tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC August 8, 2015 12:37am-1:38am PDT
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- adam sandler comedienne margaret cho, music from modest mouse. featuring the 8g band with david lovering. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] and now, here he is, seth meyers! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight?
[ cheers and applause ] good. that is good to hear. you know what? guys, it's a good time to be paying attention to politics. because sometimes politics can be a little bit dry and it can be a little bit boring. and it's like, "oh, there's a new deal with iran." you're like, "oh, that's boring. i don't want to know." but then, someone like donald trump runs for president -- [ laughter ] -- and then it's super, super fun. it's so much fun for everybody except everybody else who is running for president. because you can tell they're like, "this is very serious." and he's like, "no, it's not. i'm not serious. and i'm winning!" and they're like -- [ groaning ] [ applause ] it's true. it's true. these poor people are like, "i was a senator!" and we're all like, "we hate senators! we like the funny guys." [ laughter ] it keeps getting better. at a campaign event today, donald trump read -- he read senator lindsey graham's cell phone number aloud on live on tv. [ laughter ]
it's the craziest thing trump has done since whatever he did right before that. [ applause ] and again, that's -- there's no reason to think this is the ceiling, the phone number live on tv. like a thing an ex would do just like to -- after a bad breakup. he did that today. and like, a week from now we'll look back at that as a more genteel time in politics. "i remember the politics where you just read one another's phone numbers on television." republican hopeful rick perry this week compared donald trump to cancer, which really isn't fair, because sometimes you can get rid of cancer. [ laughter ] [ applause ] there are ways to treat it. the white house is making a special twitter account named @theirandeal to help answer questions about the new nuclear agreement.
finally using twitter for what it was designed for. explaining complex international nuclear agreements involving several nations. whoo! "i'm going to retweet this for my pals in case they're not following @theirandeal." "what'd the silly guy do? he read a phone number! yay!" new campaign documents show bernie sanders has spent zero dollars -- this is fascinating -- he spent zero dollars on polling. so about the same amount he spends on hair products. [ laughter ] [ applause ] you can't see, he's got his hands on one of those sharper image balls. [ laughter ] i got to get one of those. i have to get one of those. people walk into my apartment and they're like, "this is a man who likes fancy things." [ laughter ] a new app has launched in new york -- this is very helpful for new yorkers here.
a new app has launched in new york to help residents locate ice cream trucks around the city. it's called the sex offender registry. [ laughter ] [ audience oohs ] it'll be tough for old seth meyers to get ice cream now. [ laughter ] i send my assistant, though. i don't get my own ice cream. [ laughter ] this is great. a mcdonald's manager admitted this week that his store has a secret menu that includes the monster mac, which is a big mac with eight hamburger patties. it's expensive. obviously, you know, eight hamburger patties is expensive, but they accept all the major cards. blue cross/blue shield, they accept that. [ laughter ] aetna, anthem, all of them. aflac. i think that's how you say it. this is -- in crime news, i
found this fascinating. a former iowa lottery official was found guilty yesterday of rigging a computerized top lotto game so he could win a $14 million jackpot. he now faces up to five, 12, 14, 20 -- [ laughter ] [ applause ] -- or 25 years in prison. 25 years in prison. that's what i want for my apartment. one of those lotto balls machines. i feel that way, people come in, and they go, "this guy likes fancy things." [ laughter ] and finally, you guys, finally, a new study found -- and this is a study, so you might think this is base humor. this is a study. scientists did a study. this is serious. it's going to sound like -- because pretty quickly, i'm gonna say the word "penises", but guess what? this is a study that scientists, people with degrees did.
don't judge me. [ laughter ] a new study found that women prefer penises to meet certain beauty standards. according to this new study. which is only fair, since penises prefer women to meet certain beauty standards. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, this is the 8g band! ♪ >> seth: whoo! welcome to "late night." how we doing, 8g? you guys good over there? very excited, back with us tonight on drums. you know him from the pixies, one of the great bands of all time, david lovering is with us. welcome back, david. [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much for being here. we talked a lot about middle fingers yesterday on the show. and how, when you give a middle finger on network television,
they have to blur it because people can't handle it. so you're seeing this right now. [ laughter ] but at home, they're missing this sweet, sweet action. and then i was told by my writing staff that my fingers look weird, which hurt my feelings. but i do want to show -- 'cause i do have one weird finger. can we go to -- this is my weird one. see? look. i should have planned this out. [ light laughter ] wait. i just put this against a backdrop. this is really good. i'm glad we blocked this. [ laughter ] i feel like that didn't really register as a weird finger. can i have this camera? i have a really weird finger, you guys. [ laughter ] that one. see, that one. see that weird knuckle. [ applause ] i go through life with that. [ laughter ]
you guys, we have a really exciting show for you tonight. from the new film "pixels," adam sandler is here! [ cheers and applause ] i grew up -- i grew up in a small town in new hampshire adjacent to the town that adam sandler grew up in. and for us growing up, it was the biggest deal in the world that someone from our part of new hampshire was on "saturday night live." and it made me think, "well, i'll never be on 'saturday night live' because they're never gonna have two people from this small part of new hampshire." and then sarah silverman, who is also from my hometown, got on "saturday night live" and i was like, "well, now i'm totally [ bleep ]." [ laughter ] there's now two of them. but i -- adam's been one of my heroes for a really long time. i'm really, really excited that he's here tonight. i can't wait for that. also, comedian margaret cho is with us this evening. [ cheers and applause ] the last few years, i've been
lucky enough to be one of the writers on "the golden globes" with amy and tina, and last year, margaret came and performed on the golden globes with those women, and i have been a fan of hers for so long. and it's so exciting when you actually get a chance to see someone that you have been a fan of for a long time work and see how they work. i was just so impressed, and i'm so excited to have her here tonight. so i -- and also, one of my favorite bands, you guys, modest mouse is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] you are here on a fantastic night. now on to some very, very serious business. these days, slang terms are evolving so fast that sometimes it's hard to keep up. so we here at "late night" decided to give you a little primer in a segment we're calling "seth explains teen slang." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: our first slang term is "yaaas." many of you have probably heard the term "yaaas" at a concert or a party.
so what does it mean? well, it's actually a word used to express excitement. for example, it's friday night and i just found some weed in my pocket. yaaas. [ laughter ] now, "yaaas" is a term you've probably heard before, but there are some up-and-coming terms that are just hitting the market. we want to educate you on them, so you can be the cool person that percolates this among your group of friends. so, for example, here is a new one -- chapo. this is a word that means "to escape a bad situation." [ laughter ] let's see it real quick in a sentence. "some randos just showed up at this party so we should totally chapo." [ laughter ] very helpful. [ applause ] let's see what's next. it's "retwit." now, you're probably familiar with a retweet, which is when you repost someone else's tweet. well, retwit is a verb meaning "to do something stupid that someone else just did." [ laughter ] for example, "andrew just walked into a glass door, and then five minutes later ryan totally
retwitted him." [ applause ] moving on. a new term, personal favorite of mine, is "arm kale." let's see what it means. it's the opposite of arm candy, an unattractive date who's ultimately good for you. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] for example, "did you see tasha's arm kale? he's a cpa who's not addicted to cocaine. i'm happy for her." [ applause ] moving on. our next term, "transmillionaire." let's see the definition. it's someone with no money who identifies as someone who has lots of money. [ laughter ] as in, "sarah got fired as a barista, but then bought a $600 coat. #transmillionaire." all right. let's see what's next. it's greecey. let's see what it means. when you say you're going to pay someone back, but then you just don't. [ audience ohs ]
for example, "toby, can you venmo me money for that cab ride?" "naw, dog." "tsk, man, you greecey." "tsk," of course, being very old slang. [ laughter ] it's like grandma slang. we like to bring the old and new together. up next is emojihad. [ laughter ] so, an emojihad is fighting with your friend via text using only emojis. [ laughter ] and it's like, when it escalates. actually, i got into an emojihad with my friend dan last night. he texted me angry face, angry face, punch, punch, punch. [ laughter ] so naturally i texted back with a classic eff you, then he responded with "you are poop." very classy. so i wrote back to him with "you're an asshat." [ laughter ] to which he responded with my face, a gun, and an ambulance. and that's how quickly things can get out of hand in an emojihad. [ laughter ] [ applause ] tsk. tsk. let's see our final slang term.
it's "strum-ass." let's see the definition. a strum ass is the guy who always gets out an acoustic guitar at parties. [ laughter ] for example, "that strum-ass paul just showed up and setting up in the kitchen, let's chapo." [ laughter ] that was "seth explains teen slang." we will be right back, you guys! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] with adam sandler! ♪ that's amazing. it's amazing. this is amazing. thats amazing! real people are discovering surprising things at chevy. we're sold. it's so pretty. they're good-looking cars. it feels great. perfect. this is not what i would expect from a chevy at all. get more than you expect for less than you imagined at the chevy 72 hour sale. now, get zero percent financing for seventy-two months on most 2015 chevy vehicles. hurry, the clock is ticking. get yours now. find new roads at your local chevy dealer.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. our first guest tonight is a very funny comedian and actor whose films earned an astonishing $3 billion at the box office. beginning this friday, you can see his latest movie "pixels" in theaters and imax 3-d. let's take a look. >> enjoy it. >> hey! come here! >> who are you, mister?
>> son, i'm just a loser who's good at old video games. >> thank god for that. [ laughter ] >> seth: please welcome, the one and only. adam sandler, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> hey, buddy. >> seth: thank you for being here. >> hi, everybody. thank you so much. that's great. you're great. you're doing great, buddy. >> seth: thank you so much. >> i'm so happy, when i saw you -- when i first -- i know we hung out at happy madison before. but i saw you at a party -- "saturday night live" party. and so i was excited that we were both from new hampshire and stuff. you said that to me. you go, man, you had to be first from new hampshire. >> seth: but it was so crazy growing up, because if you were into comedy at all, people would always tell you "oh, you've got to meet -- my butcher knows
adam sandler's neighbor." >> right, right, right. >> seth: and it was like, knowing you in new hampshire -- it was like knowing batman. [ light laughter ] like i knew him before he was batman. yeah. when he was just a regular kid. >> did your mother do the same thing where -- anybody's who in the house? my mother puts on the phone with me. every time i'm on the phone with my mother, she's like, hang on, the dishwasher guy wants to say hello. [ laughter ] >> seth: i get the sense, i'll go home and i, like, realize some of my neighbors watch the show more than my parents. and there'll be that awkward moment where they're over and they're like we saw that thing you did and i can see my parents eyes, oh, i didn't -- i missed that one. rival high schools though. i think it's very important we get it out there where, you know, this is a big deal for, you know -- people here in this audience don't understand a big deal for a west and central person to be sitting down and breaking bread like this. >> we had to. we had to get it out. you guys were always great. i used to play basketball at your gym sometimes. i mean, i would do the warm up drills. [ laughter ] >> seth: there you go. >> but you guys -- west was always cool. >> seth: yeah, it's an okay
place to go to school. >> you always had cute girls at west, i remember. >> seth: we did okay with the ladies. [ laughter ] i didn't, but we as a school -- as a school, we did okay. >> yeah. >> seth: i remember, yeah, we met at happy madison. i was doing -- when i first got on the show, we met there. then another thing i remember, you probably don't remember this. you came back, you did "the hanukkah song" some time in the early 2000s. but i remember going to bathroom before the show and being really nervous. and the bathrooms at "snl", you don't have your own dressing room bathroom. but we just went to the one by hair and makeup. down that hallway and you were in one stall and i was in the other. and all of a sudden you were like, "hey, who's in there?" [ laughter ] and i was like, "oh, it's seth." and you're like, "oh, how you doing? you nervous? you nervous?" i was thinking this -- now this is the dream right here. to have a stall conversation with adam sandler. >> i wasn't going. i just -- that was the place i liked to sit and think. [ laughter ] >> seth: i could hear script pages turning. >> yeah, exactly. exactly. >> seth: and then -- because i also remember you -- i remember seeing you on letterman. the first time you were on letterman standup -- doing standup.
>> that was gigantic in my life. >> seth: were you already on "snl"? >> yes, yes, yes. i was a writer on "snl", and i was doing standup around the city and like the guys over there heard i was pretty good and blah, blah, blah. i worked hard to get, like, six good minutes and get on the show. and schneider -- schneider was the first of us to get on letterman. >> seth: got it. >> but he was like the king. like, we all worshipped letterman. and then i got on that show and, yeah, all i thought about was all my new hampshire friends. letterman and growing up in new hampshire, it was like he was the guy. >> seth: yeah. >> he changed our whole life. >> seth: that was the thing. i remember watching that on a black and white tv i had. >> really? >> seth: and being like "aww, man. this is incredible." it was a black and white tv. they had color tv's at the time, but i couldn't have one of those in my room. >> now, did you grow up with channel 27 and channel 38? >> seth: yeah. i remember i'd come home -- the great thing about channel 38 is they just showed "cheers" all the time. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> seth: like, when you grew up in new hampshire, it was just like all "cheers." >> exactly. >> seth: you were just back. you went and did a nascar race. you were the grand marshal of a
nascar race. >> yes. of course i was. >> seth: you did not compete. >> not the grand wizard, but the grand marshal. [ laughter ] yeah, sure, i didn't compete. but yeah, i had a good time. i brought -- my entire family came. they know nothing about nascar. that was like something that my father and my brother and i used to watch. my mother would -- she'd go to marshall's or something. >> seth: gotcha. [ light laughter ] >> but i brought mom there. and my mother and my mother-in-law and my two kids and my wife. we were in the pace car cooking around. >> seth: got it. >> waving. you know it was funny. i was waving. there's 85,000 new hampshire people there. and i'm waving away, and they're all waving back and my youngest daughter goes, "they're all waving at you, daddy!" [ laughter ] relax. we're in a pace car at six. >> seth: she was upset -- >> no one's waving at me! [ laughter ] >> seth: she's mad? she has no new hampshire roots. why would they wave at her? >> yes, exactly. that's what i screamed at her. you're not from here! [ laughter ] relax, buddy! [ applause ]
right on. >> seth: you know, as we saw in the clip, this is about these classic video games from the '80s. >> right. >> seth: and the arcade i remember from new hampshire is up in hampton beach. >> right. >> funland, right? is that what it's called? playland. >> playland. right next to mcdonalds. >> seth: yeah. and it's like a real good -- >> it was the best. >> yes. that was the choice, though, when you went to the beach -- hampton beach, and your mother gave you a buck, do i get the hamburger at mcdonald's, or four games of galactic? >> seth: yeah. have you been up to hampton beach recently? >> yeah, my brother has a house around there. so, yeah i go up and down. not quite like i used to as a kid. when i was a kid, hampton -- do you remember how hard it was to get parking? >> seth: it was impossible. like i would get -- i just recently did a show at a hampton beach casino a few years ago. >> you did? >> seth: and i got -- they were going to have a spot for me because i was doing a show. >> right, right. >> seth: but i like started sweating half an hour out just thinking about my family, my dad angrily looking for parking. like, i have ptsd from that. [ laughter ]
>> yeah, that was a tough thing. and yeah, getting the parking there, and there was some tough kids -- tough kids at that playland. >> seth: yeah. >> they put their quarter up, you were like, "you got it, buddy." >> seth: yeah, you were done. >> you're next. you're next. >> seth: and i never -- i knew that was sort of like the procedure you do. i never would have the nerve to do that. >> no. >> seth: to call next on a video game. >> no, no, no, me neither. i'm like, can i -- no? okay, gotcha. [ laughter ] and the pizza hut in hooksett, did you used to go there ever? >> seth: yeah, yeah. i would go to the pizza hut. >> they had one of those tables that you put the quarter in and my father would take us to pizza hut. and we'd be eating and i would just hear like back band going on over on the right part of the pizza hut. then my father would be telling me a long story. and i'm like good lord, just let me play pac-man. [ laughter ] finish up, man. >> seth: save your anecdotes for home. will you stick around? >> of course. thanks so much, buddy. >> seth: okay, great. we'll promise talk about the other 49 states. we'll be right back with more adam sandler. [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. we're here with adam sandler. you mentioned your 6-year-old. you also have a 9-year-old, yes? >> yeah, yeah. >> seth: two daughters. and they're in your movie. you put them in your movie. >> i always give them lines in my movies. >> seth: is it hard -- do you have to -- are they line counters? do they make sure they have the same amount as one another? >> yeah. i do, i give them maybe, like, a month out. i say you are in this one. oh, what do i get to say? well, you say this and then -- what do i get to say? you say that. you see them kind of counting.
[ light laughter ] you have nine words! amd i'm like "you have nine words." all right. yeah, that's the whole life with the two kids. it's competition. we were in new hampshire. again, new hampshire. so i'm there this weekend and by the way, the 6-year-old is kind of a little crazier than the 9-year-old. but the 9-year-old likes to win more than anybody. or be the best. so the 6-year-old, i come back from something, i don't know, eating or something. i come back. they're all swimming in the -- grandma's pool. and i hear from the 6-year-old "daddy, watch this." and i'm like oh, no. she's going to do something good. and then she does a flip off the diving board. and i'm like, oh, god, this is going to start trouble. then i hear -- i say to the bigger one. you want to do that? i can't! [ laughter ] and it was literally four hours of screaming at each other until like --
oh, yeah, then the little one was doing, you know, hand stands. it's a big deal to a hand stand in a pool and count how long. "daddy, i can do ten seconds." literally after one second at a time, the big one just smashes down. [ laughter ] >> seth: nice. >> yeah, very sweet to each other, yeah. >> seth: do they -- when they have their lines, do they get nervous before they do them in the scene, or are they fine? >> they literally, like it's all they talk about. when do we get to go? it's thursday. and you're shooting thursday. and tuesday, when is it? i said it's thursday. how far is that away? i said "today is tuesday. you've got wednesday and then it's --" "all right." and then thursday they get there, and they're in the makeup and they're getting all that on, and we're videoing outside of the -- and it's the happiest day. and then, action, they say their lines. awesome, great job. action. they say their line again. all right. we have to move to a different angle. then all of a sudden "how long is this going to take"? oh, my god. [ laughter ] ungrateful.
>> seth: you shot in toronto. >> yes. >> seth: are they -- a beautiful city. are cities excited to have you? are they excited when you're there? >> i thought they were. [ laughter ] no. toronto was the greatest. i shot billy madison there 20 years ago. 20 years later, they have all the incredible restaurants and all these great people. anyways, it was the best summer. but, the opening sequence that when we first -- the pacman sequence took two weeks to shoot. and the locations guy kept saying "we've got all of the certain area. we're doing pac-man there, it's so awesome. blah, blah, blah. it will take two weeks to shoot. night shoots." that started around 4:00 at night. he would take over the area, and pac-man is running through. we have all these extras. blah, blah, blah. and it's like a monster movie. all these giant effects and stuff. and i would -- i thought i was going to be, like, the king of the town. they were so mad at me for shutting down the neighborhood. [ laughter ] and then like, day one, it was like, "what's up?"
"you are ruining everything! i have to drive this way to get home." i'm like, "i have two weeks of this of people hating my guts." but we got through it. we got through it. they were very good to me. >> seth: are you done with the western? you still shooting your western? you done? >> finished it. >> seth: finished. >> it was fun as hell. >> seth: and you had will forte in your film, who is one of the funniest people. i think we both would agree. >> yeah. he was so funny. and very -- he's insane. he has -- i think his first date. him and five other guys who i'm friends with, funny guys, had to -- they were like bad asses and they were cowboys and they first shot. they to get on horses and come charging at us. and none of them rode. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> and like, i've been taking lessons. i took like 30 lessons to become, like, awful. and these guys literally were on horses, and we're like okay, you're going to hit your mark down there. you have to come really -- you know, a gallop? like, a gallop. a gallop. and they're like --
that's the first time i saw forte kind of just like, "well, i don't know." [ laughter ] but he did it. >> seth: he's fearless. >> he's fearless. >> seth: it's terrifying. >> it was a new moment, yeah. >> seth: he is such an interesting guy, because he is very particular. he is very, like, neat. he is a very neat person. except for everything but his car which is like a pile of garbage. >> really? >> seth: i lost my new hampshire driver's license in, like, 2004. i lose my new hampshire driver's license. i wait -- i don't need a driver's license in new york. i wait two years to go replace it. after two years, you have to take the new york test. you can't get -- so i have to do this. i go through this whole thing. i take my year test. last year -- forte. i get an envelope from forte, with my driver's license. like, "i found this in my car." [ laughter ] i'm like, it was in your car for 11 years? [ light laughter ] that's the filthiest thing i've ever heard. >> he's sick, sick boy. >> seth: did you have fun at the snl 40th? >> that was amazing. >> seth: i thought the digital short you did you with andy was just fantastic. >> that was all him, that was all him and the boys. i was so happy he called, because i wanted to be on that show.
andy called me up and said i got something pretty good if you want to do it. i was like, "i'm in, baby." that was the best night, though. >> seth: it was the best night. were you nervous before it aired? like, did you have that moment of, you know, you knew it was great. but here it is, the snl 40th. >> yeah, probably. i think i was. i was nervous the whole night. you know, you sit back and relax after a while. but -- i don't know. i just -- yeah. it's not like "oh, my god, that's so and so." cause we know everybody now. >> seth: right. >> but it was so long. we haven't seen everybody in so long. it was just good to see the old gang. good to meet new people, the new cast. i like those guys, they're all -- every -- i mean that's a long time to be on the air. >> seth: yeah. and it was nice. it was like a big old family reunion. >> it was, it was the best. i look forward it to again. 50, that's gonna be fun. >> seth: that'll be great. start your digital short now. start working on it now. >> yeah, i've got to get busy. >> seth: seriously, thank you so much for being here. [ cheers and applause ] >> good to see you, buddy, thank you. >> seth: adam sandler, everybody. "pixels" opens in theaters in imax 3d on friday. we'll be right back with margaret cho. ♪
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♪ >> seth: hi. >> hi. >> seth: so good to see you again. >> i know. i'm kind of still freaking out about your finger. >> seth: yeah, right. [ light laughter ] it's a big deal. >> no, but you know what i figured out? i think it's peanuts. >> seth: peanuts? >> you know, like an m & m. like a regular. the rest of your fingers are regular, and then that one's peanuts. >> seth: okay, got you. so these are regular m&m, regular m&m, peanut m&m. regular m&m. >> i just understand finger phobias. because i have a really weird finger. look at, my pinkies are really short. >> seth: your pinkies are tiny. >> they're like half fingers. i've never shown them to anybody before. >> seth: oh, my god. >> now i'm showing everybody in the world. >> seth: that's great. we want the show to be the place people come to show off their weird ass fingers. >> i don't know. i'm not sure. am i like actually reinforcing asian stereotypes with like,
length? [ laughter ] >> seth: i don't know. that's true though. there are people at home saying "get those fingers off camera." [ laughter ] you're not helping the cause. i saw -- last time i saw you was at the golden globes. >> which i have to congratulate you. okay, seth was one of the writers for the golden globes. you've been there -- and this year, well, you've been nominated before. >> seth: yeah, we got nominated for writing. >> this year, again. nominated again. >> seth: yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> which is great. nominated. >> seth: thank you very much. it's all the girls. >> it's the girls, well, what's great is that you are a star just like tina and amy. i mean, you're a star. but you're there in service to them and writing jokes for them. which is incredible. i mean, i've never seen a star do that. so i was excited. so, i was part of the writing staff, too. but i was secret, i was kind of a plant. tina like invited me to come. we didn't really know what was going to happen. but any time that tina fey asks you to do something, you're like, yes. >> seth: yeah, you show up.
>> so, i was there. and i played a north korean general -- >> seth: there you go. there you are right there. >> i was representing north korea, because north korea wanted to be part of the golden globes. >> seth: yes, you were the hollywood foreign press representative from north korea. you received a little bit of flak afterwards. most people really liked it. >> well a lot of people were offended because i was portraying -- asian person. [ laughter ] and so that was -- but you know what it was? it was a lot of white people got really offended. they're like how dare you portray korean? angry. i was like, i'm sorry. i didn't know what else to say. a lot of it came -- a lot of it came from england. it's like, white people in england. it's like england is like where white people begin the whitening process. [ laughter ] so they're as white as it gets. so they were really offended by it. i don't know. i think what it is is that white people like to tell asian people
how to feel about race because they're too scared to tell black people. >> seth: right, okay got you. that makes a lot of sense. >> i think so. i think that's it. >> seth: yeah. it's a jackpot for us. >> right. >> seth: because we also want to talk about -- we want to scold people about race, too. but we're too scared. so for us, when you do something like that, we're like "here we go." [ laughter ] >> it's easier. we have less melanin, we're probably not going to protest. there is no #koreanlivesmatter. [ laughter ] >> seth: you just go about your business. >> yeah, i mean, the hardest thing -- i'm so down with all of the protests against police violence and police brutality. something that we've been dealing with. it's not just eric garner, it's not just baltimore, for me it goes back to -- and rodney king. but whenever white and black people fight, asians and mexicans don't know what to do. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> you know, we're like "are we white?" [ laughter ] we just want to be on the winning side. [ laughter ] >> seth: right, sure. so you don't want to over commit. >> yeah.
you sort of like, we're not sure. >> seth: got you. >> it's all very hard to do jokes about, you know, race on tv or anywhere. >> seth: your new show, which is coming on showtime in september, do you address political correctness. there's been a lot of this conversation, jerry seinfeld talked about it on the show. i just saw colin quinn's show. he talks about. do you think there's truth to the fact that it's really hard right now to talk about things like race. there is more, there's sort of -- do you think there's truth to this political correctness coming back? >> well, there's truth to it. there's reasons to complain about things. but for comedians, we just try to be in, you know, in a way make people happy. i always think that jokes are okay. you're able to say whatever. i mean, the whole show that i'm doing is all about insanity. and the show is called "there's no i in team but there a cho in psycho." >> seth: very nice. [ laughter ] >> and so, it's really about being touched by the craziness of the world. i had a really insane incident happen.
this guy named christopher dorner, who's an lapd cop, he went crazy and he was fired by the force and he shot and killed eight people. >> seth: i remember this. >> and it was really scary. he went in hiding and he wrote a manifesto about his life and in the manifesto, he said that i was one of the most beautiful women in the world. and i was like, "oh, my gosh. thanks." [ laughter ] i was like really flattered. don't kill me. [ laughter ] but it was -- i was excited, because he wasn't talking about the other asian women i get jealous of like lucy liu. sandra oh, i didn't see your name on the manifesto. [ laughter ] >> seth: so that was great. so i guess, in the end, really a compliment is a compliment. it doesn't matter who it's from. >> just take it. >> seth: just take the compliment. you -- in your act you always talked about, you have been doing standup for 25 years. you have a unique perspective of bisexuals, female asians. who got you into the game? like, who was your inspiration? >> joan rivers.
>> seth: joan rivers. that's fantastic, she's the best. >> she and i met many, many years ago. i was like her sun yi. [ laughter ] you know, that -- you know, like that asian baby that you adopt late in life. >> seth: i don't know if that's exactly what that, how that analogy works. >> i was kind of like her sun yi. and she loved me. and she saw herself in me. you know, we had the stupid wedding jokes for like 20 years, because i'm korean so she was always afraid i was going to eat her dog. [ laughter ] >> seth: right. she always thought i was too fat. she said, you're so freakin' fat. if you gain any more freakin' weight, i'm going to freakin' die. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's a nice relationship. >> and my bad. >> seth: you also, of course, you have an actual mother. >> yes. >> seth: and how was she -- was
she maternal when she found out you wanted to do comedy? >> well, it's hard with your parents -- they don't really. my family didn't understand what stand up comedy was. they don't really have it in korea. so they didn't really get it. but i kind of told my mom, i want to be a comedian very young. i told her when i was 14. i said "i wanted to be a comedian." she said maybe it's better if you just die. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's nice. >> she's into it now. she loves it now. >> seth: she is a fan now? >> she loves it now. >> seth: does she go to your shows? >> she goes to my shows and she goes to the bathroom and she'll stand there, she'll do a meet and greet in the bathroom. [ light laughter ] she likes to talk to people. oh, that's okay. thank you for coming. so good. because she said "like every person that i see $50 there and $50 there and $50 -- that's $150." that's very -- she's crunching the numbers. >> seth: and that's good. and she likes being in the act. she likes being mentioned.
>> she loves it. >> seth: that's good. >> she's like, super into it. she doesn't care about the political correctness. but she thinks that you get me on that golden globe -- nomination. >> seth: all right. at the very least, you can be my plus one. >> well, i should be a plus one for everybody. who would you think is most likely to plus one me? maybe tina? no, tina, maybe? >> seth: i just offered. why aren't you taking my offer? >> i want. >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] we'll wait for tina and amy to say no, and then i'll be your plus one. >> i'll go with you. i'll go with you. >> seth: thank you so much. i would love that. thank you so much for being here. [ cheers and applause ] margaret cho, everybody. you can see margaret in montreal at the just for laughts festival on july 24th and in massachusetts at the provincetown town hall on august 13th. we'll be right back with more "late night." ♪ ♪ it's just a summer thing ♪ ♪ yeah, it was just a summer thing ♪ double it up this summer with a hot deal from mcdonald's. (music) the $2.50 double combo... (music) ...a mouth-watering double cheeseburger and small fries for just $2.50.
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♪ our hearts don't change from pups to dust couldn't see clearly, but i had a sense of what right ♪ ♪ and wrong was honest to god, i was honest as hell i don't lie very often but i lie very well ♪ ♪ give it away take what you need love does not cost money but it ain't free ♪ ♪ we're learning slowly equal parts of what you do you don't we don't remember we don't remember just how ♪ ♪ we got here equal parts of what we do, you don't we don't remember
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