tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC April 13, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EDT
and that's the news for now. i'm shirleen allicot. >> and i'm bill ritter. thanks for watching. jimmy kimmel is next. eyewitness news returns tomorrow morning at 4:30. for all of us here, have a great night and we'll see you tomorrow. dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- the cast of "captain america: civil war,"
don cheadle, paul bettany, and emily vancamp, plus music from mayer hawthorne, with cleto and the cletones. and now -- oh, no -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks for coming. thanks for everything. you've joined us on what is a bittersweet night here in los angeles. after 20 years, kobe bryant tonight played his final game in
he suited up for the lakers for the very last time. kobe's officially retired from basketball. the rest of the team retired in november. [ laughter ] now kobe bryant is going to. for some reason all day today and yesterday too, everyone kept asking me if i was going to the game. and i said no. people are like, uh. like i was a loser. i could have gone, i mean -- you know. i wasn't invited to go. but i'm sure if i'd asked they would have said maybe. right now i'm feeling like a loser again. tickets for the game were very expensive. the average ticket price was a little bit more than $1,400 per seat. a pair of courtside seats went for $55,000. 80 bucks just to listen to the game on the radio in your car. really you had two choices. pay thousands to be a part of basketball history, or just lie and say you were there, for free. kobe merchandise is going for crazy sums of money. last week the lakers store started selling something called
edition items like this lamb skin leather kobe jacket. this would set you back $5,824. the 24 is kobe's number. go nuts and buy this leather cap which costs $38,024. who would spend that much on a hat? it doesn't even say "make [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm a big fan of kobe and the lakers but if you spend $40,000 on a hat, you shouldn't be allowed to have a head. the end of an era. as kobe bryant finally passes the torch. not the ball, though. that goes home with him. we have some superstars of a different variety with us tonight, from "captain america: civil war," don cheadle, emily vancamp, paul bettany, and robert downey jr. when we
i saw the movie, it's great. one of the highlights is a new spider-man. he's a teenager. . you're going to look it. last night they unveiled the title and logo for the new spider-man film, "spider-man homecoming." which is interesting. when i was in high school, spider-man is what i was reading instead of going to homecoming. it's come full circle. back in the world of mortals, the race for president of the united states, looks like it's going be rocky for the republican party. they could be headed for a contested convention and some prominent republican congressmen are saying they might not even go to the convention, which is in cleveland next summer. not because it might get crazy. they're saying they can't go because they have work to do. this summer. which these are congressmen. all of a sudden they've got work to do? maybe they just don't want to spend the weekend in cleveland. donald trump, however, will most certainly be there. even though he's publicly
republican national committee. trump held a rally in rome, new york, yesterday where in the midst of his ranting and raving managed to make an interesting observation about some of his supporters. >> you know, the other day i was asked on one of the networks, i was asked a very good question. nato. i know about nato but i'm not an expert in nato. but i have a lot of common sense like a lot of the people here. not all of you but a lot of you, right? >> jimmy: is that a backhanded compliment? or a fronthanded insult? the great thing about donald trump is he's mostly honest when he shouldn't be honest. but donald trump and his family were part of a cnn town hall last night in new york. he was joined by his children and wife malaria. and for me the biggest revelation from last night was, hot hell is this? she claims to be trump's daughter. she says her name is tiffany trump. how have we never seen her before? tiffany's mother is trump's
i looked her up, let's get to know her a little bit, shall we? as you see tiffany cares about world peace. she's patriotic. she's passionate about inflatable wildlife. and she's a sea captain. are we sure this is donald trump's daughter, not a fox news correspondent who wandered onstage? how is it possible ryan seacrest hasn't signed her up for a reality show yet? he's slipping. ever since "american idol" went away. we're not the only english-speaking country with a lot of nonsense going on in politics. this is from monday's session of the house of commons. a member of parliament confronted british prime minister david cameron about his finances in a very donald trump-y way. >> i didn't receive a proper answer then. maybe dodgy dave will answer it now. >> i invite order. i invite the gentleman to withdraw that adjective he used
>> i think he knows the word beginning with "d" and ending in "y" he inappropriately used. >> i still refer to him as dodgy dave. do what you like. >> jimmy: wow, wow. then he called him the f-word, which over there is fiddle-faddle. why does everything from england seem like a monty python sketch from 1986? bono from u2 spoke before a u.s. senate subcommittee yesterday where he suggested, this is true, the best way to top violent extremists is with comedy. he said laughing at these people takes their power away. he suggested we send comedians like chris rock, amy schumer, and sacha baron cohen to the middle east. which -- maybe we start with bill cosby and see how that works. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: back to the really
there are so many comic book movies now. i want to get a sense of how many people know the characters. we went on the street and asked people, we said, name as many avengers as you can. then we asked them, name as many presidents as you can. so which do you think -- well, let's find out. >> name as many avengers as you can. >> as many avengers? captain america. hawkeye. the hulk. iron man. black widow. >> name as many u.s. presidents as you can. >> oh. um -- let's see. obama, george washington -- hm. wow. >> name as many avengers as you can.
hulk -- black widow -- hawkeye, scarlet witch, quicksilver -- um, iron man -- uh -- i think that's it. is that it? okay. >> name as many u.s. presidents as you can. >> grover washington -- [ buzzer ] >> avengers? like chief of police beck? batman. robin. >> superman, batman -- >> avengers? >> i don't know. aren't they just all different colors? blue, pink? green, yellow? orange? >> dragnet. hawaii 5-0. >> name as many u.s. presidents as you can. >> forget it. i mean, i don't vote. i don't vote and i'm not
presidents? >> jackson. perot. >> when was perot president? >> you know, i really don't remember. i don't know. something like -- maybe the -- 870s? >> abe lincoln. thomas edison. >> thomas jefferson. franklin d. roosevelt. donald trump. >> name as many u.s. presidents as you can. >> washington, adams, jefferson, madison, monroe, adams, tyler, polk, taylor, fillmore, lincoln, johnson, grant, hayes, cleveland, mckinley, nixon, taft -- well, george washington -- yeah. that's it so far. >> you missed call lin coolidge. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: first rule of many presidents. when we come back, and we will,
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>> jimmy: hi there, welcome back. team iron man on the way. from time to time i dispatch my cousin sal out into the world to stir up trouble with hidden cameras cameras. one of the places we like to send him is cost co. here's cousin sal servicing customers at the customer service counter at costco. >> sal: hello. welcome to costco. >> thank you.
>> sal: you guys are returning, right? >> yes. >> jimmy: returning something? >> that's it. >> jimmy: good. >> sal: all right. i'm ready. >> okay. >> jimmy: chip, come here a second. how does this sound to you? dear linda, let me start by saying i'm sorry, i know we've been through some tough times but i really think we can make it work, i believe in us, i know you're with gary now but come on gary, he was my best friend, also he's all [ bleep ]ed up looking, this isn't about gary, it's about us, i think we should try to give it another go, i've changed, i'm not the man who would come home from work each night exhausted and disgusted by
deal with every day. >> stop. >> jimmy: sorry? >> i don't mind linda but why are we standing here all this time -- >> sal: i had to finish this letter. >> i've been here, and he's seen four people. can you do the letter when we're not standing here? is that asking so much? >> he's going through a really tough time right now, he's going through a divorce -- >> who is, you are with linda? >> sal: yeah. >> i'm sorry. >> sal: thank you, i'll be with you in a second. we both made mistakes. i should never have said your mother is so fat she's the same height when she lays down. that was wrong, but tech aally accurate. >> if that was my wife i'd say, let's have a drink, sit down, apologize face-to-face -- >> sal: the problem is my wife's having too many drinks with too many guys. i want to nip it in the bud. jump right in. >> finish, finish. >> sal: let me read the rest.
your big fat mom. i want to talk about us. good, right? >> i wouldn't say big fat mom. >> sal: she is. >> i don't care. it's rubbing it in. i apologize for bringing your mother into our -- >> sal: i shouldn't say that? >> i would apologize -- i wouldn't repeat big fat mom. >> sal: she is fat, takes two trips to get through a revolving door. >> just saying i apologize. >> sal: i apologize. >> if you poll don't apologize, you're nowhere. big fat mom -- >> sal: you're right. >> too much with the mom. >> sal: the mother is fat. the police stand by her standing on the street corner and say, break it up. >> i know. >> sal: remember when you visited me at work and we stayed after hours and made love on the returns counter? between you and me i never wiped it clean because it reminds me of us and what we had. if it were up to me i'd be making love to you on that counter right now. right here, right here where
that's where it went down. dammit, linda, i love you, p.s., if i can't have you back, can you at least return my x box 360? love, weinstein. what do you think? >> okay, just don't say big fat mama. >> sal: she's really fat. >> that's your hangup, not hers, she loves her mama. >> sal: she jumped up in the sky one time and got stuck. >> he's right, you shouldn't have -- if you want to -- if you don't want to insult her family -- >> sal: she works at the beach selling shade, that's how big this woman is. >> you're not married to mama. >> sal: you'd say it's all good, sex on the counter is great, just forget the mama stuff? really? okay, i am going to delete all the fat stuff. even though i think it's pretty funny. okay. great. i made the changes. you know what, i feel better. it's great that you helped me. and i feel refreshed.
>> have you got our card? >> sal: thank you. >> hey! weinstein! who's got our card? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: look at cousin sal and his new friends. thank you, guys. i hope the story gave you pleasure. still to come, team iron man, don cheed call, emily vancamp, paul bettany, and robert downey jr. on the way!
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with a revitalizing iced tea from dunkin' donuts. sip in a refreshing iced tea, iced green tea, or iced tea lemonade today. america runs on dunkin'. >> jimmy: hi, there, is the show back on? i was doodling. tonight, representing team iron man, don cheadle, paul bettany, and emily vancamp. [ cheers and applause ] then later, this is his new album it's called "man about town" mayer hawthorne from the samsung outdoor stage. tomorrow night marvel week continues with the mighty thor chris hemsworth from "broad city" the very funny abbi jacobson and ilana glazer will be here and we'll have music from anderson paak
so join us then. our first guest is two-time oscar-nominated actor, who plays one of the great characters in english literature his name is iron man and you can see him beating some of his best friends in "captain america: civil war." it opens in theaters may 6th. please welcome robert downey jr. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how's it going? good to see you, thanks for coming. >> thanks, jim. >> jimmy: i like that suit, you look very sharp, very handsome, very well done. do you pick the suits out yourself or is there a person that does this for you? >> i have a consummate team of professionals. >> jimmy: nice. >> this is etro. >> jimmy: what? >> etro.
>> jimmy: okay, like retro without the "r"? >> i've never heard of it? what are you sporting? >> jimmy: later on you'll look, go through my pants, see what i'm weerg. you had the premiere across the street last night. >> yes. >> jimmy: did it go well? >> i think this might do okay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's a really good one. i know they're all good. but this one's really, really, really good. >> yeah, it really turned out -- we did a bang-up job. >> jimmy: do you like watching yourself as iron man on screen? >> more and more every time. >> jimmy: you do? [ laughter ] each time it gets better. >> here's the problem. away. you get to see tony when he was really young. movie it's me. i kept saying, where's that young guy? >> jimmy: yeah, that was interesting. >> i think in the follow-up as 24. i was hot.
was pretty excited for sure. >> yeah. >> jimmy: so you're -- >> did you get revved up significant me? up. >> what's this about you and i and your pants? are you coming on me? i just got here. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, i usually wait until the second segment. show. >> jimmy: okay, good. who had better seats, you or >> did he show up? >> jimmy: not only that he told me he was bringing new england premiere. >> all's i know is chris evans is such a nervous nelly. he gets all -- you know, he plays a real butch guy in the movie. i love captain america. i hate to say it. i'm not supposed to say it. i love chris, i love captain america. for the premiere he's all nervous. we're supposed to drive in the audis, he's like, should you go first, should i go first? i'm like, man up respect we've got to go to this premiere together. >> jimmy: what is he worried about, do you know? >> i think we all get jazzed.
come out here. i think over time you get a little immune to it. then once this a while you realize, this is exciting. >> this is a big deal. i think last night hes. ed it was exciting. >> jimmy: he did seem excited about bringing patriots which is a funny thing to do. >> yeah, the patriots, whatever. >> jimmy: you didn't care at all. >> go steelers! >> jimmy: you had to convince chris to take the role of captain america? was that difficult to talk him into that? >> you know, this -- in hindsight i get to take credit for everything. there's no marvel universe without me, i did everything, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's true. you're indoctrinating people into a cult. >> yeah. >> jimmy: he's the one that said it. he made this up? >> i don't want to say he made it up. you think i just call people on the phone and say, you're going to do this movie. what am i? >> jimmy: i don't know what you're up to. >> you're right. >> jimmy: spider-man is in this movie. which i thought was -- >> he is.
it's exciting for the spider-man movie which iron man will be a part of. >> yes -- perhaps. we don't have a contract. >> jimmy: we don't have a contract. do you get paid for these? >> once in a while. >> jimmy: i didn't know that. >> yeah, yeah. you and i body grew up -- to me, spider-man, that was my number one. >> jimmy: me too, number one. >> that was my deal. >> jimmy: he was the funny superhero. >> funny, cool, he was young like us. >> jimmy: you could relate to spider-man. >> i didn't get bit by a radioactive spider. >> jimmy: i did and it was just the same experience. >> see? ? i was a young genius who was bit by a radioactive insect. spider-man is a kid. how old's the actor who plays spider-man? >> he's in his late teens. tom holland, he's a british actor, you've seen him in other stuff before. he is fantastic. >> jimmy: as an american, you're okay with a foreigner playing the role of spider-man? not really? [ laughter ] >> no, no. i like this tom holland guy. >> jimmy: you like him. >> i like him.
>> jimmy: i see. that's very big of you. >> yeah. >> jimmy: marisa tomei plays aunt may in the movie. >> she does. >> jimmy: aunt may is getting younger. it's like 16 and pregnant on mtv or something. aunt may was an old lady in the other movies. >> i know, marisa tomei, he's got a hot aunt. my god, think of the possibilities. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is it fair to say that you take being iron man very seriously? >> yes. well, i don't take myself too seriously. i take that character, tony stark, pretty seriously. >> jimmy: because you september me is it okay if i share that photograph? well, i guess it's okay. clearly she's made a choice. >> jimmy: she is definitely on team iron man. >> here's a shield, here's a gauntlet, it's up to you, and she naturally gravitated. >> jimmy: you've got an iron
>> she is something else. >> jimmy: we're almost the same age. is there any chance you would adopt me? i'd love to be a part of the downey jr. family. >> you know -- honestly, jimmy -- i watch your show. it's always weird. i'm here on your show but i like watch the show. >> jimmy: oh, thank you. >> imagine being me and then you're sitting here and all of a sudden you're the guest. it as little bit odd. >> jimmy: it is. will you be at home watching the show while you're on the show? >> you just asked me to adopt you, correct? >> jimmy: i did, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> okay. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we should say hi to you at home. >> hi, robert. >> jimmy: "captain america andre kirilenko civil war" opens may 6th. we'll bring them all out. team iron man is here. be right back with don cheadle, paul bettany and emily vancamp! if you had a dollar for every dollar car insurance companies say they'll save you by switching, you'd have like a ton of dollars. but how are they saving you those dollars?
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>> jimmy: that is "captain america: civil war" which opens may 6th. our next guests are team iron man all the way. please welcome war machine, vision and agent 13, or as their families call them -- don cheadle, paul bettany and emily vancamp. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you all for coming. first of all, emily, i want to start, i'm a little confused. are you team iron man or team captain america? >> interesting question.
>> jimmy: and you are wearing blue. >> but -- >> jimmy: the crips and the bloods. >> i mean, am i here to keep an eye on these fellows? or am i here to hang? i don't know. sharon kind of plays both sides a little bit. i think when you see the movie you'll see. >> jimmy: how do you feel about that? it seems convenient to say the least. >> well tial, i mean, you play a cia agent, by nature duplicitous. i don't understand why last night you had to come out on the cap side of the stage -- >> story about that. >> you don't seem sorry. >> jimmy: about you all see the movie for the first time last night? >> first time. >> first time last night. broke my virginity last night. >> jimmy: and? >> awesome. >> jimmy: you like it, there you go. it would be funny if you were like, meh. the audience was fired up. at the party afterward did you split into teams? or mingling with your enemies? >> i think i was the only one
>> yeah. >> basically just team cap. >> jimmy: you slept? >> i did sleep. it wasn't that crazy. >> jimmy: you started as jarvis, the virtual butler for iron man. then you migrated into vision. did you know that that was the plan all along? >> no, i didn't. there was two phases to this. one was the -- the first one was john favro said i need somebody to play a computer, somebody without any personality, and i thought of you. and i said, thanks. then the other one was, i'd just come out of a meeting with a producer who told me that my career was over in hollywood. and i was sitting on sunset boulevard having stood up to him but going, maybe, really -- and then josh weeden called and said, do you want to be the
[ cheers and applause ] >> i should add, if i had a dollar for every time somebody told me my career was over, my career could be over. >> jimmy: i see, all right. don, as war machine, when your helmet comes down -- >> i'm wesley snipes. when it comes down, wesley. up, don. >> jimmy: up, -- do you need to be there when the thing is down? >> that's a very good question. they keep having me be there. i'm like, why am i here? we'll bring that up in the next take. >> jimmy: the same with you. you can't see your face. i guess you're not in the costume? >> when the helmet closes, i'm getting shy yacht sue. shiatsu. >> jimmy: that was makeup, not some kind of latex on the face? >> yeah, it was -- he used to come in just to make -- if he was grumpy in the morning he'd stick his head inside my makeup trailer where i was in the third hour of makeup --
>> pretty intense. >> the hans too. >> jimmy: if you sweat do they have to redo the whole thing? >> sure, you can't go to the toilet, you can't sweat, you can't do any of that. they have this little thing -- >> easy. >> hey. right there. this little thing that's like a vest with radiator pumps cold water around you, like being inside a gin and tonic. >> jimmy: oh, really? [ laughter ] >> this is a nice thing. >> jimmy: an experience most people don't get to have. emily, were you happy that you didn't have to wear a costume or sad? >> you know -- in the atlanta heat i was pretty happy. i didn't want to know what goes on under those things. you know, you get a little something here and there and kind of like, i'm good in human clothes. >> jimmy: the movie is directed by joe and anthony russo, brothers. when you have two directors does it make it more difficult or is it easier? >> sometimes it's fun to pit them against each other. one will give one direction, and you go that's not what your brother said.
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right, questions, we'll see how much you know each other, about each other. >> i just met don and paul two days ago, so everybody knows. >> jimmy: is that true? >> full disclosure. we didn't work together. >> jimmy: at all? >> no. >> the presser. >> jimmy: all right. we'll start with a question about robert, then. what bands played live at robert's 50th birthday party? >> oh, man, i know this. >> jimmy: were any of you invited. >> yes, i was there. >> jimmy: oh. >> but my back went out and i left, remember? my back went out? >> whatever you say, don. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: your back went out and you went with it? >> depeche mode -- >> no. >> i guarantee none of us are going to get one of these right. >> duran duran. >> jimmy: correct.
>> and -- joe cooker? >> jimmy: joe cocor passed away. >> steely dan. >> jimmy: all right, okay. don was a cast member in a spinoff of what favorite sitcom? >> they'll never know this one. nobody in the audience knows this the one. >> jimmy: they don't work with you, they don't have to know. "the golden palace," a spinoff of "the golden girls." >> whoa. >> jimmy: yeah, you've got a golden girl on your team. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: which captain america costar has kissed paul's wife? >> oh! >> oh, i know. anthony mackie? there you go. >> what was i thinking? i directed him to kiss my wife. schoolboy error. >> you just blanked. >> you like that sort of stuff, huh? >> it's a hobby. >> jimmy: the movie, you must be absolutely delighted.
"captain america: civil war" in case i haven't mentioned. it opens may 6th. we'll be right back with team iron man after this! [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by harley davidson. all u.s. military and 1st responders can learn to ride for free with h-d riding academy at h-d.com/american heroes. [crowd booing] kobe, you suck!
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i'm bernie sanders and i approve this message. >> jimmy: we're back with the cast of "captain america: civil war." team iron man is here. as far as the script goes do you get to see the whole thing? you, did emily, you got the whole thing? >> am i the only one? >> jimmy: you're the only one that got -- >> i did. >> jimmy: really? is that true? is that for real? >> i didn't the first -- with the, "the winter soldier" i didn't. i just got the scenes that i was in. >> jimmy: you are more trustworthy than they are. >> apparently, yes. >> jimmy: chris evans told us and this is a strange story, robert says it is not exactly true, that robert convinced him over the telephone to take the part. >> all right, i did. >> jimmy: you did tell him to take the part? >> yeah, i don't like agree with
>> jimmy: have you been compensated by him? have you received anything in the way -- >> very good point, very good point. >> he got me a fountain pen set a couple of years ago. >> jimmy: those can be expensive actually sometimes. >> yeah, these were lousy. >> jimmy: did you take anything from the set? memento, any piece of your costume or anything like that? >> i didn't, no. >> jimmy: i would have stolen everything from the set. >> i just -- i would not be doing that with marvel. they know everything. >> jimmy: they have a strict inventory inventory? >> i'm sure they do. >> on "age of ultron" there's a massive avengers "a" outside the avengers center. i have it. >> jimmy: where is it? >> i said, why is this in england? send it back to l.a., i'll put it in my office. they're like, seriously? i said, yeah, i'll wait. >> jimmy: it's there? >> i have it! [ cheers and applause ]
like an exhibit? >> jimmy: pass it around. when you were young, i know this young man tom holland, do you him? >> look, i think whenever someone's coming in for their first time around you just -- comfort. if you're not talented or good, you're not going to be around much longer any-waive the fact that we're still here means we know what we're doing. mentors are important. >> jimmy: did you have one growing up? >> rodney dangerfield. he really showed me the ropes. >> was he really your mentor? >> no. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> depeche mode. >> jimmy: i was wondering what ropes he showed you. >> yeah, exactly. >> jimmy: this is the rope to my robe. >> yeah, as a matter of fact -- i have a rather shocking story about his mentorship. >> jimmy: go ahead, tell it. >> i went to visit him, we were doing "back to school." [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you.
i'm meeting the great rodney dangerfield. he opened the door, he is wearing a robe that was not fully looped. and i just -- these big old kiwi kiwis were hanging out. [ laughter ] >> oh, god. >> jimmy: do you have those in your office? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "captain america andre kirilenko civil war" opens in theaters may 6th. be right back with music from mayer hawthorne! [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel
>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i want to thank robert downey jr., don cheadle, paul bettany and emily vancamp and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next, but first his album is called "man about town" here with the song "love like that," mayer hawthorne.
deep inside that i want a love like that i want a love strong like a heart attack to fire me up i want a love like that i want a love strong like a heart attack to fire me up call me up real late at night when the sex isn't dynamite let's skip dessert that mini skirt yeah you know it's the one i like i wish you well you wish me worse i write you speeches that sound rehearsed i keep on reaching but in reverse
i want a love like that this is "nightline." >> tonight, real life in the gender trenches. we've all season the hollywood version. tonight inside the poignant journey of one person dying to make a change. amid painful politics. and the shadow of those controversial bathroom bills. >> the biggest risk is being