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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  February 8, 2019 11:34pm-12:38am PST

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in the forecast. thank you control room. you can see scattered spotty rain for saturday morning and heavier rain, 5:00 to 10:00 tomorrow night. that was the next round again. 5-10 saturday night. spotty chance on sunday. it will not be nonstop rainfall, everyone will find a break there and then we get a break on monday. how is that, that is good. and next tuesday and wednesday, we are watching for an atmosphereic river coming h-- coming in. it's not locked in, but we will watch it. >> thank you for joining us on this friday night. >> be safe, bye-bye. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his
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guests -- rebel wilson, willie geist, comedian nathan macintosh, and featuring the legendary roots crew >> questlove: 10 12! >> steve: now here he is jimmy fallon. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. welcome! thank you for watching. welcome, everybody. welcome. welcome, welcome to "the tonight show", baby. [ cheers and applause ]
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this is it. thank you so much for being here. well, you guys, valentine's day is less than one week away. [ audience oohs ] yeah. and you'll know your boyfriend waited too long to make a a dinner reservation when he asks, "so, do you want to eat at 4:30 or 10:15?" [ laughter and applause ] "i'm flexible. whichever one." let's get to some news here. today in washington, president trump had his yearly physical exam. it was not good news. the doctor told trump to build a wall around his refrigerator. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] oh, wow. >> steve: hey! >> jimmy: i saw that this week, trump held a signing ceremony to launch a new women's initiative. which is nice, but sometimes i think trump is less focused on what he's signing, and more focused on what he's signing with. he really loves pens. [ light laughter ] he's obsessed -- watch this. >> now we have a president that's waiting to sign it. i have pen in hand. so i signed it with one pen and then i hand out pens. i'm going to give some pens out. i have some beautiful pens over here.
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so the big question is -- who gets the pen? i see there's one pen, but we're going to get plenty of other pens. you know, get me some additional pens. can you make the pen in black? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. he's like, "i love a good pen. that's why my vice president is mike pens." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] "i love pens." and guys, did you hear this story? last night, it came out that the "national enquirer" tried to blackmail amazon's jeff bezos by leaking his naked selfies. [ light laughter ] it's pretty crazy. but amazon does have a long history of mishandling packages. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] [ applause ] this is for real. did you hear this? >> steve: what's this -- >> jimmy: dude -- >> steve: they leaked the photos? >> jimmy: the president of the "national enquirer" threatened the bezos's team. the guy's name at the "enquirer" is daniel pecker. [ laughter ] >> steve: so, pecker leaked -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, no, wait. hold on. hold on a second. wait a second. hold on.
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i'm saying the guy from the "national enquirer" is david pecker. >> steve: so david's pecker. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: david. >> steve: who? >> jimmy: i don't think his middle name is -- >> steve: it's david? >> jimmy: his middle name starts with "s"? david s.? >> steve: i don't know. >> jimmy: david s. pecker? [ laughter ] >> steve: david s. pecker? >> jimmy: no, no, no, it's bezos. >> steve: bezos's pecker. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, david -- pecker versus bezos. >> steve: david pecker leaked photos. >> jimmy: no, he's got all of those photos. >> steve: that's nuts. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well i mean, it's not -- it's not easy -- it's not easy to get those things off of his phone, you know. >> steve: no, it's hard. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: certainly is. >> steve: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: can we see a photo of jeff bezos? [ laughter ] today, amazon said if you like nude photos of jeff bezos, we also suggest nude photos of howie mandel. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: what? how would they do that? >> jimmy: that's very thoughtful of them. how would they know? you guys, it is fashion week here in new york.
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[ cheers and applause ] yeah, feel the vibe? a lot of famous designers are debuting their new lines. but it turns out washington, d.c. was also full of interesting looks this week. for instance, here trump's son-in-law jared kushner. he's modeling the haunted funeral home collection. [ laughter and applause ] next up here's president trump. his look is from the my tie is drunk collection. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] and finally, here's bernie sanders. he's wearing the whoever smelt it dealt it line. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] fashion week. guys, listen to this. i read that more and more people are offering weed at their weddings. [ scattered cheers ] that's not good if your parents look at the person you're marrying and go, "i'm going to need a hit of that." [ laughter ] i mean, i don't know. that's right, more people are handing out weed at the wedding. guests love it until the couple's first dance is a a 45-minute song by phish. [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots, everybody! [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh! that is our pal, the stunning, the luminous, the mysterious, the super talented erykah badu right there. >> steve: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, erykah badu. you can catch her starring in "what men want" opposite taraji p. henson in theaters now. thank you for being with us tonight as always. we love you. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you for having me. >> jimmy: we have a fun show tonight. from the new movie "isn't it romantic," rebel wilson is here tonight. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: later in the show, rebel and i are facing off in a a beat battle. stick around for that.
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>> steve: ooh. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: that's going to be good. plus he's the anchor of "sunday today with willie geist." willie geist is stopping by. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's a good show. and we have great stand-up comedy from nathan macintosh, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] gonna be a fun show. guys, today is friday and that's usually when i catch up with some personal stuff. you know, i check my inbox, return some emails and of course, send out thank you notes. i was just -- [ cheers and applause ] i'm running a bit behind today. so i thought, if you guys wouldn't mind, i'd just like to write out my weekly thank you notes right now. is that okay with you guys? [ cheers and applause ] [ impersonating trump ] >> steve: "what a beautiful pen." [ laughter ] >> steve: "we're gonna need more pens." >> jimmy: "these are really great pens. we need more pens like this." [ light laughter ] >> steve: "i want a wall of pens." [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: "this pen is -- this pen is" -- >> steve: "yes? what is the pen is? [ laughter ] speaking of pen is" -- >> jimmy: "speaking of pen is." [ laughter ] jeff bezos should -- yeah, yeah, yeah. speaking of pen is -- >> steve: that pecker?
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>> jimmy: what's that? >> steve: that pecker. >> jimmy: somethin' else. >> steve: he's something else, man. there's a vast difference between pecker and bezos. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: that's all i'm saying. >> jimmy: yeah. no, i understand. >> steve: it's crazy. >> jimmy: how did it leak? how did it leak? >> steve: it's just -- >> jimmy: i think it was a a problem with his staff. [ laughter ] >> steve: the staff is there. you know what i mean? he's got a staff. he's got a staff that can cover everything. you know what i mean? >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> steve: and in that vain -- >> jimmy: hey, hold on, hold on. >> steve: i'll say -- wait, what's that? >> jimmy: in that vain? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: hold on a second. >> steve: yeah, what is it? >> jimmy: you're getting a a little testy. [ laughter ] >> steve: i'm sorry. you're right. you're right. >> jimmy: no problem. >> steve: just trying to have a a ball here. [ laughter ] i don't want to get sacked, you know. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i mean, this is just the beginning. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: this is just -- >> steve: just the tip of the -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: iceberg. >> steve: iceberg. >> jimmy: iceberg. >> steve: iceberg. >> jimmy: james, can i get some thank you note writing music please? ♪ you know it's funny, james. trying not to laugh. >> steve: come on.
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>> jimmy: you know it's funny. come on, man. >> steve: come on. [ light laughter ] come to the light. come to the light. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, teleprompters, for giving us the one night a year when our president uses sentences that actually make sense. [ laughter ] [ applause ] ♪ thank you, people who get engaged on valentine's day, for really going above and beyond to depress your single friends. [ laughter and applause ] it's like, i get it. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: can't you do it tomorrow? ♪ [ light laughter ] thank you, super bowl ads for beer and pizza, for spending millions of dollars to advertise things that everyone's already pretty on board with. [ laughter ] we don't have a problem -- >> steve: hey -- >> jimmy: what? >> steve: pizza? >> jimmy: what is that invention? >> steve: i never thought of that! >> jimmy: pause it -- can we rewind that? [ light laughter ] >> steve: wait, wait, wait. >> jimmy: what is beer? [ light laughter ]
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ahh. >> steve: what are we gonna do? [ phone ringing ] >> jimmy: hello? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: dude. >> steve: what? >> jimmy: why did i say hello when i called you? [ laughter ] >> steve: i don't know dude. i don't have caller id. >> jimmy: sorry, man. >> steve: who is this? >> jimmy: i was just watching the big game. >> steve: yeah? >> jimmy: yeah, and guess what i saw. >> steve: what? >> jimmy: a thing called, uh, pizza. >> steve: what!? that's insane! what is it? >> jimmy: you want to see something insane. >> steve: what is it? >> jimmy: open your e-mail. [ light laughter ] >> steve: oh, my god. that's a picture of david's pecker. [ laughter ] [ talking over each other ] >> jimmy: pizza and beer, man. i'm telling you, man. >> steve: oh, look at that. beer's got a good head on it. oh, that's not the beer. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i got to go dude. >> steve: scrolling. >> alexa: sorry, i didn't catch that. >> steve: all right alexa. >> jimmy: alexa with three xs. >> steve: yeah. [ laughter ]
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♪ >> jimmy: thank you, car seat warmers for having two settings, low and satan frying bacon on my butt cheeks. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> steve: i think i might have the flu. [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, facebook, for turning 15 this week. if it wasn't for you, i'd never know that my high school lab partner's sister is having a a gender reveal party on tuesday. [ applause ] ♪ thank you, hotels that put bathroom mirrors in front of the shower, for saying, "you know what would help you relax this vacation? having to take a long, hard look at your own naked body." [ laughter ] [ applause ]
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♪ >> jimmy: thank you, key holder by my front door, for silently taunting me about where my keys should be every time i lose them. [ cheers and applause ] thank you guys have it. those were are thank you notes. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with rebel wilson, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ (vo) only verizon was ranked #1 by rootmetrics. #1 in 3 opensignal mobile experience awards. #1 in video streaming according to nielsen. and #1 in network quality according to jd power. we're proud to be the only network to win in all four major awards-- not because of what it says about us, but what it means for every one of our customers. if you haven't experienced america's most reliable network, now's the best time. because you'll get apple music, on us.
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[indistinct conversation] [friend] i've never seen that before. ♪ ♪ i have... ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to the "tonight show." we're joined right now by one of our favorites, please welcome rebel wilson! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, we love rebel wilson. >> hi. >> jimmy: rebel. you have been in a lot of movies that involve music. you were in the "pitch perfect" movies. >> i was, i was. [ cheers ] >> you even sing in your new movie, "isn't it romantic?" well tonight i thought we'd see which of us knows more music in a game we call beat battle.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ beat battle beat battle ♪ >> is this like a beat off? >> jimmy: kind of. no, no that's -- you're talking about the -- >> that means something in australia. >> jimmy: no, no, it's a beat battle. no, no. it's not a beat off. >> all right how do we play this? i've never played this before. >> jimmy: the roots will play a a random beat and we'll take turns singing songs that fit over that beat until the buzzer goes off. okay, or until one of us runs out of songs. there are no winners or losers, that being said, if you can't think of a song you lose. [ laughter ] you ready to play this? >> let's give it a go, jimmy. this sounds hard. >> jimmy: no, you probably -- >> it sounds harder than a rif off. [ light laughter ] it does. >> jimmy: here we go. >> let's give it a go. >> jimmy: roots can you give us a beat? ♪ >> jimmy: so just any song. >> you go first. >> jimmy: ladies -- you're my guest. >> you go. ♪ >> jimmy: are you sure? you want to go first? >> yes, yes, think of a song right now that matches this beat. go. >> jimmy: here we go. ♪
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♪ some nights i stay up crashing in my bad luck some nights i call it a draw ♪ ♪ is it worth it let me work it i put my thing down flip it and reverse it ♪ ♪ ♪ mmmbop ba duba dop shoobi du bop ba duba dop ba du bop ba duba dop ba du, yeah-e-yeah ♪ ♪ people of the world spice up your life every boy and every girl spice up your life ♪ ♪ people of the world spice up your life oh what a night late december back in '63 ♪ ♪ what a special time pull up the monster automobile gangster ♪ ♪ with a bad bitch that came from sri lanka yeah i'm in the conga call her will wonka ♪ ♪ you could be the king but watch the queen conquer ♪ [ buzzer ] [ cheers and applause ]
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>> i'm a -- monster! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. judges, judges. judges that was close there. they're giving it to rebel for that one. [ cheers and applause ] i think it was a tie. i think it was a tie. judges give it to you. i didn't hear that buzzer go off. >> that is fun, jimmy. >> jimmy: it's fun, right? >> but i feel like we should make it harder. [ cheers and applause ] don't you reckon? >> jimmy: well, we can do another round. >> okay, because it's valentine's day, why don't in the next round, not only do we have to think of the songs but the songs also have to be about love? [ audience ohs ] a challenge. >> jimmy: i can do, i can do, i can do love songs. i'm a very romantic guy. >> yeah, i can -- love songs. >> jimmy: i can so do love songs all night long. >> i got love in song. >> jimmy: i have love in songs. >> yeah. >> jimmy: all right, let's do this. roots, can you give us a beat here? ♪ you want to go first, or you want me to go first? >> yeah, ladies first, because it's more romantic that way. okay.
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♪ ♪ but i won't hesitate no more no more you cannot wait i'm yours ♪ ♪ what i want you got it and it might be hard to have you make my dreams come true if you're on it ♪ ♪ let's do it [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ride it my pony on it my pony ride it jump on it i love you always forever ♪ near and far closer together i love you ♪ ♪ always together near and far closer together i know i can treat you ♪ ♪ better than he can i want to know what love is i want you to show me ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ can you blow my whistle baby whistle baby let me know ♪ ♪ can you blow my whistle baby will be love let's talk about sex baby ♪ ♪ let's talk about you and me all the good things and bad things ♪ ♪ all my life i pray for someone like you i wish i found you i love i love you ♪ ♪ i love you i love you ♪ >> you are just singing i love you? >> jimmy: i think that's a a song. >> that's not a song! >> jimmy: i love you not a a song? is i love you not a song? [ cheers and applause ] >> that's not a song. >> jimmy: quest, is i love you not a song? >> that's not a song. >> questlove: if you do barney, like -- ♪ i love you you love me we're a happy family ♪ ♪
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>> jimmy: that's what i meant. next time, i got this. rebel wilson, the champ, right here! [ cheers and applause ] stick around, more with rebel wilson after the break, everybody. we love you. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> can you feel the love tonight? >> jimmy: love is a battle field! this is you shopping. and this is you maximizing at t.j.maxx. you shopping, you maximizing. you shopping, you maximizing. find the brands you love and get more you for your money, every time. it's not shopping, it's maximizing. start maximizing today! maxx life at t.j.maxx discover your inner hero. and unlock the power...
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♪ one plus one equals too little too late ♪ ♪ a sock-a-bam-boom ♪ who's in the room? ♪ love is dangerous ♪ but driving safe means you pay less ♪ ♪ switch and save ♪ yes, ma'am excuse me, miss. ♪ does this heart belong to you? ♪ ♪ would you like it anyway? [ scatting ]
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest tonight stars in and produced the new movie "isn't it romantic," which is in theaters wednesday, february 13th. everyone, please welcome rebel wilson! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: rebel wilson, we love you. thank you for playing beat battle.
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you crushed, my pal. >> oh, thanks. i missed you. >> jimmy: yeah i did, i missed you too. >> are you still married? >> jimmy: i am still married. [ laughter ] yeah, absolutely. >> i had to try. >> jimmy: i want to hear -- you have a story -- i heard that you had to get saved from a a mountain or something. >> yeah i went skiing in a a place called aspen over the holidays. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, i've heard of that. >> and i don't really know how to ski and also i'm in the middle of filming a movie right now called "cats" -- >> jimmy: oh, wow. i heard of it. >> and i would have got busted if i couldn't be a cat. you know, if i break my legs or my arms or anything. >> jimmy: sure of course. >> and my brother goes, he says, "oh, it's easy skiing. it's just, you need to know pizza and french fries." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> but when i got out on the slopes i was just hungry. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: never skied before? >> i have but i forgot. >> jimmy: yeah. >> how to do it. and so i was just like kind of collapsed on the slopes and -- because i lost all feeling in my left foot.
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>> jimmy: wait, why though. >> it was the ski boot. it was like too tight. like, i probably would have been an excellent skier if it wasn't for those boots. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so, you're blaming the boots. >> yeah, yeah, 100%. >> jimmy: what did you do? >> well, i had to get rescued. >> jimmy: so, you went up the chair lift. >> yeah i went all the chair lift and then i came down, like, that far and then i needed to get rescued. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did you just, like, lay down. >> it started badly because as soon as i got of the chair lift i fell. [ laughter ] like, i was one of those embarrassing people. >> jimmy: and they have to stop the -- >> and they have to stop the whole chair lift. and i'm like, okay sorry guys. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we want to ski. we're tired of being stuck here on the thing. >> so, the ski patrol came and they came with this sled which is basically just a bit of metal with a plastic tarp. >> jimmy: yeah. did you get -- >> it's like, it wasn't motorized. >> jimmy: did you get helicoptered out? >> no, they just said, "you go in that and then we're going to go over this cliff. [ laughter ] because we need enough speed to get you to the bottom."
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: what? >> so we just went over a a cliff, straight down. it was just a man pulling me on a sled to safety. [ laughter ] yeah, it was pretty embarrassing. >> jimmy: yeah. that's traumatic. >> it was scary. >> jimmy: yeah, don't do that any more. >> yeah, no. >> jimmy: you're too important. >> i'm fine though you guys, i'm fine. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're too important. we need you, we need you for more entertainment and more comedy. let's talk about "isn't it romantic." i thought it was fantastic. >> ah, thanks. >> jimmy: well done. i know you're very funny and beautiful in the movie, acting as well but you also produced it. >> yeah it was my first movie i produced. >> jimmy: that's a big deal. [ cheers and applause ] >> i love it. >> jimmy: do you like it? you do? >> yeah, because you get a lot of power when you're the boss. so, and we filmed all in new york city all over manhattan. [ cheers and applause ] excellent. and so, some days the traffic was bad so i'm like we're getting a helicopter to work.
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>> jimmy: we have to do it. >> because i'm the producer. >> jimmy: because i'm the producer and that's what we have to do. >> yeah. and also i get to be in testing of the film where we show it to audiences of about 350 people and then they get to give comments. >> jimmy: so, this is before the film comes out. they test it in front of an audience. >> yeah and normally actors are not allowed in those testings because people say -- about the actors and it could be damaging to you emotionally. [ laughter ] but because i'm the producer i'm like i'm getting in there, so, i went in a disguise. >> jimmy: did people recognize you at all? >> no, nobody recognized me. i was a woman of disguise, jimmy. >> jimmy: did they say -- did they say stuff about you? >> that's me in my disguise. [ laughter ] check it out. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't know if i would have recognized you either. >> no. so, i would sit there eating popcorn and stuff with all the other people. >> jimmy: did you eat it with a a spoon? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's how you eat popcorn?
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>> yeah because i was in disguise, i was not doing what i normally do. >> jimmy: oh, so this character will eat popcorn with a spoon. [ laughter ] >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: oh, interesting. >> and it was really cool to hear peoples feedback and we changed the movie accordingly. and, luckily, everyone said really nice things about the movie. >> it's great. it's a great premise too. i love it. you've got to be so happy that it's about to come out. >> yeah, i'm so proud of it. >> jimmy: it's the perfect valentine's day movie, i think. >> oh, my god. don't see an action or a horror movie on valentine's day. you've got to see a love movie. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: let me set up what i can set up for you. you are a character that doesn't really -- you don't really believe in those romantic -- >> no, i'm very cynical to love and romantic comedies, i think they're crap. in the movie is, kind of, similar to me in real life and then i get flung into a world of romantic comedies. >> jimmy: and not only a world of romantic comedies, but it's also pg-13 romantic comedy. >> yeah, thanks for reminding me about that, because i couldn't get any good action with liam helmsworth because it was pg-13.
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's what makes it funny. >> and also jimmy, all of the swearing is beeped out. ingenious devices. but when i'm filming it on the day, like, there's one scene in central park, which i think is in the clip -- so, i'm just standing there swearing my ass off, just like, i won't do it now. >> jimmy: right. >> but just like screaming and there's like hundreds of tourists just going, "what is that? [ laughter ] something wrong with that girl?" >> jimmy: what is she doing? >> she's just in the middle of central park screaming, like, curse words. >> jimmy: when you see the movie because then you will understand the comedy behind "isn't it romantic." it's clever. it's great. and thank you so much. congrats on it. i want to show everyone a clip. here's rebel wilson in "isn't it romantic." take a look. [ cheers and applause ] >> let's just think about this. i have an amazing apartment and a stupid cute dog. okay, sidekick. i have a great job that any woman that works with me has
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now become my mortal enemy. i keep falling down all the time. and i'm talking to myself out loud. think i'm trapped in a a [ bleep ] [ bleep ]. my life has become a [ bleep ] [ bleep ]. come on! what did i do to deserve this? my life's become a [ bleep ] [ bleep ] [ bleep ] [ bleep ]. romantic comedy. ♪ and it's [ bleep ] pg-13. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's great. rebel wilson, everybody! "isn't it romantic" is in theaters february 13th. we'll be right back with willie geist, everybody. stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, guys. we have a great lineup of shows for you next week. adam sandler will be here. [ cheers and applause ] kendall jenner will be here. [ cheers and applause ] steve martin and martin short will be dropping by. [ cheers and applause ] we've got music with avril lavigne and florida georgia line. [ cheers and applause ] and we will be highlighting a a favorite charity of ours every single night. it's going to be a great week. stay tuned. we'll be right back with willie geiss, everybody. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i'm captain obvious and hotels.com
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is the anchor of "sunday today with willie geist", which airs on sundays at 8:00 a.m. right here on nbc. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome willie geist! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: thank you for coming back. >> of course, of course. >> jimmy: you know i'm a fan of willie geist. >> thanks, man. >> jimmy: last time you were on the show was not your first time in "the tonight show" studio. >> it was not the first time. as a matter of fact, it was a a couple years ago. i was in this studio, standing in your mark, right there, where you do your monologue. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> it was bring your child to work day at nbc. and i'm pretty sure all the kids who came to work with their parents thought they get to meet jimmy fallon at the "tonight show" studio. >> jimmy: oh. >> so out comes willie geist, who they assume is the warm-up act. i'm like, here's the story of my career. [ light laughter ] talking about how i worked my way up through cable news to the "today" show. what a great story, right? >> jimmy: it is a great -- yeah, sure. >> and i'm looking up, and a a lot of blank stares with the kids. and i say, "any questions, guys?" i thought it was going pretty well. and the kid raises his hand and goes, "when do we meet jimmy?" [ laughter ] i swear to god. >> jimmy: i didn't even know this this was happening. >> and i go, "oh, no."
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no, you were on hiatus. you weren't even in the building. [ light laughter ] and so the next kid raised her hand, "is tina fey here?" [ laughter ] and it went on like that for like ten minutes. and finally, one kid who took pity on me, he goes, "um, what's your favorite kind of pie?" >> jimmy: there you go. come on. >> i'm gonna give you something you can answer, so -- >> jimmy: which is what -- >> it's good to be back. >> jimmy: what is your favorite kind of pie? >> thanks for asking, jimmy. i think it's key lime pie. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: is it really? >> you like key lime? >> jimmy: i do enjoy key lime pie. >> it's a good pie. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: decent tart to it. it's also sweet. it's a lot going on. >> i love a good cheer for it. key lime pie. >> jimmy: why not, man? [ light laughter ] how are the kids doing? last time they were here hanging out. they were so cute. oh, my gosh. >> they love you so much. they're sorry they couldn't be here tonight. i was in a suit going out tonight, which they usually ignore. they go, "oh, where are you going now with a tie on?" >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i say, i'm going to this event or that and they don't look up from their ipads. i say, "i'm going to see jimmy." "what? you're going to see jimmy?" >> jimmy: oh, really? >> they love you so much. so their big thing is, we're going on vaca -- a week from tonight, we'll be in puerto rico. we're going on vacation to puerto rico. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, that's the best thing you can do.
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>> which i love. which i love doing. >> jimmy: awesome that you're doing that. >> i love it. we're going to do some service projects down there. we got married in puerto rico. we love puerto rico. >> jimmy: oh, really? [ cheers ] >> but here's the deal. >> jimmy: yeah. >> they watched you and tariq on the zip line in puerto rico -- [ light laughter ] and they're like, "book us on that zip line." >> jimmy: oh, no. >> so they haven't seen your account after the fact of the zip line. that you had to be rescued from it. [ light laughter ] but then -- >> jimmy: it was worse than rebel wilson's story. i mean, it was embarrassing. i had to be rescued off the zip line. >> right. >> jimmy: it was -- i still can't look at tariq in the eye. [ light laughter ] >> their main thing is like, "so, can we go right from the airport to the zip line that jimmy and tariq did?" so we're doing the two-mile, 95 mile-an-hour zip line. >> jimmy: you go 95 -- dude, it doesn't end. >> and it's your fault. it's your fault -- [ light laughter ] that i have to do that. >> jimmy: it doesn't end. i'm not sure if i'd ever do it again. i got to be honest. >> do i -- i guess i've got to do it. >> jimmy: it was so frightening. >> you can't send your 9-year-old alone -- [ light laughter ] i guess i have to do it. >> jimmy: yeah, you have to. yeah, you got to do it twice. one with each kid. [ laughter ] >> meanwhile i saw tariq outside. he's like, "it was the best thing i've ever done in my life."
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>> jimmy: oh, we are so different. we are so different. >> a tale of two zip lines with these two. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. a tale of two zip lines -- you showed this photo the other day, i thought it was so cute. this is you and your wife, christina, in high school. [ audience aws ] >> yeah, yeah. so that's high school. christina and me, in the football years in new jersey. and they popped it up on the "today" show, when we were talking about the super bowl, they threw it up there. and i said, and i'll never live this down, i said "oh, that's great. that's a picture of my current wife." i said. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a beautiful thing -- that's a beautiful thing to say -- but this is the best part. this is the best part. you got a tweet from your wife said, "babe, did you just show my high school cheerleading photo on the 'today' show and refer to me as your current wife? [ laughter ] my phone is blowing up." >> so, my wife -- >> jimmy: she's your one and only wife. >> she's my one and only. so, she's working. she's got jobs. she -- her friends are texting her, and they just want to confirm. she's like, "have there been other wives?" [ light laughter ] what i meant to say was, "in that picture she was my girlfriend. currently she's my wife." but she didn't want to hear that.
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: my current wife is the best. >> it's a very expensive mistake. very expensive mistake. >> jimmy: how's everything going on "sunday today"? >> it's going great. yeah. >> jimmy: it's one of my favorite shows. i told you, you're forever on my dvr, forever. i love it. [ light laughter ] i do. i watch it, i mean, i get up early with the kids now. but i watch you all the time. >> i appreciate it. you've been on "sunday today." >> jimmy: it's a great show. [ scattered cheers ] >> yes, yeah. >> jimmy: it's a great show. >> this weekend, we're coming up on our -- a couple of months from now, our three-year anniversary. and this weekend we've got bradley cooper, who is a buddy of yours. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: bradley cooper and i once had an interview that was not even a real interview. >> okay. so we've talked about -- bradley and i have talked about this. i've known bradley for a while. and his thing -- that moment where you just laugh for 15 minutes and couldn't get through your interview. so he's like -- >> jimmy: he had these funny wigs on and -- i just can't get into it. >> go on youtube. it's incredible. >> jimmy: it's long. >> but bradley says he'll be walking down the street. and people are like, bradley cooper. and he's like, what is it, "silver lining's playbook"? >> jimmy: yeah, "a star is born"? >> "the hangover"? "a star is born"? i directed it.
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they're like, "you and jimmy when you laughed for 15 minutes." [ laughter ] he's like, "that's my legacy." >> jimmy: i ruined his career. >> laughing with jimmy fallon. but he's such a good dude. you know him. >> jimmy: he's the best. he deserves everything -- >> he does. >> jimmy: all the accolades, everything. he works hard. >> the movie's so good. and you know he's just a a genuinely good dude. and he's got the humble brag thing. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> where you sit down with him for an interview and like, there's a make up artist. he's like, "i'm good, i don't need make up." and you're like -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: come on, dude. >> he does that -- >> jimmy: but the truth is he doesn't need make up. >> he doesn't need it. >> jimmy: that's the problem. >> he comes in off the street and there's nobody's with him. he just rolls in, takes his baseball hat off. he's like, "yeah, let's go." >> jimmy: exactly. [ light laughter ] >> he and clooney are both like, "nah, i'm good. i don't need make up." >> jimmy: i was in walgreens the other day. and i was just getting valentine's candy and heard these two girls going, "and his eyes. oh my gosh, his eyes, when he looked at her." and blah blah blah. and i was like, "i bet you they're talking about bradley cooper." [ light laughter ] and then she's like, "yeah. and then gaga sang." i go, ah, they were talking about bradley cooper. [ light laughter ] and i know the scene too. because i looked at his eyes and was like, "oh, wow."
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[ laughter ] >> oh, yeah. we both got sucked into it. >> jimmy: oh, my god. >> when he rolls down the window. >> jimmy: yeah. >> "i want to get another look at you." >> jimmy: oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> yeah. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: "sunday sit down" is now a podcast. >> yes. >> jimmy: explain to me, talk to me about this. >> well, the cool thing is, is that, you know, you get seven or eight minutes of an interview that airs on tv. >> jimmy: like we've done. >> we've done that before. but there are like, 45 other minutes that don't make it on tv. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so the "sunday sit down" podcast, which you can get on apple or wherever, is the full interview. uncut. we just start at the beginning. we put an out point at the end. and we put the whole thing up on. so, you know, you get 45 minutes of bradley cooper or jimmy fallon, or whoever you're into. >> jimmy: that's fantastic. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: hey, good for you, buddy. we love you. willie geist. [ cheers and applause ] >> thanks, jimmy. >> jimmy: keep up the good work. >> thank you. >> jimmy: willie geist, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] check it out "sunday today" right here on nbc. sundays at 8:00 a.m. we'll be right back with stand up from nathan macintosh. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest will headline the gotham comedy club in new york march 29th and 30th. making his "tonight show" debut, please welcome the very funny, nathan macintosh! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. thank you, everybody.
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i, um, i got to be honest, i'm a little bit envious of the people who are visiting new york because i live here and it is very expensive, man. the rent goes up every single year for no real reason at all. every year a landlord knocks on your door and is like, "wow, you're still living in there? [ laughter ] i guess we made last year too easy for you, huh." they should change the slogan of this city. like, if you could make it here, you could have owned land in a lot of other places. [ cheers and applause ] you could have had a house and a boat and a real family. why are you doing this to yourself? [ laughter ] and if you ask people they're like, "well the pizza is good." i need to know where the pizza is that bad that new york rent is the option. [ laughter ] pizza is just bread sauce and cheese. it's hard to mess it up. there's only two levels of pizza, great and fine. [ laughter ] completely okay. i've never had a slice of pizza so bad i'm like, you got to be kidding me! [ laughter ] get out of my face!
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everybody in this room has had microwave pizza. it's absolutely disgusting but it's pretty good. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i've been trying to stay away from pizza. i'm trying to be healthier. i started going to a gym mostly because i just got broken down by all the billboards and slogans, you know? you're walking down the street and there's just giant billboards of hot, half-naked, sweaty people glaring at you with a slogan underneath. like, hey, anybody think about having sex with you today? [ laughter ] didn't think so. hit that treadmill right now. [ laughter ] when you are healthy, though, there are a lot of benefits. like, even just going to a a place that's serve healthy food because they care about how it looks. they want it presented nice. fast food places do not care at all. all food from a fast food place looks like it's made during the riots. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] the bag is crushed.
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things are squished. like, is the manager in an arm bar? how is there mustard on top of the bun? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] there are also no fights at health food places, ever, never. because nobody gets drunk and wants an arugula salad. [ laughter ] doesn't happen. nobody is drinking and is like, "anybody else thinking quinoa?" [ laughter ] never. but people do get drunk and they want nuggets. [ laughter ] and they want them now! give me those nuggets now or i will dragon kick you through that drive through window. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] when you -- when you get a chance, youtube "vegan restaurant fight." [ laughter ] you can get to the bottom of all those videos because there are none. [ laughter ] and then youtube fast food fights. wow, it is nine days of videos. [ laughter ] you can't even watch it all
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because as you try, people just keep uploading more. [ laughter ] it is hard to be healthy. like, even if you get health drinks, right, on the side of health drinks they have warnings. they have warnings on health drinks that say, "warning only drink one of these a day." why? why can you only have one can of vitamins a day. there's nothing on the side of a bottle of rum that tells you to calm down at all. [ laughter ] nothing. the only thing it says is drink responsibly. what does that even mean? [ laughter ] hey, if you're going to get drunk make sure you're doing your taxes at the same time. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] have a few shots and go vote. make this a responsible night. this is how hard it is to be healthy. apples can kill you! apples. i read a thing that said that apples soak up pesticides. so, if you eat a lot of apples, you can die. like, an apple a day could literally bring a team of doctors running your way. [ laughter ]
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screaming, "put the apple down! you're better off snorting doritos." [ laughter ] if you are going to be healthy you have to get organic food, right. have to get organic food. and that so expensive. like, and organic food at one point in time was just called food. [ laughter ] it was just called food and then they modified food and they were like, "well, we can't call this modified food. so, we'll call modified food, food, and food, organic food." [ laughter ] now you got to make a real decision with yourself when you go to the grocery store. like, do i want the good strawberries that aren't going to hurt me. nothing wrong with them but they're $5. or do i want the modified strawberries. that are huge too. they're pulsating in the package. [ laughter ] you can't even close the lid. they're picking fights with blueberries beside them. but they're $1.75. [ laughter ] it's been a rough month. i hope these strawberries don't attack my kids.
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[ laughter ] thank you very much everybody. appreciate you. good night. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: nathan macintosh. you can see him at the gotham comedy club, march 29th and 30th here in new york. [ cheers and applause ] my thanks to rebel wilson, willie geist, nathan macintosh, once again! [ cheers and applause ] erykah badu! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots from philadelphia, pennsylvania. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great weekend. i hope to see you next week. bye-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- ellie kemper, former senator from missouri, nbc news analyst claire mccaskill, music from young the giant. featuring the 8g band with venzella joy. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is wonderful to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump announced yesterday that he will postpone his state of the union address due to the government shutdown.

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