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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  December 5, 2016 11:34pm-12:38am PST

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recognizes tragedies and holidays. very nice gesture from the people in dallas, texas. >> people from all over the world sending condolences, including president obama. we are have rain in a couple of days. you can see it develops 4:00 to 8:00 p.m. on thursday. wet weather thursday into friday morning and as that storm really starts to arrive thursday it will be windy, gusts 15 to 30 mile-per-hour out of the south and we'll start to dry up in the upcoming weekend. the next news briefing in oakland is at 6:00 a.m. tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- anette bening, steve harvey, musical guest the hamilton
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mixtape, and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 584! yeah! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. oh, welcome. enjoy the show. welcome to the show. welcome, everybody. welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. thank you. thank you. thank you. welcome. [ cheers and applause ] welcome to "the tonight show." this is it, baby. [ cheers and applause ] this is the show to be at.
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this is the show tonight. welcome, everybody. wow, what a great crowd. guys, here's what everybody's talking about. i saw that al gore met with donald trump today to discuss climate change. [ light laughter ] they probably talked about how climate change could lead to massive floods in places like new york city. trump was like, "that's why i live on the 58th floor." [ laughter ] when it gets around 57, i bring the yacht around. [ applause ] the other big news is that trump appointed ben carson as his secretary of housing and urban development. [ laughter ] that means that trump talked with ben carson and al gore in the same day which is -- [ laughter ] kind of like popping an ambien before you watch the weather channel. [ cheers and applause ] meanwhile, trump announced that the ceo of disney will be advising his transition team. [ laughter ] thanks to him, trump won't have to build a wall anymore. he'll just charge so much for
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admission that nobody will want to come in. [ cheers and applause ] and donald trump is still trying to decide who to nominate for secretary of state. he's reportedly considering david petraeus, mitt romney, rudy giuliani, john bolton, and jon huntsman. apparently trump is taking them all on a group date tonight, and one of them gets to join him in the fantasy suite. [ laughter and applause ] [ as trump ] "let's go to the fantasy suite. take you in a helicopter." [ laughter ] this is cool. the white house just launched a a new app where you point your phone's camera at a dollar bill and a 3-d image of the white house pops up that you can explore. the kids call it a cool thing to play with, while nicholas cage calls it -- [ as cage ] "a hidden map to unspeakable treasures." [ laughter and applause ] "you don't know what's in there. who, why, where." in tv news it was announced that showtime has canceled its series, "masters of sex." [ audience aws ]
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men said it went on long enough and women said it ended way too soon. [ applause ] actually, i just saw a new study that finds that wearing socks while having sex may make it more enjoyable. while wearing socks with sandals will make sex highly unlikely. [ laughter ] i read that. i read that today. >> steve: that's a good study. >> jimmy: and check this out. steven hawking filmed a new public service announcement about obesity, saying people eat too much and move too little. [ laughter ] so, it got weird when hawking added -- >> yo mama so fat, when she gets on the scale, it says, "one at a time." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. one at a time? >> steve: one at a time? >> jimmy: why would he say that? why would he say that? that's not nice of him. >> steve: that's rude. >> jimmy: that's not nice of him to say that. >> yo mama so fat she walked past the tv and i missed three episodes. [ applause ] >> jimmy: she walked in front of the tv -- >> steve: three episodes. >> jimmy: and he missed three episodes.
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>> steve: not one episode, three episodes. >> jimmy: i can't believe he's saying that stuff. enough. >> yo mama so fat, santa sits on her lap. >> jimmy: i'll give you that one. [ applause ] i'll give you that one, steve. santa sits on her lap. >> steve: yeah, that's how large she is. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: finally, you guys, i read that -- [ laughter ] i read that the new uber update tracks where you go for five minutes after your car drops you off. [ audience groans ] some users say it's creepy. then they went back to getting in a car with a stranger and telling them exactly where they live. [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, everybody. big show tonight. it is monday. we're so happy to be back. we have a big week of shows coming up. tomorrow night chris pratt will
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be here. [ cheers and applause ] and we're going to be doing a a little mad libs theater together. it will be fun. plus we have katie holmes is coming on and john mayer will be joining us. [ cheers and applause ] then later this week, we have edward norton, robert de niro, pharrell williams, and dwayne johnson all dropping by. it's going to be good. >> steve: wow! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: but first, joining us tonight, she is a terrific actress. her new movie "20th century women" is full of amazing performances, annette bening is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. she's my pal. she's awesome. >> steve: wonderful. >> jimmy: annette, the roots, and i are going to play "family feud" right after this commercial break. so you don't want to miss it. it's good. should be good. should be good. are you playing with us? >> steve: no. >> jimmy: you're not. [ audience aws ] well, maybe because we have a a special guest coming. >> steve: ooh. [ audience oohs ] >> jimmy: plus, he's the emmy award winning host -- we don't. [ laughter ] but we might. >> steve: we don't know, right?
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>> jimmy: i love this dude. i want him on the show every single night. i can't get enough. >> steve: pure energy. >> jimmy: he's just positive and funny. gosh, just love this guy. he's the emmy award winning host of "the steve harvey show." this is his new book called "jump." steve harvey is stopping by tonight. [ cheers and applause ] how do you not like that guy? he's a good dude. and we have great music tonight, oh my gosh, have you been getting compliments on this, quest? >> questlove: yeah. >> jimmy: questlove is -- produced this with lin-manuel miranda and tariq. [ cheers and applause ] and i'm on it. i make an appearance on it. >> questlove: you're on it. >> jimmy: i may have -- or may not have played the track 30 times. just to try to get my count up on spotify. [ laughter ] exactly. i just want the popularity. everybody's looking at the jimmy fallon song. yeah right. it is the greatest -- all the work that went into this, congratulations, man.
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we have music from the "hamilton mixtape" tonight. [ cheers and applause ] are you doing my shot? >> questlove: yeah. >> jimmy: busta -- is busta is here? [ cheers and applause ] >> questlove: busta rhymes, yes he's here. >> jimmy: busta rhymes is here? [ cheers and applause ] >> questlove: he is. >> jimmy: what more could you want? >> steve: what more do you want? >> jimmy: what a great show. hey, guys, i read something that really disturbed me recently. >> steve: what's that? >>immy: american kids are ranked 30th in the world in terms of math skills. >> steve: ugh. >> jimmy: nobody seems to know how to turn this around. i think the problem is that today's kids just can't relate to old-fashioned things like numbers. [ laughter ] so, we've updated math to make equations more about modern stuff that kids can relate to in a segment called popular mathematics. check it out. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ popular mathematics mathematics ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ popular mathmatics
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you understand the bit? >> steve: no, i do not. >> jimmy: all right, let me tell you. [ laughter ] here's the first equation here. if you take an iguana. >> steve: sure. >> jimmy: you -- plus coca-cola, equals iggy pop. [ laughter ] do you see what i'm saying? do you understand? >> steve: almost. >> jimmy: almost? let me give you another example here. >> steve: give me another one, please. >> jimmy: if you take the grinch's smile -- >> steve: sure. >> jimmy: plus the lorax's hair, it equals donald trump. [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] you see what i'm getting at? >> steve: almost. >> jimmy: if you take mitt romney -- >> steve: mitt romney! >> jimmy: plus two sips of beer. >> steve: two sips of beer! >> jimmy: it equals lit romney. [ laughter and applause ] whoa, whoa, whoa. [ applause ] >> steve: macarena? i understand the macarena. >> jimmy: if you take an office party -- >> steve: office party. >> jimmy: plus mistletoe. >> steve: okay. >> jimmy: it equals the hr department. [ laughter ] it's just a bad idea. just don't do it. it's a bad idea. no. here's another one. if you take ron weasley -- >> steve: ron weasley, yes. >> jimmy: plus a bakery.
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>> steve: ron weasley, bakery. >> jimmy: it equals a ginger bread man. [ laughter ] a gingerbread man. >> steve: that's making a a little more sense. the fog is lifting. >> jimmy: if you take kevin james >> steve: kevin james. >> jimmy: plus snoop dogg. >> steve: snoop dogg. >> jimmy: it equals james blunt. do you see what i'm saying? [ cheers ] do you get the idea of it, at least? >> steve: i at least get it's some sort of mathematics without numbers. >> jimmy: if you take neil armstrong -- >> steve: love neil armstrong. >> jimmy: add a lawn mower -- >> steve: sure. >> jimmy: plus mike tyson -- >> steve: yep -- >> jimmy: it equals neil degrasse tyson. [ laughter and applause ] ♪ >> steve: hey-oh! don't kneel on de' grass. >> jimmy: finally -- >> steve: one more example and i think i'll have it. >> jimmy: if you take mr. t -- >> steve: mr. t! >> jimmy: plus an animated gif, it equals tgif. there you go right there! [ cheers and applause ] that's all the time we have for popular mathematics. we'll be right back with more of "the tonight show." [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: it's time to play "tonight show family feud." give it up for steve harvey! [ cheers and applause ] >> mr. fallon, how are you? questlove, what's up, man? thank you, folks. [ cheers and applause ] all right. let's do it. yeah. all right. well. [ cheers and applause ] well, how's everybody doing? [ cheers and applause ] well, folks, welcome to "the tonight show family feud." i'm your man, steve harvey. [ cheers and applause ] all right. we got a good one for you tonight, everybody. from philadelphia, p.a., it's the roots family. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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i like that. i like that, boys. that looks like the victory pose there. and from, well, i don't -- i don't know where they're from. it's the 20th century women family! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] all right. it's time to play "feud." give me jimmy, give me questlove. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] all right, fellas, let's go. we got the top four answers are on the board. here we go. we surveyed "the tonight show" audience for this. [ cheers and applause ] name an animal that some people sound like when they laugh. [ "family feud" ring ] >> jimmy: i'm going to say a a hyena. [ cheers ] >> a hyena. [ ding ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm
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talking about. >> you gonna pass or play, jimmy? >> jimmy: huh? >> pass or play? >> play! let's keep racking up some points. >> they're going to play. >> jimmy: we're going to play, absolutely. [ cheers ] >> now, folks, here's another thing you have to keep in mind. we're only playing with two strikes. [ audience oohs ] hi, annette. >> hi. >> love you, darling, for real. name an animal that some people sound like when they laugh. >> a parrot. [ laughter ] i'm really sorry. >> jimmy: wow. good a -- no, that's good. that was fine. [ laughter ] >> polly want a cracker. >> a parrot. [ buzzer ] >> jimmy: ooh, all right. no problem. there's only one strike. >> greta. greta, only one strike but you only get two, and then we go over there, and i promise you, they don't know this one. [ laughter ] greta, name an animal that some people sound like when they laugh. >> a cat. a cat. [ laughter ]
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meow, meow, meow. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what's up? all good? >> which one was that? >> meow, meow, meow. [ laughter ] >> do it again. >> jimmy: meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. it's very common. it's very common. that has got to be up there somewhere. that's got to be up there. >> oh, that has got to be up there somewhere. you do it. you do it. >> meow, meow. [ laughter ] >> all right. >> jimmy: absolutely. [ talking over each other ] >> a cat. [ buzzer ] [ audience aws ] >> jimmy: oh, all right. >> all right. quest and the roots, it's your chance to win it, man. y'all can steal it. name an animal that some people sound like when they laugh. >> questlove: we are going to go with horse. >> good answer, good answer. [ applause ] >> let me hear it.
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>> tariq: me? >> yeah, let me hear it, the horse laugh. [ imitates horse whinny ] [ laughter ] >> wait. oh, wait. [ applause ] come on, tariq, do it one more time. [ imitates horse whinny ] [ laughter ] >> meow, meow, meow. [ imitates horse whinny ] >> come on, quest, you do it. yeah. come on, jay. [ oinking ] [ laughter ] [ applause ] you're a damn musician. how you can't make a sound? you're musicians. you play by ear. give me the horse. [ imitates horse whinny ] there it is. thank you very much. it's a horse! [ cheers and applause ] all right. ♪ all right, let's see what the remaining answers were. number four. [ ding ] >> donkey. >> number two. [ ding ] >> all: pig. >> wow. that was good. hey, let's go to question two. give me annette benning. give me tariq trotter.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] all right, guys, here we go. name a part of the body that often itches. [ "family feud" ring ] >> feet. [ laughter ] >> your feet. [ buzzer ] annette? >> nose. >> your nose. [ ding ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah! >> pass or play? i'm pretty sure we're gonna play. >> jimmy: let's play, yeah. here we go. >> all right. greta. >> yes? >> your chance to redeem yourself. cat laugh. name a part of the body that often itches. >> my ankles. [ laughter ]
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>> no. this is -- you're giving embarrassing answers. [ laughter ] some of your answers are going to have to have a possibility of being up here. >> doesn't anybody else's ankles itch? >> no. who ankles just itch? >> come on. right? that's like prime mosquito territory. >> that's prime mosquito territory. >> yeah. >> okay. well, that's true. let's see if it's up there. >> jimmy: great point. [ laughter ] [ buzzer ] >> jimmy, you got one strike, only one left. you got to be careful. the roots family can steal. name a part of the body that often itches. say it. >> jimmy: what are testicles? [ laughter ] >> testicles. [ ding ] [ cheers and applause ] all right.
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nice save. annette, only one strike. one more, they can steal. be careful. name a part of the body that often itches. >> your butt. [ cheers and applause ] >> this is a late night show, annette. let's go a little deeper than that. >> jimmy: here we go. >> what's the alternative late night show word, which is the show i want, name a part of your body that itches? >> your bottom. [ laughter ] did i go the other direction? >> jimmy: no, no, no it's great. >> this is a christian lady right here. [ light laughter ] she went from butt to bottom. one more time, annette. >> your ass. >> yes! [ cheers and applause ] >> your ass! [ ding ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: fantastic! >> that was great. >> jimmy: i love it. just go with it. [ laughter ] >> you got a great career. you're acting, you're in movies. don't even worry about this.
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you are not going to get this. name a -- name another part of your body, other than annette's hard to reach ankle, that often itches. >> your scalp. your head. >> wow. [ cheers and applause ] wow. >> right? >> that has possibility. your scalp. [ ding ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hey, let's go to our third round and final question. ♪ this is a tie breaker. give me greta. give me james. ♪ all right. this is a tie breaker. this is the last round. this is worth triple the points, so it's anybody's game. someone could win it here. >> jimmy: come on, greta, you can do it. >> come on, greta. >> come on, greta. this is like -- this could be like the first thing that comes to your mind. [ laughter ] name a song that has the word "christmas" in the title.
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[ "family feud" ring ] >> "wish you a merry christmas." >> i wish you a merry christmas. [ ding ] ooh. [ cheers and applause ] >> two answers can top it though. >> "all i want for christmas is you." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: not you, steve. that's the name of the song. >> oh. >> jimmy: the name of the song. >> i was looking at her trying to work that out. "all i want for christmas is you." [ ding ] >> jimmy: we won! [ cheers and applause ] we won, we won, we won! >> you got to guess all the others. you don't get the points yet. >> jimmy: we had to get number one, we did it, right? >> no, that ain't how the -- hey, man. hey, listen. you ain't the only one on tv, jimmy. [ light laughter ] there are other shows. let us people with lesser numbers win. give us a -- [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: you know what i'm talking -- please, give me a a break. you own -- you rule television right now, my friend.
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>> thank you, sir, thank you. [ laughter ] >> okay, jimmy, here we go. name a song that has the word "christmas" in the title. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "do they know it's christmas." >> what? >> jimmy: "do they know it's christmas?" [ light laughter ] >> "do they know it's christmas?" that's -- that's a song? "do they know it's christmas?" >> jimmy: it's a lot of -- yeah. do they know it's -- there's a a lot of -- >> i'll check with the black dude. [ laughter ] "do they know it's christmas?" [ buzzer ] >> jimmy: i don't know why i did that. >> only one strike. annette, we need one strike or they get a chance to steal. you can do it, though. annette, name a song that has the word "christmas" in the title. >> "all i want for christmas is my two front teeth." >> "all i want for christmas is my two front teeth." [ buzzer ] [ audience ohs ] questlove. >> questlove: what's up? >> this could win the
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championship. this is all or nothing. >> questlove: uh-huh. >> this is on the line. if you can pull this out, you steal, your team wins the game. quest, this is your shot. name a song that has the word "christmas" in the title. >> questlove: "white christmas." [ cheers and applause ] >> white. >> questlove: white. >> say it one more time. >> questlove: white. >> "white christmas." >> questlove: "white christmas." >> i'm dreaming -- >> questlove: dreaming of a a white -- >> christmas. [ laughter ] none of my family coming over. [ laughter ] "white christmas." [ ding ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ we have a champ. we have a winner. it's the questlove and the roots family, man. [ cheers and applause ] we'll see you next time on the feud. thanks, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are joined right now by a multiple golden globe award-winning actress. she's currently on the big screen in a big movie called "rules don't apply." starting christmas day, her new film, "20th century women," will open in new york and los angeles. please welcome the immensely talented annette bening! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi. welcome back to the show. >> hey, great to be back. >> jimmy: you look gorgeous, and thank you for playing "family feud" with me. >> it was so fun. >> jimmy: we made a great team.
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>> my parrot answer was pathetic. >> jimmy: no, i had -- [ laughter ] i had bad answers. i mean, i get nervous. >> i do too. >> jimmy: that's what makes the game fun, "family feud." >> naturally. >> jimmy: but i think the roots won. congratulations to them. yeah. [ cheers and applause ] great. yeah. well because you know -- you've been on the show tonight. you know i enjoy winning. >> you do. you're very competitive. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: we had fun last time you were here. we played a little game -- >> we did. i found myself getting extremely competitive. i know it was supposed to be just fun, but i really wanted to beat you. >> jimmy: i think you were throwing thing at me last time. >> was i? >> jimmy: were you? >> would i do that? >> jimmy: would i? yeah. [ laughter ] we were playing flip cup. a fun game of flip cup and you almost beat me and then last minute, i won. [ laughter ] >> you did win. >> jimmy: yeah, i did. yeah. i really did. >> kind of hurt me. >> jimmy: yeah. kind of hurt your feelings there. [ laughter ] no, but your son tweeted at me and said, the family honor has to be restored. i will beat you at flip cup and avenge my mom.
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[ laughter ] >> all right. >> jimmy: that's how serious it got. >> good kid. >> jimmy: yeah, good kid. yeah. [ cheers and applause ] let's talk about your movies. "rules don't apply" is out right now. you can go see that. and your husband was here, who directed that masterfully, and it was great. and now, "20th century women." congratulations on this one. >> thank you. >> jimmy: this one's fun as well. >> thank you. >> jimmy: great cast. >> great cast. yeah, greta was here. >> jimmy: greta gerwig. we love greta. and we have elle fanning, billy crudup. >> yes. >> jimmy: he was here the other night. couldn't say more nice things. well, no one has anything bad to say about him. he loved working with you so much. >> it was amazing. it was really a joy. we were a really close company and mike mills who directed it really made that happen between us so it was a -- >> jimmy: great. >> it was a joy. >> jimmy: and he wrote it as well, mike mills? >> he wrote it. it takes place in santa barbara in 1979. it's very much from his life. >> jimmy: wow. and your son. i don't know this actor. >> his name is lucas. >> jimmy: yeah. he's fantastic. >> incredible. >> jimmy: oh my god, you'll be hearing about this kid. >> yes. absolutely. >> jimmy: i really -- you had
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to smoke a lot in the film. >> i did. >> jimmy: are you a smoker in real life? >> i'm not a smoker. i used to be, and when i smoked in movies, i sort of secretly loved it when i had to smoke a a lot. [ laughter ] now i don't smoke so they have herbal cigarettes that we smoke that look pretty real and they're made out of chamomile and so we just smoke like crazy. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, but you don't get that buzz from it or anything. >> no buzz. >> jimmy: i can't smoke. i tried smoking. >> i know, yeah. >> jimmy: i'm awful. >> yeah, no. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i tried. i really went for it. and like, me and my friend bought a pack of cigarettes, which is a stupid thing to do. kids, don't do this. [ light laughter ] but we had heard about this thing where you light a a cigarette and put it between your arms. you ever heard of this? >> wow. >> jimmy: and whoever pulls your arm away first is a wimp. [ laughter ] of course, it's the stupidest thing ever. like two idiots going, oh my god. we just stayed like that until the cigarette went out. >> oh my god. >> jimmy: neither one of us pulled away. >> wow. >> jimmy: yeah, we're real tough guys. [ laughter ] >> give it a try? >> jimmy: really smart people. but i could never get into it. i thought it would be cool. i can't. but he pulled it off. that's the thing with acting
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where i go, i couldn't do that. >> so much part of mike's mom in life she really smoked a a lot, so he would then -- the character is sort of based on his mom. so, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. what cigarettes were they? are they kools? >> they're a brand made in england, i think they're called honeysuckle. >> jimmy: oh, stop. >> but we faked it. they're supposed to be salems. >> jimmy: what a cute name. [ laughter ] honeysuckle. i mean, come on, for cigarettes. i want to show everyone a clip here. this is great. this is annette bening and elle fanning in the new film, "20th century women." opens in new york city and los angeles christmas day. check this out. >> you're good at hiding stuff, huh? >> my mom calls it compartmentalizing. apparently i do that a lot. >> are you helping him? >> i'm trying. >> really? >> what about you?
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have you thought about your impact on him? it's always about the mother. do you think you've moved on since his dad? >> you know that you're not actually a therapist. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you were great. you're fantastic. congrats on all the buzz. oh, you're the greatest. annette bening, "20th century women" opens nationwide january 20th. new york and l.a. on christmas. steve harvey joins us after the break. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ hi. how can i help? ♪
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lift up your head and keep moving or let the paranoia haunt you? everybody lack confidence, everybody lack confidence i keep my fee-fi-fo-fum i keep my heart undone the strong in me, i still smile.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is the emmy award winning host of the very popular daytime talk show, "steve harvey." he's also a best-selling author. this is his brand-new book titled "jump: take the leap of faith to achieve your life of abundance." it's available right now. please welcome the multitalented, the always entertaining, steve harvey!
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: that's good. come on. that's got to feel good, right? >> that's good love. i like that. >> jimmy: that feels good, right? yeah, absolutely. [ cheers and applause ] >> that's good. >> jimmy: you're the best, man. i love you. and i -- i do. you feel me? >> i believe that, man. >> jimmy: yeah, no, i do. i mean it. >> i love you too, jimmy. >> jimmy: i really do. did i tell you this last time? i was in the icu for a couple days because i hit my finger and i looked forward to seeing you every day because there's nothing on tv that makes you laugh, makes you feel good. yeah, i would watch you and -- thank you so much. >> i make sick people want to stay in the hospital. [ laughter ]
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that's a rare talent, folks. most people want to go home. i got people checking in. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is your birthday coming up? >> yeah, man, january 17. i'll be 60. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you look fantastic! >> i know. i know. >> jimmy: you know you look good. yeah, yeah. >> i know. just go on and take it all in. i know. >> jimmy: any goals? >> a little bit more, there it is. >> jimmy: any goals for 60? >> yeah, at 60, i want to have a six pack. that was my goal. [ light laughter ] i want to have a six pack. >> jimmy: okay. >> yeah, not going to happen. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no. it's not good. >> i have it. >> jimmy: it's in there. >> i have it. you seen that muscle on them dudes where you see them taking the pictures and they have that muscle that goes down into their underwear, that line? >> jimmy: yeah. >> i have that too. >> jimmy: you do? >> i had to dig for it, but it's there. [ laughter ] and then when i find it, it hurts. [ laughter ] when i find it -- >> jimmy: if you can find it, yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it hurts a little bit. >> i'm digging too hard. >> jimmy: that's too deep.
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absolutely, yeah. well, i read a lot of -- a lot of the great stories in this book, "jump." a lot of them about getting your start and actually not actually living well but getting out of that situation. one of them, we didn't talk about, but you hosted the miss universe pageant last year. [ laughter ] >> when you say it and then you chuckle behind it, what am i supposed to take from that? [ laughter ] because you said you hosted the miss universe, ha ha. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: let me do it again. you hosted the miss universe pageant, meow, meow. [ laughter ] meow, meow, meow. meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: no. and here's the way i remember it happening. at the end, you were about to announce the drum roll's gone and you go and the miss universe is -- and you say miss -- >> miss colombia. >> jimmy: miss colombia. and then you go, i'm sorry, no, not true. and she freaked out. [ laughter ] she's like, oh my god. >> it didn't happen that quick. it wasn't that quick. it was a full minute of pure
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hell. what y'all talking about yeah? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they know, they know. >> that's what the audience -- it was longer than that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's about five minutes, steve. >> it was like hell up there. >> jimmy: what was it like? >> it was crazy, man, because look, i'm a smart guy, you know. i can read. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> i read the teleprompter. but the guy in my ear said, read the next name. now, the teleprompter just said, and the new 2 2015 miss universe is -- and he said, read the next name. now, now. i say miss colombia. crowd goes crazy. he goes, great job, steve. i go in the back. four minutes later, i hear a a lot of words that you can't say on tv. [ light laughter ] explicit, explicit, explicit, and they said, we said the wrong name. and then a guy said, what are we going to do? and the guy said, we'll straighten it out in the media tomorrow. and i said, no, man, i'm going
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to go do it now. and i walked out there. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i didn't -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how did you do that? >> why did i do it? >> jimmy: no, how did you do it? >> oh, i don't know, man. [ light laughter ] i don't know. i don't know what the hell i was thinking about. man, i was -- it was the most gut wrenching walk i've ever had in my life, and i went back out there, but you know, i was -- i was brought up that way, man, to kind of just face whatever it is. so i went out there and dealt with it, and i tried to straighten it out. and it was a family on the front row from colombia who was just cheering for me. when i walked out there and i said that. [ imitating spanish ] [ laughter ] i was getting cussed out in spanish so hard. >> jimmy: oh my gosh. >> so you know, the new one is in the philippines this year. they're actually doing miss universe in the philippines this year. >> jimmy: they are. and are -- you're going back? >> hell yeah, i'm going back. [ laughter ]
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[ cheers and applause ] well, i was one of the people that watched this video, and it's you talking to the audience, like i always talk to my audience in between commercial breaks and just asking questions, i talk to them. you were talking to the "family feud" audience after the show, and just giving advice. >> it was a moment, man. i was just having with the audience. i'm in the laugh business, right? we make people laugh. >> jimmy: yeah. >> that's our work. but after the show was over, i try to say something meaningful to people. i was just telling people that if you want to be successful, you have to jump. you know, you have to take a a leap of faith. you cannot live your life safely standing on that cliff and never jumping, man. if you do that, man, your life ain't going to be nothing, man. you're just going to be waking up existing, talking about, man, there's got to be more to my life than this. you know, i wrote in the book like on october 8th 1985, i walked in a comedy club for the first time. i've never been at a comedy club. i won amateur night, $50. i went to work the next day, quit my job.
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i jumped right away. wasn't the smartest jump. [ laughter ] what i discovered is, you know, when you first jump, the parachute don't open right away. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, that's good to know. >> yeah, you need to know that when you jump. the parachute don't open right away. >> jimmy: and you just hit rock? >> i mean, i became homeless for a period of time, you know, i struggled, but you know, home -- lived in a car for three years. but hell, i'm on the jimmy fallon "tonight show." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the parachute is open. >> it opened, baby. >> jimmy: the parachute opened. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. i love it. i love this book. steve harvey, everybody. check out the new book "jump." we'll be right back with a a performance from "the hamilton mixtape." stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guests are featured on "the hamilton
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mixtape," which is the number one album on itunes right now. [ cheers and applause ] performing "my shot," give it up for the roots, busta rhymes, and joell ortiz! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa ♪ ♪ ayo mugshot gun shot dope shot jump shot take your pick but you only get one shot ♪ ♪ advice from a schoolteacher to a young tot applyin' a sticker to his spiderman lunchbox ♪ ♪ when even role models tell us we're born to be felons ♪ ♪ we're never gettin' into harvard or carnegie mellon ♪ ♪ and we gon' end up either robbin' somebody or killin' it's not fair that's all they can tell us ♪ ♪ that's why i hustle hella hard never celebrate a holiday that'll be the day ♪ ♪ i coulda finally hit the lottery i refuse to ever lose
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or throw my shot away ♪ ♪ or chalk it up as just another one that got away so i'm unapologetic i'm on my calesthenics ♪ ♪ if i have given it all i got i cannot regret it ♪ ♪ my final destination's different from where i was headed ♪ ♪ 'cause i'ma shoot for the stars to get it one shot ♪ ♪ i'm not throwin' away my shot i said i'm not throwin' away my shot ♪ ♪ 'cause i'm just like my country young scrappy and hungry ♪ ♪ and i'm not throwin' away my shot i said i'm not throwin' away my shot ♪ ♪ no i'm not throwin' away my shot yo i'm just like my country young scrappy and hungry ♪ ♪ i'm not throwin' away my shot ♪ ♪ when opportunity knock you don't send anyone to get it ♪ ♪ answer the door welcome it let it in or regret it ♪ ♪ they said if you can't beat 'em you join 'em i said, "forget it" ♪ ♪ once you join 'em you're buildin' a ceilin' the way you're headed ♪ ♪ be american express how you feel and take the credit ♪ ♪ don't settle for 87 go premium unleaded and take off shake all the hate off ♪ ♪ it's over it's they loss the payoff's their weight off your shoulders ♪ ♪ must admit i'm feelin' um kinda um lighter as a writer with this fire and desire ♪ ♪ to go higher
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than a stealth fighter pilot with my eye on every prize ♪ ♪ i surprise you guys i'm a prize fighter my nine to five describe your scribe ♪ ♪ survive minor setbacks and take steps back from pied pipers ♪ ♪ be leaders believers in yourself and mean it ♪ ♪ i mean you only get one shot take it or leave it ♪ ♪ i'm not throwin' away my shot i said i'm not throwin' away my shot ♪ ♪ yo i'm just like my country i'm young scrappy and hungry ♪ ♪ and i'm not throwin' away my shot i said i'm not throwin' away my shot ♪ ♪ no i'm not throwin' away my shot ♪ ♪ i'm just like my country i'm young scrappy and hungry ♪ ♪ and i'm not throwin' away my shot ♪ ♪ it's time to rise up when you livin' on your knees you rise up ♪ ♪ tell your brother that we gotta rise up tell your sister that she's gotta rise up ♪ ♪ when are folks like me and you gonna rise up ♪ ♪ every city every hood we need to rise up all my soldiers what's good we need to rise up ♪ ♪ we ain't got no other choice we need to rise up rise up ♪ ♪ throughout my travels and journeys through life i've been searchin' ♪ ♪ and been learnin'
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to be the type of person to display how determined ♪ ♪ the type to feel that fire that's burnin' like a knife that is turnin' i fight while i'm hurtin' ♪ ♪ sometimes they're right 'cause life is a burden like the pain from a bite that'll worsen ♪ ♪ tryna stifle the light that'll shine on me first and before i ride in a hearse and my breathing stops and ♪ ♪ you'll never take my one shot i got 'fore i lie in the earth ♪ ♪ and now i come again on that hamilton hercules mulligan ♪ ♪ readin' in vanity fair or the huffington done with the sufferin' ♪ ♪ we in the guts again family rushin' in wonder where busta been ♪ ♪ feelin' the hunger and feedin' the lust to win see i've been patiently waitin'♪ ♪ for this moment to rise up again that's the way i was molded ♪ ♪ and as the last one standin' as the rest of them foldin' ♪ ♪ give me my one chance to grab the torch and properly hold it ♪ ♪ i'm not throwin' away my shot i'm not throwin' away my shot ♪ ♪ i'm just like my country i'm young scrappy and hungry and i'm not throwin' away my shot ♪ ♪ i'm not throwin' away my shot no i'm not throwin' away my shot ♪ ♪ i'm just like my country i'm young scrappy and hungry and i'm not throwin' away my shot ♪ ♪ it's time to take a shot ♪ ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh! that's what i'm talking about! the roots, busta rhymes, joell ortiz. [ cheers and applause ] "the hamilton mixtape" is out now! we'll be right back, everybody. stick around! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ p is for permission to indulge. o is for out of this world. l is for loving the seasonal cuisine. a is for access to everything, including the aisle. r is for reclining in tailor-made bedding. and i... must be dreaming. s... so long, jet lag. polaris, from united.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to annette bening, steve harvey, greta gerwig, busta -- busta -- busta rhymes, joell ortiz, and the roots, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow, bye-bye. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- kate mckinnon, from "star" actor benjamin bratt, music from the hold steady, featuring the 8g band with ace cunningham. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers, this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic. fantastic to hear. in that case let's get to the news. donald trump began his post election victory tour last week. meanwhile, hillary clinton has wandered so far into the woods she found the blair witch. [ light laughter ]

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