tv The Late Show With Stephen Colbert CBS June 18, 2018 11:35pm-12:37am PDT
need and look at your traffic as well. dennis with sports will be there. >> of course. >> i'm always here. it's 7-eleven. captioning sponsored by cbs >> i hate the children being taken away. the democrats have to change their law. that's their law. quiet. that's the democrats' law. >> meanwhile on a different part of the lawn, jason also faced a hostile press. >> i hate it! i hate the teenagers being separated from their skulls. i believe teenagers should stay in tact. what can i do? i'm just following the law, which is a democrat law, by the way. >> but it's your own policy!s on macheting anytime, by working with me to come up with a better solution.
we need ten votes. >> why not just stop doing it? >> kids know if they come to camp they could be deported to be at the bottom of the lake. >> jason! >> i'm going to go hang out with my friend freddy krueger, he's a good guy! ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) >> announcer: welcome to "the late show." tonight, as cold as ice. stephen welcomes benicio del toro, alison brie and robin thede. jon batiste and "stay human." and now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: how are you? ( cheers and applause ) beautiful! hey, everybody! welcome to "the late show"!
hello, jon! >> jon: hey, what's happening? >> stephen: you look like a hip priest. >> audience: stephen! stephen! stephen! >> stephen: thank you very much! thanks, everybody! whoo! ( cheers and applause ) oh, my goodness! ( rim shot ) welcome to "the late show" one and all. i'm your host, stephen colbert. look, how you guys feeling tonight, feeling good? ( cheers and applause ) yes! that reaction right there is why we don't do this show on the mexican border. ( laughter ) so happy down there. because the big story continues to be the trump administration's policy of forcibly separating immigrant children from their parents. and faced with almost universal condemnation from both sides of the political aisle, religious leaders, from the u.n. human right's council-- donald trump
took finally took full responsibility for the policy and promised a swift end to this humanitarian disaster. i'm just kidding. ( laughter ) no, he blamed the democrats, tweeting, "the democrats are forcing the breakup of families at the border with their horrible and cruel legislative agenda. any immigration bill must have full funding for the wall, end catch and release, visa lottery and chain, and go to merit based immigration. go for it! win!" ( laughter ) what do you-- what does that-- ( cheers and applause ) what does that mean? what's that mean? what's that mean, "go for it! win!" "ready? okay. ( laughter ) two-four-six-eight, who do we incarcerate? kids! goooooo into the cages!" ( laughter ) ( audience reacts ) yeah, ended sad, didn't it? there's two things wrong with this. one, if it was a law, the
republicans are in control of everything. they can fix it. second of all, it's not a law, this is a policy. it's just another scoop from your chum bucket of cruelty. trump says he regrets having to do this, but-- and this is a sentence i never thought i'd utter-- he justified his child prisons in the middle of a speech about his new space force. >> the united states will not be a migrant camp, and it will not be a refugee holding facility. >> stephen: no, it'll be the all-baby reboot of "the shawshank redemption." ( laughter ) ( audience reacts ) but-- >> jon: uh, uh. >> stephen: but not everyone in the administration blames this policy on the democrats. some say the policy doesn't even exist. like secretary of homeland security and definitely not the descendant of immigrants, kirstjen nielsen, who tweeted yesterday, "we do not have a policy of separating families at
the border. period." then why are why are you locking up kids in an abandoned walmart? question mark, exclamation point, colon-- with your head up it. ( laughter ) ( piano riff ) then this morning, nielsen made this shocking claim: >> we do not have the luxury of pretending that all individuals coming to this country as a family unit are in fact a family. >> stephen: yes, who can tell if these weeping toddlers are part of a family? they might not even be toddlers. they might be adults with shoes on their knees. ( laughter ) ask your grandparents. nielsen went on: >> we have to do our job, we will not apologize for doing for our job. >> stephen: yeah, they're not going to apologize. what would that even look like? "we've taken your children hostage-- sorry!" ( laughter ) and nielsen's not the only one defending this tactic. so is white house senior policy
adviser stephen miller, seen here in his prom photo. ( laughter ) ( applause ) dead. he's dead. just, dead. he calls separating children from their parents a "potent tool for stopping migrants from flooding across the border." which is fitting because i've always thought of stephen miller as "a potent tool." ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) i'm sorry, impotent. sorry. that's not true. i've always thought of him as an impotent tool. ( audience reacts ) ( applause ) of course, no national policy is complete until it has been vetted by the "fox & friends": >> some refer to these as cages. i can understand that point of view. look, i'm from a farm community, to me, i see the cin-link fences, it's more like a security pen to me. >> stephen: yes, they're not cages, they're pens. we're not treating these kids like zoo animals, we're treating them like farm animals.
( audience reacts ) but the best reaction came from border patrol, because they reached out to "cbs this morning" this morning. >> border patrol people have reached out to us. they were "very uncomfortable" in their words with his characterization of the words "cages." they said it's not inaccurate, but they're very uncomfortable. ( laughter ) >> stephen: oh, it's accurate. that's what's making them uncomfortable. that's like reading "hansel and gretel" and saying "it's accurate to say the witch eats children, but she lives in a house made of candy. where else is she going to get protein?" ( laughter ) trump's defenders are wrong and they are bad but it's important to give the devil its due-- he's a sponsor. so it's time for our new segment: the devil's advocate! ( cheers and applause ) ( devil voice )
ah, haha! hello, lucifer here. ( laughter ) you know, imprisoning children has been getting a lot of bad press recently, but the prison is that really the worst place for kids? i mean, have you been to a chucky cheese? some people refer to these facilities as cages. but, on the other hoof, you see, i'm from a rural part of hell, and to me, they look more like pens where we make charles manson fight thomas jefferson. ( laughter ) i'm sorry, tom, it was the slave stuff. ( laughter ) and these little cnalseade! they learn how to flush a toilet, which is good because the people defending this are full of crap. ( laughter ) by the way, jeff sessions, see you soon. ( cheers and applause ) ( cheers and applause )
thanks, thanks. before i return to the lake of fire, catch my guest spot on "kevin can wait." what? cancelled? but they killed his first wife! that's hilarious! ( laughter ) ♪ ( cheers and applause ) we've got a great show for you tonight. benicio del toro is here. but when we return, trump looks up to one of his heroes: kim jong-un. stick around! ( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) how do you become america's best-selling brand? you introduce the all-new ford ecosport and surprise people with how much they can get in a small suv. that means more standard features and more upgrades for a lot less than expected.
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give it up for jon batiste and stay human, everybody. ( cheers and applause ) you know, on friday, donald trump was watching "fox & friends" when he noticed they were doing a live shot on the white house lawn, so he tweeted, "wow, the highest rated-- by far-- morning show, at-'fox & friends,' is on the front lawn of the white house. maybe i'll have to take an unannounced trip down to see them?" it's not unannounced if you announce it! ( cheers and applause ) "melania, your surprise birthday party is tomorrow at 8:00 p.m. can you book a caterer, that would really help me out, i'm not going to be there." ( laughter ) so he shambled outside to talk to the chief fox friend, who asked him the kind of hard-hitting questions you've come to expect, such as "did you have a good birthday?" >> get any good presents? >> i got a lot of good kisses. >> who did you get kisses from? >> from the beautiful wife who is really doing great.
she is doing great. >> stephen: nothing says "my marriage is normal and real" like describing it as if you're an alien who just landed on earth.auful wife. i require manganese to live. give me your manganese." ( laughter ) ( piano riff ) but the main topic of discussion was trump's burgeoning bromance with north korea's dictator, kim jong-un. and one thing trump admires is kim's tough h.r. policies. >> just before you met with him, he cleaned house. three of his top generals, some of the hard-liners he fired. >> i think he fired at least, okay, when you say he fired-- >> three that we know of. >> maybe fired at least, fired may be a nice word. >> stephen: yeah, that might be a nice word because when kim fires someone, the first two words are: "ready... aim..." ( laughter ) >> jon: wow. >> stephen: and we just found out that kim didn't even ask us to cancel our war games with south korea. because trump tweeted: "holding
back the 'war games' during the negotiations was my request because they are very expensive and set a bad light during a good faith negotiation. also, quite provocative. wait, trump brought up stopping the war games? what kind of negotiation is that? that's like walking into an open house and telling the agent, "i'm paying over the asking price, and it had better be built on an ancient indian burial ground." "those walls better start bleeding!" ( laughter ) but all that matters to trump is that kim is a strong leader. >> he is the head of a country and i mean he is the strong head. don't let anyone think anything different. he speaks and his people sit up at attention. i want my people to do the same ( audience reacts ) >> stephen: trump wants people to treat him like a dictator! "i want people to stand up straight, clap when i walk by, the first person to stop clapping is fed to dogs, and if those dogs don't stand up and
clap, they're fed to cats. okay? build a statue of me, then build an even bigger statue of me deciding to build the first statue. everyone has to get my haircut. good luck figuring out what it is." ( laughter ) "all right? that simple. i'm a simple man. i -- i -- i -- i ." and that's not the only way trump's jealous of kim. at the summit, trump pointed out that even the administration-friendly "fox news" was not as lavish in its praise as north korea's state tv. and you can see why trump's jealous. north korean news broadcasts stories like kim jong-un learned to drive at age three, and his father kim jong-il in his first round of golf scored 11 holes-in-one. that's right, 11 holes-in-one on his first try. not 18, that would sound a little farfetched. north korean state media also claims kim jong-il invented the ha"dbrwieamburch whillr,e hcaee
( laughter ) so now we know what trump and kim talked about in that secret meeting. "we will stop the war games, if you teach me your ancient cheeseburger secrets." ( laughter ) trump especially admiredkorea'sn hee, affectionat nicknamed nor "the pink lady." he enjoyed her so much, he said that maybe she should get a job on u.s. television. well, they're still looking for someone to replace roseanne. ( audience reacts ) >> jon: oh! oh! that's a good thought! >> stephen: a hit show, lot of people are out of work. think of the kids. ( cheers and applause ) well, maybe "fox news" can't live up to north korea's state tv, but our in-house news team, "real news tonight" can. >> oh, praise the glorious trump! i am his humble receiver vanity
jill news lady. >> and i am jim anchorton. t 3 years of age donaldtrvehet e for kentucky fried chicken. >> and he invented the chiggen. bigly news, donald trump defeated the golden state warriors to win the n.b.a. chirp. >> won the game with a slim dunk home run touchdown. >> and he stood at attention for the glorious anthem! ♪ >> it was his first game of basketball! >> next. should robert mueller be fed to the dogs? the answer will surprise you. >> it is yes. yes, it is! ♪ ( cheers and applause ) we'll be right back with benicio del toro. ( cheers and applause ) myom w. ...before she puts them in the dishwasher. so what does the dishwasher do? new cascade platinum lets your dishwasher be the dish washer.
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( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! welcome back to "the late show"! ladies and gentlemen, my first guest tonight is an oscar winner you know from the usual suspects "traffic" and "che." his latest film is "sicario: day of the soldado"! please welcome benicio del toro! ( cheers and applause ) >> how are you? >> stephen: good. yeah, it's good to be back. >> stephen: nice to see you again. it has been many years but i'm very excited. i am a huge fan. i think i expressed this. i got to speak with you once at the old show, the colbert show,
but i was in character and i couldn't express how i really felt about you at the time. at the time, i gave you a t-shirt with me as che on there. >> yes. >> stephen: do you still have hav.it t framed it, till>>ti s have it. >> stephen: it's a collector's item. >> it is. >> stephen: and this is you as che, a fantastic portrayal of che. ( cheers and applause ) and i just want to say, since i interviewed you, i actually portrayed che as well. there i am. who wore it better, do you think?>> i think you're doing py good. >> stephen going for young, sexy che. i'm not sure what you were going for there. ( laughter ) are you comfortable with people fawning at you? you're a fantastic actor, i love everything you do, do you get tired of that? >> no.
( laughter ) >> stephen: that's a stupid question, i suppose. >> yeah. >> stephen: you didn't get in this business because you don't want attention. >> no. when you get it is good when it comes from the right place. >> stephen: yeah. well, here's the thing about your career that sort of amazes me you can be fantastic in traffic, you can be fantastic in the usual suspects, you can be fantastic in fear and loathing las vegas then i see you tas collector in the universe and i think that's a perfect part for him. what's the connective tissue? there couldn't be four more different parts. >> i don't know. the wardrobe. the shoes! >> stephen: it might be. because there's almost nothing i wouldn't want to sea you play. i'd like to see you play "hamlet." >> yeah, with the skill. >> stephen: but as fenster from "the usual suspects." >> yeah.
"hamlet," cuckoo! yeah. ( laughter ) >> stephen: because i've seen you play in traffic and also, obviously, in the sicario movies, i mistakenly thought you had mexican heritage, but you're from puerto rico. >> born in puerto rico, yes. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: have you been back recently? >> yeah, go back often. >> stephen: what's your hometown there? >> san juan, but i've got family on the west side of the island and i've got family many places in the island. >> stephen: it doesn't get reported on a lot on u.s. 24-hour news, at least stateside. what are the conditions there that people need to know about? >> well, you know, i mean, they're getting back to normal, you know. i mean, i was there about two weeks ago, maybe three weeks
ago, and everything is getting back to normal. it's taken a while. it's taken about a year. but you know what? the bottom line is, like, every american citizen that lives in puerto rico, if they don't get a right to vote or to have representation in congress, nothing is really going to change. ( applause ) that's really the bottom line. >> stephen: that's certainly true. and is that the all-american citizens? sounds like you're floating -- >> not at all. >> stephen: you could get a good shot at it, i'm sure. >> are you going to endorse me? >> stephen: yeah, i am right now endorsing benicio del toro. please have no skeletons in the closet. ( cheers and applause ) how do you choose a part? when you first see a script,
when it's give ton you, do you count your lines and go how big of a part is this for me? becactor when i was younger and iuse ado thought, how big a part is this? i know there's no such thing as a small part, just small actors. but there are all small parts. what's your method? >> well, it started like that. i used to look at a script and my character. >> stephen: fenster has six lines inhe whole movie but he's the first character i think of from that. >> well, thank you. but that was a really good script, and the cast was great. we had a chance to -- you know, i just -- i just, you know, went up to the director and i said, listen, i'm going to die on page 37, so why don't i try to do something here and try to go out on a limb? and i did and i wasn't sure if it was going to work out, and i really think it worked out because the movie was good, and all the other actors were good.
you know, you're only as good as your movie, really, but i got lucky that that movie broke out, and that's why you remembered me in the movie. >> stephen: so you don't care how many lines you have? >> no, i don't count them anymore. but i used to count them. not anymore. >> stephen: i heard you actually remove lines from films. >> yes, sir, i do. >> stephen: i heard that, but i don't understand it. what does that mean? >> well, you know, someone said that you will know a human being much better by their gestures than by what they say. >> stephen: was that a mime who said that? er ) who said that?ht( la i guess what i'm asking is, if you don't -- >> all this language, gestures. before there was even language, they were going, like -- ( laughter ) >> stephen: i got that.
that was really threatening. okay, yes. i can understand an actor when you're showing emotion like that. do you think that not talking would work in an interview? ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: so how is it rkthh an >> mmm... ( laughter ) >> stephen: really? i've heard that. yeah. yeah, i've heard stories about that. you're the collector in avengers 3. you appear to die -- spoiler alert. do you appear in avengers 4? just blink.
ah-ha! ( laughter ) that's verified. so what can you tell us about this clip we're about to watch? ( laughter ) >> stephen: jim? hey. you got the girl? >> she's with me now, yeah. i'm going to cut ties. you've got to git rid of her. >> i can't do that. what are you telling me? not this one. good luck. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: chilling. chilling. chilling. >> yeah, thank you. >> stephen: that's a great
scene. do you know what that scene could have used? fewer lines. ( laughter ) benicio, thank you for being here! >> thank you. >> stephen: "sicario: day of the soldado" is in theaters june 29. benio del toro, everybody! we'll be right back with alison brie. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) security: boarding passes out. sorry, one second it's loading, look. security: let's speed this up please. security: thank you. ♪ uh! ♪ can we fix this phone tonight? it's really slow. you can turn off the performance management feature. battery throttling. or you could just upgrade it. ♪ the sur fast galaxy s9. available now.
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louis caddo, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: you know my next guest from "mad men," "community," and now as ruth wilder, the method actress turned pro-wrestler in netflix's "glow." please welcome, alison brie! ( cheers and applause ) ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hi, ya! hi! >> stephen: mee nice to meet yo. i'm glad people laughed when you described my character on the show. it's not a joke! turned pro wrestler is a real thing. >> stephen: yes, but they
enjoyed the show so much the mere thought of your character was enough. >> delighted them. >> stephen: you don't even have to do the show anymore. >> thank you very much. ( laughter ) >> stephen: we're very bullish on "glow." you were nominated for a golden globe. congratulations on that. ( cheers and applause ) that is all the compliments are just to get to the story. ience you engaged in the criminal activity the night to have the golden globe, that you were an accomplice to a crime. >> that's more correct, yes. wellit w my rst me a the golden globe's, so i really wanted to make a splash. that's not true. my sister came with me as my date. >> stephen: okay. which was lovely and wonderful, until she stole seth rogen's cell phone. >> stephen: because she couldn't help herself? >> she wanted to sell his photos online. no.
that's not true either. ( laughter ) i love a good mystery. >> stephen: sure. o my sister came with me, and my husband dave franco was there as well, his movie the disaster artist was honored as well. so we were sitting separately. my sister was sitting with me. dave was sitting at the day sister artist table. at one part in the show when they announced my category, my cysten and dave switched hands to my husband and i could hold hands during my category and she went and sat between james franco and seth rogen. she returned to the table, very calm, cool and collected. we had a great night. but it's a crazy event. >> stephen: there's drinking. drinking. >> stephen: that's why it's better than the emmys. >> that's why. i can report there was a lot ofe for rest of the night.
we went separate ways and from one party to the other i ran into the agent of james and seth and she says, the craziest thing happened! someone stole seth's phone! we have been looking everywhere, and can you -- who would do such a thing on a night like tonight in this room of people?! and the whole time, i'm shocked. i have no idea what's going on. and i have just, like, i'm so sorry. i think we saw them over there. good luck. we took ten steps and my sister turns to me and she says, i have to tell you something... i was, like, what? and she goes, it's bad. and i said, it's bad. i said, tell me now! she reaches in her purse and pulls out two identical cell phones. she said, i'm the one who stole seth's phone! it was me. >> stephen: did she turn herself in? >> well, i turned her? >> stephen: you narced on your
sister? >> yes, because i thought it would be good to be the hero. >> stephen: at your sister's expense? >> yes. >> stephen: older or younger sister. >> my older sister. >> stephen: yes. o it's especially fun to prank her. even telling you this story tonight on national television is bringing me great joy, imagining her embarrassment. i ran back with the phone, i found the phone! i'm the hero! days later she said, couldn't we have just anonymously mailed the phone back? does seth rogen need to know tim one who took the phone? but there's been no fallout from that. seth and rigreat. ( laughter ) >> stephen: i'm so glad to hear about that. one of the things you do in "glow" is you guys do yo your on
stunts and you have to be in great shape. i saw a video of you doing 11 pullups. >> yes. >> stephen: i understand you can do 40 pullups. >> in sets. i'm not just going to jump up and do 40 straight through. i'll do a set of ten then a set of eight, then six. who said 40? i feel 26 might be the number. >> stephen: the headline said alison brie can do 40 pullups. >> it's in the papers. >> stephen: exactly. you could threaten my family and i could do four. have you always been athletic? >> not at all. i used to be big into theater sports. ( laughter ) >> stephen: not a lot of cardio in theater sports. >> just jaw cardio. >> stephen: could we have the suggestion of an athletic event? sorry, we can't do that. >> yeah. >> stephen: so how long have you trained for this? >> well, i've been training with my personal trainer for about seven years, but very casually,
sort of, and then when i booked "glow," actually while i was still auditioning for "glow," i was, like, let's do it, this is a wrestler, i want to be really strong. i'm going to have to, like, throw women across the room. that's sort of less true. i'm not just -- you know, it takes cooperation and skill. there's a different skill set there. but, yeah, in the last couple of years, rev really honed in on it and done exciting things. pullups were one to have the mainly goal. i had never done a pullup in my life. it was working up to do one -- >> stephen: before you do this, you couldn't do one pullup? >> i wouldn't even be able to imagine doing one pullup. >> stephen: and now there's documented evidence you can do 40? >> it's true. i film it often because i'm very proud. >> stephen: there are several videos of you online doing pullups. >> i've posted all of them. ( laughter ) >> stephen: congratulations. i wish i could.
( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: "glow" season two premieres june 29 on netflix. alison brie, everybody! we'll be right back with robin thede. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) ♪ only tylenol® rapid release gels have laser drilled holes. they release medicine fast, for fast pain relief. tylenol® means they won't hike your rateseness over one mistake. see, liberty mutual doesn't hold grudges. for drivers with accident forgiveness, liberty mutual won't raise their rates because of their first accident. liberty stands with you. liberty mutual insurance. you act fast.an intruder... boo so do we. raid kills roaches 7 times faster than the next leading ant and roach spray. 7 times faster? [gasps] raid! get raid and get tough on roaches fast. sc johnson
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( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! welcome back to "the late show"! ( cheers and applause ) my next guest tonight host rundown with robin thede ons th b.e.t.! please welcome robin thede! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> thank you! thank you so much! >> stephen: hello! three people stood for me, i will have you know. >> stephen: three of the best, though. three of the best people stood up. >> this is gorgeous. >> stephen: thank you! you're gorgeous! >> thanks! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: now, we have
something in common. you and me and seth myers have something in common. >> yes! >> stephen: we all host talk shows. >> yep. >> stephen: and all graduated from northwestern university! >> yes, we did! > ( cheers and applause ) >> and we all graduated in 2012. ( laughter >> stephen: seth and i majored in banter. >> no, they have taken that out of the curriculum after i got there. >> stephen: it's quips. i was good in quips. >> stephen: what did you study ithere? >> broadcast journalism. >> stephen: from journalism to comedy. >> yes. >> stephen: was that a hard transition? >> it's much easier. the journalism was the best in the country and it's very hard and i don't like to work that much! >> stephen: that's why i went into improv, because you didn't have to learn lines! >> right, and i went to second city after northwestern. >> stephen: so did i. boy.
>> we're the same person! >> stephen: it's like looking in a mirror! ( saying at the same time ) ( laughter ) >> this is very strange! >> stephen: wow... ( laughter ) i wish i could pull off that dress. i just can't. now, the rundown, your show on b.e.t., it talks about maybe some stories that slipped through the cracks of other satirical shows. what are shows you might cover i wouldn't have the insight for. >> as a black woman in late night i was able to talk about things with agencies others might not be able to. i was surprised at some of the thing i got to cover. did you know soap dispenser are racists? >> stephen: why? omebody said, whoo! racism! >> stephen: how does that manifest itself? >> so artificial intelligence is
often -- long story short -- it uses the same data sets. so if a white man creates artificial intelligence, he uses his own skill color. so if he creates an automatic soap dispenser, the little artificial intelligence is only looking for that color skin. >> stephen: so they're looking for me. >> yes, you. and if you notice -- round of applause, black people in here ( applause ) very disverse audience. do you ever notice when you don't put your hands under the soap dispenser, they don't work? so white people, help your black friends out and go to the bathroom with them and wave your hands under there so they can wash their hands. >> stephen: aivmai thap dispenser? that looks like a waste of computer power. i used to be a correspondent. >> a fabulous one. >> stephen: i had a good time
for mr. jon stewart ( cheers and applause ) and you were the head writer for "the nightly show" with larry. >> yeah ( cheers and applause ) and you were also a correspondent. >> yes, i have a lot of jobs. >> stephen: do you have any horror stories from being a correspondent? because you get put in unusual and sometimes tough situations when you're a correspondent for a comedy show. >> yes, that is true. everybody thinks it's fun and set up. >> stephen: you go to work and laugh all day. >> no, that is not true. they will put your life in danger. >> stephen: for a laugh. for a laugh, right. so there was this fad that was going around called plantation weddings. have you heard of this? >> stephen: i have not. people were going to former slave plantations, probably redundant, but they were having weddings, dressing in antebellum gear and hiring black people to play slaves in their wedding. absolutely true.
so larry sent me and another correspondent to go figure out what was going on. so we go there and half our crew is not black and two of us are. so they say, where do you guys want to sleep? do you want to sleep in the big house or in the newly-constructed building? and me and the other black person were, like, we want to be in the big house. and they're, like, that's good because it's haunted. and i'm, like, okay, great. so our crew sleeps there the first night. we wake up in the morning, see them at breakfast. they said, we have to get out of here, it really is haunted, the ghosts were opening the doors, turning on the fire alarm and yelling at us a lot. and we were laughing going, why would slave ghosts haunt us? >> stephen: true. everybody shows black people are immune to being haunted by slave ghosts. cut to the second night, go to sleep, i'm laying in bed.
i wake up because i think i hear something around 4:30 in the morning. and i listen, and behind my ear, i hear --deeph ani'm, like, what is that? and i listen and i hear it again ( deep breath ) and i'm, like, i'm black! you can't haunt me! and the sun sabt to come up! >> stephen: did you yell the sun sabt to come up? >> yes, and i screamed that and the light started peeking in the window and i said, get out of there! and i feel a rush of air as the light comes in the window and i look over and there's nothing there. i go to walk out of the room and the other black person's room is across from mine and the door is broken off the hinges. i wake him up and i said, was your door broken when you were asleep? and he's, like, we gotta get out of here. so turns out black people can be haunted by slave ghosts. >> stephen: i want to go
there. >> no! do you believe in ghosts? >> stephen: i don't believe in them. i want to go there because i might be convinced there's an afterlife. >> or is there? or do they just wander around old plantations. >> that's sad. depends on who you ask. >> stephen: robin, thank you so much for being here. ( cheers and applause ) robin thede, everybody! we'll be right back.
( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: that's it for "the late show," everybody. tune in tomorrhe blin, ruth neg, and musical guest, walk the moon. now stick around for james corden. good night! captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> james: hello and welcome to "the late late show" in london! i'm standing on the roof of the historic central hall at westminster, and what a place to be! you can see westminster abbey over there. that's the london eye.