tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC April 12, 2018 12:37am-1:38am PDT
♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- john krasinski, star of nbc's "good girls" actress, retta, music from james bay, featuring the 8g band with gil sharone. ♪ ladies and gentlemen, seth mers. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. house speaker paul ryan announced today that he will not seek re-election, i believe his exact words were, squeak, squeak, squeak. [ light laughter ]
house speaker paul ryan announced today he will not seek re-election to spend more time with his family. so now his family are the ones asking for thoughts and prayers. [ laughter ] according to reports, facebook founder mark zuckerberg sat on a four inch thick cushion to boost his height during his senate testimony yesterday. said zuckerberg, "oh, no, that's my wallet." [ laughter and applause ] that's right, mark zuckerberg sat on a four inch thick cushion during his senate testimony yesterday. "there was a cushion," said jeff sessions. [ cheers and applause ] "i find it very, very inappropriate that only some people are getting cushions." [ light laughter ] the white house said today that deputy national security advisor nadia schadlow is resigning. this is how bad it's getting in
the trump administration, the first time you even hear somebody's name is when they resign. [ laughter ] so long, nadia, we'll miss your characteristics that you probably have. president trump today criticized special counsel robert mueller's investigation saying there is quote, "no collusion or obstruction other than i fight back." hold on, no obstruction other than i fight back? fighting back against an investigation is obstruction. [ laughter ] that's like saying no infidelity other than i sleep with porn stars. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] only trump would try to obstruct justice and confess to it in the same tweet. vice president mike pence will depart for south america tomorrow while president trump will visit chili. [ laughter and applause ] cracker barrel is launching a
new ad campaign to attract younger customers, they're hoping to go from this to this. [ light laughter ] president trump tweeted today quote, "we need all nations to work together, stop the arms race?" why are you asking us, you're the president. [ laughter ] what are you going to tweet next? feeling tired, go to bed now? [ laughter ] there was an hour long shutdown on the f train line this morning, after new york city authorities found a gun on a subway track, which they then used to put the f train out of its misery. [ laughter ] "oh, you were a good girl. oh, but you're too slow now. too slow now. this hurts me effie. look away, effie, look away!" and finally, as we mentioned speaker paul ryan announced today he will not seek re-election in november, ending his 20 year congressional career.
his retirement will spark a battle for leadership of the house to make republicans vulnerable in the upcoming midterm elections. this news is important but let's be honest, it's also a little dry. so we here at "late night" wrote a song to summarize our feelings about it. here's amber ruffin to sing her version of roy orbison's song "crying." as roy amberson with "ryan." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ you creep me out with just a smile you're a scary vampire child ♪ ♪ retirement is what you choose because if you run ♪ ♪ you're gonna lose people stopped listening to you oh i don't wish you well you're douchey i can tell ♪ ♪ cause you're paul ryan your time is through paul ryan don't let door hit you ♪ ♪ you really get my goad
your approval ratings as low as this paul ryan paul ryan you're retiring ♪ ♪ it's so gratifying ♪ you're gross you're a bore you got your tax cuts and screwed the poor you're leaving the house floor ♪ ♪ to see your children more but they don't want to see you you thought you could get paid to repeal medicaid ♪ ♪ paul ryan your time is through paul ryan don't let the door hit you paul ryan paul ryan you're through ♪
[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: roy orbison, everybody, we've got a great show for you tonight. he is starring in the truly terrifying and truly wonderful film, "a quiet place," john krasinski is back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] from nbc's "good girls," one of our favorites, retta is on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and music from grammy nominated james bay. so you are here for a fantastic show. [ cheers and applause ] before we get to all that, white house press secretary, sarah hucakbee sanders, holds a lot of press briefings, but i don't think she's answered all the questions we need asked. so, we decided to hold another one right here, right now. that's right. sarah huckabee sanders and the "late night" press corp. are here in our studio and ready to go. so, without further ado, it's a time for the "late night whitehouse press briefing."
♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: yes, sarah, sarah, yes, over here, sarah, yes, thank you. seth meyers, "late night with seth meyers." secretary sanders, do you ever regret taking this job? >> mercilessly and continuously, day in/day out, every single second. [ laughter ] >> seth: thank you for that. do you think the russians will meddle in the 2018 elections? >> the offer was made and we've accepted. [ laughter ] >> seth: what would you do if trump fired you? >> do my happy dance all over the house. [ laughter ] >> seth: can i ask why you have whiskey behind the podium? >> because it's friday. [ laughter ] >> seth: actually, it's wednesday. >> so we are getting close. >> seth: yeah, that's fair. [ laughter ] can you tell us where are most of the world's cheeseburgers stored?
>> in the president. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: when it comes to committing crimes in the white house, what does president trump consider president nixen? >> the og. [ laughter ] >> seth: what does it take to get the president out of bed in the morning? >> heavy equipment operators, mechanics, and surveyors in the construction industry. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: what is up with the president's gut, is he pregnant? >> the president is once again showing. [ laughter ] >> seth: who does president trump think is on the front of a box of lucky charms? >> the prime minister of ireland. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: what did john kelly say when he caught you smoking a joint. >> he asked me to pass it. [ laughter ] >> seth: complete the song lyric -- ♪ some day we'll find it the rainbow connection the lovers, the dreamers ♪
>> the drug smugglers, the traffickers, the coyotes. >> seth: and me. [ cheers and applause ] what excuse has melania been using to get out of sleeping with donald? >> longest period ever recorded. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: can you tell us a little bit about bernie sanders birthday party? >> this event is a timeless tradition that dates back to 1878. [ laughter ] >> seth: if trump does end up meeting with kim jong-un, how are you planning to get the president to north korea? >> we're working with the post office. [ laughter ] >> seth: what's going on with president trump's brain? >> it was removed. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] what can i expect about an hour after eating taco bell?
>> the struggle will be long and it will be difficult. [ light laughter ] >> seth: and one last question, what's the thing that donald trump does that melania hates the most? >> come home at the end of the day. [ laughter ] >> seth: well, looks like we're out of time. so on behalf of the rest of the press corp. have a good night, we'll be right back with john krasinski, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ don't juggle your home life and work life without it. ♪ ♪ don't skip that office meeting for a board meeting without it. don't keep it real... keep it going... or simply keep it in the family without it. and don't turn that business trip, into an overdue family trip without it. ♪ ♪ the more you live between life and business, the more you need someone at your back. the powerful backing of american express. don't live life without it.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody, please give it up for the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] also, sitting in with us tonight, he's one of the most versatile touring and session drummers in the world. be sure to check him on tour this year with marilyn manson. and check out his recently released instructional book, "wicked beats." gil sharone, everyone! >> thank you, seth. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: thank so much for being here, gil. >> nice to be here. >> seth: you know our first guest tonight from his work on "the office" and such films as "it's complicated" and "13 hours." he co-wrote, directed and stars in "a quiet place," which is in theaters now. please welcome back to the show, our friend john krasinski, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
♪ >> seth: hi! >> could've done that all day. >> seth: you're great at it. >> hello! >> seth: i'm so -- first of all congratulations, this film is so fantastic. >> thank you so much! >> seth: you co-wrote it, you starred in it, you directed it. >> yes. >> seth: you have directed things before. you've never directed horror before, though? >> no. >> seth: and -- >> why would i do that? >> seth: yeah, i mean -- [ laughter ] it didn't seem like a fit for me either. but it's the number one movie in the country. how did it come about? how did this -- >> it was really interesting, i was about to start this show "jack ryan" that i was doing and some of the producers had this script, and they said, "would you ever act in a horror movie?" and i said, "ooh, i don't horror but thanks anyway." and they said, "it's about a family that can't make any noise, and you have to figure out why." and i went, "damn it!" that's one of the best one-liners ever. [ laughter ] and i read this scripts, and legitimately, yes, i love that everybody says is scary and it is.
it's really great but there was something in there, the deeper theme there is parenthood. and i actually was holding our 3-week-old daughter while reading this script about a family that would do anything to protect their kids and i was like, "oh, my god." >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> i was using the baby to wipe the tears. >> seth: and -- >> which by the way we have to talk about your baby. >> seth: well, i -- you know, i do want to say -- >> no! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: thank you, guys. thank you. >> and don't worry, i'll bring it full circle back to the movie. i'm selfish. >> seth: yeah, no, i want to tie it in. >> i want to talk about this lobby hero you became. [ laughter ] >> seth: well, look, i -- my wife was the hero, but i -- it does tie into the movie because i would have thought the most terrifying birth this weekend was -- there's a birth in this movie and -- >> yeah. >> seth: you know, this is a movie about you have to be quiet or else the monsters -- >> yeah. >> seth: and so emily has to do a scene where she's birthing without making a noise. >> yeah. >> seth: it's terrifying. >> it's terrifying. >> seth: and then your wife, your actual wife gives wife gives birth in the lobby, and you're like, "that was nothing." [ laughter ] because you think monsters are scary, but nothing's more scary than like, oh, my god, our
doorman is going to see my wife's genitals. >> okay, so -- [ laughter ] so wait, i just -- i thought about that doorman when you were telling the story. >> seth: yeah. >> because you sort of skipped past him. >> seth: yeah. >> you were like, "there's a doorman --" and then you thanked him very nicely. but i just imagined what that guy's doing, like, "hey, seth, how you doing?" "do you guys" -- [ laughter ] "oh, my god, it's a baby. oh, it's a baby. that's a baby in your sweatpants --" like, did you shut him down forever? >> seth: i got to be honest and i hope he doesn't take this the wrong way, i wasn't focused on him. [ laughter ] like, during the birth -- >> it's fine. >> seth: i was like, "i hope kevin's okay." [ laughter ] no, but it was -- they were great because i only know they were great, like, after the fact because they did, like, kind of coral the people in our building to be like, you can't go in the lobby right now. >> yeah, they were like, "there's wet here. it's wet. [ laughter ] guy's it's too wet. just careful, careful." >> seth: but it's like, it's a beautiful wet. [ laughter ] but yeah, so -- >> oh, that's my band name.
>> seth: it was -- it was -- [ laughter ] >> my new band name. >> seth: oh, but you know -- you mentioned you had a 3-week-old. you got a 4-year-old and a 2 year-old. >> yes. almost two. >> seth: almost two. so we got a two-year gap with ours as well. what is -- how is the second one -- how did it change the game? >> in every single way. >> seth: yeah. >> because the -- when you have your first child, it's amazing, but in those moments where your, like, brain starts twitching, you get to go, "can you hold her for a second?" and there's someone to do that. and now you go, "can you hold her? who's this?" [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> i'm like, "number two gets passed to you." and there's no -- >> seth: yeah. >> there's no break. >> seth: i just facetimed right before the show with my wife and it was just both kids and the dog. and she was laughing like the joker. [ laughter ] like, so, like, she was happy and smiling, but, like, the way you do before you, like, poison a city's water. >> oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. that's called new parenthood. >> seth: yeah. that's good. >> yeah. that's what i tapped into in the movie. >> seth: you did! but you really genuinely did tap into movie because -- i mean, obviously, you and emily play parents, which you are in real life. the kids, you cast the most wonderful kids. >> unbelievable. >> seth: yeah.
>> unbelievable -- i've always been told don't work with kids, they never know their lines and they have kid hours, which are shorter than yours. and they're not professional. i had the exact opposite experience. these kids are -- i probably slowed them down. >> seth: yeah. >> they're the most professional kids in the world. and we had -- >> seth: and you didn't even give them any lines? >> no. >> seth: you put them in a movie where they're not allowed to talk. [ laughter ] >> i didn't. >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. i was like, "oh, you think you're good, how about this? no dialogue. [ laughter ] deal with that, kid. oh, you did deal with it. oh, wow! you did very well." >> seth: and, i mean, did you just know? i mean, i'm guessing you cast a wide net of trying to find kids to play in this film. did you know when you found them, like, "oh, these are the ones." >> oh, instantaneously. yeah, so noah jupe who plays my son in the movie is unbelievable. he was in "the night manager" and he had just worked with george clooney. and so i e-mailed george -- and i just thought -- [ laughter ] "hey, george." and then he was like, "don't ever write here again." i was like, "oh, wow!" [ laughter ] no, and he just said he was the best child actor he's ever worked with. and he said, "and as doug ross from 'er,' i've worked with them all." >> seth: yeah, that's -- >> literally.
>> seth: yeah. >> and then the other unbelievable actress is milli, and she is a deaf actress. she's the most beautiful girl in the world. >> seth: she's fantastic. >> it was nonnegotiable for me to cast a deaf actress but i had no idea how lucky i would i get. we're pretty sure, emily and i are sure that's she's not from here, that she's like an angel we got to know. >> seth: yeah. >> she's one of the most -- true. >> seth: yeah. >> wait 'til you meet her. >> seth: yeah. >> yay! no, i'm just kidding. [ laughter ] but, no, she was such an unbelievable guide and spirit animal for the movie, she was just the most beautiful person to be around. >> seth: you got -- this must be really nice when you have a movie come out. like, these are friends and not -- people you don't know. ryan reynolds tweeted about how he'd seen "a quiet place." >> yeah. >> seth: he wanted you guys to be his new parents. >> yes. >> seth: i think that's very high praise. this one -- this one's pretty good. lebron james wanted to go see it with his wife. >> king jim. >> seth: and then said, "#horrorhousewehave." [ laughter ] which is like -- i'm like, when he does something, i'm like, "that's so much cooler than i would have done." >> what is that?
>> seth: yeah. >> seth: and then -- but this is really the highlight, right? >> this was -- >> seth: stephen king. >> yeah. >> seth: "a quiet place" is an extraordinary piece of work. terrific acting, but the main thing is the silence, and how it makes the camera's eye wide open wide --" i mean that's -- as a director, like that's straight up the king of horror -- >> literally the king of horror. >> seth: complimenting your choices as a director. >> no, it was -- it was -- thank you. >> seth: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you very much. thank you. >> seth: yeah. >> no, but then he wrote me an email and one of my favorite things was i said, "oh, my god, you're also the biggest red sox fan." and he said, "if you ever want my tickets --" and i was like -- >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> so, yeah, that's happening. >> seth: that's fantastic. this keeps working out better and better for you. i have so much more to ask about the movie, stick around, we're going to be right back with more john krasinski after this. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you ever had a snickers® ahmend? i love ahmends. do you like ahmends? i like almonds... yeah, everybody loves ahmends. everything is ahmend now.
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♪ ♪ [ shallow breathing ] >> seth: it's just really scary. >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: it's really scary, you guys. i -- you know, obviously i've seen you, i've enjoyed you as a serious actor before. but again, like you said, this is your first horror film. >> yeah. >> seth: and i think for a lot of people it was different to see you that way. this is another tweet from chris kelly who used to be the head writer at "snl." he wrote, "just saw 'a quiet place' and about 8 minutes before the end of the movie a girl leaned over and asked her friend, 'is that the guy from 'the office.''" [ laughter ] so that i think is a high. >> but at least -- at least i got through almost the whole movie. >> seth: you made it through almost the whole movie.
>> yeah. >> seth: true story, i meant to tell you this, the night before -- the baby was born on sunday, saturday night my wife and i were trying to figure out something to watch, we watched old "office" episodes. >> oh, really? >> seth: we did. we watched "the dinner party." [ cheers and applause ] >> oh, "the dinner party." >> seth: great episode. >> yes. that's the best. that's my favorite joke on "the office." >> which was -- >> when steve says, "this is the best tv, and when guests come over, i can just" --" i mean when the tv only moves an inch and a half. [ laughter ] >> i think that's the hardest i've ever laughed in my life. >> seth: it was great. >> and then again, it got it moving. like, it got the baby moving. the baby's like -- >> laughter will do that. >> seth: "if tv is this good, i want to get out." [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> seth: yeah. >> exactly. >> seth: some people, obviously a lot of people tweeted. chris pratt went above and beyond for you. >> he certainly did. >> seth: he -- >> it was one of my favorite things. >> seth: he filmed a video of himself after he saw "a quiet place." let's take a look. >> okay, i know that i'm not supposed to be -- i know that i'm not supposed to be driving and shooting a video at the same time, but i'm stuck in traffic. i am stuck -- i just got out of "a quiet place." you have to go see this movie! just cancel your plans, stop what you're doing and go to the
movie theater. i cannot tell you how freakin' dope that movie is. [ laughter ] john krasinski, emily blunt, two kids, freaky [ bleep ] monsters. [ laughter ] and -- you just got to go see this. [ laughter ] >> seth: i think you -- [ laughter and applause ] you, like, broke chris pratt. >> i broke him, man. i just love, too, that he saw "a quiet place" and was as loud as he could possibly be coming out. >> seth: yeah. and -- >> i love that. >> seth: and there's a time between, like, when you see it and when you get in the car that he could have shot the video. >> oh, yeah. no, he had to get out. >> seth: he had to get out. >> he had to get out of there. >> seth: he had to get out, get in the car and then as soon as he's on the road just start talking about "a quiet place." >> oh. i was just sitting at home on my couch wondering, "man, when's seth's video coming?" >> seth: oh, do you mean -- [ light laughter ] were you upset that i didn't do one? >> i mean, upset is not the word. it was like, like very upset. >> seth: do you want me to one? >> that would be great if you could. just sort of, you know, do the old selfie move. >> seth: i don't have my selfie. i'll do it on camera one. >> oh! [ light laughter ] >> seth: okay, ready?
hey, guys, it's seth meyers. [ laughter ] i'm doing a show right now, i know i shouldn't be doing this, i just saw "a quiet place." [ laughter ] oh, krasinski -- the two kids. [ laughter ] [ bleep ] [ bleep ] see this movie! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] okay. great. we'll get that to you. >> yeah. >> seth: we'll get that to you right away. >> yeah, send that out. oh, it feels better now. >> seth: yeah, it feels better. >> oh, man. >> seth: no, i'm proud of you. i'm as big of fan of yours as pratt is. >> i don't know. >> seth: yeah. >> that shows that he's pretty -- he's a pretty big fan. >> seth: yeah. i want to ask about -- we didn't show them in the clip, which i'm glad, because i do feel like you want to see it on the big screen. when you see the monsters in this film, that is such a huge decision you make as a director for one of these things. >> oh, my god, yeah. >> seth: how does that process even happen? >> you know what's funny? i so nerded out on this movie. i went so deep with all the details on the family and the circumstances that they were in, so i wanted to go that far with the creature. and so i had a whole back story and where he comes from, of course it's a dude. what? i don't know why i'm saying that. it's both.
>> seth: yeah. >> um -- >> seth: because there's more than one. >> of course! >> seth: so they're obviously having babies. >> that's right. >> seth: yeah. >> but, you know, the funny thing is -- one of the things i remember my dad told me when we were kids is the most confident thing you can say sometimes is "i don't know." so i had all these ideas but then ilm shows up, okay? ilm, for those who don't know, they basically created your dreams. >> seth: yeah. >> okay, they created everything you love. and there was a guy named scott farrar who's one of the original guys at ilm. and this is the type of dude who at lunch, he's the nicest person, and would be like, "yeah, you know, when we were doing that scene in the kitchen with the raptors for 'jurassic park' --" and i was just like, "wait, what? >> seth: yeah. >> you're just dropping that over lunch that you, like, created the raptors -- >> seth: yeah. >> in "jurassic park?" so then when we, you know, i had the idea to do the creatures, he was so involved in the details as i was. and then one day he goes, "can you do me a favor?" i said, "yeah," and he said, "i'm having trouble understanding how he's walking. would you do it for me?" and i got on the ground and crawled like it and he videotaped it. i'm pretty sure that was him just punking me. [ laughter ]
like, i -- i don't think he used that at all. >> seth: that would be so great if that guy has just cell phone videos of big stars walking like monsters. [ laughter ] he's like, "you can't believe how many people fall for this." >> "yeah, they are so dumb." >> seth: yeah. that's the thing about actors, they will do anything if you have a camera. [ laughter ] hey, man, congrats, again. >> thank you so much! and to you. >> seth: oh, thank you so much. it's such a joy to have you back on the show. >> so much fun. >> seth: give it up for john krasinski, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] "a quiet place" is in theaters now. we'll be right back with retta. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ well, like most of you, i just bought a house. -oh! -very nice. now i'm turning into my dad. i text in full sentences. i refer to every child as chief. this hat was free. what am i supposed to do, not wear it? next thing you know, i'm telling strangers defense wins championships. -well, it does. -right? why is the door open? are we trying to air condition the whole neighborhood?
dead after a plane crash in arizona. )mariah coogan ) - an aspiring model from sonoma county - was one of six people on board. the plane was headed to las vegas, from scottsdale monday night. we )re tweeting updates. and on our website: it was a late one for the a )s and dodgers. the two teams wrapped up their game just after 11 o )clock. the a )s went on to win... 16 to 6.
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: our next guest is a very funny actress you know from her work on "parks and recreation," and "girlfriend's guide to divorce." she currently stars in the series, "good girls," which airs monday nights at 10 here at nbc. let's take a look. >> i want to stay ahead of a bad situation, and i'm not just talking about the mary pat thing. >> every cent i saved went towards those damn hospital bills. >> exactly, and my mortgage is paid now, but what about next month. >> so, what are we talking about here? >> i was thinking something kind
of low stress, like a 7-eleven. >> i can get behind that. >> except for the one on lynnwood because i got him to sponsor the school. >> good for you. >> well, i'm out. >> you're out? >> it's just not a good time for me to get back into crime. >> well, can we sink up i-cals so i know when is? >> i'm facing a felony drug charge. i got to keep a low profile. >> you bitches didn't ask me if i wanted to kidnap a dude. >> seth: please welcome back to the show our very good friend retta, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> seth: hi there. >> hi. >> seth: i'm so happy to see you. >> i'm happy to see you.
congrats, dad. >> seth: thank you, retta. it's very, very exciting. >> so very exciting. >> seth: thank you so much. >> i mean, yeah. ♪ lobby labor >> seth: and i want to -- very exciting news as well, it's your birthday? >> yes. >> seth: happy birthday. [ cheers and applause ] >> i'm wearing my birthday dress. >> seth: happy birthday, it's a beautiful birthday dress. >> yes, my friend -- my friend jamie elise made me this dress for my birthday. >> seth: it's gorgeous. >> thank you. >> seth: i feel terrible i don't have a present for you. >> oh, you don't? >> seth: no. >> that's so weird, because i brought one for you. >> seth: well, that makes me feel even worse. [ audience aws ] [ applause ] are these baby presents? >> yes, it's baby -- >> seth: can i open it? >> yes. >> seth: okay, great. alright, oh this is great, because of course we had new york's bravest, the fire department, help out. there's a little -- mommy's little hero, that's fantastic. [ applause ] thank you so much. >> there's -- there's one -- they're all -- i got a bunch of like fireman themed -- >> seth: oh, fireman themed, that's good. >> my mom's a hero type thing. >> seth: oh, yeah this is fantastic. look at this stuff, you're the best. [ audience aws ] that's great. thank you so much, retta.
>> thank you. >> seth: so birthday -- backstage you had a lot of friends with you, a lot of girlfriends from college you were saying. what are your plans, what are you guys going to do? >> we're going to drink. [ laughter ] we did some day drinking. it's so funny 'cause the photographer brought back prints of our day drinking. >> seth: yeah, we went day drinking together. >> and my friend was like, "oh, we did that already." i was like it's not pictures of us. it's me and seth. [ laughter ] >> seth: but one thing you're not doing, is you're not going to see "hamilton" this trip. >> no, i normally force my friends -- i don't force them, they're like excited that i even got tickets for them, but i've seen it eight time. >> seth: eight times. >> so i feel -- [ cheers and applause ] i feel bad that i'm like, let's go see "hamilton" and they're like, we're going to do another 2 hours of a -- okay. >> seth: yeah. >> so, i'm not making them go this time, but -- i'm sure i'll see it again. >> seth: i know, mae whitman, one of your co-stars, you took her to "hamilton," which was very kind of you. >> i did the last time i was in town. >> seth: and she also said that "sex and the city" was a show that she had not seen, and you hipped her to the idea that she should maybe see it.
>> i'm sick -- first of all i was sick to my stomach that she said she hadn't seen "hamilton." i was like, who are you, and where are you from, and then we'd be on set chatting, and she's like, so i just started watching "sex and the city," and christina and i both went -- [ laughter ] what? and she's like, i'm so anxious, she's doing this, that, and the other thing. we're like, we know, she did it 15 years ago. >> seth: yeah. >> like, so stressed out, i was like bitch keep up. [ laughter ] >> seth: well, you are an aggressive television watcher. >> i love -- yes. >> seth: you must constantly be disappointed by people that are not up to date. >> well i mean, i'm not up to date either, i tend to do the binge thing, but 15 years is a bit of time. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] yeah, that's a little bit too much time. >> just a little too long. >> seth: yeah, it's like, don't tell me what happened to tony soprano. [ laughter ] >> i know, i know, it's like -- >> seth: your show, "good girls," this is about women who, well, they start breaking the law. >> yeah. >> seth: they do some crimes to make the ends meet. >> yes. >> seth: has that ever happened in your life? have you ever had a -- is there a shady background in retta's past at all?
>> yes. [ laughter ] no, i'm very much a goody two shoes, but when i was younger, when i was little, i stole a crossword puzzle from a grocery store, and i was with my godmother at the time, and we were in the car, and i surreptitiously pulled it out, and i was like, can't wait to get a pencil, and get up in here. i think i was like -- i was like 11 or 12, and she took me back to go pay for it, and then i was like, well, that's not as fun, but -- that was -- that's how they think. >> seth: that's good, lesson learned. >> yeah. >> seth: yeah, it's always good to learn a lesson. >> yeah. >> seth: you -- christina hendricks, your other co-star, mae, i know you guys hang out a lot offset. what are some of the things you guys do? >> drink. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah? i see a theme. i see a theme. >> yeah, when we first met we were drinking, and then whenever we have downtime we drink. we were just -- we haven't seen each other because christina is shooting a show up in calgary, so she was in l.a. this past week, and so she was like, come by, because
we had plans, and so i -- i'm in the middle of moving, so i don't have very many things in my condo where i am living. so i just changed out of all my clothes, i went to her house in pajamas, no bra, and slippers. [ laughter ] and basically just drank until we were slurring, and i called uber. [ applause ] >> seth: you -- mae posted this, and i think this is definitely something only a friend would do. she basically on instagram said, "when your co-star shows up to work looking like the rock," and then posted a picture of you side by side by the rock and -- [ laughter ] we -- i talked about this. she claims she did not add that fanny pack, but that seems very clearly added in, in post. >> she's -- well, we were sitting -- we were shooting, i forget what scene we were shooting, and i was dressed -- this is a costume, i didn't come to work like this, this is what i was wearing on set, and i was standing there, i go, "you guys
do i look like the rock," and she goes -- she didn't know what i was talking about. i was like google it. the rock fanny pack. and she was like, "please let me take a picture," and then drew in the fanny pack. >> seth: that is fantastic, also fantastic, you wrote a book. >> i did. >> seth: congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] "so close to being the [ bleep ], y'all don't even know." how did you come up with the title, "so close to being the [ bleep ], ya'll don't even know?" >> that's just my life. >> seth: yeah. >> i'm so close to being the [ bleep ], ya'll don't even know. [ laughter ] >> seth: don't you feel like people, more people are getting close to knowing now then, every year? >> you know what, when i was writing this, i started this when i was in vancouver doing "girlfriends guide," and that was the kind of thing, the show was going to end, i didn't know if i was going to have a job after that. and it was the kind of thing, but i was like, i was antsy, i was like, i know it's coming, it's coming, it's coming, it's coming, and so this job came after i finished the book. so there was all this press, my
face was in times square, and i was like, the book was right. a bitch is -- [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: now, what i like about this book is, obviously it's very -- you have a very positive opinion of yourself, which i think is really healthy, but you also -- you admit in this book, there's a whole chapter where you admit that you might be lazy. >> yes. >> seth: and what are some of the things where you're admitting you might be lazy? >> i mean sit down when i'm heating up leftovers in the microwave. i sit down in the shower. [ laughter ] i bought my condo because the shower had a seat. i take the elevator at the gym. [ laughter ] >> seth: there's another one. you catch a few z's while you pees? >> you know when you go to the bathroom in the middle of the
night, and you're like exhausted? like, i'll pee, and then you just like, i don't want to gets up. and then i like fall asleep sometimes, and then i'm like, oh i probably should get up, because my legs are falling asleep. >> seth: you ever notice your toenails get too long, and it's uncomfortable to wear your own shoes. >> together: wear your own shoes. [ laughter ] >> seth: so this is -- you just will not do toenail maintenance? >> no, no, no, it's because i go get mani/pedis, but sometimes, like in vancouver i didn't have like my person, and i don't like randos touching my feet, and sometimes they get like that, and you're like, ooh these shoes are uncomfortable. it's just like your feet aren't growing, it's just the toenails. [ laughter ] >> seth: i want to ask about this, if you get engaged, if you get engaged, you are going to register -- you're so lazy you're going to register for dixie products? >> yeah, because dishes are some some bull[ bleep ]. [ laughter ] >> seth: so you're just going to have paper plates? [ cheers and applause ]
>> the nice kind. >> seth: the nice kind? >> you know, they have like the plastic ones. >> seth: dixie platinum, like what -- >> you don't think -- it's nice sometimes they have the plastic ones. >> seth: got you. >> you know, just rinse them off, and toss them. >> seth: i would just say, definitely wait. don't mention that after -- like until you get the ring, you know what i mean, that like you're going to go -- >> it's in the book so hopefully he won't read my book. >> seth: hey, thank you so much for being here, it's always a just such a pleasure. >> thank you. i appreciate that. >> seth: retta, everybody. "good girls" airs monday nights at 10 here at nbc. we'll be right back with music from james bay. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ this is what getting your car serviced at lincoln looks like.
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the powerful backing of american express. don't live life without it. the powerful backing of american express. so, you'll be here to i got you.need you? what about here? yup. here? yes, kyle. and here sir robert from state farm? if you invite me. go with the one that's here to help life go right. state farm. ♪ why don't you ♪ just meet me ♪ in the middle ♪ i'm losing ♪ my mind ♪ just a little ♪ so why don't you just ♪ meet me in the middle ♪ is changing every day ♪ ♪ in every possible way ♪ ♪ ♪ i want more ♪
don't ask me to repeat it ♪ ♪ don't suffocate my heart i don't know what i'm feeling ♪ ♪ do you want to talk do you want to talk it through ♪ ♪ swear i ain't got anything on my mind i don't want to talk to you ♪ ♪ don't ask me ♪ ♪ do you want to talk do you want to talk it through ♪ ♪ swear i ain't got anything on my mind i don't want to talk to you ♪ ♪ don't fall into my arms i'll only disappoint you i'll let you down ♪
♪ don't go sounding the alarms when all i do is want you ♪ ♪ so don't ask me ♪ ♪ do you want to talk do you want to talk it through ♪ ♪ swear i ain't got anything on my mind i don't want to talk to you ♪ ♪ don't ask me ♪ ♪ do you want to talk do you want to talk it through ♪ ♪ swear i ain't got anything on my mind i don't want to talk to you ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ let me wake up heavy head lying in my bed with you naked ♪ ♪ go put that song on that you love on repeat until we can't take it ♪
♪ i want to drink pink lemonade watching movie trailers till it's late ♪ ♪ and let's remember all the words that we think are going to make our hearts break ♪ ♪ so don't ask me ♪ ♪ do you want to talk do you want to talk it through ♪ ♪ swear i ain't got anything on my mind i don't want to talk to you ♪ ♪ don't ask me ♪ ♪ do you want to talk do you want to talk it through ♪ ♪ swear i ain't got anything on my mind i don't want to talk to you ♪ ♪ you thinking of you i'm just thinking of you thinking of you thinking of you ♪ ♪ thinking of you i'm just thinking of you thinking of you ♪
♪ i'm protecting you i'm protecting you i'm protecting you from what i don't want ♪ to have to say i'm protecting you i'm protecting you i'm protecting ♪ ♪ cause i don't want to walk away don't ask me ♪ ♪ you thinking of you i'm just thinking of you thinking of you ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: james bay, everyone. "electric light" is out on may 18th. and head over to latenightseth.com for a performance of his new song "us." we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ]