tv The Late Show With Stephen Colbert CBS February 23, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am PST
>> we're your local election headquarters. donald trump with 43%. rubio 24%. cruz 22% of the vote and ben carson had 5% and john kasich 3% of the vote from the dw. o.p. >> a quarter of the presipghtsthe in. donaldwh trump is pro dwrect jeghted as the winner. >> patrick walker is outside the t.i. where donald trump just gave a speak. >> reporter: although donald trump was gracious in thanking his friends and family sent a message with his victory speech with each early state victories, he's getting the larger and larger share and he fires a few shots regarding that. suddenly -- he said he'll do well in ohio, that's
and he's looking good if texas alluding to a head-to-head with cruz in that state and told supporters other candidates dropping out only make himey stronger. >> tonight we had 45 and 56%. tomorrow you'll hear if they could just take the othering candidates and add them up. if you can add them up because you knowut the other candidates amount to 55%! so if they can just -- they keepk forgettinge that when people drop out, woor gating in votes. we love you! >> now we look ahead at super tuesday. 12 states are going. we'll see if anyone can keep up. if you have any indication onat theor supporters inside treasure island, it was a packed crowd of people coming down into the casino floor. a lot of momentum donald trump
on that going into supernd tuesday. >>ce florida senator rubio feeling good about his second place jo finish. >> u his campaign addressed supporters not long ago.n) we're) joined live with that te story. >> reporter: although donald trump won the nevada caucusbi rubio's team call it a success. he's gearing up and his team for super tuesday one week from tonight. a packed restaurant of rubioch supporters looked on as donald trump gave his speech. they're still celebrating the delegates rubio took in.s. a lot of people call the race the fight for antitrump votes. at any timea rubio's team sayingo b it's a pro-american vote to to unite america and continue to be a world power.
it helps keep rubio as a strongru candidate. >> thed m great thing is thatthe nevada has made it clear thatniz the voters have two choices donald trump and marco rubio.*$bk the other candidates shouldsul acknowledge that. >> we asked why senator rubio left nevada before results andg f his staff says he's gearing for for super tuesday.re they said he spent a lot of money and still didn't come in number one. rubio's campaign staff, we asked them about that jab from democrats can he they they're targeting rubio and thot others because they've he's -- not// other candidates because he's a threat to the democrats. >> let's go over to our panel.
>> thanks. let me welcome back to the show the president of his hispanic politics. amie, the former chairwoman of the nevada republican party and alan stock king of talk radio kxmp. was tonight a success for rubio? fehrdo you think it's a second is this. >> the surprising thing is that the numbers were not hire, but nonetheless, i think most of us were hoping for first, but most people would settle for second spot. and it did just that. he did it pretty good against tud cruz ted cruz cruz who has been hammering since the whole campaign.
i don't know how he did among hispanics, we'll have to find out but i'm pleased. >> ted cruz coming in third place a couple of points behind roobio, he obviously wanted to do better. but eventually, ted cruz pointed out his victory speech we'll call it that he has won a primary. that donald trump has won. rubio hasn't won one yet. is this a victory for him? >> he's second place but ahead of cruz. right now it's a three-person race for all intents and purposes. donald trump, cruz and rubio. after a week from tonight on super tuesday, it's going to come down to maybe a two person race. if cruz can't take his own state of texas, it's going to be between trump and rubio and the
trying to knock trump off the cifng the hill off the throne. >> i'm told that cruz is not that far behind rubio in nevada. amy, i know that you're a kasich supporter so you pronl don't want to hear it's a three percent race. that #% was you. >> and you know -- 3 -- that 3% was you. our location started late unfortunately. the volunteers there did a tremendous job so we actually didn't get to do a full conversation or a full caucus. >> probably if you give them more time. governor sandoval turned out for rubio. but i stressed this was not an
he cast his vote for rubio. can you do that? >> he's trying to have his cake and eat it too. he's trying to have it both ways. govern considerplease. >> -- governor, please. >> he said he's looking for someone with executive experience. >> that is governor kasich. he has legislative experience and federal experience. he was a member of the house for 18 qers. he's had -- 18 years. budge. >> rubio has -- position. >> he's an executive lierd. >>leader.
>> i wonder if donald trump gets the nomination and picks rubio as v.p.? >> i think -- instead of rubio. >> you know, i would not be surprised because nothing surprised me. but more from our panel but right mow let's go back to dave and paula for more results and election coverage. >> are they blaming the media? votes are still rolling in. >> we'll check in with paul
it look like donald trump has a 42% shaifort vote. rubio with 24% and cruz 23%. the last two to bring up the rear ben carson and john kasich. that's how it stands right now. the votes are still being counted. >> let's check in at election headquarters. >> the bigger toy here is that the gap between rubio and cruz is narrowing. it was once a four point margin. rubio with a 4 point lead over cruz now i hear the difference now 200 vote margin. also donald trump's impressive 46% point lead. now down to 42% of the vote. crilg downclark county with 16% of the precincts reporting.
vote. rubio with 23. cruz with 18 in clark county. washo couldn'ty with 35% of the precincts reporting donald trump p 45%. 45%. so interesting change in numbers as more of the precincts report in. >> thank you, paul. what time do we expect 100 percent of the vote? envelope i think to vote? >> i think to find out out we.. have to wait in the early morning hours. ben carson gough a speech ton
>> donald trump has a decisive win in the nevada tb. o.p. caucus. 42% of the voters marco rubio and ted cruz. and we have results, iat believe -- no we don't. but we did have a small showing from john kasich and ben carson. i believe they had 5%. c >> earlier tonight ben carson did spook at the embassyro sweets. >> b karen castro was will... >> paula and dave, ben carson told supporters he's not going to end his bid. carson spoke to i a small group ofur supporters shortly after donald trump was declared the winner.g the neurosurgeon started by thanking everyone who hased supported him along the way.ibl he told the crowd his entire life he has faced difficult situations that may seem
excited to confront them head on. >> don't say it's all done, it's all over. but you know what? i believe that they're wrong. what will eventually happen and i don't think we're too far away from it is that the people -- we the people will actually want to hear real solutions.en >> solutions. carson told his supporters he saw a lot of enthusiasm today. we caught up with him at coronado high school where hee n was confronted by a tough question from a young caucus participate. >>sam participate. >> if you were not running for president, who would you vote for? >> that's the same question the media tries to get me on, i don't know. >> i also caught up with ben carser for a minute before results came in.
he loses in nevada?pect he says he'll still go to texas. >> some pundits expected carson to fold tonight. >> yes and that kid has a future in media. a lot of people say carson should have dropped out a couple of weeks ago. he's still around. what do you think? people were thinking hey, tonight is the night, we are a going to cover his speech because that's his last speech. still around. >> i mean, if he's still fund raising, why not keep going. he has plenty of people interested in his message. i think at my precinct alone, he did a fairly job. keep going. who am i to say drop out? >> the ted cruz when they implied that he was dropping out of the race, spending his campaign, that's going to get
he didn't like that. it seems luke maybe now he's continuing out of spite to say hey, they said i'm getting out but i'm still standing. >> i think amy is right. i think he's only staying in so long as long as he has so much money and support. one week from today is super tuesday and after -- one week from tomorrow you'll see carson and kasich drop out and it will be a three-person race after that. neither one of them can stay in. they have no momentum. >> should he drop out? >> he showed all this energy. i just don't know why he's doing it. i think he's running for surgeon general or -- but it's one of those things that is an enigma because he should have dropped
he's probably trying to get back at ted cruz i feel that those who vote for ben carson would normally vote for ted cruz. he may be doing the it out of rancor or -- but -- >> we'll see if alan's prediction is correct. right now we'll send it back to dave and paula at the desk. >>na we'll have more coverage of
government and how it operate. so the thinking was that that has benefited donald trump. not necessarily exclusively trump because the other candidates have talked about how the federal government isn't that great. >> right. don't forget trump also was going to have 39 to 40% ask now he has 45% bu yet he's the one tapped into the anger and upset with the government. the rest have not been able to grasp it look he has. he's got ton the people's gut more than their head. it's succeeded for him and did tonight if nevada. >> counting is going on. it looks like cruz may have overcome marco rubio and may have leapfrogged him. forget that literary reference from riem of the ancient
>> i am. mawko rubio did well in my precinct and cruz was far behind. >> fernando? >> i'm not prize it happened in new hampshire. finally rubio found up with the lead. >> so you think -- >> the last i heard was 5% of the precinct. so i think eventually rubio will come out ahead. >> whoever comes out number three, is -- that is not good for them, right? >> i think in the eyes of many, you're right. it would have to be trump and number two, that's it. but let. >> mia: say that marco got the governor although maybe not. he's getting individuals who
feel that he and bush more or less share the philosophies and will share the support. >> there are pros and cons to those endorse ps because you have people who are angry and frustrated with the way thepe government has been handling themselves. to have those types of endorsements like the u.s. senator or governor don't bode well with folks. >> looking ahead to super tuesday.s n if ted cruzn.c has to win win texas. >> absolutely. >> he has to take his own state. if he can't take his own state, you should pack it up. >> bernie has to win vermont. >> he has vermont and the only other state -- i looked in the polls yesterday that is west virginia because they've within boroughing pot in the back
why he's betting we west virginia ask vermont p. >> cruz has got to win texas to win. >> i would agree with that. >> and if governor kasich stays in to ohio, that is march 15th, if he stays in, he has to win ohio too, correct? >> correct. >> i would have to lean towards yes. >> if he doesn't, he's through too if he stays in that long. >> in the rurals, we saw cruz coming in number two, rubio also coming in number two in some of the rural counties. but donald trump doesn't seem look a rural nevada guy. and yet, he cleaned up. >> i think he's tapped into emotions like alan mentioned earlier..
>> his son donald junior says he's a blue color billion era, billionaire and he's showing it. >> he didn't even have to put on a pair of cowboy boots. we'll send it back to dave and paula. >> dave: that does it for use now. >>vo paula: for more go to las vegas now.com. >> we'll see you later again this evening. >> paula: thawrchtion.
thank you. >> jon: stephen colbert! captioning sponsored by cbs ( band playing "late show" theme ) >> stephen: thank you so much, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! welcome to can the to "the late show,"" everybody. thank you, that's lovely. thank you so much for joining us. a little out of whack there. thank you so much. welcome to "the late show." thank you. welcome to "the late show,"" everybody. i'm stephen colbert. the 2016 election is shaping up
but you know what else is a the circus. and the big news out of the big top is, starting may 1, ringling brothers circus will no longer include elephants. listen, i'll miss them, but i'm all for this. i don't think these majestic creatures should be forced to walk around in a confined space for our amusement. ( cheers and applause ) i prefer the zoo. that's right, that's right! that's right! i prefer the zoo, where they're forced to walk around in a confined space for our education. ( laughter ) ( applause ) now, getting rid of elephants ends a tradition that goes back a 150 years. here's chapped. there were a lot of surplus elephants after the civil war. general lee, of course, famously used them to cross the smoky mountains and surprised mcclellan at the second battle of bull run. check your history books, and then write in what i just said. they are not just going to cut them free in the streets of manhattan. the elephants will be sent to a
they'll be free to roam in the sun, play with other elephants, and, like all florida retirees, remain gray and wrinkled. ( laughter ) i, for one, am happy to see these beautiful creatures get a brighter future. but why retire to florida when you could live out your golden years here at the ed sullivan theater in "the late show" elephant retirement home? hi, there! hey, there! ( cheers and applause ) hey, gladys. hi! oh, you're going to love it here, gladys. do you like this? does this feel good? no, it doesn't feel good. now, gladitz, i know that you're afraid of mice. but don't worry. there are no mice anywhere in the studio because they've been eaten by the aggressive rats. ( laughter ) shhh! shhh! shhh! you want some peanuts? do you want some peanuts? there, here you go, have some peanuts? do you want some? how about that? feel good? do you like that? do you like that? are you doing okay, over there?
>> yeah, yeah. i'm good. i'm good. >> stephen: want some peanuts? you want some peanuts. >> no! >> stephen: i'm sorry, are you allergic. >> no, i'm not allergic. >> stephen: not allergic to peanuts. >> elephants don't even like them. did you know that? >> stephen: i did not. this is meredith, everybody. say hi. are you serious? >> yeah. >> stephen: they don't like peanuts? how do you know this? >> i read it on the internet. >> stephen: you read it on the internet. >> di, i did. >> stephen: today? >> today, for research. ( laughter ) >> stephen: you were doing background-- you were getting a back story for the elephants. >> di, i did. >> stephen: that's how dedicated you were? >> this is a northeastern pachyderm. ( laughter ). >> stephen: uh-huh. >> not real. >> stephen: no. i hope not because it's only the head. ( laughter ) well, i think we should probably get going, meredith. thanks so much for being here. >> yeah. >> stephen: miss meredith, everybody. say good-bye.
mind-- >> stephen: and whether or not you're an elephant, you will never forget tonight's show. my first guest is the star of "the mysteries of laura," debra messing. then i'll sit down with star of stage and screen, zachary quinto, ladies and gentlemen. ( cheers and applause ) then we'll have a performance by none other than the legendary violent femmes. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) that right there is jon batiste and stay human. say hi, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) they're about to get in it to win it. before they do, one more thing: a new book reveals that adolf
wow. if he knew people found out, he'd be rolling over in his grave, which would be easy considering that tiny penis. ( laughter ) >> tonight, stephen welcomes debra messing. zachary quinto. >> and a musical performance by violent femmes. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now it's time for "the late
( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! hey! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: thanks, everybody! look, i love this show, but i i come out here night after night, and i do comedy, and there are some night when i am just a little bit shaken by what i've seen in the news, and i can't pretend right now i am not totally rattled by something i saw today. starbucks is change their rewards program. ( booing ). >> stephen: thank you. starting in april, you no longer get one point, or star, per visit. instead, they'll give you two stars for every dollar spent. sounds fair, right? well, wake up! because they're also changing how many stars it takes to attain gold status. currently, it's 30 stars,
and you can get a free item at 12 stars. but now you're going to need 300 stars for gold and a free item over 125 stars. and i believe-- i believe this is the revolution that bernie sanders is talking about. ( cheers and applause ) okay? we need to fight back! the supreme court is the only one who can reverse this decision. this is why it's so important to vote. this-- this-- is the road to the white house! ( applause ) >> when was the last time you saw a chevrolet in tokyo? >> stephen: tonight, they're holding the big republican caucus in nevada. and right now, the smart money is on money because donald trump leads in the latest nevada polls
he's drawing huge crowds there! he's like a one-man cirque du soleil in that i can't figure out why either one is popular. are they an acrobatic lizard team or a family of sentient flowers? someone tell me what's going on! so it's getting more and more plausible that donald trump could be president. ( booing ) well timed. ( laughter ) you need to get used to the idea because think what you will of him, he's got a lot of money he has a imagine that really fires people up, and presidential. case in point: this weekend he stared down an authoritarian world leader-- the pope. as you may have heard last week around the holy water cooler, when asked about trump, his holiness said, "a person who thinks only about building walls wherever they may be and not of building bridges is not christian.
has said things like that." also, doesn't help if it looks like he's got a golden calf on his head. trump proved him wrong by responding in the most christian way: a thinly veiled threat. >> if and when the vatican is attacked by isis-- which, as everyone knows, is isis' ultimate trophy-- i can promise you that the pope would have only wished and prayed that donald trump would have been president. >> stephen: yes, he would beg for trump's protection. it wouldn't be the first time the pope has been guarded by a clown. ( cheers and applause ) again-- again-- ( applause ) this also might be cirque du soleil. i'm not sure. well huge news, because on the pope-- who, may i remind you, is the infallible representative of
translating from the latin-- "my bad." because a vatican spokesperson clarified the pope wasn't attacking trump. that's right. trump went toe to toe with the vicar of christ, and the pope blinked. it took galileo 400 years to get an apology. trump got one in 24 hours. i say that proves trump's theory that he is the center of the universe. and if you beat the pope, just paint him into the sistine chapel. ( cheers and applause ) and as a catholic, i feel i am obligated to follow the pope's example and apologize to donald trump. donald, i'm sorry for all the things i've said about you, even the nice things.
you know, that felt good. in fact, there are some other things i'd like to get off my chest. you see, while i am a commited catholic, as the host of my own tv show, i rarely have time for my favorite catholic traditions, like going to mass, or praying a novena, or explaining saints to my non-catholic friends. ( laughter ) they're kind of like god's x-men. st. anthony's mutant power is finding your lost keys. here's the thing. the tradition i miss most is confession. it's like a colon cleanse for it's like a colon cleanse for your soul, a chance to be free of things you might regret, like comparing your soul to a colon. examine my conscience with you, the audience. you won't tell anybody, right? >> audience: of course not! >> stephen: great. this is "stephen colbert's midnight confessions." ( laughter )
sure these are technically sins, but i do feel bad about them. okay, i'll be right back. forgive me, audience. i've been to confession more times on this show than i have in real life. ( laughter ) audience, if you've ever walked slowly in front of me on the sidewalk, i've fantasized about killing you. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) i no longer bother to spread nutella on anything other than my tongue. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause )
i didn't eat that much in rehearsal. ( laughter ) i'd like to go on "celebrity jeopardy!" but i'm afraid i would lose to meatloaf. ( laughter ) sometimes, sometimes, audience, sometimes i wonder if god loves me because he actually likes me or because he has to because he is god. i wonder the same thing about tom hanks. i have fantasized about having a horrible disease so people would feel bad for me, but that's also easily cured once i've soaked up enough pity. ( laughter ) i tell people i've read shakespeare's, "taming of the shrew," but actually, i just watched "10 things i hate about you." ( cheers and applause ) when i'm at karaoke and someone
believin," i stop believin', ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) i steal office supplies from staples. ( laughter ) ( applause ) i don't have any skeletons in my closet. they're buried under the porch. ( laughter ) sometimes, sometimes on my cheat day, i order a whole plate of fries and then have sex with it. ( laughter ) i buy kale and put it in the fridge and never eat it. then i start resenting it and enjoy watching it die. ( laughter )
i'm a quick drunk. don't stop believin' hold on to that feeeeeelin' ( cheers and applause ) i have jumped a subway turnstile on a dirtbike. ( laughter ) everybody always says your porn name is your first pet and the street you grew up on. so mine should be caesar honeybee. but in reality, mine was guy mandude. ( laughter ) oh, and i did porn. one time, i test drove a car just so i could use the dealership's bathroom. ( laughter ) when i go to a jazz club, i just
make it seem like i appreciated something nobody else got. ( applause ) yeah, yeah, yeah, that. yeah, that. yeah. whenever it looks like i'm taking notes in a meeting, i'm just drawing king kong fighting tanks. there are a lot of apps on my iphone that i never use, but i'm afraid to get rid of them because i don't know what they do. if i rescued a shelter dog, i would name it "shelter dog," so everyone would know that i rescued it. ( laughter ) ( applause ) also, if i got two cats, i would name them "cat one" and "cat three," so everyone would feel
( laughter ) this one is shocking to even me, i don't know how to say it, but i think it's possible that donald trump won't be the worst president in history. >> audience: oooh! we've had some bad ones. ( laughter ) forgive me, audience. >> audience: we forgive you! >> stephen: thanks. we'll be right back with debra messing.
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( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. my first guest is an emmy award-winning actress who played grace adler on the hit sitcom "will & grace." now she stars in nbc's "the mysteries of laura." >> you my ride? >> whoa! over 18 is right. it's cool and all. >> oh, god, where is your ride share gal?
there she is. >> oh, no, you didn't! hey, luce. miss me? please welcome debra messing! that's gist the way it is that's just the way it is ( applause ) >> hi! ( cheers and applause ) you guys are awesome. >> stephen: aren't they lovely? >> they're awesome. >> stephen: you're so elegant. i love your outfit. >> well, you know, this is my first time on your show. it's a big deal for me.
thank you for put something effort into it. that's very nice. it's got a classic line and also sort of glamorous and at the same time you look like a greek goddess come down to earth in modern time. >> that's exactly what i was going for. >> stephen: now, the-- that clip we just saw, like, do you do a lot of action. >> i do all of it. i don't have any stand-ins. i don't have any stunt doubles. it's all me. >> stephen: me either. i do all my own stunts. nobody ever asks me to look like i'm doing stunts. have you had to do anything before where you had to look like an action star. >> no. >> stephen: really? >> i'm a klutz. i had a job before this where i had to-- i fell down a lot. >> stephen: yeah, yeah, i remember. >> and that was sort of written into the show because i actually did fall down a lot. ( laughter ). >> stephen: i did notice that in-- before they cut to the stunt woman, you weren't running as fast as she was. >> i was not! >> stephen: it was like, wow, she got really fast once she got
you caught that! i'm so busted! >> stephen: well, congratulations on the "the mysteries of laura," season finale is a two-parter, starts this wednesday. >> two parter. starts tomorrow. >> stephen: at 8:00 p.m. >> yes. >> stephen: and again next week. it's a two-parter. >> it's a big deal. there's a lot happening. >> stephen: are we solving all of the mysteries? >> not all mysteries because then the show would be over but big, shocking things happen over the next two episodes. >> stephen: you're a single exphorg laura is a single mother. is there any overlap in your lives? >> oh, 100%! 100%! >> stephen: you solve a lot of murders, do you? >> oh, all the time. i actually am pretty grate great when i'm watching, like "dateline" and "48 hours," and stuff. well, it's always the husband. >> stephen: it's sad. >> and it's always arsenic, right. >> stephen: really? >> yeah, it happens a lot. just -- >> this is a reason to stay single.
i'll fill you in. no, but my-- you know, it's the balancing act. it's trying to be, you know, really great at your job and a really great mother ask a great friend and a great ex, and, you know, you can't be great at all things all the time. so one hour you'll feel like you're really sort of, like, winning. and then the next, next hourr you'll feel like i'm the biggest loser in the world. and that's how life is. and so i-- i relate to that. because i am a single mom, and i work crazy hours. and -- >> and-- and i met your son backstage. he seems very nice. >> he is. >> stephen: lovely. roman is his name? >> huge fan of yours. he was laughing your whole opening thing. >> stephen: this is why i like him. i need to know nothing more than that. but even a good kid like that, it can be tough. like, it can be tough. laura walks in on double homicides, but a preteen trying to make macaroni and cheese by himself can be just as, you know, disturbing when you walk into the kitchen.
i thank god every night that i survived my day with my child. ( laughter ) glo. >> stephen: do you ever feel-- is there anything that your character, laura, does that you wish you could do? i'll tell you one thing she does that i wish. i've seen her-- you flash that badge around. >> yeah! >> stephen: to get past people. >> oh, yeah. >> stephen: like "new york p.d. detective, move out of the way." wouldn't it be nice to have that in new york? >> it would be october awesome. q. then when there is someone infront of ow the sidewalk you flash that. >> move it! laura doesn't slow down. he doesn't wait for an "okay," she's just like, bam. that's what i like about her. she's a rule breaker. >> stephen: speak of rule breaker or things similar between and you your character and being forceful, people assign to redheads a certain personality. and i-- and, you know, they-- ( laughter ) they do. they do. it's a stereotype. >> what would that be! >> stephen: not holding their tongue would be one of them.
>> sassy. >> stephen: do you think that's a fair description of redheads? >> this redhead. ( laughter ) >> stephen: you think i'd make a good redhead? >> no. ( laughter ) >> stephen: not even worth a try? >> no, no, no. q. no?>> no-no. >> stephen: you're very judgmental. ( laughter ) can you hang out? we've got to take a little commercial break. >> yes. >> stephen: but we'll be back with a little more debra
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you know, because she was the dreamer. she was like, "if you want it, you can work hard, it will work." you know. i was living in rhode island next to a farm. so i was like, "okay, mom." but my -- >> that's not generally where someone goes to be an actress, rhode island on a farm. >> no. but my dad was the pragmatic one. and he kept trying to get me to consider law school. and i found out that i was accepted into n.y.u. graduate acting program, which was, you know, very hard to get into. >> stephen: very hard program to get into, right. >> so we were celebrating, and my father stood up at the table and said, "i would like to congratulate debra for getting into harvard law school." ( laughter ) and literally, then there was-- it was awkward at that point. >> stephen: yes, yes. >> and it was like, "dad, i will make you-- i will make you a promise." and i said, fi don't get cast in an acting job by the time i'm 40, i will go to harvard law