tv The Late Show With Stephen Colbert CBS May 10, 2018 11:35pm-12:38am PDT
y choi wi the late slow is next. the next newscast starts tomorrow morning. captioning sponsored by cbs >> the president of south korea has suggested president trump be awarded the nobel peace prize for his work to calm tensions on the korean peninsula. >> do you deserve the nobel prize, do you think? >> everyone thinks so but i would never say. >> and now a response with from the nobel prize. >> please, please, don't give me to that man! i know the nobel committee has a spotty past and president obama was a bit of a rush job but this guy will use me for hush money to pay off a porn star or worse eat me, he thinks i'm chocolate inside! ( crying ) >> announcer: it's "the late show with stephen colbert" with stephen colbert. stephen welcomes annette bening,
wyatt cenac and musical guest leon bridges, featuring jon batiste and "stay human." and now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! thanks, everybody! welcome one and all to "the late show." i'm your host stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) if you watch this show and i hope you do, i give the president a lot of the business, you know the zingers, but it's nice when you see good things happen in trump's america.
for instance, early this morning, the three american hostages freed by north korea landed safely in the united states. ( cheers and applause ) >> great news. welcome home. got to give it up when good things happen. the president was there to meet the freed men, along with melania, who's hoping to be freed next. ( laughter ) ( piano riff ) trump made some brief remarks. pretty simple. all he had to do was not thank the murderous dictator who had imprisoned these men in a windowless black hole. >> we want to thank kim jong-un who really was excellent to these three incredible people. ( audience reacts ) >> stephen: no, he wasn't excellent to them. and you know the hint that he wasn't? they look happy to be with you. ( laughter ) okay? that's how low the bar is.
( applause ) ( piano riff ) you don't negotiate the release of people from an excellent situation. "don't worry, we're sending in seal team six to extract you from that all-inclusive beach vacation." ( laughter ) and trump wasn't done praising the hostages' kidnapper right in front of them. this time because kim let them go before his meeting with mike pompeo. >> and he was nice in letting them go before the meeting. frankly, we didn't think this was going to happen, and it did. >> stephen: coincidentally, that's also what it says beneath trump's official portrait. ( laughter ) ( piano riff ) he didn't know! ♪ no, he couldn't know! >> stephen: eventually going to carve his head on mt. oopsy daisy. ( laughter )
of course, no trump accomplishment would be complete without bragging about ratings. >> i want to thank you all. it's very early in the morning. i think you probably broke the all-time in history television rating for 3 o'clock in the morning, that i would say. >> stephen: yes, that's how history judges all presidential accomplishments: "did it do better than an infomercial for slap chop?" ( laughter ) some are attributing this diplomatic victory to trump's plan to "out-crazy" north korea. "thanks for releasing the hostages, kim. now, i'm sending them back. didn't see that coming." ( laughter ) "all right? i been eating paint chips ." ( laughter ) trump is fond of saying that every other u.s. president was predictable, which let their adversaries run rings around them. yeah, obama was so predictable when he killed osama bin laden instead of surprising the world by thanking him.
( laughter ) and, reportedly, trump is all in on the cray-cray. "no one knows what i'm going to do. they are over there trying right now to analyze every statement i'm putting out to get a sense of what's going to happen." yes, we are. ( laughter ) also, north korea is. adding, "but the fact of the matter is, nobody knows." "least of all me. my negotiating team is a ouija board and that raccoon that picks the super bowl winners." ( laughter ) of course, if kim jong un wants insight into the president, maybe he should hire trump lawyer and man being politely asked to leave the strip club, michael cohen.
yesterday, i told you that cohen took money from a russian oligarch and corporations like at&t, and novartis, but that's just the tip of the bribe-berg. according to one g.o.p. strategist, right after the inauguration, cohen was cold-calling people and saying, "i don't know who's been representing you, but you should fire them all. i'm the guy you should hire. i'm closest to the president. i'm his personal lawyer." that was pretty bald influence peddling. he was slightly more subtle when he bought the ad bench in front of the white house. ( laughter ) part of the reason he was so blunt in his cash grab is that cohen didn't get an official white house position at the urging of ivanka trump and jared kushner. who explained: "hey, being an unqualified white house staffer? that's kind of our thing." ( laughter ) but what's cohen supposed to do? not cash in on knowing the president?
so, he reached out to the private sector, telling potential clients how frequently the two spoke, and even showed photos of himself with trump. "here's me and mr. trump. here's the secret service pulling me away from mr. trump. they're good guys. i've even got a code name. it's: "how did you get in here?" ( laughter ) and cohen had a real opportunity, as one lobbyist explained, "everyone said trump won't win. everyone had all of these hillary consultants lined up and realized when trump won, they had nobody." a lot of people were wrong about that election. that's why i hastily hired my consultant, mr. daniels. ( cheering ) ( piano riff ) mmm... he has a lot of influence, and i am frequently under it.
( laughter ) have that put in a safe place. and it wasn't just cohen, so as one g.o.p. consultant put it, everyone was hiring "trump whisperers" in 2017. a trump whisperer is like a dog whisperer because, well, there's a lot of indoor peeing and hitting with rolled up magazines. ( laughter ) ( piano riff ) meanwhile, nordstrom rack has apologized after calling the police on three black teens who were shopping for prom. no! not nordstrom rack. now where are those kids supposed to get last season's irregular michael kors polo shirt in xxx-l? ( laughter )
apparently, the three friends "noticed store employees closely eyeing them and following them through the aisles." so now you know what it takes to get customer service at nordstrom rack. if i go in there, it's like "hello! does anybody work here? i've got two armloads of nightgowns!" ( piano riff ) ( laughter ) and on top of being followed, one of the men took off his hat to try on a shirt, then, when they left, he realized he left his hat in the store. but when they went back to get it, they were approached by an elderly white woman" who referred to them as "a bunch of bums," and asked, "would your parents and grandparents be proud of what you're doing?" to which they said, "shopping at nordstrom rack? probably not." ( laughter ) ( piano riff ) ( applause ) worth the walk. worth the walk. and this may shock you, but there's just a tiny bit more racism in america. at duke university, a pair of baristas were fired after a duke
executive complained about them playing a rap song at the on-campus coffee house where they worked. hold on-- if we're allowed to complain about the music at coffee shops, i'd like a warrant signed out for michael buble's arrest. ( laughter ) lovely voice, but had enough. we have seen far too many of these types of stories popping up in recent months, which leads white people like myself to ask, "what can we do?" and i'd like to answer that question with an installment of my newest segment, "late show tolerance tips." tip number one... stop being paranoid jerks. well, that's it for "late show tolerance tips." ( laughter ) ( applause ) we've got a great show for you tonight. annette bening is here. but when we return, i show you this year's best mother's day cards. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing )
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( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: jon batiste and "stay human," everybody! give it up for the band! ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: yeah! >> stephen: okay. friendly reminder once again, mother's day is sunday, when we all observe -- yeah, give it up for your mothers! ( cheers and applause ) why not? they deserve a special day. >> jon: that's right. >> stephen: it's when we all observe the annual tradition of
taking mom out for lunch and getting enough mimosas in her so that she won't notice you're signing her card under the table. and she loves it. moms love your cards. but even the best mothers day cards had to start somewhere. and the people who write them don't always nail it on the first try. which is why tonight we're taking a look at some early efforts in our segment "first drafts!" ( cheers and applause ) as always, with first drafts, i need a little help with this. any moms here tonight? ( cheering ) come on up! there you go, please, have a seat. have a seat. >> thank you. >> stephen: okay. young lady, what is your name? >> hillary. >> stephen: do you have a last name? >> hillary yamowits. >> stephen: thank you for joining us.
happy mother's day. >> thank you. >> stephen: here's a mimosa for you and some eggs benedict. >> thank you. >> stephen: and some cutlery, but i urge you not to eat it because i think we made this around 3:00 this afternoon. okay? now, have you ever seen first drafts? >> i have. >> stephen: you have? okay. so you know what we're going to do, i'll explain it to the people out there because you already know, we've got a series of wonderful greeting cards here for mother's day. we'll show you a mother's day card the final draft, and then i'm going to ask you for the first draft, the one they didn't get right and they had to correct to make it a proper mother's day card. have i sold the premise to you? >> i got it. >> stephen: hold these and hand these over to me. where are you from? >> atlanta, georgia. >> stephen: and you are a mother? >> three beautiful boils. >> stephen: wonderful. who's the most beautiful? ( laughter ) tell me later. tell me later. okay, it's the youngest one.
( laughter ) can i have the first card there, please? all right, thanks. well, here's a really nice card. here's one that says, "happy mother's day to the coolest mom in the world. >> i like that one but the first said, "amber's mom lets us smoke weed in their mini van." >> not so much. >> stephen: not so much? which mom are you? >> the cool mom. >> stephen: is that smoking weed in the minivan? >> maybe not so much. >> stephen: not so much. just a little bit. >> okay. >> stephen: are you here with your whole family? >> i'm here with my oldest son and my father and my step-mom. >> stephen: that's awfully nice. what are you guys doing? anything fun? >> well, we're on the stephen colbert show. that's pretty fun. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: i've got my own
right here. >> that's nice. >> stephen: cheers. to you, mom. okay, so, let's see, here's one that says happy mother's day. mom, you are forever in my heart. isn't that nice? >> that is nice. >> stephen: but the first draft said, happy mother's day, my doctor says the angina is hereditary. you healthy? >> yes. >> stephen: passed those beautifully. there you go. here's one that says "happy mothers day to a super mom." >> i like that one, too. >> stephen: but the first draft said, "your womb is now part of the marvel extended universe." ( laughter ) have you seen the avengers? >> have not yet. my boys want to see it, though. >> stephen: they haven't seen it yet?
>> the youngest one did. >> stephen: how old are we talking here? >> simon's 14, jared is 17 and benjamin is 19. >> stephen: 19, okay, great. and they get along and everything? >> no. ( laughter ) yeah, they do. they're good kids. they're good kids. >> stephen: again, when the camera's off, we'll talk. >> right. ( laughter ) >> stephen: this one's nice. "mom, it's always been just you and me." isn't that nice? a lilt daughter to their mom. it's so nice. although the first draft read, "where did you hide dad's body?" ( laughter ) based on a true story. >> yes. >> stephen: can i have tha,one? >> yeah. >> stephen: all right. here's one, "nothing slows you down, mom." because mom's are always going. >> i know that. >> stephen: the first draft read, "the cops said you were on so much meth, the taser had no effect."
( laughter ) >> that's a no, ma'am for you. >> stephen: that's a mom. here's one, "no one does it like you, mom." here's one that says you are the sunshine in our family's garden. the second one says but you are also the gremlin in our liquor cabinet. takes the edge off. >> yeah. >> stephen: very nice. have you seen any other late night shows while you're here? >> no. >> stephen: there are a bunch of others ones. >> i thought it was just you. >> stephen: that i like. yes. >> stephen: here's one that says, "your love shows in everything
you do." but the first draft said, "your underwear shows in everything you wear." ( laughter ) now, listen -- listen -- i understand that reaction from the audience, and that's why this was a first draft. they didn't sell this one. that's why. >> right. wouldn't have worked. >> stephen: now, what do you want like in case the kids are watching? what do you want for mother's day? >> you know, they give me so much love every day, and -- ( audience reacts ) no, it is true. i am very grateful to have three healthy, wonderful kids. my son is home from college. it's good to have all of them together. >> stephen: so, like, running shoes in. >> new earrings. >> stephen: new earrings. doesn't matter. new earrings. ( laughter ) here's one that says "happy mothers day, thanks for always being there." but the first draft said, "you need to get your own place. rick and i haven't had sex in
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( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! welcome back to the show! my first guest starred in "20th century women," "the kids are all right," and "american beauty." her new film is "the seagull." >> which of us looks younger? well? which of us looks younger? >> you do, of course. ah! there, you see?
and why? because i work. i'm constantly doing something. i experience life. you just sit still in one place, not really living. yes. and i have a rule -- i never think about the future. i never think about old age or death. what will come in life will come. >> stephen: please welcome annette bening! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hello. hi. >> stephen: hey. thanks for being here. >> i'm so excited. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: well, i'm a long-time fan. >> thank you. >> stephen: we've spoken once or twice over the phone over the years, but i'm a huge fan of
your work in the drifters, "american beauty," "the kids are all right," "20th century women," and "the president" with michael douglas. can't you and michael douglas just be the president and first lady? ( cheers and applause ) it's just president porn at this point, and that's saying something given this president. ( laughter ) but you are a famous actress and i understand you have a calling that surprised me. you were a professional cook. >> well, that might be a little bit of an overstatement. i was a cook on a boat on a scuba diving boat. >> stephen: did you get paid? i did. >> stephen: you're a professional. ( laughter ) hold on, go back. you cooked for scuba divers? >> yes, i had become certified as a scuba diver. in order to become certified you have to do a boat dive. this is like a sport fishing boat, kind of, like, 65-foot. >> stephen: where are we talking? >> like, southern california, i grew up in san diego.
>> stephen: right. o i had to do the boat dive to get certified. so i went out on this boat on a trip. we had to jump off the boat and swim in the ocean, scuba dive, the whole thing. so somehow i got the idea i might be the cook. there's a small galley. i went to the dock in my mother's station wagon. i remember driving down, being nervous, walking down, being bill johnston was his name, wonderful guy who owned these two boats, so i was the assistant cook for the first weekend because they're weekend trips, then i became the cook, and i did it for a year. >> stephen: hold on for a second. >> cooking for about 20 to 30 people. >> stephen: were you taken with scuba diving so much you thought i need to stay on this boat? or were you, like, turns out i just really want to cook, i don't want to get in the water anymore? >> no, i want to scuba dive, too. of course, you could scuba dive when you went out, but also just the adventure of it.
i was a teenager. >> stephen: wait, how old were you? >> i was 16. >> stephen: 16 years old. yeah. >> stephen: were you living out there day and night? >> they were one and two-day trips mostly but sometimes five-day trips. so the first part, i was finishing high school. we would leave on a friday night and drive all night to get to the channel islands which is where we would dive. >> stephen: big sharks out there. >> no. >> stephen: there are great white sharks out there. >> i never saw one. >> stephen: they didn't tell you but there are a lot of great white sharks out there. i watch the discovery channel. ( laughter ) >> they had little leopard sharks but no big sharks. >> stephen: okay. it was an incredible experience. it was a lot of fun. >> stephen: at what point did you say that's enough? >> i did it for a year. part of that time i graduated from high school and i was just working for a while, which is cool. easy to save money, you can't spend it you're out. then i went to community college. i went to mesa college in
san diego. once i started school seriously i started doing plays. >> stephen: to study acting? and other things. >> stephen: good. it was a really great theater department which i loved and got really into then. >> stephen: i'm a little jealous of you for several reasons, but one of the reasons is, when i meet somebody who's met somebody i admire, like i know some people who got to be on carson and work on carson and i'm jealous of those people. but you spent time are harper lee, the author of ""to kill a mockingbird"." nobody met her. after she published the book, she didn't publish again. she just stayed in her house. >> she was really shy and didn't like giving interviews or being famous. >> stephen: how did you -- well, she was being honored at the library association in los angeles, and it's this really beautiful event outside,
and she was very friendly with gregory peck's family who were very involved in the library association. >> stephen: of course, atticus finch. >> so they invited her to the ceremony. she took the train, i remember she told me. >> stephen: where does she live, alabama. >> yes. >> stephen: the train to los angeles? >> yes, because she didn't like to fly, and she got her tuxedo at a catalog. i remember that. she told me that. by the way, she loved the evening. as shy as she was, it was interesting to meet her. she was delighted to be there. she loved everyone. they were in awe of her. >> stephen: maybe she did like going out but no one invited her. ( laughter ) maybe she was the pretty girl all the boys are afraid to kiss. ( laughter ) now you're doing the seagull. there's a new film "the seagull." you play an actress who is quite a famous one and a wealthy one in this play, and substanc stant
lovski the great teacher and actor preparer, saved the play which is his most famous play but saved it from obscurity by remounting it two years after it was a flop the first time. he said there is no such thing as small parts, just small actors. what does that mean to you? >> i guess that means you're supposed to be grateful no matter how big or small your part is. >> stephen: dade you take that to heart when you were a young actor? the thing he said i remember was the actor should have iron discipline. i remember that. did you try the make every part a big part? >> oh, god, it's so much fun. i was in a shakespeare festival in colorado, the colorado shakespeare festival, and we did three plays and were each in two
of them and the one i was the smaller part in was hamlet and i was a court lady and we would spend the entire time trying to make each other laugh. those of us that had the small parts, very unprofessional. >> stephen: how did hamlet feel about this? >> he didn't know about it? he's the melancholy came. he's the chipper. >> he is melancholy, but we had a blast. >> stephen: i understand you shot this in upstate new york acting as the russian countryside. >> right. >> stephen: were you out in the fields and everything? >> there was some of that. >> stephen: nature and bears and all that? >> mainly what we needed was a house and a lake, it's in monroe, new york. >> stephen: yes. we found one because our production designer is this genius woman named jane muskie had actually gone to the house when she was a kid, because her grandmother was part of the jewish population who collectively bought a house they'd go to together. so there was actually this
russian history in this particular house we found but jane had been there as a kid so there's a lake and a house and it was just what we needed. >> stephen: snakes, bears, anything like that? >> no. but there were ticks. >> stephen: oh. that's far more dangerous. >> and very scary. >> stephen: that's far more dangerous. >> exactly. >> stephen: did you have to check each other at the end of the day? >> we did a lot of that. >> stephen: wow. did you get any footage of that? just for bloopers, is the outtake real at the end? ( laughter ) >> no. >> stephen: okay. well, thank you so much for being here. >> thank you. >> stephen: lovely to see you. thank you for having me. >> stephen: "the seagull" is in theaters tomorrow. annette bening, everybody. we'll be right back with wyatt cenac! thank you so much ( ♪ ) it's the details that make the difference. only botox® cosmetic is fda approved to temporarily make frown lines, crow's feet and forehead lines look better. it's a quick 10 minute treatment
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i support the affordable care act, and voted against all trump's attempts to repeal it. but we need to do more. i believe in universal health care. in a public health option to compete with private insurance companies. and expanding medicare to everyone over 55. and i believe medicare must be empowered to negotiate the price of drugs. california values senator dianne feinstein ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody! thanks, everybody!
these people give and they give. >> jon: oh, yeah, they're feeling it! >> stephen: generous people. my next guest is an emmy award winning comedian who got his start at "the daily show." he now has his own show, "wyatt cenac's problem areas." please welcome, wyatt cenac! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) i was saying backstage i really love the light spring tweed. >> thank you. >> stephen: so professorial. with these sneakers, i feel i should be a lawyer at the x games. >> stephen: really? like ready to help somebody sue in case they get hurt? >> yeah, like, oh, yeah you hurt yourself on a half pipe and you want to make some money, come see me. >> stephen: here's my card. exactly.
i'm a skate board chaser. ( laughter ) >> thank you to the three people who clapped for that. >> stephen:. >> stephen: three very nice people. >> yeah. >> stephen: did you think of doing anything other than being a comedian? i thought maybe law school or something like that. could you be a lawyer or some other occupation? >> i really didn't have a skill set for anything else. i didn't because, when i was in high school, i had to take one of those tests that was like one of those that's like what color is your umbrella or parachute. >> stephen: a johnson o'connor aptitude test or something like that? >> yeah, and it was for this internship program where you took the test and it was like a couple hundred kids and everyone took the test and based on your answers, they would place you in some sort of spernship. >> stephen: that's cool. yeah, so they were, like, kids where it's, like, oh, you seem like journalism, so we're
going to get you set up at the local newspaper. oh, business, okay, we'll get you at bank or smflght and for me i took the test, and the answer that came back was stunt man. ( laughter ) >> stephen: how is that a choice? >> i feel like it's just one they kind of slipped in there just to see if anyone was paying attention. >> stephen: do you know what it is about you that qualifies you for stunt man? >> i don't know. i mean -- >> stephen: enjoys long falls and sudden stops. >> pretty much, yeah. but then they told me they couldn't place me in an internship so they kicked me out. >> stephen: where were -- i'm fine now! >> stephen: where was this? this was in texas. >> stephen: okay. not a lot of stunt men work in texas. >> well, i grew up in dallas, and, so, i thought maybe they would, like, hook me up with walker texas ranger or
something. ( laughter ) i was, like, oh, yeah, cool, like, i could be one of the guys in the crowd that chuck norris kicks. ( laughter ) they were, like, yeah, we don't know how to reach him. >> stephen: you were at "the daily show" what years? >> i joined in 2008. >> stephen: so long after i was gone. i left in 2005, yeah. >> did you think we overlapped? were you, like, oh, man, it was such a blur, i don't remember. were we there at the same time? >> stephen: well, there were a lot of people there. a lot of people came and went. >> sure. >> stephen: i wasn't sure whether oliver and i overlapped. we just missed each other. >> yeah. >> stephen: okay. so did you know what you were into, what your opinion in for when you got a job at "the daily show"? because before you got a job as a correspondent, it's hard to explain what the job is. >> yeah, i had no clue. i had no idea what the job would entail. even when i got the job --
weirdly, i found out i got the job when i was standing outside your old studio when i was at the -- i had gone -- like, i had auditioned for the job and then i had a friend laura craft, who was a writer on your show. she took me on a tour and, as we were standing outside so i could walk back to the car, i get the phone call that they've offered me the job, and, so, laura and i are there together, and, so, she's listening in on the whole phone call, and she's just, like, oh, my god, this is to great! and just, like, so happy and loudly screaming while we're standing outside as your audience line is cuein queuing . and they hear everything. when i leave to go get to the car, your entire audience was, like, congratulations! ( laughter ) >> stephen: that's nice. for what? >> stephen: and did you tell
them? >> no, i didn't know what to say. so i was just, like, you will see. and then ran away. >> stephen: so now you've got the new show on hbo, it's called "wyatt cenac's problem areas." what do you do in this? is this also field pieces and that sort of thing? >> it's a lot of field pieces. what i wanted to do with the show is i felt like at "the daily show" we would talk about stories night after night after night, and i thought what if i could find stories i could live with a little longer and take an entire season and talk about and really dig in and do field pieces around and, so, for this season, we decided to look at policing in america. so, over ten episodes, we went to ten different cities and tried to examine different issues around the relationship between community and law enforcement. and looking at it from the perspective of, you know, are there things that can help us
find some common ground like when we look at and have these conversations around law enforcement in this country, we have these polarized national conversations that get covered on, you know, cable news shows, but for the people who live in cities that have been affected by police misconduct or police brutality, they still have to move forward and what does that look like and what programs get created that try to help prepare that relationship and cities doing things and resources that are being used to kind of help create societies where law enforcement community can work together. >> stephen: and i don't mean this facetiously, but and comedy. >> that whole thing didn't sound funny to you? ( laughter ) >> stephen: because that's a challenge. >> that is a challenge, yeah. no, that's definitely been one of the challenges in trying to make a show like this is that, also, you know, i'm not a
journalist, so i've got to find -- you know, people are watching because they're, like, where's the joke, dummy? >> stephen: well, congratulations. >> thank you. >> stephen: nice to see you again. >> good to see you. >> stephen: "wyatt cenac's problem areas" airs friday on hbo! wyatwyatt cenac, everybody! back with a performancely leon bridges!ca aerobics enthusiasts near this b&b? because hotels.com lets me do me. mmm. foot juice. hotels.com. you do you and get rewarded. i had a very minor fender bender tonight! in an unreasonably narrow fast food drive thru lane. but what a powerful life lesson. and don't worry i have everything handled. i already spoke to our allstate agent, and i know that we have accident forgiveness. which is so smart on your guy's part. like fact that they'll just... forgive you...
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proof of less joint pain and clearer skin. this is my body of proof that i can take on psoriatic arthritis with humira. humira works by targeting and helping to block a specific source of inflammation that contributes to both joint and skin symptoms. it's proven to help relieve pain, stop further joint damage, and clear skin in many adults. humira is the #1 prescribed biologic for psoriatic arthritis. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection. want more proof? ask your rheumatologist about humira. what's your body of proof?
because there's so much to choose from. listen to your pets. they're your best friends, so they don't want you to spend more than you have to. if you want to save big on pet accessories, you gotta go to ross. >> stephen: here performing "beyond" from his new album, "good thing," please welcome back leon bridges! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ don't wanna get ahead of myself feeling things i've never felt ♪ it's kinda hard for me to explain her personality and everything ♪ brings me to my knees, ooh
she shines me up like gold on my arm ♪ i wanna take it slow, but it's so hard i love to see her face in daylight ♪ it's more than just our bodies at night ♪ but she's really tempting me, ooh ♪ do you think i'm being foolish if i don't rush in? ♪ i'm scared to death that she might be it ♪ that the love is real that the shoe might fit ♪ she might just be my everything and beyond ♪ beyond space and time in the afterlife ♪ will she have my kids? will she be my wife? ♪ she might just be my everything and beyond ♪ i wanna bring her 'round to meet ya
♪ i think you'd like her kind demeanor ♪ i know that grandma would've loved her ♪ like she was her own she makes me feel at home, ooh ♪ do you think i'm being foolish if i don't rush in? ♪ i'm scared to death that she might be it ♪ that the love is real that the shoe might fit ♪ she might just be my everything and beyond ♪ beyond space and time in the afterlife ♪ will she have my kids? will she be my wife? ♪ she might just be my everything and beyond ♪ i give up, i'm in love crying out to you
♪ o me o my i can't explain she might just be my everything ♪ o me o my i can't explain she might just be my everything ♪ o me o my i can't explain she might just be my everything ♪ so do you think i'm being foolish if i don't rush in? ♪ i'm scared to death that she might be it ♪ that the love is real that the shoe might fit ♪ she might just be my everything and beyond ♪ beyond space and time in the afterlife ♪ will she have my kids? will she be my wife? ♪ she might just be my everything and beyond ♪ o me o my i can't explain she might just be my everything
at the same time that violent crime went up 18% in san francisco. in la, mayor antonio villaraigosa put more police on the streets and cut violent crime in half. california's police chiefs trust antonio for governor. to california schoolsd, need big change. marshall tuck is the only candidate for state superintendent who's done it before. less bureaucracy, more classroom funding. marshall tuck for state superintendent. marshall tuck.
celebrate friendship and beyond at the first ever pixar fest with all new fireworks and your favorite park parades. only at disneyland resort. we can now simulate the exact anatomyh care, of a patient's brain before surgery. if we can do that, imagine what we can do for seizures. and if we can fix damaged heart valves without open heart surgery, imagine what we can do for an irregular heartbeat, even high blood pressure. if we can use analyze each patient's breast cancer to personalize their treatment, imagine what we can do for the conditions that affect us all. imagine what we can do for you. brought business and labor together to expand career training and apprenticeships, invested in transportation
and helped create over 200,000 living wage jobs. antonio villaraigosa for governor. >> stephen: that's it for "the late show." tune in tomorrow when my guests will be mayim bialik, daniel bolud, and special appearances by melissa mccarthy and run the jewels. now stick around for james corden. goodnight! captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ♪ are you ready y'all to have some fun to have some fun ♪ feel the love tonight don't you worry 'bout ♪ where it is you come from it'll be all right ♪ it's the late, late show