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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  March 27, 2019 11:35pm-12:36am PDT

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that's our report. we appreciate your time. >> thanks for being he from hollywood - it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- matthew mcconaughey and snoop dogg, from the la dodgers justin turner, plus music from durand jones & the indications. and now, great news, jimmy kimmel! [cheers and applause] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. hi, everyone. welcome. thank you for coming. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us on this sunny and beautiful day here in
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march. [cheers and applause] we are, thank you. i appreciate that. and maybe, i don't know. maybe you'll be interested in this. they did a, there was a new survey. according to the survey, last year in 2018, americans made almost $40 billion worth of purchases while drunk. more than a quarter of american adults, about 53 million people said they bought things while under the influence, which could explain the popularity of uggs. but this is especially interesting. 11% of intoxicated shoppers said they bought cars. how do you, what do you think you ordered a uber, instead you leased a mid-sized suv? and 12% of shoppers bought pets while drunk. that's drunk. if you ever wait up and say where the hell did all these
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gerbils come from, you probably need to get help. we have a heck of a show tonight. matthew mcconaughey and snoop dogg are with us. [cheers and applause] that announcement was more for them than it was for you. i just wanted to make sure they were aware of where they were. i heard snoop tried to get you to go in his room. >> i had a busy day today. i'm tired. >> jimmy: oh, you're tired. that's right. you did have a busy day. but justin turner from the dodgers is here, hopefully. and also tonight we have a special group tonight of officials from the hypothetical gonzaga university. so last week, i blew the lid off this whole gonzaga is a real place myth that's been spread by the ncaa and cbs in order to boost their basketball tournament. the team is in anaheim to play in the sweet 16 tomorrow.
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and in our audience tonight we have a guys. mark livingston from gonzaga radio and tv. joshua cox, the director of fund raising for gonzaga, the athletics, the athletic supporter ezekiel brown, play by play announcer thomas hudson, and the easter bunny, spiderman. the tooth fairy and other imaginary characters are here with us tonight. so thanks for coming. i pleerkt t appreciate the effort. i'm still not buying it. let me ask you this. if gonzaga is so real, why does it sound so fake? >> mark livingston has the answer for that. that?ly.: what i ans to rought me a gift. this is interesting, a bag with
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nothing in it. isn't that right on the nose. you should change your mascot from the bulldogs to the catfish. thanks for taking time away from whatever the hell it is that you do to be here tonight. i'm not the only one who doubts gonzaga by the way. even some of their alleged students are starting to publicly question their school. >> there's no end in sight for the gonzaga trocontroversy stir up by jimmy kimple. >> he's very good at this. >> some are starting to question themselves. >> i don't know if this school is real either, i'm starting to get suspicious. >> jimmy: run as far as you can, be not afraid, francisco. i sent guillermo to anaheim to interrogate the players and coach, and we will have the fult results of his investigation on
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the show tomorrow. speaking of investigations, our president is still so excited about not being a traitor. he's thinking about going to the white house correspondents dinner next month. he skipped the event the last two years because his skin is thinner than bethenny frankel. and he called the press the enemy of the people and the real opposition party. he's really into the second amendment, not so much the first. but his hatred for the press is equalled only by his love for himself. on twitter he wrote the fake news media has lost credibility with the illegal democrat witch-hunt of the all-time favorite duly elected president, me. i'd be willing to bet all the fried chicken he doesn't know what duly means. can you imagine any person other than donald trump calling
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themselves your favorite duly elected president me. there are only two people i can imagine doing it, conor mcgregor and kanye west. that's who's running our government. kanye mcgregor is running the government. it's like j.c.shaze saying he's everyone's favorite member of 'n sync. we talk about this. but the trump administration in the middle of what he calls the greatest economy of all time has decided to stop funding the special olympics. yes. he works here and he can't believe it. the cuts are the work of betsy devos, the secretary of education who thinks school is a waste of why thided to nix all $18 million in federal funding for the special olympics. she said it was a difficult choice.
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those special olympians have had it too good for too long, what with their javelins and shorts. whose problem with america was helping the disabled too much. it's like she's auditioning for the plot for peele's next horror movie. trump unleashed another attack on obamacare to make sure no one ever gets help from anyone ever again. >> obamacare is a disaster. it's too expensive by far. people can't afford it. and the deductible is horrible. so the premiums cost too much. the deductible is horrible. the only difference between now and the other administration is that we're administering obamacare very well. so we've made it better, but it's still horrible. no good. it's something that we can't live with in this country. >> jimmy: that's the trump
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promise. we can't live with obamacare, but by god we're going to die with trumpcare if that's the last thing we do. the important thing is we do have money. we have plenty of funding for the space force. poor mike pence got sent to huntsville to talk at a meeting of the national space council where they announced they were going to send men to the moon in the next five years. can you imagine that, a man on the moon? mike pence has really embraced his role as chief promoter of the non-existent space force, and his plan is to boldly go where no vice president has gone before. >> space pence, fighting gays in outer space. exploring the stars for the pe" >> commander pence, the space feminists have surrounded us. >> they want access to our ship and birth control.
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how shall we meet them? >> head on. >> if we give in, that could let them into activities. >> activities in close proximity of ours. >> oh, no, commander, what are we going to do? >> strengthen our missile defense. >> strengthening missile defense. >> they're protesting, sir. >> what are your orders, commander pence? >> jam, blind and disable our navigation and communication satellites. >> disabling communication satellites. >> jam blind. >> we moust have american dominance in space. >> ready to >> ah. oh. we did it. we did it! >> he did it. >> america has remained the best
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in space. >> best in space. >> best in space. >> best in space. >> best in space. >> best in space. "space pence"! [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: yeah, your moon, jj abrams. we are taking our show on the road. we're going to las vegas next week. and we have a star-studded lineup, tiffany hadish. the kardashian sisters, a lot of stuff. vegas is my hometown. we wanted to get the town ready for us. we cou sal. that wasn't. >> quiet please, quiet please.
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well, sir? do you want to come with me? >> i guess. >> yeah. walk through. that's all right. it will take a second. sunglasses off for a second. all right. mind if i feel your arms? pretty strong. >> good? >> yeah, that's good. that will be $15. >> why do you need $15? >> it's secondary expedited service. i got you through faster. >> what if i don't want to spend $15? >> i asked if you wanted to come with me. >> you didn't ask if i wanted to spend $15. >> sir, come through real quick. okay, now it's $30 since you came through twice. >> i know. just come through. that's $45. >> [ bleep ]. >> you want to go for 60? everybody, should he go for 60?
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as you know, a lot of fights happen in the stadium. the most dangerous weapon is? >> knife? >> nope. >> fist? >> nope. fingernails. >> fingernails? >> yep, let's take a look. >> not much there. >> you'd be surprised. see how that one's hanging there? you're wearing sandals to a hockey game. is that a canadian thing? >> sandals? >> yeah, good. all right. okay. these check out. all right. i think they're all in order. i'll put them in your pocket. all right. free to go. sir, it's about your shirt. what does it say on the back? >> god bless the united states. >> god bless the united states. we've been having so many problems in the stands and this is winnipeg coming to play. we feel this is going to start a
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fight. >> i'm ticket holder. >> no, the problem is winnipeg coming. they're going to see it as a threat. >> what are you talkin' about? we love the canadians around here. >> of course we do. of course we do. i just have to give you another shirt to wear. >> no. no. >> as an american, i'm trying to explain it to you. >> why are you telling me i can't wear this jersey. >> i'm telling you you can't wear that jersey. you want to sing the anthem? >> my wife sings the anthem. i don't get up there and sing the anthem. i just stand for the anthem. i'm a veteran. i salute the anthem. >> you understand my position, right? >> no, i don't at all. >> i was hoping you'd explain it to me. sir, i love this country. >> i don't care. i'm taking it off. i've been wearing this jersey two years. >> come on. >> it doesn't make sense. >> all right, all right.
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>> [ bleep ] the canadians, right? >> yeah. all right. you're fresh and clean. have a good game. >> can i get my stuff? >> no, it's all mine now. >> okay. >> go ahead. >> mind if i check your mouth? what do you like about the knights? >> everything. >> who's your favorite player?
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>> carlton. >> who? >> carlton. >> i can't understand you. who? >> carlson. >> who? >> karlsson. >> that's good. that checks out. go ahead and lose the pants. >> take my pants off? >> yeah. >> there you go. dude, i'm kidding. [ bleep ] what's the matter with you? say hello to jimmy kimmel live, you pervert. take a couple tickets to the show, april 5th. make sure you put your pants on >> jimmy: tonight on the show, music from durand jones and the indications. from the dodgers, justin turner is here. and we'll be right back with matthew mcconaughey and snoop dogg. ♪ abc's jimmy kimmel live, brought to you by allstate. allstate.
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>> jimmy: tonight, he is the big hitting third baseman for the national league champion los angeles dodgers, justin turner is here. [cheers and applause] then, the album is called "american love call." durand jones and the indications from the mercedes-benz stage. tomorrow night, colin farrell, marsay martin, and billie eilish will be with us. so please join us then. our first guest tonight have one oscar, 7 platinum-selling albums 7 kids and a brother named rooster between them. they play moondog & ray, as in lingerie, in the new movie "the beach bum." it opens in theaters friday. please welcome matthew mcconaughey and snoop dogg. ♪ [cheers and applause]
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[cheers and applause] >> jimmy: look at this. i feel like it was inevitable that you guys work together on something, right? >> about time, right? >> jimmy: when did you meet? how did this all get started? you don't remember? do you remember, snoop? >> nah, i don't, man, and i don't want to remember. >> well, i mean, it's magic, jimmy. it's magic, but i think certain people in life are meant for each other. i think me and matthew are meant for each other. >> jimmy: i agree. it's like bongs and bongos came together. >> one plus one equals one. >> all the time. >> jimmy: by the way, i saw the movie, and i really enjoyed it. i have no idea what was happening in it, but i thoroughly enjoyed it. it really made me wish i was in
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the movie rather than watching the movie. how would you describe this film to others? >> the beach bum. >> jimmy: yeah. >> if you come to it with your morals on your sleeve, your arm will get burned. it's, it's like take the reins off, get ready to laugh your ass off. >> jimmy: you play moon dog. were you supposed to play snoop dogg ournl lriginally? >> yeah, but i came one a new name. i'm lingerie in the movie. >> and the way i heard it was
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snoop was not even going to sig right? >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> so finally, the director's like, i don't know, he's got script notes. i got on the phone call. and he said i had an epiphany. my character's name is ray, short for -- >> lingerie. >> jimmy: i got to tell you something. [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: it's a great name. and if i had to distill your genius down to one moment, i think that would be it. how did, that just came to you, huh? >> first of all, it was an honor to get the call from the director, he's a great director. then he was telling me matthew was a star. i was like, i always wanted to work with him. and i wanted to add a little to it. i didn't twapt to want it to be.
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i wanted to bring more to it. >> jimmy: and ray for lingerie is one of the great names in movie history. >> because he's smooth as silk, baby. >> jimmy: was moon dog based on any of the characters in your life that you know of? >> yeah, moon dog was a big stew of a bunch of cats i've met on the way. >> jimmy: like who? >> there's a guy down no florida named captain steve. captain steve's 6'3", blond hair, a little of that perpetual saliva in the creases of your mouth here. i met him. he was a bit of a smuggler, man. he had a daughter named pearl. and a wife. and i asked what does basil not go with. if you can, good luck. >> jimmy: are you talking about the herb, basil? >> yeah. it goes with everything. we were in that kind of
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conversation. >> jimmy: i understand. an herb-themed conversation. >> on a boat not ocean. i said how did you meet irene, man? they've been married 27 years. he goes oh, man i was working on an oil rig. on the weekend we'd come no and i met with these ladies at a dancer bar, in the back stage, there was the best set of legs and stockings i'd ever seen in my life. and i'd go there every night and stare at her legs and i'd say can i take you out to lunch on my boat? and she'd say no way, man. every weekend i went and i'd ask her, would she come to lunch. finally, she said yeah. i got her on my boat. it was a sunday afternoon at noon. had some lunch, i said you mind if i pull out in the bay? she said no, sure. i pulled out in the bay, and i kept [ bleep ] going, man. sailed around the world, man. she scratched my eyes out and
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beat me for two months and we finally got married around spain and here we are happily married for 27 years. captain steve! >> captain steve! >> jimmy: that's not a love story. that's an abduction by sea. >> very moon dog. moon dog's a cat from like a folk poet from a bob dylan song. a bit of a guy who done acid for the first time when he was 40 and was previously put in hospitals because he was mentally not right. he said yeah, man, i finally got turned on to acid when i was 40. it was like all the tentacles in my brain that w conct l ecd and. never went to the doctor again. that's moon dog. >> jimmy: that's solid. you don't know any characters like this, do you, snoop? >> oh, i got a couple homies like this. >> jimmy: yeah. snoop, you base this character on yourself, didn't you.
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>> well, sorta kinda like. >> jimmy: i heart you're working on a movie about yourself, is that true? >> for real? >> jimmy: yeah, i heard you're working on a biopic, is that, is true? >> maybe, maybe not. >> jimmy: why not have matthew. >> we'd have to change the >> jimmy: when we come back we'll see a clip from the beach bum. >> dicky: portions of jimmy kimmel live are brought to you by zillow. find your way home. way home. ♪ let me see that! ♪
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ed knows he could just have us deliver his prescriptions. but what's the fun in that? switch to cvs pharmacy. command center. this only glows in an isolated pond in jamaica. it's a pink florescent moss patch. >> jimmy: that wasn't even from the movie. we imagine that happened. matthew mcconaughey and snoop dogg in "the beach bum" which opens in theaters on friday. did you guys have a wrap party? >> i think the movie was a wrap
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party. >> the whole movie is a wrap party. >> because when i first got to the set they had a bunch of fake blunts and joints rolled up. >> jimmy: no. no. >> who is that for? that's not for me. >> that was supposed to be for me, but carry on, sir. >> but you, gentleman, i like the way you tell the story. you tell on me. >> so the first scene that wian i shot together. i'm supposed to show up. moon dog goes to lingerie's place, lingerie's going to turn him on to the magic wide. i got my prop joints, which are oregano. and he said, yeah. yeah. i got that. so all of a sudden we go, do the scene, and it's about an eight-minute take. aong take if you're passing a joint back and forth and you're smoking hard core to the heels.
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so the scene goes on. right after the scene i feel like, man, i'm not sure that was a prop. and snoop goes, yo, moon dog, that wasn't prop weed. that was snoop weed. ooh, i said okay, man. i said, buckle up. because here we go. this is the first take of the night. i didn't say another word of english really. he said i rapped a lot. >> you rapped for 13 hours straight. >> i asked him. it was one of those highs where i didn't catch my breath until 5:30 p.m. the next day. and i came back and asked you, i said i'm a little hazy on last night and how'd it go, and what did you say? you said you was great, moon dog. you hit four in the park home
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runs. [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: jimmy buffett is in the movie. >> oh, the great jimmy buffett is in the movie. [ applause ] >> jimmy: are you like, are you familiar with jimmy buffett's work? >> i'm a jimmy buffett fan, man. me and jimmy have the greatest time in the world. when we got on the set, we had so much in common. we had a hell of a scene we got in there with me and him and jimmy in the shakuzzi. we chopping up game in the shakuzzi. it's so flavorful. it's not even scripted. you get the vibe of jimmy and snoop dogg being together before. it was beautiful. >> jimmy: do you know gemjimmy buffett's muse snick. >> owhy you ask me [ bleep ] lie
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that. >> jimmy: what were you rapping by the way for snoop? >> you got to ask him. i don't remember. >> jimmy: is it something you could place some tracks down? >> we made about seven songs that was for real, right? he was so high like for the whole rest of the movie we kept touching back on those songs. we would be chillin' and he would be bringing this song up and this song up. and i was like, cool. we got the groove, everything is beautiful. but at the same time, he didn't do none of the lines from the movie the first night. so i was just in there just asking him, [ bleep ], you know, i guess. this is what it's supposed to be. >> jimmy: in fairness to matthew, he did ask for the oregano. and they did not pass the oregano. >> all rhyme, no reason. >> jimmy: the movie's a lot of fun. sounds like you had a lot of fun it's called "the beach bum." we'll be right back with justin turner. turner.
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>> jimmy: hi there, still to come, music. the l.a. times dubbed our next guest the "heart and soul of the dodgers." he is the beard of the dodgers too. opening day is tomorrow. but he is here with us tonight. from the los angeles dodgers, please welcome, justin turner. [cheers and ♪ >> jimmy: how are you? i have to say, it's weird to see you in regular clothes. >> it's weird to be in regular clothes. i didn't know how to do my hair today. i thought i was going to be wearing a hat. >> jimmy: whatever you did, you nailed it. did you meet snoop and matthew mcconaughey? >> i did, i did. >> jimmy: do you get drug tested for marijuana? >> fortunately, we do not get
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drug tested for marijuana, so i g got to spend as much time with snoop as i wanted. >> jimmy: we were partners i the ping-pong tournament. we did not win. >> no. no. >> jimmy: i think i may have been the weak link on our team. >> no, i think you carried us. >> jimmy: we won two rounds. >> we lost in the third round to tyler tafoley from the kings. you made some canadian joke. >> jimmy: that sounds right. first of all, are you excited about the new season? >> yeah, we like the team that we have. we had a great spring training. a couple guys are on the mend, clayton himself. >> jimmy: how's clayton doing right now? >> he's great. he's doing great. he threw bull pens. he has three innings on saturday. hopefully he'll join up with us maybe in st. louis. >> jimmy: he is such a nice guy.
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is he always a nice guy? or does he get ornery? >> there's two different ones, you don't sit on his table in the training room. you let him do his thing. he's one of the most intense guys you'll meet in your life. then there's the other four days. he's the goofiest guy on the team. chewing bubble gum, he always has a baseball in the dugout, and he tries to bounce the ball off the wall and hit our trainers and, who don't wear cups. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> it's really the tale of two claytons. >> jimmy: do you ever say to him, hey, we have to play every day, we can't just be serious one day and goof around the rest? >> no. he's great. he's not just clowning around. he's locked no
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>> jimmy: your beard, did you ever think it would become such a big thing? >> no. when i got called up for the mets permanently, that was the last time i shaved my beard. i've trimmed it but not taken a mach 3 or anything to it. >> jimmy: what's the rule, once the season starts you don't touch it? >> i try coach it and make sure it's going in the right direction. >> jimmy: make sure there aren't any owls living in there? >> keep the critters out. >> jimmy: i love seeing the kids in the stadium wearing the fake beards. do you get a cut of the beards? >> i don't. buttive abe but i've been seeing them everywhere. to be fair, that might have been on jimmy: though is is one of
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city council men. and i have to say, now, when i watch "game of thrones," i think of you. i do. >> that's probably the most popular tweet i get. >> jimmy: it's a close resemblance. who was your favorite player growing up? >> i actually followed college baseball more than professional baseball. so i batboyed and looked up to those guys. >> jimmy: did they remember you. >> yeah. the first thing, they said you used to batboy for me. now we're playing on the same field. >> jimmy: you guys were in the world series the last two years in a row. were you happy for the red sox when they won? >> absolutely not. >> jimmy: i have to say i share
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thshared that sentiment. do you think about it? >> you think about it a lot. you're so close to accomplishing that goal. and to do it back to back and lose the world series is brutal. >> jimmy: do you think you'll be able to put it out of your mind? >> no. i think it would be special to bring a championship back to the people in l.a. all the people there deserve it. [cheers and applause] it's been way too long. it's probably something i'll never forget. >> jimmy: interesting. that's very sick. >> it's sick. >> jimmy: do you get therapy? >> no. i actually got quoted in a newspaper saying i was going psychotic. >> jimmy: every player has his own special song that plays over the p.a. system. do you get to pick your song? >> we do. i do get to pick. >> jimmy: you had ed sheeran's
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song. >> "shape of you." >> jimmy: is that because the -- >> yeah, he's a ginger. he came and did a concert in the staples center, and i had no idea he was playing. and he came out in a justin turner jersey, did his encore, did the shape of you. that was cool. >> jimmy: he scratches your back. >> i grew a beard. >> jimmy: whether you have a new song this year? >> we have a new song this year. it's unreleased. a friend of mine, brad paisley wrote a stonge and wants me to use it as my walk on. >> jimmy: have you heard it? >> i have heard it. >> jimmy: is it appropriate for a baseball stadium? >> it is. it's about baseball. it's about growing up and wanting to be covered in gatorade. that's name of the song. >> jimmy: covered in gator aid.
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is he getting a cut? >> no. >> jimmy: i would think the baby shark song or something. >> we'll leave that one to key kay. >> jimmy: i was at the world series on that fateful game five. and i think i know what the problem is, and i don't think it's the team. i don't think it has anything to do with the team, management, coaches, any of that stuff. the problem is, go to get a hot dog at dodger stadium. and they have some things available to top them with, but one of them is honey mustard. now this is not an appropriate topping for a hot dog. and nothing against honey mustard. it's fun for like chicken mcnuggets or something like that. >> chick fil a. >> jimmy: yeah. you got to tell them to get rid of this and get real mustard there. >> i didn't even know they had that. >> jimmy: this is the kind of thing that screws up a team, potentially, for years. >> so what's the ideal hot dog, just mustard?
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>> jimmy: brown-style, german mustard. >> a german mustard. joi >> jimmy: german mustard. >> what about catsup. >> jimmy: the interview's over. catsup's for children. you're man. you're hairy. you're terrific player. it's a lot of fun to watch you play. have a graeat season. hope to see you in the world series again. >> jimmy: justin turner! watch the dodgers' season opener against the diamondbacks tomorrow at 4pm eastern, 1pm pacific on espn. and we'll return with music from dky: e jimmy kimmel live ions. concert series is presented by mercedes benz. the best or nothing. the best or nothing.
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yoooh, hello yellow! at ross and you find... th'sesor ls. rinamele at ross. yes for less.
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and you find the same style you knoyou saw there... ross ...here? that's yes for less. yes! say yes to those spring trends you love, specialty store prices, at 2every day. at ross. yes for less. >> dicky: the concert series is presented by mercedes benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: i want to thank matthew mcconaughey, snoop dogg, and justin turner. apologies to matt damon. nightline is next. but first, their album is calle e durand jones & the indications! ♪
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kwhaus [cheers and[cheers and applause] ♪ don't you know that's how i really feel gonna love you baby yes i will ♪ ♪ don't you know that's how i really feel gonna love you baby yes i will ♪ ♪ you're the spark that lights the fire gotta prove you my desire baby ♪ ♪ yes i will yes i will i'm the one that you can call ould i'div up for and that's how much ♪owucve you how much i need you how much i need you and i want you to know ♪
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♪ this right now oh c'mon c'mon baby don't you don't you know ♪ ♪ that's how i really feel gonna love you baby yes i will don't you know ♪ ♪ that's how i really feel gonna love you baby yes i will ♪ ♪ ♪ hold your hand through harder days work two jobs to make our way baby ♪ ♪ yes i will oh baby yes i will girl you mean so much to me ♪ ♪ you're the one i'll share my everything with yes i will oh baby yes i will ♪ ♪ and that's how much i love you how much i love you how much i need you ♪ how much i need you and i want you to know this right now oh c'mon c'mon baby don't you ♪ ♪ don't you know that's how i really feel gonna love you baby yes i will ♪ ♪ don't you know that's how i really feel
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gonna love you baby yes i will ♪ ♪ and that's how much i love you ♪ how much i love you how much i need you ♪ ♪ how much i need you and i want you to know this right now oh c'mon c'mon baby ♪ ♪ don't you oh baby don't you don't you know that's how i really feel ♪ ♪ gonna love you baby yes i will don't you know that's how i really feel ♪ ♪ gonna love you baby yes i will ♪ [cheers and applause] the the
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i can't hold it! >> we are pregnant. >> oh, yeah. i just started thinking about how much we had to do to get here. but another hurdle has been crossed. we are pregnant. >> tonight, three families sharing their intimate ivf journeys. >> we knew we actually both wanted to have a baby. >> the incredible struggl of i'mo thrilled t tellt'n'give um happening. >> the sound of t tiny mi

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