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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  March 6, 2019 11:35pm-12:37am PST

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captioning sponsored by cbs >> new satellite images suggest north korea is rebuilding missile testing stations, and this is just days after kim jong-un's meeting with president trump. ( applause )
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>> rats! >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, papa, can you clear me? plus, stephen welcomes willie geist phoebe waller-bridge and comedian dwayne perkins. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: wooo! hey! beautiful! beautiful, beautiful! please, have a seat, everybody. thank you very much. welcome.
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welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. there are so many-- ( applause ). ( cheers ) there are so many investigations swirling around donald trump right now that r. kelly is like, "i'm glad i'm not that guy." ( laughter ) and the majority of americans think he is guilty of something. according to a poll that came out yesterday, 64% thought trump had committed crimes before he became president, including 33% of republicans. and, yet, his approval rating with republicans is 82%. "police! police! he just stole my wallet! stop that man! i want to vote for him!" ( laughter ) but-- but-- ( cheers and applause ) chin stroker. but unlike his cheeseburgers,
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trump is not taking these investigations lying down. ( laughter ) according to one of his biographers, in high school, trump learned one thing above all else: "life is about survival. it's always about survival," really? than how do you explain this picture? that is a cry for help. trump is fighting back. he is stonewalling the congressional investigation into first son-in-law and man trying to communicate to his wife that he's ready to leave the party, jared kushner. ( laughter ) you see, here's the deal: jared kushner's security clearance was repeatedly opposed by the intelligence agencies. one of the reasons is that he left so many foreign contacts and financial interests off his ethics disclosure paperwork that he had to update it at least forty times.
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but you know what they say: "if at first you don't succeed, remind them that you're married to the president's daughter." ( laughter ) so jared got it anyway, after "trump ordered officials to give jared kushner a security clearance." one of the few trump orders that did not end with, "and a side of fries." so, so, so-- ( cheers and applause ) thank you. so, the house oversight committee, the democrats said, "hey, how did you come to this decision?" but yesterday, the white house told democrats they won't hand over the kushner security documents. so, now the have to get them from russia. and we know this is ituse then-f staff john kelly wrote a contemporaneous internal memo about how he had been ordered to give mr. kushner the top-secret clearance. it's all going into his white house tell-all, "siiiigh."
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and jared-- ( laughter ) ( applause ) and jared's not the only one who got a security clearance out of the discount bin. so did first daughter and woman watching another brunch party get seated, even though they just got here, ivanka trump. wow. she got a top-secret security clearance! all barack obama's daughters got was a puppy. but it makes sense. because ivanka needed classified intel on china's human rights abuses to see if it is possible to pay her workers any less.>> n >> stephen: some of the ivanka's workers are here tonight, evidently. "tighten up on those seams. tighten up on those seams, girls." trump made his staff push for ivanka's clearance instead of
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him pushing for it to avoid the appearance of nepotism. that's a good idea. here's another way: don't hire your children. and this morning, trump's former lawyer, michael cohen, returned to capitol hill for private testimony to the house intelligence panel. one thing that might have come up were the checks that trump wrote to reimburse cohen for paying off stormy daniels. it's an accounting method known in the payroll industry as "a crime." technically. well, "the new york times" got their hands on a bunch of those checks, and the dates are revealing. it turns out, trump would be doing president stuff, then in in the middle of doing the president stuff, he would step over here and cut a choen. which "the times" describes as "the parallel lives trump was living." i believe he has parallel lives. we're eventually going to find out about his secret family he has stashed in the attic of trump tower.
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and if you don't like eric and don junior, wait till you meet derrick and ron jeenior. ( laughter ) ( applause ) that is really frightening. >> jon: oh! >> stephen: that is disturbing. >> jon: that is pretty wild! ( laughter ) ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> stephen: here's an example of this double life. one check, from early 2017, was signed the same day trump pulled aside james comey and suggested "letting flynn go." "listen, james, let this one go. just be patient. i swear, i've got much better crimes coming up." ( laughter ) by the way, the exact date of that check was february 14th. valentine's day. isn't that sweet? that's kind of nice, you know. "honey, i love you so much that i just cut a check so you'll
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never find out how much i get love-- (bleep). you get the idea. ( cheers and applause ) you get the idea! just-- "so you'll never find out how much i love getting spanked by somebody else." and-- and-- traumatic reenactment. ( laughter ) and then there was another actual check on november 21, 2017, the day when trump pardon aid turkey. and you can tell stormy was on his mind that day, because if you watch, he sure seemed to be reliving some of his best moments with her. >> am i allowed to touch it? >> absolutely. >> wow. i feel so good about myself doing it. ( laughter )
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>> stephen: right after that, the turkey hired michael avenatti. ( laughter ) thank you, jon. last week, cohen told congress that trump ordered him to threaten his high school to never release his grades. what could he possibly be hiding? we all assume he failed everything. did they invent an easy class for him, or something? (as teacher): "okay, donald, welcome back to your special science course, "rock or not a rock." ( laughter ) to recap our syllabus so far,im not a rock. well, yesterday, "the washington post" reported more details about how far trump went to make sure his academic record stayed hidden. at his high school-- the new york military academy. yes, military. evidently, when trump was a teenager, his bones hadn't spurred yet. he was a late spurrer. eight years ago, the headmaster at the academy was ordered to find trump's academic records and help bury them.
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that way, if a reporter tried to find out if trump ever learned to read, write, or spell, there would be no "smocking gun." ( laughter ) ( applause ) ♪ ♪ and the demand came just days after donald trump challenged president barack obama to "show his records" to prove that he hadn't been a "terrible student." this happens over and over again: everything trump accuses other people of, he's guilty of himself. oh, my god! trump was born in kenya! that's the only answer. ( applause ) it's the only-- >> jon: i don't know. i don't know that. >> stephen: apparently, trump's friends wanted the school superintendent to give them trump's records. the superintendent said no but he moved them
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elsewhere on campus and now declines to say where he hid trump's records. so, ladies and gentlemen, somewhere out there, this trove of priceless report cards awaits the bold adventurer. who knows what treasures it might contain. his s.a.t.s? s his permanent record, maybe even his 10th grade essay: "who i did on my summer vacation!" it's been-- how long has it been-- one week since his big summit with north korean dictator and clinically depressed pudding, kim jong-un. the summit was a dud. e'ed away from the deal. though it's hard to imagine either of these men walking. but despite not getting any concessions from north korea, trump is still set to scale back military exercises with south korea. we haven't seen negotiating skills like that since the trojans got a killer deal on that wooden horse. ( laughter )
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" you're telling me-- you're telling me-- ( applause ) the horse is free? but it's so big. you could-- you could fit a army in there. it's too big for the gates of the city. i guess we'll tear the gates down, i guess. i don't know. free horse. you don't want to look a-- ( laughter ) you don't want to look a free horse in the mouth. iis it a male or a female horse? it's a male horse. it's a male horse." ( laughter ) and trump is clearly-- thank you. ancient trojan character. thank you. i believe that's the opening
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chapter. and trump is clearly being had by kim, because, despite assurances at the summit from kim jong-un, new satellite images show that just days after the collapse of the summit, north korea was rebuilding a satellite rocket launchpad and engine test site, including a rail-mounted transfer building, two support cranes, and walls that are even taller than the previous structure. that's embarrassing for trump. kim actually built a wall. but today-- ( cheers and applause ) -- today-- today, trump was asked about north korea's continued nuclear activity, and he took a wait-and-see approach. >> it's too early to see, but we have to solve our problem. we have a very nasty problem there. we have to solve the problem. the relationship is good. i would be very disappointed if that were happening. >> stephen: disappointed? kind of a mild approach to the subject of nuclear war. "young man, i'm not angry.
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i am disappointed. if you blast america's major cities into ash and shadows, no screen time on sunday." now, it's still unclear exactly when kim's rebuilding started, though satellite imagery indicates the work began sometime between february 16th and march 2nd. so all we know is that the north korean builders showed up some time during a two-week window. are being operated by comcast tech support. we've got a great show for you tonight. willie geist is here. but when we return, r. kelly. stick around.
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( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: jon batiste and stay human, everybody! there you go! boom! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: i'm excited. we have william giest coming out a little later. >> jon: from "the morning show." >> stephen: he's from "the william giest show." he will be here a little later. i'll tell you, somebody else i want to give a quick shoutout to here. a friend of ours, a really wonderful man, alex trebek, has announced this afternoon that he has pancreatic cancer. and he is-- he's really a lovely guy. i got to spend some time with him on the last night of the old show. because on that old show we knew that my character had to go someplace, and i said, i think he's going to go-- he's going to fly away on santa's sleigh with maybe santa and abe lincoln.
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and i was talking with jon stewart. i said i want a fourth person in there. me, santa, abe lincoln. who would that fourth person be to spend eternity with. and jon stewart good gz, "what about alex trebek?" and i said, "that makes total sense to me. everybody loves alex trebek." so i just want to say from all of us here, the clue is "stay strong, alex." and the answer in the form of a question is, "what does everyone watching want you to do?" we love you, alex. ( cheers and applause ) of course-- good man. wonderful fella. just wonderful fella. >> jon: yeah. >> stephen: of course, everybody out there is talking about the big tv broadcast about that sexual predator inthe entertainment industry. and, unfortunately, i have to narrow that down. today, i'm talking about r. kelly-- specifically, his
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interview with gayle king, which aired on "cbs this morning," this morning, on cbs. and if you've been living under a beautiful, comforting, noise-cancelling rock, r. kelly is accused of multiple counts of physical and sexual abuse, including holding victims, some under age, against their will. and this was a chance for kelly to try to reassure the world that he is normal. but instead, he went with not that. >> i think the point you're making is-- and correct me if i'm wrong-- that you have never held anybody against their will? >> i don't need to. why would i? how stupid would it be for r. kelly, with all i've been through in my way, way past, to hold somebody, let alone four, five, six-- 50 you said, why-- how stupid would i be to do that? >> i didn't say you were holding-- >> that's stupid, guys. is this camera on me? y'all killing me with this (bleep). i gave you 30 years of my career.
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>> robert? >> stephen: wow. wow. he shouted and cried, but was completely unconvincing. for pete's sake. he forget to say he liked beer. gayle king-- ( laughter ) you've got to. ( applause ) it's humanizing. gayle king has not seen a man scream and cry that hard since an intern forgot the foam on john dickerson's latte. the man is a monster. ( laughter ) and just check out gayle's composure. absolutely stock still! she knows when you're interviewing r. kelly, you gotta go by the t. rex rules-- he can only see motion. kelly also strongly objected to king bringing up past allegations against him. >> the past is relevant with you with underage girls. >> absolutely, no, it's not >> why? because, for one, i beat my case. when you beat your case, you beat your case. >> stephen: no, mister kelly. that was your last case.
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( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome back to the show, everybody. folks, my first guest tonight is e co-hosof "g joe. please welcome to "the show" ie gei! ♪ ♪ ( applause ) >> stephen: willie, correct me if i'm wrong, william giest--
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>> please have a seat. >> stephen: thank you very much. thank you for having me on your show. have i interviewed you before? >> no, i've never been on this show. this is my -- >> stephen: but we see each other fairly frequently. >> we see each other in the wings of new york city events -- galas, award shows. >> stephen: benefits. you and i are going on stage to say, "and the winner is," or to raise money or awareness. >> i think the last time i saw you was a couple of months ago at the national board review, which you were presenting lady gaga with the best actress reward. i was hosting. and that tells you about the show business hierarchy. i was hosting and you were presenting ubut that's okay. >> stephen: i'm not sure how that hierarchy goes. >> the host. >> stephen: oh, the host, yeah, yeah, yeah. did you have your photo taken with lady gaga backstage, and did she kiss you on the cheek? >> she didn't. . ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: and you had to be there-- you had to be there all
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night? and i get to come in and leave with a cocktail. >> that's a veteran's show biz >>en: the difference between this and that, it's always like ( whispering ) how are you doing? is it running long? >> it's a whiptser. it's a especially whenner. you went on stage to present the lady gaga with the award and you kept calling her stephanie, which is her real name. and i said they're old friends. famous people really know each other. you said, "stef neerk stephanie, stephanie." and you stopped yourself in the middle of the presentation. and you said, "i don't know lady gaga, i met her once, but people who know her seem to call her stephanie, but i want you to think i know her so i'm going to continue calling her stephanie." >> stephen: that's true. and you know who liked that? stephanie. she loved it. she loved it. like this. like that. >> stephen wins again. >> stephen: i'll say something i admire about you. you do several tv shows.
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you interview people all the time. you never use cards. you do, like, long interviews, 45 minutes. no cards. welo, for my "sunday deal? today" show-- two hours ago i interviewed brie larson who has the captain marvel movie out. >> stephen: i haven't heard much about that movie. >> i try to do all the research i can do. and so i try to take the artifice out of it and make it conversational. i feel like sometimes when somebody is sitting across from a person they've got a bunch of notes front of them tfeels like an interrogation or cross-examination. rather than a conversation. >> stephen: no problem there. look at that. boom! don't need them. ( laughter ) ( applause ) here we go. here we go. okay. so... what is your-- here's the thing is that i really enjoy eye said to the audience before the show began. they said, "who do you enjoy
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interviewing." i said i'm grateful for anyone who will come to talk to this idiot. i sometimes space out. where should i go next. what's your go-to. >> when you fall out a little bit. >> stephen: and you realize the rhythm of their speech means they're about to stop talking and you should say something soon. >> i know the terror of that holdy and i have a long-running joke, where it's a blanket question of, "what a jeer." ( laughter ) actually, that's not a question at all, is it? >> stephen: that's a terrible question. >> by virtue of you being here i'm going to assume it's a great year because you probably have a book or movie or tv show. "what a year." >> stephen: i have a similar one. "how do you live with yourself?" >> are you asking me? >> stephen: no, no, i'm listening to you. i'm listening to you right now. >> what a year, what a year you. >> stephen: saw this morning, you saw gayle speak to r. kelly. >> did i? >> stephen: what did you
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think? what did you think about that? >> first of all, all hail gayle. gayle king. >> stephen: nicely done. ( cheers and applause ) how would you-- would you-- would you have handled it any differently? >> interviews like that are why i carry a small tase wer me at all times. ( laughter ) because sometimes you've got if just get up and neutralize the threat a little. >> stephen: sure, i have one right down here. >> stephen: under the desk? >> stephen: all ready. >> when he stood up and started scream ago and there's a photograph that i think will become iconic, where he's screaming like this, and gayle's just going... she's amazing. >> stephen: doesn't affect her at all. >> she's incredible. >> stephen: i want to question a decision you made recently. >> oh, boy. >> stephen: and this decision siunderstand last year you accepted an award, "fawfght year," from the national father's day council. why would you tempt the god by saying you were fawfght year? your wife let you take father of
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the year? >> let's be clear. i deserved it. >> stephen: really? that's dangerous. that's so dangerous. "yeah, father of the year over here." >> it'sap objective-- they study it, look at all the data. >> stephen: it's science. >> it's science. who am upon i to argue with science. >> do you get a mug? >> it's nice. like the nobel prize. >> stephen: are there any responsibilities? >> well, i think my wife-- i'm a good dad but not the best dad because not all that long ago-- we had two children. and she was going away with a girls' weekend to las vegas, and as she left, she had her bags at the door. and i ideal at her. i said, "wait, before you go, what do they eat?" ( laughter ) and she-- and she said to, to her great credit, "they're not exotic birds. they're your children. figure it out." i said i'm going to do a big dad's day out in new york city. we started at the petting zoo in central park. >> stephen: come on. >> great start, great start then we go -- >> stephen: how old are the children now? >> now they're 11 and nine.
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they were much younger then. we go to lucky strikes lane, 42nd and the west side highway. what we're doing at the lucky strike lane after the petting zoo is putting our hands in some bowling balls and getting into the chicken fingers and mozzarella sticks, spreading it around. >> stephen: you rub the goats-- >> yes, rub the goats, ball, and then here. and i said, "you know what, let's hit the trifecta and go to the dave and busters in times square, where tourists from all over the world bring their germs to the ball pit and things like that. we took them. we had a great time. i'm the big hero. i'm at work the next morning and whie mywife sent a tex, "what did you do with the kids yesterday?" i said, "we went out and had a good time, why?" because in the middle of the night it was a crime scene, the kids puking everywhere. and i said, "well, not much. we went to a petting zoo, a bowling alley and the dave and busters in times square. >> and left you to deal with it while i'm at work." so i think she voted nay on the
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father of the year. yeah, yeah. >> stephen: of course, everybody also knows you from-- from the coffee joe morning. >> everybody, morning joe. >> stephen: morning joe zoo crew. often joe is not there. she's somebody else. and it will be you and mika and why isn't it morning willie? why isn't that the name of the show? >> yeah. ( applause ). >> stephen: that's something you can relate to. >> yeah we focus grouped it. it didn't test well. >> stephen: at any time test well. >> "morning willie" has other implications. >> stephen: if you're lucky. >> stephen: we have to go in a minute but before we go i have to ask you one last question: what a year. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) >> it covers a lot of ground. >> stephen: right. >> yeah. >> stephen: willie, so
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wonderful to see you. >> thank you. >> stephen: "sunday today" airs sunday mornings on nbc. willie geist, everybody! "morning willie." we'll be right back with phoebe waller-bridge. to arms, i'll barely be able to lift. that's what progress feels like. so feed it with the protein, iron and b-vitamins in special k. feed your progress. feed your power. feed your change. special k. ( ♪ ) ready to juvéderm it? correct age-related volume loss in cheeks with juvéderm voluma xc, add fullness to lips with juvéderm ultra xc
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that's over $5,400 on this colorado. alright,yeah!excited? waaahoo... well... that was fun, right? it's time to get more. lower fares. better service. sweeter rewards. alaska airlines. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody, welcome back to the show. ladies and gentlemen, my next
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guest is the creator of the critically acclaimed shows "killing eve" and "fleabag." please welcome phoebe waller-bridge! ♪ ♪ ( applause ) >> thank you! >> stephen: hello. >> hi! how are you doing? >> stephen: i'm doing fine. how about you. >> very good, very, very very good. >> stephen: thank you for being here. you don't have time for anything. because you're doing too much. as i said, you created two amazing shows that we know of already. but you're an actor. you're a writer. you're a tv creator. you do theater. but people may not know this-- and i did i knew the character-s that you were actually in "qt star wars" "solo: a star wars story," you are l337 right
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there. >> i know. looking my best, i think. >> stephen: you actually-- i thought it was total c.g.i. creation. but that's actually-- >> oh, yeah. >> stephen: you wore one of the blue suits with the big thoing your head. >> i was in it. that was me right there. yeah. >> stephen: wow. that is-- >> getting into the war zone. >> stephen: a little bit. what was that like? did you have a childhood connection to the "star wars" stories? was this sort of, like, a dreesm yours? >> more an adult dreesm mine. i hadn't actually seen the movies until -- >> stephen: you had never seen-- >> i know this is going to be really horrifying for you because i know you're a massive fan. >> stephen: i don't know how you could have avoided the movies. >> i was doing other things! i was busy in sand pits and stuff, you know,. >> stephen: really? were you raised by the amish? how do you avoid-- how do you incidentally not know something about "star wars." >> blame the parents. >> stephen: that's always a good idea. >> it was great, because when i
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did discover the film was going around saying, "guys, have you seen "star wars?" really good. epic story. >> stephen: you started off as a theater actress? >> yeah, yeah, that's right, yeah. i couldn't get arrest forward a few years trying to be a theater actress, and then i ended up writing "fleabag," which is the thing that kind of ended up giving me a career. >> stephen: it's going into its second season over in the u.k. as a television show, but it started on stage? >> yes, it started on stage, and it was a one-woman show. it goes on for about an hour-- a quick hour, a quick, funny hour. and then -- >> stephen: and now it'shere y remounted the original in new york at the soho playhouse, right there. and i assume that's your face right there. >> that's me. ( applause ) yup. that was a pretty good photo shoot, actually, because that was-- when you go on a photo shoot eye don't know if you have had this, and you're a tiny big hung over, and they go, "do a
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move." and you go... and they say, "i love it." that's how that poster came about. >> stephen: i have to get that photographer. now that you have created several hit shows here. you've gone hollywood. have you had any sort of surreal hollywood experiences that you never that you want? because, it's very bizarre when you go out and you see the people who you admire in the flesh. they should be on that little screen, but you see them. what's that been like for you? >> a really exciting one was at the golden globes a couple of years ago when i saw justin timberlake and jessica biel at the bar, and she was wearing a lovely dress and he privately-- drew his finger down her back at the bar and it was just the three of us at that moment. that was very good. >> stephen: that's nice! >> just a little... i was like, oh, guys! >> stephen: sure, sure. >> i guess, other than that, no, mabel, just as everyone else says, i embarrass myself in front of people i admire. >> stephen: have you fan girled at people.
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>> a version of that. i did a film "the iron lady," that meryl streep was in. thank you. i was in it. that was important. and i had a scene with merrill. and there were a lot of other people in this. and i have admired meryl for forever. and she had all these prosthetics on for the role. so she was incredibly hot. she was under the lights all day. and people say meryl is approachable but she will try to keep cool and calm because she will melt with the prosthetics in between takes. there were five of us in the scene desperate to have our moment with meryl, but we were teeld she'll melt if you talk to her so don't melt meryl. and one day she just decide, damn it, i'm going to talk to these guys. the lights went off and she went in her margaret thatcher accent,
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"how is everybody?" and we saw the, "this is the moment." there were seven of us, and it was like who is going to get in? we all subtly went around her, and she was having a conversation, and everyone was really trying to get the joke in. and i made a joke, and it made meryl laugh. and i was like, yes! i'm the winner! i'm the winner! but then-- then all the other people on the cast were like, "oh, phoebe." " and i was like she's mine now. it goes deep with us. we made eye contact. and that lunchtime, you get too overexcited. the rest of the day i was like, "oh, my god, when are we anything to hang out again, me meryl. at was really good. and we were sitting down having lurch, and it was a cooler day and she decided to hang out with us for lunch. and i saw her coming down the stairs, as did everyone else. and i was like oh, my god she's going to come to me because we're friends. we're funny ones. and she's going, "hello,
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everyone," in her margaret thatcher accent. and she came up behind me and put her hands on my shoulders. and everyone else was eating their pudding. and she was went, "oh, what are you eating?" and i said for some reason i grabbed my dessert and pulled it into my chest and said, "my apple trump bell," like that, to meryl. obviously i broke the charm we had between each other. that friendship was dead. she was genuinely terrified and went, very reassuringly, "i'm not trying to take it away from you." and all over my costume when they filmed want next scene expiches like why did i do that. and we had one more scene me and her behind the door and we didn't say much to each of each other after that. that was my meeting with meryl. >> stephen: that's a good one, that's a good one. >> thanks. >> stephen: it's a delight to meet you. thank you so much for being here. >> thank you. >> stephen: "fleabag" is at the soho playhouse through april 14. phoebe waller-bridge, everybody!
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( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! welcome back, everybody! ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is a stand-up comedian making his debut on the ed sullivan theater stage. please welcome dwayne perkins. ♪ ♪ ( applause ) >> thank you, guys. thank you, thank you! it's good to be here. so my sister just had a baby. ( applause ) six years ago. yeah. and my niece is named scielar. right. i like the name. i didn't love it at first because it's kind of a white name. it's trending white. i think we can agree on that. but you know what it is, my sister's name is tashana, so my mother went that way with it, you understand what i'm saying? so i think my sister wanted to take a little off the top is what she was trying to do. let's bring it back a smidge.
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i got a sister named tashana, talasha, a brother named toran, and my youngest brother is named victor. ( laughter ) yeah. it's like they got to victor and they were like, "okay, let's cut this out. we made our point. can we-- can we stop now? i like the name skylar, skylaris going to get older and look for a job and i'm liking the chances. they get the resume and they see skylar at the top. let's bring her in. if they get a resume that say lacreshia at the top... you know, lacreshia doesn't sound like she thinks the customer is always right. ( laughter ) and the thing is, in our country, you can have a child
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and name it whatever you want. that's crazy. i think in a room where you give the names, there should be an alarm system. like... button at the bank, so you can press the button to alert the authorities that a mistake is in progress. ( laughter ) "congratulations on your daughter. what would you thriek name her?" "we would like to name her begin singa. like ginsing with an "a" at the end. let me get something under my desk. push the button. let them know. she gets back to the room. the baby's gone. "oh, my god. what have you gone with ginsinga?" oh, you mean michelle? ( laughter ) ( applause ) she's with the family that's going to love her. that's where michelle-- that's where michelle is.
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( laughter ) ( applause ) i'm teasing. i know you cannot take people's babies away. i realize that. i'm also not making fun of your name if it's from another country, and it's okay in that country. you know, like i got a buddy name chinado. he's nijeergz. that's like john where he's from. but for people who gooff the ranch, he could save that baby's life. congratulations on your daughter. what would you like to name her. i would like to name her exoticasia. i'm sorry, what? exotic asia. we were so excited when she exited. so exoticasia. no, i'm sorry, i can't-- i'm not going to type that in. i'm sorry. go again. she's going to get upset. hold on hold on.
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who are you? that's what i want to name my daughter. you telling people what they can name everybody. as a matter of fact, big man, what's your name? what's your name? who? who, me? i'm( lauger ) my crazy mother loved lemoncielo. ( laughter ) and that's yi work here. ( applause ) hey, you guys are great. i'm dwayne perkins. thank you, thank you very much. >> stephen: dwayne's special "take note" is available to stream on starz. dwayne perkins, everybody!
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>> stephen: that's it for "the late show." tune in tomorrow when my guests will be senator cory booker, pamela adlon, and musical guest mumford & sons. now stick around for james good night! captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ♪ are you ready y'all to have some fun ♪ feel the love tonight don't you worry 'bout ♪ where it is you come from it'll be all right ♪ it's the late, late show ♪ ladies and gentlemen. ♪ all the way

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