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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  March 12, 2019 11:35pm-12:37am PDT

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captioning sponsored by cbs >> today, president trump tweeted "airplanes are becoming far too complex to fly. i see it all the time in many products, always seeking to go one unnecessary step further when often old and simpler is far better. i don't know about you, but i don't want albert einstein to be my pilot." >> here's president trump on the tarmac preparing for his trip abroad. he's declared air travel as too complicated, which is why he'll be flying in the newly designed air force one. there he is loading into the craft. safety first, as he straps his helmet on. no einsteins here. it's back to basics! have a great trip, mr. president. there he goes! gaining speed. conditions are perfect for flight. engines engaged. oh, and he's down! and apparently on fire!
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nice design. way to build a plane, stephen hawking. ( laughter ) while president trump goes back to the drawing board, let's head over to cape canaveral where the new space shuttle is about to blast off to mars. have fun on the red planet! >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." >> tonight, liar education! plus, stephen welcomes john turturro andrew rannells and musical guest robyn. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! how are you? ( cheers and applause )
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thank you, jon. gentlemen, ladies. welcome, one and all to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. there is a huge-- huge scandal rocking the news cycle today. and it has to do with higher education, right, so donald trump is not involved. ( laughter ) sort of refreshing in a horrible way. you know how conspiracy theorists say, "everything is rigged for the wealthy and famous"? well, as a wealthy famous person, let me just respond by saying, "you're absolutely right." ( laughter ) ( applause ) this morning, the f.b.i. announced that they were charging dozens of wealthy parents with using "bribery and other forms of fraud to facilitate their children's admission" to elite schools, including stanford, u.c.l.a., wake forest, yale, georgetown, university of texas, university of san diego, and u.s.c. the f.b.i. was tipped off by the
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essay question on this year's common application: "reflect on an accomplishment that sparked personal growth and/or list your parents' credit card number. what prompted your choice? what is the three-digit security code?" ( laughter ) ( applause ). >> jon: wow! >> stephen: bad story. >> jon: man! is there bad story. stealing other people's opportunities. now, at a press conference, the justice department had an interesting way to describe the parents involved. >> these parents are a catalog of wealth and privilege. >> stephen: "a catalogue of wealth and privilege." i get that once a month from anthropologie. ( laughter ) the f.b.i. also announced the name of the sting. >> "operation varsity blues." >> stephen: yes. "operation varsity blues." named, of course, for the scandal where a 22-year-old james van der beek tried to scam us into believing he was in high school. back in the creek, dawson. ( laughter ) the man behind the scam is
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self-proclaimed "master life coach" and supercuts cautionary tale, rick singer. ( laughter ) singer founded a fake charity. the parents then donated to the charity and took the deduction, which is tax fraud. in exchange, singer promised to cheat their kids into college. one of the parents charged is actress felicity huffman, who is married to actor william h. macy-- celebrity nickname: filliam h. muffman. ( laughter ) investigators also charged lori loughlin, who played aunt becky on "full house." well, look, i know, it's shocking, but this is nothing new. back in the 90s, loughlin was part of a notorious scheme where they made a pair of twins pretend to be one person. no one knew! no one knew! ( cheers and applause ) millions of dollars ripped off. in order to get their children in, loughlin and her husband
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alledgedly "agreed to pay bribes totaling $500,000 in exchange for having their two daughters designated as recruits to the u.s.c. crew team-- despite the fact that they did not participate in crew." but in their defense, i'm pretty sure they knew all the words to "row, row, row your boat." so how'd singer manage to get non-athletes slots reserved for real athletes? i'll let the justice department explain: >> in many instances, singer helped parents take staged photographs of their children engaged in particular sports. other times, singer and his associates used stock photos that they pulled off the internet, sometimes photoshopping the face of the child on to the picture of the athlete and submitting it in support of the applications for these children to elite schools. >> stephen: yes, photoshopped images. in fact, one applicant to stanford claimed that he played shooting guard in "space jam."
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( laughter ) ( applause ) yeah. >> jon: the monsters. the monsters. i remember those. >> stephen: singer also helped kids cheat by providing them with answers to the exams, or just by having a smarter student take the test for them. "okay, kids, before the test, let's take attendance, starting with the 40-year-old man with the beard. your name?" (gruffly) "tiffany parker... junior." yesterday, a new interview dropped with house speaker nancy pelosi, seen here daring the president to place his nuts on the stump. ( cheers and applause ) it's a good one. that's a-- ♪ ♪ she said in the interview: when it comes to the president, "i'm not for impeachment... i don't think we should go down that path, because it divides the country.
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and he's just not worth it." okay, that's clearly reverse psychology. (as trump) "nuh-uh, i am worth it, nancy. for the good of our nation, you must impeach me now!" ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) "not worth it." that's a little-- that's a little... whoop-whoop. she's using a little rhetorical technique we call "duck season, wabbit season." pelosi's daughter, alexandra, has said that the speaker is the only one in washington who knows what they're doing, so we can all sleep at night. well, that lead a reporter to ask, "how well do you sleep at night?" pelosi answered, "it depends on how much chocolate i have eaten during the day." "today, i gave up chocolate for lunch-- i mean for lent. it really was more for lunch, because i'm off it already. i had a doughnut for breakfast. then, once i had the doughnut, i thought i might as well have the chocolate ice cream for lunch. then my colleague came from guam and brought chocolate chip cookies. what am i supposed to do?" ( laughter ) ( applause ) just a reminder-- ( cheers and applause ) sure, sure. go ahead.
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sure, clap away. just a reminder: the question was, "how well do you sleep at night?" ( laughter ) i'm guessing not that well, since she can't make it through a workday without snorting a line of cocoa. the brown dragon. ( laughter ) was it just yesterday? yesterday, donald trump unveiled his new budget, which would cut $818 billion from medicare over ten years. so seniors-- >> audience: boo! >> stephen: i know. you might want to get ten years' worth of colonoscopies now. or just get one and tell them to leave the camera hanging up there with the cord hanging out and plug it into the xbox, and shoot those polyps.
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dee at rallies h says, "we will protect medicare. we will protect medicare. we will protect medicare. >> stephen: yes, we will protect medicare from those greedy old people. stay behind me, medicare. i'll fight them off. it shouldn't be hard. they've got bones like bred sticks. ( cheers and applause ) that's how he would punch, right? of course, this sets up an epic battle over healthcare in the 2020 elections. yesterday, trump sat down with "breitbart," and explained why the democrats' healthcare plan is popular with voters: >> they think, free healthcare. isn't that wonderful? but the truth is when you're up on the debate stage, and they say, "we're giving you free education. we're giving you free healthcare. we're giving you everything you want, and a rolls-royce in everyone's pocket," it's not an
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easy situation. >> stephen: yes, education, healthcare, rolls royce-- all luxuries. what do you want next, big government paying for diamond-encrusted catheters? that's what you poors want. trump continued: >> you talk about single payer. it sounds very seductive-- single payer. say what you want, but it's a very seductive thing. >> stephen: he's right. he's right, jon. it's very seductive. "hey, baek, you want to play doctor? i hope so. because i'm very sick." ( laughter ) but, trump explained, it's too expensive to keep poor people alive. >> not only is the country not going to be able to afford it, but it's more than the entire revenue stream taken in for the entire-- it's, like, not even close, right?" ( laughter ).
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>> stephen: now-- quote, unquote. that might sound like the insane ramblings of a syphilitic brain, but let me break it down for you. let me break it down for you. let me break it down for you, put it in lay man's terms. here's how much it would cost to have medicare for all. and here's the revenue stream for the department of entire. as you can see, medicare is more by a difference of "like not even close, right?" so trump understands why people want medical care, but warns, "what happens is ten years later, the country is gone. okay, whether it's this country or any other country." ( laughter ) yes, you have socialized medicine, and ten years later-- it's gone. you will be missed, every other industrialized country. trump also weighed in on the
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ethiopian airlines crash in which 157 people died. now, naturally, our hearts go out to all the families, whose grief can not be imagined. so far, the president has not said nothing about them. instead, he railed against the boeing 737 max 8 tweeting, "airplanes are becoming far too complex to fly. pilots are no longer needed but, rather, computer scientists from m.i.t. i see it all the time in many products. always seeking to go one unnecessary step further, when often old and simpler is far better." he should know. we've never had a president older or simpler. ( cheers and applause ) a long walk but a beautiful view. worth the look. ( cheers and applause ) (as trump) "aircraft is too complex. that's why we're developing the
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b-52 blimp bomber and the stealth biplane. or maybe just a wooden doghouse. they're so simple, i saw in the newspaper a beagle is flying them." ( laughter ) he-- he went on, "split-second decisions are-- dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot-- needed, and the complexity creates danger. all of this for great cost, yet very little gain. i don't know about you, but i don't want albert einstein to be my pilot." yes, good point, that's what americans want: dumber pilots. "this is your pilot speaking: duuuuuuh. i'm trying my best up here, folks, but i just can't get these wings to flap. everybody jump up and down on three." we've got a great show for you tonight ( cheers and applause ) john turturro is here. but when we come back, "meanwhile!" ♪ limu emu & doug
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( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! jon batiste and stay human, everybody! that band right there! ( cheers and applause ) hot! you're hot tonight! >> jon: hot! >> stephen: hot! hot! >> jon: hot! >> stephen: beautiful! jon we've got-- we've got a great show for you tonight. as i said before the commercial break, we have a great show for you tonight. we have john turturro, one of my favorite actors and musical
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guest robyn here tonight. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: yeah. >> stephen: did you see those people? did you see the people dancing in the subway after a robyn concert a couple of days ago? the concert never ends. yeah, those people, the train never came. they were just dancing to stay warm, actually. >> jon: oh, my goodness! >> stephen: you know, folks, i spend so much of my time here chopping the giant oak trees of the news. but sometimes i like to collect the sawdust, mix it with binders and resin to make a pulp slurry, and press it all into the particle board of news that is my segment: "meanwhile!" ( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: never fails. never fails. "meanwhile," baby. "meanwhile." >> jon: they love it! >> stephen: meanwhile, today is mitt romney's 72nd birthday, and he tweeted his office birthday celebration, saying "my team surprised me with a cake made
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out of my favorite snack-- twinkies." which is fitting. just like twinkies, mitt romney doesn't age, and he's even whiter on the inside. ( laughter ) ( applause ) but-- delicious. delicious. >> jon: oh, man! >> stephen: but the weird part is romney blew out the candles by picking them up and blowin them out individually. okay, that does it! he's a skrull! there's no way. everything he does is like an alien googled "how to do a normal." (as alien) "do i blow out the flaming wax cylinder with airflow, or am i to ingest it into my mouth region? either way... fun." ( laughter ) meanwhile, police in a small town in germany rushed to investigate a murder, only to find that the woman had reported
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it, she just wanted someone to remove a car blocking her garage. sounds to me like someone was gonna fess up to a murder, then had second thoughts. (german accent) "oh, did i say murder on ze phone? i meant car. oops. ich bin ein silly lady. now, if you'll excuse me, i have to go bury... an audi." ( laughter ) meanwhile, new york city mayor bill de blasio is-- for some reason that top scientists cannot fathom-- exploring a presidential run. ( laughter ) naturally, he grabbed the first opportunity to be seen publicly dancing to the music of-- ♪ ♪ that's right, r. kelly! now, see if you can spot the moment the mayor realizes he's dancing to the music of a sex monster. he's flapping... and he's flapping... and, oh, my god. what am i doing? in response to the leaked
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footage, a de blasio spokesman explained in an email, "the mayor wasn't the church's d.j., and he certainly can't be expected to recognize every r. kelly track. thanks." "please let this gaffe die immediately, because he hasn't even announced yet, and this is a nightmare! i just graduated from vassar, and i need this job. thanks so much. oh, and p.s.: yes, i know if there's, like, one r. kelly song you should recognize it's 'i believe i can fly.' you know that! i quit." meanwhile-- i can really do this. i can really do this. meanwhile, this year, barbie turns 60 years old. and i hate to be catty, but it looks to me like she's had some work done. just pump the brakes, girl. no one has that much neck. ( laughter ) well, if, like me, you're stumped as to how to celebrate, don't worry. mattel has turned a hilton hotel suite into a life-sized barbie haven featuring a pink pool
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cabana as well as a life-sized dreamcamper. perfect for people who've always wanted to pay hundreds of dollars to go on vacation in their daughter's bedroom. ( laughter ) if you want the full barbie experience, the hotel will also provide a dude with no genitals. ( laughter ) there you go. we'll be right back with john turturro. come on! i can't believe it. that we just hit the motherlode of soft-serve ice cream? i got cones, anybody wants one! oh, yeah! get ya some! no, i can't believe how easy it was to save hundreds of dollars on my car insurance with geico. ed! ed! we struck sprinkles! [cheers] believe it. geico could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance.
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( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! that is a damn, damn fine band! unbelievable. oh, my goodness. oh, my goodness. ladies and gentlemen, folks, my
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first guest tonight is the emmy award-winning actor you know from "do the right thing," "the night of," and of course, "the big lebowski." he now stars in "gloria bell." >> i'm divorced. >> so am i. >> really? ♪ ♪ how long? >> one year. >> recently. >> finally. >> yes, sometimes it's finally. ♪ ♪ >> i'm trying to... change things... life. what's your name? >> gloria. >> stephen: please welcome back to "the late show," john turturro! ♪ ♪ ( applause ) ♪ dance boogie wonderland ♪ dance boogie wonderland ♪ >> stephen: hey!
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>> thank you. ( cheers and applause ) hey! >> stephen: welcome back. >> good to see you. >> stephen: how have you been? >> i've been busy, working. >> >> stephen: that's nice. >> making a living. >> stephen: sure. >> that's what you do. you hustle from job to job. >> stephen: sure, one foot in front of the other. >> that's right. >> stephen: even if you're john turturro. >> that doesn't matter. you're only as good as the last thing you did. >> stephen: exactly! the nice thing about being john turturro, i imagine, is you're only as good as the last thing you did, but you're good at everything you do. >> well -- >> stephen: it's true. ( cheers and applause ) name one thing. >> i tried. >> stephen: i dare you to name one thing john turturro is not good at. >> i'm not going to name it. >> stephen: you have one in mind? >> yeah. >> stephen: we'll right it down. zeal a quiz later. >> there are things i like better than the other thing. >> stephen: we had your costar, juliane moore, on here a while ago. and she was talking about what a great dancer you are.
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there's dancing in this movie. >> you're a really good dancer, too. i've seen-- ( cheers and applause ) no. you're like kind of -- >> stephen: i'm better sometimes than others. but i'm not going to name-- >> erot glik i took cotillion. >> i've seen you move. you're good. >> stephen: thank you very much. well, i've seen you move, too. where did you get your dancing skills? >> in the basement,un what i mean? you know -- >> stephen: by yourself. >> etta james song in the basement. >> stephen: oh, sure. >> mean, i was always-- i was always-- everyone was always dancing in my household. >> stephen: oh, yeah. >> and my mother was a really good dancer. my brothers, and, you know, we had all kinds of music on. and so i grew up in hollis, queens, and i remember my friend, wayne, you know, he taught me to hula hoop and twist to,e, chubby checker. and i was, like, three or four years old. so i've been dancing ever since and i studied dance off and on. >> stephen: like ballet? >> modern, jazz, you know,. >> stephen: wow. do you have jazz hands?
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do you have jazz hands. >> yeah. you know, that kind of stuff. >> stephen: you can ham bow? >> i am hambo! >> stephen: >> and, like, oh, brother, chicken dance. i like miewsmed. >movement you.>> stephen: havea lot of the movies you've been in. we have a clipave few of your dances right here. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
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( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: that dance, how did that come about? what? >> stephen: can i ask you about that? all of those are good, bus butt, obviously, the jesus-- >> that's the homohammed ali dance. when muhammad ali would knock guys down he would dance back afterwards. i told joel i wanted to be an ali shuffle kind of dance, and they put it in slow motion. >> stephen: with the foot grab, too? that's the key, the foot grab. do you still have it? >> you have to go backwards. >> stephen: could you seech me? ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ >> so you're going this way. so you throw the ball. >> stephen: like this. >> it's more like you're going like... you know, like that.
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yeah. >> you gotta go like... you know whoa! you gotta get-- you gotta get, like, the himself. ( applause ). >> stephen: maestro. ( cheers and applause ) >> you gotta have a sliding-- you know, shoes on are important, and the floor. >> stephen: i feel tough. i feel very tough right now, okay. >> james brown always had those sliding shoes. that's why he could do those. >> stephen: that's only reason i'm not like james brown right now because i have rubberized shoes. >> james brown had the little and he did that... >> stephen: sure, like slide. >> he would do that. you know. that's really-- he's-- he was one of my favorites. >> stephen: james brown? >> that's right. >> stephen: did you dance like
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james brown as i child? >> i tried to dance like james brown, sure. everybody was-- the best thing about james brown was after he did the dance, when he collapsed. you know, when he was on his knees like this. >> stephen: and came out with the cape. >> he would come up again. you know what i mean? ( cheers and applause ) but he's-- you know, he had great footwork. >> stephen: i want someone to put a cape on me when i perform. >> you should have a cape. you should have a guy with a cape. >> stephen: why don't i have a guy with a cape when i collapse during the monologue. i'll provide the cape. >> he was a boxer. he was a boxer, james brown. he had all those boxing footwork, yeah spp and he had agreement footwork. >> stephen: did you fight? did you ever fight? >> yeah, i boxed. >> stephen: semipro. >> no, police athletic league. my father was an amateur fighter. >> stephen: okay. >> and i used to box with him all the time. and i went to kind of a rough school, and i had to, like, really learn to box. so -- >> stephen: on the fly. >> yeah, yeah. >> stephen: the movie "gloria
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bell," again with juliane moore. it's about a budding relationship between you two. what was john turturro's-- what was your budding romance like? what were your first dates like? >> my first dates? usually i would ask somebody out when i was dancing. i remember kissing a really beautiful girl in high school. and she was-- she was unbelievably beautiful. but she was the worst kisser, you know. i mean i didn't know how to kiss, either. >> stephen: sure. >> but it was like air kisses or something. and i remember, i was, like, i said, "if this is what kissing is, i don't know. make this is not for me." >> stephen: i'm out. >> and i was so disappointed. >> stephen: oh. >> but it's a whole-- that's a weird thing, you know, getting to know someone. it's trial and error.someho you sort of connect with. >> stephen: yeah, this is good
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advice for the young people out there. >> that's right, you have to -- >> stephen: sure, trial and error. don't just settle down. >> it just doesn't happen. it just doesn't happen. >> stephen: put some effort into it. and sometimes when people are bad kissers-- >> that's right. and sometimes you have to learn. and sometimes someone teaches the other person. >> stephen: who taught you? who taught you? >> she knows who she is. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> stephen: "gloria bell" is in theaters now. john turturro, everybody! we'll be right back with star of stage and screen, andrew rannells. ♪ ♪ ♪
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( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody! ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is a tony-nominated actor you know "the book of mormon," "hamilton," and hbo's "girls." please welcome back to "the late show," andrew rannells! >> stephen: nice to see you again. >> i've missed you. >> stephen: i've missed you, too you're a creature of pure energy who is as delightful as a
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shiny dime. >> that's so nice. >> stephen: you also brings it. >> no pressure. i'm going to take a nap right now. >> stephen: you must be tired. i understand you have been traveling. >> i made the gay pilgrimage to see pattyula pone in london. >> stephen: you get special indulgences for that? >> i forced a friendship with her over the years-- you have worked with patty lapone. >> stephen: i have. she is absolutelyue feel vaguely singed when you're next to her on stage because she's so powerful. >> yes. i have never worked with her -- >> stephen: really, i have. >> i know! i be! i>> stephen: we have a photo o friend sean dooley and his boyfriend alberto, patty, and my mom sally field. >> stephen: wait a second. >> it's not my mom. it's just sally field. >> stephen: what is she doing? >> she's hanging out. she's doing "all my sons" in london and just happened to be
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there that same night. we had met during the tony awards a couple of years ago because we were both nominated so we were at the same luncheons and things. >> stephen: are you and sally close now? >> yes...? in my mind we're close. we're pretty -- >> stephen: you're show biz close. >> we're pretty tight. i got that phone number. >> stephen: you got the digits from sally? >> yes! stephen, what do you -- >> stephen: relationship is getting serious now. you've got-- this is exciting. unexpected. >> i don't know if you recall, but the the last time i was here i told you i was going to write a book. and i wrote it! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: that's actually the ad campaign for the book, isn't it: "i said i would do it, and i did it!" >> i did it. >> stephen: it's called "too much is not enough." a memoir of fumbling toward adulthood. you're still a young man. why a memoir? >> well, you know, what, this
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is-- these are essays specifically from my childhood. and i moved to new york in 1997 and i was cast in my first broadway show, which was "hairspray" in 2005. so i just deal with that period of time. which is, you know -- >> stephen: prefamous. >> prefamous, sure. but that was my goal was to be on broadway, right? that was my number one goal. i stopped the book at that point, because when i was cast in "hairspray" and was on broadway, that's all i ever dreamed of. >> stephen: why did you write a book about that? >> i feel those are often the years that are skipped over. your career-- a lot of people think i was hatched out of an egg during "the book of mormon." i was like, i was kicking around for a hfl a long time. and that all gets skipped over. >> stephen: tell me about the suffering because you have to suffer as an artist, right? >> so much suffering. that's a lot of suffering. >> stephen: uh-huh. >> and your early --
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>> stephen: did you do the classic stuff? did you wait tables? >> no, i was terrible at day jobs. i would work at, like, one place for a night. ( laughter ). >> stephen: that's not a good sign. >> no. i worked at a restaurant-- i lived with my best friend up by columbia, and there's a restaurantled "nacho mamas," and i worked there for one day. i went, and i trained, and they were like, "oh, he's going to be fine." like, i could be a host, that's fine. and then i just never went back. ( laughter ). >> stephen: all right. you talk about your-- you have brothers and sisters? >> yeah. no. yes. i have three sisters and a brother. >> stephen: are they okay with you telling, like, intimate family stories? >> well? are they okay? no, they all interested. they all read it. i think they're okay. you know, i tried to make a very conscious effort writing this that i wasn't going to tell anyone else's story. i'm not trying to be the ranles
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family spokesperson. >> stephen: who is the rannels family spokesperson? >> my mom. charlotte. so i tried to keep it as personal as possible, rather than, like, speaking on behalf of my family. because then it gets trick gle sure. >> you know what i mean? >> stephen: they've read it, and there's nothing in here they don't mind being told. >> well, i talk about having a lot of sex and stuff so i don't think they want to hear about that. now they know! >> stephen: but it's in here. your mom-- did you give her a warning? >> in the acknowledgments i-- i shared all the family stuff with my sister natalie first. is this her? >> this is natalie. this is halloween in probably 1988, '87. i am the pope and she was an angel because my grandma thought that would be a funny costume if i dressed up as john paul ii. catholic school. >> stephen: the acknowledgments are in the back
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of the book. >> correct. >> stephen: and that's where you warn your mother there's a lot of sex talk here? that seems a little bit like closing the door after the cows have gotten out of the barn. >> why didn't i send it to you sooner? damn it! i said if she had any follow-up questions she should ask natalie. >> stephen: you're in a show called "black monday," as blair, during the 1987 stock market crash. how are you enjoying the 80s fashion? >> i co. i don't know if you have felt this way when you're acting and get used to yourself in a certain costume. i was wearing a lot of high-waisted pleated pants. and i was like,un" what? i i look good." >> stephen: i promise you. there's no way you did. i was that age in the 80s, and i wore high-waiftd pleated pants. >> do you still have one? >> stephen: sure? >> where? >> stephen: in my closet. would you like a pair?
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>> i have an idea. i'd like to come over to your house and help you clean out your closet. >> stephen: that would be fun. >> in the clos wet andy and stephen. >> stephen: "too much is not enough" is available now. andrew rannells, everybody! we'll be right back with a performance by robyn. i'm captain obvious and rewards me basically everywhere i stay. so why am i stomping grapes with aerobics enthusiasts near this b&b?
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or doing goat yoga at this mountain resort? or treating a destination wedding to the sweet sound of pug bongos? because lets me do me. where my dogs at? oh, here they are. you do you and get rewarded. take it away henry. sfx: on can yup. don't do that. sfx: markesqaking on can (loud instrumental) bublé? chorus: it's bubly! sparkling water. crack a smile. ♪ ♪ it's taking over ♪ there's no escape ♪ you better get moving
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♪ ready or not ♪ it's about to go down here it comes now ♪ ♪ get ready ♪ oh oh oh oh ♪ oh oh oh oh ♪ get ready ♪ moving ♪ ready or not ♪ get ready ♪ oh oh oh oh oh ♪ hey
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>> stephen: here performing "ever again" from her album "honey," ladies and gentlemen, robyn! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ come on, let's have it out go 'head and try a ♪ little crazy on me you don't have to worry g awout the pulling ♪ we never used to get it right so baby, you're right ♪ for getting startled but that's not how it's gonna be ♪ that's out the door that's out the door
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♪ never gonna be brokenhearted ever again ♪ that's out the door i'm only gonna sing about ♪ love ever again never gonna let it happen ♪ then it won't be for all or nothing ♪ oh, i swear i'm never gonna be brokenhearted ♪ ever again come on, let's have it out ♪ i just want you to be able to be yourself ♪ there's nothing to worry about how 'bout we stop arguing ♪ and do something else so many things we haven't tried ♪ baby, you know we're just getting started ♪ daddy issues and silly games baby, that got so lame
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♪ that got so lame never gonna be ♪ brokenhearted ever again that's out the door ♪ i'm only gonna sing about love ever again ♪ never ever gonna be brokenhearted, baby ♪ never gonna let it happen then it won't be ♪ for all or nothing oh, i swear i'm never ♪ gonna be brokenhearted ever again ♪ come on, let's have it out never gonna be brokenhearted ♪ come on, let's have it out never gonna be brokenhearted you know you can ♪ trust me, right come on, let's have it out ♪ only gonna sing about love ever again ♪ come on, let's have it out come on, let's have it out ♪ you can trust me, babe
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♪ no, baby, never ♪ you can trust me, babe it ain't ever gonna ♪ be that way again never gonna let it happen ♪ no, baby, never then it won't be ♪ for all or nothing oh, i swear i'm never ♪ gonna be brokenhearted ever again ♪ never gonna be brokenhearted ever again ♪ never, ever, ever i'm only gonna sing about ♪ love ever again trust me, trust me ♪ never gonna let it happen then it won't be ♪ for all or nothing, i swear oh, i swear i'm never ♪ gonna be brokenhearted ever again ♪ ever again ♪ never gonnaet it happ stephen: robyn, everybody!
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we'll be right back.
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(music throughout)
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>> stephen: that's it for "the late show." tune in tomorrow when my guests will be patricia arquette, ian mcshane, and musical guest, strand of oaks, featuring jason
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isbell and amanda shires. now stick around for james corden. good night! what's up? want to know what happened today? want to know what i think about it? sit down. yeah, you stay down. ( laughter ) ( laughter ) captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh ♪ are you ready y'all to have some fun ♪ feel the love tonight don't you worry 'bout ♪ where it is you come from it'll be all right ♪ it's the late, late show >> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, all the way from studio 56 in los angeles,


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