tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC August 11, 2014 11:34pm-12:37am EDT
musical guest, onerepublic, and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 105! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome, everyone! welcome to "the tonight show." thank you for being here. [ cheers and applause ] that's a great new york city crowd right there. thank you for being here. here's what everyone's talking about.
our pal, our friend, the former congressman anthony wiener is back in the news. i heard that he's opening a new restaurant that will specialize in healthy, local food. [ laughter ] people say the food is fine, but the portions look much bigger in the photo. [ laughter ] so anthony wiener is opening a a new restaurant. in fact, it's the first restaurant with a sign on the door that says, no shoes, no shirt, no pants, no underwear, no hats -- it's a long list. >> steve: wow! >> jimmy: a long list, yeah. >> steve: really. >> jimmy: that's right, it will specialize in local food. when people heard about that, they were like, "if i want local wiener, i'll stick to craigslist." [ laughter ] you're missing the point. >> steve: local food. >> jimmy: of course, any good restaurant has to have a good name. so we thought we'd help wiener think of one. here are some options. first there's p.f. wang's. [ laughter ] >> steve: always good. >> jimmy: that's not bad, right? >> steve: no. >> jimmy: i don't know if it's asian cuisine. >> steve: great name. you don't know what he serves.
>> jimmy: next we have t.m.i. fridays, which is good if like -- too much. [ laughter ] and, finally, there's always hardee's. [ cheers ] you don't even have to change the name on that one. he'll take it. don't have change the name. easy work. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: we're helping. we're trying to help. >> steve: we're trying to help them. >> jimmy: we're just trying to help them. >> steve: come on, it's local. >> jimmy: i saw that president obama kicked off his stay at martha's vineyard where he'll be on vacation for the next two weeks. you know what that means, it's time for "president obama, vacation obama." ♪ president obama vacation obama president obama vacation obama ♪ ♪ president president vacation vacation president vacation vacation vacation ♪ ♪ cowboy obama hard hat obama ba-robert deniro-bama ♪ ♪ barack o-baseball obama ♪ >> jimmy: there you go. [ cheers and applause ] the number one song in the country right now.
>> steve: is it really? >> jimmy: that's right. did you see this? last week the white house was briefly locked down after a a toddler squeezed through the fence on the north lawn. and this is really cute. this is real. the actual statement from the secret service. did you see this? they said, "we were going to wait until he learned to talk to question him. but in lieu of that he got a a time-out and was sent on his way with his parents." [ laughter ] that was really cute of them to do that. but anyway, today, the baby released its own statement. [ laughter ] >> steve: really? >> jimmy: it said, "it's this type of dismissal of the american people that have soured obama's presidency like a bottle of milk that got left out overnight. while i may have approached speaking with the president in the wrong way, i believe deep down in my diaper, that we cannot get this country back on track until obama stops playing golf and starts playing a a stirring game pattycake with world leaders." [ cheers and applause ] some sports news over the weekend. the angels beat the red sox in
the longest major league -- [ audience boos ] well, it happened. there's nothing i can -- i can't turn back time. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: i'm not cher. >> steve: it's a joke. he's going to make a joke. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so yeah. >> steve: gosh. >> jimmy: sorry about that. so angels beat the red sox -- [ audience boos ] -- in the longest major league game of the year, playing 19 innings. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: you can tell the game went way too long because the vendors were like, "get your lukewarm beer over here! ice cold hot dogs! ice cold hot dogs!" [ laughter ] the game was so long even ken burns was like, "this is just too much baseball." [ laughter ] the game was so long there was a 7th inning stretch, a a 14th inning yawn and an 18th inning 'f' this. i mean, it was really long. [ laughter ] long game. >> steve: that's a long game. >> jimmy: it's a long game. i saw that new jersey governor chris christie -- that's our pal -- he's gonna travel to mexico next month to meet with the country's new president. yep. supporters hope that meeting with foreign leaders will make christie look good. but then, have you seen the mexican president?
can we see him? i mean -- [ laughter ] maybe pick a different dude next time. nobody looks good next to that guy. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: he makes brad pitt look like frankenstein, that guy. pick a different person. >> steve: go to north korea. >> jimmy: that's true. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] that's true. some more political news. in a new interview hillary clinton criticized president obama, who's been using the phrase "don't do stupid stuff" to describe his foreign policy doctrine. she said the phrase lacks depth. but in the white house's defense it's a much better slogan than the other one that they were considering. there was "bad things, they're not good so don't do 'em. wait, what?" [ laughter ] and then there was "if the country starts with a letter 'r' or 'n', it's bad." wait, no. that's too simple, that one. >> steve: yeah. and finally, there was "w.w.b.d.d.t.o. what would biden do? do the opposite." [ laughter ] i can see why they didn't go
with those ones and they went with the one they have now. [ cheers and applause ] this is cool. i saw that tv land just launched a new version of the classic show "candid camera." or as most young people put it, "i can't believe they ripped off 'punk'd.'" [ laughter ] and finally, things are getting out of control in times square. they really are. it's just nuts. just this weekend police just arrested two guys dressed like iron man, one guy dressed like elmo and another guy dressed like spiderman for disorderly conduct. the parents in times square are like, "you know what? just bring back the hookers. they were so much easier -- so much easier to deal with." [ cheers and applause ] we have a great show, you guys. give it up for the roots. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hey, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] welcome to the show, everybody. we have a fun one. you know, tomorrow night, we're
going to be premiering our latest "tonight show" digital original. you know, sometimes we spoof some of our favorite shows. we've done "game of thrones." we've done "breaking bad." >> steve: yep. >> jimmy: you were great in that. >> steve: you were, too. you were even better than me. >> jimmy: thank you. you're a good-looking dude. >> steve: well not as attractive as you. >> jimmy: you smell nice, too. [ laughter ] new cologne? >> steve: not as nice as you. [ laughter ] >> steve: that new cologne you got is sweeping the nation. >> jimmy: exactly, yeah. so we do those things and we're doing one that's premiering tomorrow. it's very good. it's our newest original. check this out. "house of cue cards." [ laughter ] this is happening. it's gonna air during tomorrow night's show. during our program. and it's really funny. it's got a lot of celebrity cameo surprises. >> steve: ooh, intriguing. >> jimmy: so that will be tomorrow night. so set your dvr. [ laughter ] is that what you do? you don't do that anymore do you? >> steve: do you? i set my betamax machine. i have it on a timer. >> jimmy: my dad still has a
a vcr, so he'll set the vcr. >> steve: will he really? >> jimmy: yeah. he tapes everything. i don't even know where he gets tapes. [ laughter ] i think he's using the same tapes from the '80s. he taped over all the shows, yeah. >> steve: this is "beauty and the beast." >> jimmy: guys, it's monday, and we're excited to be back. we've got a big week of shows coming up. jessica alba and taylor swift will be here. [ cheers and applause ] swifty! >> steve: swifty! >> jimmy: taylor swift and i have something special planned for wednesday. it's a good, fun thing. it's going to be good. and then, later this week, sylvester stallone. oh, my gosh. [ cheers and applause ] i can't wait to meet that guy. he's one of my all-time favorites. >> steve: he's a delight. and he's very nice. >> jimmy: and he writes all these movies. did you know that? >> steve: he does. he wrote "rocky." he wrote everything. >> jimmy: did he get nominated for an academy award for writing? >> steve: i think he did for writing -- >> jimmy: for writing "rocky." yeah, that's unbelievable. jason statham will be here. he's a tough guy. [ cheers and applause ] and my pal, my bff demi lovato will be here this week.
[ cheers and applause ] plus, performances of kings of leon and ryan adams is going to happen. >> steve: come on! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: but first, we have a a fantastic show tonight. i'm so looking forward to this show. she's a great actress from the cool new movie, "the giver." it's out this friday. katie holmes is here! [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: katie holmes! >> jimmy: that's our pal! >> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: she's so fun. we're going to play a new game with her. it's pretty weird, but it's gonna be fun. also, we love this guy. he's the host of "@midnight." he's the host of a bunch of things. >> steve: he's the host of about a thousand shows. >> jimmy: "talking dead." >> jimmy: "staying alive." >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: anyways, "@midnight" is his show that's on comedy central and he's a buddy of ours. chris hardwick is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: what a gentleman. >> jimmy: talented guy, too. >> steve: lovely man. >> jimmy: did you know he was in "rock of ages" in l.a.? >> steve: who was? >> jimmy: chris hardwick. >> steve: are you serious? >> jimmy: like, he can sing. he really raged. >> steve: he rocks, as well? >> jimmy: he rocks and rolls.
>> steve: are you serious? >> jimmy: he does both. >> steve: i mostly roll. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, no particular order. you can roll and rock. have a cold rolling rock. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: but we have great music. oh man, everyone is excited about these guys. onerepublic is here. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: they're really -- they're a bunch of talented animals. [ laughter ] when they get together they sound like humans. >> steve: oh my gosh. you got the cougar. you got the bison. >> jimmy: you got to get the owl in there. >> steve: hoo! who? >> jimmy: who? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: onerepublic. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: want to hear it? here's a jam they're going to do tonight. let's check out a little taste of this. ♪ i got my mind made up and i can't let go i'm killing every second 'til it saves my soul ♪ ♪ i'll be running i'll be running 'til the love runs out 'til the -- ♪ >> jimmy: that's it. that's all you get. stop it! wait until they come out to
clap. [ laughter ] i shouldn't get that mad at the audience. i'm sorry. i apologize. onerepublic will be here. all the animals will be out here. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: did you watch the golf over the weekend? did you see it at all? >> steve: uh, yes? >> jimmy: you did not. >> steve: i love it. >> jimmy: it was unbelievable. i've got to say congratulations to rory mcilroy for winning the pga championship. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: again! >> jimmy: unbelievable. it's great. >> steve: crazy. >> jimmy: it was getting dark out. because they had a rain delay, so it started late. so it was actually -- the sun was setting. it was getting dark, and they finished in the dark. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: it was really, really exciting. it was fun. but it was the final major of the year. and so in addition to giving out the standard prize, money to the golfers, they also gave out a few other awards, sort of like ones in high school yearbooks. like "most likely to succeed," "class clown," stuff like that. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: so, with that in mind, it's time for "tonight show" superlatives. here we go.
♪ tonight show superlatives ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: first up is angel cabrera. he's a long-time pro golfer. he was voted "most likely to have swiftly walked to the bathroom immediately after this photo was taken." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: could we get you for a quick photo? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. hurry up. >> steve: it'll just take a a second. one second. i got to get -- >> jimmy: did you take the photo? >> steve: no, my camera's not ready. wait a second. >> jimmy: oh, man, you got to be kidding me. >> steve: hold still. hold still. don't move. don't move. wait a sec, and -- i don't got it. i don't got it. >> jimmy: all right. all right. we're done, right? we're good? all right. very good. all right. [ laughter ] shouldn't have had that 23rd buffalo wing. >> steve: i'm going to the 19th hole. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: next up we have miguel a. jimenez. he was voted "hardest rocking biden." that's interesting. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: i didn't even know
that was an award! >> jimmy: next we have victor dubuisson. he was voted "most likely to be the love child of a high david spade and a drunk brad pitt." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: wow! >> jimmy: next up is pga champion rory mcilroy. he was voted "most likely to be in a golf boy band called hole-in-one direction." >> steve: yeah. yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: it's a good idea. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: congratulations. >> steve: he looks like harry. >> jimmy: next we have chesson hadley. he was voted "most likely to see one of those giant wind sock guys and say, 'dad?'" [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: dad! dad! >> jimmy: i can't believe i found you. >> steve: oh, my gosh, you're green! [ laughter ] he works at a used car dealership. >> jimmy: next up is rickie fowler. he was voted "metrosexual ernie." [ laughter ] >> steve: that's a great award. that comes with a ribbon.
hey, bert! how's it going, bert? >> jimmy: want to hit up abercrombie? next we have brendon de jonge. he was voted "most likely to be the love child of satan and an egg." [ laughter ] >> steve: now that's weird. >> jimmy: that's an odd category. >> steve: that's an odd category. >> jimmy: pga, i don't know what they're doing this year. >> steve: yeah, why would you do that? i don't think an egg and satan can breed. apparently they could. >> jimmy: they can. next up is chris kirk, who was voted "most likely to say 'enjoy your stay. they all do' when handing over your hotel room key." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: hey, can i look in your freezer? >> jimmy: there's nothing in the freezer. ♪ want an early checkout? [ laughter ] next up, kevin stadler. he was voted "most likely to wiggle his fingers and say 'don't mind if i do' when he sees a doughnut." [ laughter and applause ] >> both: i don't mind if i do! boston cream?
[ laughter ] >> jimmy: is anyone going to eat this last cruller? [ laughter ] don't mind if i don't. >> steve: would you like a a piece of pie? he cuts the one piece, takes the rest of the pie. >> jimmy: next up is jason kokrak. he was voted "most likely to have a mustache made of teeth." that's very interesting. >> steve: what? what? >> jimmy: that's impossible. >> steve: his name was jason coatrack? >> jimmy: his tooth-stache. >> steve: his tooth-stache. [ laughter ] he's got a tooth-stache. >> jimmy: and finally, we have tiger woods. he was voted "most likely to lose to jimmy fallon at his own video game." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] there's the footage right there and -- yeah, baby! [ cheers and applause ] he was not happy. >> steve: you are a gracious winner. >> jimmy: i'm a gracious winner. >> steve: you are a gracious winner. >> jimmy: there you go, guys. those are your pga superlatives. stick around.
we'll be right back with katie holmes, everybody. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ man ] cortana, when my wife calls remind me to tell her happy anniversary. [ cortana ] next time you talk to caroline, i'll remind you. [ siri ] oh no, i cannot do that. oh, and remind me to get roses when i'm near any flower shop. sure thing. remind you when you get to flower shop. i can't do that either. cortana, it's gonna be a great night. [ beep ] oh wow! thanks for the traffic alert. i better get going. now that is a smart phone. ♪ oh, wait ♪ it's 'cause you make me smile ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is a a beautiful and talented actress who stars in the new film, "the giver," which is in theaters everywhere on friday. "the giver." ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, katie holmes. ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you look gorgeous. >> thank you. i always start laughing. >> jimmy: i know. you always -- every time you see my face, you laugh at me. >> i know. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's not a good thing. well, i guess it's a good thing if you're a comedian. >> no, no, no. because you make me -- because you make me laugh. >> jimmy: oh, thank you. well, i always smile when i see you, too. look at you on the cover of "glamour." ooh, la la. tres bonne. [ cheers and applause ] [ in a french accent ] beautiful in "glamour." how has your summer been?
has everything been going well? >> summer's been great. >> jimmy: anything good? i saw your parents are backstage. are they hanging with you? >> they are because we're here for the premiere tonight. >> jimmy: aw, do they go to all of your premieres? >> yeah. >> jimmy: aw, that's so cute. >> i know. >> jimmy: i love your parents. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it was nice meeting them. where are they from? where are you from? >> i'm from toledo, ohio. >> jimmy: so, they're -- do they still live there? >> they do. >> jimmy: and we -- i was talking to them backstage and they said -- your mom said she sends you care packages still. >> she does. >> jimmy: she sends you care packages? [ light laughter ] >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: what -- what would be in one if i opened one of your care packages? >> well, um -- usually, some, sometimes still some pop tarts, which are my favorite. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: pop tarts? >> yes. and then, she finds really beautiful dishes because i love dishes. i do. i like to collect them. i love them. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> i do. >> jimmy: they're just single plates? >> yes. >> jimmy: okay. [ laughter ] >> and like, cups, like sets of things. >> jimmy: yeah, and then what do you do with them? >> well -- >> jimmy: is it like a tea party? do you use them? i mean --
>> i do -- i like a tea party. i do. >> jimmy: do you just hang them up? oh, you do use them? >> i like -- i do. >> jimmy: you do have tea parties? i would love to come up. i'll come to a tea party. >> okay, yeah. >> jimmy: i'll bring the baby, yeah. i'd love to come. >> yeah, bring the baby. >> jimmy: yeah. my sister -- my parents tried to make my sister collect dishes. but my sister -- it's like, you can't force a kid to collect stuff. [ laughter ] >> oh, yeah, you can't. >> jimmy: but my parents did that with me. they made me collect baseball a hobby, you guys. [ laughter ] >> right, right. >> jimmy: like, we were really bor it'd be like, do something. so, my sister, ever my sister would open up and it'd be, like, a "gone with the wind" plate. remember those things that you could buy in like "tv for like 20 bucks? >> yeah. >> jimmy: my dad was like, "it's going to go up in value." [ laughter ] >> but you have to keep the box. >> jimmy: it was $19.99. now, it's $22 and it was bought 20 ye absolutely. oh, well next time, i -- maybe your mom can send me a care -- >> i was gonna suggest that. >> jimmy: she will, yeah? >> yes, she will. she will. >> jimmy: all right, good. they're really, really cute. >> they're good. >> jimmy: they were talking about how they're so proud of your career. you start modeling at -- you wer you were 10? >> well, no. i mean, no, no, no. i didn't start m
i went to a modeling school. >> jimmy: what kind of 10-year-old -- what do you learn at the modeling school? >> no, i went with my sister who is like, five years older, so it was like -- she was the right age and i kind of went along because i'm the baby. >> jimmy: oh. and what did you learn there? like, what did they teach you? >> well, when you're that little, i mean, i learned how to walk. and, uh -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: late bloomer. yeah, yeah, yeah. 10-years-old, yeah. i think katie is going to start walking this year. >> yeah, we're gonna fix that a a little. [ laughter ] and then they kind of -- it was -- they were trying to teach you about beauty and i was kind of bored. but they took -- they took me as an example and they dissected my face. and said like, "see, not perfect. her eyes are too far apart. her nose isn't perfect." >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> "her lips aren't perfect. but, all together, it's not so bad." [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: and this was when you were a 10-year-old? >> yeah, but i didn't care. i was like, i know. i mean -- >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. there's no way. they're so wrong! >> well -- >> jimmy: i mean, look at this. this is -- this is -- really? [ cheers and applause ] this is katie holmes, movie star katie holmes. modeling school, you dopes. [ laughter ] "the giver" comes out this week. congratulations on this.
>> thank you. >> jimmy: this is a big movie. jeff bridges, meryl streep also in it. it's just a giant movie. and then you have another movie out, too. >> "miss meadows." >> jimmy: "miss meadows." >> which comes out in november. and i play a substitute schoolteacher who carries a a pistol in her purse and she -- >> jimmy: wait, what? >> she carries a pistol in her purse and wears gloves. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and she is a vigilante, so she shoots people that harm kids or harm her, or try to harm her. >> jimmy: okay, don't mess with her at all. okay, no, i'm not going to miss that. >> don't mess with her. >> jimmy: "the giver" though is not as a -- it's still -- it's kind of a tricky way to describe this. it's like a -- >> yeah, it's like an alternate reality of this society where everything is, um -- planned and predicted and there's no emotion. the children go right to the parents. you don't actually give birth. and so, there's no real love or anything like that. but everything is safe and everyone has food.
and so, there's protection. >> jimmy: and there's one guy who actually has memories and has stories and he is the giver. and what he -- well, this is jeff bridges -- and he gives his memories and stories to -- he has to pass it onto a a generation, to your son in the movie. but it's beautifully shot. >> yeah, the d.p. was amazing. >> jimmy: i mean, just gorgeous. >> ross emery. >> jimmy: ross emery. it's just -- the color pops and you go, "this movie couldn't have been made five years." i mean, the technology didn't exist, so it's really, really cool. good story. great acting. i want to show a clip. here's katie holmes in "the giver." take a look. >> i can tell why you've been acting this way. your levels are extremely low. i can correct this and then we will address what's happened. >> i know that there's something more. >> fiona. >> something missing from our lives. no, not missing. something that has been stolen from me and from you. i don't know what it is exactly.
but jonas does. >> jimmy: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] yeah, little mysterious. this is fun. i love it. katie, i have a new idea for a a new game, a fun game that i think you'll be great at and you can use some of your modeling techniques in this game. >> okay. >> jimmy: it's called photobooth. all right? katie holmes and i are playing a new game when we get back. it's really fun! come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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>> jimmy: welcome back. we're hanging out with my pal katie holmes, right here! [ cheers and applause ] and i was admiring your beautiful bracelet, diamond bracelet. and you said that you're daughter dressed you, and made you -- let you wear that beautiful -- and where did you pick that up? >> this is from claire's. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's real beautiful. from claire's! there you go. [ applause ] good job, suri. katie and i are going to try out a brand new game called "tonight show photo booth." here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ photo booth, photo booth photo booth, yeah ♪ >> jimmy: here we go. all right. so, there's this great app on the ipad called photo booth -- if you have an ipad -- where you can take weird photos of yourself. >> are they going to do this at the same time at home? >> jimmy: they can, sure. all right, yeah. do it at home, and send them in. see if you can match our faces. what we're going to do is we're going take turns making ourselves look as weird as
possible. then, see if the other person can match it. okay? for the first set, do stretch. >> both of us? >> jimmy: you go first. and then, i'll try to match your face. >> oh god. okay. [ laughs ] >> jimmy: did you do it? all right, let me see. let me see. >> it's so bad. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: what? >> it's so bad. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh my god. all right. okay. >> i think i could get, you know, like mr. munster. >> jimmy: yeah, you could do that. all right. so i got to do that. so stretch. i got to try to match that. there's a lot of forehead. [ laughter ] all right, ready? let's see if they're related. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] now, i'm going to do one. >> hey, they have tea parties. >> jimmy: yeah, they, they're friends. all right. now, we're going to do squeeze
as the effect. >> squeeze? >> jimmy: squeeze. all right. ooh, god. [ laughter ] all right. i think i got one. >> oh. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: i look like a weird conan o'brien, don't i? i got to send this to conan. >> oh, my god. >> jimmy: is there any way you can -- >> okay, that's squeeze? >> jimmy: yeah. [ light laughter ] wait, let me see it. >> it's so weird. it's so weird. >> jimmy: it's very weird. [ laughter ] hello!
[ laughter ] hey! >> oh, my gosh. >> jimmy: all right. now this next one, let's just do the effect, then we'll just -- i won't look at you. you won't like at mine. >> okay, which one are we doing? >> jimmy: okay, we are going to do -- >> twirl? >> jimmy: yes. let's do twirl. >> oh wow, yeah. >> jimmy: twirl and then -- don't look, and then we'll see if our faces look like we're matching. [ laughter ] okay, i got mine. >> i got two. >> jimmy: you only have two? [ laughter ] all right, here's mine. >> oh, this is it. okay. [ laughter ] that's mine. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i love that one. they're funny. they're funny as well. you are the coolest and most fun. katie holmes, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] you've got to delete those. yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: the "giver" is in theaters this friday. chris hardwick joins us next. those are the best photos ever. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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our next guest hosts a a popular new show on comedy central called "@midnight." he's also the ceo of nerdist industries. he's a very funny, hardworking guy. please welcome, a friend of the show, here's chris hardwick! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: chris hardwick! you're a good, good man. >> dude, this is my first time doing "the tonight show." i'm very excited about it. >> jimmy: welcome. >> i've never done "the tonight show" before. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well deserved. >> thank you. >> jimmy: well deserved. i got to say you -- thank you for being here, but oh my gosh, congrats on all your success. >> thank you. >> jimmy: all the shows. you -- "@midnight" is fantastic. >> yes. >> jimmy: it's -- i've never seen a show like it. >> well, thank you very much. it's on comedy central, and
uhh -- and i think i can announce this now, if it's okay, but -- >> jimmy: please. >> our show was new this year, and we just got picked up for all of 2015. so we're going to be on for a a long time. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ we should um -- we should do crossover act because i think -- >> jimmy: i'll do a crossover act. >> yeah, we should do a a crossover act. >> jimmy: let's totally do it. >> do you want to do it? okay. >> jimmy: what time is "@midnight"? >> it's on at midnight. so probably, like, right now. umm, yeah. >> jimmy: so right now you can go to -- you can. i mean you don't have to. you can watch me here or on the other channel. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but we could do a a crossover thing. >> we could totally do a a crossover, yeah. >> jimmy: where it's like maybe you say a word and i'll say a a word and you'll say a word, so -- >> that would be amazing. >> jimmy: right, we'll have a a sentence. >> just like -- there'd be stoners at four o'clock in the morning like, "what the [ bleep ] is going on?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh my gosh. >> "i cant. my tv's communicating with me!" >> jimmy: you follow colbert and "daily show." >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: and then it's your show. >> yes. >> jimmy: and it's a totally different -- >> well, it is. i mean, it's like, colbert and stewart are kind of the news
that you probably need to know, and our show is like hamsters farting and -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> goth kids making confetti. it's basically a game show where we take comedians and then, we pull stuff from the internet, and then we make jokes about it in a game show format. so it's really fun. >> jimmy: yeah. the pointless thing that you say is points on the show. >> yeah, people get points. >> jimmy: for no reason? >> well, they'll say something, and i'll just go points. >> jimmy: and you go, "oh, points for that." >> well because when we were rehearsing the show, like, when we were developing the show, the were l up with something to give people points." and i'm like, "how about points?" and then it just >> jimmy: so for no reason you get points. just because you say something -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: and you points." [ laughter ] >> but, but the kind of but the funny thin now, when i'm in publ will across the street go, "points!" and i'm like, "don't shout at me. please." >> jimmy: it's a good thing though. >> no it's good. >> jimmy: you do have a big, a a big following because also you do your podcasts. >> yes. >> jimmy: which has gotten some >> i have. >> jimmy: a very interesting story is to be a guest. >> yeah, tom -- we got tom hanks to be a gust because he collec typewriters, like vintage typewriters. >> jimmy: he loves old typewriters. >> he loves them so much.
more than people. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, that's a lie. > he's the best. he's the best. >> so he, uh, we sent him a a 1934 smith corona, and then i typed an invita maybe like a month later, i get from that typewriter on his letterhead. it's like, "how dare you think you can bribe me with the most beautiful 1934, and he's like all right, i'll come --" it was like the most tom hanksian kind of a response. he was so amazing. >> jimmy: you have to frame that. yeah. >> i know. i love him so much. >> jimmy: he's the greatest. i mean, he's one of the coolest gentlemen ever. but this is why people love you you. i mean, you got all these fun things. all these fun people coming your way. "talking dead." and then, amc now picked up your celebrity all-star celebrity bowling. >> oh yeah, you guys -- we bowled with questlove and jimmy and a.d. miles and steve higgins. and neil degrasse tyson. >> and neil degrasse tyson. we do this thing on our youtube channel. so celebrity bowling. we bowl against like the "breaking bad" cast and "walking dead" and so we pitched it to amc, and now we're going to do it as a a series. in the pilot, we bowled against the "mad men" cast. so, jon hamm and vincent kartheiser, and it was amazing. >> jimmy: is hamm good? is he a good bowler? >> he's all right. he's from what i call the
bowling belt, like, in the middle of the country. like all of those -- all the cities that you think -- >> jimmy: there's no such thing as the bowling belt. >> there is a bowling belt. >> jimmy: you made that up. >> i made up nothing. >> there is a bowling belt. it's all like all down the middle of the country. places where you'd be like, "i bet people bowl there." that's probably where t bowl. >> jimmy: interesting. i never thought abou way. >> yeah. this is your 12th year? >> 12th san diego comic yeah. >> jimmy: that's unbelievable. >> it is. it's so much fun. >> jimmy: i mean, so people and people love you out there. they know that you're going to be there. i get to monitor great panels, and i dressed up like marty mcfly this year, which if you didn't -- oh, do you have a picture of it? >> jimmy: yeah, well this is in "the hollywood reporter." >> if you didn't know i was dressed as marty mcfly, it would just look like a douchey guy in a puffy vest and ray-bans. >> jimmy: yeah. there's a picture of you in " the hollywood reporter." >> "i've got to get back to the future!" >> jimmy: yeah, you actually dress like t you're like, yeah, i'm just wearing th >> "hey, doc. i'm coming over. i'm a h you're an old scientist, but let's hang out. like that was kind of weird, their relationship when really think about it." i'm friends with -- >> "marty, it's the middle of
the night! meet [ laughter ] "what?" "oh, yeah." it's that time machine. time machine, yeah." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, i don't really want to t >> "get into this car!" wait a minute. "marty, you have to get into my van." >> jimmy: it's like -- >> "i'm going to send you back in time, so to speak." >> jimmy: okay, yeah. you were out there. you and benedict cumberbatch. >> yeah, i got to meet benedict cumberbatch, which i'm -- and there's another picture where he was like, "oh, you're dressed like marty mcfly. i'll give you the biff noogie." and it was -- he gave -- i have a picture of him giving me a noogie. >> jimmy: no way. >> and his accent is like -- >> jimmy: he sounds like stewie from "family guy." [ laughter ] apparently. >> well, it is. >> jimmy: i want to know about this dude. >> oh, yeah, this guy -- so this is our nerdist logo right here, and this guy made a a nerdist superhero outfit. it looks great. maybe should have worn a cup, but that's all right. [ laughter ] that would be my only note. >> jimmy: oh my lord. >> but it's such an amazing outfit. >> jimmy: oh no. >> he did an amazing outfit. >> jimmy: oh no. yeah, yeah. we're raising money for this guy. we'll put up his website. >> he's raising something too. >> jimmy: yeah, he certainly is. [ laughter ] well, you know what? in his defense, it was very
cold. >> it was very cold inside. >> jimmy: it was very -- >> yes, very, very cold. >> jimmy: well, i -- [ laughter ] i've kind of run out of questions. >> oh, you have? [ laughter ] that's weird because i don't have anywhere to go. ♪ >> jimmy: it's getting late. [ singing together ] ♪ i know it's late and i know you're weary weary ♪ ♪ and i know your plans don't include me ♪ ♪ and here we are both of us lonely ♪ ♪ both of us lonely we've got tonight ♪ ♪ we've got tonight babe why don't you stay ♪
♪ we've got tonight babe why don't you stay ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> all right. i guess i'll stay. >> jimmy: oh actually, we're out of time. >> okay, i'll see you. >> jimmy: take care. chris hardwick, everybody. stick around, everybody. chris, come back! come back! ♪ [ singing together ] ♪ we've got tonight babe why don't you stay ♪ ♪ we've got tonight babe why don't you stay ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guests are in the midst of a big summer tour in support of their latest album, "native." here to perform their hit single, "love runs out" -- you can clap along to this one -- please welcome, onerepublic. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ i'll be your light your match your burning sun ♪ ♪ i'll be the bright in black that's makin' you run and we'll feel all right ♪ ♪ and we'll feel all right 'cause we'll work it out yeah we'll work it out we'll be doin' this ♪
♪ if you have a doubt 'til the love runs out 'til the love runs out ♪ ♪ i'll be your ghost your game your stadium i'll be your fifty-thousand ♪ ♪ clapping like one and i feel all right and i feel all right 'cause i worked it out ♪ ♪ yeah i worked it out i'll be doin' this if you have a doubt 'til the love runs out ♪ ♪ 'til the love runs out i got my mind made up and i can't let go i'm killing every second ♪ ♪ 'til it saves my soul i'll be running i'll be running 'til the love runs out ♪ ♪ 'til the love runs out and we'll start a fire and we'll shut it down 'til the love runs out ♪ ♪ 'til the love runs out there's a maniac out in front of me ♪ ♪ got an angel on my shoulder
and mephistopheles ♪ ♪ but mama raised me good mama raised me right mama said, do what you want say prayers at night ♪ ♪ and i'm saying them 'cause i'm so devout 'til the love runs out 'til the love runs out ♪ ♪ i got my mind made up and i can't let go i'm killing every second 'til it saves my soul ♪ ♪ i'll be running i'll be running 'til the love runs out 'til the love runs out ♪ ♪ and we'll start a fire and we'll shut it down 'til the love runs out 'til the love runs out ♪ ♪ oh-oh-ooh we all want the same thing oh-oh-ooh we all run for something ♪ ♪ run for god, for fate for love, for hate
for gold, for rust for diamonds or dust ♪ ♪ i'll be your light your match your burning sun ♪ ♪ i'll be the bright in black that's makin' you run ♪ ♪ i got my mind made up and i can't let go i'm killing every second 'til it saves my soul ♪ ♪ i'll be running i'll be running 'til the love runs out 'til the love runs out ♪ ♪ and we'll start a fire and we'll shut it down 'til the love runs out 'til the love runs out ♪ ♪ i'll be your light your match your burning sun ♪ ♪ i'll be the bright in black that's makin' you run and we'll feel all right ♪ ♪ and we'll feel all right 'cause we'll work it out yeah we'll work it out and we start a fire ♪ ♪ and we shut it down
'til the love runs out 'til the love runs out 'til the love runs out ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, come on! yeah! you nailed it! >> thank you. >> jimmy: he hit the landing! onerepublic right there. "native" is in stores right now. we'll be right back. check it out! stuck the landing right there. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ mara: it's easy to lose your way in a place like this.
it was my job to help her reach her goals. mara: now, i'm headed to college to study nursing! ms. winnie earle: there are so many talented kids like mara - and they all deserve to live their dreams. (vo) ours is a world of the red-eyes. (daughter) i'm really tired. (vo) the transfers. well, that's kid number three. (vo) the co-pilots. all sitting... ...trusting... ...waiting... ...for a safe arrival. introducing the all-new subaru legacy. designed to help the driver in you... ...care for the passenger in them. the subaru legacy. it's not just a sedan. it's a subaru. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to katie holmes, chris hardwick, one republic! [ cheers and applause ]