tv Late Night With Jimmy Fallon NBC December 7, 2013 12:35am-1:36am PST
♪ blood side out i'm going in i'm down again ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: yeah. ben harper and charlie musselwhite. nice job, guys. nice job, gentlemen. good job. i like music whe you can sit down. very good. i want to thank my guests, george bush and, of course, laura bush, thank you very much. and of course ben and charlie, thank you very much. a special show tonight. oh, another special show tomorrow night. blake shelton will be here from "the voice." but jimmy fallon is happening right now. see you tomorrow, folks. bye-bye. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
>> jimmy: thank you very much. hey! looking good! thank you, please, welcome. welcome. welcome, everybody. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." you guys feeling good? [ cheers and applause ] welcome. it's going to be a fun show tonight. well, let's get to what everybody's talking about. people are still having trouble signing up for obamacare because the website is totally screwed up. and the white house isn't happy about it either. now they're saying that they want the website to be completely fixed by thanksgiving. [ laughter ] then the tech guy who's trying to fix it said -- [ in nasal voice ] yeah, well i want a girlfriend, but guess what, ain't happening, buddy. [ laughter ] dad, can you pick me up? i'll be waiting out in the parking lot. you guys see a toyota minivan pull up. [ laughter ] i think even with everything going on with obamacare, the president still has stuff to do. just yesterday, pakistan's prime minister, nawaz sharif was in the oval office to meet with obama and and joe biden. obama said "it's an honor to
have you here." well, biden says "hello, i'm not supposed to talk." [ laughter ] then there's the budget, which nobody's happy about. now there are reports that during recent budget negotiations, an unnamed house republican got so mad at president obama, he said "i can't even stand to look at you." and while we aren't sure which congressman said that, we did get our hands on the entire transcript. and it got super dramatic rather quickly. so here to reenact what went down are tariq and mark from the roots. guys? [ cheers and applause ] >> tariq: jimmy, i'll be playing the role of president obama. >> mark: and i'll be playing the unnamed congressman. >> jimmy: great, take it away, guys. ♪ >> mark: i can't even stand to look at you. >> tariq: yeah, well like it or not, i'm not going anywhere. >> mark: i wish you would just
leave me alone forever. [ laughter ] >> tariq: hey, what are you so afraid of? [ laughter ] >> mark: nothing. leave me alone. >> tariq: hey, unidentified congressman. [ laughter ] turn around and look at me. [ laughter ] what are you so afraid of? [ laughter ] >> mark: myself. [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: wow. [ cheers and applause ] top notch acting, right there. really emotional. tariq and mark, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] terrific, mark. yeah, just beautiful. >> steve: oh, my gosh. >> jimmy: uh, well, of course, we have the world series going
on right now. that's right, tonight was game two of the world series between the red sox and the cardinals. and this is an interesting fact here. i read that the average age of fans watching this year's world series is the highest it has been in 20 years. older people are watching baseball. and when they heard this, major league baseball started looking for new ways to reach out to younger fans. here's a few of their ideas. first up, players will run the bases while texting. that's interesting. [ laughter ] people like that. kids will enjoy that. next up, catchers will have to twerk on the umpire. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: twerk it, now. >> jimmy: next, we have -- please. next, we have all teams will be consolidated into two teams, team edward and team jacob. [ cheers and applause ] and finally, safe or out will be replaced by "yay" or "eww." [ laughter ]
bet a lot of kids will enjoy that. i think it could work. >> steve: it's just for kids. >> jimmy: this kind of made me a little sad a little bit. there's talk that apple is getting ready to stop making the ipod now that users can listen to music on their phones. yeah, they say the product is quickly becoming dated and obsolete. then radio shack said "we'll take a billion of them." [ laughter ] perfect. you can put them by the palm pilots in isle three. ♪ work it out, welcome to the shack. i don't know what to make of this. there's a company in the uk is making news for selling a padded undershirt that is being referred to as a push up bra for man boobs. [ laughter ] of course, it's going to be awkward when your girlfriend can't get your bra unhooked -- [ cheers and applause ] let me do it. guys will be like, "that's my bra right there." "no, that's my bra, can i have it, thank you so much.
appreciate it." oh, i just saw that here in new york city, starbucks is going to open a new store that only sells tea. yeah, and this is nice. they're going to have a revolving door so you can be like, "oh, it's just tea." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i will have a drink of that norah jones jam. what's that all about? well, halloween is just a week away, you guys. very excited. [ cheers and applause ] halloween is fun. but a new survey found that 25% of americans will spend less on halloween this year because of the government shut down's affect on the economy. that's true, which explains that new party game, bobbing for ramen noodles. [ laughter ] that all the kids are going to do. it's not as much fun. speaking of halloween, this was all over the internet today. a man in california made a halloween costume for his toddler by putting led lights on a little sweat suit. it's really cute, take a look.
[ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] that's adorable now, but if i saw that running towards me in the middle of the night, i would be like -- hey, get it away! get it -- it's an ewok -- i don't know what it is. we have a great show everybody, give it up for the roots! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, welcome to the show, everybody. i want you to check this out. gosh, i'm so proud of this guy. he has a new book out. "soul train" by my man questlove right there on -- [ cheers and applause ] on the drums. >> questlove: thank you. >> jimmy: it's called "soul train: the music dance and style of a generation." quest, what is this all about? >> questlove: it's basically, a
coffee table book about the 40 year history of my favorite show, "soul train." >> jimmy: and you love "soul train." >> i love it. yeah, i have about 800 episodes on loop all the time. >> jimmy: do you remember this episode where don cornelius -- was he talking to janet jackson? is that baby janet jackson? >> questlove: yeah, janet. she was introducing la toya that episode. >> jimmy: no way. >> questlove: yeah. >> jimmy: i mean, questlove is a "soul train" nerd. so this is perfect that this is coming out. and the forward is by gladys knight. >> questlove: gladys knight. she was the first artist on the show. >> jimmy: is that right? [ cheers and applause ] i love gladys knight. do you know gladys knight? >> questlove: i met her a few times. yeah, she's cool. >> jimmy: can you get her on the show? >> questlove: sure. >> jimmy: let's do it. gladys. >> questlove: let's do it. >> jimmy: let's go, let's do this. >> questlove: let's have her on the show. >> jimmy: i don't even need -- [ cheers and applause ] you can bring one pip, two pips. >> questlove: let's bring the -- >> jimmy: as many pips as you want. yeah, they can come on. >> questlove: all right. >> jimmy: that'll be fun. we have a great show tonight. oh my gosh. first of all, he is hosting "saturday night live" this weekend, edward norton is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ]
great dude, great actor. funny. >> steve: funny, great guy. >> jimmy: edward and i are going to go head to head in a game of egg russian roulette. i don't know if you know they -- but we are. plus, one of the most talented people in the comedy business. he always makes me laugh. gosh, he's going to tell us about "anchorman 2, the legend continues." it is -- i heard the movie is off the charts funny. judd apatow is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] he's just fun. and we have a musical guest that's starting out in the business. [ laughter ] they're really cute. [ laughter ] they're like one direction. yeah, they're so -- like the new one direction, i love these guys. yeah, pearl jam week continues with pearl jam! that's right, pearl jam will be here rocking la casa. [ cheers and applause ]
i love it. oh, it's insane, and they were rehearsing, and gosh, everybody just comes out of the woodwork to watch them. i mean, i left something here, i gotta come get it. yesterday's guests are coming back -- well, tonight and tomorrow night, pearl jam will be playing on our show. and i like that new song -- ♪ hear the sirens hear the sounds of ♪ ♪ ♪ hear the sirens hear the sounds of ♪ >> he killed it today. and -- just a talented, talented band. band, and i have to say this, cause it's exciting news. get to announce this. it's the number one record in the country. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] how fun is that? that's great. they deserve it, man. a hard working band. i love that band. they're so awesome. pearl jam is here tonight. hey guys, it's time for "late night hashtags." here we go. ♪ hashtags hashtags
hashtags hashtags hashtags ♪ >> jimmy: here we go -- with hashtags. you guys are on twitter, right? [ cheers ] ten people are on twitter. it's a great up and coming social media phenomenon. ten people are on twitter and -- we use twitter on our show every week, so if you want to play along. if you watch at home and want to play along. we do this thing every wednesday. where i send out a hashtag and we ask you guys to tweet out things based on that topic. so since halloween is next week, i went on twitter and started a hashtag called #halloweenrap. yeah. so i asked you guys to tweet out a funny made up rap about halloween. we got thousands of tweets. in fact, within a half hour, it was a worldwide trending topic. it was -- it was really good. thank you for those tweets. [ cheers and applause ] so now, i thought i would share some of my favorite halloween rap tweets from you guys. tariq, can you help us out with these.
>> tariq: yes, sir. >> jimmy: thank you, buddy. yezzir. this first one is from @austincoward. he says -- ♪ i dump out my bag and start countin the pieces ♪ e.t. would be proud of how i'm pounding these reeses♪ >> jimmy: there you go, that's what i'm talking about. that's nice. i like that. >> steve: that's good. >> jimmy: that's great. this one's from @fitznyc2013. she says -- ♪ i'mma grab me some snickers butterfingers and a mounds♪ ♪ eat till this november ends and zumba off them pounds♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: zumba -- zumba off them pounds. >> steve: she's fit. >> jimmy: and then i'll zumba off them pounds.
this one's from @itsjoeotto, he -- oh, he's a big fan of "breaking bad" this guy. he's a big fan of "breaking bad," so he says -- ♪ my white's are tight my glasses fix my sight i'm the one who's not dressed as a slutty walter white♪ >> jimmy: there you go. that's a pretty good costume -- a pretty good costume idea. slutty walter white. this one is from @justintrudell, he says -- ♪ i'm going to pop some pez i only 20 skittles in my pocket♪ ♪ i'm i'm i'm hunting looking for a king size reeses and some chocolate ♪ >> jimmy: only got 20 skittles in my pocket. that's really great. oh, man. >> steve: that's nice. >> jimmy: that's funny. this one is from @lanepetite and she says -- ♪ halloween is spooky halloween is spooky
i've eaten too much candy now ♪ ♪ now i'm feeling kind of pukey♪ >> jimmy: that was like a dracula voice. >> steve: -- like rapula. >> jimmy: this next one is only -- [ laughter ] ♪ >> steve: i got you, i got you. >> jimmy: i know. this next one is kind of a -- almost like a part two to the first one, but it's from a different -- this one's from @heidihoneighbor, she says -- ♪ dressing up in bed sheets looking really spooky ♪ ♪ ding dong who's there a flaming bag of dookie ♪ >> jimmy: it's a good gag. >> steve: yeah, kids love it. >> jimmy: this last one is from @aduck7. she says -- ♪ move witch get out the way get out the way witch get out
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is a golden globe winning and oscar nominated actor. we love him. he's hosting "saturday night live" this weekend with musical guest janelle monae. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome edward norton! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: they love you, buddy. >> thank you. i love being at home. >> jimmy: yeah. i mean this is it. you're home. welcome back. >> this is a hell of a show, i had no idea. you didn't give me the heads up. [ light laughter ] this is like historic. can i observe though that, like, if this is fallonapalooza, like i am headlining over pearl jam? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. you're headlining over pearl
jam. this is fallonapalooza. what a clunky, awful name for an outdoor venue concert. >> he's sort of like the perry ferrell. >> jimmy: i've always been compared to perry ferrell. >> i guess i'm like chuck d pretty much. >> jimmy: yeah, you are like chuck d. i was gonna say something like that. >> no, it's great. >> jimmy: but yeah, well, i was so excited. i go, "oh my god. edward norton wants to come on the show. he has nothing really to promote. it's "saturday night live." he just wants to come and hang with his buddy. >> i had not seen you in a long time. >> jimmy: yeah, you're just here for pearl jam. [ laughter ] yeah, be honest. >> you notice i didn't wear a suit. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. you're just here for pearl jam. and you're like, "pearl jam's here. i'm gonna dress as close to eddie as i can." [ laughter ] >> well, you know, in mexico, if you have the same name, you call each other tocayo. i always say my tocayo is eddie vedder. >> jimmy: my tocayo. i've never heard that. [ light laughter ] i like that, tocayo. i'll just take that. anytime i see jimmy kimmel. i'll say, "hey, tocayo." he'll be like, "what does that mean?" >> exactly. no, i love you and i love doing on the show for any reason. but --
[ laughter ] >> jimmy: you can't tell a lie. you cannot tell a lie. >> i don't mind dropping in on the night with pearl jam. >> jimmy: it was an easy show to book. [ cheers and applause ] they are amazing. >> they're amazing. >> jimmy: have you seen them? you ever seen them live? >> of course. yeah, and a couple years ago i was finishing up a film with wes anderson up in rhode island -- >> jimmy: you were fantastic. >> thank you. i took the amtrak back down to the city. and i was on my way -- >> jimmy: i love amtrak. >> i love it too. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i love amtrak. that's my favorite way. i just -- i love trains, and i love reading that magazine. "ontrak" or something like that. [ light laughter ] it's got a quirky, cool name. like a train name. like the ch-ch-ch-choo-zine. i don't know what it is. >> anyways, i come down, and i got an e-mail or something from eddie, and he was like, "i'm playing --" >> jimmy: what do you mean you got an e-mail from eddie? >> "i'm playing the beacon
theatre tonight." >> jimmy: your tocayas? >> no, tocayas is like a body part. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: your tookus. >> yeah, he's on my tookus. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: your tookus, yes. you got an email from your tookus. >> you're irish, right? [ irish accent ] >> jimmy: i don't know, i just call him -- -- sheamus. [ light laughter ] >> he was like, "i'm playing the beacon tonight, and a mutual friend says you know a couple of the songs, and why don't you come play with me?" so i ran -- >> jimmy: no. >> and so, i -- >> jimmy: i would type back "no." absolutely not. >> so i ran home -- >> jimmy: you ran off the train. >> -- in a panic. >> jimmy: you jumped out of the window of the train. >> i ran out of the train. i left my bags, ran home, grabbed my guitar, and ran back up to the beacon theatre, and um -- >> jimmy: you played the beacon with eddie vedder?! >> i sat in. >> jimmy: no way! how cool is that? >> it was great. >> jimmy: you must have felt like a rock star. >> like, i think these, i mean -- making movies is one thing, these things make me a little more nervous. that was like nerves at a level
where you're floating somewhere up in -- >> jimmy: this one goes to 11. [ light laughter ] >> yeah, there's no oxygen. you can taste pennies in your mouth and you have no idea what's -- >> jimmy: i know that feeling. >> -- you have no idea what's happening. >> jimmy: oh, my god, i'm so nervous. >> time is elongating and stretching. >> jimmy: and were you cool? did you do, like a cool rocker thing or anything cool? >> we played "guaranteed," which is one of eddie's great songs. [ cheers and applause ] which i can play. i can play, you know, i spent a lot of time learning some of eddie's songs. but the thing was, i went up for sound check, and i said to him, "look, if i'm not cutting it, i want you to just cut this idea." and he said, "fine." so, we were playing and then he said, "no, man, sounds great." he said, "take a verse." and i said, "meaning what?" he was like, "sing a verse." and i said, "i'm not singing a verse. no way!" [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: was this all happening on stage during the song? >> no, no, no. in rehearsal. >> jimmy: i would be like, "boo." >> yeah, exactly. i said "i'm not singing."
and he says, "no, do it man." and i think in our car, we all think -- you know we're like -- [ singing "jeremy" ] [ light laughter ] and we all say, "oh, eddie vedder's, right in my range." [ laughter ] he's right in my range. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. i could do exactly what he's doing. >> and he is like, "i've got it." and then you get on stage with him, and it's like you're like bob dylan through a mono speaker. [ laughter ] i'm sitting there going -- [ mimicking bob dylan ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and he's like -- [ mimicking eddie vedder ] and you're like oh my god, don't do it any more. at least you can say you did it. i don't know if you will be invited back. but still, how cool is that? [ light laughter ] >> i will not be invited back. >> jimmy: here you have "saturday night live," speaking of getting nervous. >> yes. >> jimmy: you're hosting "saturday night live," it's a live show. you know that right? >> live? >> jimmy: yes! how dare you! >> i was about to say "i think we're going to get it on the first take." >> jimmy: you have to. it's a live show. you've been on.
you dropped in a couple of times to do little bits. >> i did a "vh1 behind the music" of "the captain and tennille show" with our friend drew barrymore. >> jimmy: drew barrymore. it was great. >> which is a blast. >> jimmy: this is different. this is all you, baby. >> lorne's asked me to do it many times. and there's been scheduling things and frankly, i was nervous. but i just figured, you know, i had the time, i have a lot of friends involved, and i just thought "what a great time, you should do this once in your life." >> jimmy: i think it's perfect for you, because i think you're so funny. >> give me a tip. what should every host on "saturday night live" know? >> jimmy: i think you should do an impression. >> okay. i know you do impressions. >> i will, but i'm not going do one for you right now. i'm going to save them for saturday. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: what?! why can't you do one, though, now? >> i think they need me upstairs. >> jimmy: no, come on! edward norton and i are playing egg russian roulette when we get back! he's gonna do it! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [kevin] paul and i have been friends...
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, i'm here with edward norton and -- [ cheers and applause ] we're going head-to-head in egg russian roulette. higgins, would you like to explain how this works? >> steve: certainly, james. in my hands, i have one dozen eggs. >> jimmy: what's wrong with your voice? [ laughter ] >> steve: eight of -- thank you. >> jimmy: yeah, no problem. >> steve: eight of them have been hard boiled. >> jimmy: oh. >> steve: four of them are still raw. you and edward will take turns selecting one egg at a time, smashing it upon the top of your heads. you won't know which eggs are raw --
[ laughter ] -- and which are hard boiled. once you do that -- >> jimmy: this is a long intro. >> steve: you must smash that egg on top of your head. no one. none. the first to smash two eggs on the top of their head loses. >> jimmy: two raw eggs loses. >> steve:edward harrison norton, as a guest of the show, you will choose the first egg. [ light laughter ] >> it's like willy wonka meets "the deer hunter" torturer. [ laughter ] >> steve: which egg will be yours? eggselent. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he didn't choose anything yet. >> steve: eggsactly. >> jimmy: how does it feel? how does it feel, man? >> it feels completely solid. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky man. >> steve: james! >> jimmy: yes? >> steve: choose! choose wisely!
>> jimmy: it's so hard boiled, dude, this is a joke. [ laughter ] and you my friend are a joke as well. oh! [ laughter ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: one down, three more eggs. edward, choose wisely. [ light laughter ] [ steve laughs maniacally ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the confidence going
into that one was so great. oh! >> steve: that means two are down. two are left. >> sorry, i'm getting over my resentment. >> steve: choose, james. now! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: stop moving around, man. oh, that's cool. good to see everybody. how are you man? thanks for coming to the show, buster brown! [ laughter ] >> jimmy? >> jimmy: yeah? >> they need me back up stairs on that serious show. [ audience oohs ] so i'm going to speed things up a little bit. [ audience oohs ] >> jimmy: man!
man, in the art of egg cracking. oh, my! i've never seen that done. [ laughter ] you're a ninja. [ laughter ] >> do a double. >> jimmy: double it is, my man. denny's grand slam! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> the winner, right there. edward norton. check him out this weekend on "saturday night live" with musical guest janelle monae. judd apatow joins us next! there he is in the bud light platinum suite! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ i love it!
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♪ i picked it out in a snap ♪ what made it genius ♪ was my camouflage wrap ♪ that's my kind of holiday ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is one of the best writers and directors around. he's given us great comedies like "knocked up," "the 40-year-old virgin," and "this is 40." he also produced the highly anticipated new move "anchorman 2: the legend continues."
which will hit theaters december 20th. just in time for christmas. please welcome back, a hilarious man. here is judd apatow, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: judd apatow. thank you for coming back. >> and i dressed up. >> jimmy: you really look great. you look sharp. you dressed up. >> i did dress up. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> i thought about going -- >> jimmy: now all of us did. >> edward: no, a lot of young people wear suits and ties for pearl jam. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: judd, you're not only here for pearl jam, are you? >> i kind of am. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: just lie to me. can't you just lie to me, please? >> "anchorman" doesn't even come out for two months. [ laughter ] there's no reason to promote a movie. >> jimmy: there's no reason at all for you to be here. >> it comes out december 20th. >> jimmy: i know, it's a far away --
>> but how often do you get an opportunity to watch pearl jam from like, eight feet away? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's true. >> you're just a conduit for us to get to do something we want to do. we don't really care about you or your show. [ laughter ] we care about what's about to happen. >> jimmy: yeah, same with me. [ laughter ] i would never say that. i love both of you guys. i'm happy that you're here. you always bring fun things when you come here. you debut things, you break records, you make history. tonight, we're going to show for the first time -- >> yes, this is big. >> jimmy: the "anchorman 2" movie poster. >> that's right. never released. let's see it. >> jimmy: here we go. ready? thank you, quest. >> okay. [ drumroll ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: ridiculous. >> now notice, "anchorman" doesn't come out for so long, i don't even have a clip. >> jimmy: yeah i know. you don't have a clip.
>> all i could think of was the poster to get on this show to see pearl jam. >> jimmy: can we take a look at that poster? well, this is it right here. the legend continues. i'm so psyched you guys are doing this. >> it's so exciting, adam mckay and will ferrell wrote it. adam mckay directed it. >> adam mckay is one of the funniest human beings i think i've ever met in my life. >> the funniest. and the movie's great. i mean, it really exceeds all expectations. >> jimmy: i think steve carell was here for a different movie and he was talking about having the table read for this, and said that people were crying. they couldn't even get through the table read. they were laughing so hard. they were like out of breath. people almost died. [ laughter ] >> halfway through the table read, people just get tired. >> jimmy: is that what was happening? >> they kind of can't laugh, after like 50 minutes of straight laughing, people were getting ill. >> jimmy: another product that, thank god is coming out is -- can i -- i can't say god, right? can i say thank god? >> you can't say god on t.v.? can you say "i love god?" >> jimmy: i can say "thank allah?" [ laughter ] another product that is coming
out that i'm very psyched to debut on the show. ben and jerry's always has fun new flavors. >> yes. >> jimmy: you have a brand new flavor. is it out now? >> i guess it's like coming out very shortly. >> jimmy: this is scotchy scotch scotch. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> it is scotch in there. ron burgundy. >> it's filled with glenlivet scotch. it's actually scotch. >> jimmy: is it really scotch in there? >> it's 100% scotch. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: ben and jerrys, they'll do anything. i love those dudes. they're nuts. i love those guys. i'm psyched that you got to do a sequel to this. was it your idea? was it will's idea? adam's? >> no, they thought of it and i think it's something they enjoy doing more than anything they do. >> jimmy: you know, i laugh at everything. i wouldn't even be able to be onset. >> they're hilarious in the dodge durango commercials. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is that true? i heard they made like 20 of them. >> there's just a lot of dodge durango commercials with ron burgundy, and they're so funny. have you ever enjoyed a commercial more than that? >> jimmy: no, it made me laugh. i saw one with dancers. but you were telling me there's one with a horse? >> there's one with a horse.
i'll let people see that one. yes, i don't want to give away the horse gag. >> jimmy: but there's a funny horse gag. yeah, sorry. another back stage thing. what would woody allen have to say about that? [ light laughter ] [ as woody allen ] >> edward: you know, if that horse so much as whinnies, i'm going to be directing from like 500 yards down the road. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. he killed it right there. you can't tell the horse joke? >> i only have one impression that works with that, which is i can do tony roberts. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> from "annie hall." twins match! imagine the possibilities. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: twins match! [ as woody allen ] >> edward: are we going to be driving through plutonium? >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. this is like watching "annie hall," i love it. now judd, when you're not here, being a movie star and a hollywood mogul, what are you doing with your life? >> well, i'm between projects right now. sometimes i'll meet with people and try to like decide who would be fun to try to write something for because i like to write for people. [ light laughter ] >> edward: have we met? >> like edward norton. who does a pretty good woody allen.
so recently, i did a lunch with a very famous star, i don't want to give it away who he was, he has either played batman or is about to play batman. [ light laughter ] so it could be christian bale, or val kilmer. >> jimmy: michael keaton? >> or george clooney. >> jimmy: ben affleck. >> or adam west. >> jimmy: or adam west. >> it could be one of those. >> jimmy: i haven't done any work meetings with adam west. >> could have been. could have been. >> jimmy: okay. could have been. one of those batmen. >> yeah, and we're having lunch, and i notice halfway through he has an enormous booger hanging out of his nose. [ laughter ] like, a really big booger hanging out of his nose. and then, you're in that position like, "do i tell this cool guy that he has a huge booger hanging from his nose?" >> jimmy: i don't know what i would do. i don't know what i would do. >> and then i was like, "i don't know what to do." and he is acting all cool and sexy, but he doesn't know he's got a booger. so, then i decided, okay, this is kind of cool because now, i'm dominating the lunch. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're above him now. he is a great big, giant hollywood good looking movie
star and now -- >> now he's booger guy. >> jimmy: he's booger guy. [ laughter ] absolutely, yeah, he's booger man. >> because usually, i'm booger guy. >> jimmy: now he's booger man. >> usually, i'm booger guy. >> jimmy: so what happened? >> so then he goes to the bathroom, and i'm so excited, because he's gonna see the booger in the bathroom. >> jimmy: i mean, it's that big. >> it's like hanging in midair -- [ laughter ] you know when like, a booger has three hairs holding it -- [ laughter ] -- in the center. it's like a scene from "gravity." >> jimmy: the movie "gravity." so it is clooney? >> no! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yes, it is clooney. you said "gravity." you said "gravity!" >> it could be adam west. so he comes back and i'm like, "thank god. the booger is going to be gone." the booger's still there. [ laughter ] the booger's still there. >> jimmy: he didn't see it? >> and then i realize maybe he is pulling a power move on me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: judd, you're overthinking this. you're overthinking this. i wanna say our thanks to judd apatow. "anchorman 2" is in theaters december 20th. [ cheers and applause ] you guys sticking around?
>> absolutely. >> jimmy: pearl jam is right here when we come back! they're playing right there! oh, my goodness! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ and ah, so you can see like right here i can just... you know, check my policy here, add a car, ah speak to customer service, check on a claim...you know, all with the ah, tap of my geico app. oh, that's so cool. well, i would disagree with you but, ah, that would make me a liar. no dude, you're on the jumbotron! whoa. ah...yeah, pretty much walked into that one. geico anywhere anytime. just a tap away on the geico app. sweaters from fifteen bucks warm wishes with ♪ tonight out lift their spirits with jeans from ten bucks ♪ let's go out and reel in everyone's favorite shirts from just five ♪ everything will be alright slide in for great gifts for the whole family at 50% off only at old navy. ♪
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country right now! "lightning bolt." [ cheers and applause ] tonight, they're gonna play their latest single from it called "sirens." please welcome back to the show, pearl jam! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ hear the sirens hear the siren hear the siren hear ♪ ♪ the circus all go found i hear the sirens more and more in this here town ♪
♪ let me catch my breath to breathe then reach across the bend ♪ ♪ just to know we're safe i am a grateful man ♪ ♪ this light is pit alive and i can see you clear ♪ ♪ i could take your hand and feel your breath for feel that someday this will be over ♪ ♪ i pull you close so much to lose knowing that nothing lasts forever ♪ ♪ i didn't care before you were here a distant laughter with the ever after ♪
♪ i studied your face and the fear goes away the fear goes away the fear goes away ♪ ♪ the fear goes away ah ha oh oh ah ha ♪ ♪ oh oh ah ha ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh! beautiful. beautiful! pearl jam! "lighting bolt" is in stores right now. see them live friday in hartford. sunday in baltimore. we'll be right back, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
♪ >> jimmy: my thanks to edward norton, judd apatow, pearl jam! [ cheers and applause ] and the greatest band in late night, the roots right there, ladies and gentleman. stay tuned for "carson daly." thank you for watching. have a good night. hope to see you tomorrow. bye, bye everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪