tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC February 7, 2018 11:35pm-12:37am PST
i am dan ashley. >> >> announcer: from hollywood, it's jimmy kimmel live. tonight rose byrne, from "the shape of water" oscar nominee richard jenkins and musical guest in real life. and now here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi there. thanks for coming. thanks for showing up. so glad you're here. [ cheers and applause ] we should all be glad we're here. lucky to be in l.a. this week,
it was 81 degrees today here, almost makes me feel guilty when i think of my friends back home but not really they have better pizza that's worth the cold. hey the east coast is basically a slurpe, schools are closed all thanks to winter storm lee am. the winter channel picked up sound as the storm built over the great lengths because liam is a winter storm to be reckoned with. >> i will look for you. [ laughter ] i will find you. and i will kill you. >> oh, my god! well, run, because this storm has a very particular set of skills. anyway warm wishes to those of you in liam's path.
lately have you seen president trump's hair flapping in the wind if you haven't you're in for a treat this is friday heading into mara lago for the weekend and his hair tried to fly off without him. now the red hats make sense. [ cheers and applause ] think we might have to see that again. yeah. see you can see, this is why darth vader had the good sense to wear a helmet. according to white house press secretary sarah sanders the president's hair stood still and he doesn't have a bald spot and anything to the contrary is fake news. remember in the campaign when trump took a strong stand
against something makes no sense. >> the wind kills all your birds, all your birds, killed. environmentallists don't talk about that. wouldn't say it makes your farm land look beautiful with those wind mills driving you loco when you look at them, right. >> now we know why he's anti wind. [ cheers and applause ] he doesn't care about birds the guy eats kentucky fried chicken twice a week. put the hair up there one more time. ha, ha. this i wonder if this would happen if you rolled can't lope on the floor with dog groomer. we decided to go around to ask real hair styling professionals what they think is going on on our president's head. ♪ >> hi what do you think about donald trump's hair here?
>> ooh, someone did not glue that down tight enough. >> haven't seen that angle, seen the front never the back, it's pretty odd. >> that's a bad weave. he needs some closure or something. >> well. ha, ha. there's a lot of hair flying in the air right there. >> whoo it's like the back side of a dog. >> well. i don't know. um, it's bad. >> oh, no way. >> what's happening to his hair? >> i don't know. it's awful. >> what do you think of this? >> oh, that need to go. that needs to go. that look like the behind of an ostrich. >> what would you call that
look? >> neglect. >> that guy's name monster from "goonies" with the buck teeth that's who he reminds me of. >> what would you do with the hair. >> i'd shave the whole head. >> what do you recommend donald trump do with his hair to avoid looking like a dog. >> palmade maybe four or five cans, slick down to the skin. yeah palm aid will save your life. keep you in hurricane, tornado, wind storm, in the desert. >> keep you from being impeached. >> oh, yeah, it will keep you. palm aid better try it. >> brought to you by pomade. >> jimmy: meanwhile as this russian investigation continues on, there's new reports that donald trump still wants to meet
with special counsel robert mueller even though his lawyers are strongly advising him not to. they want assurances that mueller's team won't try to entrap the president by doing sneaky things like asking him questions. [ laughter ] but trump apparently believes that his extensive experience testifying in the many lawsuits in which he's been involved will help him outmaneuver the special counsel. he thinks he can work this and doesn't realize how high the stakes are. i disagree i think it's robert mueller who doesn't know how high the stakes are, i agree president trump you didn't do anything wrong, even if did, you are too smart to get caught, you'll run circles around these clowns, donald trump gets in that meeting not only will they drop the investigation robert mueller will beg him for tickets to the inaugural ball in 2020. i dare those knit wits to try to outwit the greatest negotiate of
all time. president trump you wipe the floor with those numb skulls and when you get done get back to making america greater than already made us which is pretty darn great. [ cheers and applause ] >> will somebody edit just that part of the video and tweet it to him so he testifies. donald trump wants a parade by the way. was in france saw the best deal day parade and got it going so department of defense he wants a big military like that one of course he does, children love parades why wouldn't he. [ laughter ] now the pentagon is stuck trying to figure this out, though they don't know where the money will come from will cost millions, everyone will pitch in, already people already making balloons,
they got animals with the for the kids, they got puppets. they got floats. statutes. more statutes. man it's going to kick that macy's parade's ass is what it will do of the white house tailor made the president a special outfit to wear to his parade. he's going to look great in it. [ laughter ] even that doesn't fit. i am sure the president isn't very happy about this. this is his wife, his current wife melania she only follows five people on twitter one of those people is barack obama, the man her beloved hates most she follows. she also follows mike pence but won't read any of melania's tweets without his wife in the room so follows karen pence too. people don't know why she will follow barack obama but did
manage to get hold of dms the first lady slid into is that what they do they slide it in. here are the dms she wrote, help me. how to lock door of lincoln bedroom, don-don keep finding me and how nobody noticed i have no idea. [ cheers and applause ] i was curious to find out who other mens of team trump are following on twitter. so we looked through these, this is real, real results, devin nunes author of the hilarious nunes memo, he follows south park and the twitter account for the olympic flame which has more followers than he does the olympic flame.
white house press secretary follows my brother and my cousin sal all three of them dispicable by the way. donald trump jr. the best of all. djtj follows one of the jonas brother. former campaign manager paul manafort who was indicted on charges and he follows at bristol suites woman who tweeted things like this, oops wrong hole, just kidding i don't have a wrong hole. i guess the orange doesn't fall far from the tree. congress right now is trying to avoid another government shut down. president trump would love to see it if deal isn't reached but senate reached a deal that might
not pass the house. nancy pelosi set a record for longest speech ever given on the house floor in support of daca which is not part of the agreement. she spoke for eight hours and seven minutes straight she's 77 years old [ cheers and applause ] which you know what i have to say, all right, a lot of people are congratulating her my father is 77 years old he once talked about his knee surgery for 13 hours straight. he might still be going i don't know. we'll see after twork work. everything's a mess. white house press secretary rob porter resigned after two of his exwives accused him of choking, punching, one said he became verbally abusive on her honey moon the other said he kicked her on their honey moon in response this statement released, rob porter a man of
true inegg grit and honor a true confident and trusted professional i'm proud to serve alongside, so he really let him have it. on top of that. e advanta . >> listen partners we don't have a flu season we got a duck season a deer season but we don't have a flu season, and don't receive it when somebody threatens you with everybody's getting the flu. we've already had our shot. he bore our sicknesses and carried our diseases. >> so jesus was our flu shot? saying jesus is our flu shot is dumb because not only want to protect you of the flu now your kids will be scared of jesus. so members of the trump
administrati administration distanced themselves from the comments today, with the exception of crazy old people she doesn't have anyone on her side on this. >> i'm asking you lord with your super natural power to hale them now from the top of their head to the soul of their feet. flu, i bind you off the people in the name of jesus. jesus himself gave us the flu shot. he redeemed us from the curse of flu. and we receive it and we take it and we are healed by his stripes. >> all right. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] we're going to take a break, when we come back kim jong-un has a sister and music exclusive review of the oscar-nominated "the post" so stick around. we'll be right back [ cheers and applause ] ♪ what if a un
>> announcer: abc jimmy kimmel live brought to the but the university of phoenix. ter hours. from the struggle, to the reckoning. to the moment you sit in that auditorium and realize that your whole life is about to change. what if a university could guarantee fixed affordable tuition... from your first class, to your last. you for four years. you named it brad. you loved brad. and then you totaled him. you two had been through everything together. two boyfriends, three jobs... you're like nothing can replace brad.
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starting tomorrow the winter olympics getting under way in south korea and north korea leader is not going to be at the olympics he is however sending the sister. which is weird i thought kim jong-un was the sister. he's a man? anyway kim yo-jong is considering to be his closest relative only because he killed all his other relatives. south korean media is calling
her kim jong-un's ivanka, they are, i don't think they meant it as an insult. maybe so i don't know. meanwhile in united states top college football rekrucruits rel which school they will go to out of high school. the athletes get their family and friends together and put on the hat they decide to play for today's top recruit jacob copeland made his decision and it didn't go over well with his mom. >> going to pick my hat -- cheer. [ applause ] so you're going to florida who just got up and left to your right?
who got up and left. >> that's my mom. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: apparently she had her heart set on turning his bedroom into a crafting room now he's going to be so close to home. believe it or not that's not the most ridiculous thing that happened in florida this week this is the first of what i suspect will be many editions of this week in florida. >> inside any google store you're bound to find old clothes, used books, and toys, but how about a grenade launcher the shocking item from last year. >> loaded with a live grenade arriving in a group of donated items. employees didn't recognized the weapon and sent it here to goodwills bargain barn in saraso sarasota. >> good going florida, just keep doing whatever it is you're doing.
the oscars are less than a month away, will be aired sunday march 4th on abc and nine best picture nominees, which is a lot. so those who haven't seen themselvthem here's yaya talking about tom hanks and meryl streep's movie "the post". >> action. >> hi it's me. wait, whoa. hi it's me i want to talk about the oscar movie, bust -- post -- post washington, you know that movie, it talk about the storea story. the man in that movie tom hanks also a good actor. did the movie "saving private ryan" and did the movie with
sally fields, you know meryl streep three oscar winner did lot of movies with big stars. she's in move the devil wore shoes. you know she's in the movie with eastwood too. and also the movie with dustin hoffman and in the movie he dress like woman. matter of fact is in movie market. in the movie called soofy which kid she don't know which one. okay. the one she do it like with the dog the black and white you know. no. no, okay. sorry.
the next one >> i'm not a crook. i'm not a crook. you understand. go watch the movie. bust office -- no post -- post -- washington okay go watch the movie. >> okay. yehya. we'll go watch the movie. later on the show we will have oscar nominee richard jenkins here and musical guest in real life right back with rose byrne! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: portion of jimmy kimmel live were brought to you by --
♪ baby, why don't you just maremeet me in the middle ♪ ♪ in the middle ♪ so pull me closer ♪ why don't you pull me close ♪ ♪ why don't you come on over ♪ ♪ i can't just let you go ♪ ♪ oh baby ♪ i'm losing my mind just a little ♪ ♪ so why don't you just meet me in the middle ♪ ♪ middle join t-mobile today, and get an unlimited family plan with netflix included. wow. plus, when you buy an iphone, get an iphone for your bff on us. i like it. all on america's best unlimited network.
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she could... in a commercial. in real life she uses it to pay her sister, from her couch, for that sweater she stained. what sweater? (phone buzzes) life, lived michaela's way. chase. make more of what's yours. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi there, welcome back to the show. coming up oscar nominee from "the shape of water" will be here, and this is their single called tattoo how about you, in real life from the mercedes-benz stage. tomorrow we'll have ellen pompeo, and jay pharoah and musical guest elise trouw. joining us next, from brides men
and two x men two and "peter rabbit" opens in theaters next friday. please welcome rose byrne! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very good to see you. >> nice to see you. >> been a long time since you were here. >> been many years, yeah. funny last time i came on the show i got into a bit of trouble. >> jimmy: from who? >> well i was broke at the time living out here and i had rented a car from rent-a-wreck. >> jimmy: nice you were living it up. >> yeah. no air-conditioning. yeah. didn't get much work because i was sweating all the time. i think i spoke dispair adjectivingly about the car on
the show and got a letter from them. even though they're advertising it's a wreck. >> jimmy: that is the name. >> wasn't leading anyone up the wrong pang. >> jimmy: so did they threaten to sue you. >> they just were hurt. they were hurt. their disposition was they were in a lot of pain about it. their feelings were really hurt. i felt a little confused to be honest it's rent a wreck. >> jimmy: did you write them back. >> i remained silent. i didn't want to get deported. >> jimmy: did you apologize. >> i'm sorry i hurt your feelings. >> jimmy: they didn't come reposses the can festiva. >> no they didn't take the car. >> jimmy: you and your significant other have two kids you just had a boy.
>> a boy yeah. >> jimmy: how old is he now. >> he's little, three months old. >> jimmy: really little. >> yeah. >> jimmy: so is he behaving himself. >> he's pretty fiery. gets jade up pretty quickly like he'll be chilled out and will be like ra r. we're like oh, my god. the other boy is pretty chilled out. >> jimmy: how old is rocco. >> he's two. >> jimmy: nice age difference. >> pretty great. >> jimmy: does the baby look more like one of you than the other. >> the baby you know it's weird he looks a little like jeff sessions. >> jimmy: the attorney general of the united states? >> yes. >> jimmy: why, what parts of his face look like jeff sessions. >> it's not like that more like he has this expression like that quizical look that jeff sessions has. [ laughter ]
>> jimmy: oh, yeah there he is. >> that's what your son looks like huh. >> with the little ears. he's never going to forgive me. >> jimmy: he does look like he needs a diaper change. hopefully he grows out of that. >> we love him he's gorgeous. >> jimmy: how is bobby doing. >> he's good, good. sends his best. >> jimmy: he seems like a really great guy. >> a lot of fun. two kids under two. >> jimmy: you brought your parents here tonight. >> i did. my dad's hoping to get a new car. >> jimmy: a brand new 1992 festiva. oh, those are your parents. where you guys from? where do you live now? >> in tazmanian. >> jimmy: now i want to give you a warning, you are sitting next to some people who, i feel like we've done you a disservice, these people own a fence company.
been part of the family for years and they have dmo fence. they have a big lot and i dog. . you guys didn't you say your dad lives on a garlic form. >> jimmy: yes they have a property in tazmanian and dad has a garlic farm just planted 75 new bulbs. >> is that a lot? doesn't seem like that many. >> it's pathetic. >> jimmy: and are you a garlic lover in general. >> oh, yeah i like garlic yes. >> jimmy: is it some of the best garlic in tazmanian. >> it's very well received. >> jimmy: oh, it is. >> yeah. >> yeah there's a competition in hobart, the can capital of tazi,it's a garlic kpetic. >> we have one of those
competitions in g gilroy, the whole town smells like garlic. does your husband smell like garlic. >> i do as well. >> and we give it to friends. >> jimmy: we're going to take a break. the movie is called "peter rabbit." rose byrne is here. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ what happens now...
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checking out the new neighbor. that's nice. very normal. that's not very normal is it? that's normal. they're not all bad. promise. i'll explain it to him we don't share our land around here. i'll give him the benefit of the doubt. >> that's rose byrne in "peter rabbit" opens on friday. when you are doing that scene obviously those aren't real rabbits the are there puppets
next to you. >> like a variety of things they use. a blue ball. >> jimmy: okay. >> like a tennis ball. there's a man phil in a blue suit. >> jimmy: phil. >> and then there was nothing. >> jimmy: and nothing. >> which is the best, the ball, phil or nothing. >> phil was a good sport. he had to do a lot of pretty uncomfortable stuff. >> jimmy: what did phil have to do. >> you know poor phil just like running, jumping, rolling, a lot of very extrenous activity. >> jimmy: would he be considered a stunt man. >> definitely. stunt man. rabbit man. very sophisticated. >> jimmy: does phil get invited to the premier. >> i hope so he should be given his tus. he's in australia, hi phil. >> jimmy: you do the voice of one of the animals as well. >> i did. >> jimmy: did you do is it in a
different voice. >> yeah she was history like this the whole time. maniacal. >> jimmy: does your son know, is he aware he's about to see his mom talking to animals. >> he doesn't really know what's going on but he's really into "batman". >> jimmy: really? >> yeah he likes the dark night. >> jimmy: so that's his thing. >> batman's his jam. >> jimmy: maybe phil they could put him in the scene and stick batman in there for a while just for the kid. >> i hope so. he's obsessed. batman, batman, batman, tha that's all he does. >> jimmy: i did that too until i was 38 but i'm over it. really proud of myself. >> really captured the imagination. >> jimmy: well it's great to have you here. rose byrne everybody. "peter rabbit" opens on friday.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: we're back to the show. our next guest makes everything he is in better, like bacon except it's movies his next moreovery is called "the shape of water" and he's in for best supporting actor too. >> do you know what happened to you because i don't. i look in the mirror and only thing i recognize is these eyes and this old man's face. sometimes i think i was either born too early or too late for my life. >> the "the shape of water" is in theetd aters now, please wel richard jenkins! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
>> real pleasure to have you here. >> great to be here. >> jimmy: you were fantastic in that movie. you've been in so many movie. >> yeah. >> jimmy: how many do no he? >> about a thousand. >> jimmy: let me run through some titles, something about mary, eat pray love, step brothers, burn after reading, silverado,witches of east brook -- on and on -- i made fou four of those up. >> but i auditioned for all those. >> jimmy: you auditioned for those. do you do a lot of auditions because you live in rhode island. >> i did. >> jimmy: you don't have to audition any more right. >> there was a time i lived in rhode island and they would call you to new york to read when they had the regular train took about four hours on a good day five maybe. >> jimmy: and you just go in for the audaudition. >> you go in walk in and say
freeze, thank you, and back five hours on the train. >> jimmy: well it paid off. it worked out. what do people recognize you for most. >> depends on the age. "step brothers" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and do people give you the -- >> yeah it happened three days ago. guy said to me, do i -- i know you right. i so no. yeah, no,no i know you. i so no you don't. i said okay i'm an actor. he said oh, yeah, no,no,i saw you on tv no you're a supporting actor [ laughter ] he had a point. >> jimmy: he did. not just a supporting actor best supporting actor [ cheers and applause ] so you never lived out here in l.a.? >> i came out here and lived here for about a year and got this part of my anatomy handed
to me. >> jimmy: how old were you at the time. >> i was about 32 or 3. >> jimmy: you decided to make a serious go at it out here and didn't go well. >> it was the most depressing time of my life. >> jimmy: do you think the casting directors are embarrassed for passing on you. do you see those people. >> embarrassment is not a big thing out here. [ laughter ] they actually had a thing where you would pay to audition and you would, $35 you would bring 15 resumes put them down you would go out and casting director would be on their lunch break and, it was gophers and secretaries so you go out and audition and if they are interested they take your picture. so i audition, everybody auditions, i come out, everybody's pictures are gone all 15 of mine are there.
>> at least take it to pretend. >> so i was koucounting them i d i think i brought 16. >> jimmy: this is great. should work that into your oscar speech that's really disheartening. >> i know i didn't mean to dishearten you. >> jimmy: so you are in this movie "the shape of water" it has 13 nominations toro seems to be a great director and person as well but what i wonder is you read the plot of this movie. it's explained to you, if has to be somebody like guillermo del toro or you're not doing it right. >> i don't think anybody could explain it.
the script was just hilarious. >> jimmy: what was it like working with him as director. >> first couple days i did a scene and i asked him to change it up and he said fine, fine. so i did it again. said okay, just great, do you want to shoot again to cover different way in case you don't like it. he goes, richard, we are not that kind of men. we make a decision, we stick with it. >> jimmy: really? >> and about two minutes later comes backs and says i think we shoot it again. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: maybe we are that kind of man. i think to be a real man you have to sometimes change your decisions. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: in the movie, this
doesn't spoil anything you eat a lot of pie, what kind of pie was it. >> it was not pie. >> jimmy: but the pie in the movie was supposed to be bad was it bad? >> yes i actually wiped my tongue in one scene. >> jimmy: why did you? >> taste that pie and you will know why. necessi they brought it out on the first day and said, you can eat it. >> jimmy: that can't be good. did they buy from a local guy. >> the color wasn't green enough. >> jimmy: he likes green stuff his actors and the pie. >> and actors after the pie. >> jimmy: turn green as well. well thank you so much for being here. bhe best of luck i'll see you on the oscars march 4th here on abc, richard jenkins everybody be right back with musical guest in real life.
>> announcer: "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz the best or nothing. >> jimmy: i want to thank rose byrne and richard jenkins apologized to matt damon. "nightline" is next but first with their single tattoo, in real life. ♪ ♪ called you up this time i thought i'd be your shelter you left me standing at your door ♪ ♪ kept you off my mind last weekend but it felt worse now i'm back outside once more ♪ ♪ 'cause i like the rhythms you play melodies making me sway wanted some more ♪ ♪ we were the talk of the day should've been up on the stage not on the floor ♪ ♪ something just pulled you
away happened in front of my face what's all of this for i'm still feeling the same ♪ ♪ how 'bout you you 'cause i miss the stupid things that we do ooh how bout you you ♪ ♪ 'cause i hate to have to change this tattoo too ♪ ♪ yeah i like the rhythms you play melodies making me sway wanted some more ♪ ♪ we were the talk of the day should've been up on the stage how 'bout you you ♪ ♪ cause i miss the stupid things that we do ooh ♪ ♪ always seem to have a question for your answers how could you act so carelessly aye ♪ ♪ your reasons don't add up you're such a little actor see i give you all my thoughts for free yeah ♪ ♪ 'cause i like the rhythms you play melodies making me
sway wanted some more ♪ ♪ we were the talk of the day should've been up on the stage not on the floor ♪ ♪ something just pulled you away happened in front of my face what's all of this for i'm still feeling the same ♪ ♪ how 'bout you you 'cause i miss the stupid things that we do oh how bout you you ♪ ♪ 'cause i hate to have to change this tattoo too yeah i like the rhythms you play melodies making me sway ♪ ♪ wanted some more we were the talk of the day should've been up on the stage how bout you how 'bout you you ♪ ♪ 'cause i miss the stupid things that we do ooh ♪ ♪ uh cuttin' all my distractions no tats cause baby i don't want no attachments ♪ ♪ maybe this is perfect and i'm overreacting or maybe i'm just missing something i never had yet ♪ ♪ how 'bout you you really think that we could work
together but if it don't last you're gonna hurt forever ♪ ♪ you say maybe we should give it a chance cancel our plans i really hope that you understand it's like ♪ ♪ called you up this time i thought i'd be your shelter you left me standing at your door ♪ ♪ kept you off my mind last weekend but it felt worse now i'm back outside once more ♪ ♪ how 'bout you you 'cause i miss the stupid things that we do ooh i miss the stupid things that we do ♪ ♪ how 'bout you you 'cause i hate to have to change this tattoo too ♪ ♪ yeah i like the rhythms you play melodies making me sway wanted some more ♪ ♪ we were the talk of the day should've been up on the stage ♪ ♪ how 'bout you how 'bout you you how 'bout you 'cause i miss the stupid things that we do ooh ♪
[ cheers and applause ] >> thank you you're amazing. >> thank you, thank you so much. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hey love what you doing later 'cause i've got a great place to take you i'll be on ♪ ♪ on my best behavior 'cause i want you illuminated there's something 'bout the way your mind works ♪ ♪ it might be how you're looking at the world it's deeper than your looks and your curves ♪ ♪ there's something bout you i can feel it in your heart i can hear it in your tone i can see it in the dark ♪ ♪ even with my eyes closed you're beautiful i can hear it in your words and it feels so good ♪ ♪ it hurts even with my eyes closed you're beautiful i wish you could see what ♪ ♪ see what i'm seeing feel what i'm feeling
i can feel it in your heart i can hear it in your tone ♪ ♪ i can see it in the dark ♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight the three american heroes who saved countless lives taking down an armed terrorist on a french train, now starring in hollywood's version of their story. >> plenty of things to do here, might have to do it. >> how eastwood went to extremes to recreate those terrifying moments. >> we did it on an actual train, same location. >> same amount of blood. >> plus the star of "kill bill" uma thurman saying me too. >> the me too movement spreading faster than the