tv Documentary RT April 18, 2019 11:30pm-12:01am EDT
enclosed with flash. i was born a male i started living as a female when i was nineteen years old had a sex change when i was thirty years old i've now been living as a woman for twenty eight years and i fully regret this nobody can change genders it's impossible. it's delusional it's a mental illness. and the lord god made a woman from the room he had taken out of the man and he brought her to the man once i finally had the surgery i went with this was the wrong thing to do it was the wrong thing to do to cut off my male anatomy. command. this is now one of my bones from the flesh of my flesh she shall be called woman because she was taken out of from a man that is why a man leaves his father and mother knew from nineteen to his wife and they become
one flesh the fact of the matter is the forty percent of people who are attempting suicide are people who regret ever changing genders. and more along right there around four o'clock. but usually i wake up beforehand if you know god truth wakes me up. i read the bible and then i have and then i try to be still and listen for his voice his guidance. my name is
billy burley. living here in polk. and i used to work for nasa. and let me show you all around the house a little bit. of the weather over here and. we don't have air conditioning over here and so we keep the doors and windows open for good bit throughout the year. i was. skinny little introverted. had a speech impediment and tried to talk a lot of people didn't understand me and my body told me i belong with the boy. and i thought with. that i belong with the girl. and i didn't know which way to go i wanted to be like my sister's.
i should be like my fifth to earth and where my older sister started wearing makeup . and with some of her makeup in the bathroom. and then in the sixth grade when i was. on the formerly teen and we had a new guy. he would do when he had a chance he wouldn't play with me he would fondo me and. try to get me to have interaction and just continue to play with me. a map he should sure into a room. for just a moment. come on come you know and get you into
a room back here you are going to keep moving around come on a quiet bad dog bad. i will. silence the da. da da go away just lay down. go lay down first off my name is. i'm an author i've written eight books so far three of them to do with transsexuality i was born male grew up in a very conservative republican family my father was pretty much absent most of my childhood he was an alcoholic. my mother was mentally ill childhood was so troubled and so traumatic that in retrospect i was able to look at it and realize that there was no way i was getting out of childhood normal you go and you take a shower and you're there to get clean but every time i had to take off my clothes
every time i went to bed you know there's no getting around the fact that i wasn't a girl that i was a boy and that really is the one memory that sticks out is just how much i hate. my penis hated. by the time i left high school when i was eighteen i was cross-dressing most of the time once i was away from school and a couple of years afterwards i ended up in san francisco which had a very small gay community and i started i had made the decision by the time i was about twenty to start living full time as a girl. when you started dating people and if you pass well enough the whole purpose is are you a transsexual or are you a woman and my in my mind i was always a woman i'm wanting to date and i'm not telling the men that i'm dating that i have
a penis and so when they find out they become violent there were a couple instances where i was beaten very badly. and i'm a leader of go to center for any political start to our center is very well known especially for transgender surgery and we perform all types of to undergo surgery male to female female to male or to do surgery possible complications and one of the. very very. volatile sort of regretful after one a little on the way in terms of transformation we would try all this to to make you do need to be first very functional and then to be. more acceptable in a stud to coat the heel if you discuss them both male to female results and much better because he was sort of dreamy create
a completely normal female and this person is usually can have sexual intercourse and enjoy in sexual activity according to our experience more than ninety percent transgender surgery starts to be a very popular. person's doctors and you can you can find up to many drug. i'm going to make my journey to least would be different right now and i would be very nice lady or i would be a very strong man or something ladies enough to that. event like alcohol or drug abuse or something ladies. get away from a seizure of a new beginning to this the main milestone was finding a doctor who would give me the hormones if i get the hormones and female cross sets or modes my life will be perfect and then you think well if i can only get my voice
get my male voice up here then that that'll make me you know just happy and then you think the next thing is well if i can get breast implants. that's all i need it's never enough and finally if you. gone through the therapy and you can convince the doctor to start cutting on you know you go and you have a sex change i had my sex change in one thousand nine hundred ninety and in the back of my mind i didn't think i thought it might be like all the other stuff i had done but i was hoping just hoping it would make me feel complete. and i want to get it. so why would you tell your neighbor that you did something
that was so stupid it's absolutely ridiculous to tell a neighbor hey i was a transgender transition pretty embarrassing you go through a gender change to be that stupid to believe that you can actually change genders you get to be pretty. quick to handle the truth. i was born in los angeles family good people i was taken to my grandmother's house quite frequently as my parents like to go away on the weekend they like to camp and fish. became interested in my grandma's house. and i mentioned something to her about that so she decided to make me a purple dress to put it on and wear the dress i finally got so interested and excited about wearing a dress that i get tired of waiting till i was going to go to grandma's house to secretly press trips so i snatched the dress home my mom found the dress and so
then. i was never allowed to go to grandma's house again. the first step was i changed my name secretly when i was about thirteen years old to crystal probably in my late twenties. i started to talk to doctors about hormone therapy and i began to take hormone therapy thirty five years ago there wasn't much information and we concluded that based on everything that was available at the time. undergoing hormone therapy further hormone therapy and gender reassignment surgery would be the answer to resolve this quote gender identity disorder that's when i in april of one nine hundred eighty three i underwent the gender reassignment surgery by dr fiber in trinidad colorado it was amazing i felt like the world had been lifted from my shoulders and it was really wonderful the only
thing i don't know is was it all the medication from five hours of surgery that made me feel this way or was it because i had gone through the surgery because you're pretty heavily medicated my. female name at the time was laura jensen. what you see today in the united states is a debate there is a growing realisation of the strategy of liberal. american foreign. policy strategy it failed in the one nine hundred ninety s. it created problems for the united states it's created the world full of conflicts the soul today there is increasingly a debate over what direction the united states should take.
i was losing a lot of the law through the surgical fight. put. into my new. start my new life. i never had the full ability to have intercourse because the vagina that they make is so small so any time i tried to have intercourse it was extremely painful and it wouldn't happen so these surgeries are nothing more than plastic surgery they they don't create the fallacy. is that they create for a female to males are really hideous looking i've had several female to male
friends and you look at it and you just go oh god you paid for that it's horrible the sex change didn't solve my discomfort the doctors who are honest will say that the gender dysphoria is always there and it's because the confusion is it's not so much it starts out being about your anatomy but really what it's you don't like yourself. being a free and society being i call it in my book a social pariah is not the way you want to live the isolation drives you to despair and so yeah suicide is a big big thing maybe. it's a day where you thought. yesterday i don't
know the first time was right before the surgery in one thousand nine hundred and the only thing that kept me from doing a quiet honest is i'm a coward at heart. i just showed. up at the time i wanted in my life and so many i knew had some cocaine so i attempted to use it to kill myself and it obviously didn't work but. my heart was pounding so hard after i thought it was going to come out of my chest . i feel safer having done that and that staying in one place where people might find out. what i do. i don't want people. i don't want to be.
by the people around. leading church one day. four years ago. i'm ready to commit suicide. and it was. for two or three years. i was actually exchanging information with them on some level times a day to keep from committing suicide he eventually. made. everything. on the computer. to people. for twenty five years. it was.
everything began to make sense to me. when i realized how important it was. to become psychologically emotionally and socially a healthy person that i wanted. to have a way to come back to that same experience that i have and if they have. built a website for change. yeah we're doing we're doing good billy contacted me by email like most people do and we began to exchange information and i talked to him on the phone his story was just like mine and he was sexually abused i was sexually abused and that was kind of the trigger point of changing genders. among kids.
clothes on. t.v. seven years after transitioning to woman and woman. started thinking ok i've been doing this for seven years now my problem should have gone away from by now but they had me and i actually had more problems at that point another problem is just trying to pass. trying to do my hair just try trying to do my makeup just for i trying to look just right to where people would not be uncomfortable because you can see when people identify you as being transgendered. this isn't why. nothing has
really changed i'm still struggling i was better off as i was before the surgery before the hormone treatment and it was at that point five years after the surgery they are about i started to have about changing back that's my student id. and from now a swim in the last year i have a really big adam's apple heavy brown ridge. pretty big. the idea after i had surgery. when i was transitioning back to mail. in louisiana and the driver's license i had a lot of other pictures from that period but one day. when i was.
looking at the pictures of me back during this period seven eight years as being female it was so discouraging that i wasted so much my life in this particular period doing all of this. just in this state that i was. i raised all of the pictures that i had with the computer and destroyed the pictures of me from that period to try to write that period of my life with god's help i went through the change and i went back to being in may. so i went through the surgery and on the bad side of it was so much pain and so much discomfort and read a gratitude and surgery more and then me for. third period i had been in then when he took the band in. my stomach to show me the skin.
i was almost horrified at it to me it was gross but it was surgery and the paperwork that the surgeon gave me. when i had the surgery done the nation really gaming the paperwork and said ok i'm in surge changed to mayo i'm sixty years old there's no reason for me after a lifetime of being in transition to go and start living dressing as a man a name. there's there's there's no. there's no. there's no benefit but there is a benefit and standing before an audience of young kids and college who are considering this. and saying to them ok i'm the real deal i started living when i as a woman when i was twenty i've lived forty years of my life i have breast augmentation i've had genital surgery i've had forty years of hormones all of it has not made my
life any better it's never solved the problem you break your your left leg you go into a doctor's office and under the transsexual rule of medical treatment they say this is your new normal and we're going to break your right leg too i think it's safe to say. when somebody has been cross stressed and affirmed physically abused and sexually abused that psychotherapy is the most needed therapy hormones and surgery. was already. a good. day. her daughter came over to my fourth christian
athlete meeting and it was first met her. and that was. her for coffee and i didn't know it. so i asked one of my classmates what does that mean. a lot of my younger classmates so so she said at the safeway for asking for her trying to meet up with somebody i shared with her my. whatever happened. and she said ok let's be friends we have shared the same. especially. now i can't i know he will say he remembers some time we. sat down for.
i sat close to him when my head on the shoulder and it was that point. with changing. that it was ok for me to start. in a romantic wife and i did. be intimate theme to tween rachel and me. with me being surgically altered i. come to want to. enjoy intimacy in that wonderful fresh air. it is beautiful. for a little bit more right. if you know. the green is starting to turn back brown he asked me pretty soon after
a few months. i think i thought about it for not too long maybe a week or two and responded to my older daughter said. she want they want me to be happy. and i knew i was going to change. big moment came when. i was praying and the lord jesus. to me as a vision in the air is so i could touch him just like i could touch anybody here and he came and reached down to me with his hands and picked me up and said you're now safe with me forever and it was at that moment that my life changed in a split second. look at this i'm healthy. many of the people who've gone through
this before me are dead. they're out there still struggling. with their identity and i'm alive and well and healthy and married for twenty one years to my wife. that's three dimension restoration and i'm helping other people what other thing that's better in life when you're reaching out and helping other people with their life. a. little too pretty. to pretty tasty. i am so happy i am the way i am now. even though i have problems i have a choice to let my problems. me. more
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that. i can find. the mall or report into alleged to trump russia collusion is finally released with many passages redacted it concludes that there was interference from russia but no collusion. there having a good day i'm having to take you to school. no collusion no obstruction. as his legal team celebrate the democrats' demand robert muller testified to the counter-intelligence investigation. and other news greek lawmakers passed a bill demanding the world war two reparations from germany. the latest on the stories you can head to our t.v. dot com kevin and he's the man who'll be here in about an hour's time with a full of news fresh look at that the weekly mind you and you can stay with us for