Skip to main content

tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  November 24, 2017 11:35pm-12:37am PST

11:35 pm
right now woody harrelson on jimmy kimmel. good night. ♪ hey, yo, who -- guillermo? jimmy? >> jimmy: sorry, rosie perez! >> that's all right. you boys have fun out there, all right? hey, come by for a snack afterward, okay? >> jimmy: thank you, rosie perez! >> guillermo: thank you, rosie perez! >> okay, bye. >> dicky: from brooklyn it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight, woody harrelson, paul shaffer, and music from tony bennett brought to you by american family insurance, with cleto and the cletones. and now, cold kicking it live,
11:36 pm
here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you very much. very kind. welcome. hello, brooklyn. that's great. please sit. what's that behind me? very nice. sit, sit, relax, relax. that's very kind. i miss you already. thank you for leaving the tiny apartments you share with five roommates to be here tonight. [ laughter ] this is closing night for us at the brooklyn academy of music, it's very sad. [ cheers and applause ] i want to tell people across the country, this borough of brooklyn is unlike any other place on earth. i'm going to miss everything about it. except alternate side parking.
11:37 pm
[ laughter ] there's so much character. you can feel it in every place you go. in l.a. our most historic landmark is the sunglass hut at the sherman oaks galleria. so it's different here. i don't know if you can tell. my suit's pulling a little, i've eaten so much this week. i want to thank all the many restaurants and coffee shops and doughnut shops and diners and ice cream places, all the many establishments who sent us food this week. let's put the names of every -- i want to put this up on the screen. this is for real. i seriously ate at least one thing from every one of these places. [ cheers and applause ] i wish i was kidding. one place, frankie's spoontino, i ate at four times. i want to list to be read aloud at my funeral, i really do. [ laughter ] anyway, those are the people who have conspired to kill me this week. i want to say thanks to them and
11:38 pm
thanks to the great staff here at b.a.m., brooklyn academy of music. [ cheers and applause ] i will say, so warm and you made this opera house feel like an opera home and we appreciate it. and above all i want to thank our crew from l.a. and here in new york for all their incredibly hard work. it takes a lot to put a show like this together. [ cheers and applause ] to move a whole television show 3,000 miles. not since "saved by the bell" went to hawaii has there been a production so immense, moving. i want to thank both our crews from both coasts for doing it perfectly. we brought 245 members of our staff here for the show. we seem to be missing one of them. and i'm not -- where is guillermo? oh, no. oh, no. oh, guillermo. oh, guillermo. are you okay? yeah, just drop him off right over there. okay, good, all right. i'm glad. hi, guillermo. how are you? are you all right?
11:39 pm
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: is that a white tequila in that bag? >> guillermo: yeah. >> jimmy: it is, all right. >> guillermo: of course. >> jimmy: when we back to l.a. we have a world series waiting. if all goes as it has been going, it will be the dodgers and the yankees. [ cheers and applause ] the all-time classic baseball rivalry. the yankees are playing game six right now in houston. you know, last night i mentioned your mayor bill de blasio, who is not a yankees fan or a mets fan, he loves the red sox -- [ audience booing ] >> jimmy: it's like mayor mccheese walking into burger king and ordering a whopper. he said it would be impossible for him to root for the yankees and doesn't understand why this is a big deal. a reporter asked isn't it part of the mayor's job to rise above the personal preferences and root for the team from the city he was elected to run? here's what he said. >> to me, no.
11:40 pm
what i should do, if they win, honor them for sure which i'd be happy to do and i think they have a good chance of winning. but i am very serious about my allegiance to baseball, i'm going to do it my way. i don't think this is a thing new yorkers care about, in the end. >> jimmy: oh, really? [ audience booing ] let's take a quick vote. this is a thing new yorkers care about? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: literally, this might be the only thing new yorkers care about. new yorkers care about this and the subway. and if we're talking baseball, you're 0 for 2 on both of them. [ laughter ] even anthony weiner is like, dude, you're embarrassing yourself, stop. [ laughter ] we've had a great week of shows here thanks in no small part to an honorary member of our band. the cletones merged with the shaftones and we're blessed with the great paul shaffer. [ cheers and applause ] >> what a hash tag what a
11:41 pm
blessing. thank you, guys. thank you, jimmy, thanks for having me, what a gas. >> jimmy: may i ask, you lived here in new york for many, many years what do you make of the mayor not supporting the yankees potentially going to the world series? >> [ bleep ] unconstitutional, that's what it is. is it not? is it not? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i think the audience agrees with me, yes. >> jimmy: strong words from paul shaffer. [ laughter ] >> and i don't normally work blue. >> jimmy: but this time you had to. >> it behooves me. >> jimmy: paul's going to move down to the couch later tonight to chat. woody harrelson is with us too. [ cheers and applause ] there's one rule. we have one rule, you cannot have a brooklyn week without a tony on the show. we went out and found the best tony of all, our music guest tonight, the one and only tony bennett is here with us. [ cheers and applause ] whoa. what's -- ♪
11:42 pm
i don't know what's going on. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: excuse me. excuse me. >> hey, yo, yo, yo, yo, whassup? >> jimmy: okay, john, what are you doing? >> what does it look like we're doing? it's my crew, getting fresh, popping locks. we rock it. >> jimmy: but -- >> this is what we do. >> jimmy: you guys look great. i just want to say, though, this is wonderful, but i'm in the middle of a show right now. you remember how shows work? [ laughter ] >> to be honest, no. >> jimmy: well -- >> so -- >> jimmy: yeah, i'm just trying to do the show, so if you guys
11:43 pm
don't mind -- >> you got to take it up with the landlord, my friend. we rent this place out. every friday we practice. >> jimmy: i'm sorry, we rented it for the whole week, so we have it. i'm glad you have this, i really am. but i need to finish my monologue -- >> understood. just back down. okay. i'm sorry i have to do this but there's one way to settle it. i apologize. you just got served. [ laughter ] it's a dance-off! ♪ >> jimmy: yeah. it's -- i just -- there's not going to be a dance-off. there's just no time for a dance-off. >> oh, widdle jimmy got scared? >> jimmy: no, no, just -- i'm just uncomfortable, that's all. this is not going to -- there's not going to be a dance -- i'm
11:44 pm
sorry, i don't mean to -- >> no, there's one other way. >> jimmy: what? >> it's a brooklyn thing. >> jimmy: okay. >> you could -- promote my upcoming event on hbo. and i'll leave peacefully. >> jimmy: all right, okay. "night of too many stars"? "night of too many stars" airs on hbo november 18th to help raise funds for people with autism. >> that's right. [ cheers and applause ] listen, this is important. we got all the late-night shows. >> jimmy: all the late-night shows are involved? >> all the late-night shows are going to be involved with great auctions. it's going to be great. >> jimmy: so we're actually going to be involved? >> you, your show, you even made a video for it. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, yeah. i'd rather not talk about that, yeah. >> does anybody want to see the video? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: no, they don't want to see the video. i don't think they want to -- >> let's take a look. >> jimmy: fine, show the video. hello, i'm jimmy kimmel. >> and i'm matt damon.
11:45 pm
>> jimmy: the reason i'm here with that is to raise money for "next for autism," an organization that works to improve the lives of people living with autism spectrum disorder. he's here for publicity. >> that's bull [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: you're bull [ bleep ]. >> i'm here because i care. >> jimmy: about what? >> about people. >> jimmy: oh, now he cares about people. guess what, i'm a people. you never seem to care about me. okay. >> it just jumped. >> jimmy: i'm not doing this now, okay? i'm not going to do this with him. >> oh, oh -- >> jimmy: he's throwing things. >> wah, should i call the wah-mbulance? stop crying, i thought you cared about raising money for people. >> jimmy: i do care about that but i'm not going to be peppered by spoons by you -- you are a [ bleep ] -- >> what, you asked for pepper. >> jimmy: can i be done with this, please? can i please --
11:46 pm
>> unbelievable, you are such a baby. >> jimmy: you're throwing pepper at me. >> really, just abandon the whole plan, don't raise anything for anybody because jimmy got pepper on his food? >> jimmy: i don't have any food. >> just calm down, i'll finish it. go to to win a once in a lifetime experience, an uncomfortable dinner with me and it. >> jimmy: imagine how jealous your friends will be when you tell them that you and america's most loved talk show host sat together and watched one of hollywood's dumbest and most disgusting actors eat sandwich after sandwich like a pig. >> just imagine having a reasonable conversation with an oscar winner while biffy [ bleep ] over there eats hummus and tugs his nuts. >> jimmy: go to for your chance to win an uncomfortable dinner with jimmy kimmel and more-on. moron. >> i got it, i got the joke, it wasn't that -- >> jimmy: wasn't a joke. >> the best day of your life
11:47 pm
might very well be the worst day of mine. >> jimmy: that's how i feel. i feel like you're the worst. >> really? >> jimmy: you're the worst day of my life. >> because literally nobody likes you, are you even aware of that? >> dicky: to enter for your chance for an uncomfortable meal and support next for autism, >> jimmy: are we finished yet? i'm going to leave. >> you're a horrible person. >> jimmy: jon stewart, everybody! thanks to his crew too. jon has a crew. tonight on the show, tony bennett is here, paul shaffer is here, we'll be right back with woody harrelson in brooklyn! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
11:48 pm
>> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live in brooklyn" are brought to you by american family insurance. insure carefully dream fearlessly. ♪ so... you like it. little bit. nothing gets a reaction like a gift from kay jewelers. where everything is 25% off. save 25% off all rings, all necklaces, and all bracelets. that's 25% off everything! november 17th through 26th. at kay, the #1 jewelry store in america. dad? ♪ every kiss begins with kay directv has been rated number one in customer satisfaction over cable for 17 years running. but some people still like cable. just like some people like wet grocery bags. getting a bad haircut. overcrowded trains. turnstiles that don't turn.
11:49 pm
and spilling coffee on themselves. but for everyone else, there's directv. for #1 rated customer satisfaction over cable, switch to directv. and this weekend only get a $200 reward card call 1-800-directv pain from a headache whcan make this...ld, ...feel like this. all-in-one cold symptom relief from tylenol®, the #1 doctor recommended pain relief brand. tylenol®. and roomba from irobot
11:50 pm
gets to work using two multi-surface brushes and power-lifting suction to grab and remove everything from fine dust to large debris. daily dirt doesn't stand a chance. you and roomba from irobot. better together. ♪ little girl and boy land ♪ while you dwell within it ♪ you are ever happy there daddy, it's christmas! ♪ childhood's joy land never let go of your dreams. the mercedes-benz winter event is back. lease the e300 sedan for $569 a month at your local mercedes-benz dealer. mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. bthe less stuff i have, myto carry the better.k. with surface pro, i have one device that does everything. technology has really changed how i do this job. on pacific rim: uprising our characters are 250 ft. tall. where in the heck are you gonna land this big robot?
11:51 pm
pulled up a satellite image and there is like a giant bullseye, robots here! i feel very proud of what i bring to the screen. i have the greatest job in the world. well, it turns out she doesn' i knew everything about garthbut now i do. i just finished his new book. yes, he wrote a book. i'm so proud of him. it's not a book. it's "the anthology part 1" of a part 5 series. it's a... it's a book with cds in it. and stories like i've never heard before. pictures i've never seen. in a really sweet package. i know what i'm getting everybody for christmas this year. (announcer) 240 pages, 5 albums, and hundreds of never-before-seen photos. available now at walmart. and honey, there's some things in here that i don't think i would've told.
11:52 pm
what if there was only one haircut? now what if there was only one mattress? one is not a choice. choose your mattress with tulo. everything you want in a bed, in a box. ♪ >> jimmy: jon stewart is through. paul shaffer sitting in with our band, cleto and the cletones. we are in brooklyn, new york. later tonight, the cletones will provide music for one of if not the greatest singing voice of all-time. he is the son of a story of queens. his album is called "tony bennett celebrates 90" the incomparable tony bennett from the mercedes-benz stage. [ cheers and applause ] the best is literally yet to come. i also want to thank our celebrity breakdancer tonight,
11:53 pm
jon stewart's annual "night of too many stars" a benefit show, november 18th on hbo. every comedian you could imagine will be on it. if you want to be a part of it, jon is offering an omaze experience that will let someone meet him and sit on the real iron throne from "game of thrones" while you watch the show live. if you want to be queen soirse or king geoffrey, you get to choose. to support next for autism. a very worthy cause. [ cheers and applause ] speaking of worthy causes. the guitar company dean gel co donated a bunch of guitars. and all this week we've been collecting signatures from billy joel, dj khaled, tony bennett, amy schumer, david letterman, howard stern, jon stewart, tracy morgan, woody harrelson, paul shaffer signed the guitar, starting now go to to bid on them, all proceeds will go to
11:54 pm
my montys children's hospital, the only children's hospital here in brooklyn. go bid, i'll wait while you go. okay? all right. on monday we are back home in l.a. with george clooney, norman reedus and niall horan of one direction. please join us for that. our first guest is an oscar-nominated and emmy-winning actor who plays united states president lyndon johnson in the rob reiner directed "lbj." it opens in theaters on november 3rd. please welcome woody harrelson! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how are you doing?
11:55 pm
what are you wearing there? you've got a harvard -- did you go to harvard? >> i went to harvard. >> you did? >> yeah, just the other day. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i walked right into that one. you're dressed as if the delivery guy knocked on the door and you said, oh, i better put some clothes on. [ laughter ] >> yeah well. i didn't know i was coming straight here from the train. it was a long story. >> jimmy: have you -- >> i would have snazzed up, i'd be dressed like you. >> jimmy: have you lived in new york an extended period of time, have you ever really lived here? >> yeah, i lived here many years ago, back when i was a young tyke. >> jimmy: pre"cheers" years? >> pre "cheers." when i was trying to break into the business. first i was doing, you know, various odd jobs. things in restaurants. oh, god. just terrible jobs. >> jimmy: what was one of the
11:56 pm
terrible jobs you had? >> one of the terrible jobs -- i think there was something i was supposed to tell you that was going to be funny. >> jimmy: oh. [ laughter ] >> and i can't -- you've seen this. >> i hate when that happens, yeah. >> it's terrible. >> jimmy: it's called the lingering effects of marijuana. [ laughter ] >> yeah, okay. okay. >> jimmy: it really is. [ applause ] which by the way, is this true that you quit? you quit smoking? >> yeah. i quit. i quit about 12:30. [ laughter ] had nothing, nothing since 12:30. no, no, i did. i quit smoking. >> jimmy: why did you quit? why did you quit smoking? >> well -- an experiment. >> jimmy: really. >> yeah. i mean, you know. i've been smoking -- i smoked enough pot to fill this theater. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: with smoke or actual pot? that seems like a lot. >> definitely with actual pot.
11:57 pm
>> jimmy: when you did quit -- >> that's a very good -- >> jimmy: i was actually -- i was surprised, and maybe even i felt a little disappointed -- >> hurt, hurt. >> jimmy: i know you're very good friends with willie nelson. do you sit willie down and tell him -- how do you break the news to willie? >> that was a very hard one to break. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it was a hard one, yeah. >> that was just one guy. in fact, you know, it was one of those things where at first i'm like pretending, you know. >> jimmy: oh, really. >> just holding it, because i don't want him to know. finally i'm like, willie, i quit. and still it never fails, you know. the joint comes around and he's passing it to me. >> jimmy: sure. >> he keeps waiting for me to smoke again. >> jimmy: and you don't? >> i'm not -- it's been a year and a half. >> jimmy: when you smoked that last one, did you know it was going to be the last one? >> no, it was at the tail end of a bender. [ laughter ] yeah, yeah. [ cheers and applause ]
11:58 pm
i mean, i'm looking at this group. i know there's some people here who know what i'm talking about. [ cheers and applause ] yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: we've been here for a week, i feel like i am at the tail end of a bender right now, yeah. >> hey, can i just say something? >> jimmy: yeah, go ahead. >> you know, i've been -- i just came from london. i've been in london for a year. but, you know, people send me things. because they know we're buddies. and the stuff you've been -- that -- your speeches about health care, the passionate, amazing -- [ cheers and applause ] yeah, i mean -- >> jimmy: can i be honest? that's nice of you but i thought you were talking about drugs when you said people were sending you things. >> no, but then also the speech you gave after vegas, you know. that was one of the most beautiful things. >> jimmy: that's nice of you to say, i appreciate it. [ applause ]
11:59 pm
>> i sent you an e-mail but i'm not sure i'm sending it to the right -- >> jimmy: you might not be. i saw your movie "lbj" and you are fantastic at this movie. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i see you made up like lbj, oh, that's woody. 30 seconds in you forget about that. the makeup looks really great. and this is i think a very powerful and moving performance. crazy, though. you are shooting this movie, as far as i understand, at the same time bryan cranston is shooting his lbj movie. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: did that worry you at all? >> big-time. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it did. >> you know, he's one of the greatest actors alive. and what was cool was i thought to myself, you know, i wanted guidance. and i thought, just call bryan. [ laughter ] who's going to know better how to play -- he did it on broadway for a while. so i call him. you know, on his day off, he was working six-day weeks.
12:00 am
jay roach, just like slave driver over there. so no. and then one day off. and he takes two hours out of his life to like talk to me on the phone and give me advice and talk to me about lbj. and then he put me in touch with people who knew him. he was amazing. >> jimmy: he's one of the best guys. >> and i said to him, dude, you know, i got to be quite honest, i don't think i would do this for you. [ laughter ] and he says, well, you know, i don't look at it as a competition, he says, it's a big tent, let's fill it. >> jimmy: wow. [ applause ] >> he's a beautiful guy. >> jimmy: that is remarkable. really. so one of the things that's interesting about lbj is that, you know this is true, he would like to have meetings, he'd be sitting on the toilet and meeting with people. >> yeah, he did that. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: so that's kind of the setup for this clip. and -- well, here it is, woody harrelson's new movie "lbj."
12:01 am
>> so why the [ bleep ] am i busy alienating every son of a bitch in my party when, if i'm going to make a run in '68, well, i'm going to need people to [ bleep ]ing like me. shut the door. >> how could anybody not like him? >> jimmy: "lbj." that's fun, right? >> yeah, it's -- yes. we've been, you know -- we showed it here the other night. then we showed it in boston. then last night in d.c. >> jimmy: how'd they like it in d.c.? >> just amazing response. just incredible. and i think, you know, just by contrast to the present political climate, it's really getting a lot of great response. >> jimmy: our president doesn't have meetings on the toilet but he does tweet from the toilet, which seems -- >> yeah. [ laughter ]
12:02 am
>> jimmy: that's what he has in common with lbj. >> he says he looks down and i'm going to tweet some [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: woody harrelson. "lbj" opens november 3rd. we'll be right back with a special message from new york cab drivers! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live in brooklyn" are brought to you by american family insurance. insure carefully dream fearlessly.
12:03 am
shsaturday is the last day toore anget $15 kohl's cashday for every $50 spent! plus - take an extra 20% off! save on cashmere sweaters sleepwear for the family and bedding. saturday at kohl's. oh, no, you blinked. he blinked... dylan, is a patient at st. jude children's research hospital. thanks to you, st. jude is leading how the world treats and defeats childhood cancer. and we freely share our research to help save kids worldwide. saw you blink! no, you blinked. nope, you blinked. i didn't blink. give thanks for the healthy kids in your life. visit or shop where you see the st. jude logo. i could do this for a hundred years. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
12:04 am
12:05 am
i'm worried. i have this medical bill...oll, huh? dave, you have anthem and they have people to talk to who are empowered to help any question you... is, is he okay? real people? living and breathing. hopefully not breathing like that. for all the things that keep you up at night, anthem blue cross has a solution. well it's a perfect nespresso hold on a second.orge. mmm. ♪ [mel torme sings "comin' home baby"] hey there. want a lift? ♪ where are we going? no don't tell me. let me guess. ♪ have a nice ride. ♪ how far would you go for coffee that's a cup above? i brought you nespresso. nespresso. what else? it's just my eczema again,t.
12:06 am
but it's fine. yeah, it's fine. you ok? eczema. it's fine. hey! hi! aren't you hot? eczema again? it's fine. i saw something the other day. eczema exposed. your eczema could be something called atopic dermatitis, which can be caused by inflammation under your skin. maybe you should ask your doctor? go to to learn more. what if home security was different? what if it looked different? what if the measure of working, was that you never had to think about it. ♪ what if it was so easy to use, you actually used it. [alarm] you have 3 minutes to exit. what if it gave you time, and what you really need from home security. a sense of security. ♪
12:07 am
really? really? really? really? really? see zero in a whole new way. get zero down, zero deposit, zero first month's payment, and zero due at signing on select volkswagen models. now with the people first warranty. >> jimmy: welcome back. paul shaffer and tony bennett on the way. but first, i have some transportation news which is always a big subject around here according to the failing "new york times," for the first time ever in new york more people are taking uber than taxi cabs. uber now averages about 12,000 more trips per day than
12:08 am
taxis. who knew people would prefer getting picked up by pushing a button on their phone, to standing out in the middle of the street waving their arms at traffic. we wanted to do something to commemorate this event so we went out on the street, hailed a bunch of cabs and we asked the drivers to congratulate uber on all their recent success. [ laughter ] >> uber just surpassed new york city cabs for the most riders. >> that is terrible. it is terrible. because now people are not flagging the taxi no more. >> uber very, very, very bad company. >> i hate uber. >> would you like to congratulate uber? >> uber is [ bleep ]. is no good. >> look right there -- >> i feel like they should go back and learn how to drive in the city. >> uber get out from new york. that's it. we want to make our money here with the cab. with the taxi. it used to be taxi. >> i'm sorry, my ride's arriving, i got to go. >> get the [ bleep ] out of here, uber.
12:09 am
that's it. >> uber no good. >> uber, i hate you! okay, okay. thank you very much. >> you're the happiest guy i've ever seen. >> [ bleep ] on the streets, man. >> brooklyn, brooklyn. >> screw you, uber, go to hell. that's all i got to say. you're not welcome here in brooklyn, period. >> uber sucks. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right, we'll be right back.
12:10 am
directv has been rated number one in customer satisfaction over cable for 17 years running. but some people still like cable. just like some people like wet grocery bags. getting a bad haircut. overcrowded trains. turnstiles that don't turn. and spilling coffee on themselves. but for everyone else, there's directv. for #1 rated customer satisfaction over cable, switch to directv. and this weekend only get a $200 reward card call 1-800-directv (avo) if you'rand you've triedlly pain any number of laxatives, probiotics, and fiber, it could be wearing on you. tell your doctor what you've tried and how long you've been at it. linzess works differently from laxatives. linzess treats adults with ibs with constipation or chronic constipation. it can help relieve your belly pain and lets you have more frequent and complete bowel movements that are easier to pass.
12:11 am
do not give linzess to children less than six, and it should not be given to children six to less than eighteen. it may harm them. don't take linzess if you have a bowel blockage. get immediate help if you develop unusual or severe stomach pain, especially with bloody or black stools. the most common side effect is diarrhea, sometimes severe. if it's severe stop taking linzess and call your doctor right away. other side effects include gas, stomach-area pain, and swelling. ask your doctor if 90 days of linzess may be right for you. multiple accounts, investments, insurance- it can leave you. wondering how it all fits together. at northwestern mutual, we help you see your whole picture, find out what you truly want, and then together we design a plan to go get it. there's a confidence that comes in knowing what financial security is and doing what it takes to achieve it. take the first step. connect with an advisor at
12:12 am
ok, sfx: cocktail shaker.ease! ♪ all: [cheering] it's secret santa time! we bring your family amazing value every day. t.j. maxx. marshalls. homegoods. family is the greatest gift. ♪ sourced entirely in france, for a character all its own. grey goose. give the world's best tasting vodka. ♪ music playing bye scout! ♪ ♪ where is it you wanna go? ♪ where is it you wanna go? check it out! ♪ oh, dude. i'm sending it to him.
12:13 am
♪ where is it you wanna go? where is it you wanna go? ♪ ♪ where is it you wanna go? where is it you wanna go? ♪ thank you. ♪ where is it you wanna go? where is it you wanna go? ♪ ♪ hey! hey. whatcha doin' on your computer? what's a computer? ♪ grooves in your sandwich? do you always put cheez-it of course! they're chips. sandwich: equals the perfect lunch. ooooh...don't forget the pickle. it's kind of a big dill. cheez-it grooves. chips made with 100% real cheese. dang right it's a chip!
12:14 am
12:15 am
>> jimmy: welcome back. paul shaffer and tony bennett are on the way but first, for me, my most valuable possession is my collection of christmas themed hummel figurines. but the men and women american family insurance believe the most valuable things you can ever own are your dreams. and to illustrate this point, our own guillermo sat down with rising new york music star karen rodriguez. >> guillermo: i like cupcakes too. >> me too. >> guillermo: what is your dream, karen rodriguez? >> my dream, i would love nothing more than to touch millions of people with my music, to make them proud, to perform in my hometown of new york city. >> guillermo: that's a good dream. >> it is. what's your dream?
12:16 am
>> guillermo: my dream. is to help you achieve your dreams. >> what? >> guillermo: so get up, close your eyes. >> where are we going? >> guillermo: trust me. >> i trust you. ♪ ♪ >> guillermo: can i get a pretzel, please? >> pretzel? >> guillermo: don't worry, it's part of your dream. now you can open your eyes. >> now? >> guillermo: yes. look, karen rodriguez. we both achieved our dreams. now go up there and make us proud. good luck. ♪ ♪ >> dicky: american family insurance. insure carefully, dream fearlessly.
12:17 am
>> jimmy: we'll be right back with paul shaffer! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ("carol of the bells" playing) ♪
12:18 am
♪ ♪ (music ends) (drumsticks clattering) ♪ think of your fellow man, ♪ lend him a helping hand, ♪ put a little love in your heart.♪ ♪ you'll see it's getting late, oh please don't hesitate...♪ ♪ put a little love in your heart.♪ ♪ in your heart... ♪ in your heart... ♪ in your heart... ♪ in your heart. (vo) going on now, our subaru share the love event will have donated over one hundred fifteen million dollars to those in need. at p60 million meals soto pets in that definitely feels good! with your support, we provide meals for pet shelters and food banks to feed hungry pets across the country.
12:19 am
this holiday season, buy any bag of dog or cat food at petsmart. any brand, any size and we'll give a meal to a pet in need. 60 million meals! that's so much food. petsmart - for the love of pets. is time you make for yourself. aveeno® daily moisturizing lotion with active naturals® oat. locks in moisture to improve skin wellness in just one day. aveeno® naturally beautiful results® except for every ladies' night. vegetarian... only glad has forceflex to prevent rips, leaks, and punctures. so whatever you throw in the bag... stays in the bag. be happy, it's glad.
12:20 am
♪ ♪ ♪ and roomba from irobot gets to work using two multi-surface brushes and power-lifting suction to grab and remove everything from fine dust to large debris. daily dirt doesn't stand a chance. you and roomba from irobot.
12:21 am
better together. with advil's fast relief, you'll ask, "what pulled muscle?" "what headache?" nothing works faster to make pain a distant memory. advil liqui-gels and advil liqui-gels minis. what pain? shsaturday is the last day toore anget $15 kohl's cashday advil liqui-gels and advil liqui-gels minis. for every $50 spent! plus - take an extra 20% off! save on cashmere sweaters sleepwear for the family and bedding. saturday at kohl's.
12:22 am
>> jimmy: hi, there. we are back. music from tony bennett is still to come. our next guest has been making music on tv for more than 40 years. starting december 21st he brings his magic to las vegas with a mini residency at caesar's palace.
12:23 am
please welcome paul shaffer! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: wow. >> well, it's friday night. >> jimmy: it is friday night in brooklyn. >> you remember alan thicke, we miss him so much. when everybody and his wife had a show for a while. >> jimmy: that's right, they had a reality show. you were a viewer of that show? >> i was a viewer of his talk show. >> jimmy: yeah, sure. >> friday nights it was party night. we knew that because his sleeves would come up. >> jimmy: ah. >> so can you? >> jimmy: i don't think i can. >> well, you don't have -- you're tailored, i know. so i'll do it for everyone. >> jimmy: yeah, there you go. >> it's party night.
12:24 am
party night, everybody. we miss alan thicke. >> jimmy: a beautiful tribute to alan. >> thank you very much. i have had the time of my life with cleto and the boys, all the cletones. fantastic cast. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i know you played with a lot of bands. rock 'n' roll hall of fame, you played with some of the biggest people ever. is it odd for you, is it like being in a different relationship, to play with the band from another talk show? >> well, yes. >> jimmy: it is. >> it made me feel like i was cheating on my wife. but my wife doesn't mind. >> jimmy: if you cheat, that's nice. >> people used to think dave letterman and i were married. he used to announce it. as a joke. paul and i were married in a quiet civil ceremony. people believe it. >> jimmy: people believe that? >> they believe anything you say on television. >> jimmy: well, then let's -- >> party night, friday night, everybody believes it. look at the sleeves. are your sleeves up? put your sleeves up! if alan thicke were around right now, he'd be like david khaled.
12:25 am
put your sleeves up! everybody would be -- >> jimmy: have you met dj khaled? >> i didn't get to meet him. when you're in the band you don't always -- >> jimmy: what about cardi b? i know she's been on your list. >> cardi b, huge. i was thrilled that she was here. when cardi b clears her schedule and says i'm doing kimmel, i know it's a big night. every night's been big. last night billy joel, fantastic. >> jimmy: that was great, yeah. >> and you mentioned he does once a month, a couple of times a month, he does madison square garden. he calls it a residency. we used to call it a engagement. a regular engagement. >> jimmy: you're calling this a mini residency. >> this is a mini. the who started that, four nights in las vegas, they call it a mini residency. that's what i've done tonight with you, a mini residency. i'm sad it's over. >> jimmy: i love being part of this mini residency. >> i love it too. >> i know you have another mini residency coming up in las vegas at the end of december, starting december 26th. >> as you know, i have, no offense to you, you are a las vegas native.
12:26 am
after you left brooklyn, of course. i have made fun of lounge performers all my life. >> jimmy: you have. >> talked like them, talked about, jimmy, i have a case of vegas throat, you know. when you're in the desert too long and your cords dry out. i've had vegas throat all my life, never been to vegas. this is like fulfilling my destiny. to open at caesar's palace lounge, the lounge is called cleopatra's barge. >> jimmy: yes. >> december 21st is the first night. then a three-day weekend between christmas and new year's and after new year's. you don't have to come to opening. >> jimmy: i am going to come. >> you don't have to. >> jimmy: i would love to. >> i would love it if you came. >> jimmy: let me ask you this, will you be spending christmas at the holidays in las vegas? >> i probably won't be there for christmas. but i'll come back for the weekend in between christmas. >> jimmy: no holidays in las vegas. >> well, you've got to gamble and you've got to get -- do your show, get the people out to the tables. and that's what i intend to be doing. i'm going to have gogo girls. >> jimmy: that will be nice. >> i'm going to do a gogo
12:27 am
segment, take you back to the whiskey a gogo. cages and the thing. then they walk the plank and go right into the water -- no, they don't do that. it's going to be old fashioned fun. >> jimmy: will you do this? this is an important vegas thing to do, when you see a celebrity in the crowd, you single that celebrity out, you make them stand up and accept applause. >> you must introduce celebrities. just like that time, i know marty short has talked about it on the show, when i went to las vegas with him and dave thomas and eugene levy, we went to all the shows, ann margaret, each of them would introduce all four of us, they would say, in no particular order i'm going to introduce a celebrity. there's a specific order. marty always went last. always. because he got the tables. we went to see wayne newton, he said in no particular order. of course a specific order. i came last because i had gotten that table. then it's part of the protocol. whoever gets the table, you introduce them last. >> jimmy: marty was putting himself in the anchor position so he would be introduced last. >> well, he's no fool.
12:28 am
except wayne newton and i, we're former lounge performers, we have a simpatico, he introduced me last. >> jimmy: so you have been many times introduced in this thing. >> i have, of course. i said i would take a very -- you know the half stand. you don't stand. it's this half. you know. i want you to do that. >> jimmy: what's the most vegas experience you've ever had? >> one time i went with harry sheerer to see siegfried and roy. you know who they are. >> jimmy: i've seen them, yes. >> huge, the musicians siegfried and roy, huge cats, they make a tiger disappear and stuff. >> jimmy: the tiger made him disappear, actually. >> well, that was sad, yeah he sure did. >> jimmy: too soon? [ laughter ] >> 15 years. not too. roy's still with us, thank god. >> jimmy: they're both still with us. >> they're both wonderful guys. they invited me and harry to the show and we didn't know the night -- james brown was there, he had just shot "living in america" for rocky iv.
12:29 am
he was at the siegfried and roy show -- >> jimmy: you're a huge james brown fan too? >> yeah, he's everything to me. the time he played -- i've never gotten over it. so there he is. he's in there. they say, come on up to the suite, siegfried and roy invite us. up to the suite. we go up with james brown. the titans are there. the heaviness of the show business, weight and heft, siegfried and roy, james brown. they sat at tables and a talk show ensued. there were no cameras but james started interviewing siegfried and roy. let me ask you something. are you a religious man? siegfried, well, yes, i am religious. roy is not. and roy says, i believe in the elements. so roy believes in the elements, you know? and then they said we talked a lot about the supernatural, you know. siegfried saying, when i was a child i so wanted a magic kit, and it was five marks, i didn't have, i look in the gutter, there's five marks, i buy the
12:30 am
magic kit. and now today i'm a star. james brown said, i know what you mean, one time the music got so heavy the drummer broke his bass pedal, the bass drum kept on going! that was how supernatural they were. then he says, let me ask you something, siegfried, what do you think about science? what do you think about science? siegfried is stuck. what do i think about -- what do i think about science? he says, tell you what james. he says, i will write you a letter and tell you in that letter what i think about. yeah, you do that, siegfried, you write me a letter. i run into siegfried two weeks later, i'm researching my show. and now he's in civilian clothes, got his outfit over his shoulder. he's got a members-only short jacket and pressed blue jeans. >> jimmy: nice. >> and i said, that was amazing with james brown and you were sweet with the lions and the roy and he said, what was james brown talking about, science? i'm sure going to write him a letter, yeah, that's what i'm going to do, yeah.
12:31 am
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the most valuable letter in american history. >> i want it. >> jimmy: well, paul, i cannot possibly thank you enough. it was a thrill for me. it was a thrill for cleto. >> i loved doing the mini residency! thank you for having me, cleto. thanks a lot. >> jimmy: paul shaffer. paul's mini-residency at cleopatra's barge in caesars palace, las vegas begins december 21st. and runs into the new year. be right back with tony bennett! >> dicky: music in brooklyn on "jimmy kimmel live" is brought to you by mercedes benz. the best or nothing.
12:32 am
it's just my eczema again,t. but it's fine. yeah, it's fine. you ok? eczema. it's fine.
12:33 am
hey! hi! aren't you hot? eczema again? it's fine. i saw something the other day. eczema exposed. your eczema could be something called atopic dermatitis, which can be caused by inflammation under your skin. maybe you should ask your doctor? go to to learn more. >> dicky: music in brooklyn on jimmy kimmel live is brought to you by mercedes benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: well, thank you, brooklyn. this is the best way we could possibly end a great week of shows. this is his album, it's called "tony bennett celebrates 90." here with "the best is yet to come," tony bennett! ♪ ♪ ♪ out of the tree of life i just
12:34 am
picked me a plum you came along and every thing's startin to hum ♪ ♪ still it's a real good bet the best is yet to come ♪ ♪ the best is yet to come and babe won't that be fine you think you've seen the sun ♪ ♪ but you ain't seen it shine wait till the warm-up's underway ♪ ♪ wait till our lips have met wait till you see that sunshine day ♪ ♪ you ain't seen nothin yet ♪ the best is yet to come and babe won't it be fine the best is yet to come come the day you're mine ♪
12:35 am
♪ come the day you're mine i'm gonna teach you to fly we've only tasted the wine ♪ ♪ we're gonna drain the cup dry ♪ ♪ wait till your charms are right for these arms to surround ♪ ♪ you think you've flown before but you ain't left the ground ♪ ♪ wait till you're locked in my embrace wait till i draw you near ♪ ♪ wait till you see that sunshine place ain't nothin like it here ♪ ♪ the best is yet to come and babe won't it be fine the best is yet to come come the day
12:36 am
you're mine ♪ ♪ out of the tree of life i just picked me a plum ♪ [ cheers and applause ] thank you very much! >> jimmy: tony bennett! how about that, that is the best. thank you, tony. thanks to woody harrelson, paul shaffer, jon stewart, no thanks to matt damon. thanks to all of you for welcoming us. "nightline" is next, thanks for watching, good night!
12:37 am
a murder unsolved for 13 years. a young man shot on the streets of new york. >> police are still looking for clues in the fatal shooting of at a bank early today. >> tonight inside a real-life hunt to catch a killer. >> put it all together and you've got a shooter. >> with a detective still on the trail. >> i've never known him, first time we met he's dead. >> the reporter who's been there since day one. >> i was present with a camera 24/7. >> the victim's family. >> i've replayed that night in my mind millions and millions of times. >> abc news given unprecedented access inside the nypd following the every move of the m


info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on