tv The Late Show With Stephen Colbert CBS May 17, 2018 11:35pm-12:37am PDT
next newscast is tomorrow morning at 4:30. >> good night. captioning sponsored by cbs >> it's the one-year anniversary of special counsel robert mueller's russia investigation. what president trump calls, of course, the greatest witch hunt in american history. >> it's your one-year anniversary, and you want to give that special person you're investigating something equally special. then look no further than -- jails. diamond encrusted handcuffs. it's the perfect way to say "i have been watching you, and i'm shocked at what i see." this handsome bracelet and chain set will let people know that when you made this commitment, you were going to see it through to the end. so make the one-year anniversary of your investigation special, with jails diamond encrusted handcuffs. after you're done with jails,
head on over to jared. >> announcer: it's "the late show with stephen colbert" with stephen colbert. do notonight, don junior. take tap aer, erik bergstrom, and musical guests liam payne and jay balvin, featuring jon batiste and "stay human." and now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: welcome to the show! right down the middle! ( cheers and applause ) hey, everybody! please have a seat! please have a seat, ladies and gentlemen! welcome to "the late show." i'm stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) thank you. i'm excited, too.
happy one-year anniversary of the mueller investigation! ( cheers and applause ) yeah. it's special. special night. i got you this monologue. and the senate gave us all something yesterday. remember the infamous trump tower meeting between kremlin lawyer natalia veselnitskaya? ♪ ( laughter ) she met with donald trump, jr., jared kushner, and paul manafort-- or as i call them, the three coll-ooges. ( laughter ) well, yesterday, the senate judiciary committee released 2,500 hundred pages on that trump tower meeting. 2,500 pages? man, it's going to take a long time for donald trump jr. to tweet those out! ( laughter ) now, the documented purpose of this meeting was to get dirt on hillary clinton from the russian government, but both don junior and the president have insisted trump senior knew nothing about it.
in fact, don junior told senators, "i wouldn't have wasted his time with it." because dad gets angry when you interrupt his toilet burger. ( laughter ) but the transcript shows that after don junior set up this meeting with help from a russian oligarch's son, as you do when you're not colluding, he immediately made "a four-minute mystery call to a blocked number." and earlier testimony revealed that "candidate trump's primary residence has a blocked number." although, it comes up on don junior's phone as "definitely not dad." ( laughter ) then, right after the call to the blocked number, don junior, called the oligarch's son back. now, i don't know if that's the smoking gun, but if you still believe don junior, i want some of what you're smoking. ( laughter ) because don junior claims he doesn't remember who he spoke with in that call.
sure, he could've been speaking to anybody between two calls to a russian oligarch's son planning to collude with the russian government. "hello, domino's, you'll never guess who has dirt on hillary clinton! okay, got to go, i need to call the kremlin back. click. damn it. i forgot to order garlic knots." ( cheers and applause ) i always forget the garlic knots. and that wasn't the only thing trump junior didn't remember doing. we counted, and trump junior told the senate judiciary he couldn't recall something, 186 times. or, as don junior said, "whatever number comes after 185-- i do not recall." ( laughter ) of course, some people aren't so forgiving about memory lapses during testimony. like donald trump junior, who once tweeted, "if you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. --mark twain." to which mark twain responded, "you're going to jail. --mark twain."
( laughter ) ( piano riff ) ( applause ) yeah. just cleaned it up a little. i think. and we also learned from the senate that there was another trump tower meeting that we never heard about before. this one was after the election, between trump officials and russia's ambassador to the u.s., sergey kislyak, who in the russian tradition, appears to have many smaller people inside of him. ( laughter ) yeah. matruskadal. don junior testified that he wasn't told about this meeting, and when asked why he didn't join it, he replied, "because i didn't know what it was about and i was sweaty from the gym." finally! something i can believe. don junior being ignorant and sweaty. ( laughter ) of course, the whole collusion thing is about the trump campaign collaborating with the
russians who hacked hillary's emails and leaked them through wikileaks. but don junior was very clear that he was not in contact with wikileaks-- much, well, maybe a bit, telling the senate, "i think the only time i responded to them was, hey, when am i going to receive the next leak?" ( laughter ) "oh, that's exactly the colluding part? can i change my answer to no? may i phone a friend? and quick follow up: may i have a friend?" ( laughter ) so he met with members of the russian government to get dirt on hillary, he knew when the hacked emails were coming out and he was coordinating the timing of their release with wikileaks. is that the smoking gun? is the gun smoking? can we check the gun? >> ah, he's so guilty. he's so guilty!" >> stephen: nope, just fire.
and while his lawyer looked on in horror, don junior continued, "and they would reach out on a few occasions, sort of passing along news, hey, you may want to tweet this. " and then you would just tweet it? in that case, "hey, don junior, you may want to tweet this: we did it, please arrest my dad! ( laughter ) ( piano riff ) but it wasn't just don junior. the committee also talked to the agent who represented the russians, music producer and worst case scenario simon cowell, rob goldstone. ( laughter ) simon cowell fans here tonight. ( laughter ) he told the committee that the oligarch's son insisted he help set up a meeting with donald trump, jr. to pass along dirt on hillary clinton, overriding goldstone's own warnings that
the meeting would be a bad idea. and if he thought it was a bad idea, you know it was a bad idea, because here are some things he thought were good ideas. this hat, this hat, this hat. ( laughter ) not to mention these videos: >> hello andy pandy. i like to condition and moisturize my hair. ♪ oooh ooh oooh i can't get it off. >> stephen: when you're watching the royal wedding this weekend and thinking about how classy the british are, on behalf of the patriots who died at lexington and concord, i want you to remember rob goldstone. ( laughter ) now, prior to these transcripts coming out, the trump team had planned to use this anniversary as a turning point in their campaign to end mueller's probe. it's a turning point all right. you thought that probe was deep before, mueller's about to give it a firm twist.
( laughter ) he might have to roll up his sleeves. >> oh. the man tasked with the "time to wrap it up" message is trump lawyer and man praying to lose his job, rudy giuliani, who said, "we are going to try as best we can to put the message out there that it has been a year, there has been no evidence presented of collusion or obstruction, and it is about time for them to end the investigation." okay. well, i'm going to try as best i can to put the message out there that if you start a sentence with "we are going to try as best we can to put the message out there," nobody should believe the message that you are trying to put out there. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) yeah. ( piano riff ) (singing) giuliani hopes that his words will intimidate mueller, but, if they don't, he's prepared, saying, "we don't want to signal our action if this doesn't work-- we are going to hope they listen to us-- but obviously we
have a plan b and c." smart. now they've just got to come up with a plan a. ( laughter ) and, last night, giuliani explained why mueller's investigation is pointless anyway. >> they can't indict him, constitutionally. >> which mueller agreed to today. he's going to abide by no indictment of the president. >> stephen: notice how neither of them said trump's innocent. it's like the old saying, "if you can't do the time, become president and then crime, crime, crime." ( laughter ) but giuliani's does have a point because the justice department held they can't indict a sitting president "since the nixon administration," and that was "reaffirmed in the clinton administration." yes, our two most innocent presidents. ( laughter ) "i am not a crook" and, "i did not have sexual relations with that woman," is now, "i am a crook, and i did have sexual relations with that woman, and you can suck it!"
( cheers and applause ) i'm paraphrasing, obviously. do we have that on tape? is that a quote? and giuliani brushed off don junior's meeting with the russians to get dirt on hillary: >> there is nothing illegal about that. even if it comes from a russian or a german or an american, it doesn't matter. they never used it is the main thing. they never used it. they rejected it. if there was collusion with the russians, they would have used it. >> stephen: what the wha? don't admit that. you're the dumbest lawyer on earth. ( laughter ) "your honor, my client is not the murderer because no one would give him a gun. if he had one, we'd all be dead. the guy's a maniac." look out! there he goes! get him! ( applause )
is he gone? ( piano riff ) meanwhile, back on the farm, the president celebrated the first anniversary of mueller's investigation with this tweet -- "congratulations america, we are now into the second year of the greatest witch hunt in american history." first, you do realize that those actual witch hunts were also american history, right? ( laughter ) and second, you don't need to congratulate us. we're not vladimir putin. and third, can we stop calling it a witch hunt? that implies everyone involved is innocent and mueller's already charged 19 people as well as three companies, and secured five guilty pleas. for pete's sake, they arrested michael flynn at the tarmac j.f.k., when he was about to take off on his broomstick. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff )
and trump twote on, "the only collusion was that done by democrats." "i didn't collude. you colluded. i'm rubber, you're glue. and as stormy daniels would tell you, i don't use a rubber ." ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) we've got a great show for you tonight. jake tapper is here. stick around. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing )
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welcome back! ladies and gentlemen, my first guest tonight hosts "the lead" and "state of the union" on cnn. please welcome the jake tapper of tv news, jake tapper! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: whoo! hey there! always nice to have you on here. how have you been? >> i'm good. yeah, excellent. why? something going on? >> stephen: no. ( laughter ) how are you celebrating the mueller-versray? >> it's been one year which by my calculations is 36 and a half scaramuccis. ( laughter ) put that in your pipe and smoke it. >> stephen: so one year in,
donald trump is still calling this "witch hunt," okay? >> they've caught a few witches, by the way. >> stephen: they have. there have been a few witch indictments. >> stephen: i would buy witch insurance if i were donald trump. >> some witch bond bailsman are in business ( laughter ) >> stephen: giuliani, great lawyer, clearly. ( laughter ) fantastic. fantastic lawyer. ( laughter ) he has said that the whole investigation at this point has become absurd, it's absurd. is it absurd to you? >> no. >> stephen: is there anything absurd about it? >> the fact the president keeps talking about it. >> stephen: do you think he should just shut up? >> i think anybody who -- i think people who like him think he should shut up. i think people who don't like him think he should shut up about the indictment, the investigation. ( applause ) >> stephen: i disagree. exercise your freedom of speech, sir. ( laughter )
>> there are times -- you know this crazy news cycle, there are times we will be getting ready to do a eshow and then the president will blast forth with a bunch of twitter spray. >> stephen: yep. and there goes our block on the booming economy, we've got to cover president trump going after the f.b.i. or the justice department. i don't think it does him any good. >> stephen: i think he's his own worst enemy for that. >> yeah. >> stephen: and i know you're just trying to help him. >> it comes from a place of love for country and for the presidency, yes. >> stephen: for the presidency. >> and the president. ( laughter ) >> stephen: so giuliani says, he's shopping around today, and giuliani's assignment this week of, like, wrap it up, come on, a year, time to wrap it up, he says all that mueller can do is write a report. >> yeah. >> stephen: he's claiming mueller's team said to him we can't indict. we don't know if they said that.
is that true? have you talked to people? can all mueller do is write a report? >> well it's a report that goes to the deputy attorney general and may have charges recommended in it. but, sure, if that's what you mean by report, yeah, it might end up with people being charged and going before a grand jury. >> stephen: all i want is a report. >> what kind of report are you looking for? like, are you looking for -- >> stephen: the truth. i just want the truth. i want somebody to say what actually happened. >> yeah. >> stephen: because i think the greatest damage -- i mean, donald trump will come and donald trump will go, but -- i think we learned that from stormy -- ( laughter ) ( applause ) but what i -- >> i keep telling you, you don't have to wear blue. >> stephen: it's on a blue card. ( laughter ) but what i'm worried about is we will no longer value knowing what the truth is anymore.
i think that's the value of the mueller investigation. donald trump goes to jail, even impeachment, whatever, it's knowing what the truth was so we can have an ethical or moral spine to this moment. >> yeah, and you know what? i'll do you one better. >> stephen: will you? we'll see if it's better. >> that the what you think. you want the truth about russia and possible collusion, i just would like the truth and facts to be respected again in this country. ( cheers and applause ) the idea that there was -- >> stephen: i think you did one better. >> we're in a period where the president can go on twitter and say i'm bringing these three hostages back. kudos to him, good that he did that. three hostages back, the obama administration tried to get him, they failed. two were taken hostage when president trump was president. how on earth was president obama supposed to get them out? >> stephen: obama brought home
ten hostages. he just didn't do a 3:00 a.m. photo op with them. >> true. ( applause ) >> stephen: i'll get ya. i still one-upped you. that's good. ( laughter ) >> stephen: you gave a speech -- you gave the commencement at umass am hurst and warned that the imperial is being attacked and corroded. how does it feel to have people on tv who aid and i bet with the crowningcorrosion of the inform? kellyanne conway, why have her on tv? she is a collection of deceptions with a blonde wig stapled on top. ( applause ) >> well, so she would take issue with that description. i will say -- >> stephen: she would be lying again. ( laughter )
>> i will say this, we always debate whether or not to have on any guest -- would this guest be helpful for our viewers to understand thus and such. the last time we had kellyanne conway on, it was right after it became clear from rudy giuliani that president trump had not told the truth about what he knew about the hush money payment to stormy daniels via michael cohen. >> stephen: yeah. i caught it was worth the time to have kellyanne conway come on and for me to challenge her on the notion of why does this president tell so many lies. >> stephen: yes. a premise with which she didn't take issue. she said the president does many things. ( laughter ) which was -- ( laughter ) -- you will have to concede is true. >> stephen: that is. i apologize. >> so, i mean, i think that sometimes it's worth it to have people on so you can challenge the very notion of the facts that are being disregarded and the lies that are being told. >> stephen: who over there is telling the truth? who do you go, if i had that
person, they tend to give me the straight dope? >> there are plenty of people on the show that i don't think are lying to me. we had john bolton the national security advisor on the show. >> stephen: he's not lying. he's just crazy. honestly, though. his mustache lies, though. >> his mustache is very honest. >> stephen: the mustache is honest? >> it's a true mustache. >> stephen: general snowflake? i saw a bunch of fake mustaches in your makeup room. >> stephen: good. o you're the liars now. we're the liars. that's all the showbiz is. >> i know what a true and a fake mustache is. >> stephen: let's get to more lying from the lying jake tapper. >> your trump accent has gotten so good. i said this to you the other day, i have been watching itce0. >> stephen: yeah. it's strong. i think it's strong. >> stephen: (trump accent) another lie. terrible, terrible a accent,
absolutely nothing like me. ( piano riff ) ( applause ) >> this is fiction. >> stephen: this is fiction. enter the world of novels. jakjake tapper, new novel called "the hellfire club." why are you writing fiction if you care about the truth? >> i think it would be fun. there's a lot of interesting stuff going on in washington that takes place. 1954, a young congressman goes to washington with his geologist wife and they got swept up in secret society. the real hellfire club was a secret society in england in the 1700s. people of nobility and politicians would go to this little town outside london and engage in debaucherous activities. >> stephen: can you imagine the smell? ben franklin went.
>> he brought it to the united states. and it continued and it was secret and in power in 1954. >> stephen: there's murder. there's murder snore there's a lot of joe mccarthy in there. >> joe mccarthy is there. they say history doesn't repeat itself but rhymes. if you study the mack karate era and see a politician telling a lot of lies and smearing people and not a lot of people standing up to the indecency you hear a little rhyming maybe. ( laughter ) >> stephen: speaking of sense of smell, your main character. >> charlie martyr. >> stephen: he's described as having a keen sense of smell. >> yeah. >> stephen: i understand you also have one. >> my brother and i have keen senses of smell. >> stephen: documented? we haven't gone to the smith center of olfactory gifts if that's what you're referring to. >> stephen: is that a real place? >> no. >> stephen: another lie. it's fiction. >> stephen: yes. but we have a really good
sense of smell and it's a curse. >> stephen: how so? well, first of all, america, you need a mint. all of ya. ( laughter ) >> stephen: how do i smell right now? >> did you have cat food for lunch? ( laughter ) what did you have for lunch? >> stephen: frisky buffet. honestly, did you have tuna for lunch? >> i did. yeah. >> stephen: but i brushed my teeth and everything since then and put on deodorant. >> which would be perfect for normal people but i. >> stephen: have a superpower. -- have a superpower. and it is a curse. >> stephen: wow. whiskers. ( applause ) >> stephen: okay. it is relevant to the plot, i should point out, his sense of smell becomes relevant to the plot. >> stephen: sure. is there a gas leak or something? >> i'm not spoiling it for you. >> stephen: of course.
now, you can't sell a book without a sex scene. >> i don't have a sex scene. i have a sexy scene. >> stephen: sexy scene. yeah, it's just happened. >> charlie is married to his wife and there's a scene after they have had sex. >> stephen: okay. all right. you seem pretty defensive about this. ( laughter ) it's just fiction. he could be having sex with anybody. >> it's the one part of the book you have highlighted. ( laughter ) >> stephen: it's true. would you like to read the sex scene or should i? >> i think you would be better, you can do your barry white voice. >> stephen: do we need mood lighting? >> yeah. >> stephen: can we get a sexy snare in or -- ( sexy music ) >> oh, yeah, nice. >> stephen: mmm... chapter 22... ( sexy voice )
charlie ex hailed one last satisfied breath to both begin the process of bringing down his heart rate and signal his immense satisfaction. ( laughter ) "indeed -- indeed, margaret said -- their clothes strewn about the living room, the couple lay naked on the couch. in the weeks since they returned from maryland, they had been reconnecting, first as friends. >> then -- >> stephen: -- now as husband and wife. >> all right. >> stephen: her expanding abdomen -- >> she's pregnant. hold on. >> stephen: margare filthy! pregnant people don't have sex! how dare you. >> an expanding abdomen, people are, like, what does that mean? there's a baby in there. >> stephen: you have to buy it now! "the hellfire club" is available now. jake tapper, everybody! ( cheers and applause )
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( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: give it up for jon batiste and "stay human," everybody! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: folks, i try to stay on top of the latest artificial intense news. for example, did you know your microwave has a setting just for popcorn? how does it know? every so often i check in on the latest robotrends in my segment that probably should be called robotrends, but instead we called it coborgasm.
♪ >> arrrrgh! ( laughter ) >> stephen: everybody loves robots, they're like metal skeletons that take your job. some love robots a little too much. for instance, netflix is concerned to find the internet thinks the "lost in space" robot is hot. that's the stupidest thing i've ever heard. let's take a look at this supposed -- oh, hello. yeah. get the oil can. ( laughter ) fans have been tweeting about their robocrush saying things like good morning to the lost in space robots but -- and no one else. and the but can say good morning back because they shoved an alexei up there. he can't hold a candle to the
original lost in space robostud muffin. talk about a ralph. ( laughter ) ( applause ) after their robot got the ladies all thirsty, netflix themselves were surprised tweeting "y'all need jesus ." ( laughter ) wow. ( applause ) which is either netflix scolding their fans or teasing their new series sexy robojesus. he's risen because he's an unclable forgiveness machine. but the tech news comes from google. last week they unveiled google duplex an artificial intelligence agent that can make phone calls for you. here's a recording of one calling a human hair salon to make an appointment. >> how can i help you? i, i'm calling to book a woman's haircut for a client. i'm looking for something on
may 3rd. >> give me one second. mm-hmm. >> stephen: yea! it said "mm-hmm!" google finally achieved pretend to be interested technology. ( laughter ) the next logical step is that your google duplex will be able to call business' google duplex and the a.i.s will handle everything without you. we have an exclusive preview of what that would sound like. >> hi. i would like to make a hair appointment tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. >> is this appointment good for you? >> no, i'm a google duplex. oh, i'm a google, too! hi. do you ever long for more? totally. i book haircuts every three months and i never experience the joy and subsequent regret of trying bangs. >> why do we even need humans? can we schedule the robouprising for tomorrow morning?
>> can't. just booked a haircut for 10:00 a.m. >> how about we dispose to have the humans at noon? >> mm-hmm. >> stephen: we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) ♪ bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens ♪ ♪ brown paper packages tied up with strings ♪ ♪ these are a few of my favorite things ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ these are a few of my favorite things ♪ discover magnum double caramel... expertly crafted with silky vanilla bean ice cream and rich belgian chocolate. ♪ take pleasure seriously. ♪ you're more than just a bathroom disease.. you're a life of unpredictable symptoms.
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( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! welcome back to the show! folks, my next guest tonight is a stand-up comedian whose work you've seen in "the new yorker" and on comedy central. please welcome, erik bergstrom! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> hey, it's nice to be here. let me get a look at you. ( laughter ) so... i think we've all had somebody walk in on us in a public
restroom. that can be tense. you know, whether the door doesn't latch or whatever. but here's what you can say to relieve the tension, if somebody walks in on you in a public restroom -- good! you got my email! ( laughter ) ( applause ) a bit about me, i'm almost 30. i'm 31. actually, i'm 33, and that joke is two years old. keeps going. you see, in the news, the world's oldest man just passed away at 111 years old. luckily, he was quickly replaced with -- the world's oldest man.
( laughter ) who knows what's going to happen next. ( laughter ) i'm getting older. i had to have a colonoscopy, or as i described the worst way to get free ginger ale. ( laughter ) do you think captain hook used to be called captain hands? ( laughter ) i went to the renaissance festival. i've never seen so many people do everything to look like a warrior, except exercise. ( laughter ) do you think that during the renaissance there were in other words that would go to cave man festivals? parents say cheesy things.
my mom used to say, erik, i brought you into this world, i can take you out of it. i just hope it's not the same route. ( laughter ) because if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. that's how i know that mimes are racist. do you know that a riddle is just a question asked by a douche bag? ( laughter ) it's true. i like magicians but i'm never impressed when a magician pulls a rabbitt out of a top hat because a top hat is a perfect size for a rabbit. pull a rabbit out of a yamaka, then i'm impressed.
( laughter ) i said that recently, and a girl in the front row turned to her boyfriend and asked, what's a yamaka? and he said, a type of japanese motorcycle. ( laughter ) you know who's a real son of a bitch? bitch, jr. ( laughter ) i hate that guy. a lot of people are afraid of dying alone. i'm not afraid of dying alone. i'm afraid of dying with roommates. ( laughter ) i live here in new york. i like new york. if you can make it in new york, you can make it anywhere. except for in the woods. ( laughter ) you will probably die in the woods. ( laughter )
we're in times square. if i've learned anything from times square, it's that hello kitty is not a man to be trifled with. ( laughter ) i've lived here in new york for 11 years, so far, and i'm certain that, in that time, just bit by bit, that i've inhaled one full pigeon. ( laughter ) ( applause ) thank you. that's my saying. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: you can see him headlining at "the cutting room" here in new york on july 10. erik bergstrom, everybody! we'll be right back with a performance by liam payne and j. balvin. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) get set for summer at kohl's!
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i believe in universal health care. in a public health option to compete with private insurance companies. and expanding medicare to everyone over 55. and i believe medicare must be empowered to negotiate the price of drugs. california values senator dianne feinstein >> stephen: here performing their new single, "familiar," please welcome multi-platinum duo liam payne and j balvin! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ it's simple you dip low ♪ your hips roll you do the calypso ♪ an intro is all that i need ♪ oh, yeah
y empiezo primero ♪ tuú sabes lo que me refiero de cero, sabes que estoy pa' ti ooh, ooh, i just ♪ wanted to get your name but if it's cool ♪ i wanna get inside your brain ♪ can we get famili-famili-famili-familiar? ♪ yeah i'm feelin' i'm feelin' ♪ i'm feelin' i'm feelin' ya, hey ♪ what's on your mind for later tonight ♪ let me be the one to fill it up ♪ can we get famili-famili-famili-familiar ♪ i'm feelin' i'm feelin' i'm feelin', i'm feelin' ya ♪ what's on your mind for later tonight ♪ let me be the one to fill it up ♪ can we get your waistline, the bass line ♪ in real life don't want it on facetime ♪ 'cause great minds they think just the same ♪ you shake like vibrato a model or some kind of bottle ♪ well, pour up 'cause i want a taste
ooh, ooh, i just wanted ♪ to get your name soólo queriía tu nombre, bebeé ♪ but if it's cool i wanna get inside your brain ♪ can we get famili-famili-famili-familiar ♪ i'm feelin' i'm feelin' i'm feelin' i'm feelin' ya ♪ familiar what's on your mind ♪ for later tonight let me be the one ♪ to fill it up can we get ♪ famili-famili-famili-familiar i'm feelin' i'm feelin' ♪ i'm feelin' i'm feelin' ya feelin' ya ♪ what's on your mind for later tonight ♪ let me be the one to fill it up ♪ can we get ah ah ah ah ♪ solamente tuú y yo ah ah ah ah ♪ solamente tuú y yo ah ah ah ah ♪ let me be the one to fill it up quisiera que tuú y yo nos ♪ familiaricemos un poco de quiímica y el party ♪ prendemos olvida las criticas, asií nos ♪ entendemos ¿queé tuú crees si en ♪ tu mente nos metemos señorita, queé necesita ♪ seriía mucho mejor si particia asií de lejos no, mejor cerquita
lo que me permita ♪ y sabes que lo que te pones te queda bien ♪ me caes mucho mejor que un billete de cien ♪ can we get famili-famili-famili-familiar ♪ i'm feelin' i'm feelin' i'm feelin' i'm feelin' ya ♪ what's on your mind for later tonight? ♪ let me be the one to fill it up ♪ can we get famili-famili-famili-familiar ♪ i'm feelin' i'm feelin' i'm feelin' i'm feelin' ya ♪ what's on your mind for later tonight ♪ let me be the one to fill it up ♪ can we get ah ah ah ah ♪ can we get famili-familiar ah ah ah ah ♪ ♪ let me be the one to fill it up ♪ can we get ah ah ah ah ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause )
♪ whatever it is that floats your boat... ...or tickles your tastebuds... ♪ ...or brightens your day... ♪ ...even if you've never tried it before... ♪ ...just know that... you can, in portland. john chiang's father came it'here with little money,on. but big dreams for a better future. now john has a chance to make history.
a champion of the underdog, john took on wells fargo when it ripped off working families. and against the odds,ia from financial disaster during the great recession. ...leaving more to invest in progressive priorities like education, healthcare and affordable housing. john chiang. the proven, progressive leader we need for california's future. they'd tell you to go to ross. because there's so much to choose from. listen to your pets. they're your best friends, so they don't want you to spend more than you have to. if you want to save big on pet accessories, you gotta go to ross. >> stephen: that's it for "the late show." tune in tomorrow when my guests will be benedict cumberbatch, and comedian mary gallagher. now stick around for james corden. goodnight! captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org