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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  December 4, 2014 11:34pm-12:37am PST

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>> holiday tradition. is lum natd. steps from the white house. -- holiday tradition. is illuminated. steps from the white house. oakland native, tom hangs and his wife, and patti labelle and neo, and guess who joined president obama on stage. santa claus and the performers. getting jiggy with it. >> he dances and every tv show runs a clip of his dancing. >> good night. >> good night. rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his
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guests -- emma stone logan lerman musical guest, sam smith and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 145! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh! [ cheers and applause ] that's what i'm talking about right there! wow. hot crowd. you are a hot, hot crowd. welcome to the "tonight show," everybody. this is it. [ cheers and applause ] "the tonight show."
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here we are. thank you for being here. thank you for watching at home. i love you, too, i really do. [ laughter ] i do. here's what everybody's talking about, you guys. big international news here. north korean leader kim jong-un, remember everyone was worried, where is that guy? he's been hiding out? [ laughter ] he made his first public appearance yesterday in over 40 days. yeah. but since he saw his shadow, now that means 60 more years of nuclear winter. [ laughter ] scared him. >> steve: what? >> jimmy: this is good news. because of sanctions against russia, it's now rumored that vladimir putin has finally pulled troops out of ukraine. yeah. [ cheers and applause ] putin pulled out, or as he put it -- [ putin impression ] that is something she said. [ laughter ] >> steve: vlad. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i thought -- [ laughter ] he's very -- he's got a sense
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of humor i guess. >> steve: i know it's odd. odd sense of humor. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i thought this was very interesting. a recent study revealed that the reading level of presidential speeches has dropped significantly over the past 200 years. or as americans put it, why dat? [ laughter ] #frownyfaceemogi. [ laughter ] and a smiling poo. [ laughter ] well, "dancing with the stars" was on last night. did you guys watch that? [ cheers ] yeah. we love that show. last night was the big partner switch episode. yeah. tommy chong was like -- [ tommy chong impression ] "wait, we switch partners? i thought we changed wigs, man." [ laughter ] some more tv news, shonda rhimes, you know shonda rhimes -- [ cheers and applause ] creator of the hit show "scandal." very, very smart. she was asked about how she deals with big egos and divas on set, and she said, "i don't put up with b.s. or nasty people." good for her. you know what, we have a diva who works here, and i'm tired of putting up with her b.s.
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so rose, i've had it with you. you're fired. yeah. [ audience ohs ] >> [ bleep ] you fallon! >> jimmy: what? >> oh you suck -- you suck, and you always sucked! >> jimmy: get out of here! and don't let the door hit you on the way out! >> oh, don't worry, i'm leaving, you little [ bleep ] face! [ laughter and applause ] you got a lot of nerve kiddo! i've been in this business longer than you have! >> jimmy: okay, all right. go on. >> alright. >> jimmy: go on. keep walking. get out. >> i can't believe all -- come on, roots, come on. well, [ bleep ] you, too! >> jimmy: hey, get out of here! get out -- get out here! [ laughter and applause ] that's going on your record! >> [ bleep ] you! >> jimmy: that's going on your record! and that's going on your record! >> [ bleep ] >> jimmy: you get out of here! >> [ bleep ] >> get lost! >> bleeeh! >> jimmy: get out of here! go! go! leave! get out! [ cheers and applause ] sorry you had to see that. i don't want you guys to see
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that side of me. what a mouth on her. >> steve: she's like a a longshoreman. >> jimmy: i'm glad she left. is rose still out there? is she -- [ punch sound ] >> steve: oh! >> jimmy: hey! [ laughter ] she just attacked one of our writers. is he okay? patrick, are you -- [ clang ] [ audience ohs ] oh, my goodness! that's terrible. the anvil. >> steve: an anvil. >> jimmy: an anvil was up in the -- >> steve: someone was storing the anvil up in the ceiling and the thread must have broke -- >> jimmy: i don't know. patrick, are you okay there buddy? [ snarling ] [ laughter ] oh my goodness. oh, this is terrible! oh my gosh. stray dogs. a stray dog. >> steve: i thought that was your dog, rumplestiltskin. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's all rose's fault too. we should probably rethink hiring her back. >> steve: yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you guys, check this out. the search engine bing has a a new feature that can predict who will lose in the midterm elections. because if anyone's good at predicting failure, it's bing. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] >> steve: oh!
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hey oh! hey! badaboom badabing. [italian accent] >> jimmy: ey whats the thing -- badaboom badagoogle, you know what i'm saying? [ laughter and applause ] badaboom badagoogle, you know what i'm saying? >> steve: bing this! [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: no i don't -- they mean bing this. bing this. >> steve: bing it, look it up. >> jimmy: bing this ova here. >> steve: you son of a bitch. talking to a russian fellow. >> jimmy: oh, sonovavitch oh. [ laughter ] i'm sorry, i missed her. >> steve: i'm not rose. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: guys, i don't know if this is a good idea but i heard about a new app similar to tinder that helps people staying in the same hotel meet each other. [ cheers ] [ audience ohs ] they say it's good for single travelers and great for "dateline." [ laughter ] "turns out there was a vacancy that night -- in a shallow grave." [ laughter and applause ] the app cost $1.99 per download, while the people you meet with it cost $300 per
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hour. [ laughter ] of course, all the news about ebola has everybody on edge. but if you notice, in the news, they do a pretty good job of keeping it together. >> i am very confident we're going to get our arms around ebola. >> it's not a mystery. we know the science. >> we know how to stop ebola. >> jimmy: but then yesterday this news broke. >> the ebola outbreak could drive up the price of chocolate. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how did people react to that? >> it's going to get worse before it gets better. >> we have to act fast. >> this is going to be a long road. >> it is out of control. >> panic. >> chaos. >> catastrophe. [ screaming ] [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: chocolate! get this, a new report has found out the beasty boys mentions weed in their songs more than any other artist. yeah. then snoop dogg was like, "you got to be shizzin me."
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[ laughter ] and finally, a bar in london has been named the world's best bar for a third year in a row. if you want to know what it's like being at the world's best bar, just keep drinking in the bar you're at. "i love this place!" [ laughter and applause ] we have a great show, everybody! give it up for the roots! thank you! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's right, everybody, thank you very much! it's a great, great show tonight. we have a big week of shows coming up tomorrow night. shailene woodley will be here. [ cheers and applause ] we have a fun halloween themed game with her. plus we're doing something special with brad pitt tomorrow. >> steve: whoa! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: brad pitt. >> steve: brad pitt! >> jimmy: later this week, sting and bradley cooper will be joining us! >> steve: come on! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: sting and bradley cooper!
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>> steve: that's a show. >> jimmy: but first, we have a a fantastic show tonight. gosh, she's one of our favorites. we do love her. >> steve: she's one of my favorite people on earth honestly. >> jimmy: the stone bone. [ cheers and applause ] she's fantastic in this movie. the movie is called "birdman." it's out friday. emma stone is here! >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ stone! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: emma and i are going head-to-head in a game of box of lies. >> steve: ooh. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: plus, this guy's a a great actor, he's from the new movie "fury." logan lerman is stopping by. >> steve: come on! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tank movie with brad pitt. logan lerman. oh, it's good. we've got amazing music. this is a hot show man. i'm talking about the one and only sam smith is in the house! [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: he's the dude. >> steve: he's got a voice of an angel. >> jimmy: he's the new human. he's the one everyone's talking about. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: everyon's like oh you got to own sam smith. he's everyone's new favorite voice and he's here tonight.
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[ cheers and applause ] [ imitating sam smith ] ♪ >> steve: oh, my gosh. sounds spooky a little bit. ♪ it brought tears to my eyes. >> jimmy: it did bring tears in your eyes, are you crying? >> steve: oh, my gosh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: higgins, i can see you putting -- >> steve: what? >> jimmy: i can see you putting water on your -- [ laughter ] >> steve: beautiful. >> jimmy: guys, it's time to look at the stories making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. it's time for pros and cons. here go. ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons and pros ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight we'll be taking a look at the pros and cons of watching "the walking dead." >> steve: ooh. [ cheers ] giant hit. >> jimmy: the zombies are back, season five just kicked off to record ratings. oh, my gosh. let's take a look at the pros and cons of watching "the walking dead." here we go. pro, the show focuses on a a worldwide zombie pandemic. con, or as the cdc would call it, a handful of isolated
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cases. there you go. [ laughter ] nothing to worry about. >> steve: it's all perspective. >> jimmy: nothing to worry about. pro, zombies will stop at nothing to quench their insatiable desire for human flesh. con, it's like white people with the pumpkin spice latte. [ laughter and applause ] that's good stuff. that's good stuff man. >> steve: kids love it. >> jimmy: can't come sooner. >> steve: kids love it. >> jimmy: pro, seeing a bunk of zombies enter the compound and thinking, "how could they possibly have gotten in?" cons, realizing the secret service was guarding the gates. yeah that's -- [ laughter ] that'll happen. just climb over the fence, we're fine. come on in. want something to eat? >> steve: front door's open. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: pro, the show promises to eat the competition. con, "eat the competition" is chris christie's 2 2016 campaign slogan. [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers ] >> steve: is it really? >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: are you serious? >> jimmy: yes. >> steve: that's his -- >> jimmy: that's his campaign slogan. >> steve: oh my gosh. >> jimmy: he didn't even announce. that's not -- >> steve: that's not really his -- >> jimmy: it can't be true. [ laughter ] pro, watching zombies eat people's flesh. con, watching that one zombie ask if there's any gluten in
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it. you got to be -- [ laughter ] you've got to be careful. >> steve: the worst. that zombie's the worst. >> jimmy: you've got to be careful. [ laughter ] pro, watching unrecognizable characters awkwardly shuffling their feet as they make their way across the floor. con, realizing you're watching "dancing with the stars." [ laughter ] easy mistake. pro, a zombie is the most frightening thing you'll see at a halloween costume party. con, besides a dude in a wonder woman outfit. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: okay, they're -- all right. all right. ♪ you hear something. you hear something dude? i hear something. what is it? [ roaring ] >> steve: oh, my gosh! >> jimmy: oh, my goodness! [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: what? >> jimmy: sorry, ladies, he's taken. as of this saturday. >> steve: by king kong. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and finally, pro, it's the best way to see a a bunch of freaky creatures gorging themselves on a meal.
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con, besides going to a waffle house at 3:00 a.m. [ laughter and applause ] that's the pros and cons. we'll be right back with emma stone! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ some phones aren't water resistant. some don't have replaceable batteries. some don't have a kids mode that prevents the little fella from sending out that embarrassing photo to the whole company. the samsung galaxy s5 it takes a lot of things to be the next big thing. ♪ [phone rings] hey brian, you free for lunch? the samsung galaxy s5 the next big thing is here. introducing band-aid brand comfort sheer bandages. our most stretchable sheer bandage ever. they're 50% more stretchable, so they fit snug to protect even tough spots from dirt and germs. ♪ 'cause band-aid stretches with me! ♪ band-aid brand. perfect for stocking stuffers!
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and this turpigen is tur die for. harold: what's a turpigen? julia: it's a chicken inside of a pig inside of a turkey. it's the whole animal kingdom in one bite. party guest one: so good. party guest two: beautiful! julia: thank you, it's two months of work and i cry now more than i laugh but... party guest one: no. we are talking about their sweaters. julia: jenny: what? sorry we're late. julia: you guys look unbelievable. jenny: thank you! we got it all at old navy. right now sweaters and coats are up to 60% off. julia: 60% off? jenny: it ends soon you should hurry. julia: this holiday meal will be better as leftovers. everybody get out of my house! get out of my way! move kid. hit him with a hard count,ine. see if they'll tip their hand. the nfl trusts duracell quantum to their game day communication. they're blitzing up the gut! get out of the pocket! hut! duracell quantum. lasts up to 35% longer than the competition. break the ice, with breath freshening cooling crystals. ice breakers.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: our first guest tonight is a golden globe nominated actress who's latest film "birdman" is in theaters this friday. she's fantastic in it. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome emma stone! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh! wow! emma stone! stone bone! >> oh! fallonious. >> jimmy: you look gorgeous as always. >> well, thank you. >> jimmy: thank you for coming back and visiting our show. >> thank you for having me back to visit your show. >> jimmy: we love having you
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on. >> i was backing up here and i really thought i was going to lay down on this couch. and now i kind of want to lay down on the couch while we talk. >> jimmy: you can go for it. go, try -- give it a shot, it's pretty cool. >> it'll be like therapy. >> jimmy: get comfy there. >> but i can, can i do it where i just don't look at you, and you can ask me questions about my life? [ laughter ] >> all right. [ in german accent ] >> jimmy: how long have you been having these horrible dreams? [ laughter ] >> i don't know. a couple of weeks. >> jimmy: emma, emma stone. >> all right. i'll sit up. >> jimmy: i need to talk to you about the real stuff, here. the real, the real -- >> i don't know where that came from. >> jimmy: we have kind of an announcement. >> sorry -- sorry, gang. >> jimmy: it's not the worst thing we've done already for this show. trust me there's a lot of -- we're already -- the ratings are crazy. um, um -- i've got to say, big announcement, kind of. this is -- i don't know if you've announced it yet or what, but it was news to us. but you're coming to broadway. >> what?! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] thank you! >> jimmy: you're welcome. we make dreams come true here on "the tonight show." everyone's on broadway! everybody's on broadway!
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] you did it, we did it together. >> so far, we've done therapy and you've given me a role on broadway. >> jimmy: but this is a major thing, you're in "cabaret." >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: with alan cumming. >> yes. >> jimmy: who is amazing, do you know alan? do you know him at all? >> i know -- well, i know him a a little bit. now, i know him a little bit better. >> jimmy: he's the coolest guy ever. >> he's so great. and i, so i start on november 11th. but, my first official rehearsal was today. >> jimmy: no! well, thank you for coming over here. >> thank you for having me. >> jimmy: i know it must have been a busy day. how was it? exciting? is it crazy? >> so exciting. it was nuts. >> jimmy: do you know the play well? do you know the -- >> i know it, i know it pretty well. i saw it in new york for the first time with alan as the emcee when i was 9 years old. >> jimmy: i was going to say, you must have been a baby. >> the most inappropriate show to take a nine-year-old to. do not bring your kid. >> jimmy: yeah, i was gonna say. it was like "wicked," "cabaret." >> cannot bring a child. >> jimmy: yeah, and you loved it then? >> um, i loved it.
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i absolutely, i fell in love with it. and then ever since then i kind of wanted -- >> jimmy: the songs are unbelievable. >> it's incredible and i don't really know why, at nine, i wanted to play that part. because it's you know, it's a a strange part for a a nine-year-old to want to play. >> jimmy: it's officially probably the strangest part a a nine-year-old would want to play. >> but that was me, jimmy. should i lay back down? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, yeah, go for it. yeah, that's good. whenever you feel like it, just go for it. >> that's perfect. okay. no, and then we can talk about right, that at nine. okay. >> jimmy: absolutely. i mean, we can talk about that, or we can talk about this picture i found of you. acting. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it almost looks like you're doing cabaret there. >> yeah. >> jimmy: look at this, how old are you here? >> i'm 13. >> jimmy: oh my gosh. >> everybody knows that. >> jimmy: and this is you playing rose the camera woman. from uh -- [ cheers and applause ] you're fired. >> i saw her. >> jimmy: i'm sorry -- she was, yeah. >> she's was really sappy. >> jimmy: she was very rude. yeah. >> she was, you know, she was a a broad. >> jimmy: was that your first play? no. what was your first --. >> that was --this was my first play, this one. the chest hair one. which i was playing an otter in this.
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so you would think that i would have full body hair. but just, this is how we -- >> jimmy: that was an otter? >> this is an otter in "wind in the willows." >> jimmy: wow, you've really got to use your imagination there. >> i'm just really surprized. i have an open mouth in both of these, so. >> jimmy: yeah, that's your move. >> that's my move. >> jimmy: that was your move back then. >> it was my signature move. >> jimmy: exactly, yeah, but that was your -- you were an otter. what was the play? >> "wind in the willows." >> jimmy: oh you were -- and that was your very first play. >> yup. very first play. >> jimmy: was it a musical? >> no, that was a straight play. >> jimmy: and then, what was your first musical? >> uh, oh, my first musical was when i was seven years old. and i was in first grade. and it was called "no turkey for perky." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: of course. i mean --. >> -- you know the plot. >> jimmy: everybody knows "no turkey for perky." >> everyone knows "no turkey for perky." >> jimmy: the famous, the famous groove. >> we could! let's do it. let's take it to broadway. >> jimmy: we did it, yeah. what is "no turkey for perky?" >> is that a song from "no turkey for perky?" >> jimmy: is it really? ♪ ♪ ♪ no turkey for perky ♪ ♪ no turkey for perky ♪ >> jimmy: do you remember that
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at all? we did some research, yeah. >> that is extensive research. >> jimmy: yeah. they actually harmonized "no turkey for perky." the roots, from philadelphia you guys, right there. talented band. [ cheers and applause ] no tur -- what was the, what was the -- what was the plot for "no turkey for perky?" >> well, it was a thanksgiving play, as you might guess. >> jimmy: okay. and perky was a -- >> and it was all fifth graders. and there was, there was a part for a first grader. i think my first grader -- or my first grade teacher put me in the play, because -- well, you know. i've just always been this way. >> jimmy: you're like -- i'm a a star! >> ahh, get her out of the classroom. so it got took me out of the classroom pretty frequently, which was great for everybody. >> jimmy: did you play perky? >> i do not play perky, i played suzy bell hanks. of course. >> jimmy: of course, who's the younger sister of annabell hanks. >> jimmy: the hanks. >> both: and their dog. is perky. >> jimmy: no turkey. >> both: "no turkey for perky." yeah, yeah that's a great -- a classic. ♪ >> and he can't have any turkey -- >> jimmy: just bring it back to
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broadway. >> i know. i was thinking, we should all, we should all do it together. >> jimmy: yes! we could do it. the audience. [ cheers and applause ] everyone gets perky on the way out. look at how far you've come. >> oh, man. >> jimmy: but this movie "birdman", it comes out friday. it's fantastic. everyone's great in this film. naomi watts is fantastic in it. edward norton is unbelievable. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you have great scenes with edward norton. here's why it would freak me out though --. because, if you watch this movie a lot of the shots are like these long tracking shots where they start in one room. and then they go into a a hallway. and then into another room. and then, it's long. so, you're seeing michael keaton act in one scene and then going over to zach galifianakis acting. and then, eventually.they just come to you. and you have like, two, two lines. and i would be so nervous, i would be like -- oh, it's almost my part, okay they're coming around. -- sorry, i screwed up. and then they would have to reset the whole scene and everyone hates me. >> that is exactly --. >> jimmy: edward norton won't talk to me. >> exactly how it went. edward norton still won't talk to me. [ laughter ] but i'm thinking about giving him a part in "no turkey for
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perky." >> jimmy: see, that's what i'm talking about. yeah, yeah, could be a good one. >> he could be good as perky. >> jimmy: he would be very, very good. i mean. was it like that? i mean, it looks like the whole movie is basically a long tracking shot. >> and those were -- those were the scariest ones, when there was a sce -- there was actually a scene between michael and -- michael keaton and edward norton. and, it was like a five or six-minute scene that was just incredible. both, i mean, it was just -- it was a huge scene. and then i come in at the end of the scene, and just kind of have to lead edward around the corner. and if i went too fast, the entire thing was -- like, if i moved too fast around a corner, the whole take was ruined. which happened. >> jimmy: no, it did not. >> i was going too fast. then it was like, back to the beginning. they were like, thanks a lot. >> jimmy: thanks a lot, missy. >> both: really appreciated it. so much. >> jimmy: so much. exactly. how do you know? [ applause ] >> jimmy: i was there. i was the guy holding the microphone. look familiar? >> that was you! >> jimmy: yeah, that was me. but the movie's about michael keaton, who plays this
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character birdman. birdman one, birdman two, birdman three. he was in three sequels to the movie birdman. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and then he didn't do the fourth birdman. >> right. >> jimmy: and then his career just kind of falters off and he kind of feels like he's forgotten almost, a forgotten actor. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and so he goes back to broadway and writes and directs and acts in this play. trying to show people that he's relevant. that he meant something. and it's so moving. it's a killer performances by everybody. we have a scene here. this is -- i mean, he's just -- he came back from a bar. he's drunk. and he's, he's just riding you pretty hard. you're his daughter. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and you go, and you just have to yell back at him. and here's the clip, here's emma stone in "birdman." >> you were doing the play based on a book that was written 60 years-ago for a a thousand rich old white people. who's only real concern is going to be where they go to have their cake and coffee when it's over. nobody gives a -- but you! and let's face it, dad. you are not doing this for the sake of art. you are doing this because you want to feel relevant again.
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well, guess what, there is an entire world out there where people fight to be relevant every single day. and you act like it doesn't exist. things are happening in a place that you ignore. a place that, by the way, has already forgotten about you. i mean -- who the -- are you? you hate bloggers, you mock twitter, you don't even have a a facebook page. you're the one who doesn't exist. you're doing this because you're scared to death, like the rest of us, that you don't matter. and you know what? you're right. you don't. it's not important, okay? you're not important. get used to it. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: that's what i was talking about right there. that's the real deal. man. that's unbelievable to see that. what a performance. >> we should sing the "no turkey for perky" song. >> jimmy: no, no. i'm in the zone right now. i'm like, wow. and what you didn't see, they didn't show that part of the clip. but after you do that, they cut
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to you and michael keaton or they widen out. they don't cut really, in this movie and then they show your face. and you just, you feel bad for saying that. you just hurt your dad's feelings. and ah, it's so good. you're such a good actor, man. it's great. >> thank you. >> jimmy: but this is why i wanted to challenge you to a a game. because you're a good actor. but i think maybe in here. in here. and in here. >> oh, mine doesn't make. i think i'm a good actor, too. i'm going to show you my skills in a game of box of lies, when we come back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back! i'm here with our pal, emma stone! [ cheers and applause ] "birdman" this friday. you gotta check her out in that movie. she's great. we're about to "play box of lies." [ cheers ] and here's how it works. upstage are a bunch of boxes containing objects never of us have seen before. taking turns, emma and i are gonna select a box, open it on our side of the table out of view of the other person. [ goofy voice ] once the object is out of the box -- [ laughter ] you look at your opponent and you tell them what's in the box. you might be lying, you might be telling the truth. your opponent has guess which one -- [ laughter ] say if it's lie or truth. you guess the correctly, you get the point. you guess wrong, the other person gets the point. first two points wins. thank you very much. [ laughter and applause ] now!
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all right. emma stone, you're up first. >> i just -- >> jimmy: pick a box. >> oh, okay. >> jimmy: and then you have to either tell me what's in it, or you can lie, and i have to guess if it's the lie or the truth. >> see, this is -- you know, i -- i love to lip sync, but i am a terrible liar. so this is a bad game for me. [ laughter ] all right. what number? what number? [ audience reacts ] i'm just gonna pick one. four? i'm gonna go with four. oh, it's heavy. >> jimmy: oh, that's a hint! [ laughter ] >> really gonna be bad at this game. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. yeah. and just put it off to the side. i won't look. no one's looking. only the audience can see. [ laughter ] [ clears throat ]
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[ cough ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what is it -- >> okay. >> jimmy: -- my dear emma? >> all right. you know, okay. you know how in a deck of cards, there are like three or four instruction cards that you always have to throw out before you play a game? >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> it's -- it's like a a sculpture stack of those cards -- >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> --in the shape, i guess it could only be like a a salamander. [ light laughter ] or like a gecko, i guess. it would be a gecko. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: either you're helping her with this lie -- [ laughter ] that's how charming you are. >> no! it's like a -- it's like a -- >> jimmy: with those blue eyes charming everyone. >> they're green.
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[ audience oohs ] [ scattered clapping ] >> jimmy: that was a bust! that was a bust! >> what? >> jimmy: 'cause now i know. >> what? you lie! >> i did lie. >> jimmy: yeah! ♪ i don't know why i guessed that. what was it? what was it? >> it's a -- it's a dvd frozen in an ice cube. [ laughter ] it's a frozen "frozen." >> jimmy: hey, you thought of that? that was really good. all right, which one? [ audience reacts ] all right, five it is. [ cheers ] oh, it's really heavy. oh, my good -- my back. [ light laughter ] >> i can tell that was a faux remark. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! very nice. [ laughter ] it's a plate -- with a -- [ laughter ] with a tiny squirrel surfing, not on a wave, he's surfing on a piece of lettuce. [ laughter ] >> can i ask a question? >> jimmy: no.
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[ laughter ] >> you're telling the truth. >> jimmy: no! >> oh! >> jimmy: i'm lying! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> you're such a good liar! >> jimmy: liar, liar, liar! i won, i won, i won! i won, i won, i won! i won, i won, i won! i won, i won, i won! i'm the winner! i'm the champion! i won! [ cheers and applause ] emma stone. emma stone. >> you deserved it. >> jimmy: you guys, "birdman" is in theaters on friday. come on, you're the best. [ cheers and applause ] logan lerman joins us next. i'm a gracious winner. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] this is so great, date night. just the three of us. i'm just sayin'. and this is such a good movie too. i mean at the end when it's revealed the grandmother... shhhh.. i mean at the end when it's revealed the grandmother...
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...did it. are you... would you be quiet? would you be quiet and move your gigantic head? it's like hello? i can't see the screen. dude. it's like hello? i can't see the screen. ah! hey, was that jordan? whoa! that's cold. now all hanes underwear is tagless. go tagless. ♪ ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a talented actor who stars opposite brad pitt in the new film "fury", which is in theaters everywhere on friday. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome logan lerman! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> wow! >> jimmy: logan lerman, ladies and gentlemen. thank you! >> thank you for having me. this is -- this is awesome to be here. >> jimmy: this is your first "tonight show." >> this is my first "tonight show," yeah. >> jimmy: but you were on -- you were on "late night." you were on "late night" with us. >> i was on "late night" but, i mean, this is a big deal. this is awesome. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: well, "late night" was no small thing. [ laughter ] >> no, "late night" -- no. "late night" is a big deal -- >> jimmy: thank you. >> -- but this is even a bigger deal. >> jimmy: yeah! thank you. i will take that. >> this is great. >> jimmy: absolutely, yeah. >> congratulations, man. it's good to see you again. >> jimmy: aww, congratulations to you. i gotta be honest. it's good to see people, you know, new actors come on the show, and you go -- you know, we wish them all the best. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i'm not getting choked up, there's just
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something in my -- >> yeah. this is a really emotional moment. >> jimmy: no, i wasn't getting emotional. i just swallowed the wrong way. but -- >> all right. yeah. >> jimmy: i do care about you. and you watch young actors come in and you just hope for the best. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and sometimes they stick around, someti out and do other things and you're j man. >> thank you so much. >> jim stuff, and we're so proud of you. i'm so h >> thank you very thank you. i have to say, though. i am a little jealou know, emma got to play you know, that -- that line game was great. you're a goo [ talking over each other ] >> jimmy: you just turned into a southern man from dead"? >> yeah. [ laughter ] [ talking over each other ] >> jimmy: are you a good liar? >> i'm a great liar. >> jimmy: you are? >> yeah. >> jimmy: really? >> i'm a fantastic liar. >> jimmy: did you lie growing up in school? >> yeah. yeah, i lied my way through high school. like everybody else, you know? [ talking over each other ] >> jimmy: what was your biggest lie? do you remember a really good -- a good lie? >> my biggest lie, you know. i guess a lot of them aren't, you know, appropriate for television right now. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. no. yeah. >> but one of them, one of them, you know, a good one was when i was, you know, maybe a
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a sophomore in high school, i had a book report -- >> jimmy: two years ago. >> yeah. it was about -- [ laughter ] about a year and a half. but who's counting, right? i had a book report, and, you know, i didn't do it. and it was the morning of the book report. i was like, "oh, god! what am i gonna do? i'm going to fail this class. it's going to be horrible for my life." >> jimmy: yeah. >> "i'll never amount to anything." and so -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah! i've had that feeling. >> yeah. yeah, you know, everything's, you know, a big deal back then. and -- i remember in the morning, i just, like, went to my piano and, like, set up my garage band. and i recorded a little song and went to school and gave them -- and gave my teacher this song that said, "this is book." the whole book, no, for real. the whole book is in this song. [ laughter ] and that the tone -- the tone of the book, everything that happens is mapped out in this song. so please, listen to it. and, yeah, you know, grade it kindly. [ talking over each other ] >> jimmy: awful idea. >> it was all right. >> jimmy: and then, what did the teacher do? >> i mean, i aced it, obviously. >> jimmy: wait! what? really?
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[ cheers ] the teacher liked it? >> yeah. i'm a good liar. that's what i do for a living now. i lie for a living. >> jimmy: it's called acting, though, yeah. and -- boy, oh boy, are you great at acting. the movie "fury" -- i mean, you can't say it about yourself but you're fantastic in it. great cast. >> thank you. >> jimmy: brad pitt, shia -- shia lebeouf. >> sh -- lebeouf. >> jimmy: shia lebeouf. >> lebuff. >> jimmy: lebuff. >> eh, lebeouf. >> jimmy: michael peña. >> michael peña. jon bernthal. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh! >> fantastic cast. >> jimmy: it was -- it's a war movie. it's a tank movie. >> tanks, yeah. >> jimmy: it's just -- it's emotional. [ laughter ] i'm just repeating every word. >> everything that you say, i'll repeat it. >> jimmy: please stop doing that. >> all right. >> jimmy: i don't want you to do it anymore. >> all right. >> jimmy: a good film. >> it's a good film. >> jimmy: yes, it is. [ laughter ] but it looks like it's a lot of work. was it a crazy amount of work? was it stressful? >> it was an incredibly stressful movie. >> jimmy: did you feel like you almost were, almost like did you go to boot camp or anything?
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>> we went to boot camp. we did a lot of work for this. >> jimmy: i could tell. >> we about had a good four to five months before filming where we just prepped and did a a lot of crazy stuff. but boot camp was by far the hardest thing that we had to do. >> jimmy: i mean, imagine being in -- the army, or any of the -- serving our country, but at that age. >> yeah. >> jimmy: all the kids that were 16-year-olds in that war. >> yeah. i mean, it was hard for me. but -- i mean, just to do a a movie version of this. it's incredibly humbling to think about what they, you know -- >> jimmy: in real life. >> yeah. you did boot camp too, man. >> jimmy: i did. i was in "band of brothers." >> yeah, i saw "band of brothers." i studied that for this. >> jimmy: you did? >> yeah! i saw you -- i saw you come up. >> jimmy: yeah. and what did you think? >> i was -- i was like, "that's jimmy fallon." >> jimmy: no, no, no, no! [ laughter ] you're supposed to say "that was lieutenant ryan." is what you should have said. [ laughter ] >> i know that guy. >> jimmy: this guy's ruining the thing for me. >> that's him! >> jimmy: no, but you get to see the hard work that went into this. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. it's kind of intense.
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>> yeah. but, you know, boot camp was -- kind of the transformative experience, at the end of all of our training, and it really -- yeah, it brought us together, made us a family. just some crazy -- >> jimmy: you gotta get to know each other. you're in a tank together. >> yeah. >> jimmy: tight quarters. >> and in that period of time, we all slept in tents. i mean, a tent, together. cots next to each other. it was, you know, me, and like -- >> jimmy: what? [ laughter ] >> yeah. we slept in cots next to each other. >> jimmy: cots! >> cots. >> jimmy: thank you. absolutely, yeah. [ laughter ] >> wait, what did you think i said? >> jimmy: no, no, no. cots next to each other. >> what did you think i said? >> jimmy: nothing. that's what i thought you said. cots. >> okay. >> jimmy: c-o-t. cots. [ laughter ] [ talking over each other ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> we slept in cots together. [ talking over each other ] >> it was just end of our cots. >> jimmy: yeah, absolutely. yeah, yeah, yeah. as long as you got a good night's sleep, that's all that mattered. >> yeah. no, no. we didn't sleep at all, though.
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, here's the thing. no, no. in the film, though, you play a a newbie. >> yes. >> jimmy: you're the new guy. >> i'm the new dude, yeah. >> jimmy: and it's like, there's hazing involved and then they go -- gosh, you learn to grow up quick when you're fighting in a a war. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. it was -- it was intense, to say the least. >> jimmy: we have a clip here. >> oh, you have a clip? >> jimmy: here's logan lerman in "fury." take a look at this. >> here's a clip. >> why are you here? you're here to kill him. do you know why he's here? he's here to kill you. [ speaking in foreign language ] he's here to kill you, norm. he's here to rip your throat -- >> go to hell. [ grunting ] >> trying to teach you something. are you here to get me killed? >> no. >> you going to get me killed? >> no. >> i need you to perform. just get it over with. just get it over with. >> i can't do it. >> yes, you can. i know you can. he kills you or you kill him.
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simple math. you or him. pick! >> just kill me. kill me. kill me! kill me! kill me! please! i can't do it! >> jimmy: ooh! [ cheers and applause ] logan lerman. "fury" is in theaters on friday. sam smith performs next. come on back, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] julia: i harvested the cranberries from a cranberry bog in quebec. and this turpigen is tur die for. harold: what's a turpigen? julia: it's a chicken inside of a pig inside of a turkey. it's the whole animal kingdom in one bite. party guest one: so good. party guest two: beautiful! julia: thank you, it's two months of work and i cry now more than i laugh but... party guest one: no. we are talking about their sweaters. julia: jenny: what? sorry we're late. julia: you guys look unbelievable. jenny: thank you! we got it all at old navy. right now sweaters and coats are up to 60% off. julia: 60% off? jenny: it ends soon you should hurry. julia: this holiday meal will be better as leftovers. everybody get out of my house! get out of my way! move kid.
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i'm going to buy some minion candy too. don't forget an eclipse prism. why would i want an eclipse prism in a situation like this? stop playing like a noob, glaive. oh... really koshka? like the time you took on adagio with nothing but some journey boots and a scout trap? i knew you were going to bring that up! ♪ transferred money from hisy bank of america savings account to his merrill edge retirement account. before he opened his first hot chocolate stand calling winter an "underserved season". and before he quit his friend's leaf-raking business for "not offering a 401k." larry knew the importance of preparing for retirement. that's why when the time came he counted on merrill edge to streamline his investing and help him plan for the road ahead. that's the power of streamlined connections. that's merrill edge and bank of america.
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waiter: yep. new gingerbread french toast and pumpkin pancakes. but they're only around for a limited time. girl: can i still get it if i'm on the naughty list? waiter, chuckling: i think you'll be fine. [bell rings] waitress: welcome to denny's!
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest, oh, he's fantastic. he made his american tv debut on our "late night" show back in january. and since then, he's become one of the most celebrated new artists in music. it's just a great record, pick it up. here to perform his new single "i'm not the only one" from his album "in the lonely hour." please welcome sam smith. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you and me we made a vow for better or for worse i can't believe you let me down ♪ ♪ but the proof is in the way it hurts
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for months on end i've had my doubts ♪ ♪ denying every tear i wish this would be over now but i know that i still need you here ♪ ♪ you say i'm crazy cause you don't think i know what you've done but when you call me baby ♪ ♪ i know i'm not the only one you've been so unavailable now sadly i know why ♪ ♪ your heart is unobtainable even though lord knows
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you don't share mine you say i'm crazy ♪ ♪ 'cause you don't think i know what you've done but when you call me baby i know i'm not ♪ ♪ the only one i have loved you for many years maybe i am just not enough ♪ ♪ you've made me realize my deepest fear by lying and tearing us up you say i'm crazy ♪ ♪ cause you don't think i know what you've done
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but when you call me baby i know i'm not ♪ ♪ the only one you say i'm crazy cause you don't think i know what you've done ♪ ♪ but when you call me baby i know i'm not the only one ♪ ♪ i know i'm not the only one i know i'm not the only one ♪ ♪ and i know and i know and i know and i know and i know and i know ♪
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♪ and i know i'm not the only one ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, man! awesome, man! thank you. sam smith! "in the lonely hour" is in stores now! we'll be right back. fantastic! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i love this new sirachi burger.
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it's siracha. sluracha? no. si-rah-chah. siriracha. no. watch how i say it. si-rah-cha. that's not helping. bam! that's jack's new spicy sriracha burger comin' in all hot and melty with jalapeños and bacon! but the best part? it's not just sriracha sauce, it's creamy sri-rah... slur-rah cha... whatever it's called, it's awesome sauce.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to emma stone, logan lerman, sam smith once again! [ cheers and applause ] good lord, that was great. and the roots right there from philadelphia, everybody! they are very good. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪


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