tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC October 8, 2014 12:36am-1:38am PDT
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to kristen stewart, artie lange, jason aldean once again! [ cheers and applause ] nas and the roots from philadelphia, ladies and gentlemen! oh, my goodness. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. hope to see you tomorrow. buh-bye, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight, jeffery tambor,
comedian and actress retta, the cast of "impractical jokers," featuring the 8g band. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] and now, here he is, seth meyers. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, everyone. good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how we all doing tonight? is everyone well? [ cheers and applause ] good to hear. that is great to hear, because today, everybody today, it's a big day. today is vladimir putin's 62nd birthday. [ cheers and applause ] 62nd birthday. when he got his presents, he said, "you didn't have to get me anything, i could have just taken it." [ laughter ] they held a huge celebration in
russia. for putin's birthday, people who attended the celebration called it spectacular and mandatory. [ laughter and applause ] to the two keys to any great birthday party. [ light laughter ] it's vladimir putin's birthday, but what do you get, what do you get for the man who already has crimea? [ laughter ] i'm asking. you don't know. ebola is of course still a big story. the world health organization has warned male survivors of ebola to use condoms because the disease can still be spread sexually for up to 70 days after the rest of the body is cured. although, you know what, male ebola survivors? go ahead and take the whole year off. [ laughter ] you've been through a lot. [ applause ] you don't have to rush back into the dating scene. you don't need to crawl out of bed post-ebola and get right on
tinder. [ laughter ] drink some fluids, watch some tv. you gotta catch up on tv. binge watch some stuff. take the year off. this is interesting. according to a new study, men who spend less money on an engagement ring, men who spend less money on an engagement ring are less likely to get divorced. so great news ladies, you're gonna spend the rest of your life with that cheap bastard. [ laughter and applause ] he's yours forever. he's yours forever. i think i did a pretty good job ignoring the phone that was ringing through that joke. [ laughter ] all things considered. [ cheers and applause ] all things considered. but i don't -- i don't want anybody to be concerned that i have hearing issues and i couldn't hear it. [ laughter ] i heard it and i did a good job of ignoring it. but then when it was over, i wanted to let you know i heard it. [ laughter ] because someone is thinking, "oh, i got away with it."
[ laughter ] almost. listen to this. according to a recent study, sexting, sexting is considered the new normal for teens. of course, all that sexting eventually leads to the old normal. [ laughter and applause ] i think we all know, it goes back to the old normal. i really, i really like this story. tech experts, tech experts say that facebook is planning to launch a service that lets users send each other money using the sites messaging feature. said moms, "oh, so now you're happy i'm on facebook. [ laughter ] now it's okay." [ applause ] this is cool. in a new interview with "vanity fair," jennifer lawrence said she took nude photos because
quote, "your boyfriend is going to look at porn, or he's going to look at you. replace that or with and, and you are right. [ laughter and applause ] you are right. this is just crazy. two women in washington state have been arrested after they broke into the governor's office and stole items including an animal fur mask, a ceremonial hat, a tribal blanket and a photo of magic johnson. [ laughter ] the women are being held for questioning, but most of the questions i have are for the governor. [ laughter and applause ] mostly -- mostly about the magic johnson photo. [ laughter ] the other three at least seem thematically connected. [ laughter ]
do you guys remember the cronut? everybody remember -- [ cheers ] yeah, well the cronut, there's some good news if you're interested in the cronut. baker dominique ansel has released an at home recipe for his famous cronuts that uses 26 tablespoons of butter and over a quarter cup -- a quarter cup of sugar. or as paula deen calls that, a smoothie. [ laughter and applause ] and finally, this is fascinating. archaeologists in arizona have discover the remains of a 1,300-year-old village. they found dwellings, stone tools and hundreds of ballads cast for senator john mccain. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, this is the 8g band. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
>> seth: how we doing 8g band? lovely to see you all. lovely to see everyone here. a very fun night for me last night. my mom and dad were in the audience. that's always exciting for me. also, they thought it was a really good show, so -- [ light laughter ] that's good, too. i had to warn my parents because whenever they were there, we cut to them in the audience and my mother in particular, every time the camera cuts to her, she looks so excited that she comes off a little crazy. [ light laughter ] so i just warned her before hand, just try to be a normal person when we cut to you in the audience. and i have to say, success for my mom and then my dad came up a little bit short. let's take a look. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: i will say, if i had a moustache as good as my dad's i would also be that happy all the time. [ laughter ] i'm doing a show in las vegas on saturday night at the cosmopolitan casino. i'm very excited about that. that's this coming saturday.
i love going to las vegas. it's always really fun. my favorite thing about going to las vegas is it's the one destination in america that when you fly there, people start acting like they're there when they board the flight. [ laughter ] every other place you go in this country, you wait until you get there to start acting like you're there. but on flights to vegas, people are already in full party mode. [ light laughter ] terrible pacing. especially flying from the east coast. they're in like -- they're already drinking, and you want to say, "you're not 5.5 hours away from the table, you're 5.5 hours away from baggage claim." [ laughter ] there's always a group of guys who book their tickets late. and so, and they're just yelling at each other from seats that aren't next to each other. act like they're in a nightclub. they're like, "dude! jack and coke! jack and coke! should we get -- can we get a round of jack and coke?" you can't do this on an airplane. [ light laughter ] don't ever -- don't ever do this on an airplane. [ applause ] so i'm very excited about that. this coming saturday. and i'm very, very excited for tonight. we have an excellent show for
you guys. from the new show "transparent," jeffrey tambor is here. [ cheers and applause ] it is a great show and i cannot wait to talk to him about it. also joining us, one of the stars of "parks and recreation" and very funny comedienne, retta will be with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] love retta. and we will be talking to the stars and creators of the hit trutv show, "impractical jokers" which will be a delight, as well. [ cheers and applause ] now, some good news, bad news. bad news, fred is not with us tonight. the good news, fred's going to be back next week. we're so excited to finally have fred back. he's been working on "portlandia." he's been in portland and we've come up with a way to keep fred involved while he's gone in a segment we have been calling "fred-ex." we -- this is not a promotional tie-in with the good people at fedex because we were idiots and did not ask them for money before we started doing this. [ light laughter ] the way "fred-ex" works is we pack up a box and we send it off to fred. it has three prompts in it and a question, and then he films himself after he creates a character. he films himself answering the
question. last time we sent him a blonde wig, a visor and mustache. fred created a philosopher who was trying to come up with something very quotable. let's take a look. >> fred: italians, thank you for everything. [ laughter ] holidays, what? space, man will never get to the furthest reaches of space until he reaches into the furthest reaches of himself. [ light laughter ] that was a good quote. >> yeah. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: all right, so, this week we are going to send a hat. we'll throw a hat in there. we'll send in a pair of sunglasses. we will -- this is very fun. we're going to send him a soul patch. that will be good. [ laughter ] and of course our sealed question, so, now what we do is we seal up the fedex box, and then i hand it off to my incredible assistant, erica, who will get that in the mail. [ cheers and applause ] and then on thursday, we will see what fred sends back to us.
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make 20 or more purchases in a monthly billing period and earn 20% more rewards. it's membership that rewards you for the things you already buy, everyday. what's your 20? ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everyone. we have a great show for you tonight. but every once in a while, i like to take time out to get to know my audience a little better. so, is there anyone here from out of town? yes, ma'am, i see you with your
hand up. where are you from? >> i'm here from omaha, nebraska. >> seth: okay, that's great. and are you enjoying your trip so far? >> i'm having a great time. >> seth: oh, that's wonderful to hear. well, welcome to "late night." and i see a couple of hands over there in the middle. yep, where are you guys from? >> yeah, we're from gotham city. [ laughter ] >> seth: the gotham city? >> yeah, gotham city. i live in downtown gotham city right by wayne tower. >> and i live in a condo a couple blocks from arkham asylum. [ laughter ] >> seth: well, obviously i have to ask, have you guys ever seen batman? >> okay. here we go. [ laughter ] >> here we go. should have seen this one coming. >> surprise, surprise. he wants to talk about batman. >> seth: i'm sorry, but if you guys are from gotham city, of course i'm going to want to talk about batman. >> seth -- batman really isn't a big deal to us. he's like that naked cowboy guy in times square. you know? [ laughter and applause ]
he's nothing more than a tourist attraction. >> i mean, as a new yorker, are you excited when you see the naked cowboy? >> seth: i mean, no, but he's not batman. [ laughter ] >> okay, seth, seth, no offense, okay? okay? gotham has way more to offer than just batman. we have an excellent public school system, a newly revitalized waterfront. >> it is gorgeous! >> yes, it is. [ laughter ] and the gotham philharmonic led by narakumi yakamoto is world class. [ laughter ] >> and if you're a foodie, you're in luck because gotham has an amazing restaurant scene. like, the other night i went to bistro l'orange. >> oh, my god, you got in? >> i did, i did, i did. but the real miracle is that i found a parking spot. [ laughter ] >> gotham city parking, am i right? oh, my gosh. >> i mean, that is what gotham city is known for -- bad parking. >> seth: no, it's known for batman. [ laughter ] >> no, it's not! >> hey!
jeremy, jeremy, relax. >> i'm sorry, jeremy. [ laughter ] >> seth: both of you guys are named jeremy? >> yes, we're the two jeremys from gotham city, and we don't like talking about the batman. >> seth: okay. what do you guys want to talk about? >> the gotham city 5k fun run. >> or the world famous gotham quiche festival. >> or watching the gotham city turbos take on the green bay packers at montgomery ward stadium. [ laughter ] >> the gotham summer jam series! >> oh, tons of bands come out. last year, the barenaked ladies rocked the house. >> oh, my god! such a great show. so, so good. a little short, though, right? >> right, right. why was that? >> oh, yeah. i remember. the joker flew a crop duster over the crowd and doused us all with a bunch of laughing gas and kidnapped the band. but don't worry! everyone was saved. [ laughter ] >> seth: and who saved everyone? >> would you believe it was world-class conductor narakumi yakamoto? [ laughter ] >> seth: no, i wouldn't believe that. >> hey seth, how's your dog? >> seth: don't change the subject, jeremy.
did batman save everyone? >> both: yes. [ laughter ] >> well, he didn't save all of them. the joker threw the drummer into a vat of acid. [ laughter ] >> and i would drink a cup of acid if that meant that i didn't have to answer another question about batman! >> seth, i bet you don't even care that gotham has the second largest botanical garden in the country. >> seth: i don't unless poison ivy lives there. [ laughter ] >> well, she does. and it's a huge problem. >> seth: okay, fine. [ laughter and applause ] here's a question that's not related to batman at all. where exactly is gotham city? >> what's that? [ laughter ] >> seth: where is gotham city located? >> the united states? >> seth: yeah, but where in the united states? >> gotham city? >> seth: where is gotham city? >> gotham county? [ laughter ] >> seth: if i were to get in my car and drive ten minutes south of gotham city, where would i
be? >> outskirts of gotham? [ laughter ] >> seth: what state is it in? >> gotham city state of mind? [ laughter ] ♪ in gotham hungry jungle where batman's not really a big deal ♪ ♪ in gotham [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: the two jeremys from gotham city. we'll be right back with jeffrey tambor. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ female announcer ] we lowered her fever. you raise her spirits. we tackled your shoulder pain. you make him rookie of the year. we took care of your cold symptoms. you take him on an adventure. tylenol® has been the number 1 doctor recommended brand of pain reliever for over 20 years. but for everything we do, we know you do so much more.
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>> honey, all my life, my whole life i've been dressing up like a man. this is me. >> seth: please welcome jeffrey tambor. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: it's so -- it is a big deal for me to have you on the show. i've been a fan of yours for so long. >> thank you, thank you. >> seth: i'm very excited to have you. >> i'm pleased -- honored to be here. i usually don't stay up this late. >> seth: it's nice -- thank you for making the effort. >> okay. >> seth: congratulations on the show. >> thank you very much. >> seth: you play a transgender person.
>> absolutely. >> seth: the first episode is about you having -- children? >> yeah. i play a character who was the patriarch of the family who is now transitioning into the matriarch of the family named maura. and it's -- when i was doing that scene that you were just watching, i remember i was shaking so much because it was -- as i was telling you earlier, i was throw-up nervous. >> seth: throughout the whole 10 episodes, or just in the in the beginning? was that a particularly hard? no, i -- i mean, because again it was very -- >> well that's interesting that you say that -- no, just -- because it was important. i wanted to do this not because i wanted to get good reviews or -- i wanted to do this right. i mean, it's important. it's an important -- it's an important subject, and i was helped beautifully by the writing of jill soloway, who's a genius writer and director. and then people from -- wonderful people from the transgender community, jennifer boylan, and reece earnest, zachary drucker. they helped me inexorably to
this wonderful, wonderful character. >> seth: and there, obviously there's not a lot of television with transgender characters like this, and you can tell that it's being treated with an incredible attention to detail. >> yeah. and as i say, it's very, very, very important to me. and it's a subject that i hope -- you know, love. our series is very funny. it's about the pfefferman family. i'm just 1/5 of the story. but what happens in a family, and we're all getting close to thanksgiving, you know, when uncle sid has two or three drink too much and finally tells the family secret. >> seth: sure. >> everyone goes, "oh, my god." and so everyone seems to find that the family is very real. what happens in a family when someone decides to change? and that's what our show is about. >> seth: what -- you know, i'm halfway through the season. and i will say you think you know -- you've seen so many things about people telling secrets. there's not a cliche move in the series. everybody reacts be in a way that you don't see coming. which is really delightful. >> yeah, jill is amazing. and amazon is amazing.
they've been just wonderful and positive. and as i said -- i mean, everywhere i look, there's gabby hoffman. there's jay duplass, there's amy landecker, there's the great judith light who plays -- >> judith light immediately in the pantheon of great jewish mother performances in that. >> right up there. >> seth: she's like -- it's outstanding. she's outstanding. >> i've known her for 40 years. >> seth: really? >> yeah. >> seth: wow. from -- wouldn't it be funny if i was lying and i hadn't known her for 40 years? >> seth: well, we're going to have our researcher check on it, and we'll come back at the end of the episode and let you know. >> i've known her for 40 years. we did repertory theater in milwaukee together. >> seth: wow. >> yeah. i'm old. >> seth: yeah, well. but the interesting thing is you came to acting later in life. you were going to be -- >> i came from new york very late. i was going to be a professor at -- i was a professor -- well, i was a teaching -- i was one of those guys. [ laughter ] >> seth: right. >> and -- at wayne state university where i got my m.a.
and p.h., and in front of my d., i said what am i doing? i want to be an actor, and so i went to new york and did the new york shakespeare festival, and that was my first time i was ever booed. >> seth: really? that is interesting because you're getting such good reviews for "transparent." do you remember your bad reviews? >> well, i do remember that man in the first row -- i came out to take my bow for measure for measure, him going like this and going -- boo! [ laughter ] i remember that. [ applause ] >> seth: wow. >> yeah. i bowed, and i just kept going to the flow -- >> seth: yeah. he either loved shakespeare or thought he was going a jets game. >> i think he -- i think he loved shakespeare. >> seth: yeah. any bad reviews that you remember in your life, though? like, i mean the printed word. >> no, the guy, william moot -- i guess he might be gone. >> seth: so this was awhile ago then. >> he gave me a bad review, i
remember my wife saying -- i said, "where's the paper?" and she said, we didn't -- they didn't -- there is no paper. i looked down, and there was a bulge in her robe. and i said, "let's have it." she goes, "don't. don't. don't." and i read it, and it was like headlined like, "tambor sucks" or "tambor bad" or "boo." [ laughter ] >> seth: right. >> yeah. and -- but we've gotten great reviews for "transparent." they've been wonderful. and what's this called? twitter. >> seth: oh yeah. [ laughter ] twitter. that's what they call it. >> i'm old. i've said it before. people are tweeting nice things, and people are writing nice things. >> seth: also, you know, for the last season of "arrested development" -- >> how many years have you been in this building? >> seth: this building? 2001. so like 13, 14 years. yeah. >> wow. go ahead. >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] my first day i met judith light -- >> this is about me. [ laughter and applause ]
>> seth: very rude of me. very rude of me. you -- >> what was she like? >> seth: she's great. >> she's nice. >> seth: she's very nice. >> and pretty. >> seth: very pretty. >> and talented. >> seth: all those things. all those things. you -- patriarch in "arrested development." patriarch, now a matriarch in this show. you're also -- >> and patriarch in "the hangover." >> seth: yes. there you go. a lot of patriarchs. and you -- [ cheers and applause ] it comes as no surprise that in real life you're a patriarch. >> oh, i have five kids. >> seth: five kids. >> i have a daughter in her late 30s. she's 40. [ laughter ] >> seth: don't apologize to me, i'm not the problem. >> and then i have -- wait for it -- at home, 9, 7, and two 5s. >> seth: wow. >> yes. they just turned five. we went to the bronx zoo -- have you been to the bronx zoo? >> seth: i've never been to the bronx zoo. [ laughter ] >> but you've been here for 13 years. >> seth: well, i -- how many times have you been before you just went?
>> one. >> seth: okay. well -- >> it is great. we had a great time. >> seth: okay, the kids liked it? >> yes. so, i have -- anyway, a large difference in ages. a long time between -- >> seth: right. what is -- when you have a 9, a 7, and two 5s, i imagine it's quite a scene at the dinner table. >> oh, no. it's quiet and rustic. it's like a bowling alley. it's -- it's loud. so do you have kids? >> seth: no. >> what's up? >> seth: i just got married. [ laughter ] so, you need time. >> oh. are you going to have kids? >> seth: i am, yeah. >> i'll take you through. it. >> seth: okay, cool, thank you. >> just a little wine,like dave brubeck, some, you know -- >> seth: oh, this is taking me through the process of getting children. [ laughter ] >> oh, i see. i see. >> seth: no, i know how to get them. >> we'll talk, we'll talk. >> seth: okay, got ya. >> hey, everybody, check out -- go ahead. you take it. >> seth: no i'm not done. i don't want to go to commercial yet. >> i don't want to go. let's not go to commercial.
>> seth: we're not going to commercial yet because i have a few more things i want to ask you. [ cheers and applause ] i would be remiss if i didn't -- >> go ahead. >> seth: go ahead, i feel like you had something big. >> i did. >> seth: okay, go for it. >> it's over. i had gas. >> seth: oh, you had gas. >> i'm old. >> seth: "larry sander show," hank, one of the great -- >> changed my life. >> seth: that was it? that was the changer? [ applause ] >> and garry shandling. do you know him? >> seth: i've never -- i've met him once. but i don't know him. >> oh, same day as judith light? >> seth: yes. same elevator. and twitter. >> he twittered -- and i won't wake up screaming that i did this. he wrote -- he tweeted, everybody watch "transparent." and i haven't talked to him in about a year and a half. isn't that nice? >> seth: that's really nice. >> that's a gentleman. >> seth: well, you know i think we've both been lucky enough to work with incredible casts. and you never forget those people. >> i'm a lucky guy. >> seth: did you ever have -- what was the -- you had great acting gigs. worst acting gigs?
you ever have any duds? >> i played joseph. in the milwaukee repertory i played joseph in the mystery plays. and when the baby jesus us came out, it was supposed to be a meaningful moment. and for some reason, i got -- i got a big laugh opening night. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's not good. >> i guess i did a take, and i shouldn't have. and -- >> seth: where did this come from? >> i did a little scene. >> seth: i never drank wine, i've never played dave brubeck, where is this baby from? >> i don't understand, right. how could this -- i never looked at her. i don't understand. >> seth: well, congratulations again on the show. >> thank you. what a wonderful host you are. >> seth: oh, well that's so kind of you to say. >> great. get that sex life going. >> seth: thank you. i will. i think i remember most of it. i think i remember, jeffrey tambor, everybody. check out "transparent" on amazon. we'll be right back with retta. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ the fire of 1880 couldn't stop us.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everyone! our next guest stars as donna meagle on one of my favorites, "parks and recreation," which returns for its seventh and final season later this year on nbc. she'll also be the emcee for the new york women's foundation, a night at the plaza galla taking place at the grand ballroom at the plaza on october 9th. please welcome retta. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers ]
>> seth: it is so lovely to see you. >> it's lovely to see you, classy. >> seth: how are you? >> i'm good. how are you? >> seth: i'm good. so, you have -- you know, a lot of people know you from "parks and rec." that's how i first -- [ cheers and applause ] that's how i first met you. but you've also sort of you've carved out this new existence as the tweet queen of television. you are known as the best twitter recapper of television shows. own it. own it. it's real. you own it. how did that come about? >> i have anxiety when i'm watching tv. i started watching "breaking bad" -- [ cheers ] and i was -- i didn't watch it when it aired. i watched it on of dvd. and i had so much anxiety that i started tweeting because i felt like at least friends watching with me.
and people would say "it's okay. they're going to be okay." because when those twins were on, oh my god. >> seth: yeah, yeah. those twins are spooky. >> the murderous assassins. i was paranoid when they were on the bed and he was in the shower. oh, the show's going to end right here because they're going to kill him. but everybody's like, it's fine, it's fine, you get through it, you get through. then i started tweeting all my shows. >> seth: and it's interesting. you're not always watching with people. like sometimes people that are following you on twitter know what you're about to see. >> yes. >> seth: and so then they'll gather their friends around and say retta's about to see something big. >> that happened with last season in "the good wife" when will gardner was killed. >> seth: yeah. >> oh, sorry if i messed it up for y'all. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's all right. they've had plenty of time to see it. >> yeah. but they all knew that he was going to die. and i hadn't seen it yet. and so i kept seeing tweets, at mentions to me saying, everybody get ready, get ready. retta's about to see it. retta's about to see it. i was anxious, it was like what am i about to see? what am i about to? and then, as soon i saw it and
lost my [ bleep ] i was like, oh, my god, what the hell just happened. i'm so angry. i was like, on the verge of tears. and people started tweeting to josh charles saying please get to retta. she needs your help. god bless, josh dm'd me and gave me his cell number and said, "call me." [ applause ] >> seth: i'm okay. will is just a character. >> i know. but i was so mad because i had -- we talked on twitter. and i thought he'd you know, let a sister know a little something. >> seth: no. >> i don't know how they kept it a secret, but god bless. >> seth: you got to be twitter's official live tweeter of the emmys this year. >> i did. >> seth: and we -- i was so happy. you came to my emmy party. >> i did. >> seth: and you saw my parents before you knew they were my parents. >> well here's the thing -- i went with my friend, rosa. and we were in to win it. we were like ready to do this. [ laughter ]
and so -- we were there, we're dancing and then we see this couple, we see this older guy, white hair, with this older woman. i assumed they were married. and it was like one of those things -- when you go to parties in hollywood, like especially if it's at a club. it's not someone's home it's at a club, every once in a while, someone slips into the party. and i thought either this guy just happened to get in this party, was like holy crap and was like in it -- like doing it, or it was a crazy person. [ laughter ] but -- so this guy was dancing, and my friend -- nothing makes me happier than a white man that can dance. >> seth: yes. >> an older white man killing it -- he had that look on his face like -- oh. [ laughter ] >> seth: like -- >> like going up steps. just moving. he was like, oh, it is on! and the wife, the wife was like, "oh, honey." you know, it's like she was doing it. but she wasn't bringing it the way the dude was. >> seth: right. >> and then later on, i didn't know where he went.
>> seth: this episode, real quick is, going to stay on my parents' dvr forever. [ laughter ] my dad's never deleting this, this is staying on the dvr forever. >> and then i remember you were coming up to say hi, and your brother was with you. and you said, "oh, these are my parents." and i was like -- [ laughter and applause ] i was like your parents killed it! [ laughter ] it was like -- oh, my god. that was my most favorite thing of the weekend. >> seth: oh, that's so -- and this was the most favorite thing of probably of his -- the last 20 years of his life. >> it was amazing. >> seth: so you started as a standup in l.a., was that when you first -- >> no. i went to college in north carolina, so i started after i graduated -- [ applause ] >> oh, okay. i started standup there and did it for a year. then i moved to l.a. >> seth: got it. and when you -- is this true? and i heard when you were first in l.a., you liked hitting on foreign guys. >> well here --
>> seth: i'll give you as much time as you need. >> here is the thing, so the bar i used to go to was owned by an australian. and like the vacation books, when people were coming on holiday, they all had this bar in it. so there were always australians, new zealanders and guys from the u.k. and ireland. and they liked me. [ laughter ] but also, i'm a sucker for an accent. >> seth: right. >> so as soon as you say retta i -- admittedly i am down. it doesn't take a whole lot. so if you roll your r and say my name, chances are you can get in my pants. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: okay, that's good. they should put that in the guidebook. [ laughter ] last season of "parks and rec," is it hard? is it sad right now? are you guys excited? >> it's not sad. the other day amy said -- we hadn't done a group scene in a while, and we were all there. amy of like -- i'm talking to
mike, mike shore who is our creator, saying the rest of the scenes have to be group scenes. i don't know how that's going to happen. but we're okay. we only have six left, so i have a feeling it's about to start. like i couldn't get a wave of nausea every time i think about it. so -- >> seth: yeah. >> we still have our make-up trailer dance parties. so that part is still fun. >> seth: that's good. all right, that's great i'm going send my dad to the next one of those. i hope that's okay. >> yes, please. i appreciate it. >> seth: thank you very much for being here. retta, everybody. we'll be right back with the "impractical jokers." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ my name's louis, and i quit smoking with chantix. i had tried to do it in the past. i hadn't been successful. quitting smoking this time was different because i talked to my doctor and i... i got a prescription for chantix. along with support, chantix (varenicline) is proven to help people quit smoking. it was important to me that chantix was a non-nicotine pill. the fact that it reduced the urge to smoke helped me get that confidence that i could do it. some people had changes in behavior, thinking or mood,
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>> seth: how are you guys? >> good! how are you? >> seth: it's so great to have you here. "impractical jokers" is in the third season and now "jokers wild." tell us what's that? what's the difference? >> well, "impractical jokers" is a hidden camera show we've been doing for three, four years now? >> yep. >> and "jokers wild" is a sketch comedy-type show. which is -- we were a comedy troupe called the tenderloins. it's kind of getting back to our roots. >> are you familiar with sketch comedy? [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] >> seth: i'm actually -- i used to follow the tenderloins on tour. >> oh! [ laughter ] >> seth: and you're also on tour, yes? >> yeah. >> seth: so, when you guys go out on tour, is it -- i would assume your fan base now, because of the show, must be so happy to see you guys. >> we just got back from a cross-country bus tour. it was our first one that we did and our faces were on the bus. they wrapped the bus with our faces. >> yeah. >> so, we had people basically tailing us across the country. >> seth: right. [ laughter ] >> which is an experience. >> what we realized is that we don't have faces that are meant to be blown up.
[ laughter ] >> yeah. >> when you see this section in high definition bus side, it's not a good thing. >> you ever see a three-foot black tooth? [ laughter ] >> i look like i have a cantaloupe rind under my neck. >> seth: usually when people have enough money to put faces on the bus, they do a little photoshopping. it seems like you guys -- >> no, no. >> they skipped that step. more money for the bus driver. >> we keep it real. >> seth: you keep it real? [ laughter ] >> we keep it real. >> there's a big disconnect with money here. >> seth: yeah, that's true. >> tru was like, "yeah, it's good." [ laughter ] >> seth: you -- the more famous you get, i would assume the more -- because you have a prank show, because you guys are such good friends, i would imagine your fan base feels like they can approach you in a way that other people who are on television don't get approached. >> yeah. people eat food off our plates all the time. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> punch us in the mouth. it's like, "i love you, you guys!" yeah. >> seth: it is that classic thing where they learned it from you. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> they learned it from watching us. >> seth: exactly. and are people -- do people get nervous when they see you now that they're on a prank now? >> yeah. >> the strangest encounter i had was i went to see a giants game. all right, i'm in giants stadium. i go to the men's room where there's like 50 urinals in a row
and you're this close to the guy next to you, right? and i'm there doing my business, and the guy next to me goes, "dude, am i being pranked right now?" [ laughter ] and i said, "yes." [ laughter ] >> and didn't he like whisper it to you? >> yeah, he's like -- [ whispering ] "am i being pranked right now?" [ laughter ] >> you're at a urinal, man. >> seth: i would love to see whatever prank you would pull in a room full of 50 people at a urinal trying to pee. has anything -- tell me about the ones that have gone wrong. because i imagine in new york city during a prank show, they haven't all gone smoothly. >> yeah. they had me -- i was playing at the register at the supermarket, and a woman was checking out. they said, "take out your cell phone." >> seth: so, you're friends of 25 years. they're the ones that are feeding you, telling you what to do doing the show? >> yes. we met in high school. and i have to do what they tell me to do and vice-versa. if you don't, you get punished horribly. >> seth: yeah. >> so, that gives you the motivation to want to do it. >> yeah. >> so, she gave me her credit card to check out her groceries. they said, "just take out your cell phone, just snap a photo of
it for your records, of her credit card." [ laughter ] she did not take kindly. usually people will be like, "oh, i'm on a show?" we were like, "you're on a show!" she's like, "f -- your show!" [ laughter ] she called the cops. the cops came. >> yeah, she was a gang member really. [ laughter ] >> she's like -- the cops came. and then what happens to us every now and again, kind of cool, the cops were fans of the show. [ laughter ] and so, they were like, "oh, we'll squash this." [ laughter ] >> seth: not the only run-in you've had with the cops. >> no. >> no. >> seth: you went to a park and maybe misplayed this one. and i've got to be honest, i might be on the side of the law. >> i think everybody here is going to be on the side of the law. we went to a park in manhattan, in one of these real yuppy parks where like everybody's maids are watching the kids. and we were like, all right -- [ laughter ] >> that really hit home. >> seth: yeah, yeah. >> people know the yuppies. >> everybody's on a leash. [ laughter ] >> and they got the kids on a leash. >> the idea was we were supposed to go into the park and start baby-talking to the kids and then move the conversation to their parents. so, we were like, "how you
doing, little kid? isn't it nice weather today?" [ laughter ] but we didn't put together that four middle-aged men with no kids shouldn't be in a park baby-talking anybody. [ laughter and applause ] >> it took about -- it took about six minutes for a s.w.a.t. team to arrive. [ laughter ] >> and this is the first season, so the cops weren't fans of ours at that point. >> seth: yeah. >> we thought we had the whole thing figured out. we actually bought an empty stroller and was like, "we'll pretend one of these kids are ours." and there was like three kids in the park and everybody knew whose kids was who. >> it didn't work out. >> seth: you mentioned the punishments. explain. we have a particularly bad punishment -- >> well, not for me. >> seth: -- with tattoo base. so, you created this punishment. >> well, i won the episode. the three of them lost. so, i thought we would take a field trip to a tattoo parlor. >> seth: got it. and you guys did not know -- and these are real tattoos that you all still have. you did not know what the tattoo was until you removed -- >> yeah. i said, "i'll put them on you.
you can't look until we take the bandage off." >> seth: we have a clip. this is really worth seeing. >> take it off. [ laughter ] >> it isn't nothing bad. you're up. >> all right. let's see what we've got. one, two, three. [ laughter and applause ] >> it's a pirate skydiving. all right, sal, you're up. >> like a band-aid, buddy. >> three, two, one. [ laughter ] >> is this jaden smith? it's not real! that's not real! it's joke! >> it's funny. >> why would you do that to me? i'm your [ bleep ] best friend, you dope! this is going to change our whole entire friendship. [ laughter ] [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: now, you have jaden smith on your side to this day. >> so, for my life, i will have the 15-year-old version of
jaden smith three inches from my testicles. >> seth: he'll stay 15 -- he'll stay 15 as your testicles age. [ laughter ] >> i don't know about that. it may look more like morgan freeman after like a few years. [ laughter ] take a sharpie, put some freckles on him. [ laughter ] >> yeah. that's it. >> seth: but not the end of the story because you actually -- which i cannot believe this is the postscript to this. >> yeah. so, we were just happened to run into him, and he was -- he was dressed as batman. and -- >> seth: where did you "just run into him"? >> at san diego comic-con. >> seth: okay, thank you. that's very important. [ laughter ] [ talking over each other ] >> seth: nobody thinks you roll in his circle. [ laughter ] >> we're hanging out with jaden. we were in a children's park. there could have been theft. >> we were getting mugged in an alley, and he jumped in as batman. >> so, he approached us as batman, and i said to joe, "that's him, oh, my god. what do we do?" >> you have to show him your thigh. >> you have to. [ laughter ] >> seth: and you did. >> yeah, i showed my thigh. >> seth: and it looked like he was okay with it.
he is really happy. [ laughter ] >> he looks happy to you? [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: i guess that's true. he doesn't look that happy. i'm bad at reading faces. you guys, thank you very much for being here! >> thank you for having us. >> seth: the impractical jokers, everyone. check out the new show, "jokers wild," thursday nights on trutv right after "impractical jokers." we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
from "impractical jokers," and of course the 8g band. stay tuned for "carson daly." we'll see you tomorrow! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> carson: what's happening, everybody? welcome to "last call" from the beautiful queen of the night at the paramount hotel in new york city. tonight, we've got a little something for everybody. for our music, it is the tv debut of shannon and the clams. and for our comedy, we're going to spotlight stand up comic, fahim anwar. but first, conor mcgregor is an irish mixed martial artist who's been recently turning ufc heads thanks in part to his ability to take down opponents both in the ring and also from behind the microphone. he's a larger than life personality, and he's the subject he