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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  November 25, 2016 12:37am-1:38am PST

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[ cheers and applause ] ?? >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight, a special thanksgiving edition of "late night" featuring hillary and larry meyers. josh meyers. we'll play "how well do you know your meyers?" featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. ?? ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, everybody. how are you? [ cheers and applause ] happy thanksgiving to everyone here. happy thanksgiving to everyone at home. and because it's thanksgiving and because a lot of people who maybe spent the whole day trying to avoid talking about politics, we are not going to mention politics tonight. happy thanksgiving to you.
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news. [ light laughter ] president obama pardoned two turkeys for thanksgiving yesterday which is scary because one of those turkeys told the parole board that he would kill again. [ laughter ] according to a report from the calorie control council, the average american will eat upwards of 3,000 calories during thanksgiving dinner. of course, the next day it's back to the usual 2,900. [ laughter ] the 90th annual "macy's and performers included tony bennett and the muppets. "it's nice to meet you, mr. bennett," said a fan to someone that wasn't tony bennett. [ laughter ] jeweler, helzberg diamonds is running a promotion where you'll get a free xbox if you spend over $1,000. or you can spend less than $1,000 and you'll just get a free ex. [ laughter ]
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nasa engineers are reportedly working on a fuel-less engine that could theoretically take astronauts to mars in less than 70 days. in other words, less time than it took you to get home for thanksgiving. [ laughter ] apple has announced that it will be offering surprise black friday deals this year. while samsung announced surprise fire sales. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i've never been more confident that a joke is going to work. [ laughter ] than the joke i'm about to do right now. [ light laughter ] justin bieber punched a fan in the face this week in barcelona. [ light laughter ] authorities there have charged him with athault. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] sometimes -- sometimes you just
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[ light laughter ] and finally, the president of south korea is facing public outrage after it was discovered that she used government money to buy over 350 viagra tablets. her staff could face stiff penalties. [ laughter ] [ applause ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight. a continuing thanksgiving tradition here on the show, my family is here. the guests tonight are hilary meyers, my mother, larry meyers, my father, and my brother, josh meyers. we will also be playing another meyers?" so you're here on a fantastic night. also this year the thing i am most thankful for is my beautiful wife gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. and, well i'm the father for a first time. and it's fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] this time of year. it is fantastic to have family. and a lot of people have said, "will you have your baby, ashe, on the show for thanksgiving?" about the same amount of people always ask, "will you have your
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and, the reality is it is past ashe's bedtime. so he can't be here. and frisbee is scared of everyone and all things. [ light laughter ] but i did not want to deny everyone our awesome baby and our awesome dog. so here is ten seconds of my baby dressed as a turkey and my dog dressed as a pilgrim. ?? [ audience aws ] ?? >> seth: i think if you watched that, you could tell if my baby could talk, he would be saying "this is great, i love this." and my dog would be saying "i will murder you in your sleep." [ light laughter ] anyways, that brings me to this. i am 42 years old. i'm married now. i have a baby, but nothing, nothing makes me feel older than when i don't know the new slang
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and this day -- these days, it seems like teen slang terms are evolving so fast that it is impossible to keep up and there are some new terms that are actually, these are new teen slang terms that are actually inspired by thanksgiving. so we here at "late night" decided to give you a little primer on these new teen slang terms in a segment we call "seth explains teen slang: thanksgiving edition." ?? [ cheers and applause ] let's start with this one. "cornucopia." this is a popular new teen slang term, let's see what it means. the array of drugs you brought with you to survive holidays with the family. [ light laughter ] here it is in a sentence, "i have xanax, and weed but if grandpa starts talking trump, i'm gonna have to break out the vitamin k." #corncucopia. [ scattered applause ] moving on, our next thanksgiving teen slang term is "touch football." here's the definition, when you bring your girlfriend home for thanksgiving, but you're scared of your parents walking in so you just do over the shirt stuff.
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let's see it in a sentence, "mom kept kicking in the door asking if we were hungry while me and melissa were inside. luckily we were just playing some two handed touch football." [ light laughter ] moving on, our next slang term is "cranberry sauced." let's see what it is, it's when your aunt gets drunk before the turkey is even out of the oven. [ laughter ] let's see it in a sentence, "the whole family hadn't even arrived yet and aunt linda was already stripped down to her bra singing 'i will survive.'" #cranberry sauced. next up, some of you may have heard of a "turducken" which is a chicken, stuffed into a duck, stuffed into a turkey. well this new slang term is "turduncle." and it's a relative who gained so much weight since last thanksgiving, it looked like they swallowed a person who swallowed another person. [ light laughter ] for example, "uncle pete sat down to thanksgiving dinner looking like he ate uncle jeff and uncle dave. [ light laughter ] #turduncle. our next term is "mayflower." here's the definition, a car
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[ laughter ] for example, "hey, josh, tyler and brad, i could really crush some saag paneer right now, fire up the mayflower." [ scattered applause ] next up we have, "pumpkin pious." it means the person at the dinner table who insists you say a prayer. for example, "mom's weird friend crystal wouldn't let anyone start eating dinner until i said grace. somebody tell that bitch, we jewish." [ light laughter ] #pumpkin pious #mezuzah on the door [ laughter app our next teen slang term is, "leftovers." here's the definition, the kids from your hometown who never left. [ laughter ] for example, "don't go to the diner on first street when you're home for thanksgiving, everyone there is a leftover and they want to catch up." [ light laughter ] next up, we have "pardoning your turkey." what does it mean? well it's when you were planning to masturbate but then decide to -- not to at the last minute. let's see it in a sentence, "i locked myself in the bathroom but when i closed my eyes all i
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linda singing 'i will survive.' decided to go ahead and pardon my turkey." [ applause ] our last teen slang term is "macy's parade." it's when your cousins go outside and smoke weed and then float back into the house. [ laughter ] for example, "sean and patrick disappeared for, like, two hours during thanksgiving, then they hovered into the house and ate the full turkey before dinner." #macy'sparade. that was "seth explains teen slang: thanksgiving edition." we'll be right back with more "late night." ?? ?? enjoy your phone! you too. (inner monologue) all right, be cool. you got the amazing new iphone 7 on the house by switching to at&t... what??.... aand you got unlimited data because you have directv?? okay, just a few more steps...
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?? [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody, give it up to the 8g band and fred armisen on the drums. [ cheers and applause ] you know what, it's thanksgiving. let's look at that video one more time. >> seth: here's my impression of ashe getting into his turkey suit. [ light laughter ] and here's my impression of frisbee getting in her pilgrim suit. [ growling ] [ laughter ] now, if i may before we continue, there's something i have been meaning to get off my chest for a while now, and,
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air my personal opinions on the show and this one has actually gotten me in trouble in the past. but i'm sorry, i have to say this, thanksgiving is too close to christmas. >> at this point in the broadcast, seth launched into a 60 second obscenity laden tirade about thanksgiving and his opinions about its proximity to christmas. network policy prevents us from broadcasting his comments, but due to a technical issue, we were unable to edit this portion of the show. in summay, seth believes having two turkey-eating holidays within a month of each other is toy he suggested the fitness industry was in bed with the holiday industry, just trying to fatten people up to sell gym memberships in january. [ light laughter ] he paused to wonder who benefits most from this arrangement saying "i bet santa gets all the free equinox classes he wants, which probably isn't a lot. let's face it, dude is a chunker." [ laughter ] seth then turned his aggression towards thanksgiving food, claiming you can't spell stuffing without "f-u." [ light laughter ] which is accurate, however, he
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inaccurate and also irrelevant. [ light laughter ] seth then began listing things he'd rather do than go shopping on black friday. a list that included fist-fighting a gorilla, sticking his junk inside a nutribullet and drinking an entire bottle of window cleaner. [ laughter ] then sensing the audience didn't believe him, he lifted up a bottle of window cleaner, unscrewed the top and drank nearly all of the bottle. [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers ] he quickly followed this by [ light laughter ] seth then turned to the close-up camera and smiled the worst smile you ever did see. [ laughter ] seth then complained that having to see your family twice in two months was just too exhausting, claiming "they're always up in my grill." at which point seth's brother, josh, came out from backstage and said "you invited us here, buttmunch." [ light laughter ] to which seth replied "don't call me buttmunch,
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tell me what to do, fart-knocker." [ light laughter ] to which seth replied, "try and stop me, chode-smoker." [ light laughter ] to which josh replied, "make me, turd-burglar." to which seth replied, "eat my farts, dill-weed." to which josh replied, "ooh, dill-weed? that's quite the insult coming from a dill-hole." [ light laughter ] "dill-hole" was apparently a step too far and seth's feelings were so hurt that josh felt immediate guilt. [ audience aws ] realizing he had crossed the profusely. things seemed to calm down as they went in to hug, but then josh kneed seth in the dick. [ laughter and applause ] at this point, seth's mother said, "larry, we have to do something about this." to which seth's father replied, "i'm going to give my love to the winner." [ laughter ] nbc would like viewers to disregard seth's opinions about thanksgiving, as they do not reflect the network's position and do not make any sense. we now resume our broadcast. >> seth: and you can take the heat and keep your turkey out of my kitchen. woo!
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[ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] ?? ?? hon, i don't know if i deserve this - i don't really work with my hands. you change a ton of diapers! your usual? not for me - for him. hon, you have something in your hair. would you like an oatmeal scrub? hon, we listen to carol. make my eyes pop? is this supposed to happen? (screams) i'm just kidding. we should do this more often. hold hands? no, sit in crazy chairs. get together and shop small on small business saturday. small business saturday is our day to get out and shop small. a day to support our community and show some love for the people we love.
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?? [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. our guests tonight are three of my favorite people in the world. please welcome back to the show, my mother, my father and my brother, josh. [ cheers and applause ] ??
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: there they are. third year, we start letting you guys be in sketches. [ light laughter ] so i want to start by saying, we're going to obviously talk about our family a lot. everything we will say tonight is honest and truthful. and i feel like we need to say that. the past, there was a time where i took some liberties with our family history. >> yes, it's true. in seventh grade you had to write a family history, which all the kids said it was a big year-end project. other kids are interviewing their grandmothers and grandfathers and so we kept saying to you, how's it coming? you say, yeah it's coming, it's good. it's good. want to call grandma? yeah, i'll call. want to look at family albums? yeah.
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and so, and hilary was a teacher in the same school that he went to, so if he didn't do a good job, she was going to take -- hear about it. >> seth: yeah. >> and, but anyway, the night before, how's the family history coming? i'm all set. we go to bed, we wake up, we could hear the printer in the morning printing. [ light laughter ] so like really good parents, we completely forgot about it and the school year was over and hilary's cleaning out the backpack and i come home fro family history. so i start, i read the first page. at the bottom it says i can't wait to turn the page. the teacher wrote this. so we flip it, read the second page. at the bottom, it says what an interesting family. now, the highlight of the second page was that my grandmother who emigrated from lithuania with about two kopeks to her name, according to his history, she was an olympic equestrian.
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and, anyway, yeah it's seventh grade. it's four, five pages. he comes home that night and i remember saying to you, i said, well, i read your family history. you said, "dad, i got an 'a,' it was really good." [ light laughter ] and i said, yeah, but it's not our family. [ laughter ] and he said, what were they going to do, fact check it? [ laughter ] >> seth: i took nt hole in the system. >> that's right. [ light laughter ] >> seth: i should mention, by the way, you have a cocktail right there, mom. i have a cocktail here. do you guys have your cocktails there? >> yeah i'll get you one, here you go. >> seth: there's yours. >> i kind of -- >> seth: oh you're nervous. you don't want to have a drink yet? >> i'm too nervous. last year we did this in the daytime. and it was much easier for me. but now, what time is it at night? i mean i've -- >> seth: well the fact that you don't know is troubling. [ laughter ] also backstage -- [ inaudible ] >> yeah, but she has asked me what time it is three times. in the last half hour.
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saying, "it's so much easier to have a drink in the daytime." [ laughter ] >> i didn't say that. >> seth: all right, now i want to ask her this, because i think a lot of people are at home right now might be going to high school reunions. that's something that happens over thanksgiving weekend. but both of you have your fifty year reunion this year. >> 50th high school, yes. >> seth: and you both went to each other's high school reunion and josh, dad called you -- >> called me from mom's phone, so, at hers. >> yes. so we call my mother, hurry. it's a nickname. and so my phone rings, and it says hurry. i answer, i say hurry. because that's what you do. [ light laughter ] but it was my father, it was yarry. he's like, hey, i'm at this reunion, it's awful. [ light laughter ] i don't know anyone. these people are so old. i'm like, they're exactly as old as you are. [ laughter ] he's like, i don't know, man, they look old.
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to a friend's house to watch the college football game and he's like, like, can you -- do you want to talk? i was like, well, i mean, i'll talk for the rest of this drive. and he's like, i'll do anything to not -- >> i don't want to go back in! >> he's like, i can see how much i remember of "green eggs and ham," like i'll do anything right now. >> seth: there you go. >> yeah. >> seth: now, but you, you found out about a guy you had a crush on. >> yes. >> seth: he wasn't at the reunion, right? >> no i haven't seen him since high school. >> seth: this was your high school crush. >> yes. >> seth: and nothing eve all the time. >> seth: don't sound so disappointed. [ light laughter ] >> so he had in high school, he had one of those 5 o'clock shadows. nobody had that. >> seth: uh-huh. >> crazy, swarthy, big, tall, greek guy. >> seth: okay. >> like a greek god. [ light laughter ] so, anyhow, i always -- he never asked me out. i thought, never, to a prom or anything. >> seth: uh-huh. >> so i'm at the reunion, i'm
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says, "oh my gosh, mark was crazy in love with you." i said, no way. i said, "why didn't he ever ask me out?" he was too shy. said, "why wouldn't you ask him out?" i said, "in the sixties nobody did that." [ light laughter ] right? >> seth: yeah. >> i was a good girl. >> seth: yeah. >> so then the next night i go to my book group. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay. [ applause ] >> i shudder to think what he's doing. >> so the next night i go to my book group,and there's eight women there, my friends, and i relayed this story. >> seth: sure. >> and they said, "well, do you know what he looks like?" and i said "no, i just have his high school reunion picture." >> seth: sure. >> they said, "you know you can google people." >> seth: oh, right. >> i said, really? >> seth: yeah, you had no idea. >> no 'cause i don't -- >> it's in all the papers. google. >> but i didn't know that you could get a picture of somebody. >> seth: right. >> so the next thing i know, they showed me the picture. >> seth: a current picture. >> current picture. guess who he looks like? >> seth: who?
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>> i do. >> seth: so in the end it was -- >> well, he was swarthy and greek. i don't know what happened to him. [ light laughter ] >> i don't have my phone on me. i don't exactly have a beard. like, i haven't shaved since last thursday. so, i don't know. >> seth: there you go. well it all worked out, i think. 'cause, i mean, you could have ended up with him. he looks the same but then you wouldn't have poshy and i. >> that's right. it all worked out perfect. >> seth: all right, we'll be right back with more "late night" with the meyers. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> okay, over here, rambo. say fromage. yeah no expression whatsoever. okay. little sis, step on up. hey, out of my shot, special ed. >> hey be nice. they're just kids. >> they drew first blood, not me. >> guess now isn't a good time to tell you i'm pregnant. >> you're preggers? >> i'm kidding. i'm kidding. >> it's not really bad time to talk about how many rugrats we're going to have. i used to think six, but after today, i'm not so sure.
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[ cheers and applause ] that was my brother, josh. and a clip from the second season of his show, "red oaks" on amazon prime. check it out. it's a fantastic show. and so now we're back, very exciting. one of the things that's happened this year obviously, is you're grandparents for the first time with baby ashe. and has it been as exciting as you thought it would be? >> it's pretty exciting. >> yeah it's great. >> yeah. >> seth: we post photos every day, videos every day so you guys can keep in touch. >> yes. >> seth: you were very excited he started crawling. >> yes. very excited. and i didn't know you could do that. videos aic [ light laughter ] who knew? >> seth: google and video in the same week, this must be a real -- you know, they also have watches that tell you what time it is. [ light laughter ] >> i just have a bracelet. >> you should see her expression when she opens the mailbox and sees the mail. [ light laughter ] wow. >> seth: how does it happen? >> i will say on the video front, like, i'm so happy that he's crawling now. there was a video last week. and he was sort of tricked with a ball and he came forward and it's great. because it was like, i love him
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there was a really dark period of just when he first started eating solid food. >> seth: yeah. >> it was like 45-second videos, like, he really loves this salmon and asparagus. [ light laughter ] and he was just, like, be mashing the food against his face and it's like, he's so cute and he's so great. >> seth: so you were happy with the crawling video. happy that that's happening. >> absolutely. >> yeah. it was, yeah. because i was also waiting for something to happen at the end of those videos. [ light laughter ] >> that he wouldnt there's never a turn. >> seth: well look, i'm going to give him all these notes. [ light laughter ] >> please, please. >> seth: and i think this is actually a nice segue because the meyers family is obviously very honest about how they feel about things. giving notes is something that certainly you two have never been loathe to do. josh, there's -- you've been watching every episode of the show. >> yeah. >> seth: anything you feel like i've improved upon? >> well, i love you sitting at the desk to start, but when you used to come out and do the standing monologue, you would
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is everybody well? which is grammatically correct, but you sound pricky. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> you don't do that anymore. [ laughter ] >> seth: well, um. [ laughter ] and now, dad, recently you got on the phone with me, and this isn't really a note for me, you have a note for some guests. >> yeah, most of the guests, if you watch other talk shows, which you shouldn't really do. [ laughter ] but if you watch other talk there, they're having conversation, maybe it's real, maybe it's put on, but on this show every now and then, just as they get ready to go to the commercial before they do it, a guest starts to leave and it drives me crazy, like they can't wait to leave. >> seth: yeah. and he called me and said, you got to do something about that. [ light laughter ] and i said, well, we tell them not to do that. he said, you got to tell them again. [ light laughter ] so this is it. this is the message. >> velcro, something.
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is most afraid of is we, as a meyers family, have a vocabulary that was created when we were babies. >> right. >> seth: so we as adults already have baby talk as part of our life. >> yeah. >> seth: my wife is afraid we are going to teach him baby words as adults and he's going to think those are the real words. like just some quick examples. i'll say the word and you guys can in unison say what the meyers family calls them. banana. >> bini. [ light laughter ] >> seth: elephant. >> hensent. >> seth: yeah, yeah. and so alexi has voiced her concern about this, to you. >> yeah well she -- like, we all -- you all call me posh. >> seth: yeah. >> and like alexi slipped at one point and called me posh. and that was sort of the first dipping her toe in the water. >> seth: she didn't want to call you posh. >> not at all. >> seth: yeah. >> and she also has said to us, like, oh, dinwars is ready. and it's a slip, but we just use these words so often. >> seth: we juse wear people down. [ light laughter ] >> because we're not going to change.
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>> seth: as we mentioned, our nicknames, hurry, yarry, poshy, soofie. ashe, you've been saying ashe is a tricky name to make a nickname. >> yeah, because it's like your names are one syllable but you can make them longer but can't really -- i can't figure out what to put on ashe. >> seth: yeah, ashey just is not as much fun. >> ashey, no, it's not good. >> seth: but you actually, years ago came up with what you wanted to call the first grandson. >> poncho. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] and you want to explain that real quick? >> yeah, when i was a kid, there used to be a tv show called the and the "cisco kid" was sort of the hero and his sidekick who was kind of comic relief was poncho. and so, not only do i want to call him poncho, but i don't want to be called grandpa, i want to be called cisco. [ laughter ] and if you saw the pictures earlier, he's comic relief. let's be honest, you know. >> seth: yeah. well i think the days -- 'cause obviously, we'll see him this weekend and when i say to ashe,
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the cisco kid. [ light laughter ] alexi's eyes roll out of her head. >> yeah. >> seth: all right. so that's a little bit of the background of the meyers. but when we come back, we'll play our favorite game show, "how well do you know your meyers?" right after this.
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?? [ cheers and applause ] it's a great time for families to find out how much they know about each other. and we're the meyers family, so it's time to play "how well do you know your meyers?" [ cheers and applause ] ?? ?? >> seth: the game is simple. i will ask my family trivia questions about the meyers family. now, if you've watched in the past, you'll remember my beautiful assistant, cassandra. unfortunately, she's in the hospital so we are joined by her sister, classandra. [ laughter ]
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>> hi. >> seth: i was so sorry to hear cassandra was in the hospital. >> she's not in the hospital anymore. >> seth: oh, that's good to hear. >> she died. >> seth: oh. [ light laughter ] classandra, is that true? [ laughter ] all right. i'll take the cards now. no, i -- we need them. i need that. [ laughter ] give it up for classandra, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] josh, the first question is for you. where was the worst vacation we ever took as a family? >> busch gardens? >> seth: classandra, show me the answer. molasses pond. [ laughter ] that was the answer we were looking for. >> why didn't i get a chance? >> seth: what? >> why didn't i get a chance? >> seth: that's not how it works this year. >> oh, my gosh, i already would have been 1-0. [ laughter ] >> seth: all right. >> which you also claim you love that you loved that trip. >> seth: did you like molasses pond? >> i loved molasses pond. >> seth: well then, you don't deserve a point. [ light laughter ]
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>> seth: you ready for your question? >> yeah, i hope i know it. >> seth: we're going to show you a video on this tv screen. >> okay. >> seth: mom, tell uses what this is. [ indistinct chatter ] >> i don't know. it's you two somewhere. but what -- >> seth: let's try looking at it one more time. >> all right. are you on a - are you on a subway? i don't know what it -- [ laughter ] >> seth: classandra, show us what it is. it was a face swap video. know my history on videos. [ laughter ] no fair. >> seth: but subway was a good guess. [ light laughter ] >> yeah. >> there was also a tornado when we went to busch gardens. >> seth: that's true. there was a tornado. it was still better than [ bleep ] molasses pie. [ laughter ] dad, when josh and i were little, what would you call us when it was time for us to take a bath? >> dirt ball one and dirt ball
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that's right. [ cheers and applause ] classandra, give my dad his first point. and of course, points here in the meyers family are sheep dogs because we've only had sheep dogs for our entire life. and what have been the five sheep dogs' names, dad? >> the first one was albert. then there was albert. [ light laughter ] albert. >> albert. >> albert. and albert. >> seth: yeah, there you go. that's right. [ applau josh? in high school, you ran for student council president. on one of your posters, you put your head on the body of a male model. the text on that poster read "it's a good day for the women of west when josh does" what? now, before we continue with round two, i want to remind you in round two of our game, you can ask a baze. ?? in this case, baze is our head writer, alex baze.
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question, much like phone a friend on "who wants to be a billionaire," baze is here for josh. here for you. josh, the question is for you. in high school, you ran for student council president, on one of your posters you put your body on the head of a male model. the text on that poster read, "it's a good day for the women of west" when josh does what? >> i'm going to ask a baze. >> seth: all right. baze. in high school, josh ran for student council president. on one of his posters he put his head on the body of a male model. the text on that poster read "it's a good day for the women >> i don't know. [ laughter ] you know why i don't know? i didn't grow up with you. and when you talk about growing up, i don't listen. [ light laughter ] you know why? i'm busy writing a monologue every single night. and don't take this the wrong way, but the rest of the world doesn't breathlessly follow the exploits of the meyers family. [ laughter ] >> oh, that's cold. >> you're not -- i'll be right with you, miss. [ laughter ]
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also, you're too close with your family and it's weird. [ laughter ] you know what, next year we should do "how well do you know baze?" the first question is for you, seth. where am i from? >> seth: what? [ laughter ] >> we've known each other 15 years. where am i from? >> seth: the states? [ light laughter ] >> you're lucky your family is here, bro. [ light laughter ] >> seth: well, that backfired. [ light laughter ] all right. back to you, josh. high school, you ran for student council president. one of your posters you put your head on the body of a male model. the text on that poster read, "it's a good day for the women of west" when josh does what? >> forgets to wear clothes. >> seth: classandra? forgets to wear clothes is correct. [ cheers and applause ] and we actually have a photo of that poster. [ laughter ] can't believe they didn't take it down. [ light laughter ]
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>> oh, gosh. >> seth: when josh and i came home from school, what was our most requested snack? >> all your meats and cheeses? >> seth: all your meats and cheeses. classandra? that's correct. [ cheers and applause ] >> wait, wait, wait. where did you grow up, on a cruise ship? [ light laughter ] want to know was a snack was at the baze household? some hard tack and a pack of cigarettes. [ laughter ] >> seth: do you have anything else to i'm going to go write some jokes. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: definitely -- definitely the last year for "ask a baze." moving on to you, dad. [ turkey gobbling ] oh, and that sound means it's time for a video question. and tonight's video question comes from actor/comedian extraordinaire, retta. retta, fire away. >> the question is, who was hilary hitting on at the afterparty the year seth hosted
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hitting on at the afterparty, when i hosted the emmys? >> i have a two-part answer to that. [ light laughter ] >> seth: okay. >> the first part is idris elba. >> seth: okay. >> and the second part is, i'm going to miss baze. >> seth: oh, yeah. i'm going to miss baze too. >> i'm going to miss baze. >> seth: the answer is idris elba. retta, what did you have to say? >> the answer, idris elba. i see you hillary and i feel you. [ laughter ] >> seth: all right. a classandra. [ cheers and applause ] all right. we go to round two, what do we got, we have two for my dad, one for josh and one for my mom. it is the final round. classandra, how are you doing? >> sad. >> seth: why, because cassandra's gone? >> no, because baze left. i agreed with a lot of what he said. [ light laughter ] >> seth: okay. [ light laughter ] so you also think my family is
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okay. here we go. final round. [ bells jingling ] oh, and that sound means we're switching it up and it's time for how well do you know your ashes? ?? okay. in this round the questions will be about my wife's family, the ashes. my in-laws who are not here because they are currently getting dinner ready for us. so the first question about my in-laws is for you, josh. tonight after dinner we will watch our beloved pittsburgh steelers play the colts on. how many members of the ashe family will join us? >> zero. >> seth: classandra? zero is correct. [ cheers and applause ] my wife's family thinks sports are dumb and a waste of time, and yet they are cool with karaoke. [ light laughter ] mom, the next question is for you. [ party horn plays ] and that sound means it's time for another video question. this time coming directly from my father-in-law, tom.
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>> seth: what band inspired tom to move to new mexico? >> the grateful dead? >> seth: the grateful dead. tom, give us your answer. >> the eagles. [ audience groans ] >> seth: i'm sorry. >> how was i supposed to know that? >> seth: well, you got to listen to tom. i know it's hard. [ laughter ] also, interesting fact, the eagles also inspired tom to marry a witchy w. oh, man. there's going to be a heartache tonight. [ light laughter ] dad, are you ready for your question about the ashe family. >> i'm ready. i'm ready. >> seth: dad, the ashe family is making thanksgiving dinner as we speak. when the ashe family prepares a meal, what is the ingredient you are least likely to find? >> gluten. >> seth: classandra? gluten is correct. [ cheers and applause ]
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what do you think of a thanksgiving without gluten? >> it sucks. [ laughter ] >> seth: classandra? it's [ bleep ]. we'll accept it. and if you're watching, ashe family, i'd like to quote the eagles and say, "take it easy." i think that means you win, dad. this has been "how well do you know your meyers?" we'll see you next year. [ cheers and applause ]
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?? [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. we want to thank you all for joining our family tonight, as we do this show, we're so happy, and excited to do this show every year.
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crew that does this with us every year and every single day. our incredible writing staff, our incredible producers. i want to thank the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] so thankful for you guys. fred, always so thankful to have you here. and we actually, this is the first year where we taped this show on wednesday. i know you're watching on thanksgiving and you probably thought this whole time we were doing it on thanksgiving. but that's the magic of television. we knew the whole time it was wednesday. and so did the whole audience. [ laughter ] but we did want to make sure that our entire staff had a families for thanksgiving which is why we changed it and taped on wednesday, and next year when they come back and say, please, please, do it on thanksgiving, we'll shift back. [ light laughter ] but also i want to thank my family who have been so incredible every time i've had them on the show. so a round of applause for my mother, hilary. [ cheers and applause ] give it up for my father, larry, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] give it up for my brother, josh,
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and i also sincerely want to say i'm so thankful for my incredible in-laws, joanne, tom, ariel, and tolya. but mostly i'm thankful for my incredible wife, alexi, our dog, frisbee, and our son, ashe. and i -- it's been such an incredible year. i owe it all to my beautiful wife, alexi. so i want to say i'm thankful for you, my love. and hopefully you're watching but you most often, more nights than often, you don't. [ laughter ] and, yeah, so that pretty much so once again, stay tuned for carson -- wait, no we're not done. [ laughter and applause ] that's like the thing. [ applause ] that's like the thing you -- >> you should have told me. >> seth: no, we told you. [ light laughter ] >> should have told me more than once. >> seth: all right. and also, i want to thank retta for playing along and giving us one of the questions for "how well do you know your meyers?" stay tuned for "carson daly," everybody, have a happy thanksgiving. [ cheers and applause ]
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?? >> carson: hi, i'm carson daly. this is skylark, new york city and you are watching "last call" thank you. bob mould performs from


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