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tv   Redacted Tonight  RT  April 18, 2020 5:00pm-5:30pm EDT

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he teaches you model. the. welcomer exacted a knife this is a comedy show where americans in america covering american news are called foreign agents how you're feeling out there yes ok hang in there i've learned a lot of things in partial quarantine i've learned things are not that bad when you start feeding your pets human food things are bad when you start eating the pet food. in my defense i only did it to teach him a lesson all right it was not out of necessity and anyway the world on vacation continues to be a weird existence but we need to understand what an incredible gift we've been given all these quiet for most of us our lives are on pause were held in limbo
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just floating here like bananas inside a jello mold the things we thought mattered now don't the things we thought didn't matter now oh reliever now precluded walking around looking like the back end of a peacock it doesn't matter no one cares for years we've been stuck inside the for net ik pace of lives based on nonevent never given a moment to pause to look at the society we had created remember what used to matter before this pandemic remember what you used to focus on how many live picture of your dinner got on instagram what happened in the new episode of the voice of the real housewives of the walking dead or the farting diseased with superhero movie to go see and then complain about how it sucked afterwards whether the guy at work doesn't like you even though he smiles his stupid face that you we
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thought all of that mattered not of it really matters. many of us maybe most of us have been living for nothing rushing towards nonsense while the world burns we've filled our days with the spastic motion of the boy that is if we stop to truly think about it we may figure out our scant few years of consciousness are pissed away as slaves that often meaningless jobs they the corporate owners are sucking away our lives that's what your job is it's a piece of your existence and now with life on holiday we see almost none of it was essential instead the things we were ignoring what were what's actually essential forming a world that will last more than 20 years learning and creating enjoying clean water clean air clean food spending time with your beautiful family right dog god
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all right not that one go back to the waterfall jesus christ's point is the stuff that matters is the stuff we were completely ignoring as our world was eaten by corporate profit but now now and retaken by thousands and millions of birds massive highways normally filled with no ways pollution and coughs now sit empty quiet and clean in los angeles the air quality which is usually some of the worst in the nation has turned into one of the cleanest compared to other major cities even more impressive is the fact that the city has enjoyed its longest stretch of good air quality since 1995 since 99 the by do you visit how long ago 9095 was in 9095 there was a movie starring chuck norris and a dog i'm not kidding and i'm pretty sure the dog want to go and go for that. plus
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nitrogen dioxide has plummeted here's a map of the 2 different time has plummeted over china and italy during this pandemic bears and bobcats have been seen wandering around yellowstone park when they used to live in the shadows coyote's are out and about in california again eating people's pasts it's utopia was doing a hong kong has been trying to get to pander to mate for 10 years and now that the zoo is shut down they finally have what more proof you need the pandas are the patterns are. put in all seriousness and i'm sorry if you don't want to hear this and really start in order to stop climate change and create a sustainable world it requires. the end of capitalism i know it's of setting i know and i know that they're just saying that just saying that is not
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allowed on any corporate media dog and pony show bull infotainment hour if i said that on c.n.n. or fox news a tranquilizer dart would hit me right in the knack right now and they cut to a commercial while my lifeless body was dragged off of set and fed to the starving ladies of fox news and only feed a once a week but let's be intellectually honest just for a moment as guardian columnist george bottom on below said capitalism has 3 in the characteristics that drive us towards destruction firstly that it generates and relies upon perpetual growth and less growth on a planet with finite resources that is physically impossible and find my palm pale touching his toes ok it's a possible 2nd problem is the idea that our right to own natural wealth
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equates to the amount of money that we've got in the bank or we can borrow so you can take as much natural wealth away from other people as you like and it means that no matter what environmentalists do to drive a video game climate change the richest corporations in the world can just under 2 it by buying and polluting ever more the 3rd characteristic is the one that really ensures that people go along with capitalism the idea that everyone can pursue and can expect to find private luxury but of course that's impossible if everyone live the way the top one percent live on the planet would collapse quickly and in fact it's glad to get away right now because of how a percentage of humanity lives we look at a very good point of pink things sure i admit. i like to keep my private jet to air condition to
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a nice 58 degrees in the hottest days of the summer and stocked full of rare endangered fish for lays not for me but for my 5 dogs who are bathed in only the freshest spring water shipped in from alaska but every cycle the fish fillet packages so i think i'm doing my part in the cold truth is 90 percent of humanity will never live anywhere near the way the richest people do in fast the world bank says that nearly half of the world lives on less than $5.50 a day even as our planet crumbles under the weight of consumption and greed most people most people are in poverty and that's how the system of capitalism is designed it's designed it and it's not a mistake it's not a good see it's not a boo boo it's by design it was meant to be that way as mon bio also said
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if we were to admit the truth if we take away the false promise of capitalism and just say to people look private luxuries only for a few people you will never have it and you won't even have a chance of getting it if we admit that then the entire justification for capitalism is no war. i'm not saying i have all the answers but the pandemic shutdown has shown us the problem it is showing us what the world looks like without much pollution without the chaos and roar of mostly meaningless work and i don't mean that everything that has stopped is meaningless but most jobs clearly aren't essential if you could stop doing something for a month or 2 and it doesn't kill anyone you know no one dies from the fact that your job is stopped. that is not essential of course this t.v. show here is essential because without me yelling you. at the corrupt
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leaders then many people would be angry who could take it and kill themselves so i'm saving a lot of lives come to you from washing to say the belly the bases redacted i. welcome my only cam dollars take the news from as you know bernie sanders has one of the democratic primaries to be there to drop out before handing the nomination to a senile old man who fought for segregation. 2 and biden fought for segregation back when his brain was still working how terrifying is that if this
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supporters could say oh yeah well back there you know is brain was tapioca putting back that back when he supported segregation then you might have something but no that was back when his brain was at its best but where was i yes bernie sanders led a political revolution john. taylor was and i'm back over to the neo liberal destruction of the planet he told his supporters they were going up against the democratic establishment against the republican establishment against the military establishment and the corporate establishment we are legion we never got others are right. till we surrender and they win yeah they won their won the democratic establishment republican establishment the military blah blah blah bernie wants you to know they won and he endorses joe biden the one thing bernie sanders seems to have met was that true
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political revolutions don't generally endorse everything they fought against by. in all honesty bernie sanders has done a lot of good by forcing certain ideas into the mainstream however he was never a revolutionary so if there is going to be a true political revolution in america as our empire collapses it must be far larger than just bernie sanders or just one person of any stripes it must be all of us and many and maybe sanders greatest addition to our national discourse was showing that the democratic party will never let progress carry the day now just as in 2016 this time around the millionaires who run the democratic party did everything they could to stop bernie sanders campaign they rigged it with media manipulation they rigged it with collusion among the corporate establishment
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kissing joe biden's but on the same day he was so intense they had to rub chapstick on biden chics. they rigged it by closing polling places in sanders strongest areas they rigged it but instructing alexion volunteers to give out provisional ballots they rigged it with a shadow app in iowa they rigged it but use of blackbox voting machines that can never be held accountable they rigged it by suppressing social media to stop a viral movement of progress and human rights they rigged it with millions of dollars of dark money and they rigged it by giving bernie sanders heart attack using a positive buy on it is telling rag on developed by darpa and plays dunbar's united states avenue for i made up that got the rest are true you can't put a brake on on mars because the earth is flat and mars is
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a plate of pasta sauce everyone knows that. they've reduced. in a 1000000 different ways and now we're expected to jump in bed with joe biden that's no choice at all we have a choice between a serial liar serial sexual assault or serial narcissist serial torture of racist policies oh the rich white man with mental problems funded by big banks and the worst still line puddles of corporate america or donald trump they're practically the same ass. it's like an election between kim carr action and chloe card asking i don't even know which is which this is not a choice would you rather have bits from back to the future to or mr burns from the simpsons that's your option so go ahead good luck to those.
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moving on i want to jump to how the new york times has just realized something that everyone else knew for the past 20 years which that's that's their m.o. because you say there's a reason i go after the new york times because they're supposed to be the accurate media they're supposed to be the good one i don't spend much time fact checking fox news or something because that would be like fact checking your 2 year old after she got into the benadryl bottle and she's plastered calling out that fox news or m s n b c got something wrong feels like yelling and i sit here drunk toddler you are incorrect in your assessment of course that doesn't mean i don't do it sometimes but don't but yes the new york times has suddenly realized that the rich have secretly been exploiting 99 percent of us for ears. they put together
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a series of charts that said g.d.p. has risen 79 percent since the 1980 over that same 40 years the after tax income of the bottom bottom half of earners has risen only 20 percent but for the very wealthy the story is completely different their incomes have risen much faster than g.d.p. up 420 percent since the 1980 s. and adorable the new york times just found out. capitalism. grow up so quick don't search the quality hadn't soared over the past 40 to 50 years with the same g.d.p. that we have today but with 1980 levels of inequality every american household in the bottom 90 percent of income would be earning about $12000.00 more not just this year but permanently in effect each household in the bottom 90 percent is sending
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a check for $12000.00 to every household in the top * one percent year after year after year since 2011 and family in the bottom 90 percent has given the rich a $110468.00 now nice of you to inform us new york times this is certainly something that could have been brought to our attention years ago perhaps during the occupy wall street movement when it would have added massive amounts of fuel to the fires that were burning next week the new york times is going to inform us that osama bin laden is determined to attack within the u.s. can't wait where to go to a quick break but check out my free standup comedy special at leat camp american dot com my standup comedy special is free for the 1st time also grab the new r t america app portable t. which is also free and portable dot tv slash download all over i bet
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a lot more. i'm not for decapitating anybody but i am for dick capitalizing all the wall street bankers by shifting the center of gravity of money from the dollar and fear to bitcoin and that's perfectly within our purview into our scope as the global citizens who wish justice justice truth free competition and hard money that's the only justice stud matters that sustainable that's real that doesn't rely on politicians.
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so the man who is used to put on the chain on the stand could you know a little sponge that's. with nothing to do and that it isn't enough. but much old of the. local just a little plenty of them still lose some you know well that show was still. used to move the ship. you produce not just one puts the most in your will not in one that will not so there is to stuff it takes to get the ship. to. welcome back i'm still a camp while the pandemic has exposed the failings of our government and corporate institutions it is also revealed how dependent state unemployment offices are on
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outdated technology we go now to correspond to naomi care avani who's in the field reporting on this story now it may all mean where are you naomi 1959. i think you know what lee i had a middle seat on a 24 hour time machine ride it was super crowded because everyone was on their way to hitler's birthday even though i got off early it was terrible ok well when we talk about social distancing i think we mean space not time you need to well i wasn't going to go to new jersey that's not safe ever unemployment benefits may be delayed due to outdated computer systems but there's good news c.n.n. reports new job openings at your local unemployment office he wanted urgently people who know a half century old computer language so states can process unemployment claims all you need is 50 plus years experience. where the computer language is how old we are
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little employee to ask the age of a computer program its name is cobol common business oriented language and it was created in 1959 by grace hopper who i just spoke to she can't believe that we're still using the code either. and it's really widespread 61 years later cobol runs the social security administration the v.a. the treasury department and many banks use it to process credit card transactions in 2020 because i just don't teach it anymore so there's a total lack of experts only one programmer maintained colorado's cobol unemployment system before the corona virus outbreak and they get by with one dude not now states are calling for cobol volunteers to help with the massive demand on unemployment agencies like with governor of new jersey in our list of volunteers judy no only do we need health care workers but given the legacy systems we should
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add a page for cobalt. computer skills because that's what we're dealing with but literally we have. systems that are 40 plus years old and they'll be and they'll be lots of post-mortems and one of them on our list will be how the heck did we get here we literally needed cobol programmers did he say cobalt like the color so we don't only desperately need a virus test and ventilators but we also have a shortage of experts in ancient computer language which where is it going to find these people well retirees can get off their boats and volunteer and yes i think he did say cobalt on the bright side they're offering for shiny nickels an hour for the work plus a state of the art frigidaire. ok so what does this mean for the stimulus package that is supposed to put more money in the hands of the unemployed now that well the stimulus is a weekly increase of $600.00 on unemployment checks when i get there for
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a while because states are responsible for distributing the checks and at least 12 states are running their unemployment cobol and antique machinery the floppy disks get dusty really many americans won't receive the relief until months later but i'm suffering to the why fight is crappier so the relief won't relieve much congress has been making cuts to modernization which costs a lot so it's a crisis on a crisis we haven't been investing in the systems serving people in poverty because we thought if it ain't broke don't fix it and now everyone's broke so it's very confusing now i need to go make dinner for my husband or beat me legally so if you'll excuse me. one minute break. and examine. the caravan. next up new segment where i get to chat
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about the news that i didn't get to cover before and with me is my socially distant correspondent natalie mcgill thanks for joining me from way over there natalie what do you got well i've got a warning for our viewers for those of you watching this while quarantining with others you may constantly feel like someone is watching you whether it's your child or your cat or the boyfriend or girlfriend you were planning to pick up with before the korean teen and if you're watching this from baltimore city then you definitely feel like you're being watched after your elected officials just approved a drone surveillance program for cops the spy on you on april fools day baltimore officials approve the deal between the baltimore police department and ohio based company persistent surveillance systems to use drones equipped with high resolution cameras in order to spy on the city's residents through around the clock surveillance the spied for home objections filed by the a.c.l.u. and the legal defense. first of all great name persistent surveillance real subtle
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subtle about it also if you're from baltimore is this standard april fools day joke or generally an april fool's a joke and baltimore is a few switch out somebody is all big canister with like sugar or salt instead of actually. also the name is perfect i mean i think the only thing that would have been better would have been like stalkers r us and it will just be like the backwards are from toys r us maybe they can remember blackwater or yeah exactly but the funny thing is actually that name is actually really appropriate persistent surveillance systems because 4 years ago that same company was under heat for flying a spy plane over baltimore to surveil its citizens without them knowing even the city council didn't even know about this but in this case the city council does know and like the public didn't even get any say. i like that you are the guinea pigs for all the crazy we want to do in this country right harold was just doing to
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baltimore because they can't fight back there you know to a lot of poor people every also looks kind of really up about it it's like everybody knows how jacked up this police department is this is the police department that's known for planting or have making sure that their officers have like a toy gun on them oh right case they get you know yeah in case they get like there or making sure that they plant drugs on like suspects so like they already don't have a great relationship with any of their citizens there that's a. fool's joke is killing someone planting a toy going gun on them you've got another story yeah so our privacy isn't the only thing at risk of falling to covert 19 in the united states postal service is on the verge of collapse and 630000 people could lose their jobs because trump refuses to bail them out the postal service needs $75000000000.00 to stay alive but what's being talked about in this is that's because they were forced to pay their pensions
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like $75.00 yeah this is an advance yes so they're really they're like the only industry that's forced to do that basically because the larger republicans wanted to bankrupt them yet everybody knows that the united states postal service is not a business it was never intended to be a business it's a service that i never supposed to be like that acts of the i just it's going to say these public libraries are not making a big enough profit have you know to say they are not raking in the dough like they should be it's ridiculous i mean at this point we're going to have to have like a national slingshot or something like. i mean nothing with classified obviously but no it's really it's a ridiculous and it's an absurd standard that no other government agency has to handle and i don't think a lot of people realize how screwed we will be without a postal service like if you're somebody who has your. business is to create tiny jackets for hamsters on etsy. wow all right natalie thanks so much
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thank you. and here are your headlines from the future on monday e.s.p.n. will report 30 percent of pro sports mascots of kill themselves due to lack of audience philly fanatic latest to crush head 'd with comically large mallet that was a sad story and one week you'll learn with the world on lockdown endangered of why all the water possums have a gun living in donald trump's hair again that's adorable and in 3 weeks the washington post will report. something something coronavirus something something what month there's a. that's our show but if you look at present the free to do ad all right now check out my standup comedy special elite camp american dot com and my new book is that lee camp book dot com plus i've been putting up web exclusive videos all the time
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of you tube god calm so i was redacted tonight until next time goodnight and keep fighting. the world is driven by a dream shaped by one person. thinks . we dare to ask. them out is to be some don't know why you hate you this is.
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the belief. they can deceive you she's really going to leave. you take just a little shots walk next you don't. give a solution see the. sort of the.
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see of its revenue model registers dogs and registers litters so it's involved transactional relationship with those breeders and obviously the ones producing those dogs are the largest scale breeders so why is it going to crack down on those large scale breeders and sacrifice the revenue from a rigorous program that stops people from confining animals.


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