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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  July 20, 2017 11:35pm-12:37am PDT

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we appreciate your time. i'm dan ashley. i'm ama daetz. for sandhya, larry, thanks for "jimmy kimmel live" would like to thank the people waiting in line to be part of our audience. not only are you a fantastic crowd, you provide a strong human wall that keeps our staff from escaping. thanks. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- t.j. miller. ufc president dana white. and music from run the jewels. and now, once again, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thank you for coming.
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[ cheers and applause ] oh, very -- i appreciate it. we have so much to get to tonight, starting with none other than o.j. as you probably heard by now, this afternoon nevada state parole board unanimously voted to grant o.j. parole. he served nine years for armed robbery. o.j. simpson for those of you too young to remember, is the second most embarrassing person associated with the kardashian family. [ cheers and applause ] right after scott disick. and not only was the parole good news for o.j. it was good news for our nation's news anchors who got a chance to really let their creative juices flow. >> the juice is almost loose. >> the juice will be set loose. >> the juice will soon be on the loose. >> the juice will be loose. >> the juice will be loose. >> the juice is loose. >> the juice is loose. >> the juice is loose. >> the juice is loose. >> the juice is loose. >> the juice is loose. >> the juice is loose. >> the judge let the goose
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loose. or the juice, i should say. >> yeah, yeah. you definitely should say. technically, the juice is not -- [ cheers and applause ] i don't know. you're not clapping because o.j.'s out, are you? [ laughter ] he could be released by october 1st. on which date he'll be picked up at the lovelock correctional facility via helicopter and flown directly to the set of "dancing with the stars." or "bachelor in paradise." whichever one's in production. [ laughter ] a number of cable networks including espn broadcast the hearing live, which wasn't a surprise. you know, o.j. simpson has been on tv longer than homer simpson. so he's a big draw. [ laughter ] before the parole board weighed in, o.j. got a chance to make his case for why he should get out sooner rather than later. >> i'm not a guy that has conflicts on the street. i don't expect to have any when i leave here. but i feel that i'm much better prepared but more so for i think my commitment to being a better
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christian because i thought i was a good guy. i had some problems with fidelity in my life. but i've always been a guy that pretty much got along with everybody. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. with two notable exceptions. [ laughter ] but it turns out o.j. -- [ applause ] o.j. even got along with his cellmate. cnn had one of o.j.'s former guards on the air today, who gave some interesting specifics as to why o.j. was such a model prisoner. >> his first cellmate was, correct me if i'm wrong, a 6'9" serial rapist who laid claim to something like 100 rapes. did they get along? >> yeah, they got along. his first cellie told me that he raped over 100 women and o.j. and him got along great. [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's nice. you see, he's a people person. >> right this way, campers!
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we're walking and we're walking and we're walking and we're stopping. >> jimmy: hi. what's going on here? >> hello. we're from late night summer camp. it's a summer camp that teaches kids about late night tv shows. >> jimmy: oh. >> this looks like a pretty good spot. grab a seat. crisscross apple sauce. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: whoa. >> let's enjoy the show. >> jimmy: do the kids have to sit right here, though? >> oh, we'll just be here a minute. go ahead. >> jimmy: okay. hi, kids. so i was just talking about o.j. [ laughter ] anyway, as i was saying, o.j. is headed to naples, florida next. so ladies, if you're in the naples area and you see someone who looks like o.j. on tinder, swipe left. definitely -- [ laughter [ laughter ] >> yikes. okay, campers, this is a teachable moment. why was that joke so bad? [ laughter ] julie. >> it was in bad taste. >> 100%. bobby? >> he used tinder as a punchline
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for the millionth time. his writers are lazy. [ laughter ] >> the laziest. >> jimmy: oh, my -- >> now let's see if he can pull out of this tailspin. >> jimmy: i'm not in a tailspin. i'm not at all in a tailspin. what are you talking about? >> raise your hand if you think mr. kimmel is in a tailspin. >> jimmy: you know what? can you guys please leave? you're distracting me. i'm trying to dot monologue. >> you're so funny, jimmy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you. who's this? who are you? >> he's in sidekick camp. he's learning how to stand in the wings and giggle at anything the host says. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh. >> great job, oscar! >> jimmy: well, kids, sorry this isn't working out but i think you guys have to leave if you don't mind. we can't really have you on the stage. fire regulations. okay? >> oh. okay, then. okay, come on, gang. let's go back to the green room and see the substances that t.j. miller is abusing. >> yea!
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[ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: so i just want to tell you guys, i have to come clean. it was all scripted. they're really not -- [ laughter ] today in case you didn't know, today is -- marks six months of president trump. that's right. he's already halfway through his presidency. how could it only be six months? yesterday alone felt like six months in the trump administration. [ laughter ] trump's approval rating after six months is 36%. which is interesting because if his approval rating drops below 30 he explodes. or wait, i might be confusing him with the bus in "speed." [ laughter ] 36% means more than a third of the country still supports what he's doing. this morning on fox and friends we met some of those people at a restaurant in clay city, kentucky who were there to chat it up with team trump. >> what does washington not understand about the working man, the working woman here in kentucky? >> they just don't understand nothing about us.
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i think trump understands and i think trump alone, he'll take care of the working people. but they need to leave him alone and let him do his job -- >> jimmy: you know, stop it right there because look at what he is eating. this guy -- this guy's going to need health care more than anyone. [ laughter ] [ applause ] three large pieces of fried i hope chicken. i don't know. and that's breakfast at 7:35 a.m. [ laughter ] but he likes what the president is doing. all i know is donald trump gets the job, six months later o.j.'s out of prison. [ laughter ] by the way, this week according to the white house, it's made in america week, which also happened to be the title of the "o.j." documentary. more collusion. you know what i'm saying? [ laughter ] trump was at the white house celebrating made in america week today where somehow the cref a pharmaceutical glass company talked him into taking part in some product demonstration. and just like that the roosevelt room in the white house turned into a scene right out of qvc. >> what this screen is going to
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show is how much force the president exerts before the vial is broken. all right? so mr. president, if you could please depress the lever. >> okay. >> depress it down. stop. okay. so he did okay. mr. president, if you'd just do the same thing, but this time don't be afraid to lean into it a little. go on. >> really? >> it's not a test of manhood. [ applause ] >> okay. >> jimmy: look at how happy he is. [ laughter ] like a kid at a carnival trying to win a bon jovi mirror or something. [ laughter ] you know, as a businessman trump made a lot of things in america. the decision to have all his suits and ties made in china was made in america, for instance. [ laughter ] so we slowed him down to half speed tonight for a special "made in america" edition of
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"drunk donald trump." ♪ [ slowed down speaking ] >> i want to welcome -- made in america week. this is what we call. made in america right here. and they're all here. some of the great business minds. business geniuses.niuses.niuses. congratulations. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it is thirsty thursday. the president, by the way, i know he doesn't drink, but he gave a real doozy of an interview to the failing "new york times" yesterday. he spoke to the "times" for just under an hour, during which time he accused former fbi director james comey of trying to blackmail him. he brought his granddaughter in to speak chinese to everyone. he talked about hitler and napoleon. and he outlined his new plan for health care. this is an actual quote.
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this is what he's going to do. "we are going to watch obamacare go down the tubes and we'll blame the democrats." so problem solved, i guess. [ laughter ] trump told reporters he was being unfairly judged because he's only been in office six months and people are expecting him to deliver a health care bill. and he has a point. i mean, where did anyone get the idea that passing health care was going to be easy? >> you're going to have such great health care at a tiny fraction of the cost, and it's going to be so easy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. donald trump hasn't met donald trump. [ applause ] i don't know if they'd get along. the most explosive part of the interview with the "times" was when trump lashed out at his own attorney general jeff sessions. he said that if he'd known jeff sessions was going to recuse himself from the russia investigation he wouldn't have hired him. jeff sessions, you may recall, was forced to recuse himself back in march because he had two undisclosed meetings with russians during the campaign when he was an adviser to trump, which obviously was the right thing to do. you can't investigate something
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you might have been a part of. so he stepped aside. and now this sessions russia stuff has been swirling around for months. but i wonder how closely people pay attention. we went outside to ask people on the street what the attorney general should do about jeff sessions. okay? of course jeff sessions is the attorney general. but did anyone know that? let's find out in tonight's edition of "lie witness news." [ cheers and applause ] >> what do you think the attorney general should do about jeff sessions' ties to russia? >> oh, my god. i think that we need to cut all ties to russia. right? that's right. yeah. >> what do you think the attorney general should do about jeff sessions' ties to russia? >> i definitely think he should see what's up with that. maybe submit a few inquiries. >> what do you think the attorney general should do about jeff sessions's ties to russia? >> i think he should try to get him to tell more about what he
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knew and why he didn't come forward sooner and about that. >> what would you say if i told you that jeff sessions and the attorney general are the same person? >> that would make sense. >> do you believe jeff sessions when he says he's more loyal to the confederacy of dunces than to russia? >> yeah. >> you do? >> i do. >> and who is jeff sessions? >> a guy that i guess under -- under -- ain't he from russia? >> who is jeff sessions? >> jeff sessions, is that the guy that has been known for talking about trump doing this and that and he doing what he wants to do, stuff like that? >> yeah. and do you know what his specific role in the government is? >> is he a part of the government in russia? yeah. >> i have no idea who jeff
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sessions is. >> do you have any idea who the attorney general is? >> i thought that was jeff sessions. >> it is. [ applause ] congratulations. you win. [ laughter ] is there anyone you'd like to thank? >> i'd like to thank my father, who forced me to watch cnn growing up against my own will. >> do you think your dad's proud? >> oh, probably not, no. i'm wearing a rugrats shirt on tv. he's not proud. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. we have a good show tonight. run the jewels is here. from the ufc dana white is with us. and we'll be right back with t.j. miller. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: abc's "jimmy kimmel live," brought to you by boost mobile.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi there. welcome. tonight, on the show, he's the president of the ufc, with two big fights coming up, this month and next. dana white is here with us. and then their album is called "run the jewels 3." run the jewels from the mercedes-benz stage. [ cheers and applause ] you can see run the jewels this weekend live at the fyf festival right here in los angeles. you know our first guest tonight from television on "silicon valley" and the movies in "deadpool." next he is aiming forrer phone too in "the emoji movie." it opens in theaters a week from tomorrow. please welcome t.j. miller! [ cheers and applause ]
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welcome, welcome. how are you? good to see you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: t.j., i'm going to start by asking why are you dressed like you just got drafted to the nba? [ laughter ] >> i'm dressed like i'm about to sell you aluminum siding and you don't know what that is. [ laughter ] i don't know. my stylist is nicole lumpkin of nicole lumpkin couture. it helps me look i guess when i'm not on television looking like a slobbish stoner i'm on your show looking like a well-dressed slobbish stoner. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you actually do look sharp. is this a custom-made suit or -- >> everything that i wear is nicole lumpkin couture. and i love mentioning that because her last name sounds so unfashionable. [ laughter ] it is the worst fashion name possible. what am i wearing? nicole lumpkin. [ laughter ] couture. >> jimmy: is that a lumpkin you have on? [ laughter ] what is this ring you have on? there's a giant ring. >> oh. i can't talk about that. [ laughter ] thank you so much for having me. thank you so much for having me
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back and to major motion picture based on -- because every time any of us use an emoji we go -- >> i have that thought, for sure. [ cheers and applause ] it's not the way you're supposed to promote things. >> we're having a fun time promoting it. i am especially. because everybody has such low standards. you know, everyone's kind of like oh, great, we'll see what this is about. and then it's actually a really good heartwarming sort of -- the sentimentality, it's very funny, it's thrilling at points and it really moves, which is great. like the pacing is wonderful. so people walk out of it and they expected to hate it and they -- even if they just kind of like it they're like, yeah! >> jimmy: that's good. >> so we're excited about it. bring your low standards and we'll -- we're perform way above
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them. >> jimmy: i'm glad you're excited about this emoji movie and i'm glad that things are going well for you. but a, i'm a little bit angry with you. and b, i'm worried about you. and i'm going to tell you why. why are you quitting "silicon valley"? this is a terrible idea. i love that show. i love your character. i think you do a great job. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: the show is not over. in fact, aren't there two more seasons of the show to come? >> i mean, perhaps. i'm no -- yeah, i'm not on it anymore. >> jimmy: you will not be on the show anymore. >> o'no. >> jimmy: did you get fired? did you steal something? did you steal that ring? [ laughter ] >> i mentioned earlier that i didn't want to talk about this. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i know you did. >> jimathan, please. no, they had a cliff-hanger and i thought would be funny just to exit. you're a family man. you talk about that a lot on the show. >> jimmy: yeah. i never go home. >> i'm always there, though. you can see me outside peering over your fence. [ laughter ] no, you know, i wanted that
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4 1/2 months -- first of all, i felt myself kind of going on -- it's hard. you know, you do a television show, it's very lucky, it's such a great show. you guys love the show. i mean -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it is a great show. >> it's only going to become better with me not on it. >> jimmy: why do you say that? >> because it has to change. it has to grow. there's something dynamic that has to happen. and those 4 1/2 months i wanted to -- we moved to new york city. and i wanted to spend that time with my wife. i've worked so hard for so long in every single medium. i feel like i am offered things like "deadpool" and "how to train your dragon" and -- >> jimmy: yeah. but what about "silicon valley"? >> well-v you seen "the emoji movie"? >> no, i haven't. but i'll probably watch it with my daughter. it's really a movie for kids primarily, right? >> and women over the age of 72. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's the demo you're going for? >> we solely want children under
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12 and women overt age of 72. >> jimmy: that's good. you just cut out the -- >> we've been killing with it. >> jimmy: but i really think you should -- if it's not too late, call mike judge, call hbo, whoever the hell you need to call and say i'm back in. ehrlich's back. >> but that would sort of ruin the joke. and -- >> jimmy: who cares? >> have you seen "the emoji movie"? [ laughter ] you haven't, have you? >> jimmy: no. i mentioned that i hadn't. >> you didn't do the research. >> jimmy: i didn't. maybe if i had seen "the emoji movie." >> we wouldn't even be talking about this. you'd be texting me right now. >> jimmy: is part of the reason you wanted to move to new york and you wanted to get out of l.a.? >> yeah. i felt certainly under this current climate and administration i thought it might be good to have more time to do stand-up because i thought that would be the way that i would pitch in and kind of -- >> jimmy: we have that here. we've got that going on in l.a. >> absolutely, yeah. but new york there's a lot more stage time when i'm in new york. when i'm in los angeles i do two to four sets possibly. in new york i do six to ten
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sets. >> jimmy: per night. >> in one night, yeah. so seven nights will give you a month's worth of stage time in los angeles. so i figure i have to go there to really be able to apply the work ethic -- the weird thing is, though, is my wife is sort of this famous underground artist in new york and she has all these friends and they're all in their 70s. that's true. she loves septuagenarians for some reason. i moved to new york and my last friend in nok nick vaterod he moved to los angeles right -- so i have no friends in new york. >> jimmy: you don't have any friends. >> it's so weird. it's like going to college -- that was very inauthentic. [ laughter ] is there something funny about this story? but it really is this sad thing where it's like going to college. you're sort of looking around talking to people being like could you be a friend? you're taking out hackie sacks just being like could you be a friend? like the closest friend i have is the guy at the head shop near where we live. and i go in, i'm like hey,
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what's going on? he's like we have a special on one hit toast and bubblers. a lot of new bubblers. what are you doing this weekend? i've got a couple of shows i can get you into. he's like no, i work here nights. i'm like cool, well, if you ever want free passes to a comedy show you can bring and you your wife. she was killed. [ laughter ] it's been a tough go of it. but i'm slowly trying to make friends in new york city. >> jimmy: i've got good news for you. guillermo is going to be taking a trip to new york pretty soon. [ cheers and applause ] if his child support comes in. >> how will we get there? because this is true. i left my passport in new york. when i came here for your show. how will we get across the border to new york city? the large apple. [ applause ] >> jimmy: we'll figure it out. t.j. miller is here. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you
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guyscause this is my jam.n... showtime! ♪tell it to my heart ♪tell me i'm the only one... nailed it tim, nailed it. ♪ oh, you don't need a passport for new york? >> jimmy: you think you need a passport to go to new york? >> guillermo: no. >> jimmy: it's part of the country. >> guillermo: oh, you're right. yeah. i'm drunk, jimmy. >> jimmy: you are?
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i am a meh. so i've got to be totally over it all the time. meh. who cares? which is not easy as it sounds. >> hello, good simmians. those are some sharp attaches. >> yes. well, we have business to attend
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to. >> what kind of business? >> monkey business. >> jimmy: that is "the emoji movie." t.j. miller plays meh. [ cheers and applause ] did they tell you you're going to play meh? >> what? >> jimmy: did they tell you you're going to be playing meh? >> you know, when they brought -- first of all, they ask asked. they said they want to meet you on this film. it's "the emoji movie." it's a movie about emojis. i said, why? [ laughter ] what do you mean? what are you talking about? why would someone do that? they said, well, they have you in mind for the main character, which is meh emoji. and i said, yes. [ laughter ] you know? i had to go and kind of see what was going to -- they pitched. how could you possibly make a movie about emojis? and then about ten minutes into the pitch i was like, well, you know what, if you're going to make a movie about emojis, that's just about the best darn movie that you could make about emojis. so i was immediately on board. and it really -- it ended up
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being an interesting experience in that it just exceeded all of our expectations. and you know, the cast is so great. maya rudolph we all love. >> jimmy: who does she play? [ applause ] >> yeah. james corden. the best late-night talk show host on television. [ applause ] no, but it's maya rudolph is the smiley face. and she's constantly kind of smiling even when she's saying really mean things. >> jimmy: that's a good take. >> so it's very psychopathic and wonderful. >> jimmy: who plays -- who's the eggplant? is anybody the eggplant? >> you know, we had called you to see if you would voice that. >> jimmy: i didn't get that call. you should have texted me with emojis next time. >> i texted you. yeah. you're being a real eggplant right now. [ laughter ] no. actually i said is there an eggplant in the film? and they said no, we spoke with sony and they decided not to do that. >> jimmy: oh. >> and i said oh, that's weird. because a lot of it is about -- you know, sir patrick stewart
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plays the pooh-pooh emoji. >> jimmy: oh, he does? >> yes! [ applause ] yes! yes. >> jimmy: did you know going in that he was going to be playing the poop emoji? >> i think so. he's got a great sense of humor and i think he thought this would be a very funny idea. and i'm not sure that he knew that forever more i would try and have everyone call him sir pooptrick stewart. or sir patrick poopart. no, but he's spectacular. >> jimmy: it sounds like you made the right decision leaving one of the great television shows "silicon valley" -- >> to do a movie. >> jimmy: that features cartoon poops. [ applause ] "the emoji movie" opens in theaters tomorrow. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] there are the memories you share. she ready. she ready. yea. and the memories you don't. i'm about to get pregnant tonight.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, hi, everyone. i'm jimmy kimmel, and unfortunately a terrible thing has happened. my friend guillermo and i are stranded on this desert island. we're getting hungry and we're just trying to decide which one of us will eat the other guy first. this one settles it. ready? one two -- >> guillermo: wait, jimmy, i just remembered.
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mcdonald's delivers with uber eats. >> jimmy: you just remembered that? >> guillermo: si. make delivery is a fast way to get hot mcdonald's food and an iced coca-cola at home, at the office, or somewhere in between. >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. look at this. wow. [ cheers and applause ] >> delivery for guillermo? >> jimmy: that's guillermo right there. a coke does shound delicious right now. that is wonderful. thank you so much. wow. did you -- >> guillermo: let me get -- >> jimmy: jet-skis go backwards? [ laughter ] did you get me anything? >> guillermo: oh, yeah. i got you a french fry. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: thanks. shouldn't we have asked that delivery guy to rescue us from the island? >> guillermo: dude. you worry too much. your mind is a garden. you have a seed. do you want to grow flowers or
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do you want to grow weeds? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what? [ laughter [ laughter [ laughter ] >> guillermo: dude, you worry too much. your mind is a garden. you toss out a seed. >> jimmy: my what is a seed? >> guillermo: your tots. >> jimmy: oh, my tots. my tots are the seeds. [ laughter ] >> guillermo: you want to grow tl flowers or weeds? >> jimmy: i want to go flowers i guess. >> guillermo: then eat your fries and shut up. >> share with your bro, bestie or crew with mcdonald's delivery on uber eats. >> jimmy: we'll be right back with dana white. [ cheers and applause ] le) ( ♪ ) ♪ i'm not playing with you ♪ ♪ i could bend a little bit, a little bit ♪ ♪ i could play a little bit, a bit for you ♪ ♪ i could see a little bit, a little bit ♪ ♪ i can see a little bit, a bit of you ♪ ♪ i've got a hold on you ♪
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♪ strummed guitar you can't experience the canadian rockies through a screen. you have to be here, with us. ♪ strummed guitar travel through this natural wonder and get a glimpse of amazing. with a glass of wine in one hand, and a camera in the other, aboard rocky mountaineer. canada's rocky mountains await. call your travel agent or rocky mountaineer for special offers now. >> jimmy: hi there. still to come, music from run the jewels. like the roamen emperors before him our next guest oversees bloody battles of mighty gladiators and charges the citizenry to watch it on pay per view. he's the president of ufc, who next month presents an
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unprecedented event, a fight between ufc champion conor mcgregor and the undefeated boxer floyd mayweather. it's august 26th on showtime pay-per-view. please welcome dana white. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you know, dana, i mentioned that this is obviously big but also unprecedented. i want to check that with you. has anything like this ever happened before where an undefeated boxer comes out of retirement to fight a ufc champion or really in any variety of sport? >> no. that's what makes this the biggest fight in combat sports history. it is literally the biggest fight ever done. >> jimmy: it is. do you think that conor has a chance at all to beat floyd mayweather in boxing? >> i do. you laugh. [ cheers and applause ] but i do. listen, when you put two people
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anywhere, here, anywhere, and they start throwing punches, anything is possible. and floy mayweather's going to be 41 years old this year. okay? if there is a kink in that armor, it has been with southpaws. conor mcgregor is a southpaw. he's 28 years old, and he hits like a truck. all right? so he's got 12 rounds to land that punch. if he can land that punch -- when he hits people, they go. and if he hits floyd, i think he will hurt him. and when he hurts people, he puts them away. >> jimmy: is this kind of like a cricket team trying to win the baseball world series? [ laughter ] >> no, no. when people put it in those types of terms, when they call boxing the sweet science, right? first thing you learn is how to throw the jab. from the jab, jab right hand, then a hook, uppercuts, body. and normally when boxers fight boxers there's a system to it. you realize if the guy's throwing a jab, right hand's probably coming next. conor mcgregor will be completely unorthodox in his fight with floyd mayweather. it's what makes the fight so intriguing. >> jimmy: let's say we reversed
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it. let's say mma fight -- >> oh. >> jimmy: and floyd was fighting conor. how long would floyd last -- >> 30 seconds. that thing would be over real quick. >> jimmy: but don't you feel like it's almost the same thing? >> the thing is that throwing punches is a part of what we do in the ufc and conor mcgregor can throw some punches. that kid hits hard. the confidence this guy has in himself is unbelievable. i haven't seen anything like this since ali. >> jimmy: he does. >> it's incredible. and he wants this fight. he believes in himself. and he's my guy. >> jimmy: let me tell you something. my buddy adam carolla has a great idea i think. so i was -- adam and i were talking about this fight, and we were -- he likes to box. in fact, we met that way. and he thinks it would be great if the first six rounds were boxing and if conor can make it past the sixth round the last six rounds become mixed martial arts. >> i should have brought him to the negotiation with me. >> jimmy: this would be an unbelievable way --
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>> they would never do it. they would never do it. listen, floyd was talking during the world tour that we just did, i'll do it in the octagon. i don't remember that in the negotiations. they want nothing to do with him. i mean, listen, at the end of the day like i said there's punches in our sport. you throw punches. floyd would take a couple of leg kicks and that would be the end of that. >> jimmy: this tour you guys went to four cities, you went to new york, l.a. -- >> toronto. >> jimmy: and london. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and this was -- i mean, nobody had to pay anything for this. this was worth -- i mean, this was a spectacle on its own. let's run a clip. >> what the [ bleep ] is he wearing? he looks like a little break dancer, like some little 12-year-old break dancer. [ bleep ]. he's 40! you're 40 years of age. dress your [ bleep ] age. carrying a school bag on stage. what are you doing with a school bag on stage? you can't even read.
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>> jimmy: it's a lot of stuff like that. >> well, what a lot of people don't realize is a lot of people that aren't into the fight business, they look at that and they're like, all right, so these guys are flying around the world insulting each other. it's as much a part of the fight as the fight itself. conor mcgregor is one of the best ever. i hate to compare people to ali. i just hate to do it. but one of the best ever in the game at the mental warfare. and floyd in his own right is very good at it too. so that's as much a part of the fight. every city they went to they got more irritated, aggravated, and it just starts to build. and my -- i've got one job. that's it. make sure these two don't touch each other. >> jimmy: oh, for real. that's your job. >> 100%. >> jimmy: why did that have to be your job? >> he's got guys there too to make sure that doesn't happen. but that's pretty much what i do at these press conferences and weigh-ins because when you have two guys that are considered the best, baddest guys in the world, whatever you want to call it,
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and they touch each other on national television, global tv. >> jimmy: they fall in love sometimes. [ laughter ] >> it's the exact opposite. [ applause ] >> jimmy: oh, it's the opposite? >> yeah. it's the exact opposite. you have disrespected me in front of the world and now i need to reciprocate. >> jimmy: so your concern primarily is that the fight takes place before people pay for the pay-per-view? >> exactly. and there's these -- what would happen, if those two got on the -- london, when we got to london, conor went by and slapped him on top of his head. >> jimmy: that's not allowed. >> that's not allowed. >> jimmy: did you talk to conor? >> i was yell at conor the whole time while it was happening. i saw it coming and i was like conor no. like slow motion. >> jimmy: it's like children. like wrangling kids or something. >> yeah. tough kids. >> jimmy: last time you were here we talked about then candidate trump, now president trump. is there any chance donald trump will come to this event? >> he was supposed to come to
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205 but he said to me, listen, i don't want to ruin your event. secret service would rip this place apart and streets would get shut down. >> jimmy: you say to him you seem to go to these golf tournaments no problem. what's the difference with that? >> well, they're not in the middle of new york city at madison square garden. >> jimmy: are people driving you crazy asking you for tickets for this? >> yeah. there's been a lot of people asking for tickets. >> jimmy: who calls you and -- who's the biggest offender? >> who didn't call me and ask me for tickets to this one? but yeah, everybody -- first of all, this fight is going to be the biggest gate ever in any combat sport. ever. you know, at the time it was mayweather-pacquiao. and now this one's going to be bigger. so the way that we structured the deal, because there's a lot of slippery things that can go on with tickets. and that did happen during the mayweather-pacquiao fight. >> jimmy: it did? >> people couldn't -- the worst thing about the mayweather-pacquiao fight is i bought ten tickets to that fight. that's the worst thing about it. [ laughter ] and i live in vegas and i'm connected to all the guys that
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have the tickets. i didn't get my tickets till friday before the fight. and now if you were coming in from out of town or whatever it was just -- it was a complete disaster. and to make sure that doesn't happen, we're actually buying all our own tickets. so i'm buying 20 tickets. >> jimmy: this is what you tell your relatives when they call you. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: i have to buy the tickets too so there's nothing i can do. >> so mayweather's buying his own tickets. conor's buying his own tickets. showtime, the ufc. you know, we're all buying our own tickets. >> jimmy: this is a good strategy i think. whatever you guys figured out, you figured it out. well, this is going to be -- i have to say, i mean, i think it's -- i don't know what's going to happen but i do want to see it. and you have another fight coming up this month as well. >> next weekend. jon jones is returning for the first time in a couple years to try to win this title back from daniel cormier. and it's a stacked card down in anaheim. so yeah. >> jimmy: well, thank you for being here. we look forward to seeing it. dana white, everybody. president of the ufc. mayweather and mcgregor,
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saturday august 26th on showtime pay-per-view. we'll be right back with run the jewels. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.
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♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
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>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: well, i would like to thank t.j. miller. i want to thank dana white. apologies to matt damon. we did run out of time for him. "nightline" is next but first, this is their album "run the jewels 3." here with the song "panther like a panther" with help from trina, run the jewels! >> i'll flood the speakers with heat seekers, and keep sneakers cleaner than nunnery -- evening of easter. i'll leave my prints on her keister. give it a kiss. if it will please her i'll kneel to her. best believe make a meal of her. ♪ told the preacher i love her he said that god was her lover ♪ ♪ i said if he really loves her then he would love that we're lovers ♪
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♪ i walk around in a bubble a freaking scoundrel in trouble ♪ ♪ in every town make a rumble the venue ground into rubble ♪ ♪ give me a ten and i'll double i'll split your face like some aces ♪ ♪ i got a fragrance i'm wearing called i will -- on you basics ♪ ♪ the money wants me to have it i have a hunger for data ♪ ♪ i'm crunching numbers and crack unbreakable safes while i'm at i♪ ♪ i'm doing more than just rapping you have to grant me that dap ♪ ♪ when you around where i'm at just know that it is not where you at ♪ ♪ i'm not on your map i'm a mystery to you captains of industry ♪ ♪ if the 'matic is missing me automatic it's victory hey ♪ ♪ it's a hit looking at the money like it's mine to get ♪ ♪ it's a hit bitch everybody down throw the pistol and fist ♪ ♪ it's a hit we looking at the money like it's ours to get ♪ ♪ it's a hit bitch everybody live throw the pistol and fist ♪ ♪ we the grimy and gritty made it the grammy committees got told that we spit it too vicious ♪ ♪ and would never see victory ♪ ♪ and i refuse to
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play humble as though -- itty bitty ♪ ♪ meanwhile you're too nervous that's why you never get service ♪ ♪ and me i caught the preacher's wife workin' 'fore sunday service ♪ ♪ i put my hand up her skirt and then we prayed for a purpose ♪ ♪ i baptized her in jesus name left her shakin' and -- ♪ ♪ ooh i shocked the sunday school and did that on purpose ♪ ♪ see i'm a pervert with purpose that make you question your purpose ♪ ♪ run the jewels'll arrive at arenas bunch of bloodthirsty hyenas ♪ ♪ to get revenge on the kingdoms that killed the dreams of the dreamers ♪ ♪ drank alcohol for the demons sip lean with all of the schemers ♪ ♪ you see he groove with the people move with the mind of a genius ♪ ♪ you see he workin' the angles so he ain't never an angel ♪ ♪ they wanna get you to hang him well give them suckers a finger ♪ ♪ it's a hit looking at the money like it's mine to get ♪ ♪ it's a hit bitch everybody down throw the pistol and fist ♪ ♪ it's a hit we looking at the money like it's ours to get ♪ ♪ it's a hit bitch
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everybody live throw the pistol and fist ♪ ♪ it's a hit >> thank you. >> y'all give it up for trina. [ cheers and applause ] >> we dedicate this song to chester bennington. >> love. >> rest in peace. >> love. ♪ ♪ i hope i hope with the highest of hopes ♪ ♪ that i never have to go back to the trap and my days of dealing with dope ♪ ♪ so i i only spit fire and dope so later on you can go quote ♪ ♪ my lines to your people and folk and they say damn ♪ that boy be spitting that pressure and he be smoking that pressure ♪ ♪ and he smart as a professor yes sir 25 lighters on dresser pound of that pressure ♪ ♪ sittin right next to next to next to a book and a gun ♪ ♪ ballot or bullet you better choose one one time for the freedom of speeches ♪ ♪ two time for the right to hold heaters just skip to the fifth if the cops in your house ♪ ♪ close your mouth and pray to your jesus ask why cause the devil a lie ♪ ♪ so i stay holy and high may never get rich
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but i never bitch ♪ ♪ 'cause i made it here by and by ♪ ♪ my my y'all i coulda died y'all a couple times i took my eyes off the prize y'all ♪ ♪ i know a few people pray for my demise y'all but like cream i had to rise ♪ ♪ i had to rise y'all who am i y'all i coulda died y'all ♪ ♪ a couple times i took my eyes off the prize y'all ♪ ♪ i know a couple people pray for my demise y'all but even birds with broken wings want to fly y'all ♪ ♪ you're gonna need a bigger boat boys you're in trouble ♪ ♪ aye gonna need a little hope boys on the double ♪ ♪ aye you muckin' with a g here see talk to me ♪ ♪ or maybe listen to the man that barely dodged his own lobotomy ♪ ♪ pop the tape in- baby we got -- we wrote for you ♪ ♪ came from feeling what a pure absence of hope can do ♪ ♪ only to leap through flaming rings and break the nose of crews ♪ ♪ still in their wings'll be them darlings hope they've broken you ♪ ♪ yeah they better hope that i'm a full force and a cold fact ♪ ♪ see the cold floor
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where i licked dirt when the dough dried and the pride died ♪ this is a special edition of "nightline." "o.j. simpson: parole granted." tonight, inside the room where o.j. simpson won his freedom today. >> mr. simpson, i do vote to grant parole when eligible. >> thank you. >> after almost nine years in prison for that las vegas robbery and kidnapping. >> i am sorry. >> his daughter's emotional plea. >> he's like my best friend and my rock. >> now what comes next for o.j. why he could collect hundreds of thousands of dollars upon his release. plus, inside the crime. details of the theft that put o.j. behind bars from some of his accomplices. >> he leaned in a little closer and he said, "by the way, can you get some heat?" >> meaning a gun? >> meaning a

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