tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC December 15, 2015 11:34pm-12:37am PST
>> finally, the museum has a new guest today. >> the one millionth visitor. they shared the videos and they treated him well. >> they were on hand to greet him. you can see this seven days a week. this guy said, i may swing by. >> very cool. >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests, mark wahlberg, bill burr, musical guest, sheryl crow, and featuring the legendary roots crew.
>> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, hi. oh, hi. hey! hello, everybody. welcome. welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show." this is it. you're here. thank you for being here. [ cheers and applause ] i'm your host, jimmy fallon, and let me be the first to say what month is it? is it june? what does it feel like outside? they're saying that this could be one of the warmest christmases in 30 years, with temperatures expected to stay
the holidays. yeah. of course, without the snow and cold weather, a lot of people on the east coast are now being forced to change some of their usual holiday traditions. like, for example, last christmas, people left out milk and cookies for santa. this christmas, people leave out a cool rag and a stick of mitchum deodorant. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: mitchum's the -- >> steve: mitchum. >> jimmy: that's the good stuff. >> steve: that's what santa wears. >> jimmy: you don't want to mess around. >> steve: yeah, he does not like -- >> jimmy: you get mitchum, yeah. last christmas, santa made a a list of who's naughty or nice. this christmas, santa made a a list of who has central air and who doesn't. [ laughter and applause ] it works. it works. finally, last christmas, you went to an ugly sweater party. this christmas, you're going to an ugly, sweaty party. [ laughter ] you see what i'm saying? you see the difference? [ applause ] either way, it should be a fun holiday season. let's get to some news here. here's what people are talking about. of course, it's the election. i saw that a new poll found that hillary clinton is now increasing her lead over bernie sanders. experts say bernie would need something major to regain people's attention.
right, leak the sex tape. [ laughter and applause ] do it. just the first five minutes." [ laughter ] >> steve: feel the bern. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: did you guys see this? ahead of tonight's republican debate over on cnn, donald trump's doctor released his medical records. and get this. he said that trump has never used alcohol or tobacco in his life. which explains how trump got so good at ruining a party. [ laughter and applause ] "no, thank you. no." seems like everybody's going after trump. in fact, a saudi prince criticized trump on twitter, and trump responded by saying that the prince is trying to control u.s. politics "with daddy's money." [ laughter ] unlike trump, who started out scraping by like this. >> my father gave me a small loan of a million dollars.
>> jimmy: "kind of lent me some money. no big deal. he flipped me a million dollars. whatever. he said, 'don't worry about paying me back. i don't care.'" meanwhile, newt gingrich spoke about donald trump's lead in the polls and called trump the candidate who can kick down the doors of the establishment. yeah. and he called chris christie the candidate who can burst through the wall like the kool-aid man. [ laughter and applause ] oh, yeah! oh, yeah! i saw that -- i saw that "sports illustrated" named serena williams its 2015 sportsperson of the year. that's pretty nice. [ cheers and applause ] she's amazing. serena williams. when i heard that, i was like, "what's a sportsperson? [ light laughter ] can't they just say athlete of the year?" sportsperson sounds like a nerd trying to describe a football team. "i see the squad of the sportspersons has entered the cafeteria.
this is cool. the first trailer for "star trek: beyond" -- "star trek: beyond", was released day. and some fans are actually criticizing it for being too action-packed. because if you like "star trek", you like your action slow and weird. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: finally, this is going viral. a man who works at a gym in arizona was told that a urinal in the men's room was broken. so, he walks in just to check it out. look at what he saw when he walked in the bathroom. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: meanwhile, the guy in one of the stalls is like, "what's going on out there, you guys? are you okay, man?"
give it up for the roots. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi. welcome to the show. >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: it looks so festive here. >> steve: look how beautiful this looks. >> jimmy: you know, i want to say something i forgot to say. sometimes you want to thank people, then you forget to thank them. but, i want to thank -- well, all the tourists for coming to new york city. and all the people that come. i know it's the holiday season, but you walk in the streets. but, it's nice. it puts you in a good mood and a good spirit. but also, the nypd and the new york fire department for keeping us safe. [ cheers and applause ] and just -- times square is like two blocks away. there was like 10,000 people here the other day for the tree lighting. it was just great. they just did a great job. >> steve: it was perfect. >> jimmy: mayor de blasio, everybody, they did a great job. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for coming to our city. i appreciate it. guys, welcome to "the tonight show." we have a great week of shows ahead. will ferrell will be here.
>> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: bruce springsteen will be here. [ cheers and applause ] bruce. he's got the new river box set. channing tatum will be joining us as well. [ cheers and applause ] channing and i are going to roulette. yeah, be sure to tune in for that. plus, we're gonna have performances from twenty-one pilots and chris stapleton, who is fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] but first, tonight, we love it when he stops by. he stars opposite will ferrell in the hilarious new movie "daddy's home." mark wahlberg is here. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: looks good. did you see the trailer for it? like, mark is the -- >> steve: he's the stepdad, right? >> jimmy: no, i think will's the stepdad. he's the nicest. he's like mr. nice guy, and then the real dad comes back and wants to rekindle his relationship. mark wahlberg, mr. cool. he's on a motorcycle. it looks really funny. [ light laughter ] anyways, mark and i are going head to head in a random object football toss.
[ applause ] plus, this guy. man, i've seen this guy, we used to do stand-up together back in the -- we'll talk about it when i talk to him out here. one point, we won a contest, or i won a contest where we got a a manager as our prize. [ laughter ] >> steve: that was the prize? >> jimmy: it was me, bill burr, and patrice o'neal got the same manager. and we won a manager. yeah, so it was like, "wait, are we cool with this?" it was like, odd, but anyway, it's just great to see. he's like the biggest comedian now in the world and he's all over netflix. he's so funny. >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: i love him. he has a new animated series on netflix called "f is for family." [ light laughter ] the very funny bill burr is dropping in. [ cheers and applause ] oh, and do we have music for you tonight. this is fantastic. kirk, you're fantastic in it, as well as the rest of the roots. but this weekend is the john lennon 75th bthday concert. a lot of great names will be there.
favorites. performing the beatles classic "revolution," the electric crazy version, sheryl crow is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] sheryl crow! [ cheers and applause ] as you guys know, "star wars: the force awakens" comes out this week. and we are big fans of "star wars" here at "the tonight show." so we had this fun idea, and it involved the roots and the music for "star wars." so we called up legendary composer john williams and we asked him if we could do sothinspecial with it. normally, he says, "no." so he didn't return our call. [ light laughter ] but someone from his camp did. and they said, "yeah, sure. sounds like a good idea." so we're so honored to be able to do this. here is me, the roots, and some very familiar faces doing a a tribute to the music of "star wars."
[ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on, that was so good! >> steve: keep that up. >> jimmy: oh, man. roots, great job. >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: my thanks to the cast of "star wars: the force awakens." [ cheers and applause ] guys, we have exactly four shows left before we go on christmas break, which means it's time for that beloved "tonight show" tradition. it's time for 12 days of christmas sweaters. here we go. [ cheers and applause ] 12 days of christmas sweaters
>> jimmy: that is right. every show between now and christmas, we're giving one lucky audience member a a sizzling christmas sweater from the countdown to christmas cabinet. now, since there are four shows left, let's open door number four. [ drumroll ] [ cheers ] oh. [ cheers and applause ] green, rare. look at that. extra ball. extra ball for you. the rare green santa. very rare. green santa. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: now let's see who's going home with tonight's sweater. everyone, look at your seat number. if i call your number, i need you to jump up, let me know where you are. make sure that it is your number. quest, can i get a drumroll please? [ drumroll ] who wants me to pick their number?
[ cheers and applause ] it's a good sweater! [ cheers and applause ] it's got shoulder pads! 224, hey! [ cheers and applause ] come on over. hey. hi. hey! >> oh, my gosh. >> jimmy: that's for you. hold that. >> okay. >> jimmy: what is your name? >> lynn. >> jimmy: lynn. where are you from, lynn? >> i'm from philadelphia, pennsylvania. >> jimmy: philly? [ cheers and applause ] oh, my gosh. philly in the house. well, thank you so much. you don't have anything like this, do you? >> no, i don't. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: this is really -- do you want to try it on? do you want to try it? because it gets cold in philly every now and then. you can hold this. how are you doing, buddy? this is fantastic. >> this is great. >> jimmy: yeah, this is great. let me put this over your head. head first. there you go. >> steve: awesome. >> jimmy: so subtle. you can walk around philly.
>> jimmy: yeah. you're gonna walk -- look at this. oh, my gosh. does that not look fantastic? [ cheers and applause ] look at how cute. oh, my gosh. fantastic. thank you, buddy. thank you so much. i appreciate it. >> thank you. >> jimmy: congratulations. please, come on. it looks awesome. [ cheers and applause ] fantastic. philly. thanks again to our lucky audience member. stick around. we'll be right back with mark wahlberg.
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. quickly, i just wanted to thank our editors john mcdonald, chris tartaro, dan opsal for doing that "star wars" thing. lawrence manchester, who mixed it. because we -- it took us a long time to put that together. the roots, i want to thank you as well, but i mean -- i didn't know what -- [ applause ] i didn't really know what i was doing. they just told me what notes to -- piece by piece. i'm going like --
going to turn into something. i don't know how you're going to make this into anything, and they just made it into like, a a whole orchestration, and gosh, i'm just so proud of that. so thanks again to those guys. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest is an academy award-nominated actor who stars opposite will ferrell in the new movie "daddy's home," which is in theaters december 25th. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome mark wahlberg. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: mark wahlberg! hey, good to see you, buddy. >> how are you doing? >> jimmy: i'm doing great. i want to talk about the movie because gosh, it's so funny. it's good to see you and will ferrell back in. it's opening up christmas day. >> yeah. >> jimmy: is that nerve-racking at all? >> well, the nerve-racking thing is trying to get all the gifts put together in time. i have four angry kids standing over there waiting for their
>> jimmy: how old are your kids now? >> 12, 9, 7, and 5. >> jimmy: wow. so they know about christmas and santa? >> oh, yeah. oh yeah. they're already up, you know. they can't sleep. anxiety, crazy. >> jimmy: you have to put everything together? >> put everything together at night, like, you know, stuff that's got to be put together the night before. so i'm laying on the floor, you know, trying to put together bikes and all that. >> jimmy: don't you like respect -- yeah, i know, but yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, helping santa. you're helping santa, yeah. >> jimmy: i gotta say, i don't know why -- there's always paparazzi following you around, buddy. i apologize for that. it has nothing to do with me. but this is you on the sideline of your kid's flag football game. [ laughter ] and i don't want to promote getting pictures like this of you, but this is a -- how old is your child? >> he's nine. >> jimmy: nine, yeah. [ laughter ] >> i have a tendency to get a a little -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> --involved. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] i mean. >> that's going to be a a touchdown right there. >> jimmy: that's a touchdown right there, yeah. >> that looks like six right there.
do the other parents get as involved as you get? >> no. [ laughter ] my wife automatically goes to the other end of the field. she's like, "i don't want to know you for the next 60 minutes." but i can't help it. i get excited. and i don't want to get excited because it like, ruins my appetite. it's like watching the patriots in the super bowl. >> jimmy: yeah. you're just going, "oh, god." and it's flag football. >> yes. >> jimmy: it's just kids running around playing. >> no, it's bigger than that. >> jimmy: does your son say anything to you? does he like it or not? >> oh my god, he's just used to it now. you know? he used to say, "dad, shut up. [ laughter ] promise you're not going to say anything this game." i'm like, "nope, i'm good." i sit there, and then of course -- i just can't help it. you know, i get so crazy. >> jimmy: you get so excited. >> pete bird, you know pete bird? >> jimmy: yeah, i love him. >> he's always saying, "you're going to get into a fight." >> jimmy: no. >> at the football game? i said, "why would i get into a a fight at my son's football game?" he said, "you're going to get into a fight. somebody's going to say something." and it hasn't happened, thank god. >> jimmy: but you get that into it? >> i get pretty crazy, yeah. >> jimmy: i mean, but -- 'cause
lik head. i see you do t i go, "oh, that's nothing to ma he's cool with that. he's like, whatever." like you hosted a thing, you were hanging out with the pope when he was here. >> yeah. >> jimmy: he hung out with like, five people. >> i hosted the pop philadelphia. >> jimmy: yeah, you ju out and you're like, "yeah, cool. i don't care, yeah, that's cool i'll hang out >> he didn't know who i was. >> jimmy: oh, come on. >> it's true. >> jimmy: that's not true. >> it is. he hasn't watched television since like 1980. [ laughter ] i mean, you don't get to become the pope by sitting around watching television. >> jimmy: yeah. but was it -- was it amazing? i mean, because you were in philly -- >> it was fantastic. yeah, we hosted the festival of families. i was nervous, because normally, i don't like the hosting thing. i don't have the talent that you have. >> jimmy: thank you. >> so i was like, really worried. then i had to like, pronounce all these people's names, because all these amazing families, they come from six different countries. and it was just a lot of responsibility. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but i felt like, you know what? i was asked and i need to be more active in doing things in the community and the church and all that stuff, so i said i'm going. >> jimmy: well, maybe the pope will check out "daddy's home" when it comes out christmas
[ cheers and applause ] >> he can watch "daddy's home." >> jimmy: christmas day, the pope, what is he doing? >> he can watch "daddy's home." >> jimmy: christmas day is the perfect day for the pope to go to the movies. it's like, look, just take two hours out of your time and just go to the movies. just try to enjoy yourself. >> not even, it's only 90 minutes. >> jimmy: it's only 90 minutes. that's it. >> an hour and a half. >> jimmy: an hour and pope, you can do this. it's you and will ferrell reunited. do you want to set it up at all, what the movie's about? >> yeah. he's now married to my ex-wife and the step-father of my kids. so i decide, you know, i'm going to go back and i'm going to reclaim what's mine, i'm going to win my family back over. and of course, we just go at it, and craziness ensues. >> jimmy: well, i loved you. what was the one you did, "the other guys"? >> "the other guys," yeah. >> jimmy: gosh, that made me laugh so hard. so i'm happy to see you guys bac this is a scene here where you're both passive-aggressively trying to compete on who is better putting the kids to bed. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. here's a clip of mark wahlberg and will ferrell in "daddy's home." take a look at this. >> it's getting late. you two need to get some sack time. >> no, we want stories. >> hey, i'd love to be in here all night, but let's be
matter how arbitrary they seem, all right? good night, my little golden treasure. >> good night, my little magical cherubs. here comes the butterfly kisses. >> eskimo kisses. >> who wants good night tickles? >> me. >> good night. >> i almost forgot. my famous good night back scratches. oh, so relaxing. so relaxing. good night, sweetie bear. >> hey, who wants 20 bucks? >> i do! >> me! >> $20? >> what? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: if you go to sleep, 20 bucks. come on, who wants that? >> right to the 20 bucks. that's what i do with my own kids. >> jimmy: i think that's the best. we also got the director of the film, took a video of you, this is just off camera, not in the scene. i think you're on the basketball court. and i don't know why, but you have a football. do you know what i'm about to show? >> basketball -- yeah, throwing the football into the hoop. >> jimmy: this is unbelievable. this is another example of how you're mr. cool. watch how mr. cool -- seriously, you're going to freak out. because i would be jumping up and down.
a football toss. totally real, mark wahlberg. watch this, throwing a football into a basketball -- watch. throwing it there. yeah, no big deal. what's up? don't hit the roof. you don't. and then -- swish! and then you're like -- [ cheers and applause ] "what's up. yeah, what's up? what's up? i do that every day." >> i got to put that on my resume now. that one part where they say extra talent. >> jimmy: yeah. we got to put that on youtube or something so everybody can see it, or go to our website, because that's just amazing. have you done that before? >> have you seen what the guys on tv do now? those amazing guys? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, but that's huge, doing that. it's cool. that. that's what they do for a a living. you're like, "oh yeah, i'll try