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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  December 14, 2015 11:34pm-12:37am PST

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>> rachael: ginger zee has a bun >> finally, a great story during this season of giving, these gift hundreds of -- this gave hundreds of new kids away to ride. >> these bikes will go to 800 unfortunate children and they donated 98 thousand dollars to help southern nevada. >> the nonprofit says the donation will help them give toys and gifts to 3000 families over the holiday season. >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- tina fey,
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musical guest kenny rogers, and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 387, bosnia! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: fantastic. hey! hot crowd. hot crowd. getting ready for a good show tonight, right? we got a big one tonight. [ cheers and applause ] i'm so glad you're here, you guys. welcome to "the tonight show." this it it. this is you. you made it. you're the show.
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this is the whole thing. thank you for being here, everybody. welcome to the show. here's what people are talking about. tomorrow is the fifth republican presidential debate. and if you have been keeping score so far, the winner of most of the republican debates has been hillary clinton. [ laughter and applause ] now, tomorrow's debate is in las vegas. and of course, all the candidates will be there early. we actually found out how they'll be spending the day in vegas before the debate begins. for instance, jeb bush will ask david copperfield to make him disappear, which is nice. [ laughter and applause ] that's nice if he can do it. >> steve: if he can do it. he'll try. >> jimmy: next, ben carson will go to a magic show, but get thrown out when he ends up hypnotizing the magician. [ laughter and applause ] it's never happened before. and finally, chris christie will go to the 24 hour buffet and say, "i live here now." [ cheers and applause ] he's going to do that. he's moving there. i live there. >> steve: he's just moving to the buffet? he lives there now. >> jimmy: that's his address,
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>> steve: that seems crazy. >> jimmy: over on the democratic side, hillary clinton has been responding to donald trump's comments about banning muslims with a message of love. she said that she wants to weed out hate and plant love and kindness instead. then bill went in for a kiss and hillary was like, "not now. [ laughter ] press release. i'm talking to the people." this is pretty big. during the paris climate talks over the weekend, leaders from 195 countries reached an agreement that calls for countries to try and keep the temperature of the planet from rising more than two degrees. or in other words, they have the same attitude about the earth's temperature that your dad has about the thermostat. [ laughter ] hey, who turned this up? [ cheers and applause ] 61 degrees. >> steve: that's it. >> jimmy: wear a sweater. [ laughter ] >> steve: i got a space heater by me. >> jimmy: i can see my breath. i don't care. i saw that last week, president obama said that his favorite
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martian." [ cheers ] that's right. after seeing the film about a a man stranded alone on a a distant planet, obama said, "put me in the sequel." [ cheers and applause ] "but don't bring me home. don't bring me home. i don't want to come home." [ laughter ] "don't bring me home. put me in the sequel." [ laughter ] "don't bring me home. put me in the sequel. don't bring me home. put me in the sequel. don't bring me home put me in the sequel don't bring me home >> steve: "saw 2." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: guys, the big movie right now -- the big movie everybody is talking about, of course, is the "star wars" movie that's coming out. [ cheers and applause ] and "sisters." >> steve: yes. [ cheers and applause ] yes, "sisters."
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[ cheers and applause ] tina. how great is that? the best. >> steve: we love her. >> jimmy: but a lot of people are talking about the "star wars" movie as well, yeah. and even the astronauts on the international space station, they're going to get to see it from space. yeah, nasa said it's the best way to remind the astronauts that what they're doing in space really isn't that cool. [ laughter and applause ] you guys shoot lasers? >> steve: no. >> jimmy: you have laser sword fights? >> steve: no. >> jimmy: just kind of watch the planets grow, really. this is kind of cool. i heard there's going to be a a full moon on christmas this year for the first time since 1977. as opposed to that other full moon on christmas when your dad bends over to water the tree. [ laughter ] and he goes, "i'm kind of feeling drafty. maybe we should turn the thermostat up. who touched this thing? 63 degrees is too hot. take your sweater off if you're hot!" >> steve: take it off!" >> jimmy: did you guys see this?
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getting on the elf on the shelf trend by dressing himself up as the elf and hiding around his house. take a look at this. [ laughter ] i think the kids actually might get to see santa this year because they are never sleeping again. it's like, "oh, god, what are you doing on top of the fridge? get out of here." >> steve: dad. >> jimmy: people aren't really sure what to make of this, but a department store in the u.k. called robert dyas released an ad for the holidays this week. anyone seen this? this is a real commercial in the u.k. it's got a lot of people confused. check it out. >> hi, my name's marcus. i work at robert dyas and i'm gay. i like going out with my friends and playing volleyball. i also like showing our gay and straight customers a funky range of our christmas gifts. >> hi, my name is james. i'm straight, and i work at robert dyas. i like sailing, baking and showing off all our christmas kitchen gadgets to our gay and
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>> i'm straight, and i love shopping at robert dyas. >> i'm gay, and i love shopping at robert dyas. >> i'm bisexual, and i always find something i love at robert dyas. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: so no matter whether you're gay or straight, you probably want to shop somewhere else. because they'll just get a a video camera asking you -- [ laughter ] >> steve: say hello to a good buy. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. get this, everybody. i saw that u.p.s. is struggling to keep up with the high demand during the holidays this year. it's bad news for people who mail their christmas presents. great news for people who didn't but still want to lie about it. oh, u.p.s. is having trouble. i guess my gift didn't get here in time. it was a big box, too. what did you want again? oh, yeah, that's what it was. [ laughter ] sorry. meanwhile, a mailman in massachusetts had to -- he's had to start carrying a big stick around to protect himself on his route because he keeps getting attacked by wild
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this is real. check this out. this is real. [ turkeys gobbling ] >> everyday. >> jimmy: republicans were like "that's what happens when president obama pardons criminals." [ cheers and applause ] we have a great show. give it up for the roots. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right, everybody. hey. it is monday. we are so happy to be back. we have a big week of shows coming up this week. hot week. hot week on "the tonight show." tomorrow night, mark wahlberg will be here. >> steve: whoa. [ cheers and applause ]
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going head to head in a random object football toss. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: so i guess it's the act of throwing a football. i'm not holding a football. it's random objects. >> steve: nuts. >> jimmy: yeah. it could be nuts as well. >> steve: we don't know. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: then we have a fun thing that "star wars" fans will definitely want to see. we have been working this bit for a while now. it's very ambitious of us to do something this big, but i think we pulled it off, right? it is one of the biggest things i think we've done on "the tonight show" ever. yeah, so much work went into this. john mcdonald, chris tartaro, dan opsal, who directed and -- i can't even tell you, i don't want to spoil it. but just at least, if you don't stay up, tape the show tomorrow. >> steve: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> i love you, jimmy! >> jimmy: i love you, too. yeah, hey. later this week, though we've got my pal. will ferrell will be here. he's coming on. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: oh, come on. >> jimmy: bruce springsteen will be on the show. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ]
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and channing tatum will be joining us as well. [ cheers and applause ] plus, we've got performances from sheryl crow. oh, we love sheryl crow. twenty-one pilots, and chris stapleton. it's a hot week. big, big week. but as i said,d,e have a great show tonight. she is one of the funniest and hardest working people i've ever known. she and amy poehler are co-hosting "saturday night live" this weekend. and their big new movie, "sisters" opens on friday. tina fey is on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] tina and i are going to try out a new game called "first impressions." it's going to be fun. plus, he's a fantastic actor. he's playing james dean in the new movie "life." he looks like james dean. dane dehaan is here, you guys. he's a good actor. [ cheers and applause ] and we got great, great music. oh, my gosh.
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music legend kenny rogers is in the house tonight. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: fantastic. >> steve: what a show. >> jimmy: guys, we have exactly five shows left before we go on christmas break, which means it's time for that beloved "tonight show" tradition. it's time for 12 days of christmas sweaters. 12 days of christmas sweaters five days left [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's right. every show between now and christmas, we're giving one lucky audience member an eye-catching christmas sweater from the countdown to christmas cabinet. since there are five shows left, let's open door number five. [ drum roll ] whoa. [ cheers and applause ] wow. it's got a lot of variety. a lot of variety, here.
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i'm feeling shoulder pads. i'm feeling shoulder pads in this one. this is good. it's a winner. let's see who's going home with tonight's sweater. everyone, look at your seat number, okay. if i call your number, i need you to jump up and let me know where you are. it has to be your number. [ laughter ] we've changed the rules since last week. it has to be your number, and quest, can i get a drum roll, please? [ drum roll ] who wants me to pick their number? who wants it? this is good. [ cheers and applause ] 144! hey, come on! [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on over. hey. oh! i'm out of breath. thank you for being here. oh, my gosh. all the way up at the top up here. oh, my gosh, here you go.
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>> oh my god, okay. >> jimmy: well, that's not for you, but that's for you for now. >> oh, my god. my name's christian. >> jimmy: christian, christian. thank you for being here, christian. where are you from? >> princeton, new jersey. fantastic. get cold. i think, this year. >> yes, it is. >> jimmy: so here's a great sweater. you don't have anything like this, do you, christian? >> not like that. >> jimmy: not exactly, no, no. did i mention the bonus presents on the back. [ cheers and applause ] this is good stuff. you want to try it on? >> yes, i would love to. >> jimmy: yeah, this is fantastic. this'll be good. you do anything special for the holidays? >> wearing this sweater. >> jimmy: yeah. this is going to be good. oh, yeah, this is good. oh, gosh. christian. [ cheers and applause ] christian, you've outdone yourself. it's fantastic. look at this. you can pull it off, man. >> thank you very much. >> jimmy: my pleasure. nice to see you. thank you for coming to the show. i appreciate it. give it up for christian. give it up for christian. he's a good man. a lucky, lucky man. [ cheers and applause ] guys, thank you so much. stick around. we'll be right back with tina fey.
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covering is caring. because covering heals faster. to seal out water, dirt and germs, cover with a water block clear bandage
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so sorry we have no more room at the grown-up table. get on down. there's two chairs right there. i know right? a piece of advice step up your style, it's the holidays. they look amazing. they do look much nicer than us. look how much fun they're having! what are you talking about? me? they can't hear you. janice! dave! david! tony! guys. what? there's this huge holiday sale going on at old navy. the entire store is up to 60% off.
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lets go now.
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>> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] wewere joined right now by one of the best comedy writers and performers around. she's a best-selling author, a a multiple emmy and golden globe award winner. she got a big weekend coming up. this friday, she and amy poehler have a hilarious new movie coming out called "sisters." [ cheers and applause ] then on saturday, they're co-hosting "saturday night live" with musical guest bruce springsteen. please welcome back to the show our friend tina fey. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tina fey, come on. >> hi. >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. hi pal, good to see ya. >> how are you, buddy. >> jimmy: good to see you. >> nice to see you. >> jimmy: it's fun to see you in this building.
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forever from being in this building, working together. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: very festive time. >> this a fun time of year, it's a stressful time of year because it gets very crowded down here. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but it's also fun. >> jimmy: it's actually a fun time, yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and i saw you over at the radio city music hall across the street to see adele which the special aired tonight on nbc. >> yeah. >> jimmy: was that fun for you? >> that was super fun. they caught me, because i usually never get out for things that are just fun. it has to be like a work thing. and so they tricked me. i think lorne tricked me and he was like, we need you to be in the adele christmas special. i was like, okay, sure. get your hair and nails. i was like, what am i doing? we'll find something. and so i get down there, like i got my hair did. and it's just like, you know what are we going to do? and they were like, ah, nothing. there's nothing for you to do, but you can watch it. and i was like, great. so, that's like,, you have to lie to me to get me out of my house. >> jimmy: i never, i never see you. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i don't anything else either, but i went as well. >> right. >> jimmy: i introduced her. >> you introduced her. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yes. >> jimmy: but i didn't know i
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lorne just said, hey come on over we'll find something for you to do. >> come on over we'll find something. >> jimmy: dressed in a tuxedo and everything. >> right, yeah. >> jimmy: i went for it. i went for it. >> you went for it. >> jimmy: yeah, you looked bea >> and um, i we so they w need to do anything so we can just seat you now. i go out to be seated, seated directly in fron donald trump. >> jimmy: hey. [ light laughter ] >> and i was the biggest hypocrite of all time. because everyday, like 51% of america, i watch him on the news and go come on, man. this guy. [ light laughter ] this is too much now. leave the mexican people alone -- and then i see him. >> jimmy: yeah. right? i'm face-to-face with him, and i'm like, "hi, how are you." [ laughter ] 'cause you know why? because we have the same baby nurse. >> jimmy: what? >> the thing where like when you first have a baby and the lady comes and helps you take care of it, we had the same baby nurse. so all i was thinking was like, "i can't get in a feud with donald trump because the baby nurse would be mad at me." so like -- [ light laughter ] i had to be like, hi -- and meanwhile -- >> jimmy: why does your voice change like that? when you meet down here -- >> when i'm the hypocrite. so nice to see you. [ laughter ]
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but she has red hair now, and he didn't recognize her. she was like this. dude no, no. [ laughter ] and she didn't talk to him. >> jimmy: he doesn't know it's me. >> no dude, he doesn't recognize me. >> jimmy: so this saturday, you and amy are hosting "saturday night live." >> yes. >> jimmy: how exciting is that? [ cheers and applause ] the christmas show. >> yes, the funnest. >> jimmy: the christmas show is my favorite show of the season. >> me too. >> jimmy: always was. i just love it so much. and bruce springsteen is there. >> come on. >> jimmy: i mean, how exciting. this is goinna be great. do you remember when bruce springsteen was on, it was post-9/11. >> yes, i remember that. we, yes. bruce springsteen was on after 9/11. >> jimmy: beautiful. >> so beuatiful. and i remember going, one of the crazy things about working there is you go to sound check and hear these artists play. and it's like seven people there, or whatever. and i was sitting, like you know, the panel is where your computer is. and we're sitting there. you were there, my brother happened to be there visiting with me. darryl was there with his little daughter, and he's playing, bruce is playing "you're missing." i was sitting that far away from him, just, just weeping, like booger weeping.
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and he just looked up. >> jimmy: booger weeping. >> yeah, this happens. it did not surprise him at all that people were just like, sobbing. >> jimmy: i remember he came up to, like for rehearsal or maybe a dress rehearsal. i was dressed as a chicken or something. [ light laughter ] i was in some sketch, and he came up and was like -- >> it was chicken guy. >> jimmy: it was chicken guy, yeah, it didn't take off. [ laughter ] one of my great characters, chicken guy. i was dressed as something like a bear or a chicken, or soemthing. he came over and he goes, and it was just that song, and he goes -- it was that or, i think, he tried like three or four different songs. i think he might of, thinking of maybe doing "glory days." >> yeah. >> jimmy: and i go -- he goes, "which one do you think, which one do you think i should do?" and i go, definitely "glory days." i'm dressed as a chicken and i have to follow you. i mean, you can't do that, after a song so sad. people are going to be crying. they don't want comedy after that. but man, he did that one and just, he knocked it out of the park. >> amazing. >> jimmy: it's fun. that's going to be great, though you and amy back. >> it's so fun. maybe we'll get to ice skate at
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i don't know. >> jimmy: that's the best. >> that's my favorite part. >> jimmy: you know what, that's my favorite part. oh my gosh, the best part. you can see who is really a a good skater and who is not. >> nobody. no, no, keenan. keenan was in the "mighty ducks." >> jimmy: that's right, he was in "mighty ducks." [ cheers and applause ] "mighty ducks." he can skate. i think taran can do it as well. to watch "sisters" is like watching you hanging out at the office with amy. and maya is in it, rachel dratch is in it. >> kate mckinnon, bobby moynihan. >> jimmy: kate mckinnon. bobby moynihan is hilarious. >> chris parnell's in it. >> jimmy: chris parnell. oh my gosh, he's so good in it. i was just thinking because paula pell wrote this. >> yes. >> jimmy: and gosh, it sounds like paula when you're reading these. >> yeah, paula pell is a woman, an old good friend of ours. she was a writer at snl forever. i would say, anything that you liked on snl in the '90s, she wrote it. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and so, she wrote this movie. amy and i play sisters who are inciting a rebel alliance in space? >> jimmy: no, that's "star wars." that's "star wars," yeah. fighting the -- [ bleep ] -- rebel alliance. >> yeah.
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your childhood home and you're having one last rager. >> yeah, we're going to have one last dum-dum high school party even though everyone's 45. >> jimmy: and it's great. it starts off, as like, we're just all old and parents now. >> yeah, everyone's just telling stories about their colonoscopies and stuff. [ laughter ] and then slowly, people come a a little unhinged. >> jimmy: random. and john cena is great in the movie as well. >> john cena, world famous wrestler. comedy star of tomorrow. >> jimmy: right? he was great in "trainwreck," as well. >> the rock is like, get back. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: but i mean, there's a a couple things in there where i go that's such a tina face. amy was like, you're like, let's have a party, and amy is like, "no, no." amy is like the more straight laced. >> the more sedate sister. >> jimmy: no, yeah. her diary is totally different from your diary. >> yes. >> jimmy: like you looking at, you find a box of your old diaries. >> yes, and it -- >> jimmy: let's compare stories. >> right. and this is based on our friend paula's diary that she used to bring this old busted like, yellow mead note book. but i don't know if that was her diary from when she was 13. and her whole diary was like, i changed the grit on my rock tumbler today. [ light laughter ]
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along. like, a big drawing of her beagle. and her sister's diary was all like, we made out in the car, got a shoulder hickey. i have to hide it from my parents. [ light laughter ] they just had very different lives. >> jimmy: totally different diaries. yeah. wasn't paula was saying she was in love with sylvester stallone. >> who was in love sylvester stallone. and a lot of like, cut-out newspaper photos and probably like this super gorgeous ultimate fox, paula is gay now, by the way. [ light laughter ] so, i don't know if that -- >> jimmy: she is however, she is gay. i don't know what that means. that's interesting, yeah. [ light laughter ] i never thought about that, she is. but when i see the bobby moynahan character, his character is the guy who's always on, he's doing 100 jokes per minute. >> right. the guy who wants to be funny and everyone's like, oh, he's so exhausting. >> jimmy: all too familiar. oh, yeah. but man, oh, man. he just, he comes in. he's like, welcome to -- he has like 20 jokes already.
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