tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC May 11, 2018 11:35pm-12:37am PDT
i'm dan ashley. >> i'm ama daetz. for all of us >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, bill hader, senator cory booker, this week in unnecessary censorship, and music from rae sremmurd. and now from now on, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. thank you, everybody. i appreciate that. relax, relax. hi, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching it. thank you for coming to it. very nice. what a show we have tonight. starting off as we usually do with a new episode of our
america's most popular daytime soap, "what the hell is happening in washington?" we don't have "scandal" on thursday nights anymore so the president has been working overtime to fill that hole for us. and boy did he deliver the goods this week. we have a new new bombshell in the stormy daniels hush investigation thanks to former new york mayor and current donald trump lawyer rudy giuliani. this is really something. you remember how last month, a reporter on air force one asked trump if he knew about the $130,000 payment his lawyer, michael cohen, made to stormy daniels to keep her quiet about the affair they didn't have, and he said he didn't know about it. [ laughter ] well, now he did know about it. [ laughter ] and remember how michael cohen said he used his own money to make that payment, was never reimbursed by donald trump? well, now he was reimbursed by donald trump. [ laughter ] rudy giuliani took to the warm confines of fox news last night to contradict just about every claim his client has made on this subject, with a revelation that took even sean hannity by surprise.
>> that money was not campaign money. sorry, i'm giving you a fact now that you don't know. it's not campaign money. no campaign finance violation. >> they funneled it through the law firm? >> funneled it through the law firm and the president repaid it. >> oh, i didn't know he did. >> jimmy: we didn't know he did either. [ laughter ] the president repaid michael cohen for the hush money he didn't know anything about. which almost makes you think maybe he did know something about it. [ laughter ] and he funneled it, which doesn't sound suspicious. that's how i pay my porn stars too, through a funnel. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] of course this raises a lot of questions. including what did the president know and when did he know it? these are questions sean hannity didn't bother to ask but it didn't matter because rudy was on a roll. >> you know the president didn't know about this? i believe that's what michael cohen said -- >> he didn't know about the
specifics of it, as far as i know. he did know about the general arrangement, that michael would take care of things like this, like i take care of things like this for my clients. i don't burden them with every single thing that comes along. these are busy people. >> jimmy: if i bothered the president every time i made a six-figure payment to a porn star -- [ laughter ] -- he wouldn't be able to watch fox news 11 hours a day. [ cheers and applause ] and then giuliani woke up early for "fox and friends" where ainsley earhart wondered maybe, just maybe, someone in the story might be telling a lie. >> something that did stand out to me, i remember when michael cohen was interviewed about it, it seemed like he was saying that he was never reimbursed that $130,000, now it sounds like the story's changing. >> he -- he was definitely reimbursed, there's no doubt about it. >> why did he say he wasn't? >> maybe -- maybe -- >> jimmy: maybe -- [ laughter ] maybe hiring me to be donald trump's lawyer was a bad idea?
i don't know? by the end of the week, rudy giuliani is going to implicate trump in the lincoln assassination. [ laughter ] what i think -- i thought about this. what i think is happening here is this. because they can't be this dumb. they just can't be this dumb. so they know the prosecutors have the files from the raid on michael cohen's office that prove trump paid cohen this money. they know that information's going to come out. so they send giuliani to hannity land to say, yes, he paid cohen the money back, as if trump hasn't been saying, i didn't pay that money, all along. when the evidence does come out proving trump did pay off a porn star they'll say, right, that's what he said, he paid her, we said that. then we'll all move on to the next thing. [ laughter ] [ applause ] meanwhile, rudy giuliani has been all over fox and you know he's excited because he's got a major case of crazy eyes going. >> i have the indignity -- i don't have an explanation for the people that he hired -- a patriot, and fortunately at the founding fathers thought about -- i believe that by
comey -- i think jay and i will insist -- did he execute? you're a criminal, you should go to jail. the president of the united states walked out. a little hard to believe. decent people. margin for paying taxes. and subpoenaed. no government misconduct! wow. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: not as big as his eyes will be when trump fires him next month. i think the real loser isn't the president or michael cohen or rudy giuliani, it's white house distress secretary sarah huckabee sanders, who has to go out there and defend this nonsense to the press. on this one, at least, she seems to have been caught totally off guard. >> when did you specifically know that the president repaid mr. cohen for the $130,000? you personally? >> the first awareness i had was during the interview last night. [ laughter ]
>> jimmy: things are running like a well-boiled machine. [ laughter ] today in case you didn't know, is the national day of prayer. president trump kicked it off with a bunch of tweets about the a porn star, then welcomed about 200 religious leaders to the white house for a national day of prayer event, at which vice president pence delivered a speech that i think sums things up very well. >> you know, the sweetest words the president and i ever hear are the words, "i'm praying for you." and we hear it a lot. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i bet you do. you'll be hearing it a lot more. this ought to cheer the president up. a group of 18 house republicans yesterday formally nominated him for the nobel peace prize. [ laughter ] they sent a letter to the nobel committee, this is a real letter
not a joke, "we can think of no one more deserving of the committee's recognition in 2019 than president trump for his tireless work to bring peace to our world." [ laughter ] really? no one? [ laughter ] there must be someone. keep thinking. because you really have to hand it to these guys. the president is the subject of multiple investigations involving sex, payoffs, hush money, collusion with a hostile foreign government, and their response is? let's get this man a medal! the nobel prize! [ cheers and applause ] and i'd like to take a moment now to acknowledge the brave 18 men and women who had the courage to nominate trump for this honor. there they are. these are people who believe trump should get the nobel prize for peace. which if he did win he would probably melt down to make a gold toilet handle. [ laughter ] trump says if he doesn't win the peace prize, the nobel committee will be met with fire and fury like the world has never seen. [ laughter ] i don't know if there's a nobel prize for fashion. but if there is, we may have a contender locally. this is a new designer. new designer jean here in los
angeles that could soon sweep this nation. these are called extreme cutout jeans. because almost all the denim has been cut out of the jeans. they're like the skeletons of jeans. and look at this, they're essentially the denim version of kylie jenner's instagram page. [ laughter ] they're for sale for the low, low price of $168. which seems reasonable. [ laughter ] or for $125, they'll sell you no jeans at all. [ laughter ] and you know, while these might look crazy from the front and side, from the back, they're a lot more traditional. [ laughter ] and by the way, you can't even get these, they're sold out. [ laughter ] where would you even keep your phone in a situation like this? [ laughter ] now i don't know who's buying these. but the jeans are stupid. and the people wearing them are probably stupid too. but the people who designed them, i'm actually grateful to whoever that is and i'll tell you why. these terrible jeans are
important, because even though we're living in a previously unimaginably crazy time in the history of this country, thanks to these ridiculous pants, i just went a full two minutes without mentioning the president. [ laughter ] that's right. i never thought it would happen again. [ cheers and applause ] for 120 blissful seconds, i didn't say the words "donald" or "trump." today my writers got to write jokes about something silly and harmless, and you, the american people, got to relax, laugh, and for a few precious, fleeting moments not think about the fact that we're all on a cruise being steered by a crazed orange maniac into a place called hell. [ cheers and applause ] so are these pants dumb? yeah. they're dumb. they might be the dumbest pants ever made. but are they also doing a service for this country? you bet your completely visible ass they are. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] so i say, on behalf of all of us, thanks, extreme cutout
jeans, for allowing us a rare moment of -- [ cheers and applause ] for this we salute you. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ we have to take a break. when we come back, we will chat with the young man, a young man who has been attacked by a snake, a shark, and a bear. he is here, and that's next. so stick around, we'll be right back. clshz clshz
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cory booker is here, and we'll be right back with bill hader. first it's time to meet one of the luckiest and unluckiest people in the united states. in the past three years he's been attacked by every animal on noah's ark. he joins us to share his harrowing tales. dylan, how are you doing? >> good, how are you? >> jimmy: doing well, thank you very much. you look good, you look okay. let's start with september 2015. you're hiking. and what happens? during that hike? >> i was in moab. i was walking along. and i thought i kicked a cactus. i looked down. and i saw a coiled-up rattlesnake. it didn't even rattle, nothing. luckily it gave me a dry bite and i didn't get very sick. i did throw up once but i ended up hiking out. >> jimmy: is a dry bite when there's no poison in its mouth? >> yeah. 60% of rattlesnake bites are dry bites. >> jimmy: oh, all right. that happened to you, and you survived that, obviously. then last july you're camping in colorado.
and you're sleeping, right? sleeping out in the woods? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: and what happens? >> i woke up at 4:00 in the morning to a crunch. the bear had my head and was dragging me out of my sleeping bag. tossing me around a little bit. i just started poking the eyes, punching the face. it dropped me and i was able to crawl back and wake the people up that i was with -- >> jimmy: you literally poked the bear. [ laughter ] >> yes. >> jimmy: in the eye. is that what you're supposed to do when a bear is biting you? >> i don't know, but that's what i did. >> jimmy: there are a lot of very gruesome photos of this. but this one is reasonably -- i mean, this is serious. this is no joke. so then do you go to the hospital? or were you out in the middle of nowhere? >> i was -- it took the ambulance 45 minutes to get to me. then another 45 minutes down to the hospital. so i was there a little while. >> jimmy: wow. so now tell us what happened two weeks ago in hawaii. i was surfing.
i was paddling out. i was so excited. i caught one wave. the waves were good. i was going out to get another one. i felt something hit my leg. i start looking around and there's blood in the water. i felt some pain. started looking around. there's a six, seven-foot tiger shark underneath me. and i was like, holy smokes, i just got bit by a shark. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: have you considered the possibility that maybe you're delicious? [ laughter ] >> i don't know, could be. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have photos of the shark attack too. again, you really -- this is no little thing. how bad -- how much does that hurt? >> i mean -- it didn't hurt right away. but afterwards, it hurt pretty good. i mean, i had stitches. it was pretty deep. luckily it didn't hit tendons or ligaments or nothing so i got lucky again. >> jimmy: how was your hawaii trip otherwise? >> it was great. i went to the same place a couple of days later.
>> jimmy: someone calculated the odds of you being attacked by all three of these dangerous animals. what are those odds? >> "national geographic" said the odds of it happening to 1 person were 893 quadrillion to 1. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: are you in your house permanently now? do you go outside anymore? >> no, definitely not. i'm like, i'll be back out living on the edge, pushing everything to the limit, like living the crazy adventurous life. >> jimmy: wow, you will not rest until you are attacked by every animal on the planet. [ laughter ] well, thank you, dylan. i hope -- if this doesn't get you a show on like animal planet or something, i don't know if sen anything will. >> i know, i'm hoping it does. >> jimmy: all right, all right. dylan mcwilliams from colorado. [ cheers and applause ]
ridiculous. all right. one more thing before we forge ahead. it's thursday night, means it's time to bleep and blur the big moments from tv this week whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary censorship." [ cheers and applause ] >> when the president of france came in to see me, president macron, wonderful guy, emanuel. we like [ bleep ]ing each other's [ bleep ]. >> full disclosure, everything. rudy giuliani and i once [ bleep ]ed together, okay. >> it could also be that giuliani prefers the taste of his own [ bleep ] in his mouth. >> how [ bleep ]? sometimes that can be a little stiff. >> what is the dirtiest part of your [ bleep ]? there's a new study, might surprise you. >> [ bleep ], [ bleep ] you see me. if you're not going to [ bleep ] me in my [ bleep ] till you see me, shut up. >> buffalo's micro brew, big [ bleep ] brewing company. >> [ bleep ] black [ bleep ] -- >> is it okay to [ bleep ] your
dog in the mouth? i'm just asking. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight on the show, we have music from rae sremmurd, senator cory booker is here, and we'll be right back with bill hader. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ but does psoriasis ever get in the way? embrace the chance of 100% clear skin with taltz. up to 90% of those with moderate to severe psoriasis had a significant improvement of their psoriasis plaques. most people were still clearer after one year. with taltz, 4 out of 10 even achieved completely clear skin. don't use if you're allergic to taltz. before starting, you should be checked for tuberculosis. taltz may increase risk of infections and lower your ability to fight them. tell your doctor if you have an infection, symptoms, or received a vaccine or plan to. inflammatory bowel disease can happen with taltz, including worsening of symptoms. serious allergic reactions can occur. ready for a chance at 100% clear skin? ask your doctor about taltz.
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>> jimmy: welcome back to the show. tonight, a united states senator, from the state of new jersey. senator cory booker is here. then their new album is called, "sremm life three," rae sremmurd from the mercedes-benz outdoor stage. next week on the show, melissa mccarthy will be here. woody harrelson, young han solo alden ehrenreich will be with us, as will young lando calrissian donald glover, from the dodgers cody bellinger, from "roseanne" sara gilbert, as well as luke bryan, bazzi with angelique kidjo and two chains
featuring offset and yg. so that's all next week. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest tonight is a writer, director and man of a thousand voices, and tonight, he will do them all. all 1,000 of them. his critically-acclaimed new show is called "barry." watch it sunday nights on hbo. please welcome bill hader. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> nice group. >> jimmy: yeah, they're nice people. >> a nice group. hello. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you look very sharp. >> thank you. i know. i decided to dress up for you, jimmy. >> jimmy: you look nice. >> i get nervous. i get nervous when i see you. i want to look nice for you, man. >> jimmy: have you ever been attacked by an animal? in the wild? >> no. but when i was -- i used to work -- work. i used to live in this place in
l.a. that had like the -- you know, the washer and dryer in the back, that was in like this little shed. and it didn't have a light. it just had a little bucket with a flashlight in it. and i would go out there late at night. to do my laundry. and then i would turn the flashlight on and you'd hear -- and i'd look over and right over by the dryer, you see a possum tail. and i was like, ha, ha, all right, [ bleep ] it! [ laughter ] i just wore dirty clothes all the time. 2000 to 2006, dirty clothes. >> jimmy: aside from the wildlife, what was your apartment like? was it a nice place? >> no! [ laughter ] it was an efficiency. they didn't even call it, you know, a studio. it was like you open the door and it was just -- the far wall was right there. it was terrible. >> jimmy: was it in a bad neighborhood? >> it was an awful neighborhood, westwood. [ light laughter ]
>> jimmy: you're lucky to be alive. >> rough. it was so hard. those ucla students are so mean. >> jimmy: especially on thursday nights, oh my goodness. >> not enough movie theaters. i was terrified. >> jimmy: did you live by yourself? >> yes, i lived by myself. that's why i was so scared. >> jimmy: i know everybody always asks you to do impressions. i'm sure that's annoying. >> yes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i have a little something i want to throw at you. >> oh, brother. >> jimmy: you do a lot of impression a lot of people do, then you do them better than other people. like arnold schwarzenegger. >> yeah, thanks. >> jimmy: those kind of things. >> yeah. >> jimmy: al pacino. i'm not asking you to do them. what i would like you to do is to think, dip as deep into your bag as you can for the most obscure impression that you do. maybe even someone we have never heard of. >> that will be fun, you guys. [ laughter ]
no, you know what? do you remember -- a guy on "dateline." you remember keith morrison? >> jimmy: yes, i do. >> i love "dateline." do you watch "dateline"? [ cheers and applause ] it's my favorite show, i love true crime shows. keith morrison has that folksy way of talking. he's like, you saw your father shot in the face. [ laughter ] that must have been wild. [ laughter ] the other people on that i love, josh mankiewicz. he's the best because he kind of has the -- kind of like a stuffy nose. he's always in aruba. it's like the guy killed someone in cabo san lucas, that's mine! like he always gets the best. then he always says, you could have a drinking game with this, every time he'll do this. most people, when they find a
dead body in their house, they call 911. you didn't do that, did you? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i'll be driving around my car going, you didn't do that, did you? i do it with my kids now. you didn't clean your room, did you? then the other guy's dennis murphy. the guy, he has dennis murphy -- dennis murphy has this real kind of sing-song way of talking. but he always gets things -- he's like an old kind of news reporter, he always gets stories about like young kids. like murdering each other or something. so he'll be like, katie and cara were bffs. he goes, they had just bought the new album that just dropped and they were smoking kush and twerking. just trying to fit in. he's like, their lols quickly turned to wtfs.
>> jimmy: wow. >> thank you. >> jimmy: well done. >> right off the top of my head. >> jimmy: those of the best "dateline" impressions i've heard. >> i know, i'm so glad i could do them here. lester holt's the other guy. lester holt introduces the show. it's weird. he's like, i'm lester holt, i introduce the people introducing the show. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i guess we're supposed to feel like lester's the host, even though he's there for 12 seconds -- >> it's not the news, relax. >> jimmy: isn't it weird that lester still has to do that gig? >> yeah, he starts to leave, whoa, whoa, lester, no, no, no, where you going, buddy? you got to go against this brick wall, you need to talk about the murdered people. >> jimmy: do your kids do impressions? do you do them for them? >> oh, yeah, they love keith morrison. my kids -- yeah. my kids don't like -- they don't like when it they hear me like
an animated movies, they want to know when i'm not in it. i went and took my daughters to see "finding dory." i'm in the first scene of that. i'm kind of like looking at them. and i come up. and my middle daughter, harper, stood up and walked right out of the theater. [ laughter ] and i was like, what? i went out. she's 4. she was like, did we not have that conversation? [ laughter ] what's wrong with you, man? i remember it, do you remember it? >> jimmy: no surprises. >> i would think the same thing. i always say, if i was watching "star wars" and my dad showed up in the millennium falcon, i'd be terrified. hi, han, bill senior. bill senior, hi. han, chewy. hi, how are you, bill senior. >> jimmy: bill hader is here. his show is called "barry" on hbo. we'll be right back. having mplaque psoriasise is not always easy.
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this big cliff hanger. >> jimmy: very abruptly. >> yeah, very abruptly, big cliffhanger. the episode comes up sunday. that's my favorite episode of the season. >> the best one. >> it's my favorite one. >> jimmy: your favorite, okay. >> i like bad things. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: who decided to name the show "barry"? >> i think it was -- oh, man. i think it was hbo. >> jimmy: really. >> you know, like you start to name stuff and it turns into like "hit your mark," "follow your fuse," know what i mean? so, can you just call it "barry" and we can make posters and get this ball rolling? >> jimmy: naming your character barry, thinking about it, no one i know has named their child barry in a really long time. >> yes, it's not a name -- even the doctors, if you said put barry, they'll be you want to take a minute? [ laughter ] no, we like barry. >> jimmy: you have a very strong supporting cast on the show, including henry winkler. >> yeah, the best.
>> jimmy: for me, henry winkler, he was on my lunch box going to school every day. you're younger than i am so you probably didn't have that. >> way, way younger. [ laughter ] no, i remember him on television. >> jimmy: no, i'm sure you remember him. but it was reruns. >> yeah, way younger. >> jimmy: henry's a very, very nice guy. >> yes. >> jimmy: and almost too nice. >> yes. >> jimmy: and he seems to love being on the show so much. just based on the conversation i had with him. >> yeah, no, he loves it. the funny thing is he didn't watch them, so he's watching them -- he hasn't seen the show. so he's watching them when everyone else is watching them on sundays. so sunday night i'll get a call from him going, bill? oh my gosh! [ laughter ] this is really taking it up a notch! and i'm like, you read the scripts, you're there, you know what's going to happen, henry. he goes, i know, but me and stacy are so nervous.
lovely wife, stacy. i had no idea, you're kind of a son of a gun. you know? i'm like, henry. i'm waiting for him to be like, am i going to be okay? you know it, just stop it. >> jimmy: the show is picked up for a second season, yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i assume he is going to be there. >> yes, of course. >> jimmy: we're all excited. i remember you told me the idea for the show i was like what the hell is going on? i heard "barry," i was like, oh, no, this is a disaster. >> terrible, don't do this. >> jimmy: but it all worked out. bill hader, everybody. "barry" airs sunday nights at 10:30 on hbo. we'll be right back with senator cory booker. happiness is powerful flea and tick protection from nexgard. nexgard kills fleas and ticks all month long. and it comes in an easy-to-give tasty chew. and that makes dogs and owners happy. no wonder vets love it too. reported side effects include vomiting, itching, diarrhea,
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because antonio villaraigosa millions got it done.healthcare he defended women's healthcare, banned military-style assault weapons, banned workplace discrimination, and more. antonio for governor. >> jimmy: still to come, music from rae schmmerd. our next guest escaped from washington dc while the president was rage-sleeping to be here. he represents the state of new jersey in the u.s. senate. please welcome senator cory booker! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
so much more muscular than i imagined you would be in person. >> i appreciate you saying that. >> jimmy: what brings you to our fair city? >> i'm the son of an angelino. my mom was born in detroit. my mom went to high school here, i have a lot of family here. i also came out here for a conference. getting a chance to talk to people about policy issues. >> jimmy: do you stay with the family when you're here? >> i stay in a hotel. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is the family excited by your success and the fact that you're a senator? >> i have a family that you don't -- you keep people focused on what's important. >> jimmy: oh, really. >> oh my gosh. when i was growing up my father -- i'd go to college, graduate school, law school. my father's like, you got more degrees than the month of july, boy, but you ain't hot. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really. >> life's not about the degrees you get, it's about the service you give, when are you going to show us you're doing something? >> jimmy: that's your dad, was your mom nurturing? >> my mom has a saying, behind every successful child is an astonished parent. [ laughter ]
[ cheers and applause ] she's like, this is the guy i couldn't get to make his bed and mow the lawn. >> jimmy: yeah, i guess that would be weird. >> my parents were not impressed. i had a lot of -- the most overrated high school football player perhaps ever, high school football all-american, joke the i got into stanford on 14.0 receiving yards. other friends, you come home, mom, i made the all-state team. my mom would go, but you got a b-plus in chemistry. bring that up. they were very tough on me. >> jimmy: boy, that is tough, wow. how long have you been in the senate? >> five years. >> jimmy: five years. so what's it like -- do they haze you when you get in? is there anything like that? >> orrin hatch made me carry his bags around. patrick leahy, i'd bring him coffee in the morning. >> jimmy: nothing like that, though? >> nothing like that at all. in fact, it's far more than you
would think about our politics, it's actually far more collegial. i've had some of the more beautiful moments. bill bradley, who was sort of my hero, the former basketball player and senator from new jersey when i was growing up, gave me really good advice. one of the things was, he said, go down there and go out to dinner with republican colleagues. find time to get together with them in their office. it led to some of the best experiences i've had. it was funny having dinner with ted cruz. we had to first agree on a restaurant. i'm a vegan, he's from texas where they threaten vegans. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they eat vegans. >> probably. he and i having dinner together, he and i were cracking up. people would stumble past our table looking at us. i invented the word stealthy, because people would work pictures, it was trending on social media. >> jimmy: that would be crazy to see. now you guys would never have dinner together now, right? those days are over? >> they are definitely not over. >> jimmy: they are not over? >> no, no. it's a shame. i went to john mccain's office in that first year.
>> jimmy: right. >> it was one of the more profound things. you suddenly realize when you see pictures of him as a soldier literally his lifeless-looking body being carried out when he crashed in vietnam. >> jimmy: right. >> literally you're choking up as he's walking through his career. it strips away the partisanship and you begin to see the public servant. >> jimmy: he's a great man, yeah, he is. >> it's a tough -- i tell the tale of the two hugs. because when john mccain got this terrible cancer diagnosis, he returned to the senate floor. and i remember crossing the senate floor, crossing the aisle in front of the c-span cameras to give him a hug. and 24 people saw me because it was c-span. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: right, if that. >> maybe 25, my mom. she wouldn't admit it. >> jimmy: mom's going, hug harder! >> i get home that night, getting beat up by people on my side of the aisle, twitter, other places, how could you hug that person? same thing when i watched the republican presidential primaries. i was really upset when i watched a republican primary
candidate pillorying chris christie, the governor of my state. i can write a dissertation on our disagreements. but he and i would get together and say, we disagree, where do we agree? find common ground and build from there. i watched him getting pilloried for the sin of hugging barack obama. >> jimmy: right. >> he hugged him when -- the two of them hugged, it wasn't that great of a hug, it was one of those awkward male hugs, you don't know what to do with your hands. but how we got to the point in america where we are vilifying fellow americans that even human contact with each other is considered a betrayal of your tribe or your party or your group. >> jimmy: yes, we have. >> that's the case, then we all need to understand that this is -- there's an old african saying, if you want to go fast, go alone. if you want to go far, go together. this nation has gotten far because of our ability to work together, to partner, to cooperate. i love the ideals of rugged individuals and self-reliance.
but rugged individuals didn't get us to the moon. didn't map the human genome. didn't overcome jim crow. didn't build the national highway system under eisenhower. these are things we did together and we'll have to get back to that. >> jimmy: will you hug president trump when you see him? i don't know if you heard because you've been away. since you've been gone from washington, president trump do the got nominated for a nobel prize. [ laughter ] >> i heard about that. >> jimmy: can you think of anyone -- >> i never heard a nobel chant at a political rally before. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, that happened. is that something you will support? add your name to that list when it comes to the senate? >> this is the thing is, you can disagree with somebody, you can angrily disagree with them. but you can never let them or even their behavior pull you down so low as to hate them. i still remember the first time donald trump tweeted at me meanly. >> jimmy: yeah, we have that tweet. let's take a look at it. if cory booker is the future of the democratic party, they have
no future. i know more about cory than he knows about himself. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: is that true? >> i didn't know we were that close. >> jimmy: wouldn't that be weird. i know your middle name! i know what you're doing at night! >> stop hanging out with ben and jerry! but no, i literally -- the next day -- that tweet came after my speech at the democratic national convention. so the next morning i'm getting up early, dragged on to cnn, chris cuomo sets it up, here's donald trump's mean tweet. i think i caught cuomo off guard when he said, what do you have to say? and i said, what i have to say in response, i love you, donald trump, i don't want you to be my president, but i will never let you -- never let your mean words pull me so low as to hate you. i'll do everything i can to stop you from being president but i will never, ever hate you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: really.
>> darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. hate can't drive out hate, only love can do that. patriotism is love of country. you cannot love your country unless you love your fellow countrymen and women. we don't have to always like each other and get along. but love -- we sort of rhetorically reduce the power of that word. love says, i see you, i hear you, i know your worth and value, i know my destiny is interwoven with yours. i know if your children do bad in school because we underfund public education, then my kids are going to suffer. i know if your kids don't get good health care, they might not achieve their destiny and i will suffer from that. we are in this together. we've got to know this point in american society, and i get upset, people saying, we're a nation of tolerance. i don't want to be a nation of tolerance. i tolerated the cold i had. tolerance says i'm stomaching your right to be different. if you disappear off the face of the earth, we're no better or worse off. our founders called us to a higher level than that. the thing they understood at the
end of the declaration of independence, they speak up love. if you read those words at the end of that great, great document, they say, we in this country, if we're going to make it, we need to mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes, our sacred honor. if you don't like the climate of this country, if there's too much hate, then generate more love. if there's too much meanness, find ways to be more kind with your fellow americans. not just the ones that pray like you, look like you. break out, reach out, remind people this country was not founded because we're all alike, it was founded by a whole bunch of different folks and the story of this country is overcoming barriers that subjugated people. women, gays, minorities. we're at a point we've got to recognize we need to move beyond tolerance and yet again achieve that sacred honor. other countries are trying to out-america us. we are the united states of america. sen we should be indivisible. we may have differences but join
i support the affordable care act, and voted against all trump's attempts to repeal it. but we need to do more. i believe in universal health care. in a public health option to compete with private insurance companies. and expanding medicare to everyone over 55. and i believe medicare must be empowered to negotiate the price of drugs.
california values senator dianne feinstein >> jimmy: thanks to bill hader, thanks to senator cory booker, apologies to matt damon. this is their album "sremm three." here with the song "power glide," rae sremmurd! ♪ ♪ jimmy kimmel what's up! ♪ ♪ what's in your mug toasted up nah i ain't hosting kush all in my lap ♪ ♪ because these hoes don't want to roll it i was sliding in the lamb with the powerglide ♪ ♪ slime green paint peanut butter inside ♪
♪ she wants to speak up coming out her clothes i'm in wonderland when she coming down the pole ♪ ♪ and i don't care if she take all of mine like it ain't but a dollar sign ♪ ♪ diamonds unthawed coming in froze got too many girls to let one of them go ♪ ♪ when i make a purchase i can't wait to showboat if she bad i put a pinky ring on snow globe ♪ ♪ i'm a have that on lock like po-po she was going up and down like yo-yo ♪ ♪ you can say i'm greedy cause i always want more i don't with holmes cause they with some slow-pokes ♪ ♪ ooh money on monsoon baby girl full moon give these with some money some room ♪ ♪ she don't stop batteries not included ♪ ♪ oh big balling like mutombo much cooler than the cool kids woah ♪ ♪ can you believe every night we do this ♪ ♪ what's in your mug toasted up nah i ain't hosting kush all in my lap ♪ ♪ because these hoes don't want to roll it i was sliding in the
lamb with the powerglide ♪ ♪ slime green paint peanut butter inside ♪ ♪ she wants to speak up coming out her clothes i'm in wonderland when she coming down the pole ♪ ♪ and i don't care if she take all of mine like it ain't but a dollar sign ♪ ♪ hold up i'm a go and spend those hundreds though i don't care if she had a man so man ♪ ♪ kush resolute all my chains whiter than show ♪ ♪ and a be dressing walking around gucci stepping unintentional flexing trying to send out a message ♪ ♪ money walk with the extra shake that -- with your bestie ♪ ♪ seeing stars in the rental got your broad in the rental ♪ ♪ 20k in aod and it's just me and my kinfolk trying to send a girl to college ♪ ♪ i ain't copping no free show ♪ say her birthday late july yeah that means she a leo might just leave with me tonight ♪ ♪ but that don't mean she a freak ho ♪ ♪ with dancers and models shout out them girls who get dollars ♪ ♪ shorty came from the bottom yeah shout out keisha bottoms ♪ ♪ couple cases of rose came out to me with the sparkles ♪
♪ i pour up for all the girls but i'm a drink out the bottles ♪ ♪ what's in your mug toasted up nah i ain't hosting kush all in my lap ♪ ♪ because these hoes don't want to roll it i was sliding in the lamb with the powerglide ♪ ♪ slime green paint peanut butter inside ♪ ♪ she wants to speak up coming out her clothes i'm in wonderland when she coming down the pole ♪ ♪ and i don't care if she take all of mine like it ain't but a dollar sign ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
this is "nightline." tonight, nerves of steel. the pilot and first officer hailed as heros the southwest flight that suffered a mid-air failure. >> were you worried you wouldn't make it? >> and passengers describe the harrowing moment when a woman was pulled halfway out a window. >> tried to pull her in. just couldn't. >> plus, bob woodruff is in china where teens are taking hero worship to another level. creating the real life weapons