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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  September 28, 2017 11:34pm-12:38am PDT

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different look of today's rock slide. this is time lapsed video from the web cam from the park rangers. you can see the dust cloud kas dading down. one man was injured. north side drive will be closed tomorrow and maybe a couple days to clean up the debris but the entire park remains open. this is the height of rock climbing season. >> a little everybonerve wracki there. >> it sure will be. thanks for joining us at 11:00. we'll see you tomorrow. have a great day. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- harrison ford, rachel maddow, kid golfers, musical guest, charli xcx,
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and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 747, l.a. >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much, everybody. welcome. looking good. hot. that is a hot new york city crowd right there, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] welcome to "the tonight show." thank you very much for being here. well, here's what people are talking about. this week, president trump unveiled his new tax code, and he said that it will be simpler
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to understand. when asked how simple, he said, "even i can understand it. [ laughter and applause ] that's very simple, believe me." but trump is still saying the plan will simplify the country's tax code, and here's the plan's actual title -- this is real. the unified framework for fixing our broken tax code. [ light laughter ] this is to make the plan simpler. that's the title. [ light laughter ] that's actually a better title than some of the other ones he's considered. i'll show you what i mean. first it was the unified framework for fixing our broken tax code that only i can fix, believe me. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: believe me. >> jimmy: that was a little bit thick. he also thought about the unified framework for fixing our broken tax code that billions and billions of people tell me all the time is the brokenest tax code they've ever seen, sad! [ laughter and applause ] they didn't go with that, either. and finally he considered, the unified framework for fixing our broken tax code that no one noticed because i started a a fight with the nfl, nba, and north korea in one week! #sorrynotsorry. [ cheers and applause ] that was a long one. >> steve: yeah, that was a long one. >> jimmy: and despite the
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criticism it's gotten, trump says his tax plan is already getting tremendous reviews. and to prove it, trump actually released a video of the reviews. but i feel like there's a a little something strange about it. you be the judge. take a look. >> the reviews are in, and people can't stop talking about my new tax plan. >> oh my god, i loved -- >> trump's new tax plan. [ light laughter ] >> it was awesome and action packed. >> i usually can never drag her out to see -- >> my new tax plan. [ light laughter ] >> i didn't expect to like it, but -- >> trump's new tax plan -- >> was totally -- >> huge. >> harrison ford was absolutely incredible in this -- >> tax plan. >> he really was. everyone should check out -- >> "blade runner." i mean, tax plan. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. he screwed up. why would he say -- >> steve: trump made it. why would he say "blade runner"? >> jimmy: i don't know, i don't know. oh, this is nice. i saw that yesterday a little girl wore a pantsuit to hillary clinton's book signing in new york. >> steve: aw. >> jimmy: hillary was like, "that's so sweet. now are you going to buy a book or not? [ laughter and applause ] then get out of here." check this out, you guys. a musical based on cher's life will be coming to broadway next year.
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i don't know, i mean what are the chances you're going to find people who like both cher and broadway musicals? [ laughter and applause ] i mean, good luck with that. this is kind of weird. a woman in colorado says that after someone hit her car, they left an apology note and half a a joint. [ laughter ] got even weirder when he came back later and said, "did i accidentally leave my apology note here?" [ laughter and applause ] and finally, i read that a a 45-foot-tall statue of a nude woman will be placed next to the washington monument. which explains why the washington monument is like, "think about baseball, think about baseball, think about --" [ laughter and applause ] we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, everybody. welcome.
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just a reminder that next week is miley week here on "the tonight show." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ miley cyrus is going to be here every single night. we are going to be doing sketches, interviews, games. she's going to be performing every single night. she's doing -- maybe a surprise duet? >> steve: ooh. [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: maybe a couple surprise duets. >> steve: oooh. >> jimmy: it's going to be stuff off the new album "younger now" and also other surprises too. >> steve: ooh! >> jimmy: and -- [ laughter ] [ grunting ] a tiny bird -- >> steve: told you --? >> jimmy: no. birds can't talk. [ laughter ] but a tiny bird was in the office today and i got -- i safely captured it. [ light laughter ] and released it to the world. anyway, i got distracted. what i meant to say was, yeah, there's a rumor flying around the office that there might be a lip sync battle. >> steve: ooh. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i need some ideas.
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i need some ideas. >> questlove: some ideas? >> jimmy: i need some ideas. >> questlove: i'll come up with some ideas. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. anyway, miley cyrus, we love her. all next week. it's gonna be fun. [ cheers and applause ] but first, we have a fantastic show tonight. this guy is the coolest guy. we just love this guy. star of the new film "blade runner 2049," harrison ford is here. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: plus, she's our neighbor in the building and a a good friend of our show. the host of "the rachel maddow show" on msnbc, rachel maddow is stopping by tonight. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: she's crushing it. plus we have three talented kid golfers joining us, and i'm gonna challenge them to a fun game and there may be some surprise guests. [ cheers and applause ] we have great music from charli xcx right here. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "boys."
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[ cheers and applause ] [ light laughter ] [ cheers ] that's what it looks like. that's exactly what i look like. >> steve: that's what you look like. >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: except for the lines on the arms. >> jimmy: no, i got two tattoos on my arm. >> steve: did you really? >> jimmy: yeah. but this -- this song, "boys" -- here she is on the cover of "billboard" magazine, too. she -- the song, "boys" -- the video came out and 10 million views in 48 hours. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: it's a giant, giant song. anyways, charli's here tonight. i'm so psyched. it's going to be fun. [ cheers and applause ] charli xcx. guys, it is time for "tonight show" hashtags. here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ hashtags hashtags ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: guys, we do this thing every wednesday where i send out a hashtag and we ask you guys to respond to that topic. so since twitter is doubling their character limit this week -- they're doubling, so they're
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going 280 characters. yeah, that means people can share more than ever, so i sent out a hashtag called "that was too much information." [ light laughter ] and we asked you guys to send us funny, weird, or embarrassing stories about getting too much information. so we got a huge response. within 30 minutes, it was a a trending topic in the u.s. [ cheers and applause ] so thank you for playing the game with us. now i thought i'd share some of my favorite #thatwastmi stories from you guys. this first one's from @jeremyart. he says, "one time i called my mom and she asked, 'are you drunk dialing me?' i told her no and she said, 'well, i'm drunk answering.'" >> steve: hey oh! [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: this one's from @emilyscobee. she says, "the cashier once carded me and says, 'oh, your birthday's october second. that means your parents did it on new year's eve.'" >> steve: oh. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: this one's from @mexicansamoan. he says -- [ laughter ] right there is tmi almost.
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right there. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: that's tmi. yeah. tell me everything about him. he says, "one time a random guy using the urinal next to me told me he knew how to plan the perfect murder." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: don't want to piss that guy off. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this one's from @camdfish. she says, "a client on the phone once asked us to make a a birthday cake as ugly as possible 'because i hate this woman's guts.'" [ laughter and applause ] why even get her a cake? >> steve: why get her a cake, then? >> jimmy: i don't know, man. >> steve: give her a sock on the nose. >> jimmy: this is from @kejade? key-ah-day? >> steve: key-ah-day? >> jimmy: k-e-j-a-d-e. >> steve: could be key-yah-day? ke-jade?
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kej-dee? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: jaj. >> steve: jaj. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: it's pronounced jaj. she says, "my grandma told me she bought a dress for her funeral and she was going to give it a test run at my wedding." [ laughter ] thanks a lot. [ applause ] >> steve: you never know. >> jimmy: this one's from @cxoinsights. she says, "a woman sitting next to me at 'hamilton' told me that the key to avoiding long restroom lines at the theater was to wear an adult diaper." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: oh. ew. >> jimmy: can i change seats, please? [ light laughter ] this last one here is from @jeffreyhudson. he says, "my family was having a party and i offered my grandma more cake. she said, 'no, thanks, honey,' then winked at my grandpa and said, 'i'm going to have more cake later.'" >> steve: oh! [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: there you have it. those are our "tonight show" hashtags. to check out more of our favorites, go to tonightshow.com/hashtags. stick around. we'll be right back with more of "the tonight show,"
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everybody. harrison ford! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ the all new 2018 camry. toyota. let's go places. steal the spotlight in the new stevie. right now, get up to 50% off all pants and jeans at old navy. ♪ posting hashtag yeehaw.
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hashtag i have no signal and i still can't post out here. woah! look out, coming through. hey thomas. howdy there joy. see joy's got the new iphone with verizon unlimited. you bet i do. best phone, best network. america's largest, most reliable 4g lte network. she can post out here like she does in the city. hey twelve likes. what? likes won't get you didly around these parts. yaaw! nope you're going the wrong way (talking to his horse). when you really, really want the best, switch to verizon unlimited and get up to $300 off the new iphone.
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tourists and climbers. go to our website to see the chilling images of the debris flooding the valley floor. =add= also -- beefed up security at redwood highschool in larkspur. this after a report of graffiti in a bathroom saying there will be a shooting on campus. we )re tweeting updates.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. we are joined right now by three of the best junior golfers in the world. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome 5-year-old isaac riches. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: 8-year-old aidan dinani. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and 10-year-old madison momam right there. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome, welcome, welcome to the show. isaac, eyes up here, buddy. hi, i'm right here. isaac, where are you from and what grade are you in, buddy? >> i start kindergarten in 122 days, and i'm from australia. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: now isaac, i heard that when you make a good putt or a great shot you do something cool. what do you do again? >> the eagle. >> jimmy: the eagle. now what is -- can you show me what the eagle is? okay yeah. so, yeah. that's -- [ cheers and applause ]
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all right. stop with the eagle. that was the eagle. i'm sure your teammates love that. and who is your favorite -- who is your favorite golfer? >> jason day because he's an aussie like me. [ applause ] >> jimmy: there's -- that's right. there you go. he's an aussie -- did you ever meet him? did you ever meet him before? >> no, but if i did, i'd give him a big hug or a cuddle. [ audience aws ] >> jimmy: i wish i was jason day right now. hey, how are you buddy? aidan, now where are you from and what grade are you in? >> i'm in third grade and i'm from upland, california. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you just won the -- you just won a big tournament, didn't you? >> yeah. >> jimmy: how did you do in that one? >> i got first place. i shot six under, and won by three strokes. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's unbelievable. and who is your favorite golfer and why? >> jordan spieth because he wins like a lot. [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: jordan spieth, because he wins like a lot. yeah, okay, good. and there's our pal right here. madison. now, i heard that if you played a foursome with anybody, who would be your favorite foursome? >> it would be you, justin timberlake, and taylor swift because i love your show, and i love their music, and i thought it would just be cool to get you guys out for a round. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: give me a hug or cuddle. a hug or cuddle. that should have been your answer. okay. [ laughter ]. well, you're all great at golf. you know that, but how are you at skiball? okay? i've combined both, okay, for a a brand new game. it's called golf-skiball. there you go. [ light laughter ] now, the three of you will be a a team, okay, but i'm going to need two more players to join my team, and i think i found some good ones. they're in town to play the president's cup, which will be played at liberty national golf club just across the hudson river, and will air friday on golf channel and this weekend right here on nbc. please welcome two of the best golfers on the planet,
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jason day and jordan spieth. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: nice to meet you. >> how you doing man? >> jimmy: good to see you. [ laughter ]. >> how you doing bud? >> jimmy: how are you doing man? it's so good to see you. oh my gosh. did you meet jordan? did you say hi to jordan? >> man, i could use a hug too. >> jimmy: you can give him a a hug too if you want to, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] oh, boy. madison as well. all right. now, guys, here's the way it goes. the game works just like skiball. we're each going to take three shots on our turn. the team with the most points at the end wins, and i'm really competitive. [ light laughter ] isaac, why don't you go first and show us how it's done, buddy? [ cheers and applause ] >> go isaac. ♪ >> jimmy: alright, he lines up. that's good. oh wait. practice shot. two practice shots. okay. very good. he really wants to win. three practice shots? come on, isaac! [ cheers ] ♪ all right.
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all right. all right. very good. >> ten points. >> jimmy: all right, his first shot. here we go. got good form. ♪ >> going for the big shot. >> jimmy: alright isaac. pressure's on. pressure's on, isaac. come on. [ applause ] is it because i'm talking during your back swing? ♪ [ cheers ] oh, come on. that's insane. >> he's got good form, this guy. >> yeah, he's fantastic. >> jimmy: jason you want to show -- >> oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, show him. jason's going to go now. >> alright, alright, alright. >> jimmy: now, you've seen him chip before, right? yeah. of course. great shot. >> i haven't had a practice swing, so i better get something in. alright. >> jimmy: so he does, practice one. see he does one practice shot. [ light laughter ] >> oh no. [ indiscernible ] >> jimmy: that's good. that's good. that's good. that's a lot. ♪ >> oh no. >> jimmy: all right. this is all good. it's still good. >> oh. >> jimmy: that's fantastic! alright, that's great. we'll take it!
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[ cheers and applause ] aidan, aidan, you are up right now. aidan dinani right there. >> oh we've got a lefty. >> jimmy: oh, he's a lefty right there. >> great. >> jimmy: be careful. ♪ [ light laughter ] ♪ >> oh, good shot. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: oh! look at the form on these guys. ♪ >> oh. >> oh my goodness. >> all right. we're good. >> going for the big shot. >> alright jordan. >> okay. >> oh. >> jimmy: oh, going for the hundy up there. >> i actually wasn't. but -- ten. >> this is good. this is good. >> okay. i don't like that ball. there we go. >> jimmy: i need that one too. ♪ oh! ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> i think it's -- >> jimmy: yeah. no pressure madison. [ laughter ] ♪ oh! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> oh! >> jimmy: these guys are good, madison. >> yeah. ♪ >> jimmy: oh! [ cheers and applause ] thank you, madison. >> he's cheating. >> jimmy: let me show you how it's done. >> do not let us down. >> jimmy: here you go. no pressure. no pressure. i just want to give you a hug or cuddle. [ light laughter ] >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: just for good luck. alright, here we go. ready? no pressure.
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>> not sure if that's going to help, that cuddle, but -- ♪ >> jimmy: does this look right? >> it looks awkward. you just look really awkward right now. >> remember not to -- on your first swing. yeah. flex your knees. >> oh. >> jimmy: flex my knees? >> yeah. >> jimmy: don't talk during my backswing. come on. leave me alone. okay, flex my knees. >> hit it harder. >> jimmy: i'm hitting it -- what? >> hit it -- you talked in our back swing, so we can talk in yours. [ laughter ] come on. listen. [indiscernible ] [ cheers ] >> jimmy: here we go. ♪ >> for the win. ♪ >> that was a good swing. >> jimmy: all right, good. very good. very good. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> cheater. >> jimmy: whatever, whatever. okay. anyway, look. congratulations, guys. you guys -- you guys won. so we're going to give you guys some "tonight show" hoodies that we have right here. some sweatshirts. [ cheers and applause ]
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a couple sweatshirts. >> thank you. >> jimmy: there you go. that's for him. there you go, but there's actually one more surprise, guys. jason and jordan got you and your families vip passes to see them play in the president's cup this weekend. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ my thanks to aidan dinani, isaac riches, madison moman, jason day, and jordan spieth. [ cheers and applause ] watch these guys in the president's cup friday on golf channel, this weekend on nbc. harrison ford joins us after the break. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ it all started when sophia stopped into marshalls and found a mug for surprisingly little green. she paired that with some succulents. and suddenly something clicked. that surprise led to a stylish wood mirror, soothing lavender oils, a party llama... or is that an alpaca?
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super soft towels, and an enchanting vase that magically tied it all together. she arranged it all into the greatest guest bathroom ever. did sophia expect to get so much bang for so few bucks? no. but great things happen when you choose surprise. marshalls. your surprise is waiting. ♪ hungry eyes ♪ one look at you and i can't disguise ♪ ♪ i've got hungry eyes ♪ applebee's 2 for $20. now that's eatin' good in the neighborhood. dad: molly, can you please take out the trash? (sigh) ( ♪ ) dad: molly! trash! ( ♪ ) whoo! ( ♪ )
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mom: hey, molly? it's time to go! (bell ringing) class, let's turn to page 136, recessive traits skip generations. who would like to read? ( ♪ ) molly: i reprogrammed the robots to do the inspection. it's running much faster now. see? it's amazing, molly. thank you. ( ♪ ) and made it liberating. thank you. we took safe, and made it daring. we took intelligent, and made it utterly irresistible. we took the most advanced e-class ever, and made the most exciting e-class ever. the all-new e-class coupe from mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is an academy award nominated actor
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and a bona fide movie star. his new film, "blade runner 2049," opens in theaters and imax friday, october 6th. please welcome the one and only harrison ford, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is how you do it. harrison ford. >> we love you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: they love you. we love you. i love you. look at you on the cover of this magazine, a stud. this is -- this is my guy.
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[ cheers and applause ] movie star, stud, and i read a a lot of -- first of all, how are you? >> i'm fine, thank you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, good, are you? that's more than enough. more than enough. >> how are you? >> jimmy: i'm -- i'm great. i'm -- fantastic. >> you are. >> jimmy: thank you. >> you are fantastic. >> jimmy: i appreciate that. i learned a lot about you in this article. this is a great article. >> sorry. >> jimmy: no, it's been great. [ light laughter ] one thing i learned is that you -- this photo shoot, you wore your own clothes. you didn't wear any like, usually you get styled. usually, usually -- this is -- this is a magazine cover right here. [ laughter ] >> that's why i decided not to dress up tonight. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, i know, you look fantastic. but this is -- i learned that, that you wore your own clothes to the shoot, you did it. you were just like, whatever, man, i'm cool. and then you split -- you didn't say that but you just said it with your face. and then -- but then i also learned that you enjoy a glass of scotch and a good joke. >> that's in here? >> jimmy: yeah. >> is it really? >> jimmy: well, no, i made that up. but -- i think -- i wrote it on your wikipedia page. but -- [ laughter ]
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you know, do you -- is that true? do you enjoy it? >> i've got a new trust in -- in wikipedia. >> jimmy: exactly. >> never had that before. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah i'm really good at it. i can put in whatever you want. what is the scotch that you enjoy? because i think i got some scotch here. >> really? >> jimmy: i just don't know how -- >> oh, oh. [ laughter ] oh, i like this. >> jimmy: you do? now i don't know how -- >> i can't pronounce it but -- no, i know how to pronounce it because i drunk --i -- [ laughter ] i had a little bit of it in a a movie that i made, and it's called bruichladdich. >> jimmy: bruichladdich. that sounds very, very --it's scottish. >> it is, of course, it's a a scotch whisky. >> jimmy: scotch whiskey. well, i'm just -- well, i have a little -- a a little here for both of us. yeah. >> oh, man, wow. >> jimmy: maybe like, pour a a little, on the little -- >> you okay? >> jimmy: yeah, i think we're allowed to do it. i mean, you're harrison ford. [ cheers and applause ] we're allowed to do whatever we want to do. >> not okay with you, okay with
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my wife. >> jimmy: oh yeah, sorry. yeah, you have to worry about that. yeah. calista, please. give him two -- let him hang, have one beverage. come, on. >> it's been a long day, honey. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. [ cheers ] cheers. >> forgive me, cheers. thank you. >> jimmy: good to see you, pal. >> well, thank you. good to see you. thank you. oh. >> jimmy: good to say -- scotch. stop the music -- i have a -- i'm trying to think of a good joke, because i'm not really -- i don't want to say i'm not good at telling jokes but i'm not -- i make a living out of it. but -- >> are you canadian? >> jimmy: no. >> no, i'm just asking because there's so many canadians -- canadian humorists. >> jimmy: yeah. >> comedians, i just. >> jimmy: i know, a lot of people think i'm canadian, but i'm not. >> no, no, a -- a lot of people think you're a humorist. [ laughter ] well, i just think -- i think you're a fantastic host. thank you for having me. >> jimmy: thank you, but please --
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you know, i know. [ cheers and applause ] all right. this is good stuff. >> here, i got a joke. you want to go first? >> jimmy: i'll go first. i have a joke. so a guy -- a guy goes -- >> walks into a bar? >> jimmy: yeah. have you heard this already? [ laughter ] >> 90% of jokes start that way. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. a guy walks into a bar. >> yeah. >> jimmy: he gets -- he starts drinking, he gets wasted, throws up on himself. >> oh, yeah. okay. >> jimmy: he goes to the bartender and he goes, "i don't know what to do. i don't know what i'm going to tell my wife. i am in so much trouble." and the bartender goes, "here's what you do. do you have a $10 bill?" >> yeah. >> jimmy: "put it in your pocket and you -- you tell your wife that some drunk guy threw up on you and he gave you $10 for the dry cleaning, okay." >> oh, god. >> jimmy: "you paid $2 for the shirt so you almost made $8 and you're a genius and your wife will be like, oh, everything's fine." and he goes, "that's a great idea." so he goes home, his wife's in bed, she wakes up and he goes -- she goes, "honey what happened to you?"
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he goes, "i was at a bar and a a drunk guy threw up on me and he gave me $10 for the dry cleaning bill." and she goes, "but honey, this is a $20 bill." he goes, "he also [ bleep ] my pants." [ laughter and applause ] ♪ not bad. [ cheers and applause ] they liked it. that's not the worst joke. >> second apology of the night to my wife. [ laughter ] i didn't know when i came here -- >> jimmy: i'll give -- i'll give you -- >> what i was getting myself into. >> jimmy: i'll give you $20 on the way out, you know. >> so there's this ice fisherman and he's got his little stool and he's got his line, and he's got his saw and he's cutting a hole in the ice and he hears this voice behind says, "there are no fish under the ice." [ light laughter ]
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so he moves over ten feet. he starts cutting another hole through the ice. and he hears, "there are no fish under the ice." "is that you, god?" and the voice says, "no, it's the ice rink manager." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] guy goes into a bar. >> jimmy: okay. >> never mind. >> jimmy: i want to talk to you about "blade runner." have you ever heard of the -- have you ever seen the original? >> about -- it's about time. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you and ryan gosling, good combo.
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>> ryan gosling and me. >> jimmy: sorry, ryan gosling and you. yeah. i heard that you -- you punched him in one scene by mistake or maybe -- i mean. >> in one scene. >> jimmy: did you punch ryan gosling in the face? >> i -- i threw 80 punches. 79 of them missed him. [ light laughter ] which is the way you're supposed to do it in a movie. >> jimmy: but what do you do them? what do you do after you hit your costar in the face, especially -- >> you walk over to his trailer with this and said -- you say -- >> jimmy: tell a joke. >> what a -- can i apologize? and he says, "well, sure, i mean, it's no --" "please, let me apologize." and you go like this. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and then you turn around and you take the bottle back to your -- [ laughter ] back to your trailer. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. that -- that makes more sense. >> and he -- and he starts
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bitching about it and you hear it all over town >> jimmy: all over town, that you punched -- >> that you only gave him a a drink and you punched him in the --. >> jimmy: yeah, but he's -- what -- he's a professional actor. >> he can take it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so you see, we see -- well, this is really good stuff, by the way. >> it really is. >> jimmy: and i just want to say is that you're my best friend. [ laughter ] i love you, man. i love you, man. you know you're my best friend. you need to know it. you need to know, you're my best friend, man. >> hey, i'll settle for $10. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i want to show a a clip. here's harrison ford and ryan gosling in "blade runner 2049." take a look at this. >> what are you doing here? >> i heard the piano. >> don't lie. it's rude.
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you're a cop. >> i'm not here to take you in. >> oh yeah? then why? >> i just had some questions. >> jimmy: yes. [ cheers and applause ] and you will answer all those questions. harrison ford, everybody. "blade runner 2049" hits theaters and imax october 6th. we'll be right back with rachel maddow, everybody. stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪watch this ♪ ♪watch this ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are joined right now by a "new york times" best-selling author and host of the number one show in cable news, "the rachel maddow show," which airs weeknights at
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9:00 p.m. on msnbc. say hello to rachel maddow, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back, welcome back. >> thank you very much. >> jimmy: thank you for coming to see us. >> i love it here. >> jimmy: we love having you here. would you like any of -- harrison ford left his scotch here. >> did he seriously? >> jimmy: would you like to have a sip? >> yeah. i mean, is that weird. >> jimmy: no. he's a legend. >> because there's not even any chap stick marks, or anything. right? >> jimmy: he doesn't wear chap stick. he doesn't wear lipstick, yeah. do you have a -- do you have a joke? >> oh. >> jimmy: we told jokes. >> what did the fish say when it swam into the wall? >> jimmy: what? >> dam. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: nice. that's good. it's clean. it gets right in there. it's clean. >> dam. >> jimmy: i love it. rachel, we always have a nice cocktail when you're here so i appreciate this.
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>> great. i didn't know this was coming. this is wonderful, yeah. >> jimmy: not bad right? i still can't pronounce it, and neither can harrison, but it's like bruichladdich. >> bruichladdich. >> jimmy: you know, bruichladdich? >> i don't know. [ laughter ] i can say it. >> jimmy: i want to get into some stuff here -- >> okay. >> jimmy: and you're the best person to talk to about this. what can we make, or what do you make of all the tweets about the nfl, or the president's talking about all this stuff? what is all -- what's happening? >> i think there's obviously, you can get into the substance of what he was trying to do there. i think there's two things that have been -- that are sort of worth appreciating about him doing that. one is that this was not a a spontaneous outburst by the president where he was supposed to be talking about other things, but couldn't contain himself, and had to get this off his chest. this was paired with a -- an advertising campaign by a pac that supports him. it was followed up immediately by a fund-raising effort where the rnc sent out a notice telling people they should send money if they stand with donald trump on the nfl. this wasn't just like him
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popping off on twitter. he decided he was going to make a racially divisive issue out of something going on in sports, they planned on it, they built a whole campaign around it, and then he launched it, and so i sometimes feel like he gets away with this stuff a little bit because people assume that he did it without thinking. this is a planned-out thing. other people were involved in deciding to do this. that creeps me out about it. the other thing is that whether or not you care about what he thinks about the nfl, it's slightly outrageous that he spent the entire weekend tweeting about the nfl while puerto rico was drowning. before he could say a thing about what was happening there. three and a half million americans in puerto rico, and the president was really preoccupied with trying to make a racial issue out of the nfl while he wasn't doing anything about that. and that, i think, is going to stick, and i think that's going to be in -- that's going to be in his history, no matter what else he does.
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>> jimmy: man, it's just so sad to watch. i feel like helpless watching puerto rico, and i -- i'm donating to whatever charities we can -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: but it's just like -- >> well, i mean, definitely donating to legit relief efforts matters, and puerto rico's going to need a a lot of help for a long time, but this isn't over. i mean, the crisis is real. we're eight days into this for the island, and it really seems like the problem is not that there aren't relief supplies, or that there aren't people who want to help, or who are trying to help. it's that it's just not organized. i mean there's something like 9,000 shipping containers full of food, and water, and medical supplies sitting in the port of san juan, and nobody's organized an effort to get that stuff out of the port, and on to the streets, and into the communities that need it. so it's not that there hasn't been a response. it's just been a bad, inept, poorly run, inattentive response with no political leadership, and a president who doesn't appear to care about it, and that is a manmade disaster.
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yeah, this was a storm, but the response is a politically-led catastrophe by a president who really doesn't seem to care, and that -- i mean, puerto rico -- puerto rico doesn't have another president, right, who's going to fix this. the president for puerto rico is donald trump. he's all they've got to lead this, and it's -- it's a -- a, it's not over, and b, the disorganization is a human failure. >> jimmy: how do you not have gray hair from doing your show? because there's -- >> oh. yeah. >> jimmy: so many -- there's so many things to discuss. i wanted to say, regarding your show, you're doing such a great job. you always have, but it's just i think you're just in your groove right now -- >> oh, thank you. >> jimmy: and your show is -- you tripled your audience. i mean, it's giant. >> really? >> jimmy: yeah, i was reading about it today. >> good. >> jimmy: i think that's true. yeah. i know you have, yeah. yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i mean, yeah, but does it feel different? does the show feel different? do you feel different? [ laughter ] no, i'm sorry to put -- >> i know. i know. >> jimmy: now i'm putting
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pressure -- you're like whoa, wait. the amount of people -- >> i don't think about it, really. i mean -- >> jimmy: like, when you walk down the street, do more people go like, great job or hey, what's up. do you feel it. >> i have a special bond with taxi drivers, i will admit, but even i'm like -- >> jimmy: the just get into a a big political conversation with you. >> like, like, you know -- taxi drivers, you get in the cab in new york, and the cab drivers just like spin the globe, it really can be from anywhere. >> jimmy: yeah. >> if there's a brand-new country that was only born three weeks ago, you will have a cab driver from that country this month. [ laughter ] like it will happen. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and like i -- something happens. i get into a cab, and it's like as soon as i make eye contact, no matter where that dude is from, like burkina faso, i'm on there, really? your mom watches me there? >> jimmy: yeah. >> so that's always been awesome, but in terms of more people watching, i just -- i don't know. you can't get on tv every night, and think, like, oh, there are millions of people watching me. you can't have that in your head when you do it, or it just freezes you up. you know? >> jimmy: yeah. sure yeah. well, i think you're doing such a great job, and obviously they agree too, and thank you so much. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: i always love having you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: cheers. >> cheers.
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can i take this? >> jimmy: yes, you can take that. rachel maddow, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] weeknights at 9:00 on msnbc. charli xcx performs after the break. stick around, everybody! it's not bad002e [ cheers and applause ] ♪ with 33 individual vertebrae and 640 muscles in the human body no two of us are alike. life made more effortless through adaptability. the perfect position seat in the lincoln continental. ♪ steal the spotlight in the new stevie. right now, get up to 50% off all pants and jeans at old navy.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: she is a two-time grammy-nominated singer and
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songwriter whose highly-anticipated new album is out next year. performing "boys," please welcome charli xcx. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ i was busy thinking bout boys boys boys ♪ ♪ i was busy dreaming bout boys boys boys ♪ ♪ head is spinning thinking bout i need that bad boy to do me right m ♪ on a friday and i need that good one to wake me up on a sunday that one from work ♪ ♪ can come over on monday night i want em all i want em all ♪ ♪ and when they finally leave me i'm all alone boy ♪ ♪ i'm looking down and all my girls are blowing my phone up them twenty questions ♪ ♪ they asking me where i'm at didn't hit em back no no ♪ ♪ i'm sorry that i missed your party i wish i had a better excuse ♪ ♪ like i had to trash
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the hotel lobby but i was busy ♪ ♪ thinking bout boys boys boys i was busy dreaming ♪ ♪ bout boys boys boys head is spinning thinking ♪ ♪ bout in every city i got one with different ringtones flying from l.a. ♪ ♪ all the way to puerto rico my girls are calling me asking me where i'm at didn't hit em back ♪ ♪ no no i'm sorry that i missed your party i wish ♪ ♪ i had a better excuse i can't even lie you got me i was busy thinking bout boys ♪ ♪ boys boys i was busy dreaming bout boys ♪ ♪ boys boys head is spinning
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thinking ♪ ♪ but don't be mad don't be mad at me darling i can't stop it even if i wanted ♪ ♪ don't be mad don't be mad at me missed what you were saying i was miles away ♪ ♪ don't be mad don't be mad it's not like i had a choice i was busy thinking bout boys ♪ ♪ boys boys i was busy dreaming ♪ ♪ bout boys boys boys i was busy ♪ ♪ boys boys boys i was busy dreaming ♪ ♪ bout boys oh baby yeah ♪ ♪ head is spinning thinking bout boys ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh! charli xcx, come on! great job everybody. charli xcx!
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"boys" is out now. we'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to harrison ford, rachel maddow, jordan spieth, jason day. charli xcx once again. [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ ♪ ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- jennifer hudson. from "curb your enthusiam," actor and comedian, jeff garlin. author, jesmyn ward. featuring the 8g band with gregg bissonette. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meys. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. white house press secretary, sarah huckabee sanders today said there isn't anything to clarify about trump's position on nfl players kneeling during the national anthem, because the

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