tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC April 17, 2019 11:35pm-12:37am PDT
>> for sandhya, larry, all of us here, thanks for joining us. >> have a good night. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight -- gina rodriguez. from "game of thrones", isaac hempstead wright. and nikolaj coster-waldau. plus music from rüfus du sol. and now, hold tight, jimmy kimmel. ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: thank you very much. very nice. thank you. hi there. hi, i'm jimmy. i'm the host. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. it's wonderful to have you here. let me tell you something, i want you to know. [cheers and applause] i want, i want you to know, and
i want each one of you to know that you are accepted into this audience on your own merits, and not because your parents paid somebody to get you in here. you did this yourself, and you should be really proud. i'm sure you have been following this college admissions scandal, known as operation varsity blues, which is of particular interest, because some of the parents who were charged are famous. felicity huffman, the actress is one. she pleaded guilty last week to conspiracy to commit fraud, and she could be facing jail time. prosecutors are seeking a sentence of four to ten months for her. i don't know, maybe when she's in prison she can do some good. maybe she can help some of her fellow inmates cheat on their geds. felicity huffman is married to another actor, william h. macy, who i guess is about to get the house all to himself. but it is kind of crazy. she's going to prison and he
isn't, because she's the one who took the time to do the paperwork. can you imagine the conversations those two must be having about this? my wife gets mad when i leave a dish in the sink, okay? huffman admitted to paying $15,000 to improve her daughter's s.a.t. score. i think they should make it more interesting. put the parents in jail until the kid gets a perfect score on the s.a.t. [cheers and applause] maybe like once every ten days they can take the test, and then, and on then, might take a week, might take 30 years. we don't know. meanwhile the mueller report is coming. tomorrow we finally get to see the highly anticipated and highly-redacted release. how much will be hidden? we do not know. political analysts are going to try to read through these redactions like teenage boys trying to watch porn on
scrambled cable in 1985. don't worry, the department of justice september out justice sent out a handy video to help. >> excited to read the mueller report? us too. we made a few minor redactions. material related to national security will be redacted in black. grand jury testimony in red. information about the president's skin care regimen in orange. green for money laundering, dark green for more money laundering. anything for russian hookers, yellow, and any references to the president's weight will be covered in globs of barbecue sauce. the mueller report, you'll take what we give you, and you'll [ bleep ] like it, okay? [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: and with all this going on, this is what was on
the president's mind. he weighed in last night with a prediction and nicknames for his opponents. he wrote, i believe it will be crazy bernie sanders versus sleepy joe biden as the two finalists to run. is joe biden sleepy? i don't know, to me, he always looks like he's been up for two days eating cigarettes. and the president has already used sleepy on chuck todd. he used it on ben carson. he used it on graven carter and jeb bush. trump thinks anyone who doesn't main line adderall and kwocoke day is sleepy. crazy bernie and sleepy joe aren't even mean. they sound like characters in a bruce springsteen song, you know? i'm always interested in how the president comes up with these nicknames. we reached out to the west wing and believe it or not we got a response from trump's communication staff. he's agreed to speak with us
tonight. please say hello to to to to too the reason i contacted you, i was wondering who comes up with all the nicknames trump gives his opponents. >> i do. >> jimmy: how do you come up with these nicknames? >> i start with a name and then give it the dwarf test. >> jimmy: what is the dwarf test? >> i sigh ee if the name works one of the seven dwarfs. sleepy, grumpy, haven't had a sneezy yet. saving that one for beto o'rourke. >> jimmy: oh, does beto o'rourke sneeze a lot? >> does beto sneeze? that's the worst-kept secret in washington.
the man has hay feever. >> jimmy: i did not know that. >> now you do. that's what makes these nicknames so great. >> jimmy: i guess so. >> anyhow, after i give the dwarf test, i give a classic, something like low iq or crazy or sometimes i'll call someone whacky, if i'm feeling naughty. >> jimmy: and are you feeling naughty right now? >> i am. >> jimmy: do you think these nicknames will actually help trump win reelection. >> let me ask you something, how's your friend crooked hillary enjoying life notiin th woods? >> jimmy: i don't think she's enjoying it at all. >> i don't think she is, thanks to me. >> jimmy: do you have anything for the new guy, pete buttigieg? >> nothing basically funny about the name. but, as a matter of fact, i've been thinking about calling him
sneaky pete. >> jimmy: sneaky pete. >> did you know he's a gay? >> jimmy: well, yes, i did. he's very open about that, about it. >> he is? >> jimmy: yeah. >> why? >> jimmy: why wouldn't he be? >> why wouldn't he be? because he's gay. what the hay already with this stuff? >> jimmy: well, it's -- >> in my day, if you were gay, you kept that zipped up. >> jimmy: it's a different day now. thank you for talking with us and shedding some insight on this for us. >> don't mention it, squinty jim. >> jimmy: oh, come on. >> did i catch you in the middle of a nap? >> jimmy: no. no. thank you, len. squinty jim. that's my pirate name. hey, this is a national emergency the president needs to do something about.
have you seen the leaked "avengers" footage? "end game" doesn't come out until friday, but footage has been making the way around online. and those who directed the film are asking for respect for the films and pointed out if they wanted the movie spoiled they would have put matt damon in it. they could have done it. but they said please. [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: i don't want to ruin it, but my question about the avengers and the marvel universe is, do the olympics exist? and if so, why aren't you guys dominating those events? if i was spiderman, i'd also be on the lakers. that's how i look at it. anyway, please don't spoil "avengers end game somethin". and also, i haven't seen "the sixth sense". here's something for you if you want to drop a few million
dollars on ebay. somebody is selling a baby t-rex fossil on ebay. it was on display at the university of kansas. but the owners decided to sell it, and it is available for the buy it now price of $2.95 million. which, you do not want to accidently press that one. and, it offers free local pickup, too. yeah, swing by my condo, i'll help you load it in your subaru. you know that thing's going to end up on the wall of a hooters wearing sunglasses and a party hat, right? [ applause ] you know, many people, a lot of people think this thing belongs in a museum, but however you feel about it, i want to say congratulations to nicolas cage on his awesome new umbrella stamp. we have a team at our office here, and their job is to comb through local news footage. every day they watch hours of
local news. they're a very sad group of people, but every now and then they hit on something, and they came across a nice little diamond from a local station in mississippi where things got stormy between chief meteorologist matt and a non-chief meteorologist named john. >> this is a tornado likely along stone boulevard. now my cat died last week, and i know this well, we took him to the vet school down there a number of times. we believe this is a tornado, significant tornado on the ground. john, john, i need you off the phone, i need you to check r da raydar. and i need you to see if i need to stay on this. it's ripping through a town. now we do have reports, john?oh? we do now have reports from the mathson area. >> jimmy: john's all over the studio, i guess. he's on this side, he's over there, he may have killed that
guy's cat. there's a lot of pent up weather anger, and there's more. >> now what is that? okay. we need to verify that. that could potentially be a tornado debris signature there. on storm track doppler radar, you know what happened, john? in the five minutes we didn't have radar data, it produced a tornado. >> jimmy: thanks for the tornado, john. [ applause ] poor john. john might want to post his resume on linked in right now. so we, we decided to do an experiment, you know, we got coachella coming this week, and we thought we'd do something educational tonight. millennials are very good when it comes to stuff like posting selfies, but there are some skills that they lack. so we went out on the street this afternoon and asked some people, can you open a can of
paint. now this is a regular can of house paint. not so hard, use a flat head screwdriver. let's see if these passersby can figure out how to open a can of paint. ♪ >> i got a question for you. >> what's the question. >> can you open a can of paint? >> i can. i'm from mississippi. yeah, i know how to open a can of paint. ♪ >> get your back into it. >> oh, no, man. this won't open it. it. it. it.. >> mind blown. oh, i'm not strong enough, okay. >> can you open a can of paint? >> just like that? no, yeah, you can, but not like that. do you want me to open it, like? >> you can use some of the tools, if you
>> gross. >> i can't open this. >> you sure you're from mississippi. >> yeah, i'm from mississippi, but i don't know how to open this can of paint. >> come on, guys, give him somen couragement. he's almost there. >> guys, i'm failing at this. i give up. >> so close. >> i was defeat the by the can of >> oh, that's great, that's great. now go ahead and close it up for me. >> oh, come on. why you could do me like that? [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: they're learning. they're young. >> jimmy: tonight on the show,
we have music from rufus du sol. gina rodriguez is here. and from "game of thrones" isaac hempstead wright. but first, it's time for three ridiculous questions with another game of throneser, nikolaj coster-waldau. ♪ >> what's the funniest-sounding danish word? >> -- >> what does that mean? >> like porridge. >> spell it for me. >> r, well, there's a letter you don't have, it's an o with a thing. >> do you not have any of the letters we have? >> no, we have all yours. >> why do you have more letters? >> you have more words, though. >> we do? >> yeah. >> all right! have you ever seen a mini
novelty license plate with your name on it? >> i have not. have you seen one with yours? >> of course, my name's jimmy, one of the most common names there is. >> do you have your own license plate? >> you mean like a personalized license plate? >> yes, that's what it's called. >> yes, but it's just a series of random numbers. how many lamps in a hotel room is too many lamps? >> it's always seven. seven's too much. >> i think so. >> what would your number be? >> four. three maybe. >> you have ever been in a place where you could go -- and it would go out? >> you mean heaven? not yet, but i hope to get there one day. let's have a toast to heaven. i hope they have no lamps. one lamp is good. >> dicky: white walker by johnnie walker. the answer to all of life's ridiculous questions. what?! i'm here to steal ar
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♪ >> jimmy: tonight, from "game of thrones," isaac hempstead wright is here. he plays bran stark. then, their album is called "solace." rufus du sol from the mercedes-benz outdoor stage. you can see rufus du sol on tour saturday, at the santa barbara bowl. tomorrow night, lionel richie, lil dickie, sharon horgan and rob delaney, and music from lizzo. our first guest won a golden globe for her performance as jane the virgin on the show "jane the virgin", which served as an inspiration to virgins everywhere, especially those named jane. now she is producer and star of the new romantic comedy "someone great."
it is available starting friday on netflix. please welcome gina rodriguez. ♪ [cheers and applause] >> yes! >> jimmy: how are you? you look fantastic. >> thank you, thank you. [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: they're excited. and probably, i would imagine that for a lot of people, you know, they know that this is your last season of "jane the virgin". >> yeah. >> jimmy: have you finished wrapping up the show? >> no, we are filming the finale this week. >> jimmy: oh, really? are people getting sad? is it starting to hit you guys? >> i feel like during our last table read it started to hit everybody. everybody was bawling, and then it was like game time. had to keep putting out good work. and i think it will hit me on
the last day we wrap. >> jimmy: you don't think on that last day, maybe you guys don't like each other anymore. >> i can't stand them, you know? no, i'm very, very blessed. i have an incredible cast and we all love each other. we're going to stay in touch and it doesn't feel like good-bye. and god willing, the cw picks it up. so there's still life there. >> jimmy: have you selected an item that you want to take home as a memento from the show? >> you know, when i heard that this was real i started putting post its on everything, like gina's, and then i was like, how about i take the whole stage. we are producing a show called "diary of a female president." >> jimmy: so you didn't just take something from the set, you took the set. >> yeah. >> jimmy: how about that? >> it's going to be surreal being there in a different
space. >> jimmy: i can see you in 30 years, what am i going to do with this set, it's in my house. jane lost her virginity already, you can't take that with you. >> no, that's long gone. >> jimmy: we talked about your dad, i know your dad from boxing. he's a boxing referee, a pretty famous boxing referee, too. how is he do being? he he's retired now? >> what he's doing, i'm not exactly sure. i think he's helping sanction muay tai. >> jimmy: do you get nervous about your fiance being a fight other? >> at first this was bad, and i felt like i was going to vomit the whole time. and then he destroyed his opponent. >> jimmy: that helps.
>> and i was like, oh. you're good. so then the second fight turned into, like [ bleep ] rip his head off! >> jimmy: yeah. >> so it went from vomit to rip his [ bleep ]. am i allowed to say that? >> jimmy: do you get seated near the other fiances or wives or whatever, and when there's a fight like that, are you in close proximity to them? >> yeah, i am. and i am a prideful fiance. >> jimmy: yeah. >> there is no stopping me. >> jimmy: is there any possibility that it may turn into fisticuffs in the crowd? >> i would definitely. >> jimmy: you would? >> lay down if anybody would say anything. >> jimmy: you don't lay down. you throw down, right? why is she laying down? >> you handle that. >> jimmy: the floor is dirty. is it called lay down now? >> i don't now, now you're making me feel old.
i don't fwhwhat to say. it's throw down. >> jimmy: i don't think it's lay down unless you really don't want to fight. you lay down, pretend to be unconscious and everyone goes home. >> that's a move. >> jimmy: that's probably the way to go. >> oh, wow. >> jimmy: where was this photograph taken? >> after he won the championship belt this summer. >> jimmy: and that's blood on his face? >> yeah, and on mine. >> jimmy: that's from the kiss. so you've tasted his blood. you guys really are close, i guess. >> no, we're just trying to be that kind of couple. >> jimmy: is the wedding in the planning stages right now? or are you not there yet? >> i, if i could, we can just go get married like right after this. >> jimmy: oh, really, you mean the two of us or him and you? >> well, i mean, we -- i didn't know how many offers i would get. >> jimmy: i'm going to get beat up. i'm going to have to lay down. [cheers and applause]
>> jimmy: i don't know if joe's back there, but joe, i don't want any trouble. >> we're going to add this to our repertoire. you lay it down. >> jimmy: you lay it down. >> you lay down the business. >> jimmy: you didn't say it, though. >> i just say lay down. you heard it, right? it was mixed in. >> jimmy: yeah, i don't think you have a consensus on that. >> it didn't feel like i did either, but i was hoping the first round of applause i got. >> jimmy: so you would like to elope, that would be your thing, to get it over with. >> yeah, we were at the golden globes this past year, and i loved my dress so much, and i was like how can i keep this dress, i'll elope in it, take a picture. but we ready to run off that night. >> jimmy: you have to have a thing, though, right? it's part of. i have a theory on it. >> okay. i need all the theories. >> jimmy: it's part of the challenge. if you run off and get married, it's easy. but staying together through dealing with the in-laws and the
catering and where everybody sits and whose cousin is coming and his mother invites her hairdresser and all that stuff, they're all part of the hurdles you have to clear in order to get married. >> ho! wow, see. >> jimmy: ho? >> sweatin'. so that's what it is, it's a challenge is what you're telling me. >> jimmy: kind of, it's like an obstacle course. that's what i'm saying. >> okay, i'll take on that challenge. squoip wi . >> jimmy: with that said, i did get divorced. i mean, i'm married now to a wonderful woman. >> and baby jane. >> jimmy: and a baby jane who is a virgin by the way. >> >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by halo top. delicious ice cream with around 300 calories per pint.
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career girl over here doing the damn thing, getting it done. and he just didn't want to do long distance. >> wow. >> mm-hm. >> really? with face time and high-speed internet? >> that's what i said. >> i mean, that's [ bleep ]ed up. >> thank you. that's what i said. >> jimmy: gina rodriguez in "someone great as". the idea is you're moving from new york to san francisco. and you have one big night. >> he breaks up with me, and there's a choice of, do you try to patch up the past in or do you choose yourself and like the opportunities of your future, and i know personally, there were so many times that i chose myself. and i think in rom-coms, we seldom see that, we see the man saving the woman, and here it's her girls, friendship, and
choosing her career and the next step for herself, even though it is what it is. but it's debauchery. it's so much fun. >> jimmy: were you a debaucherist young person when were you in high school, college, those ages? >> i, this is my psa. >> jimmy: oh, good, really? >> yeah, i need the rainbow. >> jimmy: the rainbow comes at the end. >> in my memory. i was a mess. i thank god that i am here today. i did a lot of crazy things. >> jimmy: like what kind of crazy things? >> i'm not going to talk about them here. >> jimmy: dangerous things? >> dangerous things. i thought about it recently as i'm going into this marriage life, i'm like, oh, my god, please don't die on me. i used to race cars, i used to drag race in chicago. >> jimmy: on the street? >> on the train tracks. don't do what i did. or do it but don't get caught. >> jimmy: whose car did you race?
>> mine and my mother's. >> jimmy: what kind of car did your mother have? >> she had a volvo. volvos are fast, y'all. but i did a lot of crazy things. >> jimmy: was it a station wagon? >> it wasn't a station wagon, it was a turbo f series. i'm in trouble for so many years. >> jimmy: did she know? >> she did not. until right now. >> jimmy: oh, really. >> no, no, no. i used to play pool for money. i used to kind of shark when i was in high school for college. >> jimmy: would you win? >> oh, yes. you want to pull it out, we'll go right now. >> jimmy: i'm not doubting. but did you race against guys? there aren't many women doing that kind of thing. >> there weren't many women in chicago, on the south side of chicago at the age of 16 like i was. but we went hard. >> jimmy: were you racing for pink slips? >> i always wanted to say that is correct hand over your pink
slip, honey, but it was like 40 bucks, 50 bucks. i go back to that place, and i go, what were you thinking? i love me. >> jimmy: yeah. ♪ i want to stay alive >> i started singing to myself, what's happening here. memory lane's been happening a lot for me, especially with jean ending, and "someone great" coming out on friday. yeah, woo! [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: for now, jump in a lyft or something. >> yes, yes, very slow driving. >> jimmy: gina rodriguez. "something great" is available friday on netflix. we'll be back with isaac hempstead wright. ♪
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♪ >> jimmy: eight years ago today, our next guest was thrown from a window after accidentally stumbling upon the most popular moment of incest in tv history. "game of thrones" is now in its final season, sunday nights on hbo. please welcome the three-eyed raven himself, isaac hempstead wright. [cheers and applause] ♪ >> jimmy: hi. i have to say, i know it's a weird -- [cheers and applause] it's a weird thing to say, but it's very good to see you walking. >> nice to be able to walk, yeah. >> jimmy: you walking is an odd sight, i guess. i imagine people are surprised by that. >> yeah, the first thing is my, how you've grown, and you can walk. that's what people say to me. >> jimmy: how old were you when
you started on "game of thrones"? >> i was 10. i did like a commercial before and then "game of thrones." >> jimmy: i was thinking about this. i actually think about that scene, now that jamie lannister's kind of become a somewhat good guy or whatever, and you remember, oh, yeah, he shoved a child out of the window. you being that child. what do you remember at 10 years old about like, did they tell you what you were looking at? >> yeah, no, i was pretty much told what was going on. >> jimmy: oh, you were. >> but it just sort of meant that my mom had to give me the zebs ta sex talk a little earlier. and some topics that usually aren't covered. >> jimmy: when a brother and sister are very much in love. >> don't act on it. >> jimmy: that is a little weird. where are you from originally? where did you grow up? >> i grew up in kent, which is the countryside in england. >> jimmy: in kent.
and you got into school acting? >> i found soccer club too cold. i thought what else can i do? drama club. and yeah, i was able to do six auditions. and i just enjoyed being part of the drama club. and my sixth audition was for this hbo pilot. and i knew what none of those words meant, for "game of thrones." >> jimmy: how old are you now? >> 20. >> jimmy: so half of your life. >> half of my life ever. >> jimmy: most of your conscious life. >> yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: nobody remembers what they were doing when they're 3. this is your whole thing. >> it's all downhill from here. >> jimmy: are you in college now? >> no, well, i -- >> jimmy: good, good. >> i did start college. i gave it a shot. but it was -- >> jimmy: you dropped out? >> i did. >> jimmy: good, i'm glad you did. i don't know why these, why go
to college, what's the point of this now? you're an actor. focus on that, right? why did you drop out of college? >> well, it was really hard to juggle it with filming season it's, b eight, but it was also overwhelming with students who were very, very big "game of thrones" fans. >> jimmy: they see you coming and they have a million questions. >> i can remember when i first arrived at my halls of residence, my flat mate opened the door and looked at me in this slightly stunned expression and i went down to get more some stuff, and they had a flat conference, like oh, my god, the raven is in our flat. >> jimmy: what about the teachers, did they treat you differently? >> not really, except they were more interested in talking to me and trying to get spoilers. one time i dropped a massive spoiler, when i was talking with my teacher, yeah, yeah, yeah, y,
become friends with this guy, and he's dead now. and they're like, he's not dead, he's very much alive. >> jimmy: it's hard for a kid to keep secrets like that. you're not used to that pressure. in fact i peopfeel like i could crack you right now. >> try me. >> jimmy: it seems that bran is kind of the key to the whole thing. you've heard all these right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: do you think bran is 100% good? >> i don't know, i think he's the three-eyed raven definitely on the side of the living. >> jimmy: definitely on the side of the living. that's interesting, because a lot of people think bran might be the night king. bran's not the night king? >> i can neither confirm nor deny. >> jimmy: i think that you've confirmed that he's not, right? if he's on the side of the
living, unless the night king is some sort of weird double agent. >> who says the night king's dead. >> jimmy: oh, what? >> help me, hbo! >> jimmy: so the end of the episode on sunday night, now this we can talk about, because this happened already, are you, your character, you're sitting there, and there's jamie lannister, and you haven't seen him since he gave you that shove right out the window, that was, i assume things are not weird between you guys as actors, right? >> >> jimmy: but the look you gave him was like, oh, hello. >> kind of this intense stare, but it's aided by the fact that i'm completely blind when i'm on set because i don't have my glasses and i don't have contact lenses. >> jimmy: how thick are the glasses? >> they're not that thick but i can't see anything.
and i remember one time, they said you're stare, you're staring in my soul. and i was like, i can't see you. >> jimmy: yeah, that skill will come in handy in the future. when, when your eyes roll back in your head, is that an effect? or is that something that you do? >> it's an effect, but i can do it. i always offer it. >> jimmy: would you do it for us? we don't have any effects. [cheers and applause] ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: that's pretty good. did that develop? or is that just sk you comethin can do? i don't know if i could do it. let me give it a try. am i doing it? >> not bad. >> jimmy: you know, they call me squinty eyed jim. i love the show, you do a fantastic job on it, and i look forward to seeing what's next. who knows, maybe you'll be one of the spinoff shows, huh?
i've slain your dreaded dragon. for saving the kingdom what doth thou desire? my lord? hey good knight. where are you going? ♪ ♪ climbing up on solsbury hill ♪ grab your things, salutations. coffee that is a cup above is always worth the quest. nespresso. tis all i desire. did thou bring enough for the whole kingdom? george: nespresso, what else? (vo) ♪ i know what you're thinking. electric, it's not for you. and, you're probably right. electric just doesn't have enough range. it will never survive the winter. charging stations? good luck finding one of those. so, maybe an electric car isn't for you after all.
or, is it? ♪ >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: i want to thank gina rodriguez and isaac hempstead wright, apologies to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next, but first, this is their album. it's called "solace." here with the song "treat you better," rüfus du sol. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ every night i take myself to where the skies are blue to where we swam ♪
you better i just wanna treat you better ♪ ♪ i want your love and i want it bad i just wanna treat you better ♪ ♪ i just wanna treat you better i know that the words don't change it ♪ ♪ i know that your heart keeps aching i just wanna treat you better ♪ ♪ i just wanna treat you better even when the light can't find me ♪ ♪ i know that the sun keeps shining i just wanna treat you better ♪ ♪ i just wanna treat
you better i just wanna treat you better ♪ ♪ i just wanna treat you better i just wanna treat you better ♪ ♪ i just wanna treat you better i want your love and i want it bad ♪ ♪ i just wanna treat you better i just wanna treat you better ♪ ♪ i want your love and i want it bad i just wanna treat you better ♪ ♪ i just wanna treat you better [cheers and applause]
this is "nightline." tonight, finding my child. the human toll of the zero tolerance policy that separated families. the journey of two fathers and their children detained crossing into the u.s. the parents deported. the children left behind. something the administration denied. >> there is no parent who has been deported, to my knowledge, without multiple opportunities to take their children with them. >> but this father says that's simply not true and is heading back to find his son. plus, inside the facility. rare access as our cameras show the reality inside an immigration detention center. and tears of joy. what it took to get to this moment.