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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  August 28, 2015 11:35pm-12:37am EDT

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i'm sade baderinwa. >> i'm david novarro. jimmy kimm >> announcer: from hollywood - it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight johnny knoxville, from the golden state warriors, stephen curry, and music from kelly clarkson, with cleto and the cletones and now, here's jimmy kimmel! [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: hi there, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show.
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it's very nice. i know a lot of you, i know most of you in our studio audience tonight are here on vacation, but for a lot of children, including students at public schools here in los angeles, the party known as summer is over today. the pencils are sharpened. the taters have been totted. do you know it's illegal to send your kids to school without posting a picture of your kid with a backpack? it's true. the cops will come to school and take then. school is like the pumpkin spice latte of institutions. but don't worry, kids. then you'll get to go to a different kind of school called work, and it only ends when you
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get old and die. [ applause ] nothing to be happy about, but i appreciate it. most kids don't have any idea what their parents do at work. i think i was like 30 when i finally said, what are you up to? i now where you are, what's going on there? and why are you in a suit? i thought it might be fun tonight to talk to some children out on hollywood boulevard, which, by the way, is the best way to bring kids. you can just drop them off in the morning and let them run around until way after dark. elmo and spongebob will take care of them. so anyway, i thought it might be fun to ask kids what their parents' jobs are. and we have some children lined up outside right now. we found kids on the street. what is your name? >> annalise garcia. >> jimmy: how old are you?
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>> 6. >> jimmy: what are you going into the first grade? >> yes, sir. >> jimmy: and when does school start, soon? >> yes. >> jimmy: it does. are you excited about that? >> kind of. >> jimmy: but it's fun to have the summer, right, and to not have to do that kind of thing, right? >> yes. >> yes. >> jimmy: that's good. that would have been no. what does your dad do for work? >> he is a truck driver. >> jimmy: that's very simple. what kinds of things does he >> he delivers stuff. >> jimmy: and what about your mom? >> she's a nurse. at a hospital? >> no. >> jimmy: what's that? >> i don't kind of get that. >> jimmy: she doesn't work at a hospital? >> no. >> jimmy: she's just a free-lance nurse walking around on the streets sponging people? >> no. >> jimmy: let's check with your mom or dad, i'm not sure whose mom that is. are you a nurse? >> yes, i am. >> jimmy: do you work at a
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>> no, i don't. >> jimmy: that was right. your husband, is he a truck driver? >> yes, he is. >> jimmy: very nicely done, i'm shocked by this. >> jimmy: i really. . by the way, i would love to know what your son benji thinks you do for a living, because you stand next to me, and i still haven't figured it out. >> he doesn't have no idea. >> jimmy: he has no idea, all right. let's see who's out there next. hi, what's your name? >> bryce. >> jimmy: these kids all look like they stepped out of a catalog or something. how old are you, bryce? >> 6. >> jimmy: 6 years old, very good. i like your hat. >> thank you. >> jimmy: so bryce, what does your dad do for a living?
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does he have a job? >> i don't know. >> jimmy: you don't know. okay. what about your mom? >> yes. >> jimmy: what is her job? >> how she does a karate center. >> jimmy: what? she's a karate person? >> yes. >> jimmy: oh, wow. she teaches people karate? >> no. she, um, she, like, does the stuff in the front. >> jimmy: she what? >> she does the front in the front desk. >> jimmy: oh, she works at the front desk at the karate center. [ laughter ] is that your mom with you right now? >> yes. >> jimmy: all right. hi, how are you. >> hi. you work at the front desk at a karate center? >> yes, we own a karate studio. my husband teaches the classes and i run the front office. >> jimmy: so he probably never goes in the back. that's why he doesn't know what
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dad's doing. >> correct. >> jimmy: all right. i have to say. [ applause ] >> jimmy: hello there, what's your name? >> shaline. >> jimmy: where are you from? >> canada. >> jimmy: that's like a whole yeah. >> yes. >> jimmy: what do they do for what are their jobs? >> jimmy: okay. very, and so where does he, he >> yes. >> jimmy: and your mom? >> my mom does community >> jimmy: like at a prison? >> kind of. >> jimmy: kind of. how long has your mom been in prison? >> she's never been in prison. >> jimmy: oh, she's never been in. because a minute ago you said >> yes. but she -- >> jimmy: remember, you're under this is the united states. your, i think that must be your dad there, hey, there, how you doing? so your wife's in prison, huh? >> well, off and on.
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>> jimmy: off and on. [ laughter ] and did she get both jobs correct? >> yeah, more or less. >> jimmy: very good. see, the canadians know. let's check in -- [ applause ] -- who do we have out there? we have one more. oh, hi, kids. are you brother and sister? >> yes. >> jimmy: what are your names? >> rocco and arlo. >> jimmy: what does your dad do for a living? >> -- underwear. >> jimmy: he does what? is that your dad? let's see, is your dad with you there? oh, yeah. [cheers and applause] >> that's my boy.
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he doesn't know how close he really is. >> don't believe my dad. >> jimmy: don't believe him? why, does he make up stories? >> yeah. >> jimmy: and how often does he poop in those underwear? >> so much, every single day! >> jimmy: all right, well, that's johnny knoxville, of course. and -- [cheers and applause] -- we'll talk to johnny later on. first of all, yes, johnny knoxville is a father. he is a good father. i've seen him fath. we're going to see why people are suing manny pacquiao. and floyd mayweather for fight they had. and even better than that, kelly clarkson is here to sing tinder profiles. we'll be right back! [cheers and applause]
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>> dicky: abc's jimmy kimmel >> jimmy: welcome back. johnny knoxville, stephen curry is here and music from kelly clarkson coming up. but first boxing news involving floyd mayweather and manny pacquiao. you know mayweather beat pacquiao. and since that night, more than 30 lawsuits have been filed alleging what everyone thought would be fight of the century was a fraud. people are demanding their money back on the grounds that
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shoulder injury until after the fight. they're packy outraged. i don't understand this. i know i was there. i paid a lot more than $100 to see that fight. but i can personally attest, it was a real, it was a real boring fight, but it was a real fight. and listen, if we could sue down, everybody involved with the new season of "true detective" would be in jail right now. [ applause ] we have in the audience tonight? [cheers and applause] well, nowadays one of the most popular ways to search for a mate is on tinder, it's where your area pops up. you have to decide whether to swipe left or right, and you can meet in a public bathroom and make love.
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some of the profiles like some of the people are unusual. and here now to sing some of please welcome three-time grammy award winner, kelly clarkson, kelly? [cheers and applause] just lookin' for someone to take me to a selenium concert i'm 5'9" ah, ah, ah [cheers and applause]
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i got a foot fetish i'm willing to pay for your manny your mani and pedi and wash up your feet and wash up your feet, yeah. i got a foot fetish i'm at the westin in ft. lauderdale ft. lauderdale ft. lauderdale i'm going to china for a month i'm lookin' to slip into something before i leave before i leave swipe right >> slippin' into something! yes!
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i love my hairless cat hairless cat bakin' cookies bakin' cookies and smokin' blunts spoken blunts >> mm-hm. come on! hairless cat bakin' cookies hairless cat bakin' cookies smokin' blunts smokin', smokin', smokin' blunts hairless cat bakin' cookies yes, yes, yes, jesus, and smokin' blunts blunts >> jimmy: wow!
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>> jimmy: welcome back to our show. tonight, the reigning league mvp and a world champion on top of that. from the golden state warriors, stephen curry is here. then later, a very talented young person, her latest album is called "piece by piece," kelly clarkson from the samsung outdoor stage. tomorrow night we welcome queen latifah, john mcenroe, and
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we'll have music from mumford and sons. and on thursday night topher grace, lily tomlin, and music from the struts. >> jimmy: our first guest tonight is an entertainer who has ruptured more vital organs in the name of his art than all of nascar combined. his new documentary profiles a man who inspired him to do, "being evel" opens in theaters friday. please welcome johnny knoxville. [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: good to see you. how you doing? how are you? >> you look amazing. he's tan and handsome. >> jimmy: your kids are very cute kids. they really are cute kids. are they normal? are they coming out normal? >> well, i think you saw how
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>> i see so much of myself in rocco. i worry for him. >> jimmy: worry for him, but for america. i don't know if we could have two of you in the world. what do you do this summer? did you go away? did you go on a trip? >> we took them back to see my family in tennessee. >> jimmy: nice. >> got to see my mom and dad. get to see them about once a year. >> jimmy: how does that go? is it fun? >> yeah, they spoil them the whole time and give them all kinds of sugar. and dad, dad's whole story. >> jimmy: your dad is. >> yeah, he's a huge character. he's always cranky growing up. and my mom's like, have you seen your dad's new business card? let me show you what my dad's new business card is. >> jimmy: oh, all right. what business is your dad in? >> well, he was retired. he was driving my mom crazy, so she sent him back to work. he sells cars. >> jimmy: he's a car salesman? price equipment company. oh, boy!
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[cheers and applause] you know what, when you sell cars, you have to hustle. you can't just sit there. you have to use every possible -- >> there's been ads in the newspaper taken out. >> jimmy: well, maybe you should sue your dad, you know? speaking of suing and lawyers and whatever, do you hear from steveo. i don't know if you're aware of this, but your friend steveo, right down the block, climbed like a ten-story crane or >> he had a blow-up shamu doll. >> jimmy: yeah, it was a big deal. >> so i was a little worried about him. and i texted him, just seeing if he had an attorney, because he's going to need it. >> jimmy: right, he was
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arrested, yes? >> yeah. he got arrested. he went to jail, but, so, but i had a really good attorney contact me a couple weeks ago about another thing, actually contacted me. there was some case with a stun expert, and i guess he stun gunned many times, an expert. and he said would i come, you know. >> testify in this trial. i'm like, sure. well, you may need to get stun gunned. but the judge threw out the case. >> jimmy: oh. >> before i could do it. but i was really, i will a good attorney for steve-o, but. >> jimmy: i'm surprised that the judge would not stick around for that, some entertainment in the courtroom. i thought your documentary about evel knievel was great. i grew up loving evel knievel. i had the toy and the motorcycle, and i thought he was
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like a super hero, and it made sense. i didn't really realize that he was so -- in a way, he's almost killed you a bunch of times. >> i loved him growing up. in the '70s, it was mohammed ali, and elvis, and evel. there weren't any people of bigger than that. i don't think there would be a jackass without evel. it's like part sport, part daredevil, the x games, and that came from evel. your -- >> that came from evel, too. i broke my ding ding, once, trying to back flip a motorcycle. >> jimmy: it's a medical term. were you. >> i have a shirt i made tonight on. you about i wear an evel knievel
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shirt i had crudely drawn. but it was for a tribute we doing to evel. >> jimmy: there's no more touching tribute than breaking your ding ding to honor your fellow man. >> a couple centimeters down, broke in my, you know, crotch. it would have been lights out, downstairs, but since then, i had those two little angels you saw earlier. >> jimmy: i guess they came out of there, yeah. what did you learn about evel knievel that you were not aware of? >> well, i mean, just that he was such an insane salesman. p.t. barnham like salesman. he got a job at an insurance company once before he started jumping, and he broke all the records at this insurance company. he actually sold more in one
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week than most people sold in a year, but the week he broke that record, he, he set it by may have been going to a mental institution, selling the policies. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. but it's a record, and it stands to this day. >> jimmy: well, evel knievel and insurance really go hand in hand, i guess. when we come back, we'll see a clip from a new movie called "being evel." johnny knoxville is here. [cheers and applause] this one would keep me organized. i could list all the days i've been banned from social media. this one is so hd. you could see everything, even my strech marks. oh wait wait wait. this thing has built-in live broadcasting? what up youtube! introducing the samsung galaxy s6 edge+ and the note5. get the samsung galaxy note5 with jump! on demand for 0 upfront and just $25 bucks a month. only at t-mobile.
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you know, there's three tv stations back then, and when evel was on abc, everyone knew it. that's what you did that night was watch and that's what you talked about for the next few weeks afterwards. he was so popular that out of the top ten rated wide world of sports shows in the 37 years of the show, he holds seven of them. >> jimmy: that is unbelievable. the new movie is called "being evel." it opens in theaters on friday. johnny knoxville, co-producer of the film. there are a lot of stories, what a guy, i don't say what a guy in a good way, necessarily, because evel knievel probably i did more bad things than good, as kids we
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didn't know that. he was like a figurine to me. >> yeah. super hero, yeah. >> jimmy: there's a story about i'll let you tell the story, that is really unbelievable. >> yeah. you could have done a whole documentary on evel before he turned 20. at 19, he started a semi-pro hockey team. he convinced a team to come to dubuque and scrimmage his bombers, and they smoked the bombers like 22-3. but evel went out 2009 each period and said the czech delegation is bigger than we anticipated. can we please pass this hat around. he did that every period. around the third period he left the ice. and when he left the ice, that hat left the ice. when they left the ice, all the proceeds from the game somehow
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got taken from the safe. and the, and the czechs had no way to get out. so the u.s. olympic committee had to go in to butte to help get the czechs out of -- >> jimmy: out of montana? >> yeah. but they never caught evel. >> jimmy: he's too fast. he's on the motorcycle. you can't catch him. >> but he was so charismatic and so sharp and obviously a little shady, but they never, he would never get caught. they would know, but they could never catch him. >> jimmy: did you ever meet evel? >> well, i had a chance to. matt hoffman was getting an award for espn. and he asked me and the jackass guys to present. so we were excited. because evel knievel was going to be there that night, our hero.
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so i walk out on stage to, you know, say a few words about matt hoffman who produced this with us. and as soon as we walk out on stage, someone kicks we-man from behind. he goes skating across the stage on his belly, ponyos comes out wearing nothing but a thin belt. so i'm sweating through whatever i'm saying, and they immediately kick us out of the show. and evel was not happy with us, and i don't blame him. >> jimmy: by the way if you can make a man mad who stole money from the czechs -- the late great frank gifford. >> we tried to get frank to tell this one story in the dock, but he just wouldn't. evel and frank had a lot of respect for each other. but wimbley, the wimbley jump which ended in disaster, and i think aside from caesars, it was the most he'd been hurt on one jump. so he hits the jump.
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he goes flying. the bike ends up on top of him. he's broken his hip and some other things. he's laying on the ground, everyone's around him. he's like, oh, frank, get frank. they're like, frank, come over, frank. frank runs over. he looks down, and evel's like, frank, and he says can you do me a favor? anything, evel. can you get that broad out of my room? [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: if you have that kind of friend they'll do that for you. i had one of these. >> oh, this is the best toy of all time. >> jimmy: this is your actual toy? >> yeah, my actual toy. >> jimmy: the evel knievel stunt cycle which they stopped selling after evel beat his publicity man with a bat, right? >> yes, they did suspend sales after that. >> jimmy: i broke mine almost
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immediately. it got stripped. where's the thing. >> oh, this is it. set up the blocks. >> jimmy: oh, god, the blocks are going to take forever. is this okay if i open this? >> yeah. yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: i don't know if this is your nest egg or what. >> no, go nuts. >> jimmy: oh, this will only take me about 40 minutes. >> i'll be revving while you set it up. >> jimmy: you rev. it sounds >> a lot's going to >> jimmy: just like the real yes. this friday. we'll be back with
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>> jimmy: two short months ago, our next guest won his first nba championship, was voted mvp of
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the league and set a new all-time record for mouth-guard-chewing. from the world champion golden state warriors, please welcome [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: how are you? >> good, how are you? >> jimmy: i'm good. i haven't seen you since you won. congratulations. that was a lot of fun to watch, that series, really was a lot of fun. obviously, it's something that you will never forget for the rest of your life, but did you really take a moment to stop and, i know you didn't go to the big party in las vegas or whatever.
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have you been enjoying the spoils of success? >> it's been fun. it's been different. a lot more people recognize you running around on the street and obviously my family. it's been a great journey, winning a championship and a mvp in the same season, it's a whirlwind. >> jimmy: are you planning to do it again? >> yes. >> jimmy: when you're up in the bay area, do you ever pay for a meal now? >> i sold some teammates, i was going to try to eat out as much as i co. walk in with my hands up, see how many people would pick up the tab. it hasn't happened. >> jimmy: next season you've gained like 45 pounds. i don't know, people keep buying me food. you just played golf with the president of the united states. which, and he drove you. >> he was my chauffeur, right? that's obama right there. >> jimmy: he doesn't get to drive a car. i don't think he's driven, really, since he's been president. >> that's true. that's probably something he enjoys, and obviously, they're not going to trust me to drive the president around. >> jimmy: you don't think so? how did it work? who played. >> me and my dad, ray allen and the president. >> jimmy: was he competitive? >> oh, for sure.
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>> jimmy: it was. >> the president was talkin' trash. >> jimmy: my goodness. how do you talk trash in golf? what specifically did he say? >> basically, it would be like a four foot putt. it's usually a gimme, he'd be crickets, looking at you, putting the pressure, that kind of deal. talk about you shaking and all that kind of stuff. he made fun of ray allen and said he had a posse, he needed a bus for all the people he brought to the course to meet the president. >> jimmy: that's funny. i mean, that's surprising. it's supposed to be relaxing, a round of golf, but it doesn't
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sound like it was at all. >> there's 25 secret service agents around every hole, so i couldn't relax. snipers everywhere. >> jimmy: who won the game? >> well, me and my dad lost. >> jimmy: you and your dad lost. >> it was my fault. on the 18th hole i pretty much triple bogeyed the last hole and lost the match for us. hopefully there's a rematch. >> jimmy: it's probably for the best. you don't want to get audited or something like that. you don't want to mess with the president. you could wind up in a great deal of trouble. by the way, i hear your daughter over here, riley, hi, riley! [cheers and applause] she knows what dad does for a living, right? >> she does. >> jimmy: she was the star of the post-game press conferences. >> she was. that was my first time bringing her up there. it's kind of a cool platform to show your daughter what you do for a living and let her enjoy a win. and she took it by storm. >> jimmy: did she understand what was going on? that suddenly she became a national sensation? >> she's probably wondering why the camera's in her face right now. >> jimmy: probably why cameras aren't always in her face right now.
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hi, riley. [cheers and applause] that's a lot of fun. where did you pick up the mouth habit? >> i got elbowed in college, my junior year and kind of bust my lip open. so i wear a mouthpiece every single game. and every year, it's gotten farther and farther away from my teeth. >> jimmy: they're not that effective if they're hanging out of the corner of your mouth like you're smoking a banana. and how often will you wash those? is it the same one? or is it a series of them? >> it's a very unsanitary process. >> jimmy: it is. >> i don't think, i wear the same one every three or four games. >> jimmy: okay. you rotate them. >> that's why nobody kisses me after the game. but i chew on it like crazy. it kind of calms me down, especially if i'm at the free-throw line. i get in my rhythm. >> jimmy: did you wear it when you played golf with the
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president? >> jimmy: maybe you wouldn't imagine you show up at the golf >> that means i'd be about my >> jimmy: be a very strong move. offseason? how do you spend it? >> in summer i get to go to china with under armour for my little tour for curry one and curry two. it's unbelievable experience. and get to go over to asia five, you know, countries, in five days. >> jimmy: you're really going to see the sights. >> exactly. and have some fun for sure. >> jimmy: have you ever been to asia before? >> we went two years ago with the warriors. we had an exhibition game there in beijing and shanghai, but i've never been there by myself, touring and doing the whole -- >> jimmy: they're going to be very excited to see you. that must be a strange thing to go to another country where
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you're obviously a foreigner, you stand out and people cheer for you. >> you can't hide at all. you just got to get ready for it. it will be a cool experience. i know they love basketball over there and they're passionate about it. i've seen when other athletes go over there how much they welcome them. so i hope to get that experience too. >> jimmy: your dad played for the hornets, and you do hang around the locker room and meet the players? were there guys that you -- >> i was lucky, that was my favorite part of being a part of what my dad did for a living. me and my brother used to hang around locker rooms after games and tried to meet guys. and i got a picture with michael jordan and dennis rodman in the back of the tunnels. >> jimmy: wow. >> my favorite players growing up that he played with is mosey bogues. so i used to hang out with him all the time.
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he's 5'3". so he was an inspiration like i can play in the nba. every year i used to see how much taller you were based on how close you were to eye level with mosey. i reached him at about 12 years old. the sky's the limit. >> jimmy: started giving you his hand-me-downs. >> the notches on the wall to see how tall you are, you just look at mosey. >> jimmy: congratulations. you seem like a very nice guy. and i'm very happy for you. [cheers and applause] the golden state warriors. you know, next year has the cavaliers favored to win next year. what do you say to that? >> they still have to play us. we'll be ready to go. stephen curry, everybody. we'll be right back with kelly clarkson.
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hey terry stop! they have a special! so, what did you guys think of the test drive? i love the jetta. but what about a deal? terry, stop! it's quite alright... you know what? we want to make a deal with you. we're twins, so could you give us two for the price of one?
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come on, give us a deal. look at how old i am. do you come here often? he works here, terry! you work here, right? ok let's get to the point. we're going to take the deal. get a $1000 volkswagen reward card on select 2015 jetta models. or lease a 2015 jetta s for $139 a month after a $1000 volkswagen bonus. >> announcer: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live >> jimmy: i'd like to thank johnny knoxville, stephen curry and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. nightline is next but first, her album is called "piece by piece" here with the song "invincible" -
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kelly clarkson! [cheers and applause] had hit the ground i was crying out couldn't make no sound no one hears silent tears collecting all alone never been so low til you came along teacher i feel the dots connecting a waterfall cause i can take on so much more than i have ever dreamed beat down on me beat down like a waterfall cause baby i am ready to be free now i am invincible no i ain't a scared little girl no more i running for i was hiding from the world i was so afraid i felt so unsure but now i am invincibl and i'm
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a perfect storm oh oh oh now i am a warrior a shooting star you know i got this far i had a broken heart no one hears silent tears collecting cause it's being weak that's strong in the truth i'm found i have courage now i'm gonna shout it out teacher i feel the dots connecting so beat down on me beat down like a waterfall cause i can take on so much more than i have ever dreamed beat down on me now i am invincible no i ain't a scared little girl no more
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yeah i am invincible what was i running for oh oh oh i was hiding from the world i was so afraid i felt so unsure but now i am invincibl and i'm a perfect storm oh oh oh i was running from an empty threat of emptiness i was running from an empty threat that didn't exist i was running from an empty threat of abandonment i was running from an empty threat that didn't exist oh
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now i am invincible no i ain't a scared little girl no more yeah i am invincible what was i running for i was hiding from the world i was so afraid i felt so unsure now i am invincible and i'm a perfect storm oh oh oh now i am invincible no i ain't a scared little girl no more i running for oh oh oh [cheers and applause] i'm gonna play it been so long i forgot how to
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turn it up up up up all night long oh up up all night long you where the hell did you come from you're a different different kind of fun i'm so used to feeling numb now i've got pins and needles to come like a finger on a loaded i can feel it rising temperature inside me haven't felt it for a lifetime this is my heartbeat song and i'm gonna play it been so long i forgot how to turn it up up up up all night long oh up up all night long this is my heartbeat song and

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