tv Late Night With Jimmy Fallon NBC June 5, 2012 12:35am-1:35am EDT
♪ just say you need it and if you need it say yeah say yeah ♪ ♪ ♪ we're gonna burn this damn place down down to the ground ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: def leppard! thank you, gentlemen. nice job. thank you, man. thank you, gentlemen. i want to thank my guests, marty short, aubrey plaza and, of course, def leppard. tomorrow night, emma stone. but "jimmy fallon" coming right up. jimmy! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
>> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
>> jimmy: hey, it's good to be back, you guys. hey, good to see you, higgs. good to see you, roots. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody! [ cheers and applause ] happy to be here. we have a great show tonight. [ cheers ] let's get to some news here, you guys. on friday, president obama spent the night at his home in chicago for the first time in over a year. it was nice. he even went down to the basement, dusted off some old campaign promises. he was like -- [ laughter ] "this one got me delaware." [ laughter ] that's right. obama spent the night at his home in chicago. of course, it got awkward when he left, and his housekeeper was like, "so, see you after the election?" [ laughter and applause ] "what i say? what i say?" everybody is talking about this here in new york. soda drinkers in new york are angry about a plan that would ban the sale of sodas larger than 16 ounces. yeah.
today, i saw a picket line that stretched six blocks. it made up of three people, but still, it was a -- [ laughter ] they were angry. they were angry, and they wouldn't -- [ applause ] [ laughter ] >> steve: that's a large drink. >> jimmy: that's a large drink, yeah. [ light laughter ] bendy straw. >> steve: bendy straw. [ laughter ] [ slurping noise ] [ fart ] >> jimmy: hey, listen to this, you guys. there are reports that u.s. intelligence officials used children's songs to torture suspected terrorists. [ light laughter ] which explains the one terrorist who was like -- [ in foreign accent ] "all right, all right. i'll tell you how to get to sesame street. [ laughter ] get off my jock, man. what is your problem? rubber ducky. he's the one that makes bath time so much fun, okay? i'll tell you who it was. [ laughter ] cool the -- cool the breeze, brother." [ light laughter ]
this is cool, you guys. [ laughter ] [ in foreign accent ] >> steve: "hey, man, it's the lady bug picnic, man. i know." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "c is for cookie. it's obvious 'c' is for cookie. what else would it be for?" >> steve: "okay, man. okay, jellyman kelly's coming over. i get it." [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: over the weekend, you guys, the u.k. celebrated queen elizabeth's diamond jubilee. [ cheers ] this is marking her 60th year on the throne. she spent 60 years on the throne just like my dad the first time he ate indian food. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: oh! >> jimmy: we're a little rusty. we're just getting back, you guys, all right? we're going to have a good time tonight. [ in foreign accent ] >> steve: "nann." >> jimmy: mahna mahna. do, do, do, do, do. mahna mahna. big deal. what are you trying to say?" do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do." [ light laughter ]
i saw that joe biden's daughter got married this weekend. isn't that nice? that's very nice. [ applause ] [ scattered applause ] that's right. she got married in a ceremony that incorporated some jewish traditions. of course, biden wouldn't wear the yarmulke till they propeller on top, which was -- [ light laughter ] you don't have to do that. here's some celebrity news. hugh hefner is back together with his fiancee, crystal harris, one year after she called off their wedding. well, it's like they say, "if you love something, let it go. if it comes back to you, they probably ran out of money and remembered you were a billionaire." [ laughter ] [ applause ] that's what they say. >> steve: an old adage. >> jimmy: i don't know what to make of this. this is true. a company in italy is now selling a special ice cream for dogs. yeah. this ice cream for dogs -- they got some interesting flavors. butternut. [ light laughter ] those are the two -- butt or nut. [ laughter ]
come on, you secretly like that one. >> steve: come on. come on. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that one you kinda like. >> steve: a kid could -- >> jimmy: yeah, they shouldn't. and you guys, finally, i heard that this weekend, seven monkeys were stolen from a zoo in poland. you know, so they could begin shooting season six of "jersey shore." [ audience ohs ] [ cheers and applause ] we have a great show tonight! give it up for the roots, you guys! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: very nice. hey guys, mark your calendars because this friday at 8:00 p.m. -- yeah, we're going primetime. i will be performing my very own "youtube presents" concert. >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: yeah. yeah. it's streaming live right here in studio 6b. i will be singing songs from my new comedy album, "blow your pants off." [ cheers and applause ] ♪
i'll be taking questions from you guys on twitter, so start tweeting questions in now @latenightjimmy with the hashtag, #askjimmy." and then, log on to youtube.com. you've heard of that website, right? >> steve: youtubes? >> jimmy: no, not plural. [ light laughter ] >> steve: what's that? >> jimmy: not plural. it's one tube. >> steve: one tube. oh yeah, onetube. >> jimmy: no, no, not onetube.com. youtube. >> steve: you -- >> jimmy: "y" -- >> steve: why? youtube. >> jimmy: no, "y." >> steve: "y." >> jimmy: "o." >> steve: "o." >> jimmy: "u." >> steve: "u." >> jimmy: tube. >> steve: tube. youtube. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: go to youtube.com friday, june 8th at 8:00 p.m. eastern time. [ cheers and applause ] it's gonna be fun, you guys. comes out next tuesday. we got a great show tonight. he's such a talented actor, great guy from the new movie, "moonrise kingdom." jason schwartzman is here this evening! [ cheers and applause ] he's a talented dude. also here from the hit show, "rizzoli and isles," angie harmon returns to "late night!" [ cheers and applause ]
we love angie harmon. and we've got music from the great regina spektor tonight! [ cheers and applause ] beautiful voice, talented. what a whole show. this is just an amazing show. hey guys, i'm just so happy to be here. there are a lot of things i love. i love the roots. i love -- [ cheers and applause ] i love doing this show. i love you guys. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. but you know what i heart the most? >> steve: what's that? >> jimmy: a good book. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: i know what you're thinking. you're thinking, "but mr. fallon, how do we avoid books that stink?" [ light laughter ] it's easy. i'm about to show you some books that you should avoid in the latest edition of my "do not read" list. here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ do not read do not read do not read these books these books ♪ >> jimmy: yeah. now, before we start, i just
want you all to know that every book that i'm about to show you is 100% real. these are actual books. you can see them on amazon -- the zon. >> steve: right. >> jimmy: or check them out at your local library. these are real books. all right, let's see what's on my "do not read" list. this first one is a cooking book. it's called "a cookbook." >> steve: hmm. >> jimmy: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> steve: a book about cooking. >> jimmy: mm-hmm. it's called "microwave cooking for one" by marie t. smith. [ laughter ] really? you're cooking for one? or 100? there's no way you're eating all that in one sitting. [ laughter ] and if you're only cooking for one, why microwave everything? what's the rush? >> steve: yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is cooking cutting into your staring into the distance time? [ light laughter ] want to hurry up so your cat can ignore you for an extra ten minutes? let's see what's inside here. it is probably going to be really, really delicious -- >> steve: what is it? >> jimmy: -- recipes. yeah, yeah. stuff like tracy's favorite seafood muffin. [ laughter ] >> steve: ooh. you got a seafood muffin one time, didn't you? >> jimmy: a microwaved seafood muffin. [ light laughter ] >> steve: nothing better than baking in the microwave. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah.
that's what i'm talking about, man. i wouldn't eat that if it was cooked regularly. [ laughter ] seafood muffin. let's go to our next book here. this is a children's book, i think. "white rabbits can't jump." [ laughter and applause ] this is -- got to be the strangest cover i've ever seen -- [ laughter ] -- in my life. why is o.j. simpson in this? >> steve: look how scared the rabbit looks. >> jimmy: and why does he have his arm -- look how scared the rabbit is. [ light laughter ] what is going on? some creepy dude in a white rabbit costume. maybe a -- tell you why -- down here. why is this book out here? this is from the television show by m.c. varley. this was a tv show? [ laughter ] never. for who? burned out stoners? [ light laughter ] let's look at the inside here. why's he wearing a blue
sweatshirt that says, "no pain, no gain"? [ laughter ] awful look on his face. look at -- let me read a little bit and see if we can't find out what's going on here. it says, "'i've never been so embarrassed in my life,' the white rabbit moaned to himself as he sat alone in the woods." okay, that's enough. [ laughter and applause ] "fifty shades of grey" had the same line in there. [ laughter ] hey, guys, next one's a science book. you guys science fans? >> steve: love it. [ scattered applause ] >> jimmy: here you go. "a look at uranus." [ laughter and applause ] by salvador -- by salvador tocci. [ laughter ] >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: by salvador tocci. [ light laughter ] >> steve: salvador tocci. >> jimmy: that is his name, yeah. >> steve: wrote a book about uranus. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: are you sure it was -- i don't know. i don't know if it was about me. are you sure? i think it's a book about uranus. [ light laughter ] >> steve: what's it called?
"i look at uranus"? >> jimmy: no, i -- [ laughter ] look. "a look at uranus" by salvador tocci. >> steve: tocci. tocci uranus, okay. [ laughter ] it says it in the card catalog. >> jimmy: in the card catalog. tocci uranus? this next one's about animals. "breeding stud sheep" by murray long. [ laughter ] that's a great book. you don't want your sheep being like -- [ in nerdy voice ] "oh, you want to go to the dance with me?" [ laughter ] people stop by your place, check out your sheep, you want them to be like, "whoa, man. you got a yard full of studs out there." [ laughter ] "of course i do, i only breed stud sheep." [ light laughter ] this next one seems a little racy. >> steve: ooh. spicy? >> jimmy: a little spicy. [ light laughter ] "love affair with a cougar." [ laughter ] by lyn hancock. [ light laughter ] i'm sorry to ruin it for you guys, but this is a love affair with an actual cougar. [ laughter ] >> steve: oh. yikes! [ applause ] you got me on that one.
>> jimmy: and you go, "how do you know it's a good book?" well, on the top, it says, "beloved author of 'there's a raccoon in my parka.'" [ laughter ] "there's a raccoon in my parka." lyn hancock. >> steve: she should stick to stud sheep. lyn hancock. >> jimmy: has hancock ever written a book about uranus? [ laughter ] >> steve: -- a lot of hancock near my anus. but once in college. once in college. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: hancock. she's good stuff, man. >> steve: lyn hancock. >> jimmy: yeah. [ cougar growl ] [ laughter ] audio chip in there, yeah. you open it up. [ cougar growl ] >> steve: ooh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, here you go. you guys, we're down to our last book. >> steve: oh, no. [ audience aws ] >> jimmy: someone's clapping, yeah. [ laughter ] it's an action novel here, you guys. it's called "the penetrator" by chet cunningham. [ laughter ]
>> steve: what? >> jimmy: i love this cover here. he is firing a load of bullets from his crotch. [ laughter ] and it says here, "the penetrator" right there, and yeah, this could not be less subtle. oh, wait, i was wrong. on the side -- "double penetrator." [ laughter ] that's the name of the book. -- jackie, manhattan. hi, jackie, manhattan. [ laughter ] that's all i have for this edition of my "do not read" list. if you have a book that you think could be on that list, i want to see it. send your title to our blog at firstname.lastname@example.org. we'll be right back with more "late night," everybody. thanks. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ this is just a little something to thank you.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is a talented actor. you know him from movies like "rushmore," "funny people," and "scott pilgrim versus the world." now, can you see him in the critically acclaimed new movie "moonrise kingdom." please welcome back to our show, jason schwartzman! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> there you go. there you go. hello.
there you go. there you go. >> jimmy: you just missed it, but tux performed earlier. [ light laughter ] >> wait, what? >> jimmy: the band tux is back together, touring. >> but they played when? what? >> jimmy: no, they just played for you. you missed -- you were out here. it said -- do you remember the band from -- >> yeah, but typically i thought musical guests performed after -- what? what are you -- >> jimmy: we switched things up. on our show, anything can happen. >> that's not right. >> jimmy: no, i know. i'm sorry you missed it. >> tux is not back together. they hate each -- those guys hate each other. they are up there with, like, you know -- >> jimmy: yeah, creedence clearwater. >> they're never going to get back together. these -- tux. >> jimmy: no, they're back together. we got them. they performed their hit song. [ laughter ] >> not "little pepper." >> jimmy: yeah, they did "little -- [ laughter ] i can't believe you missed it. yeah, they did "little pepper." they did it here. they're doing tonight. they're doing -- >> how was it? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: they looked like they were talking. they looked like the brothers -- they were talking. back stage, there were separate dressing rooms. >> really? >> jimmy: yeah. >> separate dressing rooms.
>> jimmy: separate dressing rooms, yeah. but they came out together and they looked great. their hair looked great. >> is it still tux? is it still tux? >> jimmy: yeah. i mean, it definitely -- >> that was -- a lot of you are too young maybe to remember this. but tux -- tux like that was that was the tux -- everybody wore the tux. >> jimmy: everyone was like, "dude, give me the tux." >> they wanted -- everybody wanted that tux hair cut and the tux face -- i don't know if you also realize, but that is not a beard, that's hair from the head. [ laughter ] that then grows on to the face like ivy, like ivy. >> jimmy: yeah. >> like growing up a wall. >> jimmy: if you put their heads upside down and put the sunglasses up, it's the same face. [ laughter ] >> it's the exact same face, yeah. and that, in fact, was one of their album covers. >> jimmy: that was one of their album covers, yeah. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: same face. >> same face. >> jimmy: yeah, same face. >> one word, sameface. >> jimmy: sameface. >> it was really weird. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and what were a couple of the other ones that were so good? >> jimmy: "tux-idermy" was one big album. >> oh, my god. >> jimmy: and both their heads were sticking out over the fireplace. just sticking out. and that was their heads. and that was great. they had great songs in that one. >> yeah, they had --
>> jimmy: "let's get a rug." >> "let's get a rug." yeah. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: "let's get a rug." >> was "tic-tux-toe" on that? >> jimmy: "tic-tux-toes" was on that. [ laughter ] that was a new one. that was like a psychadelia. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: they did some psychadelia there. and but it was -- anyways, they're back together and you missed the fun. >> well, only on your show. and uh -- >> jimmy: i'm bummed out. >> well, i'll -- i'm happy that you got to tell me that -- >> jimmy: yeah. well, you'll just have to see. i'll send you the dvd. congratulations, by the way, "moonrise kingdom" is getting great reviews. [ cheers and applause ] 95 percentile on rotten tomatoes. which people can go to that website and see which movie they want to see. this one's killing it in the reviews. you are great as always. teaming up with wes anderson. >> yes. >> jimmy: it opens at cannes film festival. >> yeah, it did. it was pretty wild. the cannes film festival -- i don't know if you've ever had a chance to go there for any -- >> jimmy: no. why? >> i don't -- i don't know. >> jimmy: "taxi" didn't make the cut, sorry. didn't make the cut for cannes film festival, no. [ laughter ] >> well, it's a -- it's a pretty wild place.
>> jimmy: is it just overwhelming? >> it's very overwhelming and it's sort of surreal. and our film was the premier movie. it kicked off the whole festival. and the night of the premier, it was such a trip. they shut down this main road that goes from the hotel that we were all put at to the giant cinema where it was playing. and you drive down this thing like in a motorcade and each car has, you know, someone from the movie in it. bruce willis, edward norton. bill murray. everyone's in the car and i'm in the back of, like, this motorcade. and i'm in a car, you know, by myself with my wife. and i'm looking at all these people waving like, "hello, we love you. we love you." to call the cars in front of us. [ laughter ] and i feel like people were sort of let down. like, people -- i didn't feel like they were -- they were kind of, like, bummed after each car passed. and i finally said to my wife, "i'm going to try to make these people happy because when am i ever going to be here again?" this is so crazy. so i just waved to people and they seemed to be so happy that
i thought, "you know what, i'm going to go for this and go -- kind of, maybe bring a little spring break to the cannes film festival. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did you come out of the sunroof? >> well, i -- they didn't have a sunroof but i did roll down the window. i was like, "i'm just going to go for it." and so i went out of the car -- of the window. [ laughter ] like, half my body was out. and i was like, "hello, i love you, cannes. you're my babies." you know -- >> jimmy: oh, my god. [ laughter ] >> but the -- and they were -- >> jimmy: -- screaming at them. >> i was like -- "ah, ah!" and they were -- i was like, "yes!" and then, the car stopped suddenly. [ laughter ] and i slammed into this thing, like half-way out of car. and it wasn't because we were stopped for the motorcade. it was because we actually arrived at the cinema. and my move was meant to be done in motion. >> jimmy: yeah, movement. >> i'm supposed to be passing people, waving. >> jimmy: hello, i love you! i will see you again, hopefully, one day! >> not frozen and just in front people like, in a stopped car, like -- [ shouts ] >> jimmy: oh, we're still here. we're still here. right. how's it going? >> people were like, "uh-oh, this is not good." >> jimmy: kind of lose the element of momentum there. >> it was so depressing and all these other people were like -- from the movie were like, "what is going on this guy?" and i came out and people were
asking if i was okay, if my hips were hurting. [ laughter ] >> but you know what? actually -- >> jimmy: they don't want to know what the movie is about. they just want to know if your hip is okay. >> do you mind if i just do one thing really quickly? >> jimmy: sure. >> it's -- i tell that story, which that's a true -- that's a very true story. you know, i believe in true, fun stories. but, i was talking to my -- my mother-in-law about coming on the show and was asking if any funny things have happened. those people who call, that i could talk about. she couldn't remember any, but she did say this thing that was a very nice thing to say. which was that, she said, "you know what? i feel like, sometimes, when you've been on the show, you are too self-deprecating, and are hard on yourself. and i want you to be confident because i want people to see the confident great you that is there." and i said to myself, "that's interesting." because i don't know, "a," if that person exists. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] >> and "b," you know -- but i thought -- you know what, i would like to just try that. and so i was wondering, if maybe for 30 seconds, i told the self-deprecating story. but i would like to actually try to be really just confident right now, something i don't do.
just be very, very happy right now. no self-deprecation, if i may. would that be all right? >> jimmy: i think we're open to that. [ cheers and applause ] we'd be open to -- how do we do this? how do we set this up? >> well, i'm not -- i don't really know. but hold on. >> jimmy: i'll ask you a question. >> hold on. let me just -- >> jimmy: okay, you're getting into character. oh, gross. gross, all ready. he's too confident, this guy. [ laughter ] i don't know if i like him. >> all right. jimmy. >> jimmy: yeah. >> good to see you. how are you? how are you? >> jimmy: everything's good, man. welcome to the show. >> ask me a question. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: confidence. confidence schwartzman, good to see you, buddy. >> yeah. >> jimmy: thanks for coming on the show. >> thank you. thank you. >> jimmy: how was your weekend, buddy? >> incredible. incredible. they're always -- they're always incredible. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is that right? yeah? >> yeah, oh, yeah. always great. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i had a great, great weekend a couple weekends ago. i get them all so confused because they're all awesome. >> jimmy: they're all great. yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> one that was really great was like, last week, i was a the gym training.
well, not really training, just maintaining. [ laughter ] maintaining is, like, when you've all ready reached your -- >> jimmy: how much more can you train? >> the best. you can't get better. i reached my goal. and you know -- it was a huge goal, but i met it. >> jimmy: wow. >> very quickly. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> and so here i am just maintaining and preparing. you never know when you have to be ready for marathon or something. >> jimmy: maintaining, yeah. >> i'm maintaining, yeah. and i was at the gym pumping -- bench pressing and texting. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: a one-handed bench press and texting. >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> is there another way to do it? >> jimmy: no, i don't know. i don't know. [ laughter ] >> anyways -- and then, i put down gatorade gel packs. [ laughter ] peyton manning's -- >> jimmy: those are absolutely gross! >> no. >> jimmy: not even -- gatorade gel packs. [ laughter ] >> yeah. [ laughter ] ha, ha, ha. funny. but i tell you -- [ laughter ] when you find yourself as electrolyted as i am -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: my god. >> it happens.
so anyway, i'm at the gym. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> and i'm training and everything for whatever. and i hear this scream, this voice. i look over. there's a woman in need. so i throw the hundred pounds, whatever it is. throw it. put down my phone. >> jimmy: yeah. place it under the table or something. >> i put it down. yeah, i have a table. i carry it. i have a table with me everywhere. it's small desk, whatever. [ laughter ] it is custom. and i go to help the girl. i lift it off. she's so beautiful. >> jimmy: hmm. >> she is -- in fact, i think she used to work for me. >> jimmy: gross. this guy is the grossest -- >> done, 40 seconds! >> jimmy: that was it! that was very confident. [ cheers and applause ] that was almost too confident. >> that was terrible. >> jimmy: you don't know -- >> that was terrible. >> jimmy: you had a gel pack. >> that was terrible. >> jimmy: you had a gel pack. that was not terrible. >> i hate myself. >> jimmy: after this, you go get a gel pack. >> i'm not confident. >> jimmy: you are confident. you guys, "moonrise kingdom," i should say, it's just gorgeous to look at besides being well acted and well written. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it's a beautiful movie. >> oh, oh, the movie. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yes. you can't be confident anymore.
you are self-deprecating again, remember? >> i can go in and out. >> jimmy: oh, my god. [ laughter ] that is the name of tux's last -- the live record. [ laughter ] "i can go in and out." [ laughter ] hey, guys, "moonrise kingdom." i want to show you a clip of this movie. >> yes. >> jimmy: "moonrise kingdom." here's jason schwartzman, check it out. i can't offer you a legally binding union. it won't hold up in the state, the county or, frankly, any court in the world because of your age, lack of a license, and failure to get parental consent. but the ritual does carry a very important moral weight within yourselves. you can't enter into this lightly. look into my eyes. do you love each other? >> yes. >> think about what i'm saying. are you sure you're ready for this? >> yes, we are. >> you're not listening to me. let me rephrase it. >> we're in a hurry. >> are you chewing -- spit out the gum, sister. in fact, everybody. i don't like the snappy attitude. most important decision you've made in your life. go over by the trampoline and talk it through before you give me another quick answer. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: over by the trampoline. "moonrise kingdom" is in select cities now and in theaters nationwide friday. jason schwartzman, everybody.
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has it's season three premier tomorrow night at 9:00 p.m. on tnt. please welcome back to the show our pal, angie harmon, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. you look gorgeous as always, angie harmon, welcome back. how are you? >> thank you. >> jimmy: why? >> little pepper? >> jimmy: oh come on. no, no, no. little pepper, ridiculous, please. pal, i wanted to say -- >> everyone -- no one can stop singing it. everyone's back there's stuck on it. >> jimmy: tux was a giant band. >> i remember them. >> jimmy: yeah, everyone does. >> i love them. >> jimmy: they were just on. i mean, that's why everyone remembers them. hey, i got to say, congrats to you, pal. >> thank you. >> jimmy: this is gigantic, outstanding female actress at the gracy awards, right there.
winner. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ angie harmon. that's huge. >> thank you. >> jimmy: that's an honor, that's great. congratulations. you deserve it. i saw you on twitter and there was a funny picture of you that you tweeted out. 'cause -- you threw your back out. >> yeah, i have a l-4 and a l-5 actually, right now, at this moment, they're not doing well. >> jimmy: so what are those? besides buttons on the keyboard? what is l-4, l-5? >> your disks, the lower ones. >> jimmy: the lower disks? >> yes, the lower disks. after third baby, i blow out the l4 l5 all the time. so we did it last week, and, you know, we shut down production. but i won a gracy. so i'm going to go. i'm going to get on that stage. >> jimmy: no matter what happens -- >> if i was decapitated. i would -- >> jimmy: come on, now, come on now. >> i would be there accepting that award. just wandering around looking for the mic. >> jimmy: wait so -- wait so here's the deal. so your back -- your l-4, l-5, your back is screwed up. >> yeah and like you can't move.
i mean, it is quite painful. >> jimmy: well, back problems are the worst. >> the worst. >> jimmy: back and neck problems, they just kill you. >> absolutely, they're terrible. >> jimmy: well, they're terrible because you -- no one really knows you're in pain unless you tell them. >> or the fact that you can't get off the floor. >> jimmy: yeah, well this is -- >> that is usually -- >> jimmy: well, this is you sitting in the car on the way to the awards. look how comfortable you are. there you go. [ laughter ] why? where you wearing -- what was going on here? >> but look. the dress is like -- it's couture, it's genius, by the way. but, look, it's like a corset. so i literally was just sucked in right here. or i couldn't move. i couldn't do anything. so i got out of my car like that. and i walked in and i went on stage and i accepted it. thank you so much and i cried and i went right back out and i got in my car and i left. [ light laughter ] and i didn't get to like hang with any of the women i really admire or look up to. nothing. i just left. >> so your speech was like -- [ in strained voice ] i want to thank my agent and my manager and -- yeah, you just had to do it. >> and you look like you have to go to the bathroom all the time, and you walk like you have to go the bathroom all the time and
you sound like you have to go to the bathroom all the time. >> jimmy: but you look gorgeous. you look gorgeous and congratulations on that. that's the big deal. >> thank you. >> jimmy: "rizzoli and isles" is a massive hit, pal. congratulations. this is huge. [ cheers and applause ] it's brilliant. 8 million people a week on tnt, you are here, right before it debuted. >> yes. >> jimmy: and we didn't know where. >> no. >> jimmy: you said before the show, you were going to retire in north carolina. >> i was retiring. i got half of it. i got to north carolina. >> jimmy: yeah, you got there but then the the show. >> and now the show is a huge hit thanks to all of you. and i'm so thrilled that you love it. [ cheers and applause ] it is amazing. >> jimmy: i see you all over the place. billboards everywhere. it's great. now last time we saw you guys was the cliff hanger. you shot isles's dad. >> yes. >> jimmy: now, you can't do that. >> you can -- yes, you can. >> jimmy: you can't shoot your partner's dad. >> he is the boss of the irish mob. he's like the kingpin. and he had a gun pointed at me and he shot a federal agent, who i happen to be sleeping with. and -- yes you can. >> jimmy: isn't television
>> jimmy: isn't television great isn't television awesome? and then how come -- somehow you have to be -- you got to be friends with isles again. >> yes. >> jimmy: how do you apologize for shooting her dad? >> she knows he deserved it. >> jimmy: oh, my god. >> she knows he does. no, but you know what, it is one cool thing about, you know, the show. there are many cool things about the show, but this is the one, you know, cool thing, if you have ever got in a fight with a person that you love or care about, you know, i mean, there are very traumatic things and, you know, they didn't sort of button it up in, like, one little episode. and now they are friends again! you know, i mean, they let it kind of ride out. >> jimmy: you shot her dad. >> right. >> jimmy: that's a major problem. it's not like you ate her bagel or something. calm down, you guys. >> thought you were going to say ate her baby. i thought that's where you were going. i was like, what, eww. >> jimmy: no, i can't -- no, no, no. it's not like you drank her coffee or something and then going, oh, sorry, was that your coffee? you shot her dead. >> what part of king of the irish mob is confusing? >> jimmy: well, that's part of the -- the fun of the show. >> and he was pointing his gun at me.
and he shot the guy i was sleeping with. >> jimmy: you can even lower your volume right now. we are doing sign language the whole time. angie, i want to show everybody a clip of "rizzoli and isles." it's on tnt. the season premiere is tomorrow night. here is a clip from it right here. >> why would you tell internal affairs that we had an intimate sexual relationship? >> how do you describe relationships with men you spend the night in your bed? >> i'll pull the car around. >> what were doing there? were you following me? >> i was following -- >> thinking it would lead to doyle. that's why you came back isn't it? you figured you show up with some greeting card cliche. follow my best friend around. nobody's going to ask me questions. no, jane it was not like that. >> yeah, it was like that. you thought you'd be the hero. don't look too heroic agent dean. >> don't just walk away. >> we just lost the cop. i got a case to work. ♪ >> jimmy: get lost buster. [ cheers and applause ] i got a case to work. i got a case to work, man.
hey -- now today, you know, we are going over the show and the segment, and i offered to play a nice little game with you. or something like that. >> you offered? a nice little game? >> yeah. i said, yeah. would you care -- play a game with me? and it n a british accent. dressed like a british school boy. [ british accent ] would you like to play a game with me? [ light laughter ] and you replied on twitter, unbelievable, and i don't want to be yelled at, it's from @angie_harmon. "really, jimmy fallon? you challenge me to beer pong? done, prepare to lose." [ cheers and applause ] are you ready to do this? are you ready to throw down? beer pong style? angie harmon and i, are playing beer pong after the break. stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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call the verizon center for customers with disabilities at 800-974-6006 tty/v. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, everybody, we are back with angie harmon. she stars in the hit show "rizzoli and isles," which kicks off a new season tomorrow night at 9:00 pm on tnt. angie and i are about to face off in a game of beer pong. yeah. the rules are simple, angie. [ scattered cheers ] i was showing the people i've beat and lost in the past.
i beat salma hayek. i beat betty white. i don't care. twice i beat her. [ laughter ] i don't care. but, here's the one thing, you're telling me that you were just at some tournament and they had all the names of different players in the golf tournament? and you -- >> you make me tell the story. >> jimmy: just say it. it's funny. >> okay, fine. all right. so one of these -- you know, i'd look up and there's jason and all of these other golfers and people and athletes. and one said "the 'is' man." and i looked at the horn and i was like, "who's the 'is' man? is this some new rapper that i haven't heard about? who is that." and jason just looked at me. he goes, "it's 'theismann.'" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the is man. joe theismann. all right, here we go. [ laughter ] the is man. all right, here's the deal. >> the is man. >> jimmy: the ball -- the ball -- can we book the is man for next week? i like his records. it's good. all right, here's the deal. we're going to take turns, one shot each. if the ball lands in your cup, you chug the beer. first to land two shots wins. please, ladies first. >> oh, okay. >> jimmy: good luck. ♪ [ laughter ]
>> [ bleep ] sorry. can we slap it out of the way? >> jimmy: yeah -- oh! wait! [ audience ohs ] does not count. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, really? really? the is man. ♪ >> i get to go again? house rules. >> jimmy: i go. house rules. >> okay. house rules, okay. ♪ >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. you don't want this. ♪ ♪ ♪ >> gosh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
look at her here. can you zoom in? how pretty. oh, my gosh. "what we saw from the cheap seats." she's here tonight to perform a song from it called, "don't leave me." please welcome back to the show regina spektor, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ down on bowery they lose their ball-eyes and their lip-mouths in the night ♪ ♪ and stumbling through the streets they say sir do you got a light ♪ ♪ and if you do then you're my friend and if you don't then you're my foe ♪ ♪ and if you are a deity of any sort then please don't go ♪ ♪ ne me quitte pas mon chere ne me quitte pas ♪ ♪ ne me quitte pas mon chere ne me quitte pas ♪ ♪ and down on lexington they're wearing new shoes stuck
to aging feet ♪ ♪ and close their eyes and open and not recognize the aging street ♪ ♪ and think about how things were right when they were young and veins were tight ♪ ♪ and if you are the ghost of christmas past then won't you stay the night ♪ ♪ ne me quitte pas mon chere ne me quitte pas ♪ ♪ ne me quitte pas mon chere ne me quitte pas ♪ ♪ ne me quitte pas mon chere ne me quitte pas ♪ ♪ ne me quitte pas mon chere ne me quitte pas ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪
♪ down in bronxy-bronx the kids go sledding down snow-covered slopes ♪ ♪ and frozen noses frozen toes the frozen city starts to glow ♪ ♪ and yes they know that it'll melt and yes they know new york will thaw ♪ ♪ but if you are a friend of any sort then play along and catch a cold ♪ ♪ ne me quitte pas mon chere ne me quitte pas ♪ ♪ ne me quitte pas mon chere ne me quitte pas ♪ ♪ ne me quitte pas mon chere ne me quitte pas ♪ ♪ ne me quitte pas mon chere ne me quitte pas ♪ ♪ i love paris in the rain i love paris in the rain i love i love in the rain ♪ ♪ i love paris in the rain i love paris in the rain