tv The Late Show With Stephen Colbert CBS May 11, 2018 11:35pm-12:37am PDT
late show with stephen colbert is next. >> have a great weekend. take care. captioning sponsored by cbs >> this mother's day, get your mom something she really wants from the donald j.s it trump online store, offering these actual mother's day item, like a "women for trump," t-shirt, and a pink "make america great again" hat. but that's not all. your mom will also enjoy this "grap em by the brunch" t-shirt.
a box of candy with the wall separating the white and dark chocolates. and an adjustable frame so mom can make her photos perfect. ( laughter ) happy maga's day! >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, don jr. gets a job. plus, stephen welcomes mayim bialik daniel boulud with special peernlses by melissa mccarthy and run the jews. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: thank you very much. hey, everyone! it's friday! friday! thank you, everybody, thanks so much! that's amazing. that is amazing. the electricity-- the electricity in this room. that is the dictionary dove nifgz a friday audience right there. ( cheers and applause ) these people-- these people-- these people should be preserved and brought over to the national treasures! ( cheers )
and they're all-- they're all-- they're all so physically attractive too! >> jon: looking good. looking good. looking good. >> stephen: welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) listen, folks -- just a quick programming note: a reminder, sunday is mother's day. or as mike pence called it, "karen's day." we're also less than six months away from the 2018 midterm elections, when democrats are hoping to take back the house and possibly even the senate-- ( cheers and applause ) but-- but-- but-- and it's a big but-- but republicans are deploying their secret weapon: trump son and reason to leave the bar, donald trump jr. d.j.t. jr. is planning to help republican candidates this summer by taking on a big role in the midterms, which means he's going to have to take some serious time off from...
( laughter ) what does he do? what does he do? he a suit filler? hair-gel storage locker? i'm not sure what he does. but don jr. has already started helping, because a couple weeks ago, he hosted a "secret fundraiser for vice president mike pence's older brother, greg pence, who is running for congress in indiana." that's an exciting double bill if if you love trump/pence and don't care which ones. i can't wait to find out how his brother eric helps with the mid-terms. "they gave me a very important role-- ( laughter ) ( applause ). ( cheers ) i-- ( laughter ) "they gave me a very important role handing out bumper stickers in front of the grocery store. ( laughter )
i have lost the bumper stickers. there was a breeze." ( laughter ) meanwhile-- ( cheers and applause ) i need lip lubricant. what are you laughing at, him over there? meanwhile, one g.o.p. representative is introducing a bill that would force post offices to display pictures of trump and pence. and not the pictures that you're hoping for. the bill is the brainchild of new york representative and man whose fetish is doing it in the bed, dan donovan. it all started when donovan received a complaint from a constituent that pictures of former president obama and vice president biden were on display during their administration at her local post office, but pictures of president trump and vice president pence were never put up. okay, i mean, i get it. but think of the postal workers.
nobody wants to look at trump all day. for pete's sake, the head of my research department has to do that all day, and it's really taken its toll. ♪ ♪ >> stop it! stop it! please! i beg you! >> stephen: he's going to be fine, but-- he's fine. but it turns out a u.s. postal service regulation prevents the display of the president and the vice president, but the rule was never enforced. but donovan is on top of fixing this not-problem, and his new bill requires "the official portraits of the president and vice president shall be displayed side by side, be equal in size, and displayed at the same height." well, the lay's the law, folks. so, as a concerned citizen, i'd like to make a donation to my local post office. they're official portraits of president trump and vice president pence. and because it's the post office, they're each the size of a postage stamp.
( cheers and applause ) bonus: if you lick the back of the trump stamp, he'll pay you $130,000 to say you didn't. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: woooo! >> stephen: of course, this weekend, "avengers: infity war" is once again expected to continue to smash box office records. have you seen it? i have not. i have not seen it yet, so, please, no spoilers about how much money it's made. but there's also a real-life "avengers" crisis, because police are investigating the disappearance of an expensive "iron man" suit from a los angeles movie-prop storage facility. man, that seems like a lot of work. you know you can buy those costumes at target, right? our theater is right next to
times square. this morning i had to squeeze past two "iron mans" in a knife fight. but this costume's special, because turns out it's the real suit, worn by robert downey jr. in the first "iron man" movie. so it's estimated to be worth $325,000 dollars. it would have been even more, but they took it out of the box. i don't know what they were thinking. i just hope they catch the guy who has it. it shouldn't be too hard to pick out of a lineup. speaking of events with too many characters, in just a few weeks, the world's biggest orgy is going to be attempted in las vegas. yes. they're going to attempt it, but you know how it is-- sometimes, despite your best intentions, you and your closest 600 other people just fall asleep watching "westworld." ( laughter ) quick note for all attendees: no matter what happens, please, for the love of god, tip the cleaning staff. ( laughter )
organizers are calling the event "sin city 8." and where else do you recreate the depraved, lascivious depths of sodom and gomorrah than the embassy suites on swenson street. yes. embassy suites. >> jon: exwaes, huh? okay. >> stephen: which may explain why their complementary waffle station is always out of butter. you can't prove that means anything. to set the record, they'll have to best a 2006 tokyo event that included 250 women and 250 men. but a spokesperson is confident, saying, "we will blow that number out of the water." ( laughter ) i... i have no comment? please insert your joke here-- or anywhere. it's an orgy.
( laughter ) but-- one man is clapping, one man. one man is clapping. and his date just hit him. ( laughter ) she just hit him. yup. ( cheers and applause ) but don't look for the orgy in the record books, because according to a "guinness" rep, "this is not a record title that we recognize or monitor," adding that "there will not be a guinness world records adjudicator on site for this event." but they will be there the next morning to witness the record for "least eye contact made at a breakfast buffet." we've got a great show tonight. "the big bang theory's" mayim bialik is here! but when we return, a very
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...even if you've never tried it before... ♪ ...just know that... you can, in portland. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! put me in, coach! boom! give it up for jon batiste and stay human right over there one more time! ( cheers and applause ) oh, jon, oh, jon, jon, jon, jon. ready for the weekend. i'm ready for the weekend, my man. i've got a little programming note, a quick programming note for everybody at home, just a quick reminderrer-- don't forget
to call mom, write mom. it is mother's day this sunday. jon, do you have any plans for mother's day? >> jon: yeah, yeah, i'm going to call my mom. i'm not going to be able to visit. >> stephen: okay. >> jon: but i'm going to visit next week and i'll bring my present in person. but i'll have a nice long conversation. then she's probably going to go to church. >> stephen: sure. then call me after church. >> stephen: give her my best. i like your mom. >> jon: she's really nice. >> stephen: yes, yes. is it still friday? ( cheers and applause ) yes, it is. yes, it is! if case you were wondering. there's been so much huge world news breaking lately: north korean talks, iran nukes, and that new childish gambino song-- ( cheers and applause ) what can't that man do? i hope that guitar player is okay. but it means we rarely take time to talk about what's going on in the smaller cities across
america, which is why i love "community calendar," a segment we do on this show where i sit down with my guests and highlight real events that are actually happening in their home towns. >> did somebody say "home town?" ( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: what! hey! >> stephen: holy cow! >> hi! >> stephen: as i live and breathe, holy guacamole! if it isn't melissa mccarthy star of "life of the party," in theaters now? in fact, melissa, yes, i did say the words "home towns." >> well, you're not going to believe this, but i have a home
town! it's plainfield, illinois. true fact! >> stephen: what a coincidence, because it just so happens it's time for plainfield, illinois' "community calendar"! >> whoa! what! ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome to "community calendar," your source for what's happening in and around plainfield, illinois, and the greater will county area. joining me is native plainfieldian, melissa mccarthy. ( cheers and applause ) >> thanks, stephen. thanks so much. you know what we say in will county: you "will" love it here. ha-ha! it's word play, word play. >> stephen: so true. now let's get to some actual events going on in and around plainfield. the weekend of may 19, head over to naperville's naper settlement for "civil war days." guests can "experience firsthand
a turbulent time period in our nation's history." also, there will be a civil war re-enactment. ( laughter ) >> and "civil war days" will have plenty of fun shopping, like local florists "the weed ladies" who will be selling spring silk and dried florals. yes, the weed ladies selling dried florals, if you know what i mean. ( laughter ) and if you do, tell them. because, clearly, they do not. ( laughter ) on june 20, travel to various businesses downtown and sample wines during the "wysk wine walk." ( laughter ) >> stephen: well, melissa, have you ever done the wine walk? >> i do love a wine walk, and i mix them in my mouth, and i make rose. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: that's wonderful ( laughter )
june 27, the plainfield area chamber of commerce presents their 3rd annual world champion olympics, featuring events such as the half-mile run, push-ups, medicine-ball toss, and the main event: dodging a copyright lawsuit from the international olympic committee. ( laughter ) >> tonight, the naper settlement museum is hosting its "victorian spa overnight" where guests try different methods that ladies used in the 1800s to bring out their natural beauty. so come on, slap on a leech, chug some mercury, and faint your way to glamour! ( laughter ) >> stephen: then stick around tomorrow for their workshop, "victorian memory and mourning," a look back at how americans have traditionally handled death, mourning, and memorialization. it's fun for the whole family-- if you're a whole family of goth teens. ( laughter )
>> now, get ready for some exciting new plainfield businesses. on may 15, it's the ribbon cutting for slim chickens restaurant. >> stephen: then, on may 17, it's the ribbon cutting for "bar three" of north plainfield. >> after that, may 22 is the ribbon cutting for title "max of plainfield." >> stephen: and up next, june 7 is the ribbon cutting for tailwinds distilling company. >> and look out, because june 21 is the ribbon cutting for j.c. realty group. >> stephen: which will hopefully be followed by the ribbon cutting for plainfield's desperately needed ribbon and giant scissor factory. ( laughter ) >> on the following morning of june 13, come on down to village hall to have coffee with the mayor. hopefully, it will go smoother than last month's "tequila shots with the sanitation department." laugh i'll tell you what-- that was a real mess. that was a real mess. >> stephen: it sure was. it sure was. on friday, june 22, it's an
outdoor movie in settlers' park! they'll be showing "the lion king." so "settle" your kids in settlers' park, then leave them there and go see "life of the party," in theaters now. ( cheers and applause ) >> critics are calling it, "the lion king" of movies, where i play a mom who goes back to college. and there are absolutely no lions. >> stephen: well, hakuna matata. >> oh, no, i'm not jewish. ( laughter ) >> stephen: well, that does it for plainfield, illinois' "community calendar." >> and as we like to say in plainfield, "aren't the plains and fields basically the same thing?" ( laughter ) >> stephen: "life of the party" is in theaters now! melissa mccarthy, everybody! i'll be right back with mayim bialik. ( cheers and applause ) this weekend at kohl's
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( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! welcome. welcome back to "the late show." >> stephen: folks, my first guest is an actress who plays a neuroscientist on "the big bang theory" and also in real life. please welcome mayim bialik. ♪ ♪ ( applause ) cheaper. >> stephen: welcome back. >> thank you! >> stephen: how you been? >> i've been okay, a little busy, but i'm okay.
>> stephen: of course you're busy. you guys just-- you just had the "big bang theory" season finale. >> yes. >> stephen: where sheldon and amy finally tie the knot. >> yup. >> stephen: mazel tov, "amazel tov. >> thank you. >> stephen: i'm so pretend happy for you. >> i'm pretend appreciative that you're happy. >> stephen: and, listen, the exciting thing is that mark hamill was there. >> that's extremely exciting. >> yes. mark hamill officiated the ceremony. >> yes, he did, as himself. >> stephen: yes, although, luke sky walker could also do it. >> or he's so talented he could play anything he want s. >> stephen: you're on the biggest television show on television here, only cbs. ( cheers and applause ) because you're a big star in your own right, does that make you immune to the jedi power of seeing mark hamill? i've met the man once.
we had him on the show once, and i could barely breathe. >> yeah, it was like that. it was a combination of crying and not breathing. >> stephen: is that-- is this-- is this-- >> that's what it felt like all week. that is kelly cuoco. >> stephen: literally, what happened, when i met mark hamill himself, i also peed my pants. so did he know you were freaking out, or were you playing it cool. >> i have a website could grok nation. >> stephen: grak nation? >> grok nation. >> stephen: like "stranger in a strange land?" >> very good. >> stephen: we'll get into this. >> i wrote how freaked out i was meeting someone who i never wanted to meet because he was so perfect in my mind from the time i was a child. why would i want to meet him? but they made me. it is my job, they made me interact. i wrote about it on grok nation, and apparently, mark hamill is online a lot. he saw my freaking out photos.
and he saw my tweets. >> did you have to see him after that? >> yes. >> stephen: you had to face the man again after geek out? >> yeah. i was looking down at the ground. he said, "i just love that video, you're so natural and real." and i thought nothing is normal about this interaction. >> stephen: are you team luke or team hawn? >> some of the ladies go for hahn. >> i'm old-school luke. that's what i imagined my husband would look like some day. >> stephen: blond, teenaged surfer. >> yeah. >> stephen: whole bit? >> yeah, i was born in 1975. doesn't that make sense? >> stephen: now, you're a modern orthodox jewish woman. how many blond teenaged surfers are there in your community? ( laughter ). >> that number would be zero. >> stephen: that would be zero. >> stephen: so you're a neuroscientist, though, and some people have trouble reconciling investigation and science, and you have none. >> no. >> stephen: okay. >> no. >> stephen: is there anything-- is there anything that you believe in your
religiousity, that your scientist you goes, "yeah, i know that's not true?" >> many things. >> stephen: oh, yeah? >> well, you know, i mean, i have no problem believing that, you know, physics is all under the umbrella of whatever power greater than yourself you'd like to call it. >> stephen: sure. >> but, like, there's this mystical notion that, you know, all of the jews stood at the base of mount sinai when the ten commandments were handed down. >> stephen: why is that mystical? there weren't that many back then, were there? >> that i was there. >> stephen: oh, you-- >> like, my soul mystically there was, thousand of years ago. like, wrap your head around that! >> stephen: so you're reincarnated? >> no, it's not like that. >> stephen: so your soul has always been there and your soul has always opinion-- >> all our souls were there. >> stephen: i didn't be that part. >> it's mystical. >> stephen: so you were in "the ten commandments" with charlton heston ( laughter ) metaphorically speaking. >> yeah. very mystical.
>> stephen: yeah. my father was a scientist. and i'm a big believer in science, but i like angels, yeah, 100%. i am totally in for angels and i know it's ridiculous, totally ridiculous. but i picture the angels. there's an angel above my head all the time. >> unicorns? >> stephen: okay. there are no unicorns in the bible. >> there are some animals that we don't know what they are. >> stephen: behemoth. >> no-- there's, like, words like what animal is that? maybe it's a unicorn. i don't know. >> stephen: what's' nephlim? >> i tonight know, what's a nephlim? >> stephen: about a buck 25. we're going to cut this part out. let's cut this part out. it's in genesis, gen sit. they're the sons of god, who mate with the sons of-- the daughters of men, and from which the heroes were born. that's what it says in genesis. >> maybe you're reading a different translation than me?
( laughter ). >> stephen: maybe so, maybe so. they're telling me i should move off of the old testament over here. ( laughter ) evidently-- evidently-- evidently, deconstruction of the torah is not big. >> 3,000 years of interpretive history is worth nothing to these people! >> stephen: exactly. >> geez. >> stephen: you have a new book. >> i do. >> stephen: just as good as genesis. it's called "boying up." >> it is! >> stephen: this is the sequel or the companion-- >> true. >> stephen: to... the. >> the sibling, as it were. >> stephen: to "girling up." >> and when i was here last year and wheerp chitchatting, you actually said "when is 'buying up' coming out?" it's your fault. >> stephen: where is daddy's taste of that? if it's mine, come on. ( laughter ) okay, so, just-- i'm going to state obvious-- you are a girl. last time i checked. >> i'm a woman. oh! ( cheers )
>> stephen: my apologies. my apology. >> don't apologize. i love being a woman. >> stephen: okay, i called you a girl. so what do you know about buying up? what do you know about buying up there, woman? man. >> i feel like i'm back in grad school. >> stephen: sure. >> i'm trained as a neuroscientist, and i'm not just trained to understand female body and female anatomy and female psychology. i was trained to understand thaad of boys and men as well. >> stephen: okay, so you've seen, you've seen. >> i have two sons. >> stephen: there it is. >> i have two sons. and what i did is i wrote a book about kind of the biology and psychology and boys' place in our culture-- oh, you turned right to that page, didn't you. >> stephen: it's a page i can't show on cbs. ( laughter ) you know how things work, because you got-- the you got the nice pencil sketches. >> yes. >> stephen: of various ways of reproductive parts. >> correct, that is part of chapter 1. >> stephen: right there at the top. this is the genesis of "boying up." i think these are call fephlim.
( laughter ) now you've got two boys of your own >> yes. >> stephen: two wonderful young men. >> there they are on the cover. >> stephen: how do they feel about mom having the drawings of the penises on the book? are they going to share this with friends at school? >> probably not. they think that i'm -- >> stephen: you warned them. >> no, they think i'm annoying, weird mom who happens to be on television at times and writes book. >> stephen: as a mom, what do you want for mother's day? >> a nap. >> stephen: i think that's pretty universal. ( cheers and applause ) that's perfectly universal. now, you also have a chapter in here that is about sexual assault and harassment. >> uh-huh. >> stephen: what do you want the boutyou know, as they boy up and then eventually man up, what do you tell them? >> well i think, you know, boys in our culture and men as well, get a lot of mixed messages. be gentle but not too gentle. be aggressive but not too aggressive. and i think the time is now for us to talk honestly and openly
with young boys in particular bconsent, things-- things have come up in the news, for example, our president has brought words into the vernacular of my home that i was not planning on discussion disusing with my children. >> stephen: sure. >> but things like "locker room talk" is something that is included in the book because it is important to talk to young boy about that. what does it mean when we say, "boys will be boys?" is that accepting unacceptable behavior? it's not of not too early to start talking with young boys about it so they learn to be respectful and increase communication about bodies. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: thank you. "boying up" is out now. mayim bialik everybody! when we return, run the jewels celebrate me!
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( applause ). >> stephen: thank you so much. welcome back to "the late show"" here everybody on cbs. only cbs. now, ladies and gentlemen you may not know it, it's mother's day this weekend, but you may not know this, but my birthday is also this weekend. ( cheers and applause ) i'm not a big-- i'm not a big birthday person, so i'll probably just spend it the way i spend every sunday-- jumping in a bouncy castle, then eating a giant cake with my name on it. but i was truly touched to find out that friends of the show run the jewels-- l.p. and killer mike-- apparently have a birthday message for me. they were the last people i'd expect to reach out, because you might remember that they have typically and repeatedly ruined the holidays for me. they crashed my halloween song in 2016 and made it super dirty, and also destroyed what was supposed to be a my jolly christmas song with some pretty violent imagery.
but, apparently, run the jewels swear they have something nice to say this time. so here they are. ♪ happy birthday to you happy birthday to you ♪ happy birthday, dear stephen happy birthday to you ♪ >> hey, man, we just want to wish you a very happy birthday. i know we've angered you in the past, but we want this to be a really memorable birthday for you. >> yeah. you're awesome, we love you, and we even got you some gifts. >> stephen: wow. that was actually kind of sweet. i was not expecting that. so what's the gift? >> we hope you like it man. >> here you go, trick! ♪ ♪ ♪ okay birthday boy here's the (bleep) sitch ♪ another year down
you're father time's (bleep) ♪ bony-ass arms like windshield wipers ♪ happy birthday, colbert here's some adult diapers ♪ i.d. says 54 face says 99 ♪ your own show's on past your (bleep) bedtime ♪ so blow out your candles til your face is blue ♪ today you're eating treats tomorrow worms are eating you ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: okay, okay. you guys got me. good one. i am getting a little older. and i just-- i take your little rhymes as a reminder that i should savor every moment. i'm being told there is more?? >> colbert >> r.t.j. >> colbert >> r.t.j. >> stephen, mike, and jamie. ♪ grey like a hare slow like a tortoise
♪ next time you're (bleep) it'll be rigor mortis ♪ skin all wrinkly muscles is all softened ♪ you don't need a cake you need a (bleep) coffin. ♪ some white dude died that's from your obit ♪ and here's how it ends no one gives a (bleep) ( laughter ) ( applause ) ( cheers ) >> stephen: wow. ( laughter ) that's harsh, especially because you guys are, like, what, mid-40s? that's pretty old for rappers. >> how dare you? that hurts! >> we're 43. that's early 40s, yeah. >> why'd you have to ruin this, stephen? >> you're a heartless bastard. (crying) >> it's all right, bro. foul, bruh. ( wailing ) >> foul, bruh. >> stephen: run the jewels, everybody. when we come back, i'll be cooking with daniel boulud.
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>> stephen: hey, everybody, welcome back to the late show! my next guest is a michelin starred and james bearded chef who is celebrating the 25th anniversary of his acclaimed restaurant, daniel. please welcome chef daniel boulud! ( cheers and applause ). >> hi, everyone is there monsieur chef. >> how are you, stephen. >> stephen: i am good. the last time we were together, you cooked turducken. >> absolutely. >> stephen: what are we doing today? >> today we're still on the farm and we're cooking chicken. but we're killing rooster, absolutely. >> stephen: that's a rooster. that looks like a rubber chicken. that is actually a rooster? >> it is a rooster. you want me to prove it? >> stephen: yes. >> put this glove. >> stephen: put this glove on. are we giving the rooster a
colonoscopy. >> you see two things down there. if you can remove them, that's his testicle. >> stephen: these are the testicles of the rooster. >rooster. >> and then one delicacy, so they always come by pair. >> stephen: this is the thing on the top of his head? we're going to eat this, too? >> yes, we're going to eat that, too. i know you are a very good cook, and i heard that you love to make chicken pot pie. >> stephen: i do, yes. >> so this is more like kind of a chicken pot pie fit for a king, like king colbert. >> stephen: okay. >> someone like-- >> what volum mean. fly in the wind. not gone with the wind. >> >> stephen: fly in the wind? >> yeah. >> stephen: and you're cook things that blew in the wendo. >> and we're making this with beautiful puff paistry. i have cray fish as well and the breast, and the liver and the
heart and the testicle-- by the way, did you taste my testicle? >> stephen: okay, now-- ( laughter ) >> here, here is a very small one. >> stephen: now, daniel, what if i have a nut allergy? >> aah-- ( cheers and applause ) well -- >> stephen: okay? >> i want you to -- >> stephen: is it hot? >> no, not too much. it's so delicate and nourishing. >> it tastes like testicle. >> absolutely. here i'm adding up a little bit of herbs. thank you for helping that-- rooster to -- >> stephen: deep this a little bemure here. ( laughter ) >> a little pit of peas and radish-- >> he looks peaceful, like he's sleeping. >> i'm going to keep filling this here, like this beautiful-- so this is really something i
will cook for my friends, for my family. don't come to the restaurant daniel and ask me to make you this beautiful dish. >> stephen: is this a tradition, like you would eat something in the countryside of france? >> absolutely. and the sauce is made with the bonus and the carcass of that. >> stephen: now, is there any chicken meat in it? i see the combs. i see the testicles-- >> viola. nice chicken. but then i also have nice little cray fish-- you know, it's like carnival. you have to have -- >> stephen: oh, my gosh. >> this is rooster testicle and, of course, a beautiful cray fish, and spaws. >> stephen: well wl, it's nice to know-- it's good to see a meal where you can actually see the expression of the animal in the last moments of his life.
do we drink wine now? i would like something to wash the testicle out of my mouth. >> do you want me to give you a taste of the dish? >> stephen: why not? i assume it sort of tastes like the testicles did. >> i'm going to give you a little bit of the puff pastry, which is so flaky and beautiful and a little bit of the morrell and the peas. >> stephen: this is the 25th anniversary of daniel. >> yes. >> stephen: which is a michelin star restaurant-- >> you can remove your glove. >> stephen: i'm not sure. ( laughter ) just in case i run into some more testicle. was that restaurant a success from the very beginning, or did you have to build up to the great success it is now? >> no, i think it was a little mad of a success. i've been blessed by having an amazing team who has been supporting me for so many years. and to my team there at daniel, and to all my teams--
( laughter ) okay. 1993. >> i didn't see anything. >> 1993, the year we opened the restaurant in new york. this very special wine was made, and the label has a nude on it. >> stephen: we can't show that on cbs. >> in america, they forbidden to have this label. so if you buy that wine in the store, you will never have the firk-- it. >> stephen: of the naked lady. >> i brought it just for you. >> stephen: all right. >> cheers. >> stephen: cheers. ( cheers and applause ) >> it wouldn't be a birthday without a beautiful cake, no? sso what do you think? are you going to do this next sunday for mother's day. >> stephen: i can do this? >> yes. don't burn it, burn it. you give flavor to it.
>> stephen: you just pop open a jar of fluffer here and put that on? >> yeah. you see, there's a 25 right in there. >> stephen: what's this? >> let's see, let's see what it is. oh, yeah. uh-huh. okay. so that's going to continue to-- continue to burn the thing there. >> stephen: all right. >> and i'm putting a little bit of that there. i made a beautiful cake. it's a frozen-- actually it's not frozen. it's an ice cream cake who it's -- >> stephen: it looks like a baked alaska. >> it's called a baked alaska. have you ever been there? >> stephen: to alaska? >> yes. >> stephen: no, but i have been baked ( laughter ). >> let me cut a slice of that cake here. >> stephen: ooooh! extraordinary. new, when is it appropriate to
serve something on fire? ( laughter ). >> uh, it's-- i mean, fire is something very good for the kitchen, you know. we need fire all the teem. >> stephen: when is it appropriate to bring something flaming to the table? >> flambe? well, it's appropriate when you do-- so, for example, a fois gras flambe. >> yeah, i love it. >> stephen: oooh! jon, would you like some? >> jon: yes. let me get in there. >> stephen: monsieur, monsieur. this is a perfect celebration cake for you, and for king colbert. do you know, king colbert? i have a crown for him. ( cheers and applause ) i made this for king colbert.
i thought after sandy hook, where 20 six and seven year olds were slain, this would never happen again. it has happened more than 200 times in 5 years. dianne feinstein and a new generation are leading the fight to pass a new assault weapons ban. say no to the nra and yes to common-sense gun laws. california values senator dianne feinstein say no to the nra and yes to common-sense gun laws. they'd tell you to go to ross. because there's so much to choose from. listen to your pets. they're your best friends, so they don't want you to spend more than you have to. if you want to save big on pet accessories, you gotta go to ross. late show." join me next week when i'll be joined by jamie foxx, benedict cumberbatch, and chadwick boseman. good night!
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