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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  May 22, 2018 11:34pm-12:36am PDT

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win. 3-2. >> they should have checked about the fog. i think you would have given them a good answer. >> i'm here all the time. >> and tomorrow. >> speaking of that, the fog is back, and drizzle coming in, stays mild, 71. slight change here showers late, late thursday. better chance of scattered rain on friday. look at sunday, 85. memorial day weekend. >> perfect, thanks for joining us, we will see you bye-bye. be safe. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- sarah paulson, chris hardwick, danica patrick, musical guest foster the people, and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 877! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon!
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♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, welcome, everybody! welcome, everybody. welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show." this is it. you're here. [ cheers and applause ] this is the show. let's get to some news here, guys. today, president trump said his big meeting with kim jong-un might not happen. [ audience ohs ] trump and kim have been going back and forth over where to meet and who will be there. even friends group-texting
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about brunch were like, "make a a decision already, i mean, come on!" [ laughter and applause ] "i can't make it, man. i got a little league game." that's the right, the meeting might get called off. apparently kim jong-un didn't like trump's idea of the two of them riding through the streets in a horse drawn carriage. [ laughter and applause ] too much. but trump wants the meeting to take place. he said, if kim jong-un agrees to meet, he can guarantee kim's safety. trump promises to test kim's food before he eats it and -- [ light laughter ] keep testing it until it's totally gone. and -- [ laughter and applause ] he's just -- he said he's ready to do that. yup. while trump was talking about a a potential deal with north korea today, he brought up his own experience with making deals. watch this. >> you go into deals that are 100% certain, it doesn't happen. you go into deals that have no chance and it happens and sometimes happens easily. i've made a lot of deals. i know deals i think better than anybody knows deals. you never really know. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: kim jong-un saw that
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and immediately pulled out of the meeting. [ laughter and applause ] he was like, "i have no idea what he's" -- "you don't know if a deal's a a deal's or there's no deal. that's the deal." [ laughter ] i heard that white house aides have told trump to switch out his cellphone on a monthly basis, but he says it's too inconvenient. yeah. trump's like, "the only thing i switch out on a monthly basis is my staff. [ laughter and applause ] and it's no big deal. but it's a big deal. but it's no big deal." well get this, this week a a sinkhole appeared on the white house lawn -- >> steve: what? >> jimmy: yeah. but after the groundskeepers investigated, they realized it was just another one of melania's escape tunnels. [ laughter and applause ] so it's all right, don't worry. it's all -- it's okay. it's going to be all right. last night was the season finale of "american idol." and the final two contestants, maddie and caleb, revealed that they're dating. [ audience ohs ] and the moment they announced maddie was the winner, she turned to caleb and said, "we need to talk." [ laughter and applause ]
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♪ i can't believe it's happening to me ♪ [ light laughter ] ♪ some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ i can't believe it's happening to me ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: there was a mistake in the judgement. >> jimmy: hey, i want to say congratulations to miss nebraska who won last night's "miss usa" pageant. [ cheers and applause ] congratulations! well, you know, there were a a lot of women who didn't even get a chance to compete this year. they just missed the cut. well, we wanted to give one of them a chance to answer some questions that she would have been asked. so joining us now, from her home in akron, is miss backup ohio. [ cheers and applause ] >> hello. hello, jimmy. i am -- i am so smiling to be here. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, well we're -- we're -- [ laughter ] we're happy to have you. are you ready for your first question?
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>> yes, so much ready! [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: now everything i'm about to ask you are all questions from last night's pageant. so just try your best. >> okay. >> jimmy: first question, the boy scouts recently decided to accept girls. do you feel this is a positive change? >> yeah. >> jimmy: what? [ light laughter ] >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: why are you acting defensive if you -- >> no, no -- >> jimmy: it's not -- this is all fun. >> no, it's fun. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, yeah, it is fun, yeah. >> it's fun. >> jimmy: yeah, don't get -- don't get mad at me, it's fun. >> no, no it's fun. this is fun, it's the scouts. >> jimmy: this is fun, this is the scouts? >> this is so the boys -- the boys they have their kentucky derby cars. and the girls they have their cookies. and when you put them together that means everyone's good at knots. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: here's another question. you're on your way to a a march -- >> okay. >> jimmy: and someone hands you blank sign and a marker. what do you put on your sign and why?
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>> oh! this one i am prepared for. i have a sign, look. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah -- i want spag -- okay, yeah. >> i want spaghetti. >> jimmy: let's just move on. >> okay. >> jimmy: let's move on here. now i saw that "miss usa" pageant actually had some contestants submit their own questions. have you submitted a question? >> oh, yes, yes. the following question is actually for you, jimmy, okay? >> jimmy: wow. okay. >> okay. what is your plans in five years to achieve world peace, role models and what is your reason for winning? and if so, why did you children? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i have no idea how to answer that. >> congratulations! that means you're the next miss backup ohio! >> jimmy: oh, my goodness! [ cheers ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] miss backup ohio, everyone.
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miss backup ohio. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ guys, listen to this -- [ laughter ] the city of lake worth, florida accidentally texted all of their residents a false zombie alert. [ laughter ] people were relieved to learn it was a false alarm. but then they were like, "wait, why do we even have a zombie alert system?" [ laughter and applause ] what is -- is that a thing? this is funny -- this is -- [ light laughter ] this is going viral. this week, u.s. soccer legend brandi chastain was honored with a plaque in san francisco. now before we show it you, can we look at brandi? there's brandi right there. she's awesome. now, can we look at her plaque? [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: oh! mickey rooney. >> jimmy: wow. [ laughter ] well, after the unveiling, brandi put out a -- [ laughter ]
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brandi put out a statement that said, "after a great career alongside my teammates it is an honor to be commemorated." then brandi's plaque spoke up and said, "ermagerd, lerk merm, erm cermermererterd." [ laughter and applause ] then this weird state of soccer star cristiano ronaldo was like, "yer! werlcerm ter the cermermerertion clerb! pert erm the clerb." [ laughter and applause ] then this old plaque of elvis presley was like, "erm in the clerb, and er derden't erven pler serccer!" [ laughter ] and finally this statue of lucille ball showed up and said, "ermagerd, did sermberdy say serccer! he sherts, he sceres! gerrrrrrrrl!" [ laughter and applause ] guys -- unbelievable. >> steve: what is that? >> jimmy: i don't know, man. i don't know what that photo -- that plaque is based on. >> steve: looks like a
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a 75-year-old man. [ laughter ] with his hair parted down -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my -- it is, it's mickey rooney. >> steve: yeah, it looks like mickey rooney. >> jimmy: it's mickey rooney, star of stage and screen. >> steve: his neckerchief! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i got to see it again. it's unbelievable. >> steve: it's like aunt jemima -- look at that. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. that's just fan -- [ laughter ] >> steve: she's not smiling. she's like grimacing. she's mad! [ growling ] "get off of my lawn, you kids! i'm keeping this ball." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: guys, get this, yesterday a baboon escaped from a flight and got loose at the san antonio airport. luckily he was caught after he got trapped on the moving walkway behind someone who wouldn't step to the side. you know those people. [ laughter and applause ] and finally, someone in ohio called police and said that they were being followed down the street by a pig and weren't sure what to do. [ light laughter ] when officers arrived they said, "ma'am, that's just your tinder date." [ laughter and applause ] you guys, we have a great show. give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, man. that's so -- i don't understand. i don't know how it gets that far. >> steve: it's also a good drawing -- it's like a good plaque. the other ones look crazy. >> jimmy: yeah, it does. >> steve: this one's like -- it just looks like a -- >> jimmy: it's insane, man. we've got a great show tonight. oh, i love our guests tonight. from the new film "ocean's 8", sarah paulson is stopping by. >> steve: come on! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how talented is sarah paulson? >> steve: oh, my gosh. >> jimmy: she's so talented. sarah and i are going to be doing something very fun later on in the show, you don't want to miss it. plus, this thursday he is hosting nbc's "red nose day special." chris hardwick is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: one of the best dudes in the world. >> jimmy: he's funny. did you see -- did you see his entrance from last year?
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he fell. [ light laughter ] we're gonna -- if you haven't seen it, we're going to show it tonight. >> steve: yeah, you'll see it. >> jimmy: i'll wait 'til chris comes out. he can explain what happened. but they introduce him and he walks out -- just eats it, man. yeah, it's great. [ laughter ] plus, she's one of the most popular racecar drivers of all time. and this sunday, she's competing for the last time ever at the indy 500. danica patrick is joining us. [ cheers and applause ] and we have great music from foster the people! [ cheers and applause ] i cannot wait. stick around, we'll be right back with sarah paulson, ladies and gentlemen. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ sometimes a day at the ballpark is more than just a day at the ballpark. [park announcer] all military members stand and be recognized.
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♪ a toast, from estrella jalisco. pa arriba! to the stars of the mexican national team. pa abajo! to the stars that know you don't get here by luck but after years of dedication. al centro! to the stars that bleed green, white and red. pa dentro! we are all in this together, no matter what! vamos por la estrella.
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estrella jalisco, the only premium mexican cerveza proud to be the official beer of the mexican national team. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: our first guest is an emmy and golden globe winning actress. and now, she's starring in "ocean's 8," which hits theaters on june 8th. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the very, very talented sarah paulson!
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: come on! take it in. take it in. they love you! [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: you look gorgeous. it's always great to see you, pal. >> how are you? >> jimmy: thank you. i'm doing fantastic. >> are you? >> jimmy: thank you. yeah. >> good. >> jimmy: yeah, thank you for coming back on the show. >> thanks for having me. it's freezing in here! [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, no it's not. >> for a gal weario kind of co. [ laughter ] kind of cold. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: last time you were here, i made you do a bunch of impressions. >> yeah, you did. >> jimmy: we ran through them. >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: can you give me a a little -- give me a little holly hunter?
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>> it was uh -- oh. jimmy, hi. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, that's good. [ light laughter ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: kathleen turner. >> listen, jimmy, i haven't been on the show in a long time. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and drew barrymore. >> thank you so much for having me. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is good. have you run into any of these? >> you know, it's funny, because i didn't realize how that could be potentially a big problem, because somebody might be a little offended. >> jimmy: yeah, some people don't -- they don't like it. yeah, people don't like impressions. >> yeah, i ran into drew barrymore and ellen degeneres -- that's a a really big name, do you want to pick that up? >> jimmy: no, yeah, you dropped a couple, yeah. ellen degeneres -- ellen degeneres' 60th birthday party and drew barrymore was there. >> jimmy: yes. >> and all of a sudden, i had this, like, whiteout in terror thinking, like, i did an impression of her on national television. she may hate my guts, but she didn't. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: no. >> she thought i was okay. she was like, "sarah, that was such a good impression." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: not true. >> so -- so accurate. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so, so accurate. do you -- [ light laughter ] >> it is so -- i feel so super honored. so super honored. it's so sweet of you.
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's what she said to you at ellen's party. >> yeah, at ellen's party. >> jimmy: did you bring any other impressions for us, please? >> yeah, you know, i do an impression of juliette lewis in "cape fear." >> jimmy: oh, i love "cape fear." robert de niro, yeah. >> yeah. you know him, right? >> jimmy: sure, i know juliette lewis too. >> yeah, okay. >> jimmy: this is great. yeah, okay. okay, so it's from the movie. >> jimmy: yep, "cape fear." juliette lewis. ready? >> jimmy: yeah, here we go. >> oh, my god. [ light laughter ] wait, you're the one who killed my mom's dog. right? [ laughter ] [ applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: come out, come out, wherever you are! >> see, that's very good. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but now, you're -- you decided to not do celebrity impressions anymore. you want to do -- >> animals. [ light laughter ] because, you know, you don't have to worry about running into them at a party. >> jimmy: hey, you never know what parties you go to. >> no my -- mine is a dolphin and i don't want to see a dolphin at a a party. [ light laughter ] that would really freak me out, yeah. >> jimmy: you can do a dolphin right now? yeah. [ dolphin sounds ] >> jimmy: wow. that's fantastic! [ dolphin sounds ]
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[ cheers and applause ] oh, my god. >> uh-oh. >> jimmy: sorry. i'm just looking online, flipper is pissed right now. [ light laughter ] i didn't know flipper was still around. >> i thought, like, flipper was going to be on facetime or something, i was like, wow -- [ dolphin sounds ] >> jimmy: stop talking about me. "ocean's 8." everyone's talking about this. a lot of buzz around this movie. >> yeah. >> jimmy: how fun was this? what a cast. >> it was kind of crazy. >> jimmy: sandra bullock. >> you've got sandra bullock. you've got mindy kaling. you've got cate blanchett. >> jimmy: mindy kaling. >> you've got -- you know, rihanna. >> jimmy: cate blanchett. >> yeah, you like cate blanchett. but, then, it kind of puts you on a tiny bit of, like a, you don't know what line to straddle. you've got like, "bitch, better have my money," and then, you've got like shakespeare's "r" us on the other side, with, like, cate, where you're like, "oh, are you reading thoreau?" i should probably read that thoreau too. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you know, and then, rihanna, you're like, "can i just sit near you?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you just want to be cool around her? >> yeah. i wanted to be cool around her. >> jimmy: she is super duper cool. >> i wish i had worn a diaper when i met her because i sort of -- [ audience ohs ] [ light laughter ]
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>> jimmy: just a little bit. >> just a little bit, kind of. [ light laughter ] just like a little squirt. [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: now -- no. >> i don't mean that. >> jimmy: no, i know what you meant. >> you know, i meant the one -- >> jimmy: the good one. the good one. the good one. [ laughter ] the classy one. >> the good kind. >> jimmy: the classy one. >> the kind that everyone would understand! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i would never think of you as any other way. >> nobody would ever think of me any other way. >> jimmy: never. >> never. >> jimmy: never, never, ever. >> and they don't even do it at all. >> jimmy: no, nor do i. >> no! >> jimmy: are you kidding me? >> this is going downhill so bad. i'm going to get in so much trouble. >> jimmy: no, you will not. >> okay. >> jimmy: i want to talk about this film, let's talk about the movie. now, in the movie, you're at the met gala. >> yup. >> jimmy: and someone's trying to steal a $150 million dollar jewel. >> $150 million dollar necklace. cartier necklace, yes. >> jimmy: mm-hmm. >> because sandy bullock plays debbie ocean, who is the sister of danny ocean, played by george clooney in the original franchise. >> jimmy: that's right, and he's producing this one. >> and he's producing this one. and she's been in jail for over five years, 8 months, 12 days planning this heist. and she enlists seven girls -- women, who are very, very good
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at their jobs. i happen to be one of them. >> jimmy: it's interesting, because i saw you at the met gala. >> you did see me at the met gala. >> jimmy: did you enjoy it? you looked beautiful. >> i did, thank you. >> jimmy: yeah. did you think of stealing anything? [ light laughter ] well, what i did do is i took my tequila with my friend, bruce bozzi. you know bruce? >> jimmy: i love bruce bozzi. yeah. >> so we're told we couldn't bring our tequila, which we were still enjoying, into the other part of the area where madonna was about to perform. and we decided that just sounded like a bad idea to not have our tequila while we were going to watch madonna, basically in a private concert, you know -- >> jimmy: in the museum. >> in the museum. >> jimmy: yeah. you know, so we took it. >> jimmy: how did you smuggle tequila into the next room? >> he put it in his pants. [ light laughter ] like right down the pants and every time we're walking, and i sort of picked up the pace, he'd be like, "could you slow down?" "i've got like lots of things -- [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: he put it in his pants? >> tequila soaked johnson, yeah. >> jimmy: so he put it in his pants? >> yeah. >> jimmy: did he put like a a glass of liquid?
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>> like a glass, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: and then, he walked? >> he walked around. >> jimmy: did he walk like -- did he walk like? [ light laughter ] like, did he -- >> he was trying to be a little >> jremy: yeah, so he's walking with you. >> he's walking. >> jimmy: and he's going like this. >> and i'm walking. >> jimmy: getting into the next room. >> he sure wasn't doing that, jimmy. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: but was he cruising? was he just like -- i don't know how -- [ laughter ] i don't know how i would do that. >> i like what you're doing is like pointing it out. he was more like trying to -- >> jimmy: suck it in? >> yeah. he was like -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, we don't look conspicuous at all. no, no, we're not going anything you guys. we're just having fun at the met gala. ♪ don't move. oh boy. i have the ice in mine. you have the liquid in yours. wait, so you did -- and you got it in? you smuggled it? >> we smuggled it. and then, by the time we got it and we're able to actually drink it, there was this much left because it all spilled in his pants. [ laughter ] i was like, would you drop your trousers? i am thirsty. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. here we go. guys, i am -- you did that. that's great! [ laughter ] and i want to show a clip of
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the movie. here's sarah paulson in "ocean's 8." take a look at this. >> yes, sweety, mommy is in her new job now. charley, will you do me a a favor? right there? what, sweetheart? well, mommy finds very special toys, and then, she finds new homes for them. yes. exactly like your turtle. it's exactly right. thank you so much, charley. thank you. sweetheart, i have to go. i just got a brand new toy for debbie and i can't wait to play with it. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: sarah paulson, everybody. "ocean's 8" hits theaters june 8th. "ocean's 8," june 8th. >> get it. >> jimmy: when we come back sarah and i are going to have an emotional interview. stick around! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everyone! we are hanging out with sarah paulson right there, ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ] now, sarah paulson, you've acted in both comedies and dramas. so that means you're in touch with many emotions. but now, i want to see just how emotional we can get. it's time for an emotional interview. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: now, here's how it works. we're going to have a normal conversation with each other. except every so often, we're going to hear this ding sound. [ ding ] and when we hear that, we'll be given an emotion or situation that we have to act out as we keep talking. >> okay. >> jimmy: sounds good? >> yeah. >> jimmy: here we go. all right, ready? [ ding ] all right, summer's almost here. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and -- >> i love summer, man. >> jimmy: do you -- >> i love it. >> jimmy: i used to go to the old -- old stovehill. >> yeah? >> jimmy: yeah. >> did you? >> jimmy: and climb up it and
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roll down. [ light laughter ] oh, yeah. >> yeah, man. >> jimmy: i remember that, i love rolling down. >> summer. i love rolling down, too. >> jimmy: you do? >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, i love it. >> rolling down is like one of the best things you can do with your time. >> jimmy: i love that. like, grandfather was just like -- ♪ rolling down >> yeah. >> jimmy: my grandpa had a very high voice. [ light laughter ] >> yeah. ♪ rolling down ♪ rolling down [ ding ] >> jimmy: yeah. my grandfather was stevie wonder, but -- what do i know? [ laughter ] i mean -- that's pretty cool, i guess. i don't know. i used to go to concerts all the time. >> i am stevie wonder. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you are? [ ding ] >> yeah, i am. >> jimmy: that's interesting because -- let's just not do this, okay? >> i just don't, okay? could you just -- why are you -- >> jimmy: oh, good. >> keep your voice down. >> jimmy: i will. [ light laughter ] i am -- keeping it down. keeping it down right now! [ light laughter ] you're the one that said it. so why don't you go start the car, and then, i'll meet you out there. i'll get the -- >> i want a divorce. [ light laughter ] i want a divorce. [ ding ] >> jimmy: you want a divorce. you're going to get one all right. you're going to get one. [ light laughter ] because, you know what? i think you need a divorce. [ laughter ] >> you should get divorced. you should get divorced. >> jimmy: no, you need a a divorce. >> you need it more than i do. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: no, i mean, i really feel like you -- >> no.
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i think you should. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: no. >> i really do. >> jimmy: i think that you -- it's not -- look at you. you know? [ laughter ] >> i think -- look at me? >> jimmy: yeah. [ light laughter ] look at -- i feel like you need a divorce. [ laughter ] [ ding ] because if you do that. [ talking over each other ] >> i don't know. hey! >> jimmy: one time, i went to a a baseball game. >> i love your tie. i also really hate your face. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: and i went to a a baseball game once. >> i don't know why your hair is so high. >> jimmy: swing the bat. i go, why would he keep swinging the bat? >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: oh, that's baseball. you know. >> what is that? what is that? [ laughter ] what is that? >> jimmy: football i like, too. [ ding ] >> you look so good. >> jimmy: how dare you? [ laughter ] >> no. i'm saying -- >> jimmy: how dare you say that to me on my show? [ light laughter ] >> i'm saying you look really well. >> jimmy: oh, you come over to me. you said -- >> you look good and rested. you look good and happy. >> jimmy: we're breaking it up. [ laughter ] >> i'm telling you something very -- >> jimmy: what are you saying? >> that you are -- >> jimmy: beep! [ ding ] i'm beeping. beep, beep, beep, beep, because i'm a truck driver!
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[ laughter ] beep, beep -- i got the delivery over here! [ light laughter ] beep, beep, beep, beep. hold on a second. >> click. click. i can't -- >> jimmy: you want me to drive that truck? [ laughter ] when all i do is drive all day long. [ light laughter ] giving everybody their presents and their gifts that they ordered on amazon and u.p.s. for my kids! [ light laughter ] i work so hard! >> no. i can't. i can't -- >> jimmy: to make sure that they don't have to sleep in the back of the truck. [ laughter ] >> you got the man, job. you got the job. >> jimmy: i got it? yes, i got the job! [ ding ] that's what i wanted. [ cheers and applause ] that was an emotional interview with sarah paulson. "ocean's 8" opens in theaters june 8th! we'll be right back with chris hardwick! thank you! [ cheers and applause ]
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: our next guest is the host of "talking with chris hardwick," which returns for season two, june 17th at 11:00 p.m. on amc. he'll also host "red nose day special" which airs live this thursday at 10:00 p.m. right here on nbc. please welcome chris hardwick! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: oh, i love you. chris hardwick is here! [ cheers and applause ] >> hello! >> jimmy: oh! >> oh, yes. >> jimmy: i love when you're here. >> so nice! it's great to be here. >> jimmy: i don't get to see you enough. >> i know. >> jimmy: congrats on
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everything. >> thank you. >> jimmy: your career, as well as your life. >> thank you. >> jimmy: dude, you're now married. >> yeah. i got married almost two years ago. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's been that long? >> yeah, it's been that long. >> jimmy: oh, my. and how is married life? >> i like half the audience was like, "oh, two years. that's not exciting at all." >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] how is it? has it changed you at all? is it different, married life? >> well, it's good. i mean, like, the marriage is great. i'm -- i inherited a stepcat when i got married. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh. >> that she had had for 12 years, and so then i came in and the cat was not cool with that at all. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it was like, "you're not my real dad. meow." >> yeah, exactly, exactly, yeah. [ laughter ] i'm like, "shut up! i'm the guy banging your mom!" [ laughter ] you know, the cat was like, "no, no." well, the cat, i mean, i guess from the cat's perspective, he's sort of like a guy that got passed over for a a promotion. you know what i mean like? >> jimmy: yeah, he's like -- >> some guy got hired in from the outside above him. he's like, "i've been here 12 years. what are you doing?" >> jimmy: yeah. yeah. >> he was not cool. and so he -- >> jimmy: but what does he do to you? like he just he gives you dirty looks, or -- i don't know cats. [ light laughter ] >> well, all cats give dirty looks. all cats give dirty looks. >> jimmy: they do. i'm not really a cat person. i don't really know.
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>> you're not a cat person? i wasn't before either, but basically he declared war very early on by throwing up on my feet at 7:00 in the morning, every morning. [ light laughter ] [ audience ohs ] and he knew what he was doing because he would wait until she would leave. the door would close and i'd be asleep and i would just hear, "blat, blat, blat." [ laughter ] and then just -- and the he would just pace back and forth and just make eye contact, like -- [ laughter ] "what are you going to do? what are you going to do? who's she going to believe?" you know? [ laughter ] where's your god, meow?" [ laughter ] you know, it was like -- like, what are we doing? [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, where is your god, meow. oh, my god. >> i wish she had done -- ♪ a meowment like this! [ laughter ] meow meow meow meow ♪ >> jimmy: are you still doing "the nerdist?" >> yeah, yeah. i still do a podcast and still doing all sorts of fun stuff. >> jimmy: so you must've had a a great year? i mean, what a great -- for movies alone. >> it's been amazing. so far this year and it's not even over yet. we had "black panther." we had "avengers: infinity war." >> jimmy: yeah. >> we just had "solo."
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we have "antman 2" coming out, you know. we have "incredibles 2." i mean, it's a big year for our kind. >> jimmy: for our -- [ cheers and applause ] >> it's a big year for our kind. >> jimmy: i know you get into it. you got to take a picture with ron howard? >> i got -- yes. i took a picture with ron howard. there was a pre-oscar party. "esquire" had this magazine party and there was a really fancy photo area. and all the stars from "solo" were there. and so obviously i was just creepin' around like, "hey, what are you guys doing?" you know? [ laughter ] and ron howard came up and i photobombed him. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it was great. this is the picture. it's a little creepy looking but there it is. [ laughter ] there's me. >> jimmy: i mean that is -- >> this is the bucket list item i didn't know i needed to check off. >> jimmy: that is fantastic. >> but there it is. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's the greatest photobomb i've ever seen. >> but i also -- i mean, in full disclosure, just as for credit to ron. i asked him if i could photobomb him. like, i didn't just photo bomb him. >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> he was -- he took his pictures and i was like, "hey, ron, can i take a picture with you?" and he goes, "sure," and he kind of went to put the arm
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around me and i'm like, "no, now i'm going to give you a a task." so i said, "i want to photo bomb you." and immediately he was like, "yeah, i get it. i'll just stand here." like he totally got it. >> jimmy: yeah, right. so he did this pose? >> and i just stood behind him. yeah, he did this pose and this is me. >> jimmy: that's him acting and he knew that you were doing it. >> he knew that i was doing this. >> jimmy: he's a genius. >> and i think they actually put this in "esquire" magazine. >> jimmy: is that right? >> the photobomb actually made it into "esquire" magazine. yeah. >> jimmy: can we just talk about red nose day? >> yeah, please. >> jimmy: you're hosting this and man, oh, man -- god, this thing made me really laugh hard. and only because you're okay. >> yeah, i'm fine. >> jimmy: but they -- [ laughter ] they announce you. it's the big thing, live, nbc, it's -- [ laughter ] >> this is why i love live television so much. >> jimmy: i just love it so much. i want to show everyone a clip. >> this the very beginning of the show last year. >> jimmy: the very beginning of the show last year. chris hardwick, "red nose day special." watch this. >> red nose day presentation. [ cheers and applause ] >> oh! there he goes! >> jimmy: that's a great --. >> i already fell. down he goes. >> jimmy: it's a great fall, dude. >> down he goes.
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yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i thought you were a a pro. dude, it's so good, and it's so -- it's so good, but you really went right into it. and you're like, "yeah, that's right. that's the way to start off." >> well, so, basically, they had to -- we shot outside here at 30 rock. and it was raining all day. and they had this glossy material that looked great on television but it was essentially a slip and slide. [ laughter ] so all day long people were falling on their ass and i'm like, "i'm not going to do it." and as soon as they were like, "three, two, one, go," i was like, "hello!" and my -- >> jimmy: oh. [ laughter ] >> feet were up in the air and the -- >> jimmy: it's a perfect fall. >> and i actually was -- i argued with people on twitter who were like, "nice pratt fall, bro." i'm like, "it was a real fall! [ laughter ] you know? >> jimmy: that is such a real fall. it has raised over $100 million. >> over $100 million here in this country in the last, like, three or four years. yeah, it's a really great thing and it's for -- it's for charity. so if you see those red noses at, like, walgreens or duane reade or whatever. you buy one for a buck and you put it on and it supports charity. and, you know, we're going to raise hopefully more. the last year we raised, like, $30 some million. >> jimmy: wow. >> so, hopefully we're -- [ cheers and applause ] yeah. >> jimmy: it's a great thing. it's a great cause. this thursday, nbc, like -- we're giving the whole prime
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time, everything is going to be for red nose. >> yeah, there's a a red nose-themed "america ninja warrior." red nosed-themed "hollywood game night" and our special is live at 10:00. >> jimmy: then live. >> watch me try to walk properly! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no. >> it'll be great. >> jimmy: you're going to be fantastic. we love you, chris hardwick. >> thank you, i love you, too, jimmy fallon. >> jimmy: please, come back. >> thank you so much. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is chris hardwick. >> grr. >> jimmy: watch "the red nose day special" this thursday at 10:00 p.m. on nbc. we'll be right back with danica patrick. stick around, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ baby,
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is one of the most popular racecar drivers in history. and this sunday we will see her race for the final time back at the indy 500. please give a warm welcome to a a legend in her sport, danica patrick! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: nice to see you, pal. >> oh, thank you! good to be seen. >> jimmy: thank you for being here. i just want to say, your instagram telling everybody, "hey, don't feel sad for me." >> yeah. >> jimmy: it was one of the
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most well-written things i've ever read. >> oh. well, that's a big compliment. thank you. >> jimmy: oh, no, i loved it so much. it was great. i mean, are you bittersweet? are you psyched? are you pumped? do you want to win or what's happening? >> well, i did decide to retire myself. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so, you know, i'm good with the decision. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but i think the reality of things is a little different. so i'm sure it will be emotional. kind of like when i announced that i was going to stop full-time racing last year, at the end of the year. i lost it. and cried for a couple of minutes and then cried again. and then i said, "no, really. i have good news i want to tell you. i'm excited about what i want to tell you. but hang on, i can't get it together." [ laughter ] and then i said was going to do the daytona 500 and the indy 500 to finish my career so we are -- we're days away from the end of it all. >> jimmy: we're days away from it'll br driving this - vehicle right there. >> yep. that's it. it's a matchbox car. it's actual size. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a -- it's a a tiny, tiny car. yeah. and you're staying -- >> no, actually i'm doing about 235 right there, so -- >> jimmy: wow! [ audience oohs ] i mean, i don't understand how you guys do this. >> well, we did qualify and i think our top speed was close to 240. >> jimmy: oof! so, i mean, are you going to miss --
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>> turn and flat. >> jimmy: are you going to miss that? >> don't move the wheel too fast when you're moving that fast. >> jimmy: oh, i won't have any -- i will never be in that -- [ laughter ] >> don't -- don't -- >> jimmy: situation ever. no, never. but, i mean, is this -- are you -- do you have a shot at this? are you going to win -- >> yeah -- >> jimmy: on sunday? >> well, you know, i think that -- i was doing an interview about this earlier and, you know, there's a hope, right? you hope to win. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and then there's the reality of it. and so i would say in the beginning it was like, "i hope to win." but the reality of it is becoming more and more real as time goes on. so -- first day i got in the car, horrible. couldn't turn the wheel. i don't know what happened. i mean, i'm strong enough, clearly. [ light laughter ] and, but then they -- they fixed some things. so i got better. and then day two went good. and then, you know, we come back for the actual qualifying week. and then i go out and i'm in the top nine, which means i'm in this little special elite group that gets to qualify at the end of the day on sunday. and then i end up seventh. so, like, you know, i'm -- it's becoming more and more realistic. >> jimmy: it's very, very possible, yeah. >> so, yeah. >> jimmy: what do you plan on doing? do you have any plan? >> well, i -- i make wine. >> jimmy: you do make wine, by the way. >> yeah, i do. >> jimmy: how did you get involved with this? >> yeah, somnium.
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um -- i like to drink. >> jimmy: there you go. [ laughter ] me, too. i don't have my own vineyard! [ light laughter ] >> well, you should! >> jimmy: yeah. >> or just you can have this. it's delicious. >> jimmy: thank you, i'm taking this. >> so there's that. [ laughter ] i have a clothing line called warrior. i had a book called "pretty intense", that has recipes that i wrote in it and photographed. so i got my first hand at photography last year. and a workout program and mind-body stuff. and so i'm kind of like health and wellness. >> jimmy: yeah. because -- >> that's wellness ithe highest level. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: was that wellness or is that health? >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's both. >> yeah, it's -- >> jimmy: it's health and wellness. >> antioxidants. >> jimmy: is that right? [ light laughter ] >> that's why you feel so good. >> jimmy: it's good for you. that's why you feel so great, yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: so i think you go, oh, i'm just going to do this this sunday. and then -- just pressure off. i'll go to napa, i'll chill out, i'll make some -- >> yeah, i'm just -- >> jimmy: i'll cook, i'll drink wine. >> checkered flag on it all. >> jimmy: but then, no, you have a big announcement here. you are hosting this year's espys. >> i am. >> jimmy: on espn. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you're going to be great. >> i have a thing for doing things for the first time as a
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a woman. so i'm going to be the first woman to host the espys. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's right! you'll be fantastic! danica -- >> oh, my god. i need some advice! talk to me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no. you can do this. you can totally do it. they'll take care of you over there. we know a couple people that have done it before in the past. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you'll knock it out of the park. >> i'm in good hands, but it's -- >> jimmy: that's exciting! >> uh-huh. i'm so glad you guys have laughed at me a couple of times. [ laughter ] it's empowering. >> jimmy: you see -- you get the comedy bug. and right now, for the race, you'll be staying at your parents' house? is that true? >> that's correct. my mom makes me coffee in the morning when i get up. and she takes the dogs out for me. she makes me dinner when i get home. she washes my clothes. like, she loves washing clothes. that stuff is warm and on my bed and folded before i can, like, you know, get to the end of your show at the end of the night. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and does that -- does that calm you down for the race? or does that make you happy? >> well, it's a few less things to do. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly, it is. [ laughter ] >> and it's just nice. you know, who doesn't want to
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go back to mom and dad's? other than half of you, probably. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: danica, i want to say cheers. >> oh. mm-hmm. >> jimmy: and we'll be rooting for you sunday. here's some of your wine right now. >> oh, gosh, it's -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it'll be such a great ending either way. come back -- >> thank you. >> jimmy: you can come back next week if you want. >> oh, thank you. >> jimmy: and good luck with hosting the -- >> oh. >> jimmy: oh, you'll be great in the espys. >> thank you! >> jimmy: danica patrick is hosting the espys july 18th. [ cheers and applause ] has her final race ever this sunday at the indy 500. foster the people perform after the break. stick around, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: performing their hit "sit next to me" from their album "sacred hearts club", give it up for foster the people. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ yeah it's over it's over i'm circling ♪ these vultures got me prayin' man this hunger feeling something rotten ♪ ♪ last time i saw you said what's up and pushed right through ♪ ♪ then i tried to catch you but we're always on the move ♪ ♪ and now it's over
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we're sober symptoms of the culture ♪ ♪ and the night ain't getting younger last call's around the corner ♪ ♪ feeling kind of tilted and i'm pouring out the truth ♪ ♪ just fading out these talkers 'cause now all i want is you ♪ ♪ just sayin' come over here and sit next to me ♪ ♪ we can see where things go naturally ♪ ♪ just say the word and i'll part the sea just come over here and sit next to me ♪ ♪ i'll take you high high ♪ ♪ well i ain't frontin my intention got your man outlined in chalk ♪ ♪ it's a midnight intervention got no plans to make it stop ♪ ♪ last time i saw you
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said you wanna keep it light ♪ ♪ but i'm here to tell you i'm not trying to change your mind ♪ ♪ it's alright ooh it's alright ooh ♪ ♪ yeah come over here and sit next to me we can see where things go naturally ♪ ♪ just say the word and i'll part the sea just come over here and sit next to me ♪ ♪ i'll take you high high high high ♪ ♪ it's alright
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it's alright yeah it's alright yeah it's alright ♪ ♪ come over here and sit next to me we can see where things go naturally ♪ ♪ just say the word and i'll part the sea just come over here and sit next to me ♪ ♪ ♪ it's alright
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's how you do it. that's pressure right there. you don't want to mess that up. ah, fantastic, fellas. foster the people! [ cheers and applause ] "sacred hearts club" is out now. my thanks to sarah paulson, chris hardwick, danica patrick. foster the people! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots, right there, from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- emilia clarke, star of "ibiza," actress phoebe robinson, cocktails with jeffrey morgenthaler. featuring the 8g band with steven wolf. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. according to the "boston globe," white house staffers who compose president trump's tweets intentionally include grammatical and spelling errors to mimic trump's style.


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