tv Late Night With Jimmy Fallon NBC November 7, 2013 12:35am-1:36am PST
oh-oh oh-oh ♪ ♪ in those days we were lions in those days we were kings ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: tired pony. nice job, you guys. thanks, everybody. good job, guys. want to thank my guests, ellen degeneres, bill engvall. and of course, tired pony. tomorrow night, andy sandberg will be here. but jimmy fallon happening right now. jimmy, take it! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
that's a hot crowd right there. oh, my goodness! you sound so good. hey, welcome! thank you very much. hey, guys, oh, my gosh. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." you guys are feeling good tonight. hot crowd, new york city, right there, everybody. people are in a great mood. people are in a great mood here in new york city. we've got a new mayor, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] that's right. i want to say congratulations to bill de blasio, who became new york city's first democratic mayor in 20 years by getting an amazing 73% of the vote here in new york city. [ applause ] or as new yorkers are saying today, "you suck, de blasio!" [ laughter ] "i voted for you yesterday!" that's right, bill de blasio won new york city's race for mayor by crushing his opponent, joe lhota, the former head of the new york subway system. although i thought it was a little harsh when de blasio told
lhota, "all aboard the l train." [ laughter ] i'm just kidding. i'm just kidding. [ cheers and applause ] but the election is over, but it wasn't without some drama. they're saying a lot of the voting machines in the city were actually malfunctioning. in fact there were so many glitches in last night's election, bill de blasio won the mayor's race and "dancing with the stars." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: two shares. >> jimmy: yeah, thank you. two shares, and -- reference to yesterday's show. anyway. there's a mayor that's in a little trouble, actually. did you guys hear what's going on up in toronto? [ cheers and applause ] that's exactly what it's breeding. i don't like this. the mayor of toronto, rob ford, has admitted that he smoked crack a year ago. yeah.
he smoked crack a year ago when he was in a "drunken stupor." [ laughter ] that guy smokes crack when he was drunk, i'd hate to see what happens when he smokes crack. [ laughter ] "anyone got some toes i can lick?" [ laughter ] "wanna butt chug a can of raid? nobody?" [ laughter ] hey, speaking of canada, we got a canadian on the show tonight. tom green is here! [ cheers and applause ] maybe he can tell us what's going on up there. there's a lot i don't know about canada. >> jimmy, i know all about the great white north. i love canada. >> that's right. mark, from the roots, mark. thank you, mark. please enlighten us. >> well, the nation of canada is the second largest country on earth, bigger than the united states. isn't that crazy? >> jimmy: wow, that's cool. >> it was founded in 1867 and canada is the world's leading producer of maple syrup.
>> jimmy: uh-huh. >> and given us great actors like ryan gosling, john candy and william shatner. >> jimmy: yeah, that's great. >> and the best thing, weed is legal! i love canada! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: actually, marijuana is not legal in canada, mark. >> really? >> jimmy: yeah. >> well, have you ever been to colorado? i love colorado! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: mark from the roots, everybody. thank you, mark. i'm sorry. thank you very much. [ applause ] also, i got to say congrats to my man, chris christie, who won a second term as new jersey governor last night. [ cheers and applause ] we love him, he's a friend of the show. been on a bunch of times, great guy. christie said he couldn't have done it without his biggest supporter, and then his belt said, "happy to help, man." [ laughter and applause ] that's right. no, chris christie won his second term as new jersey governor, and in honor of his
big win, i promise no more fat jokes about him tonight. but seriously. [ laughter ] the margin of victory was so big, even he could walk through it. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: kind of big margin. kind of big margin. >> jimmy: people are actually trying to pick apart chris christie's victory speech today to see if he dropped hints about running for president in 2016. yeah, for instance, strategists have pointed to the comments he made. he said, "and you don't just show up six months before an election, you show up four years before one." ooh. it is subtle, but the hint is definitely there. [ laughter ] well, christie dropped a few more hints throughout the speech that i think were a bit more obvious. for instance, take a look at this one. he said, "sometimes i like to think of america as one giant new jersey that i could be the governor of." [ laughter ] that's a little more obvious, yeah. check out this other one here. "i'd like to thank all my friends, supporters and my beautiful wife, michelle obama." [ applause ] that's definitely saying that
he's running. i saw that oprah has released the annual list of her 60 favorite things for the holidays. did you guys see it? no one saw it. oprah picked items like the new noise cancelling "beats by dre" head phones. quilted barn jackets. and her annual least favorite thing? once again, it's stedman's old lucky boxers with the stretched out pee hatch. [ laughter and applause ] i don't know about this. you gotta throw those boxers away. after awhile, the elastic goes. throw them out. big news for gamers. "call of duty: ghosts" came out this week, and it's already on track to be the best-selling videogame in history. yeah, moms were like, "you're not getting it, it's too violent." but then dads were like, "but i really want it!" [ laughter ] this is pretty big. last night illinois voted to legalize same-sex marriage. [ cheers and applause ]
marking the biggest win this season for chicago bears. [ laughter and applause ] ♪ and finally, i heard that matt lauer and al roker will get prostate exams live on "the today show" tomorrow to raise awareness for men's health. though, it's gonna get weird when the doctor's like, "let's see what's happening in your neck of the woods." [ laughter ] there you go. we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: we have a great show tonight! [ cheers and applause ] he is one of the biggest action stars around. from the new movie "homefront," jason statham is here! [ cheers and applause ] we're just stoked!
he's awesome. we love that guy. jason and i are going to battle it out in a game of water war. [ cheers ] it's going to be fun. plus he's the host of the brand new show "tom green live." one of my favorite pals, comedian tom green is here! [ cheers and applause ] and we have music from emeli sande tonight! [ cheers and applause ] oh, my goodness. it's a hot show! hot! hot show. hey guys, i don't know if you heard about this, but katy perry just passed justin bieber to become the most popular person on twitter with more than 47 million followers. >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: that's right. and you know, i was looking at some of her tweets, and i noticed that they were getting crazy amount of retweets. like this one right here. she tweeted out "happy thursday, everyone." it ended up getting over 8,000 retweets. it's not even thursday. [ laughter ] katy perry, lives by her own set of rules. she's very popular on twitter.
so we thought it would be fun to have one of our writers who isn't as popular as katy perry. his name is arthur. we want arthur to tweet out the exact same thing as katy perry once every day this week, and see who gets more retweets, him or katy perry. so let's bring him out and see how he did. arthur, come on out! ♪ >> jimmy: hey, buddy! you look fantastic! >> you too! >> jimmy: arthur, it is great to see you, my friend. >> thank you. >> jimmy: now arthur, which katy perry tweet did you go with today? >> okay, well i was looking through her twitter account and i saw that she tweeted, "believe me i'm a lover, not a hater. x." so then today i also tweeted "believe me, i'm a lover not a hater. x." >> jimmy: very good. now since we have been doing this on the show the past couple of days, the retweets have actually gotten bigger for you guys. >> yeah, i usually only get a few retweets. but i have been getting way more ever since i started stealing katy perry's tweets.
>> jimmy: oh, yeah, that's nice. well, it sounds like it may be pretty close today. who knows, maybe you'll even beat her. so far, how many retweets do you have for that tweet? [ drum roll ] >> i have 209 retweets. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's really good. >> that's my record so far. >> jimmy: that is fantastic, arthur. that's your best. now, how many does katy perry have? [ drum roll ] >> she got 17,563. >> jimmy: so, that's very, very good, though. still, it was a good try. still, you came close, a little bit. >> yeah, i guess so. >> jimmy: arthur, are you a lover, not a hater? >> no, i'm a hater not a lover. >> jimmy: very good. thank you, arthur meyer tweeting the same thing as katy perry, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] we will check back tomorrow to see how he's doing. thank you, arthur. >> thank you. >> jimmy: we will be right back with my "do not read" list. you're gonna want to know! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ road closed? there's a guy...
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. thank you for being here, thank you for tuning in. i appreciate it. hey, guys, it's november. it's starting to get a little cold out. and that's when you want to stay indoors, and curl up with a great book. but there are so many crummy books out there. how can you possibly know which ones are bad? well, you're in luck because i am about to show you books you
should avoid. that's right. it's time for the next installment of my "do not read" list. here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: now, before we start, i just want you all to know that every book that i'm about to show you is 100% real. these are actual books. you can find them on amazon, or check them out of your local library. they are real. all right, let's see what's on my do not read list. oh, first one is great. this is a cookbook. it's always useful. this is "the meat stretcher cookbook." [ light laughter ] for when you want to stretch your meat. [ light laughter ] higgins, you like stretching your meat don't you? >> steve: what's that? yeah, oh, i love it. [ laughter ] you pound the meat first. >> jimmy: is that right? >> steve: i pull my own pork! >> jimmy: is that right? >> steve: yeah, yeah. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: you pull your own pork? that's good for you. >> steve: and then i have, you know, jerk chicken. [ laughter ] love jerk chicken.
>> jimmy: that's very good. thank you so much, higgins. thank you, let's move on. next book is perfect for this time of year. this is "how to watch football on television." [ laughter ] do we really need a book on this? very easy to do. step one, sit on the couch. step two, turn on your tv. step three, ignore your family for eight hours. [ light laughter ] done, that's how you watch football on tv. this next title. it's got a long title here. this is "an account of the testicles, their common coverings and coats and the diseases to which they are liable with the method of treating them." by joseph warner. [ light laughter ] >> steve: now, that's a real mouthful. [ laughter ] it's a long title! that's a very long title. >> jimmy: yes, a very long title. yes, i mean. >> steve: i think it might be a sequel to the meat stretcher. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: look at -- this guy on the cover doesn't look too happy. look at this guy. he's thinking -- ♪ "why on earth did i make my life's work about diseased testicles?
[ light laughter ] i should have listened to my heart and become a dancer. i was sprite. young, frisky, but alas, i'm destined to a life of balls." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] the next book is for people who like a good diy project. this is "be your own undertaker. [ laughter ] how to dispose of a dead body," by a.r. bowman. sure. i can see using this. you want to save a few bucks and figure "i don't need to hire an undertaker, how hard can it be?" let's find out here. chapter five right here. abra-cadaver! how to make a body disappear. [ laughter ] doesn't say why. well i'm saying, why is he just getting around to telling us how to make a body disappear in chapter five? what was chapter four about? don't panic. [ laughter ] >> steve: there you go. >> jimmy: why should i be panicking?
what the heck happened in chapters 1 and 2? you know what? this one frightens me. it's stressing me out. >> steve: wipe the prints off that book. >> jimmy: we have a few more left. the next one is an auto biography. this is "parking lots i've eaten in." [ laughter ] sounds fun, by owen marsh. one time, i ate a whole jar of spoiled pickles in a jiffy lube parking lot. [ light laughter ] another time, we had a corn dog at a rest stop in tallahassee. i am sure it's not that bad. let me check out what he has to say here? yeah, this makes sense. here he is hanging out with an orangutan in a suit. [ laughter ] that makes sense. when i got this "parking lots i've eaten," in i thought, "there has got to be a photo of an orangutan." [ laughter ] >> steve: you got that brown book. you got a brown book that's called "parking lots i've eaten in." >> jimmy: "parking lots i've eaten in," i figure "well, there's got to be a photo of an orangutan." >> steve: you thought he'd be better dressed. >> jimmy: yeah, i thought he was going to be wearing an astronaut outfit. [ light laughter ] we're down to our last one here. this is "it's easy to play classical themes."
look at, beethoven looks like a cross between a young don imus and larry from "three's company." [ laughter ] why is this kid sitting on his lap? [ audience oohs ] this just looks inappropriate. >> steve: i think this guy's trying to play his rachmaninoff. >> jimmy: is that what he's trying to -- [ light laughter ] >> steve: i know what he's playing. a minor. [ audience oohs ] [ rimshot ] >> jimmy: that's all i have for this edition of my "do not read list." if you have a book that you think should be on the next "do not read list," i'd like to see it. send your titles to our blog at email@example.com. we'll be right back with jason statham everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] bold can be standing up for what you believe in. bold can be testing your limits and defying all odds. and now, bold can be found at subway. fiery footlongs: a revolution in bold taste.
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love. it's what makes a subaru, a subaru. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you know our first guest from such films as "the expendables," "snatch" and "the transporter." his latest film, "homefront," opens in theaters on november 27th. please welcome back to our show, jason statham! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about, right there! they love you! >> that's so nice! >> jimmy: they love you. welcome back to our show. man, you are one of the coolest guys, one of the toughest guys we ever had on the show.
you just feel tough. but, i think you're like a -- you're a teddy bear at heart, aren't you? >> that's right, jimmy. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. every time i say your name, i call you jason or jay -- when i say your full name, sometimes i say jathon -- jathon statham. [ laughter ] i can't help saying that. i'm sorry. i have a speech impediment. >> say that again. [ with speech impediment ] say it one more time, sorry. [ with speech impediment ] >> jimmy: you're in "expendables 3." >> that's right. [ laughter ] you are in that, as well. this is -- "expendables 3" is bigger than ever. you have new cast members hanging with you. >> we got a big cast this time. we got antonio banderas. we got mel gibson. wesley snipes. >> jimmy: no way. >> and yeah, it's -- obviously, we've got arnold and sly. >> jimmy: it's the biggest fun thing. and that one's coming out. then, you have "fast and furious 7." >> harrison ford, didn't he do something to you the other week? >> jimmy: oh, yeah. harrison ford, he gave me a pedicure. he gave me a prostate exam the other night. [ laughter ] no, no, harrison -- did you see harrison ford? >> yeah, i did see it. >> jimmy: he pierced my ear on the show last friday. well, i figured, if someone's going to do it, it's got to be indiana jones.
>> i can do the other one for you. >> jimmy: no, no, no. don't do the other one, please. oh, my god. you're going to pull out, like, a bowie knife. i'll pierce the other ear for you. harrison ford is in that, too? >> the harrison ford is in it as well, yeah. >> jimmy: oh, my god, that's going to be fun. >> yeah, it's a big film. it's a big film. >> jimmy: all you do is big films. "fast and furious 7" is going to be big as well. >> yeah, i mean, we're right in the middle of shooting "fast 7" right now. so i just spent the last week trying to fight the rock. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh, that's got to be -- [ cheers and applause ] >> i'm a bit tired. >> jimmy: that's got to be exhausting right there. >> yeah, it certainly is. >> jimmy: now, you have "homefront," it comes out november 27th. another action film. another cool idea. but, this idea came to you -- came to you from sylvester stallone. >> yeah, yeah. it's a script that he wrote intentionally for himself to play, but he had a few different things come in front of him, and his ideas changed. >> jimmy: he's a great writer. >> he's a great writer. [ talking over each other ] oscar nominated writer. >> jimmy: he's amazing. >> he wrote all the "rocky's." he wrote all the "rambos." he wrote "cliff hanger." i mean, he's written tons of super successful films. >> jimmy: the "rocky" story, too, is kind of exciting, when
you hear the story. because he wrote "rocky," and the studio bought it. and they go, "we love it, want to buy the idea." but, that's enough, you'll just be the writer. he goes -- [ as stallone ] "no, i got to be in it." >> it's true. it's true. >> jimmy: they go, "no, no, no. we don't need you in it. you're not anybody. so, no, sorry. we're just going to make the movie, but thank you for writing it." he goes -- [ as stallone ] "no, i got to be in it." and they go -- ugh. and he forced himself to be in "rocky." >> that's right, yeah. >> jimmy: and man, oh, man, did that take off. i love that story. >> it's a great story. >> jimmy: it's kind of a rocky story. [ laughter and applause ] it's great, right? i love that guy. >> he's a tremendous chap. i've worked close with him. i've done three films with him, and i get to do the one that he's written. it's just a really great privilege. >> jimmy: so he came out, and he asked you to be in this one? >> yeah, you know, we come -- obviously, i read the script, and it was a brilliant script. you know, i just had to chip away and try and convince him that i was the man. [ as stallone ] >> jimmy: "you should do my movie." then you're like, "can you text me? can you text me what he just asked?" [ laughter ] i don't know what you asked. just text me, and then you read
the text. [ muttering as stallone ] and you go, "how do you text the way you talk?" >> no, listen, if it is good enough for rocky, good enough for me. >> jimmy: he's the man. he knows what he's doing. do you want to explain what the movie is about? >> yes, it's about a dad who moves from the country to have a quiet life with his daughter, and the locals start to push us around. >> jimmy: you don't mess with the townies, man. >> you don't mess with us. >> jimmy: and then, you don't mess with jason. if he moves in your town, you just -- yeah. just let him do whatever the heck he wants. we have a clip. here's jason statham in "homefront." take a look at this. >> who's watching your kids? >> or is she at home, all by herself? just waiting on you to come tuck her sorry ass in and read her a bedtime story. [ fighting ]
>> when i get home, i am going to tell my girl a bedtime story. here's how it ends. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he knows what he's doing right there! >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: you know what you're doing right there. oh, my god. we love you, man. you're great. you're great. jason, i don't know if you heard this, but oprah just came out with her list of her 60 favorite things. yeah, i know -- you probably blogged about it earlier, i think. but i'm very excited about it. but, she is very descriptive about the products she chose. and i thought it'd be fun if maybe you listed off a few and just read from her transcript of "oprah's favorite things" this year, but in a jason statham actiony type of way. >> i can do that for you, yeah. >> jimmy: all right, so we'll give it a shot here. thank you.
this first one is for bigarade shower gel and body milk. [ light laughter ] whenever you're ready. >> i don't do perfume, but i do body washes and creams. and frederic malle's luscious blend of bitter orange, rose and cedar is amazing. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: that's one! a couple more! >> that's ridiculous. that's ridiculous. >> jimmy: a couple more! please! >> i'm out of here. >> jimmy: please! come on, a couple more! let's try genevieve boots. genevieve boots. >> okay, okay. "love, love, love. [ light laughter ] think these new tall boots from ugg australia are gorgeous. they can be worn up or cuffed down, and the leather bow and piping made them extra special." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] no more! >> jimmy: come on! uno mas! >> this is ridiculous! >> jimmy: one more! one more, here we go. this one -- this one's the best.
last one. we'll do the last one here. do this one about truffle cheese. >> truffles and cheese? be still my heart. this truffle-tastic trio of a chevre, a pecorino, and a robiola -- is the ultimate treat. i'm going to slip some into the next -- the next love sandwich i make for stedman. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you for doing that! stick around! jason statham and i are playing water war when we get back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ok jeremy, your overseas data bill is so high is it the gps app that your always on. it's called a map you fold it up and it goes into one of your 5,000 cargo pants pockets. listen your mom jeremy. you take it out you unlfold it you look at it, what's to discuss. switch to t-mobile son they don't charge extra for all this stuff.
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splashed in the face. we each have five cups of water. the first one to use all of his cups on the other guy wins. and no punching. [ laughter ] >> says who? >> jimmy: it's in the rules, trust me. and when the other guy wins, they get to water cannon the loser. [ cheers ] yeah. lots of ways to get wet, but only one way to win. you ready for this? >> let's go. [ cheers ] oh! >> jimmy: you've been, like, playing around with the rock all day, man. get ready. you trust, i didn't -- >> i think, obviously, you've rigged them. >> jimmy: you want to switch? >> no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you sure? >> yes, i do! now, let's do this. >> jimmy: ready? >> one. >> jimmy: one.
>> both: two -- three -- >> jimmy: flip. war! >> war. ooh! >> jimmy: ready? you can just put it there. >> let's get rid of this. >> jimmy: yeah, okay. whoever gets this gets the pitcher. one -- i'm sorry. [ laughter ] >> i thought you knew how to play this! >> jimmy: no, no, no, no. sorry. [ laughter ] >> both: one, two, three. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] >> what is that? >> jimmy: thank you so much for coming! [ laughter ] [ cheers ] no! no, me! >> but it's a draw! >> jimmy: a queen beats jack! [ cheers and applause ]
>> i don't care -- >> jimmy: on this set -- all right, here we go. >> oh, my god. >> jimmy: all right. we have one card. >> come on, let's do this properly. >> jimmy: ready? >> i thought you knew how to play this. >> jimmy: what? >> both: one, two, three! [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on. >> both: one, two, three. [ laughter ] >> i told you it was rigged! [ cheers and applause ] oh, my goodness. >> jimmy: ready? >> ready. >> jimmy: one, two, three! [ cheers ] >> you know what -- >> jimmy: this is the most game i've ever played. [ laughter ] >> i've never really liked you.
>> both: one, two, three. oh! [ cheers ] >> one, right? >> jimmy: yeah. >> is it one or two? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: someone get a blow dryer! >> come on, one more, come on. >> jimmy: yeah. all right. >> both: one, two, three. >> jimmy: yes! [ cheers ] you can't change it that much. oh, my god. >> this is not good. >> jimmy: ready? >> both: one, two, three. >> jimmy: ohh. i love your mommy! [ laughter and applause ] >> both: one, two, three. >> yes! >> jimmy: no! >> yes, i just saw it. >> jimmy: yeah, you're right. that was cold, that one. all right, here we go. whoever wins this is the winner.
>> one -- >> jimmy: you're a good man. >> yeah, you're a terrible man. you're a terrible -- good luck to you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: best of luck, i hope you win this game of war. [ light laughter ] >> both: one, two, three. >> yes! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: no! >> yes! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> i think it's my honors, right? >> jimmy: i'm sorry! thank you sir, may i have another? jason statham, right there! "homefront" is in theaters november 27th! tom green joins us next! there he is in the bud light platinum suite! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
the original name, yeah. i gotta ask him about that. ladies and gentleman, please welcome tom green! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: the roots wrote a theme song for you. >> oh, my gosh, that's amazing. thanks, guys. >> jimmy: "tom green live." great title. >> yeah, that's the name we came up with. "tom green live." it's live, i'm tom green, it's live. >> jimmy: that's fantastic. it's so good. i'm happy you could make it to the show. i've known you a long time now. >> yeah, this is exciting. this is great. congratulations to you on everything with the new "tonight show." unbelievable. great to be here. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's exciting, thank you very much. i know you're a big fan of talk shows and all things talk. >> yeah, you know i started my show on a public access station. i always liked making goofy little talk shows. now we're doing a fun show in los angeles. built my own studio. >> jimmy: that's big. >> tom green studios, it's called. >> jimmy: plural. tom green studios.
>> yeah, it's just one studio, but we're hoping to expand. >> jimmy: yeah, you gotta dream. got to dream big. yeah, absolutely. >> we built it by the railroad tracks. we didn't realize it was by the railroad tracks. and then during the first show, the train goes by. the 6:15 from encino just goes by. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. did you ever watch those old dick cavett shows? >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: he was right next to a fire house. and you'd hear the siren go -- [ makes siren sound ] as he was trying to interview somebody. >> yeah, it's like that. we're trying to time commercial breaks around when the train goes by. >> jimmy: very hard to do. >> but it's fun. it is a fun show. i have one guest for the whole hour. and we have cool comedians on. we've had richard belzer and howie mandel. got andrew dice clay. artie lange tomorrow night. >> jimmy: he's the best. have you had him on? >> no, no. >> jimmy: oh, he's so much fun. oh, my gosh. he can't stop. i love that guy. >> we're looking forward to having him. and people -- you can call in on skype. on the video skype. so, we use a lot of technology. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're sponsored by technology, that's great. it's fun. when you started out, i remember
you and everyone remembers you when you first started out, it was more of like a gross out ty of prank show. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it was fantastic by the way. >> it was a weird show. >> jimmy: i loved it. >> the new show's weird, but not as weird as the old show. >> jimmy: you did stuff. how did you get someone to sign the release for what you did? do you remember a time when it was like oh, this person will never sign? >> most of the time. [ light laughter ] i mean, we had a pizza guy in long island came at me with a hammer once. didn't want to sign. >> jimmy: i remember this. what was the bit? >> it was undercutters pizza. i show up, i follow the pizza guy to the place dressed -- i was dressed as a pizza guy. and then i'd have a tackle box full of pizza toppings, and then i'd try to sell the pizza to the guy for less than the other guy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: ha ha ha! >> the guy comes at you with a hammer, and that's the bit. >> jimmy: he got really upset with you. >> mtv would send babes back to the guy's house and he'd get the release signed. so we could to air it. it was a weird show. i'm a weird guy. canadians are weird, first of all. [ cheers ]
we've got a crack smoking mayor. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i can't believe it. >> you don't realize canadians, people think of canadians as polite, but we have murders up there. we have crack smoking mayors. >> jimmy: yeah, of course. yeah, you a lot to offer in canada, absolutely. >> we've got edge. we've got some edge. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: you definitely have some edge. i do, i do -- and you shoot the show in los angeles, though, yes? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's fun. l.a., next time i'm out there, i would like to come check out your show. now you have tom green studios. and now i'm excited to announce you have your own beer. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: explain the story behind this first. >> my hometown of ottawa, canada, we've got this great craft brewery called beau's brewery. we were talking one day and we thought, "hey, we should make a beer together." it's a milk stout. which is -- they use lactose sugar to make this beer. they came up with the idea, because i used to suck milk out of cow's udders on my show. >> jimmy: i do remember this.
i do remember this. congratulations, another first. >> they thought we'll use milk as an ingredient, so it relates to the show. it was better than road kill stout. >> jimmy: milk stout -- we have it here. let me guess the name. tom green beer? >> it's the tom green beer. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: look at that. >> it's about branding, jimmy. >> jimmy: thank you, it's about branding. >> we were going to go with bud light, but it was already taken. >> jimmy: someone took that already? you're kidding me? we have the beer right here. is this available in the united states or only in canada? >> in the new year it's going to be available in the u.s., but it just came out in canada. it won the ontario craft brewer's award for the best new beer. yeah, ontario. and i can't wait for you to try this. the sugar, the lactose sugar from the milk gives it the sort of sweet -- >> jimmy: is it straight from the udders? >> well -- >> jimmy: it's close. >> it could be. >> jimmy: cheers.
i wanna try this. i do like beer. oh, i love this. >> isn't that great? >> jimmy: this is fantastic. this deserves awards. i love this a lot. tom green beer. this is tom green beer. [ cheers and applause ] >> i'll send you a few cases. you got a few cases. >> jimmy: thank you, you're a generous man. cheers. thank you for coming to the show. come back whenever you want to. >> jimmy, thank you. >> jimmy: congrats on the show, brother. tom green! "tom green live" airs live thursdays at 9:00 p.m. on axs tv. emeli sande performs next. come on back everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
>> jimmy: our next guest topped the charts in her native england with her debut album "our version of events." she's here tonight to perform the song "my kind of love." with a little help from the roots, please welcome emeli sande! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ i can't buy your love don't even wanna try sometimes the truth won't make you happy ♪ ♪ still i'm not gonna lie but don't ever question if my heart beats only for you it beats only for you ♪ ♪ i know i'm far from perfect nothin' like your entourage i can't grant you any wishes i won't promise you the stars ♪ ♪ but don't ever question
if my heart beats only for you it beats only for you ♪ ♪ cause when you've given up when no matter what you do it's never good enough ♪ ♪ when you never thought that it could ever get this tough that's when you feel my kind of love ♪ ♪ and when you're crying out when you fall and then can't pick your happy off the ground ♪ ♪ when the friends you thought you had haven't stuck around ♪ ♪ that's when you feel my kind of love ♪ ♪ you won't see me at the parties i guess
i'm just no fun ♪ i won't be turning up the radio singing "baby you're the one" ♪ ♪ but don't ever question if my heart beats only for you it beats only for you ♪ ♪ i know sometimes i get angry and i say what i don't mean ♪ ♪ i know i keep my heart protected far away from my sleeve ♪ ♪ but don't ever question if my heart beats only for you it beats only for you ♪ ♪ see when you've given up when no matter what you do it's never good enough ♪ ♪ when you never thought that it could ever get this tough that's when you feel my kind of love ♪
♪ and when you're crying out when you've fallen and can't pick your happy off the ground ♪ ♪ when the friends you thought you had haven't stuck around that's when you feel my kind of love ♪ ♪ oh that's when you feel oh that's when you feel my kind of love ♪ ♪ and when you've given up when no matter what you do it's never good enough ♪ ♪ when you never thought that it could ever get this
tough that's when you feel my kind of love ♪ ♪ yes when you're crying out when you've fallen and can't pick your happy off the ground ♪ ♪ when the friends you thought you had haven't stuck around that's when you feel my kind of love ♪ ♪ yes when you're crying out when you've fallen and can't pick your happy off the ground ♪ ♪ when the friends you thought you had haven't stuck around that's when you feel my kind of love ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: emeli sande! "our version of events" is in