Skip to main content

tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  March 29, 2019 11:35pm-12:37am PDT

11:35 pm
thank you for joining us. >> have a good night. enjoy the sunshine. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- rob lowe. from "the act," joey king. and music from catfish and the bottlemen. and now, walking this way, jimmy kimmel! [cheers and applause] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, thank you. welcome. hi, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. this makes sense. this is a very nice, today officially today, today is the happiest day of the year. today, in case you didn't mark
11:36 pm
it on your calendar is the international day of happiness. [cheers and applause] and it's also, also happens to be national ravioli day, which can't be a coincidence. [cheers and applause] according to the world happiness report, for the second year in a row, the happiest country in the world is finland, followed by denmark, norway and iceland. i guess there's something about eating rotten fish in the dark that makes people smile. the united states, we finished 19th on the list behind belgium was 18th. the people who feel the need to put mayonnaise on their french fries are happier than we are. cheer up, everybody. i had an interesting day today. it seems that i instigated march madness in washington state. the other night i was talking about gonzaga university, and i mentioned that i don't believe gonzaga exists. i think it's very possible gonzaga is a hoax, probably cooked up by the canadians to screw up our basketball brackets, and that made some
11:37 pm
people mad. it doesn't make sense. all i said is i don't know where gonzaga is, and i don't know anyone who went there and i don't know anyone who knows anyone who went there. all i know is that in march i hear the word 30 times a day. now people from spokane, washington are claiming it is real and it is located there. this made the front page of the local newspaper. yes, jimmy kimmel, gonzaga exists. and another one from the bonner county daily bee. we'll prove it to you. good luck. i don't believe the bonner county daily bee exists. but of course many, many individuals weighed in on this online, on twitter. bill said, jimmy kimmel, you're living in a hole. for all of us who live around the spokane area, north idaho area in general know the greatness that is gonzaga, not just the basketball.
11:38 pm
do a little research before you talk out your ass, kimmel. i liked you till now, f-off. i have a degree from there, signed the real cher doll. some people tried to use alumni to make their case. you probably don't know much, probably haven't heard of mr. tom foley, 30-year u.s. congressman, elected speaker of the house. hey, jimmy kimmel, heard of bing crosby? he went to gonzaga. and the largest three on three basketball tournament. thank you. you're welcome. hey, jimmy, i'm proof gonzaga exists. i graduated in gu's school of engineering and had a great career developing digital cameras, mixed reality headsets, that's interesting. her job is to create reality
11:39 pm
that doesn't actually exist. just like the university she claims she went to. [ applause ] they even did an extended story about this on the news. they reminded him that he interviewed a guy named jon hamm who played a guy who went to gonzaga in a little film called "tag". >> jimmy: do they know movies aren't real? all these examples, these are all, these are circumstantial. i need physical evidence that proves unequivocally that gonzaga exists before i'll believe it. and don't say, come up here and see. i know how that goes. i fly into spokane. i get picked up at the airport. they say hi, i'm with gonzaga, they drive me to the middle of a field with my luggage. next thing i know i wake up in a bathtub full of ice and my
11:40 pm
kidneys are gone. i picked gonzaga to win the ncaa tournament. [cheers and applause] my thinking is, these guys are so good, they can concoct an imaginary university and get almost everyone to go along with it, they can easily win a basketball tournament. when they go zig, i go zags. they tried to convince us hogwarts was in scotland, guess what, that turned out to be a book. president trump was on a roll or spiral today. i don't know if you've been following his activities. but he lashed out in so many directions i don't know where to start. the wagons are off the wheel. trump again today attacked the late senator john mccain and did it in front of a group of tank manufacturers who didn't ask him about it. he said he never liked john mccain and complained that no one thanked him for giving john mccain the funeral he wanted. and that, by the way didn't even
11:41 pm
make today's crazy top five. like an old man yelling on his lawn, the president was outside yelling on his lawn today about special counsel robert mueller. >> tens of millions of voters, and now somebody's going to write a report. now i have somebody writing a report that never got a vote? never have figured that one out. man gets appointed by a deputy, he writes a report. a man gets appointed by a deputy, he writes a report. a man out of blue writes a report. now somebody writes a report. i think it's ridiculous. somebody comes in, does a report out of nowhere. tell me how that makes sense. explain that, because my voters don't get it, and i don't get it. >> jimmy: i don't know, maybe he doesn't get it. let me put it in terms the president will understand. so let's say phil mickleson, the golfer wins the masters. he had the lowest score just like you did. but according to the rules he won and he gets the green jacket and they give him the trophy.
11:42 pm
but we find out later that his caddie, his caddie vladdy by the way got a grounds keeper to sneak into tiger's golf bag and fiddle with his balls which may have caused tiger to lose the match. now you say i didn't know my caddie vladdy was fiddling with tiger's balls, i was busy winning. but the pga says we need to look into this to see if you knew tiger's balls were being fiddled with. and since this was tiger woods, maybe he paid off a hooters waitress or two. we can't just cover up the divots and move on. hopefully that clears things up for the president. i am enjoying nonetheless. trump continued the feud with george conway which is the husband of his henchman
11:43 pm
kellyanne conway. he wrote that he is very jealous with his wife's success and didn't get the job he so desperately wanted. a stone-cold loser and husband from hell. this woman works, and i wonder what melania thinks when she hears someone else being called a husband from hell. can eyeballs roll out of your head? trump knows what makes a good marriage. he's been married more than any president ever. and not only does he think george conway is a stone-cold loser but a whack job. >> a whack job. i don't know him.
11:44 pm
/i think he's doing a tremendous disservice to a wonderful wife. i call him mr. kelly ann. >> yeah. the fact that he thinks being overshadowed by your wife is an insult kind of tells you all you need to know about his brain. but i really, more than anything, i hope they all end up on dr. phil. that's my, that will be my -- [cheers and applause] -- my bedtime prayer tonight. during his morning lawn time, the president brought out visual aids to give an impromptu presentation on the status of isis. >> i brought this out for you, because this is a map of everything in the red, this was on election night in 2016. everything red is isis. when i took it over, it was a mess. now, on the bottom, that's the exact same. there is no red. fact is, there's actually a tiny spot, which will be gone by tonight. [ applause ]
11:45 pm
>> jimmy: come on. he does know that's catsup, right? i mean. he had mcdonald's for brunch and nobody had the heart to tell him. so last night, and it was only a matter of time before this happened, but president trump retweeted larry the cable guy. he retweeted this. he wrote not a good situation in reference to a video of a very white kid getting frisked by a tsa agent. this upset the president. show that video here, because why would the tsa frisk a kid when he could be frisking a perfectly good miss america contestant. a, he is in charge of the tsa, and b, the video is two years old.
11:46 pm
it was posted by account called deep state exposed. they post conspiracies. trump has now retweeted them nine different times. his internet use is out of control. and you have to ask yourself, where are the parents? where are the parents? it's interesting. [ applause ] and i thought it might be educational to break down the path this video took to make it to our retweeter in chief. so come with me to the wall. we worked up a flow chart here. and i think you'll find this very fascinating. so this original video was shot by a woman named jennifer williamson in 2017. and for whatever reason, it was shared this week, two years later, by a twitter account called deep state exposed, which is somehow connected to qanon. it is linked to ones like hillary clinton ran a child sex ring out of a pizza parlor. it was retweeted by the actor james woods. james woods once played rudy
11:47 pm
giuliani in a made-for-tv movie. that's donald trump's lawyer. his retweet was tweeted again by larry the cable guy who played buddy in "madea's christmas" which is donald trump's favorite film. and that was retweeted by larry the cable guy by donald trump using his naughty little thumbs, and that's how a build comes a law. [cheers and applause] one more item. as you know, the president makes his home away from home at his palm beach, mar-a-lago estate and tonight we shine a light on the sunshine state with a new edition of "this week in florida." >> the acting mayor of port richey was arrested by the florida department of law
11:48 pm
enforcement. he was serving as the mayor after the former mayor was arrested. >> jimmy: tonight on the show, music from catfish and the bottlemen, joey king is here, and we'll be right back with rob lowe. abc's jimmy kimmel live, brought to you by turbo tax. turbo tax. free. free. free...uh. freefreefree! free! free. free! freefree! freefreefreefree! free. free! free free. free! free! fr-free! free!!! free! freefreefree. free...freefree. free! free!!! free!!! that's right, turbotax free is free. free, free free free. that's right, turbotax free is free. ♪ when you have nausea, ♪ heartburn, ♪ indigestion, ♪ upset stomach,
11:49 pm
♪ diarrhea... girl, pepto ultra coating will treat your stomach right. ♪nausea, heartburn, ♪ indigestion, upset stomach, ♪ diarrhea... try pepto with ultra coating. cheez-i... so crispy.hin... but we fear, too snackable. which could be cata... ...strophic for our cheese supply. next slide! we are genuinely... ... concerned we may ... ... run out of cheese! new cheez-it snap'd. but i'm more than a number. when i'm not teaching, i'm taking steep grades and tight corners. my essilor lenses offer more than vision correction with three innovative technologies for my ultimate in vision clarity to ia ng lens:imate in vision the essilor ultimate lens package. so, i can do more of what i love!
11:50 pm
buy two pairs of essilor's best lenses and get a $100 back instantly. see more. do more. essilor i am totally blind. and non-24 can make me show up too early... or too late. or make me feel like i'm not really "there." talk to your doctor, and call 844-234-2424. ♪ ♪ it's taking over
11:51 pm
♪ there's no escape ouetter t ving ♪ing over ♪ ready or not ♪ it's about to go down here it comes now ♪ ♪ get ready ♪ oh oh oh oh ♪ oh oh oh oh ♪ get ready ♪ moving ♪ ready or not ♪ get ready ♪ oh oh oh oh oh ♪ hey yoooh, hello yellow! at ross and you find... yes! that's yes for less. spring forward with the latest brand-name styles at 20 to 60 percent off department store prices. at ross. yes for less.
11:52 pm realize you can totally eat out more? that's yes for less. get the latest spring trends for your home at 20 to 60 percent off specialty store prices. at ross. yes for less. ♪ >> jimmy: hello, welcome back. tonight, she has a show on hulu called "the act." joey king is here. then, this their forthcoming album, it is titled "the balance," catfish and the bottlemen from the mercedes-benz outdoor stage. tomorrow night, sean penn and
11:53 pm
retta will be here with music from jenny lewis. and next month, starting april fool's day, we are taking our show on the road to my boyhood home of las vegas for a week-long residency at caesars entertainment's zappos theater. we will be in town april 1st through the 5th with a giant pile of stars including tiffany haddish, james taylor, the kardashian sisters, kevin hart, seth rogen, celine dion, marshmello featuring churches and the killers. if you live in vegas or would like to go there to join us, go to tickets are free. and the gamblin' is easy. are you ready for vegas, guillermo? >> i'm ready, jimmy! >> jimmy: are you bringing the whole family? or just you. >> just me. >> jimmy: who made that decision, you or your wife? >> i did. yes, yes. >> jimmy: i don't believe that.
11:54 pm
our first guest is a successful actor of many moons who has tackled every challenge show business has to offer with one exception. the role of game show host. that ends tuesday when he hosts a new one called "mental samurai" on fox. please welcome rob lowe. [cheers and applause] ♪ >> jimmy: how are you? >> skinny jimmy. >> jimmy: it's good to see you. you said lookin' good to me, and i'm going, yeah, right, but not that good. >> i'm doing your thing, intermittent fasting. >> jimmy: i call it starving. >> were you the first person to tell me about it. >> jimmy: on what planet does rob lowe do anything i do. never mind something that
11:55 pm
affects his appearance. >> i want to look like you. it's a fact. >> jimmy: oh, i would never wish that on you, but you had a birthday over the weekend. happy birthday to you. >> i turned 55! [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: you obviously, you've held up well. >> i'm tryin'. look, i remember when i was a kid, 55 was the mandatory retirement age. >> jimmy: really? where? >> i grew up in ohio. and like all my friends worked at like national cash register and all the factories and 55, you were tapped out. >> jimmy: that was it, huh? >> that was it. >> jimmy: now you wish that was the case now? or do you like working? do you like doing this stuff? >> i like it. i like finding new stuff that's interesting and fun, like doing the mental samurai stuff. >> jimmy: do you think you will ever retire, you have something in mind that one day, enough, i'm just going to relax? >> i don't think so. right? [ applause ]
11:56 pm
i got to have lunch with michael caine recently, and he's in his late 80s, and he's still killin' it. and i thought that's how you do it. >> jimmy: he seems like he still loves it. >> he loves it. and he gave me great career advice. >> jimmy: oh, what was it. >> i'm going to do a series of impressions. >> jimmy: oh, wonderful. >> and a lot of them are not that good. but that's all right for michael caine. >> jimmy: solid. >> it's like in the middle. but he was like, just by living, you'll corner the market. if i live to be 80, i will be the guy you want when you're 80. >> jimmy: yeah, but you are going to have to eliminate some of your rivals. >> don't think i haven't already. >> jimmy: that's good advice. i mean, there's nothing you can really do about it. >> judd nelson is buried in my back yard. that's where he is.
11:57 pm
>> jimmy: that is a shocking admission. >> just saying. >> jimmy: i don't want to show this photo quite yet, but i do want to mention because rami malek was here and talking about going to this big paul mccartney concert in london, and you were at that concert as well. >> i just shot a project in london. it's my favorite city. i was trying to think, why is it my favorite city? because all of my heroes are musicians, and most of them are english, and most of them are there. >> jimmy: got you. >> i talked to ron wood from the rolling stones, adam clayton from u2 and i met mccartney for like the second or third time, who's the greatest. >> jimmy: rami said he got a picture with paul mccartney, and after it was snapped he never saw it again and after he mentioned it on the show, somebody dug through it. >> he may have an oscar, but i have a few things.
11:58 pm
if you want a picture with paul mccartney, you need to wait right in front of the dressing room when he comes out, because he doesn't, as i learned, he doesn't do selfies. i saw him, he saw me. we greeted each other. and i'm at a point where, excuse me, i don't give a crap. i'm going to get my photo. he's paul mccartney, man. >> jimmy: is part of that that people do that to you, and you are like, i should get to do this once in a while? >> turn-a-bout is fair play. especially when we're talking about a legend like paul mccartney. i said i have to have a selfie. and here comes the bad impression. i'm not really doing any selfies. i am a one-man show. when i do my impression, people say, "he's not from india"! >> jimmy: you undersold how bad
11:59 pm
it was. do a little more. >> oh, well, it really is. would you like him to play sergeant peppers? it's getting worse. i have to stop. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i said no, no, that's fine. i totally understand, and that's smart because that would be all you're doing, and he goes do it, do it really quick. he's the nicest man. >> jimmy: and you took this picture with him. >> look at his face. he's got the international face of -- >> jimmy: leave me alone face. >> it's the hurry up face. >> jimmy: with this face, you can't like hang this at home, can you? >> paul's like, i was like, don't worry, it's just for me. >> jimmy: he looks genuinely displeased. >> he was not, yeah. he was so sweet to do it, but he definitely wanted me to make it quick. >> jimmy: you are doing a one-man show. >> i'm playing vegas!
12:00 am
>> jimmy: i saw a big marquee, and you were on it while i was in vegas this weekend. >> it's such a thrill. >> jimmy: have you never done it >> i've never done it. and my heroes are people like you who can go out and hold an audience's attention for like 90 minutes. >> jimmy: barely. >> it's this but more of it. i love it. audiences have a great time. and it gives me my adrenaline shot. >> jimmy: you're going to take this show across the country, correct? >> i am doing a show. i got my very first own, like bus, like tour bus. >> jimmy: you bought one? >> no, i'm going to have it for the tour. >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> and i'm debating like whose do i want? like i've been in willie nelson's tour bus. i don't want that one. >> jimmy: yeah. you can never clean that one out properly. >> no, i don't want to -- >> jimmy: it's not for sober living. >> no.
12:01 am
i realized i'm going through ohio. i'm going to be in palm springs at the end of the month. if you are in palm springs, come see me then, but when i go to ohio, i'm going to be on this bus, but myself. my wife is busy with her jewelry company, and i will be the first on a tour bus who won't be getting laid on it. >> jimmy: how many people are in your crew for the one-man show? >> i used to think was cool to go to a concert and say wow, they have backup singers and horn players, and then i realized that's coming out of that guy's pocket. so i don't have anybody. so i'm cheap. >> jimmy: you're going alone to ohio? >> when you say it like that. >> jimmy: you might want to jump on a flight. >> i have so many cities together. >> jimmy: then get in a kia. it's just you. rob lowe is here.
12:02 am
yeah! it's good! it's refreshing. ♪ at northwestern mutual, this is what our version of financial planning looks like. tomorrow is important, but she's only seven once. spend your life living. find an advisor at you'll make my morning, buty the price ruin my day.ou? complicated relationship with milk? pour on the lactaid, 100% real milk, just without that annoying lactose. mmm, that's good. stop fearing your alarm clock... with zzzquil pure zzzs. a drug-free blend of botanicals with melatonin that supports your natural sleep cycle so you can seize the morning. zzzquil pure zzzs. nosy neighbor... witglad bag full of trashl. what happens next?
12:03 am
nothing. only glad has febreze to neutralize odors for 5 days. guaranteed. even the most perceptive noses won't notice the trash. be happy, it's glad™. and this phone is terrible. i pay too much (paul) you should really stop overpaying for wireless. (sprintern) and upgrade to the brilliant iphone xr with sprint. (sassbot) yup, both an unlimited plan and iphone xr for just $35 per month. (mom) wait, both for that price? (son) both? (dad) both? (baby) both? [gasp] (mom) her first word! (paul) and you get both on sprint's network built for unlimited. (vo) switch and get both an unlimited plan and iphone xr lease for just $35 a month no trade-in required. for people with hearing loss, visit
12:04 am
12:05 am
i can customize each line for soeach family member?e yup. and since it comes with your internet, you can switch wireless carriers, and save hundreds of dollars a year. are you pullin' my leg? nope. you sure you're not pullin' my leg? i think it's your dog. oh it's him. good call. customize each line and choose to pay by the gig or getunlimited. do you guys sell other dogs? now that's simple, easy, awesome. and since xfinity mobile comes with xfinity internet, you can save hundreds a year. get $250 back when you buy a new samsung galaxy. click, call, or visit a store today.
12:06 am
ed gets copays as lowlily go to as zero dollars on medicare part d prescriptions. ed gets labels clear as day. and, lily.... lily gets anything she wants. ed knows he could just have us deliver his prescriptions. but what's the fun in that? switch to cvs pharmacy.
12:07 am
>> jimmy: we are back with rob lowe. he's not a new show. before we talk about your show, mental samurai, i want to ask about this photograph that you posted, because i know there's a story behind this. >> that's me with lord delaware, who has lived on his property, his family has been there since 1055. >> jimmy: and why didn't you finish your sausage, rob? >> that's what he does. he now creates sausage and -- >> jimmy: he does? >> delaware sausage, that's his big thing. that's what i like about going to london. you meet somebody like a lord delaware whose ancestor came and rescued the people of jamestown with guns and ammunition, and the rest is american history. and on the way back were washed up to what they thought was a deserted island and planted the flag for their lord delaware, it's now the state of delaware. >> jimmy: does he still own that state? or has it since been parceled
12:08 am
out? >> i'm not sure he knows. >> jimmy: that's pretty cool. >> i only hang out with cool people. lord delaware and paul mccartney. and he looks about as happy to have his photo taken as paul mccartney. >> jimmy: he doesn't look too thrilled either. >> hurry up, kid! nobody wants to have a selfie with me, clearly. >> jimmy: we're going to do for you, i'm going to let you take a selfie with everyone in our audience. [cheers and applause] individually. >> let's do it. >> jimmy: you, has, has hosting a game show been something that you've as you wanted to do? >> i love game shows. i was actually on the $10,000 pyramid. by the way, how hilarious that was the most money anybody could possibly imagine. that's not even first class airfare to new york to do the show now. >> jimmy: it's like the $6 million man. they got it done pretty on the cheap.
12:09 am
>> on the cheap. >> jimmy: we did find the clip of you on that show. were you the celebrity? >> yes, the very first version of the celebrity version of the show. and i was up against tony danza. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> now i love tony danza. tony danza was a boxer, but this was not a fair fight. >> jimmy: let's take a look. >> okay. a doughnut. >> things with a hole. >> okay, okay, a car, a truck. >> things that move. >> a bicycle, a wagon. >> things with wheels. >> jimmy: look at how much joy! >> okay. is it just me, or do i look like karen carpenter? i mean, really. >> jimmy: let's go back to the top of that clip because things with a hole is your --
12:10 am
>> it was a simpler time, jimmy. >> jimmy: yeah, it was a definitely -- >> a more innocent time. >> jimmy: now you have this show. i saw a promo. >> premiered last night, did great. i'm a fan of -- >> jimmy: you put people in a giant hamster ball. >> it is a $4.5 million arm. >> jimmy: and it's attached to a robot arm. >> yes, yes. and while you're being whipped around, you have to solve puzzles, mental challenges. because anybody can sit at a desk and go eh! let's see you do that when you get your brains scrambled. >> jimmy: did it really cost $4.5 million? >> $4.5 million, yeah. >> jimmy: you have to bring that on the road with you, crush other cars as you go out of the bus. so you have this big arm and you ask the questions, and it's fun. >> it's, people who did "american ninja warrior" wanted to come up with an obstacle course but instead of physical, for the mind. they came to me, we partnered
12:11 am
up. i produced the show for them. do you have the physical to with stand the pressure to be cerebral when it's all going to hell. >> jimmy: has anyone vomited in the ball? >> we had an actual astronaut from the international space station come in. he lasted one question. >> jimmy: really? that's not a great sign for the space station, is it? >> probably why he's not there anymore. >> jimmy: probably not. congratulations on the show. rob lowe, everybody. watch his show, it's called "mental samurai", tuesday nights on fox. we'll be right back with joey king.
12:12 am
♪ come on... (buzzer sounds) at some point, a line has to be drawn. nooooooooo! i'm sorrrrryyyyyy for us, that line is only delivering within five minutes of our stores. so your sandwich arrives freaky fresh®. it's nothing personal. it's because sandwich. nexgard chew comes power, confidence,
12:13 am
reassurance you're doing what's right to protect your dog from fleas and ticks for a full month. this one little nexgard chew is the #1 vet recommended protection. and it's the only chew fda approved to prevent infections that cause lyme disease. plus, it's safe for puppies. there's a lot of power in this one little nexgard chew. nexgard. what one little chew can do. [♪] nexgard. [♪] check your credit scores for free and learn how to improve them at creditkarma. here's to progress. sun care is self care. i used to not love wearing an spf just because i felt like it was so oily and greasy.
12:14 am
but with olay regenerist whip spf 25, it's so lightweight. i love it. i'm busy philipps, and i'm fearless to face anything. oh! oh! oh! ♪ ozempic®! ♪ (announcer) people with type 2 diabetes are excited about the potential of once-weekly ozempic®. in a study with ozempic®, a majority of adults lowered their blood sugar and reached an a1c of less than seven and maintained it. oh! under seven? and you may lose weight. in the same one-year study, adults lost on average up to 12 pounds. oh! up to 12 pounds? a two-year study showed that ozempic® does not increase the risk of major cardiovascular events like heart attack, stroke, or death. oh! no increased risk? ♪ oh, oh, oh, ozempic®! ♪ ozempic® should not be the first medicine for treating diabetes, or for people with type 1 diabetes or dbetic ketoidisha nr pee nest medicine for treating diabetes, do not take ozempic® if you have a personal or family history of medullary thyroid cancer, multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2,
12:15 am
or if you are allergic to ozempic®. stop taking ozempic® and get medical help right away if you get a lump or swelling in your neck, severe stomach pain, itching, rash, or trouble breathing. serious side effects may happen, including pancreatitis. tell your doctor if you have diabetic retinopathy or vision changes. taking ozempic® with a sulfonylurea or insulin may increase the risk for low blood sugar. common side effects are nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, stomach pain, and constipation. some side effects can lead to dehydration, which may worsen kidney problems. i discovered the potential with ozempic®. ♪ oh! oh! oh! ozempic®! ♪ ask your healthcare provider if ozempic® is right for you.
12:16 am
12:17 am
>> dicky: jimmy kimmel live is heading to las vegas from april 1st through april 5th. if you're going to be in the area and want to see the show, go to for tickets now. go to for tickets now. ♪ his! grab those command picture hanging strips and let's make it work. they're tool free and they hold strong. oh, rustic chic! an arrow angled to point at rustic chic. hmm, may i be honest here? let's take that down, damage free,
12:18 am
with a stretch, remove... and look: no marks, no mess. like a pro. command. do. no harm. like a pro. cheddar, jalapeno, and sour cream and onion... the spicy nacho stack. i wish i could stack pringles, but i don't have hands. or a mouth to... cool, play funkytown. (funkytown playing) there's a pringles stack for everyone... sort of. how about letting your hair down a little? how about a car for people who don't play golf? hey mercedes! mix it up a little. how about something for a guy who doesn't want a corner office? hey mercedes, i don't even own a tie. do you think i need a mahogany dashboard? hey mercedes, can you make it a little cooler in here? [ a-class ] i am setting the temperature [ a-class ] to 68 degrees. we hear you. we made a car that does, too. the all-new a-class. all-new thinking starting at $32,500. cake in the conference room! showing 'em you're ready to be your own boss. that's the beauty of your smile.
12:19 am
bring out the best in it with crest 3d white. crest removes 95% of surface stains... in just three days. hey, where's the food? what kind of meeting is this? there's no food, we just said that so you would show up. what?! no food? there's someone we think you should talk to. hey, dan! your coworkers told me you haven't done your taxes. i just want to say, you can call a turbotax live cpa for help. we'll help you get your refund and get back to your life. you'd really do that for me? yeah, dan. it's literally my job. thanks, guys! so, there's no snacks...nothing? i brought kale. turbotax live now with cpa's on demand. what would i say to somebody keep being you.? keep loving. keep aspiring. keep striving.
12:20 am
and ask your doctor about biktarvy. biktarvy is a complete one-pill, once-a-day treatment used for hiv in certain adults. it's not a cure, but with one small pill, biktarvy fights hiv with three different medicines to help you get to undetectable. that means the amount of virus is so low it can't be measured in lab tests. so keep pushing. keep creating. and keep pouring your soul into everything you do. serious side effects can occur, including kidney problems, and kidney failure. rare, life-threatening side effects include a build-up of lactic acid and liver problems. do not take biktarvy if you take dofetilide or rifampin. tell your doctor about all the medicines and supplements you take, if you are pregnant or breastfeeding, or if you have kidney or liver problems, including hepatitis. if you have hepatitis b, do not stop taking biktarvy without talking to your doctor. common side effects were diarrhea, nausea, and headache. if you're hiv-positive, keep loving who you are,
12:21 am
inside and out. ask your doctor if biktarvy is right for you. ♪
12:22 am
♪ >> jimmy: our next guest is a committed young actress who has shaved her head not once, but three times, all for the sake of acting, not lice. you can see her work in the true crime anthology series "the act." please welcome joey king! ♪
12:23 am
>> jimmy: joey, you're very young, correct? how old are you? >> i'm 19. >> jimmy: 19 years old. how old were you when you started acting? >> i was 4 years old. >> jimmy: did commercials? >> commercials and then it fell no film, you know. >> jimmy: when do you get that money, when you were a kid, were you allowed to spend the money that you earned from the commercials? >> i think with me in my family, like i wasn't allowed to have certain things when i was younger and because of that, i'm kind of late to the game of trends and things that are cool now. you know when heelys were cool, my sister had one, but i didn't. i'm 19. i can have a freakin' pair of heelys if i want a freakin' pair of heelys. >> jimmy: does everybody know
12:24 am
what heelys are? >> they're tennis shoes with a little wheel on the bottom. >> jimmy: the kids are walking and all of a sudden they start moving fast. >> exactly. i thought i was a master at them. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> but i don't think i am. >> jimmy: did you get hurt? >> yeah, what day is it? it's wednesday, right? >> jimmy: it's wednesday. >> this saturday i was like, i'm, my show is premiering this next week. i'm going to take myself to my favorite restaurant. i happened to wear my heelys that day. i was like by myself, mind you. i was walking into the restaurant, on the phone with my sister hunter, and i start wheelin'. and then i hit a little downhill slope on the sidewalk, feelin' good. >> jimmy: mm-hm. >> and i'm on the phone and i'm like, oh, my god, i'm on a downhill slope. and then i hit a crack in the cement.
12:25 am
and i've never flown through the air before, jimmy, but i flew through the air. >> jimmy: where is tmz when we need them. >> there was a tmz celebrity bus driving by. the first 80 degree weather day we've had in a while. the restaurant was packed. it was an outdoor restaurant. so many people. i face plant. i literally land like, i'm going to get down on the ground. i land like this. [cheers and applause] it was that fall. and everyone. i was so embarrassed, holy crap. everyone was like, oh, my god, are you okay? and i sprang up, and instead of being like oh, i'm okay, like the normal thing to say, i settled on saying, literally like this. i was like, it was bound to happen at some point. >> jimmy: you're lecturing yourself. >> it was like the weirdest delivery, too. i don't know what possessed me. and then i couldn't stand the
12:26 am
thought of facing all those people, so i left. >> jimmy: yeah, you have to leave. of course. >> i didn't eat there. >> jimmy: did you wheel all the way back? >> i walked on my tiptoes, because i was so nervous. >> jimmy: grab onto the back of the tmz bus. take me to the nearest celebrity estate. do you live with your family still? or do you have your own place? >> so i have a home, but my mom and my sister and her fiance live with me, and it's like the best. >> jimmy: oh, so you don't live with them, they live with you. >> they live with me, yeah. >> jimmy: wait, how many, your mom and your sister and her fiance. >> yes. >> jimmy: wow, that's a good deal of adults in the house. >> it's fantastic. >> jimmy: you love it though. >> we have a pretty -- >> jimmy: is your sister moving out when she gets married? >> i'm literally begging them not to. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> i want them to stay. >> jimmy: does her fiance want to stay in the house with all of you?
12:27 am
>> there he is, say hi, guys. >> jimmy: oh, do you want him -- i know you don't have a mic on, but nod yes if you want to stay. >> for joey, yeah. >> jimmy: that seemed like a no, really, but you guys will hash it out off the air. are you like maid of honor or something like that at the wedding? >> me and my oldest sister are co-maid of honoring. >> jimmy: oh. >> i realize how much responsibility a maid of honor has and how little i do any of it. >> jimmy: you're not throwing a shower or bachelorette party? >> i'm supposed to. >> jimmy: you have to. will you give a speech at the wedding? >> of course i'll give a speech. i'm so nervous and the wedding isn't until august. my oldest sister and i are co-maid of honoring, and she is so much like the planner, determined, smart, hard-working.
12:28 am
the minute she was asked to be maid of honor she was like, let's start planning. >> jimmy: she's only one who's not living with the family? >> she did for a while, she's like i can't take your psycho insanities. >> jimmy: you will give a speech in the heelys? >> i'm like deadweight in the financial portion where the budget goes and whatever, but i'm the one who when everyone else is planning, i'm like, yeah! woo! you're doin' great. >> jimmy: that's valuable, too. so you have this show. and the story behind it, this is something i'm interested, munchausen by proxy. >> yes. >> jimmy: explain what that is. >> so it is a disorder where if you have it you feel you need to force upon illness upon someone who doesn't have it to make yourself feel needed.
12:29 am
>> jimmy: typically your child. >> typically your child, a mother/daughter relationship. i play the child. patricia arquette plays the mother. >> jimmy: is this a real story? >> it's base td on a true story. forcefully, she made gypsy sit in a wheelchair her whole life. made her shave her head even though she didn't have cancer. >> jimmy: and in a way, not only did she make her shave her head, she by proxy made you shave your head. >> made me shave my head, i know! >> jimmy: it's crazy. we have a photograph here. that's patricia arquette, and that's you. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's really something. who has this painting? i think this will make a wonderful wedding gift for your sister. maybe they should put that on their registry, know what i'm saying? >> i don't know who has the painting but i did steal something from set. >> jimmy: what did you steal? >> there's a very important teddy bear in the show. his name is mr. puddles.
12:30 am
and when we wrapped filming i scaled the fence and stole the teddy bear. >> jimmy: it's a great lesson. kids, if you see something, take it and figure it out later. >> just take it. >> jimmy: joey king! "the act" is available now on hulu. and we'll return with music from catfish and the bottlemen. ♪ >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.
12:31 am
12:32 am
alwould you like a desk chair, weekends off, or the bathroom code? yes, please! which one? it's time to get more. lower fares. better service. sweeter rewards. alaska airlines. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: thanks to rob lowe and joey king. apologies to matt damon. nightline is next, but first, their album is called "the balance" here with the song "longshot," catfish and the bottlemen! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ go a-head and tell me you got
12:33 am
all you want fiver says you're wrong ♪ ♪ and i suppose you've come down to help me move things along and we lapped it up ♪ ♪ and we're wise enough to know how it goes forgive me honey ♪ ♪ but we're wise enough to know how it goes forgive me honey ♪ ♪ 'cause we know this feeling all a little too well listen the distance between us ♪ ♪ could've took a while once we closed that difference you turned up like ♪ ♪ a friend of mine every once in a while the little things make me smile ♪ ♪ as if one of our longshots paid off one of our longshots paid off ♪ ♪ so yeah go a-head and tell me
12:34 am
something real ♪ ♪ come on how'd you feel and i suppose you've come down to help me ♪ ♪ answer to the riddle to the riddle why we laughed it off and we're wise enough ♪ ♪ who knows how it goes forgive me honey but we're wise ♪ ♪ enough to know how it goes forgive me honey 'cause we know this ♪ ♪ feeling all a little too well listen the distance between us ♪ ♪ could've took a while once we closed that difference you turned up like a friend of mine ♪ ♪ every once in a while the little things make me smile ♪ ♪ as if one of our longshots paid off one of our ♪ ♪ longshots paid off and it's by
12:35 am
the by if it makes those nights fine ♪ ♪ we were side by side again and now we're all careless and loved up ♪ ♪ you know exactly how it g when you're giving us all kind of reason ♪ ♪ thought i had to go follow the heart i believe in 'cause one of us must know when you're giving ♪ ♪ us all kind of reason thought i had to go follow the heart i believe in 'cause when the past ♪ ♪ it's done me good so good ♪ listen the distance between us could've took a while once we closed ♪ ♪ that difference you turned up like a friend of mine every once
12:36 am
- in a while ♪ ♪ the little things make me smile as if one of our longshots ♪ ♪ paid off listen the distance between us could've took a while ♪ ♪ once we closed that difference you turned up like a friend of mine ♪ ♪ every once in a while the little things make me smile ♪ ♪ as if one of our longshots paid off one of our longshots paid off one of our longshots ♪ ♪ paid off [cheers and applause]
12:37 am
this is "nightline." tonight, it was a picture perfect marriage. >> he was presenince charming a she fell for him hard. >> shattered in an instant. a young mother stabbed to death. was her husband to blame? digging up secrets from the grave. >> the first thing i'm looking at, well, her contact lens case is open. >> how looking in her eyes police believe they could see her killer. >> i did not kill my wife. >> now free fromni fro his secod wife. "nightline" will be right back. e right back.


info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on