tv Late Night With Jimmy Fallon NBC July 2, 2013 12:35am-1:36am PDT
will be here. but jimmy fallon coming up next. jimmy! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> that sign says "applesauce." [ laughter ] no, no, no, shh, shh, shh. i'm kidding. it says "applause." gav? [ cheers and applause ] good, there you go. now, could you do me a favor gav? can you flick that one? just flick it? there you go. [ cheers and applause ] all right. now, remember you're all a big part of the show so the better you are the better jimmy is. okay, now you see this lovely woman over here. good. yeah. she's giving me this sign. and it's we're on in 10 seconds so, ready to have a good time? all right. this is exciting isn't it? >> here we go guys, in 5-4-3 -- >> announcer: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are --
and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very, very much! welcome! that's a great new york city crowd. [ cheers and applause ] welcome, everybody. sounding great tonight. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." that was a great -- welcome, everybody. here's what everybody is talking about. this is big. hillary clinton finally joined
twitter yesterday. [ cheers ] she racked up more than 200,000 followers in only five hours. yep. there were like "hillary in 2016" and "washington needs hillary." "hillary for the white house." that's not her followers, but those were her tweets. [ laughter ] whoa, pretty aggressive. hillary clinton sent her first tweet yesterday, or was one guy put it -- [ as bill clinton ] "how do you block people on this thing? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] dude, i don't know how you do it." some big sports news. it was announced that the new england patriots have signed quarterback tim tebow just weeks after he was released by the jets. when asked how he'll adjust to getting booed by jets fans, tebow said "what do you mean adjust to?" [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]
they booed him all season. some political news with all of the "con-traversy" surrounding the nsa -- all of "the con-traversy" surrounding the nsa wiretapping scandal. lately people have actually been comparing president obama to george w. bush. now, first i was surprised, but then i saw him give this speech. take a look at this. >> america needs more than taxpayers, spectators and occasional voters. america needs full time citizens. >> jimmy: kind of a similarity there. i can just tell. i can hear a little something in there. interesting. this week i -- i saw this week marks the 50th anniversary of the equal pay act. [ cheers ] men were like, "can you believe it's been 50 years of equal pay," and women were like, "no." [ laughter ]
some tv news. after firing two long-time producers, "american idol" is bringing in the producer of "swedish idol" to help the show. which should explain things when seacrest was like "we'll see who is moving on, right after the flirgenflorg." what? are you guys watching "the bachorlette"? do you watch that show? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we love that show here. and last night, the bachelors, they played a big game of dodgeball. and here's how one of the contestants described the game. >> all i see is the ball. hit his other ball, and blow, and everything drops. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: let's just hope next week's challenge isn't sack races. [ laughter ] because then i just don't want to see what happens. i don't know what to think about this. apparently there is an organization in houston, texas making news for giving away free guns to single women.
or as guys breaking up with their girlfriends put it -- or, i mean, "will you marry me?" [ laughter ] this is cool. i heard that a new six-hour special about the '90s is set to air on the discovery channel. a show with people who were big in the '90s, or as that's also called, "dancing with the stars." [ cheers and applause ] they have a -- they have a six-hour special about the '90s. producers say the documentary looks at '90s politics, culture, and most importantly, how will smith was able to get from philadelphia to bel-air in a cab. how is that possible? [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have got an amazing show tonight.
he is in the very, very funny new movie, "this is the end." the hilarious seth rogen is here. [ cheers and applause ] yeah, it's great. great movie. also, guest announcing, hank kingsley from "the larry sanders show," the hilarious jeffrey tambor is here! that's what i'm talking about. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for being here, buddy. thank you so much for being here. >> thank you. my pleasure. >> jimmy: congrats on the new "arrested development" on netflix. >> thank you. >> jimmy: and thanks for being here. we'll talk about that. >> we'll talk of it, yes. >> jimmy: thank you very much. and we have great music. oh, if you love good music, you know these guys. we can't get a better musical guest right now. the lumineers are here tonight! [ cheers and applause ] yeah. yeah. "ho hey." guys, it's time to take a look at these stories making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad.
it's time for "pros and cons." here we go. ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons and pros ♪ >> jimmy: jeffrey, are you familiar with this. we do a think called "the pros and cons?" >> yes, i am. isn't it controversy? isn't that how you pronounce that? >> jimmy: yeah, right. [ laughter ] is that what it is? i got my rosetta stone from england. [ laughter ] we will be -- tonight, we'll be taking a look at the pros and cons of dating vladimir putin. [ laughter ] because -- he and his wife just announced that they are getting divorced after nearly 30 years of marriage. that means he's back in the market, ladies. [ audience oohs ] so let's take a look at the pros and cons of dating vladimir putin. here we go. pro, he's a good listener. con, but not as good as the nsa. [ audience ohs ] >> oh! >> jimmy: very few are. very few are.
pro, he won't disappear after spending the night. con, you might. [ laughter ] got to watch out. got to watch out for that guy. [ cheers and applause ] pro, seeing putin get struck by cupid's arrow. con, seeing cupid immediately get taken out by a russian sniper. [ laughter ] sad. pro, joining him on a romantic vacation to the city of lights. con, chernobyl. [ audience ohs ] >> oh! >> jimmy: i didn't know that's what it was called. i didn't know that's what it was called. >> no, no. isn't it cher-noble? >> jimmy: yeah. sher-noble. >> chernobyl. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: cher-no-bile? [ laughter ] >> con-tro-versy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: pro, if you come across a puddle, putin will take off his coat.
con, then use it to strangle a passerby and lay their corpse over the puddle. gentleman. he's a gentleman. pro, he likes to play fun and flirty games like truth or dare and spin the bottle. con, and find gremlin in the kremlin. i'd never heard even heard of that. [ laughter ] i don't even know what that means. pro, he enjoys long walks on the beach. con, in russia, beach enjoys long walks on you. [ laughter ] interesting. >> yakov. >> jimmy: that's a little yakov smirnoff, who's writing for us this week. pro, he's got a big heart. con, he ripped it out of a bear he once wrestled to death. [ laughter ] an animal, this guy, man. he does that for fun. pro, he likes dancing in clubs. con, he learned all his moves from this little kid. yeah, that's my man right there. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i love that guy.
very good. and finally, pro, playfully asking is that a gun in your pocket or include are you just happy to see me? con, hearing him reply, gun. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] that is the "pros and cons." thank you, jeffrey tambor. jeffrey tambor, can you get funnier than that guy? just a fun night, thank you so much for this. guys, last week, something huge happened. a major milestone was reached. justin bieber got 40 million followers on twitter. 40 million followers on twitter. yeah, exactly. just stunned silence. [ laughter ] as you know, i was -- i was looking at his tweets. but i noticed like some of the -- his tweets are really short and simple. but they get a crazy amount of retweets. you know, so for instance, last week i saw him tweet out "having fun." and that's it. that's what he tweets out, "having fun." it ended up getting almost 75,000 retweets.
look at this. "having fun." not even a punctuation mark there. nothing. having fun. we thought it would be fun to have one of our writers, arthur, tweet out the exact same thing as justin bieber once every day this week and see who gets more retweets. >> oh! >> jimmy: him or justin bieber. let's bring him out and see how he did. arthur, come on out. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, buddy. >> -- you too. >> jimmy: arthur meyer, welcome back to the show. >> thank you. >> jimmy: which justin bieber tweet did you go with today? >> okay, well, recently i saw that justin bieber tweeted "happy." that's it. that's it, yeah. he just tweeted the word "happy." >> jimmy: happy. >> so today i also tweeted "happy." >> jimmy: there you go. all right, now how many retweets does justin bieber have for that -- so far for happy? [ drumroll ] >> so far, he has 188,149 retweets. ♪
>> jimmy: the word happy. >> for happy, yes. >> jimmy: that's a ton of retweets for "happy." how many did -- how many did you get, arthur? [ drum roll ] >> four. [ sad tuba ] >> jimmy: there you go. [ cheers and applause ] >> that's pretty good. >> jimmy: not bad for happy. and are you actually happy? >> no, i'm not. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, there you go. two more than you got yesterday. all right. that was arthur meyer retweeting the same thing as justin bieber. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be doing it every night for the rest of the week. thank you very much, arthur. thank you, jeffrey. we'll be right back with seth rogen, everybody. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ (tapping) we just, you know, i thinkore this wei'm ready now.t time. like before was just like the warm up. i can accept that.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest this evening is one of the funniest guys around. you know him from movies like "superbad," "pineapple express" and "funny people." his new movie, "this is the end," has an all-star cast including james franco -- look at these guys -- jonah hill, emma watson -- i love these dudes right here. emma watson is not on the cover here. that's danny -- [ laughter ] i think that's danny mcbride. whatever. unless she grew a beard for this. anyways, it's in theaters today. it's really, really funny. please welcome back to our show a hardworking man. here's seth rogen, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
>> jimmy: seth rogen! [ cheers and applause ] they love you, buddy. [ cheers and applause ] they love you, pal. >> hey. >> jimmy: thanks for coming back to see us. >> thank you for having me. >> jimmy: please. >> lovely. >> jimmy: i was -- i was doing some research about you -- coming back to our show, and i saw that you started stand-up at a really young age. >> yeah. yeah, 13 years old. >> jimmy: that's insane. >> it's insane. it's obnoxious a little bit, i think. >> jimmy: how did you get around to the clubs? >> my mom drove me to my shows. [ laughter ] which was awkward. at times. >> jimmy: why? >> 'cause she would be -- i was 13, so my jokes were about, like, stuff i was going through. so, my mom was, like, the subject of some of my jokes. and she would be there. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: that's weird, yeah. >> yeah. like, i had a joke -- like, i
couldn't go to strip clubs, but i really wanted to. and i had a joke about sending my mom into strip clubs for me with a walkie-talkie so she could tell me what was happening. [ light laughter ] and she'd be like, "they're gyrating in here!" [ laughter ] and i'd be like, "you got to say it sexy, mom. come on." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a good joke. >> it's not bad. >> jimmy: that's great joke. >> but with your mom there, it adds a level of tension. >> jimmy: yeah -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: my dad used to drive me around, too, to different clubs. it was just -- it was awkward. 'cause i'm not a good driver, though. >> okay. >> jimmy: i was old enough to drive. i just didn't. >> really? >> jimmy: i just couldn't, yeah. it's just sad. >> i just couldn't drive. >> jimmy: you were 13, yeah. i was 26, yeah. >> oh, no. [ laughter ] he's still driving you here now. >> jimmy: yeah, now he drives me around. >> my mom's actually here, so yeah. they just like to -- >> jimmy: i know. just saw them backstage. >> i know. nothing's changed. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i mean, you have to grow up, but one day -- >> i know. >> jimmy: your first role -- my wife put you in your first -- she produced the movie that you -- >> she did. nancy.
>> jimmy: nancy -- she put you in "donnie darko." >> it's true. i was in "donnie darko." >> jimmy: that's your first role ever. >> in 2001. oy vey. look at that. [ cheers and applause ] i look kind of similar. >> jimmy: yeah, you look pretty similar. yeah, yeah, yeah. >> kinda what it is. >> jimmy: yeah, you're a baby there. do you remember -- did you have any lines? >> it was -- that was the first movie i ever did, and one of my main lines in the movie is "i like your boobs." that's what i say to a young girl in the movie. >> jimmy: you were what? you were what? how old? >> i was, like, 18, i think, at the time. i actually went to a party -- your wife had a party for the movie, actually, like, while we were filming. and i got trashed at her house. and i was underage. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so, you shouldn't do that, yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: shouldn't have parties like that. >> no, she shouldn't. like, it was crazy. i got annihilated. yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's insane. i've got to -- yeah, i got to tell her to stop doing that. >> you should talk to her about that, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, we do it every weekend. >> she still does it with kids, right? >> jimmy: i got tell her stop doing that, yeah. she shouldn't do that. i'm not involved. i'm not involved.
yeah. but the whole cast was there and everyone -- >> yeah, the whole cast. >> jimmy: well, you had a lot of young people there. that was jake gyllenhaal's first -- >> jake gyllenhaal was in it. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i don't think he was as drunk as me, though. so, yeah. he might be more handsome, but come on -- i drank -- >> jimmy: thank you, yeah. it's a classic. it's a cult classic movie now. >> it's true. it is. >> jimmy: do you understand that? >> no, i don't get it at all. it completely -- and even at the party, i was drunk, and the director was there. and i told him, "i don't get the movie." and he was like, "oh, no! [ light laughter ] and he's like, "i'm afraid no one's going to get it." i was like, "me, too." [ laughter ] it's a valid concern. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. it should be. >> super confusing. >> jimmy: yeah. but then, people ended up getting it, and now, they see you. >> some people get it. >> jimmy: yeah, and they see you. yeah. well, this movie, "this is the end." >> yes. >> jimmy: everybody's talking about this who saw it. my producers went to go see a screening of it, and they said it's the funniest movie of this whole summer. >> thank you. >> jimmy: they said it's unbelievably funny. >> it's an insane movie. and i think -- i think -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's the end of the world. >> yes. >> jimmy: the apocalypse. >> the apocalypse happens.
>> jimmy: but you guys play yourselves. >> yeah, it's about a bunch of actors are at james franco's house partying. >> jimmy: so, jonah hill plays himself. >> jonah hill plays jonah hill. james franco plays james franco. emma watson plays emma watson. danny mcbride plays peter o'toole. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: emma watson? but it's pretty cool that -- an idea for this thing. you came up with this with -- >> my partner, yes. so, we're all partying at franco's house, and then, the apocalypse happens. >> jimmy: it's a giant party at his house. >> yeah, a giant party. >> jimmy: aziz ansari's there. >> aziz ansari's there. kevin hart is there. rihanna is there for some reason. >> jimmy: it was a crazy -- [ laughter ] -- fun blowout hollywood party. >> a giant party. and then, yeah, a cataclysmic event occurs. and most of the people die very graphic deaths. and then, the surviving people barricade themselves inside franco's house where we try to survive and kind of deal with each other, basically. >> jimmy: like, five morons. >> yeah. >> jimmy: someone described it like "lord of the flies." >> it is like "lord of the flies" with idiots, yeah. they're even smarter in "lord of the flies," yeah.
at least they worked out the conch shell thing in that. i don't think we have that. >> jimmy: well, you have a thing here -- you have a scene here that -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: -- that -- you want to set it up? >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's jonah hill. >> so, jonah hill gets raped by satan in the film, and -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there you go. something that happens in every movie. >> and then, he gets possessed. and so, we try to perform an exorcism on him. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: here you go. "this is the end." [ roaring ] >> jonah hill? jonah? [ evil laughing ] [ laughter ] >> jonah hill. [ evil voice ] >> jonah hill is no more. >> demon? >> yes! >> that's not good. that's not good. >> you fool. >> i say unto thee, the power of christ compels you! >> oh, does it?
[ light laughter ] does it compel me? >> the power of christ compels you. >> does it, jay? >> the power of christ compels you! >> is the power of christ compelling me? is that what's happening? [ laughter ] >> the power of christ compels you. >> guess what. it's not that compelling. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "this is the end" is out right now. today. seth rogen. more with seth after the break. stick around, everybody. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ when you experience something great, you want to share it. with everyone. that's why more customers recommend verizon, america's largest 4g lte network.
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reviews. it's in theatresay >> jimmy: do you remember we once acted in canadian soap opera? >> oh! yes, of course. of course, a while ago. "jacobs patience" is what it was. yeah, i played the owner of a weed shop, you were a customer, you came in? >> jimmy: that's it. yeah, yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it was -- it was interesting. >> it was fun! >> jimmy: it was fun. except, i mean -- i don't know, don't take this the wrong way. it was just -- >> what? >> jimmy: you were a little difficult to work with. i'm just saying. >> what are you talking about? what do you mean, i was difficult to work with? >> jimmy: for one thing, you refuse to use your own arms in any of the scenes. do you remember this? [ laughter ] >> yeah, i remember that. of course, i remember that. it was at a time i had very, very large pale arms, okay? my forearms look like butt cheeks with hands on the end of them. [ laughter ] you know, i was self conscious about it. >> jimmy: -- for whatever reason, i mean -- the bottom line was, you refused to use your own arms and during the shoot you used fake arms. >> yeah. >> jimmy: mannequin arms. >> yeah, yeah, i know. i know all of that. yeah, i remember.
what's your point? >> jimmy: the point is, you can see how uncomfortable it made me, because the director wanted to make you feel more comfortable and not me, so he made everybody use mannequin arms in the scene. [ laughter ] and i have to say, that made things pretty inconvenient. >> i don't think it was inconvenient for anybody, "a." and "b.", it doesn't matter, because the arms looked totally real. no one could even tell they were fake. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i respectfully disagree. [ laughter ] i don't think we were fooling anyone. >> i think we fooled everyone. >> jimmy: well, guess what, i have a clip. >> okay! >> jimmy: let's let the audience decide. >> great. >> jimmy: here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> hello, welcome to the vancouver shwag hut. what can i do for you, bro? >> jimmy: well, just want to pick up some weed for my -- friend. [ laughter ]
>> great, great, great. yeah, let me show what we've got, man. >> jimmy: all right. what do you got over there? >> all right. we've got some canadian blue. we've got shark's breath. we have some dankee doodle dandy. that stuff is good. northern lights. [ talking over each other ] okay, well, you know what, i wouldn't smoke that anyway, that one is not very good. >> jimmy: i'll just go with the northern lights. >> okay, great, great choice. great choice. let me just roll one up for you. >> jimmy: are you serious? >> yeah, you know -- over the years i've gotten pretty good at rolling these doobers. >> jimmy: you can do that here? >> i can. just like rolling a burrito, my man. >> jimmy: yeah, you need any? -- do you need any help with that? >> no, no, i'm good, i'm good. just one last fold and there we go. perfect. [ laughter ] yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that looks terrific. >> thank you, thank you. >> do you mind if we -- do you mind if we spark it up? >> i won't tell if you don't tell. >> jimmy: my lips are sealed. [ laughter ]
>> all right. let me just get the lighter. >> jimmy: yeah, cool, man. >> here we go. yeah. let's get this lit. >> whoa! got a lot of butane in that guy. >> i know. we'll be riding the green horse in no time, my man. all aboard. >> jimmy: you're pretty good at that, right there. >> yeah, well, stick with me, you might learn a thing or two, dude. all right. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh! are you okay? >> no, this happens all of the time. i've got this, i've got this, i got this. >> jimmy: all right! -- >> you just keep one of these bad boys handy. there you go. there we are. >> jimmy: where are you pointing that thing there -- yeah. >> you know what? how about we have some pot brownies instead, what do you think of that? >> jimmy: uh, sure. sure, i love space cakes. >> great. okay, perfect. i already have some extra batter lying around, just in case this occasion comes up. >> jimmy: now, do you just go by scoop or? -- >> yeah, i go by dollops, i go by handfuls. just got to smear it around. >> jimmy: i really like brownies, so this could be fun. >> i do a little at first and then, you know what? i do the whole thing! >> jimmy: there you go! just put the whole thing. >> there you go, yeah. that's right. >> jimmy: why not, man. >> and now, the secret ingredient. weed!
>> jimmy: now -- >> put a little bit in. you don't want to put too much in. >> jimmy: no, you didn't put any in there, really. >> i got a little in the corner. and then -- [ talking over each other ] you know what? and then i just say -- screw it, put in the whole thing. [ talking over each other ] i put the whole jar in. >> jimmy: you put the jar in as well! >> i don't even care. i put the whole jar in. >> jimmy: you put the whole jar -- >> that's true. that's ready. okay. get some in there. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: you put the whole -- >> perfect. >> jimmy: really? >> i eat the jar. >> jimmy: all right. >> and then i just put that in the over. and it's ready to go. >> jimmy: all right now -- the jar and everything. i didn't know -- i didn't even know you have an oven down there. >> i apparently do have an oven down here. >> jimmy: and the jar is with it as well. >> oh, i cooked the jar. i cooked the jar. >> jimmy: you do. >> that's where the good stuff is, in the jar. >> jimmy: all right, well, what do we do while we wait? >> oh, well, i got my guitar here. check out this riff, okay? >> jimmy: cool. ♪ [ laughter ] wow. that was beautiful.
>> thank you so much. >> jimmy: the weirdest thing, but i happened to bring my bongos here too. >> you didn't! >> jimmy: i did. >> wow! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you want to jam? >> do i!? yes. >> jimmy: let's do this! >> more than anything! let's do it. ♪ >> jimmy: oh. that was fun. [ ding ] >> brownies are done! >> jimmy: there they are! >> okay. >> jimmy: all right. >> got some brownie there. >> jimmy: oh, the weed just kind of really absorbs -- >> it does, the whole jar got -- in there, too. if you cook it at a high temperature, the jar will just evaporate. >> jimmy: yeah, how hot was that oven? >> yeah. okay, dude. let's -- let's try these bad boys, huh? >> jimmy: if i'm going eat some, then you have to try some too. >> deal. >> jimmy: all right. >> let's do it. >> jimmy: sure, man. here, have some. [ laughter ] oh, it's good. >> this is good.
>> jimmy: they're perfect. thank you. hey whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. >> i think i'm starting to feel something. >> jimmy: yeah, i think i'm starting to feel something too. i think it's working. yeah, whoa. look at my hands. they don't even look real. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> i'll tell you what is real. >> jimmy: what's that? >> your bill! that will be $36, my man. >> jimmy: oh, no problem! up top, dude! >> yeah! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: now that i see it again, i guess you're right. they do look pretty real. >> looks pretty real, i told you. >> jimmy: our thanks to seth rogen. go see "this is the end" in theaters right now. jeffrey tambor joins us after the break. stick around, everybody! [ cheers
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is an emmy-nominated actor who's starring in the new season of "arrested development," which is streaming exclusively on netflix. please welcome back to the show the tremendously talented jeffrey tambor, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ it's in money stand now there's money in the stand now ♪ ♪ there's money in the stand now ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: jeffrey tambor, one of the funniest humans on the planet. how are you, my friend? >> i'm very good. i'm honored to be here. i was really good in that announce. >> jimmy: you really were. well, thank you for doing that. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. my pleasure. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you -- >> thank you. >> jimmy: -- for being so humble as well. >> yes. >> jimmy: but i really appreciate you doing that 'cause i went up to you, and i asked you to do it again.
>> no, i went up to you. i saw you at the time life thing. >> jimmy: yeah. >> were you awarded a time life thing? >> jimmy: i don't think they call it time life anymore. >> i don't know. >> jimmy: that's, like, an old cd collection. >> oh. sorry. >> jimmy: yeah, no. it was a "time" magazine thing, yeah. >> and i saw you getting down with justin timberlake. >> jimmy: yeah. getting down. [ cheers and applause ] we were dancing. >> no, he was going like this on your body. [ laughter ] and you were going like that. >> jimmy: he wasn't. [ cheers and applause ] that's not what happened at all. [ applause ] >> i swear. >> jimmy: no, he did not. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but i asked you -- i go, "please, will you announce again?" and you were like, "sure, i'll do that." >> yeah, i mean we got -- >> jimmy: because it means a lot to me when you do that. >> well, no, the negotiation went well. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's great. >> no, i'm very pleased. >> jimmy: but i mean, "larry sanders show" -- thank you helping through that opening 'cause it -- it's just one of -- out of all of the advice i got for doing -- hosting a talk show, that, i think, was the best advice was just to watch larry sanders. >> really? >> jimmy: yeah. >> who gave you that advice?
>> jimmy: no one. >> oh. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] i guess you in a weird way, i mean, by doing it. >> oh, you mean, when i said "watch larry sanders"? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. well, i didn't get that till after i hosted. but, no, i watched every single episode. it's one of the funniest shows i've ever seen, one of the most realistic shows. [ cheers and applause ] garry shandling is a genius. >> he's a genius. >> jimmy: everybody on the show is genius. >> yeah. i -- still people yell out "hey, now." >> jimmy: yeah. >> well, it's not -- what's the -- it's not howard stern. he didn't invent that. >> jimmy: no, you -- that's your voice going, "hey, now." >> yes. >> jimmy: yeah. that's you, yeah. everyone thinks it's howard stern. >> right. so, if people yell out "hey, now," or they yell out, "there's always money in the banana stand." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "arrested." as they should. >> right. >> jimmy: as they should. >> right. >> jimmy: did you do -- well, you're all over the internet now. >> yeah, well, i'm doing pornography now. >> jimmy: no, no, no. [ laughter ] i wasn't talking about that. >> all right. >> jimmy: i was talking about you have -- >> and that is stressful, by the way. >> jimmy: no, no, no. i don't want to get into that stuff.
let's talk about these things that we can watch -- >> i am tired. >> jimmy: no, i know. no. [ laughter ] jeffrey, i want to talk to you about -- [ cheers ] i want to talk about you streaming. >> now, you sound like my urologist. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're streaming very well right now on the internet. >> yes, i'm doing that. i'm doing "the onion news empire." >> jimmy: yes. >> and next year, i'm going to work with the u.s. post office. i'm going to be mailing my performances -- >> jimmy: oh, my -- congratulations. >> -- all around the united states. >> jimmy: but you did -- i will say this. you just made a pilot. >> right. >> jimmy: and -- >> what happened to your finger? >> jimmy: i cut it. i just cut it -- i was making salsa. >> oh, darn it. >> jimmy: yeah. [ light laughter ] i wish it was a cooler -- i got in a knife fight. >> oh, really? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: in an alley way. >> really? >> jimmy: with some punks. >> that's gotta be -- yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, it was rough. >> you took 'em out. >> jimmy: yeah, and they took my finger. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but no, it's coming back. >> good. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's like an iguana. the tail flies off -- >> yeah. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: -- my finger shoots off to scare them like they did -- cut my finger off. but it grows back, and i get
away. >> we did -- we did a pornography thing about that. >> jimmy: yeah, we did, yeah. [ laughter ] we didn't get -- i -- [ cheers and applause ] and sadly -- it didn't grow back. >> no. >> jimmy: it didn't grow back. >> no. >> jimmy: "onion news empire" was a pilot, and people can vote on that and see if they want to make that into a series. >> right. and we're still waiting on that. >> jimmy: you're waiting on that. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but people can vote and just say like, "hey, we like that. that's the one we want made into a series." >> yeah. >> jimmy: no one's ever done that. >> no. >> jimmy: i love that. and then, "arrested development," which is everyone's favorite -- >> we've done fifteen. [ cheers and applause ] and people watch them. they binge watch them. >> jimmy: yeah, that's what i'm waiting to do. i'm waiting to binge watch. >> yeah. >> jimmy: where you watch them all at once. >> yeah. i watch in 30-second intervals. [ light laughter ] no, i can't do -- i can't do 15. i can't do that. >> jimmy: in a row. >> no. i have four kids. >> jimmy: yeah. >> actually, i have five kids. i just had another kid. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: congratulations! >> thank you. [ applause ]
i actually have five. i have four living at home. >> jimmy: do they like that you're successful? >> my son said in the back seat the other day 'cause he's trying to get an action figure for me to -- he wanted to go to rite aid to get their -- and he said, "by the way, i love your work." >> jimmy: oh, that's so nice. [ laughter ] see, you're raising him right. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i have -- i'm following you on twitter. >> you are not. >> jimmy: i'm not. but i would. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: @jeffreytambor. and what you're doing is very interesting. you're writing haikus. >> oh, i'm -- yes. >> jimmy: on twitter. >> that's a good side, don't you think? [ cheers ] >> jimmy: fantastic. >> it is. >> jimmy: but you have a haiku. and i just thought this was very interesting here. >> is that real? >> jimmy: yeah, this is -- this just in. "are you still acting? from rite aid cashier. cvs, i'm on my way." [ laughter ] >> honestly, she said, "are you still acting?" >> jimmy: i don't understand this haiku at all. >> and be -- >> jimmy: who said this?
>> the cashier. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i said, "no, i'm doing pornography," is my joke, you know? >> jimmy: yeah. >> and she was offended. [ light laughter ] shouldn't i be offended? >> jimmy: yeah, 'cause you are clearly acting. >> and then, because i died in "hangover," the cashier at the grocery store the other day said, "are you -- i thought you were dead." [ laughter ] no, i'm not kidding. [ talking over each other ] >> jimmy: -- you've had a great week. >> yeah. i'm dead, and "are you still acting?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm glad we got you on the show before you died. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: i mean, yeah, you're really good. [ laughter ] >> great. >> jimmy: i want to show everyone a clip here of how funny you are and how -- thank you for coming on our show. >> and announcing. >> jimmy: and announcing on our show. come back whenever you feel like coming on our show. jeffrey tambor and guest star john slattery from "mad men" in "arrested development" streaming on netflix. take a look at this. >> have you had any sexual feeling at all lately? >> no, you know, the hopi indians believe that this spot here, when manipulated, can create sexual feeling. >> that's my penis.
>> well, you don't have to tell me. [ laughter ] >> no, just a little curiosity as to why you're checking your secondhand. >> oh, this isn't my office. >> you know, i don't get it. i've been popping the pills, and i mean -- i mean, nothing. >> are you under any pressure? >> oh, no. nothing out of the ordinary. i mean, some violating federal law stuff that'll put me in prison for the rest of my life. but i've made love with treason charges over me before. no, it's something else. it's not just the sex. i -- [ sobbing ] i feel wrong somehow. and i'm becoming weak. >> sorry, had the old thinking cap on. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: jeffrey tambor! the new season of "arrested development" is streaming on netflix. the lumineers perform next. come on back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] the new subway $4 lunch is for everyone.
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but i still love her ♪ ♪ i don't really care when we were young, oh oh we did enough when it got cold ooh ooh ♪ ♪ we bundled up i can't be told ah ah it cant be done ♪ ♪ it's better to feel pain than nothing at all the opposite of love's indifference ♪ ♪ so pay attention now i'm standing on your porch screaming out and i won't leave ♪ ♪ until you come downstairs so keep your head up
keep your love ♪ ♪ keep your head up my love so keep your head up love ♪ ♪ keep your head up keep your love i don't blame you dear for running ♪ ♪ like you did all these years i would do the same you best believe ♪ ♪ the highway signs say we're close but i don't read those things anymore ♪ ♪ i never trusted my own eyes
one, two one, two, three, four ♪ ♪ when we were young oh oh, we did enough when it got cold ooh ooh we bundled up ♪ ♪ i can't be told ah ah, can't be done so keep your head up keep your love ♪ ♪ keep your head up my love keep your head up my love ♪ ♪ keep your head up keep your love head up keep your love ♪
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to seth rogen, jeffrey tambor, the lumineers! [ cheers and applause ] yay! and the greatest band in late night, the roots, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "carson daly." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow, everybody. bye-bye! [ cheers and applause ] ♪