tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC March 7, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EST
i'm host. thanks for coming. welcome to hollywood. and wig news around here, it rained today. there was rain and even hail this morning. either that or justin bieber was pelting our houses with tiny little eggs. but something was happening and safely. show you. there's an app called masquerade. it turns your face into other people's faces. one of the people you can turn into is me. you can swap faces with the person next to you. so it was my wife's birthday saturday and my 19-month-old daughter jayne and i were making a video for her. i was making the video, jayne was just sitting there. when you see my daughter you'll agree she looks just like me. >> hello. >> hello.
hi. anawonowono. hi. >> happy birthday. >> happy yawallay. >> happy birthday to? >> mama. >> jimmy: there you go. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: these are the kinds of things our parents never had the opportunity to do with us. because we didn't -- never mind. anyway. there are more caucuses and primaries over the weekend. trump and cruz each won two states. rubio won puerto rico. bernie sanders won a few states. hillary clinton won big in louisiana. everyone went home a win letter just like soccer camp. even john kasich got a serf participation. he also got a high-profile endorsement from arnold schwarzenegger. kasich yesterday. or maybe he endorsed a chicken
i really don't know what he's saying. he can't even say "state of california." he endorsed case and i can gave him a hug, looked like he could pop his head off. this is particularly interesting. basically governor kasich is hoping to beat the former host of "the apprentice" with help from the current host of "the apprentice," arnold schwarzenegger. this is such a strange election. i personally am waiting to see who dolph lundgren endorses before i make my decision. last week we had super tuesday. on tuesday. this morning i turn on cnn to find out they're calling tomorrow super tuesday 2. there can't be a super tuesday 2. tuesday 2 already has a name, it's wednesday. super tuesday 2. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: now they're just screwing with me. this comes from the minnesota state high school hockey tournament where the captain of
i think is an mvp-caliber postgame interview. >> yeah, you know, we had a few odd man rush in the first period which was not good for us. i mean, everyone had their nerves going, everything like that. which we were glad too keep them to that, everything like that. in the locker room just talked about what we need to face and everything like that. stick to the game plan. get back to it and everything like that. so just paid off, stick to the game plan, you know. stiffing up defense, everything like that. just everything like that. >> you moving on to the semifinals. your uncle stu played awhile back, 20 years ago, with alexandria. did you get advice from him coming into the tournament? >> yes, a long text from him saying don't let the atmosphere get your nerves shaken up and everything like that. just play your game. which is what i tried to do out yeah, definitely helped from him and everything like that. >> jimmy: that's a new one. i didn't know about "everything like that."
i hope to hear more of it in the future. but meanwhile, while the captain of that hockey team was unleashing a new interview phrase on the world, on saturday our friend flavor flav just stopped by the weather map on a local station in salt lake city, specifically to keep one of the classics alive. >> check this out. right over here you see right 56 degrees. you know what i'm saying? also we going to take it all the way right here, you know what i'm saying, west valley? 57 degrees right here in west valley. you, let me tell you all something. you know weather's coming, it's going to be kind of good today, you know what i'm saying? this is what we're looking at today, you know what i'm saying? right over here, you know what i'm saying, over here, echo. let's go to echo, know what i'm saying? hello, hello, you heard the echo, right? >> jimmy: i think that's elko. i did hear the echo. wait, hold on, there's more. >> let me be here, you know what
you know what i'm saying? but thank you, fox, you know, for letting me come on this morning, you know what i'm saying. big shout-out to my brother ronnie, you know what i'm saying, athletic director, west high school. we going to be back, you know what i'm saying? >> jimmy: there you go. he is a multi-talented performer, you know he is. how the hell did flavor flav wind up in u.s. utah in the first place? maybe his travel agent didn't know what he was saying. something of note for those single and looking to mate, tinder is testing out what they call a share button. have you seen this? if you see someone on tinder who you think might be right for someone you know, you can sent their profile and then your friend can then swipe right for yes or left for no, making you the matchmaker, or setting up a threesome, i don't know. tinder is always coming up with new and exciting ways to force us to have sex with each other.
tinder is you don't have to get set up? now that they have this, how long before your mom gets on it and ruins it for you? i swiped you right, honey, i think you're going to -- meanwhile. tinder was designed to get relationships started. there's another new service to help you break up. it's called the breakup shop. it's a real company. you can hire them to send a breakup text or make a breakup phone call. a text is $10. a phone call is $29. why you wouldn't just do this yourself, i have no idea. but they'll also send a card that smells like poop if you prefer something old fashioned. or they'll send a letter. this is one of the letters they'll send on your behalf. dear stephanie. i guess you put the person's name in. i know what you and gary did at the cottage last weekend. norm showed me the whole video and made me sick, how could you. next time you want to cheat on someone, at least do it in private. enjoy being single. now i'm dying to know what gary and stephanie did at the cottage.
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>> my country, we say it two stripes who come together to make zebra. >> i don't know what you're saying. >> here. eat ice cream. >> thank you. >> you know, my country say, when donkey kicks you, you ride on the donkey. i don't know, nothing is working. what's wrong? please don't cry. >> uber ex. and for even lower fares try uber ex pool. uner ex. because people are monsters. >> jimmy: we have to get to break. when we come back we'll delve into tonight's bachelor women tell-all and john legend bids farewell to "downton abbey" so stick around, we'll be right
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>> jimmy: hi, there, welcome back. naomi watts, john legend, and music from elliot sumner obligation the way. tonight, i don't know if you watch, the "batch love" women tell-all special. i find it hard to believe they have anything left to tell but they did. they should call these special episodes what they really are, which as last chance to yell at the crazy one in public. in this case there were two crazy ones, olivia and lace, who i feel like lace was on the show eight seasons ago. it doesn't seem like it was this year but it was this year. she was on this season. and apparently inspired tonight's shocking twist. >> your tattoo. what does it say?
yourself before you love anyone else so whoever puts is ring on my finger, i have to truly love myself before they can do that. >> are you there yet? >> no. >> can i say one thing, please? so sorry. you are crazy. but you're crazy beautiful. >> thank you. >> i don't want to seem crazy but i have to show you this one thing. >> no i need to see the tattoo. >> jimmy: she met her soul mate and her murderer in one night. [ laughter ] isn't that great? and they all lived happily ever after. what the hell is going on? on the other end of the television spectrum last night on pbs the series finale of "downton abbey," a show set in a
considered to be a classy thing to do. the show ran for six seasons. it's the most-watched drama on pbs ever. no show in the history of television made better use of doilies than "downton abbey." if you're a fan of the program or familiar with the beautiful opening theme song, it's a haunting theme that unfortunately doesn't have lyrics. until tonight. here now to perform the never before heard lyrical version of the "downton abbey" theme song, welcome grammy, golden globe and oscar winner john legend. [ cheers and applause ] everyone we know is very white we don't have one black friend mary and edith love to fight
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>> jimmy: welcome back. tonight, he's a man of music, movies and now tv too. his new series is called "underground." john legend is here. then, from england, this is her album, it's called "information." music from eliot sumner. eliot is the daughter of a very famous musician named sting. she's really great. later this week louis c.k., connie britton, isla fisher, viola davis, plus music from st. lucia and the suffers. and tomorrow night, ray romano and mitt romney will be here. not together. they're arriving separately. funny if they were together. but they're not. our first guest comes to us by way of england, wales, australia, new york and los angeles.
whom you can see next in "the divergent series: allegiant." it opens in theaters march 18th. please welcome naomi watts! drop >> jimmy: how are you? oh, boy. i hope that microphone doesn't damage that beautiful dress. that dress must cost hundreds of dollars, first of all, yes? >> i'm sure. but i don't own it. >> jimmy: you don't own it? will somebody else get it afterwards? >> i don't know. yeah, well, or maybe now that we've talked about it they'll give it back, let me keep it. >> jimmy: they should let you keep it, it's a fantastic dress, really unbelievable. >> these chairs are super high, i can't reach the ground. >> jimmy: you've done nothing but complain since you got out here. >> i need a pillow. >> jimmy: you need a pillow? guillermo, give the woman a pillow for god's sake.
motel across the street -- while he gets that, welcome. your liev schreiber, you live here in new york? >> man friend. yes, we live in both places, we go back and forth. >> jimmy: back and forth, you have houses in either place and that's -- i mean, that's got to be kind of nice. >> yeah, it is nice. but it does get exhausting. yeah. i'm taking the red eye tonight back to new york. have you done the red eye much? >> jimmy: i have, yes. >> it's a killer. >> jimmy: it's very bad. once somebody gave me an ambien. before getting on the red eye. and i cannot take drugs of any kind. and i passed out in the car to the airport. i was being driven, don't worry. and i slept the whole flight. i slept the car ride to the hotel. i slept the whole weekend. then i got back in the car and went back. >> missed the -- oh, my. >> jimmy: i missed the whole weekend.
>> jimmy: it's bad for me. here comes guillermo with a pillow. thank you, guillermo, you're a champion. >> guillermo: where do you want it? >> here, thank you. >> jimmy: is that where you wanted the pillow? or sit on it? by wait, are you aware that you're on the cover of one -- this is this month, by the way -- two. three. four. five magazines in one month. [ cheers and applause ] it's got to be a record, right? >> well, i don't know. yeah, that was one photo shoot, believe it on are not. >> jimmy: one photo shoot and you had to change into all those different outfits. then people in philadelphia might be on a trip to vegas and they'd go, hold on a minute, that's our outfit she's wearing! >> i look slightly constipated on that one. >> jimmy: which one is the constipated one? >> vegas.
[ laughter ] the buffets and whatnot. it's hard to get any exercise while you're there. slightly constipated in vegas. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but this i thought was very interesting. as far as magazines go. your brother -- >> right. >> jimmy: your brother's name is ben watts. >> yeah. >> jimmy: not that you don't know. and he is a photographer for, among other things, "sports illustrated" swimsuit issue. he took this -- that's your brother right there. he's beautiful, may i say. >> yeah he's got a tough gig, right? >> jimmy: yeah, really. that's pretty nice. >> he does a lot of the victoria's secret models. >> jimmy: oh, boy. >> shoots them, not does them -- [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> he wouldn't mind that reputation though. >> jimmy: he wouldn't be bothered by that. >> that would not be bad for him.
i think is a good way to put it. you were part of the hillary clinton e-mail -- i don't know if you want to call it a scandal or whatever it is. you know about this, i assume? >> no. >> jimmy: you don't? this is a real thing. this is an e-mail from joe wilson to hillary clinton. you can see at the bottom the subject, from hillary clinton, i met naomi watts last weekend and we talked about you and valerie and how amazing you both are. >> well. that's cool. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's cool? you might go to prison for this! that's pretty strange, isn't it? >> that is strange. >> jimmy: and that's true, she's not making that up? >> i did meet her. >> jimmy: you guys talked about valerie? >> yes. i made a movie about her, yes. >> jimmy: you played her, yeah. is that what you guys started talking about? >> yeah, it was a big deal. >> jimmy: yeah, i would think so.
that? or is that how she knew -- the entree? >> i've actually met her a couple of times. she's always very, very lovely to me. an impressive woman. >> jimmy: did you ever imagine like -- >> that she would write about me, no. >> jimmy: bup bup bup bup bup. >> definitely not, definitely not. acting? >> yes, that's right. that's when are i studied and did a few commercials. >> we happen to have -- this is a time-honored tradition on american talk shows, we dig up a commercial from your past and embarrass you with it. >> i've got quite a few. i can only imagine. >> jimmy: we only have one of them. but we'll find the others, don't worry. >> next time. >> jimmy: this is for tom's meats. do you remember tom's meats? >> yes, you. >> jimmy: is that a big meat company? >> no. it's the meat board, i believe. i don't know. it's a strange thing.
>> i think i was a vegetarian at the time. >> jimmy: so -- >> makes no sense. >> jimmy: wow. this is more scandalous than the clinton thing in a way. >> yeah. >> jimmy: let's take a look at this commercial from many years ago. >> hello. yes? >> tom cruise! >> oh, right, yeah. >> i hope you realize who tom cruise is. >> jimmy: that's funny. >> i didn't know tom at the time. >> jimmy: does tom even know about this, that this happened? >> he does. >> jimmy: he knows that he was mentioned in a commercial? >> yes. mentioned.
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the allegiant. that's what you're calling yourself. >> amity just doesn't seem appropriate anymore. >> what exactly are you allegiant to? the faction system? >> the factions kept chicago peaceful for a long time. >> i wouldn't know because i was forced out of my faction. i gave up my life, my child, everything. >> i understand your anger, evelyn, i do. but the way forward -- >> way forward has already begun. i know i said i'd be alone but -- i'm not tender and i'm not amity. so i will lie and i will fightfy have to. >> jimmy: that is name i don't mean naomi watts in the divergent series "allegiant." i feel octavia spencer was in the right and you were in the wrong. >> she's a better woman than i am in this movie. >> jimmy: tell bus your character in this movie. you've been in one of these movies already.
it's a fun ride. this is a moment where they're having their face-off. i play evelyn, who is theo james' mother. >> jimmy: how old is theo james? >> we don't need to get into that. >> jimmy: too old to be your son, right? >> yeah, i prefer to be mothers of 10-year-olds and 12-year-olds. >> jimmy: yes, yes. why not, yeah. makes more sense. maybe in this fantasy world, i don't know -- >> hollywood years, yeah. i don't know, he must have been on some special meds. i mean, no, really. i would have had him before my ovaries were fully formed, i think. >> jimmy: during the pre-ovary period, yeah. but that's science fiction. >> there you go. >> jimmy: you enjoy that genre? >> it is fun. it definitely is fun. there's all kinds of possibilities. >> jimmy: there is. you don't like that stuff in general, that's not your thing, i'm guessing?
>> science fiction? >> jimmy: you weren't a star trek nerd or anything? >> no, not really. >> jimmy: you weren't a nerd in any way. >> probably not. >> jimmy: yes. >> i liked the nerds. i liked hanging out with nerds. >> jimmy: you wouldn't have liked me. >> why? were you a mean nerd? >> jimmy: no, i wasn't a mean nerd. there are no mean nerds. >> they're all nice, that's right. >> jimmy: they're all picked upon, yes, in general. now it's kind of a cool thing to be a nerd. back then, no, not a cool thing to be a nerd no. home alone with your clarinet. i'm speaking generally, of course, not about myself. although i was indeed home alone with my clarinet. >> with your clarinet. i feel bad that you're ostracizing me from the nerdy team. >> jimmy: see, that's a real reverse -- >> i have a slice of nerd in me. >> jimmy: you have a slice of nerd? i don't know why i don't believe it. >> i do? what do you think i am? >> jimmy: i don't know. the opposite of a nerd.
>> like a cheerleader? >> jimmy: no, not a cheerleader. far above cheerleader. yes. like, i don't know, like kind of a -- you had to have been homecoming queen of your school. >> no way. no way. >> jimmy: you weren't? >> definitely not. >> jimmy: did you want to be? >> probably. i wanted to be all things. but i was -- >> jimmy: were you the quarterback? >> i was a late developer. no, i did play sports. >> jimmy: what sports did you play? >> hockey, field hockey. we didn't do ice. >> jimmy: okay, yeah. >> i mean, yeah. >> jimmy: you have no ice in that country, yeah. >> we did netball. which you probably have never heard of. >> jimmy: i've never heard of it. netball? >> yeah, like basketball but you don't bounce the ball. >> jimmy: are these made-up sports? >> no. real team sports. >> jimmy: so everyone in australia will laugh at me? >> are there any australians or english people in the audience? >> jimmy: there's a woman from scotland, yeah. you ever heard of netball?
>> jimmy: netball? so basketball? >> except you don't bounce it. you pass it. you can only take two steps. you can't run with the ball. >> yeah. >> jimmy: this woman's lied to this is not our first she works in a very drunken hospital. all right, well i'll take your word for it on that. the movie is called -- the divergent series "allegiant." opens march 25th. naomi watts. thank you, naomi. we'll be right back with john
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>> jimmy: very good to see you. >> good to see you. >> jimmy: i know this is a busy and exciting time. >> very exciting. >> your show's premiering this week. >> very exciting things are happening. >> jimmy: baby premiering next month, that's nice. >> yes. >> jimmy: your first baby. [ cheers and applause ] i imagine you're excited but are you nervous? >> i'm not nervous. because i don't know -- i don't really know. like i'm just going into it with my eyes open and my arms open and i'm ready. >> jimmy: that's the way to do it. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: everybody else seems to figure it out, so -- >> i figure people been having kids for a really long time. >> jimmy: many years. >> many, many years. >> jimmy: goes way back. >> it can't be that ridiculously hard. i know it's going to be challenging in its own way. but i figure we can figure it out. >> jimmy: have you been getting gifts and stuff already?
we told people at the baby shower to just give us books. because every brand sends us free strollers, free -- we're just going to give them to charity, there's so much stuff. >> jimmy: right. you've got to keep -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you do have to keep one of them. otherwise -- >> we do have to keep one of them, a car seat -- >> jimmy: there's a lot of stuff you need. i know you'll get a lot of free stuff -- >> are you an aficionado? >> jimmy: i have a baby at home, so yes, the house is full of supplies that -- i have two older kids, things that didn't exist. >> they didn't exist and they grew up just fine, your kids? >> jimmy: well -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, they made it out. they're still in diapers which is weird. but they're fine. yeah. >> yeah we got advice from a lot of recent parents. >> who did you get advice from? >> kim and kanye took us shopping. they took us to the store. >> jimmy: to buy what?
everything a mom would need at this time. >> jimmy: now when they took you shopping, who paid for it? >> i paid for it. >> jimmy: because kanye owes a lot of money. [ laughter ] i would feel guilty if i was you. >> yeah, let me get this. >> jimmy: they told you the things you need, that's interesting. >> nice of them. >> jimmy: where did you go shopping? >> it's a -- >> jimmy: target or something? >> i forget what it's called. >> jimmy: some baby shop? >> yes, somebody knows what it's called. >> jimmy: chrissy teigen, telling me about her mom who lives with you, mother-in-law. >> pepper. >> jimmy: her mom, she's a little bit nutty, yes? >> no -- >> jimmy: no? >> she's -- she has some superstitions. she grew up in a village in thailand. >> jimmy: right. >> she has her own customs. you know. >> jimmy: she told me she fills a -- correct me if i have this wrong -- a crab shell with rice
down the stairs once a month. >> chrissy swears her mom is making up these traditions. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but she gave us a necklace to wear, a fertility necklace to wear, as we were trying to have a baby for quite a while. it took us awhile to have it. she gave us a fertility necklace and we had a baby not long after that. >> jimmy: oh. >> but we had a lot of doctor help too, so -- >> jimmy: who was wearing the necklace? >> christie was wearing it. so either the necklace or the doctor or both worked. >> jimmy: something. whatever happened. >> whatever happened, it worked. >> jimmy: the baby is coming. is the house ready? >> no, not at all. >> jimmy: the house has to be ready. >> i know but it is not. our contractor told us it would be ready a few weeks before the baby. and you know how that goes. >> jimmy: tell your contractor the baby's going to live with him the first couple of months. >> yeah. it's going to happen. >> jimmy: he's going to have to figure out a way -- >> we're going to get your boy adam to come over and do the contractor. oh, yeah.
>> jimmy: yes, that's right. he will gladly come over and talk with your contractor. yeah. "catch a contractor," that's the name of the show. >> that's what it's called. >> no kidding. i saw "underground." >> it's incredible. >> jimmy: so good. >> yes. >> jimmy: very intense. >> yes. >> jimmy: but you have -- it's set to current music. >> yeah, well, the show is about the underground railroad. and these slaves that took this heroic journey to escape from slavery and head to the north. and the action has so much energy and urgency that we wanted the music to have it too. we tried to infuse some current music in there to make it feel we needed. >> it's so strange to see these scenes, we're familiar with familiar -- >> yes, wear used to the. we have that but also uptempo stuff. the song that starts the show is
driving beat with the breathing and the energy. a guy's running through the woods so it makes sense that's happening at the same time the music. >> jimmy: when i was watching i thought my computer -- i thought my itunes was playing. i was like, this can't -- what's going on? i was trying to figure out what was happening. >> it works if you give it a chance. >> jimmy: it works very well. it took me 10 seconds to figure out what the hell was going on. was that the original plan? >> that was always the plan. that was in the first script that i read, "black skinhead" would play at the opening from the show. >> jimmy: did you make that happen? >> i had to make a call. and it has to get cleared by all the writers. which is kanye and several other people. >> jimmy: then kanye calls those guys and says, this is for john, clear the damn thing. >> they get paid, you know. it's a transaction goes on. >> jimmy: i see. >> him approving it was still very generous. >> jimmy: your song became the most popular wedding song. >> a big wedding song. >> jimmy: which means you can never go to anyone's wedding ever again.
>> we get so many invitations. somehow people find out where we live. and they just send us random invitations. we never met them before. we get invited to a lot of weddings. >> jimmy: do you respond? >> no, no. >> jimmy: i always do. i get invited to weddings, i don't even have a song, i don't know why. i always respond that i'm not coming but i'd still like the meal. >> oh, so you'd pick chicken or fish? >> jimmy: chicken, it's usually chicken, fish or vegetarian. i always pick the meat. i ask them to mail it to me. >> and they overprepare and it's your fault. >> jimmy: that's what they get for inviting me, you know? >> that's what they get. well, our thing is i won't go to a wedding unless it's someone i'm so close to that i would have gone anyway. >> jimmy: i see. >> if i'm that close with them, i'll sing at their wedding. if i'm that close with them. >> jimmy: have you done that yet? yeah. >> jimmy: you have? >> my road manager hasan got married, i sang at his wedding. >> all right, that's a very --
ask lionel richie how that goes. >> luckily i work on weekends all the time so i have a ready-made excuse. >> jimmy: there you go. >> i have to work. >> jimmy: it's very good to see you, congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] john legend! "underground" premieres wednesday at 10pm on wgn america. and we'll return with music from eliot sumner.
ahh... yeah! ahh... ahh... ah. you probably say it a million times a day. ahh... ahh! ahh... ahh! but at cigna, we want to help everyone say it once a year. say "ahh". >>ahh... cigna medical plans cover one hundred percent of your in-network annual checkup. so america, let's go. know. ahh! and take control of your health. cigna. together, all the way. we asked a group of young people when they thought they should start saving for retirement. then we asked some older people when they actually did start saving. this gap between when we should start saving and when we actually do is one of the reasons why too many of us aren't prepared for retirement. just start as early as you can. it's going to pay off in the future.
we'll all be better prepared tomorrow. prudential. bring your challenges. 4w [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'd like to thank naomi watts, john legend and apologize to matt damon we ran out of time. "nightline" is next but first her album is called "information." here with the song "after dark," eliot sumner! [ cheers and applause ] after dark there's after light there's appetite for love laughter swells and after spells
so after dark we sail away we sail away tonight the after hour the after hour the opportunity awaits so stay now what if i stay now if i stay here i might lose again so stay now what if i stay now if i stay here i might lose a friend after life the after life i ease the mind with you i need the light the after light to see if you can bear another hour
[ cheers and applause ] this is "nightline." >> tonight, the $100 million sex tape lawsuit. >> whoever wants to see the size of your penis -- >> hulk hogan suing gawker for publishing this secretly recorded video. the former wrestler famous for his signature moves in the ring is taking on a new opponent. we are inside the courthouse as the legal battle begins. and from hollywood to the white house. the love story that defined the life of nancy reagan. she was a force in public and behind the scenes. would there have been a president reagan without his wife? >> doing everything we can. >> doing everything we can. >> tonight the decades of love letters that captured their unbreakable bond.