Skip to main content

tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  July 11, 2017 11:35pm-12:38am EDT

11:35 pm
captioning sponsored by cbs >> earlier today donald trump, jr. released the e-mails regarding his russian meeting. however we at "the late show" also got exclusive access to his spam folder. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> announcer: it's "the late show" with stephen colbert! tonight, stephen welcomes joe scarborough and mika brzezinski,
11:36 pm
andy serkis, and a musical performance from scarborough. featuring jon batiste and "stay human." now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ >> stephen: thank you, everybody! what's going on? good to see you! ( cheers and applause ) hey! thanks, everybody! please have a seat! thank you so much! ladies and gentlemen, welcome to "the late show." i'm your host stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff )
11:37 pm
it's been an exciting day. i'm still excited. >> jon: yeah. >> stephen: let's just say there is a reason they're shooting me from the waist up, right now. ( laughter ) i don't know. i don't know if i have a full trump-on, but i'm definitely sporting a donald junior. okay. ( cheers and applause ) we're good. we're good. last night, i told y'all about how don, jr. met with a russian lawyer, who claimed to have dirt on hillary clinton. seemed pretty bad. turned out, though, much worse because, then, the "new york times" reported that "trump jr. was told in an email that this was a russian effort to aid trump's campaign." wow. who could have predicted an email scandal would taint a presidential campaign? ( laughter ) that's damning! you can't have that! you can't have that!
11:38 pm
you can't -- you can't have that! >> jon: you -- can't -- have -- that! ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> stephen: but we did not know if these e-mails were even real. and how would we ever see them? for that, donald trump jr. would have to tweet them out this morning at 11:00 a.m.! ( laughter ) ( applause ) whaaat?! what are you doing? who told him to do this? does he even have a lawyer? because you rarely see a cop show where the lawyer bursts into the interrogation room and shouts, "keep talking! in fact, tweet out everything you know!" come on! ( laughter ) ( applause ) yet, reince priebus said this whole story is a nothing burger. these e-mails turned it into an all you can see buff guy.
11:39 pm
don, jr.'s emails were with british music publicist and guy who tony soprano whacked in season 3, rob goldstone. he met the trumps at the 2013 miss universe pageant in moscow. i believe his job was to remove all the locks from the dressing room doors. so let's dive in. remember, it's going to take careful parsing to prove that the trump campaign was privately colluding with russia to get damaging confidential information about hillary clinton. this is the first email. "subject: russia-- clinton-- private and confidential." ( laughter ) let's stop right there. i think we can pause. we should talk a pause, maybe even hydrate. >> jon: a worthy cause. >> stephen: we are five words in, and four of them are "russia, clinton, private, confidential." the only one that's innocent is "and." goldstone goes on to write about their mutual acquaintance, russian pop singer emin agalarov. "good morning. emin just called and asked me to contact you with something very interesting. the crown prosecutor of russia
11:40 pm
met with his father aras this morning and, in their meeting, offered to provide the trump campaign with some official documents and information that would incriminate hillary and her dealings with russia and would be very useful to your father." ( coughing ) sorry. i got a little cough because of this smoking gun. ( laughter ) ( applause ) ( piano riff ) goldstone could not be clearer that this was going to be shady stuff. jrvetle "this is obviously very high-level and sensitive information." yes, obviously. that's why he encrypted his communique with an algorithm that cyber security experts call "email." ( laughter ) okay? >> jon: getting all in there. >> stephen: and just a
11:41 pm
reminder, these emails were leaked by donald trump, jr. he is his own deep throat. he's deep-throating himself. ( laughter ) it's impressive. it's impressive. ( applause ) you don't see that every day. >> jon: whoa! whoa! >> stephen: just to make sure that there's no doubt about the radioactive criminality of this meeting, goldstone spells out that it's "part of russia and its government's support for mr. trump." this couldn't be any more damning if goldstone had sent him an evite -- "you are invited to commit 'tree-son.' 'wood' you like to betray your country?" yes. no. yes. yes. ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) it's funny. >> jon: yes. yes and no. >> stephen: it's funny, because it's tree-son. ( laughter ) so, naturally, when don, jr.
11:42 pm
learned that a hostile foreign power was trying to undermine our democracy, he immediately reported it to the f.b.i. just kidding. ( laughter ) sorry, couldn't keep a straight face. 17 minutes later, don, jr. responded, "thanks, rob, i appreciate that. if it's what you say, i love it, especially later in the summer." just to make it clear, he also attached this picture -- "i love crime in the summertime!" ( laughter ) that's a weird way to say it -- i love it, especially in the summer? you're not describing a sparkling rose with some toasted figs and soft brie, you flaming douchebag! ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) later in the summary, that would be great. maybe at the cape we can go up and collude. ( laughter ) and i can't say this enough -- don, jr. released these emails himself. how did this happen? did he lock himself in the
11:43 pm
bathroom while his lawyer banged on the door, yelling, "you better not be tweeting out your emails, young man!" "no, i'm not, i'm, i'm masturbating!" ( laughter ) painted a picture. ( laughter ) so at this point, i would like to issue a formal apology. ( soft music ) i'd like to apologize to eric trump. we always thought you were the dumb one, and we were wrong. ( cheers and applause ) you know who else couldn't believe don, jr. published these emails? the journalists who've been trying to dig them up for months. one reporter tweeted: "i... worked on this story for a year... and... he just... he tweeted it out.
11:44 pm
like... i spent hours and days and weeks and months. and his son just, hit tweet. ( laughter ) i tracked down sources. followed so many dead leads. i labored over this. and then he just, you know, tweeted out the proof. ( applause ) like, so many people out there were trying to track this down. and it just... got delivered on a tweet. what the hell?" ( laughter ) ( applause ) i applaud him. yeah. yeah. that's right, fake news. you got scooped by donnie, jr.! ha ha! ( laughter ) now, at the top of his email scoop, don, jr. issued a statement: "to everyone... " oooh, that includes me!
11:45 pm
i'm one of every. let's go. "in order to be totally transparent, i am releasing the entire email chain of my emails." truly his father's son. ( laughter ) "the first email on june 3, 2016 was from rob, who was relating a request from emin. the information they suggested they had about hillary clinton, i thought was political opposition research." see? it's just political opposition research. perfectly innocent. except for the fact that he's totally guilty. because there's this law that says, "a foreign national shall not, directly or indirectly, make a contribution or a donation of money or other thing of value." you know what oppo research is? a thing of value. that's why you took the meeting, you numbnut. i'm sorry, that was disrespectful. i should use his proper name: "inmate 41715, jr."
11:46 pm
( applause ) ( laughter ) but he continued his defiant confession: "to put this in context, this occurred before the current russian fever was in vogue." "yeah, i was into colluding with russia years ago. i have bootleg collusion. in '99, i saw sergei kislyak in a basement in madison, wisconsin doing an acoustic set with neutral milk hotel." ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> jon: yeah, yeah... ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: don, jr. has now hired an attorney that he's clearly not listening to, named alan futerfas -- which i believe is the active ingredient in ricola.
11:47 pm
now, futerfas, besides being a mob lawyer, futerfas is also a "juilliard-trained trombonist." that's going to come in real handy at the end of the trial when they need someone to play "mwah mwah waaah." ( laughter ) "mwah mwah waaah." you got it over there? you got it over there? ( piano riff ) here's another thing. don, jr. said that before they all went to it, he told jared kushner and paul manafort "nothing of the substance of the meeting." but at the very top of this email chain, that he tweeted this morning, you can see that the day before the meeting, he forwarded the whole thing to jared kushner and paul manafort. they knew! as a lawyer close to the case said, "they're in the soup, too." yup, they're all sharing a big old cup o' colludles. ( laughter )
11:48 pm
( applause ) delicious. high salt. high salt content. of course, the president leapt to his son's defense. let's go to trump's twitter page. ( howling wolf ) >> stephen: not good. but this afternoon, like a father lion, trump stepped forward -- and then stepped back and had sarah huckabee sanders read one sentence. >> my son is a high-quality person, and i applaud his transparency. >> stephen: "high-quality person. okay? top-shelf son. thinking of having him gold leafed, paid for the under-coating. absolutely tremendous." ( laughter ) so what does this complex web of international intrigue and conspiracy mean? let's break it down on the "late show" figure-it-out-a-tron. bring it out, fellas! okay, here we go.
11:49 pm
( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) welcome to the figure-it-out-a-tron. we're going to figure out the connection from the u.s. to russia over here, okay? across the top, here, we've got four different trump officials who have now admitted to meeting with russian ambassadors during the campaign. trump advisor carter page, attorney general jeff sessions, then-campaign manager paul manafort, and trump's son-in-law jared kushner. down here, we have don, jr.'s russian contact, natalia veselnitskaya. she's the russian lawyer they met with, on a request from russian popstar emin agalarov, who worked with the trumps on the miss universe pageant in moscow, and whose father, aras
11:50 pm
agalarov, is a russian oligarch who has close ties to vladimir putin. they're all connected, see? now, in the middle of this whole conspiracy is donald trump, jr. ( laughter ) you might say he's the key to the whole story-- which i'll symbolize with this keyhole here. okay. that's him. so donald trump jr. gave us the dots. all we have to do is connect them to see where this is going. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) and, yeah, he's going to jail. ( piano riff ) ( cheers and applause ) we've got a great show for you tonight! joe scarborough and mika brzezinski are both here.
11:51 pm
andy serkis is here! stick around! ( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) when you're close to the people you love, does psoriasis ever get in the way of a touching moment? if you have moderate to severe psoriasis, you can embrace the chance of completely clear skin with taltz. taltz is proven to give you a chance at completely clear skin. with taltz, up to 90% of patients had a significant improvement of their psoriasis plaques. in fact, 4 out of 10 even achieved completely clear skin. do not use if you are allergic to taltz. before starting you should be checked for tuberculosis. taltz may increase your risk of infections and lower your ability to fight them. tell your doctor if you are being treated for an infection or have symptoms. or if you have received a vaccine or plan to. inflammatory bowel disease can happen with taltz.
11:52 pm
including worsening of symptoms. serious allergic reactions can occur. now's your chance at completely clear skin. just ask your doctor about taltz. i'm lumy bargain detergent shifcouldn't keep up.ter. completely clear skin. so, i switched to tide pods. they're super concentrated, so i get a better clean. number one trusted. number one awarded. it's got to be tide
11:53 pm
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ new, peach, from lime-a-rita. make it a margarita moment.
11:54 pm
11:55 pm
( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hey! jon batiste and "stay human" right over there! give it up for the band, ladies and gentlemen! right over there! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: well, welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. you know, every morning millions of americans get news and opinion from my next guest, except for the president, who absolutely, definitely, under no circumstances watches any more.
11:56 pm
please welcome the host of "morning joe," joe scarborough and mika brzezinski! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: nice to see y'all again. >> great to be here again. >> stephen: now -- ( laughter ) what a day. >> yeah. >> stephen: what a day. usually, summertime is a slow news time. >> mm-hmm. >> stephen: what time does your show go off. what hours are you on, 6:09? >> 6:00 to 9:00 a.m. >> stephen: he didn't tweet out his e-mails, donald trump, jr., until 11:00. did that make you mad? ( laughter ) >> that actually gives us a couple of hours to prepare and we have a handy graphic you did
11:57 pm
as far as connecting the dots, we'll use that this morning. >> stephen: you license that from cbs and you're god to go. >> exactly. ( laughter ) >> stephen: you guys have been following the story like the rest of america has but from a more intimate perch for about two years now. why do you think he tweeted that stuff out this morning? >> oh, god, i have no frickin' idea. ( laughter ) what the what? >> this morning? >> stephen: why did donald trump, jr. tweet that out? >> it's part of barge strategy with them. they put it out. donald trump, jr. has been whipping up the frenzy as far as the fake news goes for some time. he had a really offensive tweet three to five days ago before this blew up of donald trump as a fighter pilot blowing up cnn out of the air. they whip people up into a frenzy, talk about fake news, and it's been part of a fake pattern for a long time, they're
11:58 pm
trying to confuse the truth with lies. they put it out there and tell people it's much ado about nothing. >> you could argue they have been trying to race against time before all the bad stuff comes out about them. >> stephen: so you rough up the umpire so that when the actual evidence comes out there's nobody credible -- >> that's what it's been about for a very long time. >> stephen: isn't that trying to make us insane? isn't that what it is? >> yes. >> stephen: trying to make us crazy that there is no objective reality? >> it's a really sad time. >> stephen: two weeks ago, you guys became the news because the leader of the free world, the commander-in-chief of the united states said -- i'll put it up here. >> oh, thank you. >> stephen: "i heard poorly rated "morning joe" speaks badly of me.
11:59 pm
don't watch anymore. then, how come low i.q. crazy mika came with "morning joe" three years ago on new year's eve to join me. she was bleeding badly from a face lift. i said no. how does that feel to be attacked by the president of the united states on twitter? ( audience booing ) >> stephen: how did that feel? me, it was no big deal. personal, it doesn't bother me one bit. i just think it's very sad for the country that this is where we are, and i think that backs up the point i made earlier that this is our president. >> stephen: where were you, were you on the air? >> i was on the set. joe was in the office. >> stephen: okay. and everybody started looking very uncomfortable, and the executive producer alex goressen said stay in your seat, i'm coming to show you something. i said, really? what's on your phone, what did
12:00 am
he do? >> stephen: willie? willie was holding his phone away from me. >> stephen: he wouldn't read it to you? >> i think he might have felt uncomfortable to show it to me at first. >> stephen: why do you think he did this? what do you think was in his head? >> i think i was mocking his fake magazine cover hanging in one of his country clubs. we were on the air joking about it. i can feel it. i know him well enough to know it's that kind of thing that gets under his skin. he can be played very easily which is very concerning. >> showing anger towards donald trump, letting him know that you're outraged, that's what he wants. when you mock him, when mika was joking about the "time" magazine cover -- >> which is hilarious. ( laughter ) >> it is, it is. that's what really makes him the angriest. he watches the show, you know, as you were goring about it
12:01 am
before, but he does watch it and it drives him absolutely crazy. but he has this rage about mika. he did this last summer during the middle of the campaign, too. sent out all of these tweets. he was especially vicious toward mika, and it really, i think mainly it's because she's a woman and -- >> stephen: you know donald trump. you guys wrote in an editorial that this guy you see now is not the guy you knew. what's different? because this seems exactly like the guy that i have always seen. he's a primo tool. ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) >> stephen: and i just don't know -- i just don't understand what you're seeing different about the guy because i know you, like, never endorsed him, but you've known him for years. you have been friends with the guy. >> joe even said during the campaign he could never vote for him, but he used to know he was a tool. >> stephen: trump used to mow
12:02 am
know? >> yes. >> stephen: because men don't generally change at 70. it reveals character. >> i want to be careful how uh say this -- >> be very careful. i've just got to say that people that have known him for a very long time have said, over the past year, that he has started to change. i'm not talking about whether he's obnoxious or whatever, but, for instance, when we were on "the apprentice" one time, he had some golf tournament out at one of his clubs. he was in on the joke. here's my face, hey, look, joe -- wink. >> wink. erkorn. most beautiful water fall in the world. by the way, 7:00. >> but that doesn't make him presidential material. >> i'm saying, though, he at least had more of a concept of what he was doing, the game he was playing. >> he's way in over his head
12:03 am
now. >> stephen: any chance he's going, hey, look, trump water, isn't that dumb? that's the lie and he really thought it was cool? ( laughter ) we have to take a break. back with more joe and mika, stick around. ( piano riff ) armin ultra soft! it's softer than ever. new charmin ultra soft is softer than ever... so it's harder to resist. okay, this is getting a little weird. enjoy the go! with charmin! to tinto a flamecker you'll need a spark. new emergen-c energy+ natural caffeine from green tea to focus your mind. 7 b vitamins plus vitamin c to fortify you. spark the energy within you every day. emergen-c energy+. emerge and see. ♪ [crunch] ♪ yeah! ♪ [slap] [slap] [punch] [crunch]
12:04 am
when you switch to progressive. winds stirring. too treacherous for a selfie. [ camera shutter clicks ] sure, i've taken discounts to new heights with safe driver and paperless billing. but the prize at the top is worth every last breath.
12:05 am
here we go. [ grunts ] got 'em. ahh. wait a minute. whole wheat waffles? [ crying ] why! wait a minute. whole wheat waffles? ♪ ♪ more kinds of crab than ever, new dishes, and all your favorites. only while crabfest lasts. red lobster. now this is seafood.
12:06 am
12:07 am
( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! welcome back to the show! we're here with our friends joe and mika from the "morning joe" zoo crew. you've changed your mind about donald trump. why haven't other republicans done the same. you're a republican congressman. what do you think is happening with your own party? >> i think it's inexplicable. this is well before donald trump was elected president that m party has betrayed their core values. i remember in december of 2015 when donald trump supported a muslim ban. i said on the air, it's very simple, it's black and white, i said, i can never vote for anybody in my party that would
12:08 am
say they were going to ban people because of the god they worshiped. ( applause ) >> stephen: now, there have been so many things -- with these revelations now. >> but the problem, is again, it was disturbing through the entire campaign. in february, when he talked about david duke and pretended he didn't know who david duke was and didn't know what the ku klux klan did, you didn't have republicans coming out saying, i could never support donald trump because he's racist. they would have a thousand other excuses why, but they always overlooked that. judge curiel, when he called the guy from indiana, he attacked him and said he could never be fair because he's hispanic. republicans never came out and say i could never vote for donald trump because he's a racist. time and time and time again they turned the other way and they're doing the same thing now. it's actually disgusting. you have to ask yourself, what exactly is the republican party
12:09 am
willing to do, how far are they willing to go? how much of this country and our values are they willing to sell out? >> stephen: but aren't you a republican? >> i am a republican but i'm not going to be a republican anymore. ( applause ) i've got to become an independent. and you look at what happened today. you have the trump white house defending somebody that was associated with the campaign, and somebody, jared, who still works in the campaign who not only lied about meeting russians all along but actually, if they didn't collude, they certainly decided they were going to coordinate with an enemy foreign government that sees the united states of america as an enemy. and they were willing to do that. and what have you heard from republican leaders today? what have you heard from the
12:10 am
republican party today? nothing. there's always silence. that's not a party that ronald reagan would have -- you know, certainly not cooperating with the russians, that's not a party ronald reagan could associate with, certainly not a party that i can associate with. listen, i won't lower taxes. i want less regulations. i want a more exit you've economy -- i want a more competitive economy and the government taking less money from me -- >> stephen: do you want to run for public office? >> no. >> stephen: you sure? sounds like it. >> why does it souped like that? why aren't we hearing from more republicans? >> stephen: i don't know why. i don't know why. ( applause ) i tell you what, because i know that joe is interested in changing careers.
12:11 am
>> that's true. i am. >> stephen: because i asked, i don't know where you're going to go after this next career you're trying, because i have found out -- >> this is huge. this is big. >> stephen: it's interesting. i am alarmed to find out you are putting out a series of albums with your man scarborough -- >> it's an awesome band. ( applause ) >> stephen: the first one definitely captures my feelings. >> yes, yes. >> stephen: which is mystified. >> mystified. >> stephen: why do you want to be a rock and roll star? >> you know, i have been playing music my whole life, writing songs since i hav i was 14. i did everything else but this. >> stephen: is this what you've always wanted to do? everything else has been a fall-back position and this is what you wanted to do the whole time? >> anybody who knows me knows that's been my life and what i've always wanted to do. i've always written songs -- >> stephen: donald trump, jr.
12:12 am
has a friend who's a music publicist in russia. >> that's true! my lucky break! >> stephen: he's going to do a song later, i'm serious! "morning joe" airs weekdays on msnbc. joe scarborough and mika brzezinski, everybody! we'll be right back with the star of "war for the planet of the apes," andy serkis. stick around! ( cheers and applause ) now get our best offers of the season. on the agile mkc. on the versatile midsize lincoln mkx. or go where summer takes you in the exhilarating mkz. the lincoln summer invitation sales event. ask about complimentary pick up & delivery servicing. right now get zero percent apr plus 1,000 dollars summer savings on the lincoln mkx, mkc and mkz
12:13 am
how was your vacation? hey, guys, what's this tomato doing at randy's desk? [all coworkers laugh] hahahahaha. you know, that actually reminds me, steve. i got you something. aloha! mangoes can get sunburned. put some flavor in your break- with new snapple mango tea- make time for snapple. we, the people, are tired of being surprised with extra monthly fees. we want hd. and every box and dvr. all included. because we don't like surprises. yeah. like changing up the celebrity at the end to someone more handsome. and talented. really. and british. switch from cable to directv. get 4 rooms with hd, dvr, and every box included for $25 a month. allthat was amazing.e sitting. the ceiling is all spider webs. we missed grandpa's 99th birthday.
12:14 am
i'm actively trying to stand up right now. and his funeral. oh i have a beard. oh! a chip. (laughter) binge watching isn't always rewarding. but is. thanks captain obvious. how long have you been here? unlock instant savings now and earn free nights to use later. in our house, we go through a lot of mom!et paper. so we switched to new charmin super mega roll. get six regular rolls in one with charmin super mega roll our longest lasting roll. guaranteed to fit. enjoy the go with charmin.
12:15 am
12:16 am
( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) welcome back to the show! ladies and gentlemen, i'm terribly excited because my next guest is best known as gollum, but he now stars in "war for the planet of the apes." please welcome-- my precious-- andy serkis! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing )
12:17 am
>> stephen: nice to see you again. fies to have you on. >> fantastic to see you again. >> stephen: one of the things i would say to people who say, like, andy serkis does this amazing motion capture performer. i go, no, he's a fantastic performer famous tore doing motion capture because people even to this day don't necessarily understand that that's you all the time during that performance and the magic of motion capture is able to make your performance into an april or a shriveled hobbit or something like that. ( laughter ) how many different non-humans have you cone? >> the weird thing is when we finished with the lord of the rings, i wanted to go back to my career as a normal actor and stage and film and tv and then peter jackson said, do you want to play king kong? i thought i will go from a 3 and a half foot ring junky to a
12:18 am
10-foot gorilla. this is the end of type casting as we know it. anyone can play anything. >> stephen: i guess seven years ago, my boys and i luckily went to new zealand. >> i remember. >> stephen: and were invited by peter to come to the set for the hobbit. on the way there we had a layover on l.a. and saw the original planet of the apes movie with mr. franco. my boys absolutely loved it. it was a brilliant performance. they said, i wonder how much of that is mr. serkis and how much is motion capture is this i said, when we get to new zealand, we'll ask. we went to stone street sued owes and they actually peeled back your performance for us in one of the best scenes of the movie and we saw it's all of you. we have a wonderful clip one of your people sent along of caesar in the movie giving a people. can you set that up for us? >> this is actually not in the movie. this is to demonstrate
12:19 am
performance capture. it is acting. people think there is a mystery to it. this clearly demonstrates the actor is there giving the performance, and that the translation into the april's face the done in post, but you can see all the nuance of the performance is created and authored by the actors. >> stephen: the digitizing is serving your performance. >> correct. >> stephen: jim? it is my hope that out of this solemn occasion a better world will emerge out of the blood and carnage of the past. a world found upon faith and understanding. a world dedicated to the wish for freedom. ( cheers and applause )
12:20 am
>> that's a good common administration. >> stephen: it's actually -- it's a good demonstration. >> stephen: it's beautiful. the first performance people got to know you is gollum. you're doing two different sides. i wondered if i could ask a favor. >> yes. >> stephen: i have it right here, i would love if i could hear either smeegle or gollum read these tweets by donald trump. ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) >> stephen: it's also in there. >> "the fake news media has never been so wrong or so dirty.
12:21 am
purposely incorrect stories and phony sources to meet their agenda of hate. sad!" ( cheers and applause ) despite the constant negative press, covfefe! what's covfefe, precious? >> stephen: no one knows. that's the most beautiful thing. ( cheers and applause ) i gotta say, they actually sound better that way. ( laughter ) >> stephen: in "war for the
12:22 am
planet of the apes," this is a third of the movies, how has caesar, the chimpanzee who was given the virus -- >> that's right, so basically caesar was an orphaned baby chime ban see whose mother died in a l laboratory who was givena cure and it turned into a virus and kills a lot of the humans, and basically caesar is an april that then gets an enhanced intelligence, a rapid escalation of its evolution, feels like. we see him grow and evolve and become more human like. the way he speaks and converses, the way he speaks, you saw a demonstration, and becomes more human like. he basically represents the human condition we see through the eyes of apes. we are the audience invited to see the world through the eyes of apes. but in this movie, this
12:23 am
empathetic character is -- an event happens at the beginning of the movie that sets him off on a journey of revenge and hatred which is completely out of character for him. the war of the planet of the apes was basically the war for caesar's soul. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: war for the planet of the apes is in theater this friday. andy serkis, everybody. we'll be back with a performance by scarborough. yeah, that one. stick around. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) totally blind. and i live with non-24, a circadian rhythm disorder that can throw my days and nights out of sync, keeping me from the people, places, and things i love. the people i love have always been there for me. and now, i'm there for them, too. talk to your doctor, and call 844-214-2424 to learn more.
12:24 am
people are experiencing all the excitement chevy has to offer. ahhhh. oh boy. i'm looking straight up. holy smokes. i can't tell i'm towing anything. wow. that's the jam right there. go for thrilling drives and deals at the chevy summer drive. i want to go to the chevy dealership right when i get home. get the last of the 2017 traverse lt models with 15% below msrp. that's over fifty-six hundred dollars on this chevy traverse. find new roads at your local chevy dealer.
12:25 am
they carry your fans shpassions, hopes, and dreams.s. and maybe, a chance at greatness because shoulders were made for greatness. not dandruff.
12:26 am
♪ if you want a taste of freedom, keep going. we hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men and women are created equal. we must want our fellow human beings to have rights. stonewall means fight back. stonewall means fight back. discover new york state's rich legacy of equality. plan your trip to our equal rights destinations at
12:27 am
( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) work. school. i think it's time we mixed things up. ♪ oh yeah, in your face! and in conclusion, cats. four flavors, four shapes. cheetos xtra cheesy mixups.
12:28 am
♪ ♪oh, my love ♪my darlin' ♪i've hungered for your touch papa, hola! ♪i've hungered for your touch no, no no, no no no! ♪i'll be coming home, wait for me♪ ♪ why? terrible toilet paper! i'll never get clean!
12:29 am
way ahead of you. charmin ultra strong. it cleans better. it's four times stronger and you can use less. enjoy the go with charmin. woman: so this happened. nikki picked up some lime-a-rita's and that's when we knew it was going to be one of those nights. we started hanging a disco ball but then the ball reminded ava of her sequined dress. now we have two disco balls. lime-a-rita. make it a margarita moment. lime-a-rita. (crying and sighing) the world's greatest recipe... meat and fire. a simple combination that has now been mastered. you can't fake steak. longhorn steakhouse. tonight's special, fire crafted flavors. try our new pepper crusted new york strip, our outlaw ribeye, or a full rack of baby back ribs. and for lunch, try our steakhouse burger, or any steakhouse lunch combo. only at longhorn.
12:30 am
>> stephen: now on the stage that hosted elvis presley and the beatles, performing their new single "monkey house," ladies and gentlemen, scarborough. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ welcome to the monkey
12:31 am
welcome to the monkey ♪ welcome to the monkey house everybody's a little crazy ♪ in the monkey house the gods are drunk ♪ and we're all too lazy don't bother breaking out ♪ feel the chaos in short order celebrate your new disorder ♪ hope is lost you're in the monkey house ♪ the doctor's sick and your head is hazy ♪ in the monkey house soon enough ♪ you'll be pushing daisies but there's no need to shout ♪ no time to cry no need to panic ♪ take these pills i think you're manic ♪ enjoy the buzz you're in the monkey house ♪ paranoia is taking over spending nights looking ♪ over your shoulder
12:32 am
welcome to the monkey house ♪ you're ( bleep ) in the morning ♪ you'll feel much better another pill ♪ put on this sweater welcome to the monkey house ♪ good luck ♪ ♪ welcome to my nightmare ♪ welcome to my nightmare welcome to my nightmare, love ♪ ♪
12:33 am
♪ in the monkey house you're in the monkey house ♪ in the monkey house you're in the monkey house ♪ welcome to my graveyard welcome to my graveyard ♪ welcome to my graveyard, girl ♪ everybody's a little crazy in the monkey house ♪ the gods are drunk and we're all too lazy ♪ don't bother breaking out feel the chaos in short order ♪ celebrate your new disorder hope is lost ♪ you're in the monkey house paranoia is taking over
12:34 am
♪ spending nights looking over your shoulder ♪ welcome to the monkey house good luck ♪ in the morning you'll feel much better ♪ another pill put on this sweater ♪ welcome to the monkey house you're ( bleep ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: thank you, joe! that wasn't the last word, man! joe scarborough, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) joe scarborough, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) we'll be right back! mmmm. so areers are the veggies.hs) that one is mine. nice job guys. hope it tastes as good as it looks. (giggles) hey gus, i brought something else you might like. million dollar silver and gold. yeah. the new scratch-off from the pennsylvania lottery. with top prizes of a million bucks! you've always had good taste.
12:35 am
(laughter) keep on scratchin'!
12:36 am
12:37 am
>> stephen: well, that's it for the "late show," everybody. tune in tomorrow when my guests will be john oliver, mike birbiglia, and michael showalter. now stick around for james corden. good night! captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh ♪ are you ready y'all to have some fun ♪ feel the love tonight don't you worry 'bout ♪ where you come from it's gonna be all right ♪ it's the late, late show >> reggie: ladies and gentlemen, all the way from muskogee, minnesota, give it up for your host, the one, the only james corden!


info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on