Skip to main content

tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  February 21, 2019 11:35pm-12:38am PST

11:35 pm
captioning sponsored by cbs >> what william barr might do. we believe he's going to get the mueller report next week. the big question is, what does barr then do with it? ♪ ♪ ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause )
11:36 pm
( laughter ) >> announcer: it's "the late show" with stephen colbert! tonight, stephen welcomes annette bening, ana navarro, and musical guest benn platt, featuring jon batiste and "stay human." and now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( theme song playing ) >> stephen: over the top! over the top! thanks, everybody! please! ( cheers and applause ) welcome!
11:37 pm
welcome! welcome to "the late show." i'm your host stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) i'm so happy to be with you over there, out there and in here because it's a strange day. a very strange day, you know. >> jon: mm-hmm. >> stephen: it's a strange and disturbing news day in america. the "new york times" summed it with their new slogan "all the news that's ick to print." the icky starts with "empire" actor jussie smollett, who wa -- ( audience reacts ) -- i feel the same way -- who was taken into custody today for filing a false report, after police determined that he staged a racist and homophobic attack against himself last month. now, this story involves race, sexuality, politics, and violence. so, i need to tread very lightly here, and simply say, what a (bleep)! ( cheers and applause ) just, oh! no! just -- i'm sorry. i just -- come on!
11:38 pm
smollett cast himself as a fake national symbol of our real racial and political divide when he told police he had been attacked by two masked men at the entrance of the loews hotel in chicago. he claimed that they yelled racist and homophobic remarks used president donald trump's signature slogan, "make america great again." tied a noose around his neck and poured bleach on him, then fled. but police say that smollett actually hired two brothers, who are also black, to carry out the scheme. look, i'm not an expert, but if you're going to fake a white supremacist hate crime, hire white guys! ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> jon: two white guys! maybe guys that don't live in chicago, too. >> stephen: this is one place where you don't want diversity. ( laughter ) i lived in chicago. they have white men there. go to a blackhawks game. ( laughter )
11:39 pm
smollett also, and this is a conspiracy no-no, paid the brothers by check! ( laughter ) come on. and it didn't help that he wrote in the memo line "for faking hate crime against me, jussie smollett, the guy from 'empire.'" this whole thing is a horrible affront to actual victims of hate crimes, done horribly. ( applause ) >> jon: yes, absolutely. >> stephen: there's no good reason to to something like this, but smollett had a particularly bad one. chicago police? >> this stunt was orchestrated by smollett because he was dissatisfied with his salary. >> stephen: what?! he staged a hate crime to boost his career? there are legitimate ways to do that. hasn't he ever heard of a sex tape? ( laughter ) come on, a night vision camera on the dresser. "somehow" it leaks, bingo, you're hosting "the late show."
11:40 pm
okay? ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: you got the tape? you got the tape? >> stephen: i'm not saying anything. i'm just saying they don't give these jobs away. ( laughter ) now, along with everyone else in america, the president is mad at jussie, tweeting, "at-jussie-smollett, what about maga and the tens of millions of people you insulted with your racist and dangerous comments!?" (as trump) "after all, racist and dangerous comments, kind of my thing. never rub another man's rhubarb." ( applause ) that's true. >> jon: i won't be touching no rhubarb. >> stephen: but smollett isn't the only icky news today. last night, we found out that the f.b.i. has arrested a coast guard officer who was planning a rampage against democrats and journalists. when they raided his apartment they found a huge cache of ammunition and weapons. look at how neat that is. ( laughter ) who says men don't like marie
11:41 pm
kondo? ( laughter ) "this grenade sparks joy in me ( laughter ) also, it will spark a fire. it's incendiary." the officer in question, christopher p. hasson, once wrote in a letter "i am a long time white nationalist, having been a skinhead 30 plus years." 30 years? that is a long time. he is close to skinhead retirement. soon he can cash in his 401kkk ( laughter ) ( applause ) that got a better response than i thought. >> jon: i like. that's a good one. ( applause ) >> stephen:. >> stephen: hasson was plotting to murder a huge list of people, including politicians, journalists professors, judges and others. in one letter hassan wrote, "i am dreaming of a way to kill almost every last person on the earth." sorry, but the cheesecake factory is way ahead of you. ( laughter ) they have an appetizer of
11:42 pm
cheeseburgers. ( laughter ) so this man is a homicidal, racist monster, serving in our military, but don't worry, the commander in chief slapped him down with the savage tweet of: nothing. silence. makes sense. hasson only wants to kill everyone on earth. it's not like he's hosting "snl." plus, trump couldn't tweet about it. he was too busy denouncing bad cell phone service. (as trump) "i want 5g, and even 6g, technology in the united states as soon as possible. it is far more powerful, faster, and smarter than the current standard." sounds like something happened to the white house wifi. (as trump) "i've got my phone here, but no internet. what's the deal? someone help me find the g-spot." "i don't understand why the -- there's five of them.
11:43 pm
i hear there's five ." ( piano riff ) now, it's possible that trump doesn't know what he's talking about here because 6g technology doesn't exist. he thinks 6g is your opening offer to silence a porn star. (as trump) "okay, okay, i understand. look, mikey, i'm willing to go up to 130g, but first, loball them. which by the way, is what i'm paying her not to talk about. the low balls." >> jon: oh, oh, oh, oh... ( piano riff ) >> stephen: come on! he's a 72-year-old man! ( speaking in tongues ) ♪ swing low ♪ sweet chariot ♪ >> stephen: thank you. that is terrible. he returned on -- (as trump) "american companies must step up their efforts, or get left
11:44 pm
behind. there is no reason that we should be lagging behind on dot-dot-dot-dot-dot-dot-dot-dot dot-dot-- something that is so obviously the future. i want the united states to win through competition, not by blocking out currently more advanced technologies. we must always be the leader in everything we do, especially when it comes to the very exciting world of technology!" yeah, trump's a big supporter of cutting-edge technology like (as trump) "wall." ( cheers and applause ) "wall. wheel. wheel. wall ." god, i miss barack obama. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: comin', number 44! >> stephen: that's why i was so excited to see him last night at the duke-north
11:45 pm
carolina basketball game. there he is living his best life. obama became part of the game's story when duke forward and projected number one draft pick zion williamson's shoe exploded into pieces while he was wearing it. williamson's okay. unlike nike's stock price. ( laughter ) turns out, there is such a thing as bad publicity. ( laughter ) but check out what obama said, the moment it happened: "his shoe broke." ( laughter ) ( applause ) it is so refreshing to see a president who can actually see a problem and identify it. ( laughter ) you know? ( cheers and applause ) he sees it and calls it out. you know trump would have said -- (as trump) "fake shoes."
11:46 pm
( laughter ) of course, obama's not everybody's cup of tea. some people prefer trump. for instance, a lot of local news stations are owned by a company called the sinclair broadcast group, which is accused of being pro-trump, and no one more pro than their chief political analyst: former trump special assistant and hitman realizing he dropped his gun in the toilet, boris epstein. earlier this week, epstein appeared in a must-run video on 50 sinclair news stations across 28 states with this president's day message: >> presidents day is an important holiday for us to reflect upon those who we have elected to the highest office in our land. we are lucky to currently have a leader in president trump, whose term so far has been, i would argue, one of the most successful in our nation's history. if this keeps up, much to the chagrin of many democrats, the presidents on mount rushmore may have to make room for a new addition. ( audience reacts ) >> stephen: okay. all right. i understand. ( booing )
11:47 pm
( laughter ) ( applause ) yes, i know the feeling, jon. i understand your reaction. sounds crazy, but trump on rushmore might not be that far-fetched, because, and i swear this is real, there's a section of the mountain that already looks like him. jim? ( laughter ) there you go. ( piano riff ) trug. that's a more -- there you go. that's a more healthy looking version of him. but if pro-trump reporting keeps the president happy and his aging skinhead fan boys calm, then we've prepared an even more pro-trump message from our in-house broadcast team, real news tonight. >> welcome to real news tonight. i'm jim afternoonerton. >> and i'm july news lady. our top story, our tremendous president. >> recently someone suggested he be put on mt. rushmore. what do you think of president trump sharing a mountain with washington and linken? >> it's an insult, jim. their wives were fours at best.
11:48 pm
>> ugos. and the lincoln memorial should be created like a baby by papa trump. >> isn't it time to label the washington monument donald trump's penis. >> is alexandria ocasio-cortez lying about being attractive? >> she's a witch! ♪ >> stephen: we've got a great show for you tonight. annette bening is here. but when we return, i'll be right back here with more monologue. stick around! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) get to kohl's... for healthy living... and get kohl's cash! pick up women's adidas shoes - and get $10 kohl's cash... or, the fitbit versa - and you'll get $40 kohl's cash! plus - kids' under armour tees are just $20.00. this weekend - only at kohl's.
11:49 pm
breathe right strips are designed to simply when nighttime nasal congestion closes in, open your nose right back up. ♪ breathe better. sleep better. breathe right. ♪ e*trade core portfolios is an easy, automated way to get invested. we'll save you time by building, monitoring and managing a portfolio for you and provide all hands-on deck support when you need it helping you become top dog. ♪ stop fearing your alarm clock... with zzzquil pure zzzs.
11:50 pm
a drug-free blend of botanicals with melatonin that supports your natural sleep cycle so you can seize the morning. zzzquil pure zzzs. i was looking for a companion and we-we had a connection corny as it sounds, it was love at first sight it was kismet. adopt love at our national adoption event. this weekend at your local petsmart®. than the education there'sof a young mind.portant let's go. let's go. let's go. except maybe being first in line to the grand opening of the world's largest rollercoaster.
11:51 pm
[ cheering ] the volkswagen atlas. more room means more fun. ♪ [baby crib musical mobile] millions are still exposed to the dangers of secondhand smoke.
11:52 pm
and some of them can't do anything about it. but you can. protect your family. visit tobaccofreeca.com. so cute i could just eat you right up, yeah! (gasps) oh, look at you, look at you! spokeswoman: try a mcdonald's mini meal for just 3.99. (pleasant whistling tones) ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: jon batiste and banned banned.
11:53 pm
banned -- jon batiste and "stay human"! give it up for the band! ( cheers and applause ) welcome back. i'm still here. the band is over there. i'm right here. right here in south carolina. have a seat. thank you very much. we're here because we had too much monologue for one monologue so we're doing two monologues tonight and here's what's going on -- donald trump weighs in on the law and how he sees justice a lot, but the case he should actually be paying attention to is the one for trump associate and grandma after she got into club drugs, roger stone. ( laughter ) a week or two weeks ago, stone was under a limited gag order to prevent him from poisoning the jury pool in his upcoming trial. because he likes to shoot off at the mouth a lot and accuse people of malfeasance in the justice department, and you can't do that. but he still violated it by posting this photo of the judge presiding over his case with crosshairs next to her head on instagram.
11:54 pm
bad idea. bad idea. if you want to threaten a judge, do it somewhere no one will ever see it, like linkedin. ( laughter ) so he did this. it hit the fan. so, monday, he issued a written apology, and in court today stone apologized again, and laid it on really thick, telling the judge, "i recognize that i let the court down. i let you down. i let myself down. i let my family down." by "family," of course, stone is referring to his entourage of trained penguin assassins. ( laughter ) the judge asked stone to explain the crosshairs next to her head and he said, i did not recognize the image at first and later thought its a celtic symbol. ( audience reacts ) yes, it goes back to roman times, when the celts in northern europe used to threaten judges on instagram. ( laughter ) not only that, stone said he didn't even know who posted the image, blaming it on volunteers who work for him.
11:55 pm
when asked which one of them might have done it, stone struggled to recall the names of his five or six volunteers who have had access to his phone. saying, "it's a revolving situation." that really sounds like a guy at a hotel bar trying to soft-pitch wife swapping. "we have a... revolving situation." ( laughter ) still, i can't imagine that instilled a lot of confidence. "your honor, you can trust me. i'm a man who gives my phone to a rotating series of strangers whose names i don't recall. i always forget who's in charge of threatening federal judges-- is it glasses or brown-hair-guy?" i can't remember. i find it strange that roger stone ats volunteers. does that mean someone else's community service was working for roger stone? ( laughter ) they must have done something terrible. ( laughter ) naturally, the judge was not impressed, saying, "i have serious doubts about whether you've learned any lesson at all. you appear to need clear
11:56 pm
boundaries." yes, possibly a bunch of vertical steel boundaries. ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) but that's for later. for now, she gave stone a full gag order. "no statements about the case on tv, radio, print reporters, or internet. no posts on social media." so, if you want to communicate with roger stone, do it the old fashioned way and contact him through his russian hackers. ( laughter ) we'll be right back with annette bening. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) hey mom, are we going snorkeling, zipling, to the beach? alright, we're doing this. which one? all of them! get your best sleep at sea with princess. 7-day caribbean cruises from four ninety-nine. visit princess.com or call 1-800-princess. hi. ♪ oh, your cute.
11:57 pm
oh. you guys hungry? (dinosaurs screeching) ♪ [indistinct conversation] [friend] i've never seen that before. ♪ ♪ i have... ♪ i have...
11:58 pm
♪ ♪ now it's your turn to play. ♪ ♪ only tylenol® rapid release gels have laser drilled holes. they release medicine fast, for fast pain relief. tylenol® intnow with sculpt.se rockstar 24/7 denim hurry in to old navy for all jeans on sale up to fifty percent off. with kids from eight dollars, adults from fifteen dollars, only at old navy.
11:59 pm
12:00 am
( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! welcome back to "the late show" this fine thursday evening here
12:01 am
in new york, new york. my first guest is a four time oscar nominee who now stars in "captain marvel." this spring, she returns to broadway for the first time in over 30 years. please welcome back to "the late show," annette bening! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) hello. >> hi. >> stephen: nice to see you again. >> thank you. nice to be here. >> stephen: how have you been? we've not seen you in a little bit. last time you were here you were on adaptation of the seagull. >> good memory. >> stephen: yeah, well. i made this amazing movie which was so much fun and i was literally flown to an
12:02 am
undisclosed location in the middle of the night to make this film. >> stephen: what was the location? >> i'm not allowed to divulge that. >that. >> stephen: i'm in show business. don't think i don't know things that people don't know. >> what do you know? >> stephen: i can't tell you. i might know things you don't know, annette bening. >> do you know who i play? >> stephen: what? do you know who i play? >> stephen: i can't even -- ah! >> stephen: i can't even say whether i know that! ( laughter ) you just broke the first rule of talking about marvel movies. tell me what you can tell me or us about your movie and i'll tell you about whether i know more than you told us. >> i play the supreme intense generals, the god-like entity, the leader of the people, the artificial intelligence which consists of the greatest independent lects of the cree
12:03 am
people for the last 11 million years. and there's more but i can't see it. >> stephen: and i know it. that's what i can't say. this must be so from you straighting for these people but i'm having a great time. did you have to learn all that or did you have some knowledge of the m.c.u. before you went into it? i had basic knowledge of enjoying the movies, but i found the script slightly confusing. however, i took into my confidence and the confidence of the entire disney corporation my two -- two of my kids, who i then told the story to and asked them to please explain to me what the hell was going on, which they then did. but there's a reason for that, and once the movie comes out, it will be clear why it was somewhat confusing.
12:04 am
>> stephen: did they have to keep elements of it even from you? ( laughter ) >> no. >> stephen: oh. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know, it's all -- >> my children were actually able to divulge everything to me. >> stephen: okay, good. well, let's divulge something to the audience. we have a clip. can you tell us what's happening in this clip? >> yes. i am meeting carol danvers played by captain marvel in the virtual chamber because she's about to go into battle and i am preparing her. >> stephen: okay. ( laughter ) >> there's -- intelligence. your commander insistous are fit to serve. >> i am. you struggle with your emotions, with your past which fuels them. you are just one victim of the
12:05 am
scroll expansion that has threatened our civilization for centuries. imposters who silently infiltrate, then take over our planets. horrors that you remember and so much that you do not. >> stephen: all right. ( cheers and applause ) it's all. i'm in. a little -- a little different than an adaptation of chekov the seagull. what's it like going from a script to the largest, most profitable movie series of all time? >> completely fun. every moment was for me such a joy, and i literally did go in the middle of the night on a plane to a secret location. >> stephen: did they not tell you where you were going? >> no, i knew where i was going. >> stephen: okay. it was quite a ways, because
12:06 am
i was here in new york and i had top shoot the next morning. >> stephen: so it has to be on earth. ( laughter ) >> stephen: because you couldn't get off planet that quickly. >> and the people are all so good at what they do, and there's this giant machine, and you're just like put into the middle of it, and it was really fun for me. >> stephen: okay. well, i would love to pry something out of you, but i don't think i'm going to, you're very good. now, you're part of this fictional superhero universe now, but i know that you know some very and have known some very prominent people and people who are heros of yours. who are some to have the people you point to and say that person is super heroic? >> i have been lucky, i've met a lot of people. senator george mcgovern was a great hero i got to meet. >> stephen: i met him once. i asked him to sign my nixon poster. >> did he? >> stephen: yeah, it was fun. he was a great man. he was a great world war ii
12:07 am
pilot, just to remind everybody. and then john mccain was a good friend of ours. ( applause ) >> stephen: how did you know john mccain? >> john mccain was -- is -- was a very dear friend of gary hart's who was a friend of my husband's and we met years ago, and when john was running with president bush, we got to know him and spent time with him and his family. when he would come to los angeles, he would come to our house. >> stephen: i heard he's fun. o fun, and also told us great stories. when he came over, one time, he asked for a vodka. so we got him vodka. he quickly said, there's no vodka in this. and then, of course, we realized that our children had been stealing the vodka. ( laughter ) >> stephen: oh! ( applause ) that is fantastic! >> did you do that? >> stephen: no! i never did that.
12:08 am
no, i never did that. no, i smoked a lot of weed, though. ( laughter ) you're returning to broadway for the first time in 30 years. what was the first show you did? >> that was a play called coastal disturbances that was off broadway that moved to broadway that we did for a year which was such a lucky, incredible experience. now we're doing "all my sons" at the roundabout this spring. we're starting rehearsals next week. tracy lets. >> stephen: directing or writing? >> he is in it. >> stephen: he's brilliant. he's great. >> stephen: what's it like, a play written in the '40s? >> arthur miller was still writing it during world war ii. he did it in 1947. it's likely about whether our greatest responsibility is to ourselves and our family or to the greater good.
12:09 am
it's a beautiful play, magnificently constructed, and it's likely a masterpiece, so i feel very lucky that i get to give it a whirl, try it out. >> stephen: you and your husband warren beatty are -- is it fair to say you're famously liberal. >> yeah. >> stephen: what is it like for you to watch the news these days? ( laughter ) is there a lot of screaming at the television, or do you just unplug and have nothing, like, i can't take this? >> no, we watch constantly. but then we watch you, and you make it all better. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: well then my work is done here. my work is done. thank you so much. >> thank you. >> stephen: "captain marvel" is in theaters march 8 and previews of "all my sons" begin april 4 at the american airlines theater. annette bening, everybody! we'll be right back with ana navarro. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) you still stressed about buying our first house, sweetie? yeah, i thought doing some hibachi grilling would help take
12:10 am
my mind off it all. maybe you could relieve some stress by calling geico for help with our homeowners insurance. geico helps with homeowners insurance? they sure do. and they could save us a bundle of money too. i'm calling geico right now. cell phone? it's ringing. get to know geico and see how much you could save on homeowners and condo insurance. get to know geico and see how much you could ♪ charmin ultra soft! it's softer than ever. charmin ultra soft is softer than ever... so it's harder to resist. okay, this is getting a little weird. enjoy the go! with charmin! ♪there's no escape... it's taking over.♪ ♪...you better get moving. ready or not♪ ♪...it's about to go down here it comes now♪ ♪...get ready (oh oh oh oh), get ready♪
12:11 am
♪...moving. ready or not ♪...get ready (oh oh oh oh) new galaxy. free buds. music to your ears. get free galaxy buds when you pre-order galaxy s10 or s10+. (crunch) (crunch) (crunch) hvr dips. you either love it or you really love it. starts with looking buiat something old,nk
12:12 am
and saying, "really?" so capital one is building something completely new. capital one cafes. inviting places with people here to help you, not sell you. and savings and checking accounts with no fees or minimums. because that's how it should be. you can open one from right here or anywhere in 5 minutes. seriously, 5 minutes... this is banking reimagined. what's in your wallet? discover your inner hero. and unlock the power... to speed through everything... in the blink of an eye. hertz fast lane powered by clear... in select airports 2019. hertz. we're here to get you there. marvel studios' captain marvel. in theaters march 8th.
12:13 am
12:14 am
so cute i could just eat you right up, yeah! (gasps) oh, look at you, look at you! spokeswoman: try a mcdonald's mini meal for just 3.99. (pleasant whistling tones) ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! welcome back! welcome back to "the late show"! folks, my next guest is a cnn political analyst and republican strategist who is one of the president's fiercest critics. please welcome, ana navarro!
12:15 am
( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: thank you for joining us. >> thank you. >> stephen: nice to see you. i'm used to seeing you on cnn where you are quite critical of the president. >> mm-hmm, proudly so. >> stephen: yeah. tell me a little bit about your history as a political and republican consultant. >> looks, i have been a republican. i am a proud immigrant. >> stephen: where does your family come from? >> i came from nicaragua. >> stephen: sure, a wonderful spot. >> in 1980, i came here when i was eight years old. republicans at that point were against communists. this was back when they were against russian oligarchs and stuff like that. that's how old i am. >> stephen: sure, sure, sure.
12:16 am
i have been a republican since i was eight years old. donald trump has been a republican for eight minutes. >> stephen: right. i was a republican when donald trump was a democrat. and when he was an independent. and, so, there's no way in hell i'm going to let that guy push me out of the party where i have been for my entire life. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: i admire your fortitude, but there's no denying the republican party now is the party of trump. there's no one in the republican party who dares gain say trump when he wants something because they're afraid of the base. has opportunity party left you? >> most republicans who dare to oppose trump lost the elections, decide not to run again or dievmentd there's precious few
12:17 am
of us who feel like republicans on an island on exile. there are only a few of us who remember what the principles and convictions are. a lot of people compromised the principals and convictions to accommodate a man who has no principals or convictions. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: so let's just imagine for a moment there comes a day when he's willing to leave the white house. ( cheering ) >> okay. let's enjoy the moment. tell me more. describe it in more detail for me. >> stephen: they drag him out by his fingernails. ( laughter ) okay, when that day comes, what happens to all the people who didn't stand up to them in the republican party? that's a hot black tar they will never scrape off their body. >> i think it's going to take a while. i think it's going to take a while for the republicans to ever go back to what they were. i think, you're right, donald
12:18 am
trump is now the head of the republican party. he has staged not a hostile takeover, because there are willing fools and people willing to sell out their souls in order to go to a white house christmas party. ( applause ) >> stephen: okay. look, i don't blame them. i have been to the white house christmas parties, they're really nice. you can even steal napkins and things from the -- ( laughter ) >> stephen: i've done it. i've done it. >> you can stuff as much as you can in your pacts, always go to the white house with pockets. >> stephen: very important. on cnn, you're known biooccasionally busting out props. this is you buggs out some popcorn. do you remember what this was for? ( laughter ) >> let's see, that could have been for one time when something was so absurd and surreal, i thought i was watching a movie. maybe it was today. >> stephen: could have been.
12:19 am
you also were talking to a fellow republican who supports trump and you started filing your nails when he started talking. >> yes, i remember that. that was when i was asked to give an opinion on something that -- what's his name -- donny, jr. had said and, you know, likely, i have no interest in opining on what he says. he wasn't even good enough to make the nepotism higher cut in the white house. >> stephen: he didn't actually get hired. when did you decide to pull out the props? what's the line for you to decide? >> when it's really just so ridiculous that i think, you know, a picture speaks a thousand words. you know, being asked to comment about donald trump, jr. whose really only call to fame is donald trump, sr. is something that really deserves nail filing. >> stephen: they look good. they're on point.
12:20 am
( applause ) now, roger stone, today in court, had a an extended gag order. >> he walked right into it. i mean, he is so stupid, and he is so much roger stone. roger stone is so apt my named because he has the intelligence quotient of a stone. how are you in a serious legal situation and playing around, threatening a judge? you don't to that in the united states of america. move to venezuela or cuba if you want to do that. ( applause ) we should really take it seriously because let's remember that, in this country, there are judges who have been killed by traitors and crazy people. >> stephen: the fellow just arrested the other day, the guy from the coast guard who, what
12:21 am
did all the weapons and going to kill judges, politicians and members to have the media. i'm sure cnn was a target on the list. >> i have several colleagues and friends who were on that list. it is very serious and that's why, when the president of the united states keeps calling the press the enemy to have the people, i take it seriously. i will never get used to that. this is not a place where we censor free press. when we do, it is a threat to our democracy. >> stephen: you're also on the view on fridays. >> mm-hmm. >> stephen: what can you speak on "the view" that you can't cnn. how is that different as a gig? >> for example, i can now prou proudly say i can tell the difference between the five kardashian jenners. there are five, right? >> stephen: i haven't the slightest idea. >> three, four? >> stephen: i do not care.
12:22 am
( laughter ) >> well, it has broadened my pop culture band width, which i'm a news junky, i'm a nerd, i live in a bubble, and i now know who trystan somebody is. he cheated on somebody. >> stephen: what?! yes. >> stephen: he cheated?! this has been on the news now for so many days, it's actually going to force me to google him. >> stephen: be careful. google can be very dangerous. ( laughter ) a lot of bad things on the internet. >> as long as i'm not using the internet to communicate with guccfier or russian hackers, i think i'm good. >> stephen: >> stephen: she's on "the view" on fridays. ana navarro, everybody! we'll be right back with a performance by ben platt. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) ♪
12:23 am
(butcher) we both know you're not just looking for pork chops. you're searching for something more... ...red-blooded. right this way. you thirst for adrenaline, you hunger for raw power. well, you've come to the right place. the road is yours, dig in. she looked at me and... athat was it.t we had this instant trust. she helps me... uh... see the beauty in the world. adopt love at our national adoption event.
12:24 am
this weekend at your local petsmart®. you're going to do your thing. and no period is going to slow you down! with tampax, you get protection that moves with you for total comfort. choose pearl for your chill, pocket for your moves, and active for your hustle. do your thing with tampax. [ soft piano music playing ] mm, uh, what do you do for fun? -not this. ♪ -oh, what am i into? mostly progressive's name your price tool. helps people find coverage options based on their budget. flo has it, i want it, it's a whole thing, and she's right there. -yeah, she's my ride. this date's lame. he has pics of you on his phone. -they're very tasteful.
12:25 am
12:26 am
( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) introducing high-rise rockstar 24/7 denim now with sculpt.
12:27 am
hurry in to old navy for all jeans on sale up to fifty percent off. with kids from eight dollars, adults from fifteen dollars, only at old navy. ♪ now it's your turn to play. ♪
12:28 am
♪ dad! hiding when i was supposed to be quitting. i thought, i should try something that works. i should try nicorette. nicorette mini relieves sudden cravings fast. anytime. anywhere. nicorette mini. you know why. we know how. nicorette mini. ♪ ♪ just gonna leave you alone. ♪ ♪ ...you realize you can totally eat out more? that's yes for less. get the latest spring trends for your home at 20 to 60 percent off specialty store prices. at ross. yes for less.
12:29 am
exactly what you need... yes. ...for your growing family? that's yes for less. everything your pet needs at 20 to 60 percent off specialty store prices. at ross. yes for less. >> stephen: my musical guest's new album, "sing to me instead," comes out next month and he goes on tour this spring. performing "bad habit," ladies and gentlemen, ben platt! ( cheers and applause )
12:30 am
♪ you always said that i'd come back to you again ♪ 'cause everybody needs a friend, it's true ♪ someone to quiet the voices in my head ♪ make 'em sing to me instead it's you ♪ hate to say that i love you hate to say that i need you ♪ hate to say that i want you but i do ♪ bad habit, i know but i'm needin' ♪ you right now can you help me out ♪ can i lean on you been one of those days
12:31 am
♪ sun don't wanna come out can you help me out ♪ can i lean on you you make me feel like ♪ i'm floatin' off the ground above this little town ♪ you do look at me smile with ♪ tears in my eyes i love the way you lie ♪ i do hate to say that i'm lonely ♪ hate to say that i miss you hate to say that it's ♪ dark in here but it's true, oh ♪ bad habit, i know but i'm needin' you right now ♪ can you help me out
12:32 am
can i lean on you ♪ been one of those days sun don't wanna come out ♪ can you help me out can i lean on you ♪ oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪ can i lean on you oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪ oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh can i lean on you ♪ hate to say that i'm lonely hate to say that i miss you ♪ hate to say that it's dark in here
12:33 am
♪ but it's true, oh bad habit, i know ♪ but i'm needin' you right now can you help me out ♪ can i lean on you ♪ ♪ ♪ oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh can i lean on you ♪ oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪ you ♪ oh-oh-oh-oh-oh can i lean on you ♪ hate to say that i love you hate to say that i need you ♪ hate to say that i want you but i do ♪
12:34 am
( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: ben platt, everybody! we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) at bayer our roots run deep.
12:35 am
12:36 am
so chances are you've seen us around the house... or around the yard... on the shelf... or even out in the field. your mom knew she could always count on us, and your grandma did too. because for over 150 years we've been right by your side. advancing the health of the people, plants and pets you love. so from all of us at bayer, thank you for trusting in us. then and now. >> stephen: hey, that's it for "the late show." tune in tomorrow when my guests will be don cheadle and colin quinn.
12:37 am
now stick around for james corden. good night! captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> stephen: check out what obama said the moment it happened -- "his shoe broke ." can you go back? i want to see it from the beginning exactly the way you played it before. ( slowly ) his shoe broke. ( fast ) his shoe broke. >> stephen: one more time ♪ are you ready y'all to have some fun ♪ feel the love tonight don't you worry 'bout ♪ where it is you come from it'll be all right ♪ it's the late, late show

84 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on