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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  March 31, 2016 11:34pm-12:38am PDT

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prank on festus will be released. >> iggy snuck up on him and let him know it was all just a prank, just a joke, april fool's -- tomorrow. >> he finally got around to laughing about it. >> he's got some payback coming. >> have a great night. >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- taylor lautner. sean "diddy" combs. musical guest, weezer.
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and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 445 philly! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, great, thank you so much! you're too nice! hey, please sit down. relax, enjoy yourself. we're going to have fun tonight. [ cheers and applause ] hot crowd. this is what you want, right here. thank you very much. welcome to the "tonight show," this is it, right here. the "tonight show!"
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we've got a great one for you tonight. i'm your host, jimmy fallon. you guys, tomorrow it's april fool's day. [ cheers ] which means everyone will be waiting for donald trump to finally say, gotcha! [ cheers and applause ] april fools! i still think we should build a a wall. just kidding, april fools. actually trump is still the front-runner, even though some people have been saying that it's hard to figure out what he stands for. we looked at some of the stuff he said and figure out one thing, his favorite movie seems to be "the breakfast club." take a look at this. >> i've been very successful. everybody loves me. >> i'm so popular, everybody loves me so much. >> we will win. and we will win. and we will win. >> win, win, win! >> stupid! >> stupid! >> jerk. >> jerk. >> worthless. >> worthless.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: we will never forget about you, donald. meanwhile, hillary clinton said republicans are trying to act like president obama is not still president. also doing that? president obama. he's like -- [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: tango. >> jimmy: guys, here's an interesting fact, here. i read that if donald trump and hillary clinton are the two nominees, it will be the first time both parties' nominees are over 65 years old. which should explain that one debate where they just play checkers in the park. [ laughter and applause ] king me. that's right. trump and hillary would be the oldest nominees since 1848. or as bernie sanders put it, my first campaign! [ laughter and applause ] i remember it like it was yesterday!
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as the election wears on, it does seem like both hillary and trump are beginning to focus their attacks on each other, instead of the other nominees. i wish these two would just stop fighting and give the world what it wants, a picture of them doing the snapchat face swap. i mean, can't -- that's what we want. that's it. [ cheers and applause ] that's all we want. come on, what's the big deal? >> steve: come on. that's it. >> jimmy: let's get to some sports news, here. i saw that mets city field just unveiled some new menu items that include nutella stuffed fried rice balls, deep-fried cheesecake on a stick, peanut butter pretzel-coated bacon on a stick and a 38-ounce rib chop. it's a delicious menu. plus you get to beat traffic after the game by riding in an ambulance. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: that's good. ♪
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♪ rib stick. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. guys, if you're thinking about getting married, you should listen to this, the "new york times" just published some reader-submitted questions that you should ask your partner before marriage. including do you have a sense of humor? how adaptable to change are you? and how forgiving are you? those are just some pretty normal questions. but then it gets really specific as it goes on. here's some more questions. how much passive-aggressive anger can you express with a a single sigh? [ laughter and applause ] also, do you tough it out when you have a cold, even though your partner becomes a complete invalid the minute he gets the sniffles? [ cheers and applause ] also the question, what does the word "fine" mean to you? hint, it means not fine.
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[ cheers and applause ] and finally -- finally, do you have one thing that could totally shatter your relationship if you brought it up during a fight? do you savor it like the finest wine, waiting for the day you will burn it all to the ground? [ cheers and applause ] very important question before you get married. did you see this guy? a lot of people talking about this guy on "wheel of fortune" the other day. he did really, really well. i mean, he solved almost every single puzzle. and the last puzzle, only had one letter and he gets really excited after he gets it correct. watch this guy. >> i would like to buy an "i." >> three "i's." >> exhilarating water slide. >> that's it. >> don't let the cat out of the bag. >> oh, what a night. >> yeah, that's it. >> port and starboard. >> yeah, that's it. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: you're going to hawaii. alone. nobody wants to be around you, woo! they asked the guy what he does for a living, he was like, "oh, i'm a writer for 'wheel of fortune.'" [ laughter ] now it makes sense. port and starboard? and finally, this is pretty cool. i saw that chipotle is considering opening a new restaurant that specializes in hamburgers. that's right. after what their burritos did, chipotle now wants to ruin a a new set of buns. there we go. we have a great show everybody. give it up for the roots right there! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's been a great week so far. there's more ahead. tomorrow night we've got aaron paul, governor chris christie. [ cheers and applause ]
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comedian nate bargatze and "thank you notes." that's tomorrow night. its gonna be a good one. and then i'm very excited for this and a little nervous. on monday, melissa mccarthy and i are going to face off in a a lip-sync battle. [ cheers and applause ] melissa mccarthy. >> steve: wow. that sounds amazing. >> jimmy: i know. i got to choose my jam. that's tough competition. >> steve: choose carefully. >> jimmy: i know, and thank you very much. i'm very excited about the show tonight. come on, the one and only taylor lautner is here, you guys! >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he's the man. he's always fun. he's been in england for a a while. taylor and i are going to go head to head in a game of random object shootout later in the show. a little march madness fun. plus, this guy can do it all, se "diddy" combs is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] and i'm so excited, we have weezer here! [ cheers and applause ] guys, it's time for "tonight show hashtags!" here we go. ♪ hashtags
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hashtags ♪ >> jimmy: here we go. you guys are on twitter, right? you're on twitter? [ cheers ] it's fun, we use twitter on our show every single week. and so, if you're watching the show and want to play along, we do this thing every wednesday where i send out a hashtag and we ask you guys to tweet out things based on that topic. so since nbc recently premiered its new show, it's a big hit, called "little big shots" about kids with strange talents, i went on twitter and started a a hashtag called #mykidisweird. [ laughter ] and i asked you guys to tweet out a funny, weird or embarrassing story about your kid. we got thousands of tweets, within 30 minutes it was a a trending topic in the u.s. so thank you for those tweets. thank you for playing the game with us. so now i thought i would share some of my favorite my kid is weird tweets from you guys. here we go. this first one is from @jarenmccormick. she says, "my kid told me that my butt looked like a bag full of chicken nuggets." [ laughter and applause ]
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>> steve: is that weird? >> jimmy: yeah, that's weird. >> steve: it was more of a a truth-teller. >> jimmy: no, that's weird. this one is from @mollyligonn. she says, "my nephew once sneezed out a sour patch kid. i still have no idea where it came from." >> steve: he hasn't eaten one of those in ten years. >> jimmy: i found it on the sidewalk. this one is from @facelessukulele. >> steve: oh, wow. love faceless. >> jimmy: that name is taken on twitter. she says, "one of the kids in my class came out of the bathroom and quietly said to himself, 'well that hurt.'" [ laughter and applause ] this one's from @timdrake. he says, "my friend's kid will just stare at him and meow when he's hungry since that's what the cat does to get food." [ laughter and applause ] meow. meow.
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this one's from @jodyandmatt. she says, "my son told his class that my job is that i stand at a hotel and guys come to see me. i work at the front desk." that's not what -- guys come to see me. i stand at a hotel. guys come to see me. >> steve: never stays the night. only there for a few hours a a day and then she gets paid. >> jimmy: this one is from @baristasimmer. she says, "when i caught my daughter picking her nose, she said, 'i'm putting it back in.'" [ laughter ] >> steve: it's a sour patch kid. >> jimmy: it's a sour patch kid. this one is from @jehedgesphoto. she says, "my 9-year-old daughter asked, 'mommy, when i grow up will my boobs be as long as yours?'" [ cheers and applause ] go to bed. this one is from @tmcully. she says, "here's a picture.
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found this on the dining room wall, asked my 4-year-old son what it meant. he said, 'you can't know.'" i says, "horse hair." [ laughter ] that's weird. what does that mean? you can't know? you will never find out. horse hair. last one is from @jenboston. this is a photo. she says, "my 3-year-old asks to have her picture taken with store mannequins." here's the photo. that's cute, that's cute. there you go. those are the "tonight show hashtags" to check out more of our favorites go to tonightshow.com/hashtags. we'll be back with taylor lautner, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ drop that beat.
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♪ ♪ yea we rocking right now. ♪ one time... ♪ two times. the gravity here is too strong for my ship. looks like you'll have to spend the night. yeah... the night. ♪ (sfx: record scratch) one thing led to another and... i don't think that's how they're made.
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klondike hooks up with your favorite flavors to bring you... the best ice cream bars ever conceived. ♪ ♪ he'll take my arm. ♪ ♪ when we're walking, ♪ ♪ rolling and rocking. ♪ woo! ♪ ♪ ooow!
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you know our first guest from such movies as "twilight" and "the ridiculous 6." he's currently starring in the third season of the series "cuckoo," which is available on
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netflix starting april 15th. very funny. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome taylor lautner! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: i miss you coming on. i haven't seen you in a while, man. >> it's been a second. >> jimmy: it's been a second. well, you've been over in england. >> yeah. i've been in london, shooting "cuckoo." >> jimmy: london, shooting -- and it's -- the show is super funny. but how is it living over there now? is it totally diff? >> it's great. i mean hon -- totally diff. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: like how diff is it -- you started talking like -- >> okay. >> jimmy: i abbreviate words. i talk differently now, yeah. what's the sitch over there? [ laughter ] >> the sitch is um -- omg. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: lol, lol. yeah, yeah. >> it's awesome.
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>> jimmy: brb. >> like -- [ light laughter ] london is honestly -- >> jimmy: my favorite. >> it's like my favorite city. >> jimmy: it's the best. besides new york, of course. >> yeah, i -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: obviously. present company excluded. >> right. >> jimmy: but it is gorgeous. >> no, it's awesome. i mean, i love the people over there. i mean it's -- >> jimmy: the comedy is great over there. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: it's tip top. >> it took a -- it took a -- it's tip top. [ laughter ] it took a second for me to -- >> jimmy: it's tip top, you know? >> tip top. >> jimmy: top shop, yeah? top man. who's your man? [ laughter ] you know. you could be walking down the street going, "hey, who's your man, you know?" [ laughter ] it's tip top, man. ship shape. >> i'm not even gonna go with you there. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is it tricky knowing what the joke was, how to joke in england? >> yeah, because their sense of humor is like -- it's different. it's a bit more dry. >> jimmy: it's very dry. >> sarcastic. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i've been wanting to
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say -- i have weird responses tonight. [ laughter ] yeah! damn, daniel! >> damn, daniel! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] yeah, daniel! >> let's just do this the whole show. >> jimmy: no, this is great. yeah, i'm sorry about that. >> yeah, so -- [ laughter ] yeah. yeah, so it took a second for me to adjust to, like, the sarcasm. i mean, literally at first when i went there to do my first season of the show, i thought people were being mean to me. like, they're so sarcastic and dry, i'm like, "are you -- do you like me?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did i do something wrong? absolutely, yeah. >> yeah. and then when i went back to do my second season of the show, i can banter back and forth with them a little bit more. >> jimmy: well, like what -- it took some getting used to. but do you know, like, a a cockney slang and all that stuff? >> i don't know, i don't have it down. but my cast mates, they actually -- they gave me a a quiz. and i learned a lot from that. >> jimmy: can you teach me something? or maybe give me the quiz and i could see if i could guess. >> okay. see if i can remember. so they have these weird
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sayings. so what would you think "apples and pears" mean? "apples and pears." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: something to do with rhyming. so maybe -- >> yeah, it does. it -- >> jimmy: go up the stairs? >> you -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is that right? >> yes, that's right! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey! how did i know that? ♪ it's not go down the stairs. >> no. apples and pears means go up the stairs. >> jimmy: what? oh, it doesn't? >> no, it does. >> jimmy: oh, it does? >> yeah. i'm just surprised. i was baffled. >> jimmy: yeah, i don't know why. that makes perfect sense to me. [ laughter ] i don't know why i guessed that. we didn't plan this out or anything, i swear. >> no. >> jimmy: give me another one. >> okay, here you go. >> jimmy: give me another one. >> okay, so stay on the rhyming thing. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> what does, uh -- "pass me the dog and bone"? dog and bone. >> jimmy: pick up the phone. >> yes, that means phone. good job. [ laughter ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: really? >> yes. >> jimmy: that's fantastic. i -- we should take the show to england. >> i need to bring you over there with me. >> jimmy: what other things do they do there that we don't do here? maybe we could bring a new -- a a new thing here. play a new game or something like that. >> okay, this is going to sound insane. but the pastime -- because you know, on sets, there's a lot of time you have to kill between takes and stuff, set-up. so in between set-ups, my costar, greg davies, taught me this game they used to play when he was six years old called "milky cow." >> jimmy: all right. this is go to sweep the nation. this is a new game. [ laughter ] >> this is -- >> jimmy: milky cow. >> milky cow. >> jimmy: do you need a cow to play it? >> no, just you and me. >> jimmy: just me and you? >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i got to call my wife first. [ laughter ] >> you might want to check on that. okay. no, no, no. you gotta -- this is very serious. >> jimmy: okay, yeah. >> okay. so the game is called milky cow. >> jimmy: mm-hmm. >> are you good at holding your breath? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: uh -- i'm going to say sure. yeah, i'll go for it. yeah.
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>> okay. you're going to take a deep breath in and you're going to say "milky cow" slow as you can. so you're going to go -- "mill-lil-lil-lil-lil-lil-lil" and we're gonna hold the lil-lil-lils. we have to maintain eye contact. [ laughter ] if you're breaking already you're screwed. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, you know, it's me we're talking to here. >> i know, that's why i'm gonna win. so -- we're going to look each other in the eye. >> jimmy: okay, yeah. >> and if you break and you can't continue saying "milky cow," you lose automatically. >> jimmy: okay. >> and then you hold it for as long as you can. and when you're out of breath at the end, you have to get out "milky cow"! and the person that can hold that the longest wins. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, this is -- this is the rules of "milky cow," everybody. this is the game that every -- [ light laughter ] everyone's gonna be playing. i won't break, i won't break. my face is permanently a a smile -- >> get it together. >> jimmy: -- 'cause of all the plastic surgery that i've had. [ laughter ] all right. >> all right. >> jimmy: here we go. >> deep breath in.
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>> jimmy: hold on, hold on, hold on. hold on. [ light laughter ] hold on, hold on, hold on. all right. i want to get it out. [ cheers and applause ] get it out. get it out of my system. [ laughter ] all right, want to get it out of the system. got the laughs out of the system, now i'm dead serious. >> okay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oy. oy, oy, oy, mate! oy! >> let's go! >> jimmy: let's go! ready? >> yup. [ light laughter ] >> both: mil-il-il-il-il-il-il-il-il-il- il-il-il-il-il-il -- [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: that made me touch my nose. [ laughter ] oh, gosh, i totally broke. i don't know why i broke on that. i want to talk about "cuckoo." gosh, you got to come on all the time, man. we miss having you on. "cuckoo." here's how fun this show is,
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and different. and you have to get it on netflix and watch this show. can you explain it? because i won't be good at explaining it. >> i -- i'm not good. >> jimmy: no, come on. this will be -- it's interesting to hear what you think the show is about. >> okay. you're gonna have to stay with me here. >> jimmy: yep. >> so it's a british comedy. >> jimmy: there you go. >> it's set in a small town outside london called litchfield. the first season of the show starred andy samberg. >> jimmy: i love -- yeah. we remember that. andy samberg. >> he played cuckoo. >> jimmy: yeah. >> he moves in with this family -- that's where you gotta stay with me. marries the 22-year-old daughter, rachel. >> jimmy: mm-hmm. >> and then i'm going to cut forward here, at the end of that season he disappears. beginning of next season, he falls off a cliff and dies. i show up, claiming to be cuckoo's long-lost son. [ light laughter ] because when cuckoo was 13, he lost his virginity, and -- he didn't know it, but he had a a son, and that's me. and then i move in with the family, and me and my step-mom have some weird sexual chemistry.
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. yeah, yeah, yeah. >> and it's just -- >> jimmy: it's fun for the whole family. >> it's really -- [ laughter ] yeah. >> jimmy: i mean, it's apples and pears, really. >> up the stairs. >> jimmy: it's up the stairs. you know. here's a sneak peek at taylor lautner in the upcoming season of "cuckoo." take a look at this. >> you look so nice in your suit. >> mr. z had this suit made for me personally. oh, mr. z is my new mentor. what a wise and inspirational man, let me tell you. >> right. he's not another -- is he? [ laughter ] >> of course not, lorna. i learned my lesson on that one. you guys must have thought i was a real dope. >> well, we did -- >> no we did not. >> no. no, mr. z is actually a very successful businessman. >> well, he can stay as long as he wants. we're doing up your room for the baby. so you'll have to stay in dillon's room. >> well, that isn't happening. >> that's a great idea. we could get those old bunk beds out. >> yeah, we'll set the old bunk beds in your ass.
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i'm not -- [ laughter ] >> insubordination. >> it's so good to have you back, dale. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how fun is that? that's the most fun. stick around, taylor lautner and i are playing random object shootout when we get back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ here's what we were thinking. what if you get a mortgage on your phone? wouldn't more people buy homes? and wouldn't those people need to fill their homes with household goods? and wouldn't the makers of those goods have phones from which they could easily secure mortgages of their own? further stoking demand as our tidal wave of ownership floods the country with new homeowners, who now must own other things. anyway. that's what we were thinking.
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so come try the largest variety of lobster dishes of the year, like lobster lover's dream or new dueling lobster tails. it's a party on every plate, and you're invited. so come in while it lasts. alriwe could do tacos.hink boys? we could do some thai.
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ooo... how 'bout sushi, eh? (dog yawns) no, we're not having barbecue... again. (dog groans) why? because you're on four legs, and i'm on two... and i'm driving. that's why. (dog whines) sushi it is. lease a 2016 lincoln navigator for $599 a month only at your lincoln dealer.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. we're hanging out with taylor lautner, everybody. that's what i'm talking right there. [ cheers and applause ] "cuckoo" is on netflix. guys, in honor of march madness, taylor and i are about to go head in to head in a a random object shootout. now, we'll take turns shooting these random objects into that basketball hoop. the objects we're shooting tonight are, a bowl of bouncy basketballs. >> nice.
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>> jimmy: a ukulele filled with fruity pebbles. [ laughter ] a rain boot filled with rain. [ light laughter ] a lincoln log cabin. a werewolf on a burrito. >> nice. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and the money ball, worth two points, a boom box. an old-fashioned boom box, right there. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what do you think, looking good? >> yeah. >> jimmy: all right, lets do this. roots, maybe a little music? ♪ taylor, since you're our guest, please go for it. >> i start? >> jimmy: yeah, go for it, buddy. good luck. you can throw it any way you want. >> i, uh -- >> jimmy: march madness, baby. >> i'm going to granny shot this. >> jimmy: yeah, go for it, yeah. ♪ >> so sorry, so sorry. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh. >> oh! >> jimmy: all right, maybe i'll leave my jacket on. all right, ready?
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[ cheers ] oh! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: all right. did you see what fell down? yeah! [ cheers and applause ] it's all about how you finish. here you go, ukulele. oh, nice. beautiful. filled with fruity pebbles. >> okay. oh, boy. oh! [ laughter and applause ] [ sad tuba ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: awesome! this is the best. that was almost a perfect game. i might cry. it's almost a perfect game.
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it's so exciting. all right, rain boot. >> all right. >> jimmy: you can still catch up. >> okay. >> jimmy: rain boot filled with rain. be careful here. you want to do it like this on that one. oh, yeah. it's really filled with water. >> yeah, okay. >> jimmy: roots, be careful, roots. >> oh! >> jimmy: you can do it, man. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: oh! ♪ [ cheers ] >> oh! [ sad tuba ] very close. >> jimmy: all right. that was a nice shot. >> how does this go? >> jimmy: all right, lincoln logs. >> like that? >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah?
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>> jimmy: yeah. >> okay. okay, here we go. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: no! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my gosh! this is an awesome game. this is the closest game ever. >> it's all right. >> jimmy: woo! oh! [ sad tuba ] >> jimmy: everything was off. it was lame. i'm embarrassed. >> okay. >> jimmy: all right, werewolf on a burrito. >> werewolf on a burrito. >> jimmy: come on, man. >> there we go. >> jimmy: yeah, you can do this one. come on. on the plate? on the plate? ♪ [ laughter ] [ sad tuba ] oh. judges? >> all right. >> jimmy: judges say absolutely not. >> now -- here we go. >> jimmy: come on, buddy. you can do it, man. >> there we go, there we go. >> jimmy: come on. oh! [ sad tuba ]
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all right, it's all down to this, the money ball. >> woo! >> jimmy: this is a boom box. please put on your protective goggles. >> oh, for this one. for what? >> jimmy: all right. all right. we're doing this. >> hold onto it. >> jimmy: you go first, put the cassette in. press play and throw the boom box. >> here we go. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] [ audience claps ] ♪ >> jimmy: come on, that's that london. that's that london. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, all right. it was so high. oh, my gosh! >> oh, that's my boom box. >> jimmy: it's still playing, yeah.
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♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] [ drum roll ] [ sad tuba ] >> jimmy: the champion, right here. ♪ taylor lautner, everybody! season three of "cuckoo" is available april 15th on netflix. sean "diddy" combs joins us next. check it out, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i think we should've taken a tarzan know where tarzan go! tarzan does not know where tarzan go. hey, excuse me, do you know where the waterfall is? waterfall? no, me tarzan, king of jungle. why don't you want to just ask somebody? if you're a couple, you fight over directions.
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it's what you do. if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. oh ohhhhh it's what you do. ohhhhhh! do you have to do that right in my ear? fan favorites burbon st. chicken of applebeand shrimp? it's so smokey and mysterious... then that cajun spice. i almost forgot i could feel this way. she used to talk about me like that. everyone's a fan with applebee's 2 for $20 fan favorites. hey kevin. hey, fancy seeing you here. uh, i live right over there actually. you've been to my place. no, i wasn't...oh look, you dropped something.
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it's your resume with a 20 dollar bill taped to it. that's weird. you want to work for ge too. hahaha, what? well we're always looking for developers who are up for big world changing challenges like making planes, trains and hospitals run better. why don't you check your new watch and tell me what time i should be there. oh, i don't hire people. i'm a developer. i'm gonna need monday off. again, not my call. let's go. what? you didn't even move your hands! another game! i've got a table ready at 6:00 o'clock. alexa, how's the traffic? female voice: the fastest route is 45 minutes to downtown. jason, get in the sidecar. (engine rumbling) i think the first step in being able to create a helpful solution is just to be able to recognize problems in the world around you.
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don't you dare change the rules. don't you dare play with your food. don't you dare get any big ideas. ignore what people say you can't do. don't you dare take that apart. don't you dare stay up all night on the computer. don't you dare raise your voice. ♪ ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are joined right now, by one of the biggest names in music, and a very successful entrepreneur and philanthropist. his latest album "m.m.m." is on itunes, and he just released a a video from his new single "you could be my lover." here's a quick look at this. ♪ ♪
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>> jimmy: yeah, that's what i'm talking about. ♪ you could be my love ♪ here to tell us about that and a lot more, say hello to sean "diddy" combs! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, thank you, thank you! [ cheers and applause ] >> how about the roots, too, over here? the almighty roots crew! >> jimmy: come on, that's what i'm talking about. >> yeah, man. >> jimmy: thank you for coming back to see us. you know we love you here. >> oh, man, how y'all feeling out there? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i don't even need to be here. you know how to do it. you know how to do it. you know how to control the party. you come here -- every time you
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come here, i don't even need to ask you questions, you just take over and do your own thing. >> god is good all the time. >> jimmy: god is good all -- yeah, you're good. >> god is good. >> jimmy: yes, definitely. >> give it up for god. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you could be -- i want to talk about the video, because "you could be my lover" is the video, yeah? >> yes. >> jimmy: and i'm assuming you're talking to me when i watch it. [ laughter ] everyone should feel that way when you watch it. the one thing that it reminds me of is you know how to throw a party. you know how to do it up, because i know you work hard -- you work hard, but you also play hard. >> you got to work hard, and you have to play hard. you have to treat yourself. >> jimmy: right? oh, my gosh. [ cheers and applause ] you said that with your eyes closed. >> both: you got to treat yourself. >> it's a lot of positive -- i'm filled with positivity. >> jimmy: you are. >> there's a lot of positive things going on in my life right now. >> jimmy: that's what it's all about. >> in the air. >> jimmy: you're feeling it. >> that's what the party is about. when you come to a puff daddy party. >> jimmy: you used to invite me to your parties. [ laughter ] you did. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you did.
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i remember i got an invite from you, once. this is true, you used to have these crazy parties. one invite, it self-destructed. it was you talking -- >> yes, i remember. >> jimmy: you gave the information of where the party was and then it said, this message will self-destruct. >> i'm very high-concept, jimmy. >> jimmy: yes, and then it said, you go, "you better write this down because i'm not going it repeat it. it's going to self-destruct." so i wrote the address down and it broke, whatever it was you gave me. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it self-destructed. it really did, like james bond. then i went to the party. >> yes. >> jimmy: and it was one of the best parties i've ever been to. i went with lorne michaels. >> yes. >> jimmy: we went in, and it's just packed. and everyone's dancing and having a good time and drinking and it was awesome. and i could kind of see you. [ laughter ] i was in like a special section, i think. [ laughter ] i wasn't in the vip section, yeah. but, no. but, you know, you gave me a a shout-out. you would announce people who came to the party. >> yes, i love being a host. it's about hosting and it's about giving. nobody is going to remember the takers, jimmy. >> jimmy: no.
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>> nobody is going to remember the takers, they're going to remember the givers. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, i like that. i agree. >> i have to give a shout-out to pastor noel jones, that was his sermon this sunday. i just sampled noel jones. >> jimmy: oh, he's fine. what's his name, pastor who? >> pastor noel jones. grace jones' brother is an incredible pastor. >> jimmy: i know him. >> yes! >> jimmy: he's my friend. >> yes! yes! >> jimmy: i know him. yeah, yeah, yeah. >> and so we got to give. so when you come to a a puff daddy party, i'm on the mic. i'm spreading love, giving a a shout-out. i'm just congratulating everybody for their hard work. >> jimmy: can i just say -- >> ciroc is overflowing everywhere. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, everywhere. >> everywhere. >> jimmy: it's everywhere. >> people are dancing. bad boy music is playing. >> jimmy: people are swimming in ciroc. they don't even care, yeah. >> and we're two-stepping. so jimmy, jimmy, listen. we're two-stepping. can i get something to two step with? >> jimmy: yeah, come on. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> put your hand on your -- >> jimmy: i added a third step.
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i added a third step. >> that's a fourth step. ♪ >> jimmy: i added a third step. i added a third easter egg, a a hidden step in there, yeah. speaking of giving, can i just say something before we even get into something like that? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you did something great with mark wahlberg for flint, michigan, all our friends over in flint. >> yes. >> jimmy: the awful thing that happened with the -- no water. they have no drinking water. you gave one million bottles of drinking water. >> yes. [ cheers and applause ] that was through me and mark wahlberg's water company, aqua hydrate. but we got donations from wiz khalifa, usher, from michael strahan and ron burkle. we all did it together. it's about giving back, and shout-out to everybody in flint. may this tragedy turn around. and god bless you and your families. >> jimmy: anything you can do, yeah, it would be great. [ cheers and applause ] i thought that was unbelievable. above and beyond.
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that was so cool that you did that. and then you're doing a charter school. you're opening this, this is a a project you've been working on, we talked about this probably five years ago? >> yes. >> jimmy: in harlem. >> for six years, i've been working on a project with steven perry. he's a great scholar, dr. steven perry. he has 100% graduation rates with his children up in connecticut. i called him, i said, "i have this dream. i want to open up a school in my hometown of harlem." he was like "okay, you want to do an after-school program, right?" i was like "no, no, i want to open up a school. i want to open up a school with a real curriculum to teach our future leaders of tomorrow that's coming out of our communities." because i feel like i'm where i'm at because my mother gave me an incredible education. but some people, they don't get that opportunity. so, in harlem, where i'm from, we have so many -- so many leaders, and they don't get a a chance to get that education, that same education maybe somebody gets in scarsdale or something. and so i wanted to make sure that the campus looked like scarsdale and felt like harlem, and the education was top-notch
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and it's a curriculum that really builds the future leaders of tomorrow. it's called capital prep, the school is free for the kids that get to go there. it's a charter school and launching this year, and it's grades 6-7, and we're going to constantly grow, so we're need your support for capital prep in harlem. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: so happy that's taking off. that's great. go to school. go to school, kids! and then, i quickly want to mention, may 20th at barclays in brooklyn. >> yes. >> jimmy: you're having a big party. >> yes, i'm -- >> jimmy: again i didn't get my -- i think i -- well, it might have self- destructed before i even received it. >> no, but you're invited and the whole world is invited. it's the bad boy family reunion tour. 20 years of hits, may 20th at the barclays, the night before biggie's birthday. everybody back home on stage, first time in years. >> jimmy: faith evans, lil' kim. >> first time ever, really -- >> jimmy: mase. my man, mase. >> -- that we're all on stage. >> me, mase. i love mase! lil kim, 112. >> jimmy: hug mase for me.
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i love him. >> jay-z is going to be there, mary j. blige. >> jimmy: mary j. blige. >> french montana. total's coming. >> jimmy: it's gonna be good. >> the lox! the list goes on and on. >> jimmy: and i'll be in the back, you guys. i'll be in the back enjoying the whole show. >> hopefully i can bring you on stage. you know, something like that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, you don't want that at all. trust me, man, no. that would just be a -- no, just leave me in the corner. yeah, i'll be good. >> tickets go on sale this saturday at 11:00 a.m., ticketmaster.com. livenation.com, come and join us. come party with us. >> jimmy: may 20th, that's gonna be a good one. our thanks to sean combs, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] do not miss the biggie smalls memorial concert may 20th in brooklyn. weezer performs after the break. stick around, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i love to take pictures that engage people and to connect us with the wonderment of nature. with the tiger image, the saliva coming off
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and you got this turning. that's why i need this kind of resolution and computing power. being able to use a pen like this on the screen directly with the image, it just gives me a different relationship to it and i can't do that on my mac. this is brilliant for me.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight's musical guests are out with a new self-titled album today. and they're going to kick off a a massive u.s. tour with panic at the disco in june. performing "king of the world,"
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please welcome weezer! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ you walk by the magazines sitting on the rack at the cvs ♪ ♪ one more sad movie star divorce 300 died in an airplane wreck ♪ ♪ and you think of all the people suffering and you bury that pain ♪ ♪ but you can tell me everything and we'll ride on that wave ♪ ♪ if i was king of the world you'd be my girl you wouldn't have to shed one single tear ♪ ♪ unless you wanted to 'cause yeah i know what it's like ♪ ♪ if i was king of the world yeah girl we could ride a greyhound all
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the way to the galapagos ♪ ♪ and stay for the rest of our lives ♪ ♪ oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪ ♪ dad hit you on the hand just for holding your chopsticks wrong ♪ ♪ then your mom locked you in a shed and uncle sam dropped an atom bomb ♪ ♪ but you're not alone you can let it go and just weep on my breast ♪ ♪ and cover me with your tenderness and that pain will pass ♪ ♪ if i was king of the world you'd be my girl you wouldn't have to shed one single tear ♪ ♪ unless you wanted to 'cause yeah i know what it's like ♪ ♪ if i was king of the world yeah girl we could ride a greyhound all the way to the galapagos ♪ ♪ and stay for
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the rest of our lives ♪ ♪ oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪ ♪ we are the small fish we swim together no prozac or valium ♪ ♪ we'll face tsunamis together ♪ ♪ if i was king of the world you'd be my girl you wouldn't have to shed one single tear ♪ ♪ unless you wanted to 'cause yeah i know what it's like ♪ ♪ if i was king of the world yeah girl we could ride a greyhound all the way to the galapagos ♪ ♪ and stay for
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the rest of our lives ♪ ♪ oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on! that's how you do it right there! that's how you do it! weezer, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] their new album is out now. we'll be right back! come on! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to taylor lautner, sean "diddy" combs, weezer once again! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- pharell williams. from "girls," actor andrew rennells. animal expert, corbin maxey. featuring the 8g band with stanton moore. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers! >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers and this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's wonderful to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. tomorrow is april fool's day. so if anyone wants to admit to an elaborate prank, please go ahead. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]

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