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tv   Late Night With Jimmy Fallon  NBC  December 19, 2013 12:35am-1:36am PST

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♪ all comes tumbling down yeah, yeah know that i'll still want you around ♪ ♪ yeah, yeah when our hearts are crushed and we've come undone ♪ ♪ i believe in us 'cause you're still the one i believe in us ♪ ♪ when it all comes tumbling down tumbling down tumbling down ♪ ♪ baby, tumble down with me don't you know, baby baby, tumble down with me hey ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: tessanne chin, great job. that was terrific. thank you so much. that was wonderful. congratulations. i want to thank my guests -- christina applegate, kevin nealon and of course tessanne chin. tomorrow night, sylvester stallone. but jimmy fallon happening right now! [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ tonight's guests are -- and, as always, the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: good to see you, buddy. welcome to "late night," everybody! you guys feeling good? [ cheers and applause ] happy monday. welcome, welcome, welcome. we have a great show tonight as always. it's really, really fun. but thank you for being here. i appreciate it. let's talk about what's going on in the news. big news for fans of "duck dynasty." [ cheers ] love that show. a great show. well, the cast of "duck dynasty" is now selling their own brand of wine at walmart. [ laughter ] for just $10. the great part is if you drink five bottles, you start to understand what they are saying on "duck dynasty." oh yeah, i get it. [ applause ] that's right. "duck dynasty," cheap booze and walmart. or as rednecks call that, the trifecta. [ laughter ]
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well, our pal miley cyrus is in the news again. [ laughter ] last night miley was on stage at the mtv european music awards and apparently lit up a joint. [ audience oohs ] of course, most people were, like, well, at least she kept her tongue in her mouth. [ laughter and applause ] you can't make all the rules. just let her be free and do something. did you see this again? our pal, biden. i love him. it's -- this is a crazy coincidence. i saw that on friday, joe biden took an amtrak train to delaware and wound up sitting next to whoopi goldberg. they just ran into her on the train. he has a photo. look at this. yeah. isn't that crazy? biden said "what is it like making million of americans laugh every day?" and whoopi said, "i was going to ask you the same question." [ cheers and applause ] oh, man, what a day for football on sunday. i want to say congrats to the
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new york giants, who got their third straight win yesterday after beating the raiders. it's a good game. it goes to show you if you work hard and really believe in yourself, eventually you'll play a team that's even worse than you. [ cheers and applause ] eventually, it all works out. i don't know how i feel about this. but there is a new website that charges people thousands of dollars to meet their favorite celebrities. yeah. there's a lot of different options. you can pay to have lunch with mike tyson. you can hang out with shakira. or you can ride on an amtrak train with whoopi goldberg. [ laughter ] any one of those. well, here's some business news. this week that marks the 30th anniversary of microsoft windows. [ cheers and applause ] pretty big deal. in fact. >> did somebody say microsoft? hi, i'm clippy. how can i be of assistance? [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: clippy the paperclip. i haven't seen you in 15 years. >> yeah, and you and everyone else. i'll tell you who never left my side though. my best friend, jack daniels. >> jimmy: that doesn't sound too good there. >> dude, i'm an unemployed paperclip. i gotta do what i gotta do to get through the day. >> jimmy: well, what have you been up to? >> i've been spending most of the day getting pretty hammered and sexting billy gates. want to know how that makes me feel? depressed, embarrassed, pathetic. all of the above. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: listen, clippy -- >> if you guessed all of the above, you're right. here's another fun fact about my current life. this morning i dropped an egg on the kitchen floor and i went ahead and ate it off the floor. it wasn't even cooked. >> jimmy: okay, all right. well, thank you very much, clippy. >> you're my only friend, jimmy. text me if you want to go out later. >> jimmy: i'm not going out later, but thank you again for stopping by clippy. >> ah, whatever, i'm going to go smoke a joint with miley cyrus. >> jimmy: get out of here! clippy the paper clip. [ applause ]
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>> steve: come on! give it up for clippy! >> jimmy: congratulations to microsoft. oh, boy. hey, some more big news over here. over the weekend, venezuela's gabriella eisler was crowned the new miss universe. so we did it again, earth. we dominated the miss universe. [ cheers and applause ] earth, earth, earth, earth, earth! yeah, we won miss universe. thank you, venezuela. i just heard about this. a lot of couples are planning on getting married tomorrow. because -- you know why? that's right. the date will be 11/12/13. couples say they like 11/12/13 because it is a unique date that will never happen again. in a related story, that's literally how every date works. today is the last november 11th, 2013.
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today is it. it will never happen again. let's all get married! let's all get married! let's do this. [ cheers and applause ] is clippy still around? let's get clippy. yeah. of course, the guests will remember their wedding because the couple made them come to a wedding on a tuesday. [ laughter ] they'll appreciate that. i just read this story here. it is about a professor at rutgers university who is teaching a class about bruce springsteen. [ cheers ] that's cool. but it is a little weird when he starts out every lecture with one, two, three, four! welcome, everybody. please open your textbooks to page 75. [ laughter ] where we left off. [ applause ] ♪ no, i don't know what to do. [ laughter ] that's how he walks in. just give me a beat.
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one, two. one, two, three, four! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] a one man show. i do a one-man bruce springsteen show. >> steve: off, off, off, off broadway. >> jimmy: it's called "off broadway." >> steve: it's called "nebraska." it's just the "nebraska" album. >> jimmy: yeah, it's just the "nebraska album." it's the electric guitar version of the "nebraska" album. really awful. it's really bad. no tickets sold. [ laughter ] unfortunately. hey, listen to this. police in california are now looking for thieves who recently stole $400,000 worth of walnuts from a farm. [ laughter ] stole walnuts. i hope they don't get caught because as soon as they're in jail, their cell mates are gonna be, like, "so, i heard you like to grab nuts." >> steve: i can't.
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i'm not going to say nothing. >> jimmy: don't say anything. don't! just don't. you were telling me, right? >> steve: that guy got the shaft. ♪ [ applause ] >> jimmy: you were telling me, right? >> steve: yes. >> jimmy: when you have nuts on the wall. >> steve: yes, walnuts. [ laughter ] nuts on your chest. chestnuts. >> jimmy: chestnuts, yeah. [ laughter ] >> steve: i got another one. >> jimmy: i can't remember it either. you'll just have to google that one, guys. don't do it at work. actually police aren't sure who the thieves are but they suspect this is the main culprit. ♪
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>> jimmy: oldie but a goodie. this is kind of scary. a team of scientists from cornell made news recently for creating a robot that can hold a knife. or as robots will tell their grandkids, that's when the revolution began. [ applause ] we started do old weapons. and finally, new study found out most extra virgin olive oil isn't really extra virgin. then popeye said tell me about it. we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hey, everybody. welcome, welcome, welcome.
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i do want to say to all our veterans out there, thank you so much for all the work. happy veterans day. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for everything you do. and for those who are not with us, we respect you as well. a friend of mine from the air force gave me a military coin. do you know what those things are? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: those are cool. do you guys know what they are? they're these coins that apparently if you're in a bar with other people that are in the service -- challenge coin, yeah. thank you, sir. [ laughter ] my stepdad is here. sorry, scott. you say i got a challenge coin. you throw the coin down. whoever can beat your coin, if anyone can beat your coin, you buy them a drink, right? if they can't beat your coin, they buy you a drink. >> yes. [ laughter ] >> steve: let me get this straight. >> jimmy: the biggest conversation me and my stepdad has ever had.
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that is correct. don't make me take my belt off. [ laughter ] look at this coin. isn't that a nice one? [ audience oohs ] and it's -- [ laughter ] it's got a hole through it. >> steve: oh, my gosh. >> jimmy: it's nice, right? i also got one from the secret service. [ audience oohs ] yeah, 'cause i was at the white house, so yeah. >> steve: get out of here! >> jimmy: no, i'm kidding. thank you, sir, for clearing that up for me. anyways, so if you see me out later on, if i have these -- actually, if i see a veteran out at a bar, i'm going to buy him a drink. you got to buy him a drink, anyway. buy a veteran a drink. [ applause ] tonight, if you're at a bar watching this right now, if anyone knows a veteran, buy them a drink and thank him for what they've done for us. [ cheers and applause ] i want to thank my buddies back home. well, it's monday. we're happy to be back. we've got some big shows coming up for you guys. mariah carey's gonna be here. ice-t, damian lewis.
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tom selleck bringing his mustache here. [ cheers ] we're going to demo the new ps4 on wednesday. [ audience oohs ] playstation 4. and we got music from capital cities, thomas rhett, sheryl crow and johnny marr. i cannot wait for those guys. [ cheers and applause ] gonna be fun. but tonight is a show above all shows. he's a comedy legend, he's one of my favorites. he is bringing his one-man show, "700 sundays," back to broadway. this show is phenomenal. it's a limited run, so get tickets if you can. it is so awesome. i'll talk to him about it. the great billy crystal is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: billy crystal! >> jimmy: billy crystal! [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: william crystal. >> jimmy: i love him. plus, she is a very, very busy actress. she is starring in two new movies. "charlie countryman" and "a case of you." one actress, two movies, three names. evan rachel wood is on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and that's not all! we got some good music. >> steve: what? >> jimmy: i'm talking about cher lloyd is here! [ cheers and applause ]
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featuring skee-lo! it's going to be fun tonight! >> steve: calm it down. >> jimmy: calm it down. everyone just has to calm down. >> steve: simmer down now! simmer down! you gotta calm down, dudes! dude, you gotta calm it! >> jimmy: calm down, man! >> steve: woo! [ cheers ] >> jimmy: you can't calm them down! [ cheers ] >> steve: this is nuts. it's nuts in here. >> jimmy: it's nuts in here. >> steve: nuts in here, too. >> jimmy: thank you. hey, do you guys ever wonder what celebrities are whispering to each on when they're on the red carpet or at a press conference? they're always like, whispering stuff to each other? we have, too. and that's why we sent our entertainment correspondent from the uk, mr. peggy hess, with his highly sensitive microphones to get to the bottom of it. that's right. it is time for "celebrity whispers." ♪ >> jimmy: hello. i'm peggy hess and welcome to "celebrity whispers."
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sshh. [ whispering ] >> favorite backstreet boy song? >> i don't know any. >> wait, are you serious? >> no, of course i do. "as long as you love me." "everybody." "larger than life." "i want it -- that way." >> jimmy: "celebrity whispers!" [ whispering ] >> a sphincter says what? >> what? >> exactly! hahaha. >> jimmy: celebrity! [ whispering ] >> who let the dogs out? >> who? >> jimmy: whisper! [ whispering ] >> do you know the sound an old fish makes? >> no. what? what is it? >> it's like -- [ babbling ] hahaha, it tickles. >> jimmy: you know that was a whisper!
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[ whispering ] >> oh, yeah. hot sausage. >> hot sausage? >> i don't know what you're saying. you're talking nonsense. >> what are you talking about nonsense? what you're saying is just nonsense. >> how is this for nonsense? i'm in the trees with jelly beans watching dogs every other friday. [ light laughter ] >> you going to the baseball game with a furby? >> yeah, yeah, yeah. that's nonsense. >> okay! >> jimmy: celebriti! [ whispering ] >> hey, how are you? >> good, good to see you. >> hey, don't you do a really good impression of someone from "star wars"? is it chewbacca? [ wookie noise ] that's a whisper! >> jimmy: i'm peggy hess. i'll see you next time on "celebrity whispers." [ cheers and applause ] that was our "celebrity whispers." we'll be right back with billy crystal! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ what's that? subway big hot pastrami. pastra-me? no, pastra-me. pastra-me!
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[ laughs ] [ grunts ] pastra-me! [ grunts ] pastra-mee! [ laughs ] whoa! pastra-meee! pastra-meeee! pastrami! [ male announcer ] get your own subway big hot pastrami! tender, juicy beef on freshly baked bread -- enjoy yours with mustard and pickles! subway. eat fresh. ♪ i've got the power cuztard i live like i want, huh! ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: our first guest, we love him. he is an emmy award winning performer and a legendary comedian who is on a real hot streak. now, his latest book, "still foolin' 'em," opened at number two on "the new york times" bestseller list. and this wednesday he returns to broadway with his one-man show, "700 sundays." i will be at that show. i saw it before, but i'm going to see it again because it is that good. i will be there. please welcome the one and only, billy crystal, everybody.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome. welcome -- >> so good to be back. >> jimmy: welcome back to our show. we love you. they love you. [ cheers and applause ] congrats on the book. i do love this book. if you're a fan of comedy in general, i think you should just read this book. it is fantastic. >> okay. >> jimmy: no, no, you wrote it. i was going to ask you, you see all these photos and things of all your different characters that you do. >> right. >> jimmy: and i was just going like, "how do you come up with a new characters?" >> the new ones? >> jimmy: yeah, or anyone. >> well, the new ones -- you live in new york. you walk around the streets and they're there. [ light laughter ]
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so you just start doing people. but when i first started out, i used to go out places to find people who were in pain. or people who were tense. so like small claims court was the best place. [ laughter ] no, because it's not a lot of money. >> jimmy: no, it's not. >> so they're al upset. and judging by the name of the people in the cases, you can tell how the case is going to go. "rafael hernandez v. american airlines"? [ laughter ] i mean, it's over. >> jimmy: it's over. it's over before it even begins. >> you look for that. besides imitating your relatives and things like that. >> jimmy: i used to imitate my relatives, too. but does that leads to impressions of celebrities as well? >> yeah. sometimes you don't know what voice is gonna lead you. like, i was really trying to do brando in "the godfather." when "the godfather" came out. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it was an iconic actor, the greatest of all time. >> jimmy: of course. >> and i'm listening to him, and i go, "oh, i can sound like that." and yet it led me in other places. brando started out like -- [ imitating brando ] "michael, i always wanted this for you. i wanted --"
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but it ended up becoming muhammad ali. [ laughter ] it was like this -- [ imitating ali ] "michael, i want this for you. i wanted to be the greatest of all time." [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: so what was "the godfather" ended up as the greatest of all time. >> and you'd never know. you never know. >> jimmy: that's the way to do it. "still foolin' 'em" is the name of the book. that's something you say, right? >> it is something i've said right before i go on. it's that last look in the mirror. still foolin' 'em. still getting away with this stuff. >> jimmy: do you think you're getting away with something? >> don't you always feel like you are? >> jimmy: i do, but yeah. [ laughter ] >> i don't want to say that, because that'll catch up to me in someplace. >> jimmy: no, no. i think i deserve to be here. >> it was not the original name of the book. >> jimmy: what was the original name? >> "man tits." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: billy, no. i'm learning a lot about you. [ talking over each other ] >> i thought it was a funny idea. because, listen. you're walking in at a book store. and you see my face and it says "man tits."
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you're going to buy it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm so happy someone talked you out of it. >> you're walking in the airport. next to the news. "man tits." >> jimmy: yeah. the number one book in "the new york times." "man tits." >> see it today. >> jimmy: i would have bought that. but i bought "still foolin' 'em." >> i had a great time doing it. i turned 65 in march. i know i look fabulous. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you look fantastic. you really do. >> and it felt like i should do this. so i thought i would go on tour. i thought i would go out on and do stand up, which i have not done in a long time. my touring has been with "700 sundays." so i thought i would just get out get back and do what i started out doing. so, i started writing and it kept coming out more like a book. and that's how it became. >> jimmy: how do you write? do you record yourself? >> sometimes. sometimes i'm just sitting there and just going. >> jimmy: do you do it on a laptop or a typewriter? [ light laughter ] >> typewriter? >> jimmy: some people do typewriters. they're having a big comeback. >> yeah, ben franklin. [ laughter ] and then i flew the kite. [ laughter ] i lost my key. that's where it was. at the end of the kite. >> jimmy: -- typewriter.
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>> sometimes we just rip. sometimes something happened with friends, it would be a funny little thing. i would write it down and do it. it became this book. and then there was a really funny chapter about getting older. and i decided one morning to write the book. i got up, jimmy. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and when i walked to the bathroom, i realized i was kicking my testicles in front of me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. that's a problem right there. >> so i should write a book. >> jimmy: you should write a book right there. >> now, the audio book is great. i did it in front of a live audience. you know like the comedy albums that we grew up on? >> jimmy: oh, i love it. >> so it is a different kind of thing. so check it out. >> jimmy: absolutely. i would love to do that. we were saying like "what's on the best seller list besides your book?" i was looking at -- and right by you, is "si-cology." >> yes. >> jimmy: which is the guy from "duck dynasty," si. has a book called si -- it's a book of one liners. i know you were saying backstage you love "duck dynasty." >> yeah. but i have a bone to pick with "duck dynasty."
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>> jimmy: do you? >> well, it is a very successful show. people love these characters. they're really great. but actually, it was a rip-off of something that my family did about four or five years ago. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah. i brought the clip. you should roll it. >> jimmy: here we go. let's look at this new show. [ applause ] ♪ >> schmuck. >> schmuck. >> schmuck. >> colbeck schmuck. >> j.crew schmuck. >> schmuck! schmuck! schmuck! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm gonna have to start watching that! >> as you should. >> jimmy: more with billy crystal when we come back, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ julie ] i've got to credit my mom. to help me become an olympian, she was pretty much okay
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. we're hanging out my man billy crystal! [ cheers and applause ] here's his book right here. "new york times" best seller. "still foolin' 'em." and then you're starting this up again. i cannot wait for this. "700 sundays" back on broadway. do you remember -- you probably have seen everybody. when i came to see the show? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i can't express how much i liked this show. you go there and you're just laughing and you're laughing so hard. and then it gets really touching, really moving. and i'm crying really hard. and everyone is crying.
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and it is such a roller coaster. and then you're laughing again. and you feel great when you leave. but when i went backstage, i was just puffy. i was like, "hey, man. [ sniffles ] good to see you, man." it was awful. >> i said to my assistant, "is jimmy on something?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i was such a wreck. >> it is a very emotional night. >> jimmy: beautiful, beautiful one-man show. >> i'm thrilled to do it again. we are opening wednesday night. and broadway openings are very exciting. >> jimmy: it's so fun. i'm coming wednesday. >> when jimmy came -- i think i told this last time. but it is worth mentioning again. first of all it was great to see him. because we've known each other a long time. >> jimmy: that's right. >> and sandy koufax was there that night. >> jimmy: i'll never forget this. >> and sandy koufax is maybe the greatest pitcher in the history of baseball. >> jimmy: sandy koufax. [ cheers ] you think of the name, you think of a like a baseball card. i didn't think i'd actually see the man. >> and then he happened to be there that night. and jimmy was like a puppy. you were like a puppy. [ light laughter ] a little watery-eyed puppy. >> jimmy: i was freaked out. >> and we went out afterward until 3:00 in the morning. >> jimmy: with sandy koufax. >> and it was hilarious. you were calling your dad. you go -- [ imitating jimmy ] "you wouldn't even believe what's going on!" [ light laughter ] we're eating at this italian restaurant. and like -- [ imitating jimmy ]
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"sandy is having pasta!" [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: what was he eating? >> i'll call you back. i'll call you back. >> jimmy: i could not believe it. >> oh, it's great. >> jimmy: "700 sundays" is the amount of time, the sundays that you spent with your father. he passed away when you were 15? >> right. >> jimmy: and it's just touching. and your dad was awesome. you realize, he had his own jazz label? >> my uncle had the label. my dad ran the label. the commodore jazz label, which was the pioneering label of jazz started in 1938. all of billie holliday's great things. >> jimmy: didn't you go to the movies with -- >> yeah. there's a scene in the show where i'm at my first movie with billie holliday. >> jimmy: with billie holiday. >> and it's -- it's a very funny kind of wonderful thing to play as an actor. >> jimmy: i love the opening is bob sheppard, does the opening. i'm not going on ruin the joke. bu it's a great -- it starts off funny and ends funny. it's such a good -- look at all the people -- >> this is the souvenir book
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which i thought you'd get a kick out of. it has a lot of pictures from "snl" and stuff that i was on. >> jimmy: all billy crystal. [ applause ] this is yul brynner's sister. >> this was from a sketch we did when i was on "snl," called "life styles of the relatives of the rich and famous." and i was yul brynner's sister, ruth who was a travel agent. [ light laughter ] i said -- [ imitating accent ] "i can get there, but you have to go to atlanta." [ laughter ] it was on "snl." [ talking over each other ] great times. didn't you have good times when you did it? you had to change really fast? >> jimmy: it's the most fun thing in the world, because what people don't realize when you're watching at home, it is a commercial. but, in real life, it is a live show. people are rushing around changing outfits and putting wigs on. >> yeah, the first time i was doing sammy, i was hosting the show. 1984. and i was about to do a sketch playing wit joe piscopo who was playing ronald reagan. this is how long ago this is. so i had never played the character. i was sammy davis jr.'s opening act for a long time. so when you would come backstage before the show to get ready, i would sit with sammy for hours. and when you're talking to this legendary guy, jimmy, you cannot
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help but not -- [ imitating davis, jr. ] -- start to talk like him. as you're about to go onstage yourself. and that gets exciting. so then i said, we wrote the sketch where i was going to play sammy visiting reagan in the oval office. so you run to this, the bleachers. and they're putting rings on my hands and they're putting the color on my skin. and now they're gluing the nose and the mustache, and --new eyebrows. and putting a coat and they're forcing my feet into these boots. heels like that. and joe dicso as the stage manager. "20 seconds. i've got to have him in 20 seconds." because the live television. there is nothing like it. nothing like it. so -- got to take him. what do i look like? i did not know what i look like. and they put up a mirror and now i'm sammy davis jr. and i started laughing. i just started laughing so hard. but when i walked into the sketch, i blew the sketch entirely because i was laughing. i was just laughing. >> jimmy: they are amazing at "saturday night live." amazing makeup artists.
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>> i had the best time there. >> jimmy: we love -- that's my school, "saturday night live." we took it to this show, "late night." but we also used a lot this show to learn new things. we have technology now. it's a brand new thing. we love technology. where we can allow guests to interview themselves. it's amazing. >> how do you do that? >> jimmy: let's try it. it is time for a lip flip. ♪ it's a lip flip when you flip your lip it's a lip flip yeah ♪ [ light laughter ] >> i -- my name -- [ mumbling ] hi, my name is jimmy and i invented this -- for people who have gray elbow skin.
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you smooth it on and then you, your elbows -- [ laughter ] -- will be better than they were before. [ applause ] [ goofy voice ] >> jimmy: hi. hi, there! a lot of you don't realize, this is my real voice. [ laughter ] [ normal voice ] i use this normal voice. [ goofy voice ] but my real voice is this. and i'm celebrating my anniversary. somebody baked a cake for me! [ babbling ] [ laughter ] >> i had this --
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i had this vagina -- [ laughter and applause ] -- transplanted on to my mouth when i was 14 years old. [ laughter ] and you know something? i love it. [ laughter ] would -- [ stuttering ] --would you like to see me do an impression? >> audience: yeah! [ cheers ] >> gary busey. [ laughter ] [ imitating busey ] "rainbow on a crazy spaceship, man."
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jimmy, would you like to sing a song with me? would you? >> jimmy: yeah, sure, sure. okay. ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ >> okay. here we go. [ laughter ] you start. i'll go after you. ♪ thank you ♪ to all the girls i loved before ♪ ♪ who traveled in and out my door ♪
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[ laughter ] ♪ you came along and helped me write this song ♪ ♪ to all girls i loved before ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the one and only billy crystal right there! [ cheers and applause ] "700 sundays" through january 5th. it's great at the imperial theatre here in new york. we'll be right back with evan rachel wood, everybody! come on back! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is an emmy and golden globe nominated actress who you can see in two new movies, "a case of you," which is currently in theaters. and "charlie countryman," which is in theaters and on demand november 15th.
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ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our pal, evan rachel wood! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about! welcome back, pal! you look gorgeous. >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you for coming back to our show. >> thank you for having me. >> jimmy: congratulations, you're a new mom. >> i am. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how old? >> he is the three months old now. >> jimmy: my baby is three months old, too. >> i know. we had them very, very close together. >> jimmy: very, very close. what is yours doing? is yours doing any tricks? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: trying to teach her different -- [ talking over each other ] oh, he only speaks one language. my baby speaks three. no big deal. [ light laughter ] he'll get around to it. >> you had a girl though, right? maybe we can get an arranged marriage going on.
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>> jimmy: totally. she's -- yeah. >> hook these two up. >> jimmy: that'd be so fun, yeah. i love it. are you doing all the music for the babies and doing everything like "baby einstein" stuff? >> yes. i do "baby einstein." and there's also this amazing brand called rockabye baby. send me free stuff. i totally just plugged that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: me too! me too! >> basically -- >> jimmy: also, does he ride a mercedes-benz? >> yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: babies love to ride those cars. >> mm hmm. love it. >> jimmy: and on vacation in -- >> hawaii, hawaii. >> jimmy: hawaii vacation. god, how sad! i know what you're talking about. >> you know what i'm talking about. they're call rockabye baby and they do these lullaby renditions of like, radiohead and nirvana and coldplay and stuff. >> jimmy: they're like little xylophones. >> little -- ding, ding -- ♪ but it's like nirvana. >> jimmy: or journey. i have journey. >> like -- [ humming "smells like teen spirit" ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and they're in their tiny little crib like -- moshing.
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>> jimmy: "a case of you," this is with my man, justin long. >> yes. >> jimmy: love him. and it's a funny, funny movie. this is like a romantic comedy movie. it's where he kind of stalks you. in a nice way. >> but it is romantic stalking. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how do you do that? >> basically, why was the internet invented? so you could stalk people on facebook. potential lovers and your exes and all that. >> jimmy: so you know you're doing better than them. >> exactly. and they look like they're having fun! >> jimmy: he got fat and bald. >> yeah. but justin's character takes it one step too far and basically stalks her facebook profile to find out what she likes so he can become her dream man. and of course, things go wrong in the process. >> jimmy: then the other one is with shia labeouf? am i pronouncing it right? >> shia labeouf. >> jimmy: am i pronouncing it right? >> yes, shia labeouf. >> jimmy: shia labweff. >> labweff. >> jimmy: chet labewff. [ light laughter ] chet labweff is my favorite
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restaurant. some dinners -- but shia labeouf is in this movie. and in this movie you have a romanian action send. [ romanian accent ] >> i have a romanian accent. [ romanian accent ] >> jimmy: very good. now, did you take class to talk like this? >> you got a little russian. >> jimmy: sorry, i'm not an actor. >> no, no. yes, i did. i studied for three months before we started filming and then we didn't have the money to keep the dialect coach on the set. so i basically just had to listen to the locals as a romanian. >> jimmy: how was romania? give us the scoop on that. >> oh, man. it is intense. it is not here. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's the worst guide description. you are not in america. >> you are not in america. >> jimmy: we have a clip of evan and shia labeouf in "charlie countryman." take a look. ♪ [ indistinct talking ]
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>> say, okay. charlie, please. >> yeah, i can't either. i don't know how to do that. i don't know how to do that, i'm sorry. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i always wanted to do that! oh, you're so cool! evan rachel wood! "a case of you" is in theaters now. "charlie countryman" is in theaters and on demand this friday. cher lloyd featuring skee-lo performs next. come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ smoke?
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if you've had a heart attack, be sure to talk to your doctor before you begin an aspirin regimen.
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>> jimmy: our next guest will release her second album, "sorry i'm late," next year. she's here tonight for a special performance of the single, "i
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wish." i'm so psyched she's doing this, thank you. featuring skee-lo and the roots, please welcome cher lloyd! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ uh-huh, ha, ha, yeah baby, i seen the chick you're with wish that i never did ♪ ♪ freakin' perfect and five foot ten, just wanna punch her lip 'cause i know i've been wasting time tryinna ♪ ♪ catch your eye yeah i know that i been so blind thinking that i'm your type ♪ ♪ and now i'm at home i'm all alone ♪ ♪ 'bout to pick up the telephone got to call my genie so he knows ♪ ♪ i wish i was tall i wish i was fast wish i could shop with a bag full of cash ♪ ♪ 'cause if i want you i gotta have that
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come, come kiss me boy ♪ ♪ i wish i had style i wish i had flash wish i woke up with a butt and a rack ♪ ♪ 'cause if i want you i gotta have that come, come kiss me boy ♪ ♪ uh-huh yeah ♪ i wish i was little bit taller,i wish i was a baller ♪ ♪ i wish i had a girl who looked good i would call her ♪ ♪ i wish i had a rabbit in a hat, a bat and a 64' impala ♪ ♪ i wish i was like six-foot-nine so i can get with leoshi cause she don't know me ♪ ♪ but yo she's really fine i see her all the time everywhere i go ♪ ♪ even in my dreams i can scheme a way to make her mine ♪ ♪ cause i know she's livin phat her boyfriend's tall and he plays ball ♪ ♪ so how am i gonna compete with that 'cause when it comes to playing basketball i'm always ♪ ♪ last to be picked and in some cases never picked at all ♪ ♪ so i just lean up on the wall or sit up in the bleachers with the rest ♪ ♪ of the girls who came
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to watch their men ball ♪ ♪ dag y'all! i never understood black ♪ ♪ the jocks get the fly girls, me i get the hood rats ♪ ♪ i wish i was little bit taller wish i was a baller ♪ ♪ i wish i had a girl who looked good i would call her ♪ ♪h i wish i had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a 64' impala ♪ ♪ i wish i was little bit taller wish i was a baller ♪ ♪ i wish i had a girl who looked good i would call her ♪ ♪h wish i had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a 64' impala ♪ ♪ i got to call my genie so he knows, yeah ♪ ♪ i wish i was tall i wish i was fast wish i could shop with a bag full of cash ♪ ♪ 'cause if i want you i gotta have that come, come kiss me boy ♪ ♪ i wish i had style i wish i had flash wish i woke up with a butt and a rack ♪ ♪ 'cause if i want you i gotta have that come, come kiss me boy ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about! skee-lo!
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cher lloyd! thank you so much. "sorry i'm late" will be in stores next year, you guys. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to billy crystal, evan rachel wood, cher lloyd, skee-lo. and the greatest band in late night, the roots, ladies and gentlemen! stay tuned for carson daly. thank you for watching. have a good night. hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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