tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC June 11, 2018 11:35pm-12:37am PDT
i'm dan ashley. >> i'm ama daetz. jimmy >> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight, from the nba champion golden state warriors, mvp kevin durant, samuel l. jackson, and music from future. and now, for the time being, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, everyone. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming to see us. [ cheers and applause ] welcome. i hope you had a good weekend.
i had a good weekend. you know what i did this weekend? nothing. friday night went home, pulled into the garage, just sat in the car until monday morning. it was really nice. [ laughter ] president trump had an eventful weekend and has a busy week -- he was at the g7 summit in quebec this weekend, where he somehow managed to start an altercation with canada. so the g7's made up of the united states, france, the uk, germany, italy, canada, and japan. and now they're all mad at us. when he left the g7, trump said his relationship with the other leaders was a 10. he rated it a 10. and then a few hours later i guess he didn't like the idea that the prime minister of canada justin trudeau didn't do as he was told, and so trump tweeted, "p.m. justin trudeau of canada acted so meek and mild during our g7 meetings, only to give a news conference after i left saying that u.s. tariffs were kind of insulting and he will not be pushed around. very dishonest and weak. our tariffs are in response to his of 270% on dairy."
bearing in mind that first of all, our dairy trade with canada, it's only about $600 million a year, which is about what it costs for him to play golf every week. [ laughter ] and he justified these new tariffs in the first place by saying our national security was at stake. now he's saying it's because of dairy. how does canadian dairy threaten our national security? are they planning to churn us to death? [ laughter ] are they going to drop cheese curds on us and turn us into poutine? and who has a problem with canada? no one has a problem with canada. it's like picking a fight with nilla wafers. no one does it. it's ridiculous. [ cheers and applause ]
trump also threatened to cut off all trade with the other six nations at the summit. all our closest allies. we would not trade with anymore. german chancellor angela merkel said she found his actions at the summit to be sobering and depressing. and when a german finds you to be sobering and depressing -- [ laughter ] bad news. this is the country that gave us hitler and david hasselhoff. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] there were a lot of great photos over the week. this is a great photograph. all the world leaders there. it got to the point where angela merkel had to threaten trump. she said "no dessert unless you eat all your carrots." [ laughter ] trump also showed up late to a gender equality advisory council breakfast, which didn't go well. oh, look who's here. how did he screw this up? all you have to do at the g7 is show up, shake some hands and take pictures. somehow he wound up pissing everybody off. for whatever reason donald trump seems determined to become friends with our enemies and enemies with our friends. he's in singapore right now. he's scheduled to meet kim jong
un tonight. this was good. when trump arrived in singapore overnight, fox news delivered what might be their most fair and balanced of assessment of this presidency to date. >> this is history. regardless of what happens in that meeting between the two dictators -- >> jimmy: whoops. [ laughter ] that's an ootsy-tootsy right there. [ cheers and applause ] kim jong un arrived in style with a team of bodyguards that run alongside his car. it's fine in the city. on the freeway it's a problem. but why they do this i have no idea. how does that protect him? if there's trouble isn't the car just going to speed away and leave a bunch of sweaty guys in suits jogging? [ laughter ] tonight's meeting will be one on one with a couple of translators, and that's it. trump said he hopes that he and kim jong un like each other. which kim jong un is a brutal dictator who starves his people and murders his political enemies. they're definitely going to like each other. [ laughter ] they might even fall in love.
[ cheers and applause ] my hope is that the summit ends with trump giving kim jong un a rose and kim jong un eating it. [ laughter ] speaking of roses tonight on abc we had a new episode of "the bachelorette." it was a good one, too. the big conflict tonight was between jordan, the male model with a brain full of pudding, and david, the guy who showed up wearing a chicken costume. these two don't like each other. so jordan spent a little bit of time bragging to the other guys about how popular he is on twinder -- on tinder, rather. twinder? that gave me an idea. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] there are a lot of twins. you want to date someone who looks just like you? [ laughter ] anyway, he's been bragging about how popular he is. so david went to becca and threw him under the limousine. >> i've been getting along with most of the guys. jordan is a little bit of an
exception. you know, like he showed up wearing underwear. and you know, that's it. but at the -- >> you showed up wearing a chicken costume. >> i showed up wearing a chicken costume. so i can't -- i'm not one to throw people under the bus. but we were just chatting and he's bragging about his tinder and he's got 4,000 matches and he goes on and on and on like 100% success rate. >> hey, jordan. >> what's up? >> 4,000 matches? >> oh, that's not -- >> that's a good -- come on. >> okay, yeah, thanks. good for you, david. that's a bitch move. you're a bitch. >> jimmy: well, life is a bitch. [ applause ] then jordan, who i'll remind you again is a model and not just any model, a wilhelmina model, laid into david while all the other guys just looked on in delight. >> david, let me tell you something, buddy. if you think you're sending me
home, you're not. >> we'll let becca make the decision. >> i feel sorry for you. you are the skeleton of a man, david. >> oh. the model and the chicken are fighting. [ laughter ] >> your reality is not the same reality as mine. i think you need to chill out, have a drink, and stop talking to me. >> what's the look i'm getting from you right now? is this like the pensive look? is this the clint eastwood? [ laughter ] >> i'm a wilhelmina model. i don't think you know what that means. i have an image. if you're trying to tear down my image and my three-year contract with them, it's actually pretty serious. it's something some people think they're the top. so if you're trying to do that, you're failing at it because guess what, attached to me is professionality, is my face. it's in everything i do. it's in the way i walk and the way that i talk. okay? so if you want to try to wreck my image, you'll never succeed. you know why? because my image is me. hey. cheers to you being a bitch.
>> that was [ bleep ] awesome. >> what the [ bleep ] are we doing here? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what are you doing there? are you on that show? >> guillermo: yeah, i was drinking. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: so that happened. and then a real drama ensued as david, the guy jordan called a bitch, was taken away on a stretcher. they had to call an ambulance to take him to the hospital. why they had to do this we did not know until chris harrison showed up. they had to call him in off the golf course to let becca know what befell him. >> one of your guys was rushed to the hospital, and he's in intensive care. >> wait, what? who is it? >> david.
is who got hurt. >> oh, my god. >> busted nose. busted face. >> oh, my god. who did that? >> he fell out of bed. [ laughter ] and landed on his face. >> jimmy: well, that's a first. that's a new twist. [ applause ] we'd never had a bunk bed injury on the show before. [ laughter ] they might as well just send david home. i don't see becca picking the guy who fell out of bed as the man of her dreams. we have a good show for you tonight. from the nba champion golden state warriors, finals mvp kevin durant is here with us. [ cheers and applause ] the warriors swept the cavaliers on friday, winning their second title in a row. and there's a lot of speculation about what lebron might do next season. he could stay with the cavaliers or he could go to a team that has other players. [ laughter ] they have these big decisions to make.
i would like to see them do the nba finals the way they do "the bachelorette." because now we don't know what lebron's up to. we know what he's thinking. but if they did it "bachelorette" style the series would end more like this. ♪ >> it was just a heartbreaking loss. you know, i let the emotions get the best of me. >> jimmy: i don't know if he was there for the right reasons. [ laughter ] we're going to take a break. when we come back, we pulled a great prank on a warriors fan at the finals in the stadium. and all the details, time, date, tickets, everything for my one-on-one grudge match against senator ted cruz when we come back. so stick around. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: abc's "jimmy kimmel live," brought to you by rocket mortgage by quicken loans. he's saying he's gonna score a bunch of three-pointers on you. yeah, we ball til we fall. there are multiples on the table: one is cash,
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. kevin durant, samuel l. jackson, and music from future is on the way. but first, this weekend a major sporting event this weekend bigger than the nba finals, bigger than the stanley cup. on saturday i will fly to texas on a plane to play senator ted cruz in a game of one-on-one basketball. this will be ted cruz's second most embarrassing loss to a tv host in recent memory. and the reason this is happening is because after game 7 of the western conference finals i likened senator cruz to a blobfish, and he did not like that likening. so he challenged me to a game of one on one. i accepted. and now it's going to happen. saturday in houston at the h&pe arena at texas southern university. and ted cruz, believe it or not, if there's anybody you want to have a beef with it's ted cruz because this is a guy who during the election donald trump
insinuated his wife was ugly and his dad helped kill jfk. so what did ted do to retaliate? he endorsed donald trump for president. that's right. this is a man whose motto is if you can't beat 'em throw away your dignity and grovel before them like a hungry dog. [ laughter ] [ applause ] rest assured no punches will be pulled. when i enter that basketball ring on saturday, tough questions will be asked and we are pulling out all the stops to promote this event. >> this is it! the biggest one-on-one game in basketball history. >> jimmy kimmel. the phenom who dominated shaquille o'neal. >> that's what i do! >> dunked zach randolph. >> oh! >> schooled steph curry on a tricycle and shattered a backboard with one epic monster slam. versus ted cruz. a canadian whose name isn't even ted.
>> you're absolutely right. my name is rafael edward cruz. >> who lost an election to a game show host. >> bing bing. bong bong. >> who doesn't know the word hoop. >> that basketball ring. >> and is way too close to his mommy. >> not a day goes by that my mom is not lifting me up in prayer. >> that's right. >> for hours. at a time. >> it's american versus canadian. baller versus blobfish. kimmel versus cruz. the blobfish basketball classic. saturday june 16th. texas southern university. houston, texas. >> i was a mediocre high school player. i rode the bench an awful lot. >> ted man walking. for tickets go to kimmelvscruz.com. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's right. if you live in houston or near houston and want to be there live, this is your first chance to do that. go to kimmelvscruz.com for more information. you're coming with me, right, guillermo? >> guillermo: that's right, jimmy.
>> jimmy: okay. very good. i mentioned kevin durant is with us tonight. we were in oakland for -- we had a crew up there for games 1 and 2. guillermo was there to get chats with the players. and while we were there we had some fun with a warriors fan. we were in oracle arena, and our goal was to see how long we could keep a fan out of his seat during the fourth quarter. there was about a minute left in the game in regulation. game 1 down to the wire. but this fan couldn't sit down to watch it until he got this right. >> the fourth quarter. the game's almost over. just really quickly if you can, look into the camera and say for me the warriors are full force. >> the warriors are full force. >> for their fourth finals. >> for their fourth finals. >> where the wonderful warriors will win. >> where the wonderful warriors will win. >> wondering if the warriors won't win? we won't won't win, we're the warriors. >> the warriors are full force through the -- >> the wonderful warriors will win. >> wondering if the wonderful warriors won't win? we won't won't win we're the warriors.
>> no, can't do it. >> you're missing the whole game. it's the fourth quarter. it's a one-point game. >> okay, okay. >> boi >> one-point game. let's get this. >> warriors are full force for the fourth final -- >> the wonderful warriors will win. >> where the wonderful warriors will win. >> wondering if the wonderful warriors won't win? they won't won't win we're the warriors -- >> wondering if they won't won't the warriors -- >> you're missing the whole fourth quarter. okay. here we go. the warriors are full force for their fourth finals where the warriors will win. wondering if the wonderful warriors won't win? we won't won't win we're the warriors. >> dude, i -- >> you got this. >> too fast for me. >> the warriors are full force for their fourth finals -- >> the warriors are full force final -- >> fourth final -- [ cheers and applause ] >> oh, man, that was an awesome shot! >> the warriors are -- >> you got this. oh, dude. you're so close. >> i can't, dude. you're talking over me. give me like two parts and then two parts after that. >> perfect. i'll give you one part and then i'll give you the second part. >> okay, perfect.
>> here's the first part. >> okay. >> we're the warriors. >> yeah. i know. >> the warriors. >> the warriors. >> are full force. >> are full force. >> for their fourth final. the warriors will win. wondering if the warriors won't win -- >> now you're [ bleep ] me up. >> we're so close. i'm sorry. >> warriors are full force through the fourth final -- >> where the wonderful warriors will win. >> where the wonderful warriors will win. can we do someone else? >> kyle, will you do me a favor, will you believe in kyle on this one? >> i absolutely will. >> say you'll believe in kyle. >> i'll believe in kyle. >> can you do this? >> slower. >> the warriors are full force for the fourth final win where the warriors will win. wondering if the warriors won't win? we won't won't win. we're the warriors. >> wondering if the warriors won't win? we're the warriors. >> so close. [ cheers and applause ] >> damn it! okay, let's go!
tell me. right here. warriors won't win. we won't win. >> we won't won't win! >> oh, [ bleep ]! >> wondering if the warriors won't win? we won't won't win. >> we wish to wash irish wrist watches. >> we wish to wi -- what? >> the warriors are full force for their fourth final. >> when the warriors will win. >> where the warriors will win. >> wondering if the warriors won't win? we won't won't win. >> wondering if the warriors won't win? we won't won't win. >> we wish to wash irish wrist watches! >> we wish to wash irish wrist watches! >> yeah! yeah! >> yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's the mvp right there.
we have music from future. sam jackson is here. and we'll be right back with kevin durant. >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you pi p & g at walgreen's. the place to pick up clean savings for dad this saturday. walgreen's. the place to pick up clean savings for dad this saturday. is saturday. summerfest is back!ster &p get all the lobster and shrimp you crave, together in so many new ways. there's new cedar plank seafood bake. tender maine lobster and shrimp, cedar roasted to perfection. or new caribbean lobster and shrimp. sweet pineapple salsa on grilled rock lobster, paired with jumbo coconut shrimp. and wait. there's lobster & shrimp overboard! it's a seafood party on a plate. so hurry in. 'cause lobster & shrimp summerfest won't last. out of sunscreen, going on a targetwatermelon.ything? water please! and soda! grandpa!! got it!
get low prices today and every day. targetrun and done. >> jimmy: you're on vacation? >> yes. for our honeymoon. i'm sorry, for our anniversary. >> jimmy: he's saying that he feels like it's brand new. that's the way he's saying. crystal geyser alpine spring water starts here, passes through here, and is bottled right here. at the mountain source. naturally.
♪ >> jimmy: hi there and welcome back. tonight from "the incredibles 2" sam jackson is here. aka frozone. then with a song from the "superfly" soundtrack, future from the mercedes-benz stage. you can see future on tour with nicki minaj starting september 21st in baltimore. tomorrow night kevin costner and katherine langford will join us, we'll have music from weezer and later this week jamie foxx, jon hamm, tiffany haddish, lil rel howery, dj khaled, plus music from ella may, gallant featuring a$ap ferg, and g-eazy featuring yo gotti. so join us for all that. friday night our first guest and his teammates made the cleveland cavaliers look like the cleveland browns with a four-game sweep to win a second straight nba title. from the world champion golden state warriors, please welcome their most valuable player,
kevin durant. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ look at that. wow. thank you. thank you so, so much. that's very nice of you to bring me my own trophy too. actually, let me put this here. otherwise, nobody will see who's interviewing you? congratulations again. >> thank you, man. i appreciate it. >> jimmy: how are you feeling right now? >> i'm all right. my voice is a little gone. i've been screaming back to back for the last 48 hours. >> jimmy: did you have a party in cleveland? >> yeah. there's a morton's in the hotel. >> jimmy: that's the only place they'll let you go, right? >> not the clubs. we couldn't do that. >> jimmy: and then you flew back to oakland to have a party
there? >> i wouldn't call that -- well, we did have a party, actually. yeah. last night. >> jimmy: and is it as exciting the second time in a row or is it not as exciting? no? it's not. >> it's still fun. free drinks is cool. [ laughter ] but you know, winning a championship you're supposed to party all summer. so you can't get tired in the first two days. >> jimmy: do you have party plans for the whole summer? you do. [ laughter ] you should. why not? what the heck? you worked hard all year. >> yeah, right? >> jimmy: i want to ask a couple things. first of all, j.r. smith in that game 1 where he was confused at the end. i'm just curious, are you guys laughing, are you happy or do you feel compassion for him after something like that happens? >> definitely not. i'm happy that he made that decision to do that. especially with the game on the line. we needed that win for the sweep. >> jimmy: did you know at that point once you guys won that game, because they really had a
chance to steal that game, did you know that it was over? >> yeah. >> jimmy: we all did. >> we had a good feeling. we knew we kind of broke them a little bit. >> jimmy: well, lebron broke his own hand. if lebron wanted to come to the warriors next season, would you be excited about that or would you feel like all right, this is now not fair? we're the harlem globetrotters here. [ laughter ] >> i just don't think that would happen. i don't want to go there. somebody who's listening is going to write something. i'd rather -- i don't know. i'll stay on my side. >> jimmy: you're all right -- you're going to stay. you've already said that. you're planning to stay. >> for sure. yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it would be hard to go anywhere else, wouldn't it? >> i love the bay area. >> jimmy: but do you feel like you want more of a challenge at some point? because you guys are so unbelievably good. >> it's a challenge every night.
to be that great. >> jimmy: i see. challenges comes from within. >> yeah. >> jimmy: huh. >> we have enough of a challenge. >> jimmy: maybe you guys should go play in the cba and you can have even more of a challenge. you know what i'm saying? >> we could win a championship there too. i feel where you're going with that. >> jimmy: let's look at a clip here. this is the reason i ask this question. i think you scored 43 points in this game. game 3. including that amazing three-pointer. see, that really kind of sealed the deal. you don't look that happy, though. [ laughter ] >> how am i supposed to look? >> jimmy: i don't know. for me i'd be like, yeah! it would be ridiculous. and then i'd go back to my room and i'd watch it over and over and over. >> i did do that. i didn't do the first part. i did watch it over and over again, though. i guess i'm supposed to do that. >> jimmy: so you do go and watch highlights of yourself when you have a good game. >> of course. you watch your show, right? you watch it back? >> jimmy: i never watch my show. but i would if i ever did anything athletic. [ laughter ] i would watch it. >> the one-on-one game coming up you're going to watch that back?
>> jimmy: do you have any advice for me in this one-on-one game with ted cruz? >> i don't know what type of game you play. >> jimmy: bad. real bad. [ laughter ] like a bad one. it's barely even basketball. >> i'm lost. i don't know what to do there. >> jimmy: i'll figure it out. don't worry. >> good luck. >> jimmy: thanks. i appreciate that. you have a parade tomorrow. >> 8:00 a.m. i have to hurry and get back. >> jimmy: 8:00 a.m., yeah. why do they have to be so early? >> i don't know. we're going to be out there for a couple of hours and it's going to be hot. last year was really hot. >> jimmy: and then draymond has to get drunk at 8:00 a.m. >> me too. >> jimmy: who is the most valuable partier on the team this year? >> swaggy p for sure. >> jimmy: it was? really? nick, huh? >> scrolling through instagram in like utah or sacramento and a party with nick young and his shirt's off on -- >> jimmy: he had his shirt off on the plane it seemed like. >> he's been that way since january. >> jimmy: is that okay -- [ laughter ]
you have other like stuff you that work on besides -- you have business ventures. what are you involved in? what kind of stuff? >> a little bit of everything. >> jimmy: and you like doing that? >> of course. >> jimmy: is that something you look forward to focusing on full-time at some point? >> at some point. obviously, i still love to play, but when i'm done -- >> jimmy: you said you're going to retire when you're 35? is that -- >> yeah, that was just -- >> jimmy: that was just -- >> you know, i was just thinking crazy stuff at times of the day. i don't know why i said it. maybe it was too much champagne that night. [ laughter ] i probably shouldn't have said that. >> jimmy: do you get guys texting you or calling you from other teams saying i really want to be on the team, i'll take a pay cut if i have to but i just want one of these many trophies that you have? >> no, not really. >> jimmy: you don't. >> i think a lot of players might be afraid to come play for us. that backlash is a lot. i don't know if guys are ready. >> jimmy: yeah, there is some backlash but it all seems to go away when you're carrying these over your head, right?
>> exactly. that's my pitch to every free agent. you might get some backlash but you might get one of these too. >> jimmy: you can't put backlash on a shelf. >> exactly. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, congratulations. you played fantastically, and you always seem like a great guy, and i appreciate you coming down for this. have fun at the parade tomorrow. kevin durant, everybody. mvp of the nba championship. we'll be right back with sam jackson. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ jump into summer with up to 50% off the entire store, with styles from $5! that's up to 50% off the enitre store at old navy!
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simple. easy. awesome. see how you can save by getting xfinity mobile included with your internet. get started with xfinity internet with more speed than ever for $29.99 a month for 12 months. click, call or visit a store today. >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. still to come music from future. our next guest tonight is a hero to many both on and off screen following the enormous success of "avengers: infinity war." he's back as the voice of frozone in ""incredibles 2." >> he's a baby. >> i can handle it. i've got this handled. >> so you're good, then? you got everything under control, right? >> what the -- >> it's okay. cha-cha want a cookie? nun-num cookie? cha-cha want a cookie? nun-num cookie? cookie? >> oh, my god.
>> cookie. >> wow. >> okay. >> he can still hear you -- >> from the other dimension, yeah. >> that is freaky. >> "incredibles 2" opens friday. please say hello to samuel l. jackson. [ cheers and applause ] >> i love this. what's up? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> i'm awesome. >> jimmy: you seem like you're in a great mood right now, huh? >> yeah. i mean, how can you be in a bad mood when "incredibles 2" finally showed up? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i loved that first "incredibles" movie. i'm excited to see this one. >> this one's smoking.
>> jimmy: it is weird to see you not cursing, though, in a movie. [ laughter ] doing like a children's movie. >> i haven't cursed in a real marvel movie yet either. >> jimmy: that's true. you haven't. >> sort of almost did at the end of the avengers. i got close. >> jimmy: have you done like children's programming of any kind or any kind of work? >> i've done a couple of other animated films. i did a film about a lost dog one time. and i did -- i actually did live children's theater in atlanta when i was in college. >> jimmy: oh, you did? >> yeah. s i worked at an improvisational theater called the academy theater. and they had a schools program. so my wife, me, and like three other people did this show called "something in a box." which was -- we had a big refrigerator box we painted with different scenes and we'd go to schools and we'd ask kids what are your fears? and they'd write down their fears and we would pick two or
three of them and we would act them out. then we would get the kid who wrote down their fear and bring them on stage and we'd give them this product called dr. willa power's placating placebo. and they would take it and we would act out a scene with their fear in it and they'd be over it and then we'd sell the stuff to the rest of the kids for a nickel. this will take care of your fears. >> jimmy: so you would sell the children imaginary drugs. [ laughter ] that's great. >> yeah. >> jimmy: what if the kids' fear was getting on stage in front of other people? >> we cured it, man. >> jimmy: you cured it. >> that placating placebo was everything. >> jimmy: what do little kids know you from? do little kids recognize you? >> little kids know me from "star wars" basically. >> jimmy: "star war." right. that makes sense. [ cheers and applause ] >> mace windu is me. so they see me, they see the bald head, and their parents can go that's mace windu. then some parents want to insist to their kids that's frozone. he's a cartoon character. doesn't look like me.
>> jimmy: kids never understand than, do they? >> and then they start with where's my super suit? that's the super suit guy. and they're still like -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you are teaching acting now for masterclass. right? >> sort of kind of maybe. >> jimmy: well, you did a series of videos so people can learn to act at home watching their computers. >> well, essentially for people who want to be actors. there are other people who watch it. because they're writers and they want to understand acting in another kind of way. but it's a pretty big deal. there are a few of them -- helen mirren's got one. dustin. >> jimmy: steve martin has one. >> steve martin's got one. there's a directing one with scorsese. shonda rhimes has a writing one. serena teaches tennis. stephen curry teaches basketball. >> jimmy: wait a minute. tennis. how the hell do you learn tennis from a computer? >> right. on the computer. you're sitting there. >> jimmy: have you taken -- have you gone to a lot of acting
lessons or are you just like a natural? >> no, i have a degree in theater from morehouse college. i had teachers when i was in college. >> jimmy: aren't acting teachers crazy? >> eccentric. i would go with eccentric. i had teachers who told me things like if you want to be great you have to learn to be drunk and high and still do the play because that's what the great ones do. but we tried it. we did it. [ applause ] drink a little wine, smoke a little weed, go on stage. and when you get through, that you're kind of like confident and you go, that was all right. let's drop some acid. [ laughter ] so you actually think that you know what's going on, so you like the acid at the half hour. because you know it's going to be two hours before it really comes down on you.
you go on stage and do the play and when the play is over you're ready to party. occasionally you do that and you drink some coffee and smoke some weed and you get ready to go on stage. one night these girls, we had these dancers, and they used to come on stage first and they would do this leap across the stage and i'm in the wings ready to go on and just as i was ready to go on and they did their leap it was like -- oh. there's going to be a problem tonight. i've been standing in the middle of the stage and watching my feet sink into the stage. you're staring at your feet and you hear your line and you're like oh, i've got to speak. you speak and you take your feet up off the floor. everybody's like why is he walking like that? >> jimmy: is this in the master class? >> no. [ laughter ]
that's definitely one of the things not to do. >> jimmy: not to do. on instagram you've been doing something funny. >> uh-oh. >> jimmy: very few people can do this. i was thinking about who could do this. i think you and bill murray might be the only two people i could think of who could actually do this because your faces are on a lot of shirts. you've been taking pictures of yourself wearing shirts with your own face on them. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and posting them. and there's quite a few of these. where do you get these shirts? [ laughter ] >> sometimes people when they come to junkets they give them to me. >> jimmy: they give them to you. >> some are by-products of craft service and other people who work on the movie. they make things and hand them to you. that's just like every character. my cousins gave me that for christmas. a whole ton of different characters. but you get them, you collect them. sometimes i see one in a store window and i go in and i say i want that shirt. and they're like no, no, here. >> jimmy: they give it to you. they probably don't want to get sued by you.
wow, you walk in and -- >> well, they'd be sued by the studio because they own the property, i don't. >> jimmy: i got you something. it might be a little item for you. what i got you is we made a shirt of you -- so this would be an extra step. [ applause ] you can wear a shirt of yourself wearing a shirt of yourself. >> yes. i like that. >> jimmy: very meta. >> there's actually a photo of me as jules with a pin of me as jules wearing a pin of me as jules. >> jimmy: oh. i'll throw this in the garbage, then. >> no. swag-a-licious. [ applause ] >> jimmy: what's your plan for the summer? >> by-products of being famous. >> jimmy: your vacation with magic johnson. is that happening again? >> yes, it is. in august. >> jimmy: why is it that each time you or magic comes -- each time you indicate that i would be invited to join you and then each year i never get invited to
join you? [ laughter ] is that a coincidence? >> your kids are too small to leave and it's a no kid trip. >> jimmy: oh, it's a no kid trip. because even before i had the little kids it seemed like i'd been -- [ laughter ] did you guys know i was going to have kids and were concerned? >> i thought you were. [ laughter ] i don't know what earvin thought but i thought you were. >> jimmy: i will take the kids to see you -- or hear new "incredibles 2." and that will be close enough. >> that would be awesome. >> jimmy: samuel l. jackson, everybody. thank you so much for being here. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. series is prese presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. or nothing.
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tonight, the historic summit. president trump and kim jong un signing what they call a comprehensive agreement. >> we're going to fake care of a very big and very dangerous problem for the world. >> the north korean dictator vowing to leave the past behind. proclaiming the world will see a major change. david muir and our team live in singmore. with adversaries shaking off decades of hostility, fear, and frustration, embarking on a new beginning of possibility of peace. >> will you be meeting again, sir? >> we'll meet many times. thank you very much, everybody. >> this special edition of "nightline," "trump and kim: the historic summit," will be right back.