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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  November 24, 2014 11:34pm-12:37am EST

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hour as well. noon to 5:00 p.m., mainly snow accumulating. from 5:00 to 10:00, we see the snow starting to end, although we could see a few snow showers lingering. so, again, wednesday, not a good travel day. for tonight, though, we stay partly cloudy. mild. mid 50s in philadelphia. upper 40s north and west. tomorrow, mix of sun and clouds. we do stay dry tomorrow. not as warm as today. still around 60 degrees. and then wednesday, that is our first alert weather day. that is when we watch that nor'easter moving in. temperatures will be dropping to freezing as the snow moves through. again, the high accumulations north and west of philadelphia. the good news is we do dry out for thanksgiving. so if you have to travel on thanksgiving, looks pretty good. all the way through the weekend. you're looking at live pictures of protests taking place in ferguson, missouri. as the grand jury decided not to indict officer darren wilson in the shooting death of unarmed teenager michael brown. shots have been fired outside a police station. you can see multiple fires have been taking place of multiple
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buildings in that area as well as cars that were set on fire. >> here in philadelphia, we've been watching protests as well. there have been no incidents of violence. no arrests. peaceful protests in and around the city hall area of center city. in the meantime, lawyers for officer darren wilson issued a statement on behalf of wilson tonight. "we recognize that many people will want to second guess the grand jury's decision. we would encourage anyone who wants to express an opinion to do so in a respectful and peaceful manner." we'll be right back.
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we don't really lead much into it, not like we're going to have a cornucopia or turkey on the sideline. we're going to play football. >> chip kelly not in a festive mood for thanksgiving. eagles had a light practice today. mark sanchez yesterday after beating the htitans went to the nova care complex last night. he knows how much eagles fans hate the cowboys. >> it's huge. i mean, you hear fans talk about it all the time and people you
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meet on the street and back in june, they're just like, hey, man, you know we got to get dallas. like, what? we haven't even played a game yet. just signed here. what are you talking about? >> doesn't matter if you're in college, nfl, little league. you know it's one of them you got to have games. the flyers lost one of their great coaches today. pat quinn died at the age of 71 after a long illness. flyers were outshot tonight on long island. 46-21. look at steve savior. keeping the flyers in the game. claude giroux gets stoned here. and then on the other end, john taveras scores for the islanders. they get a point, but they have lost 4 of 5. sixers are 0-14. villanova beats v krurcu. the cats are 4-0. we're right back.
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's this mythical place we talk about even though now in pennsylvania we have casinos it's still... there's ac. we're from pittsburgh. no boardwalk. no beach. no sand. it's beautiful twelve months out of the year. it's just a state of mind, it really is. you can't get this feeling anywhere. the ocean breeze and... the beach, the boardwalk, the restaurants, the casinos, music.
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you feel like you're on vacation when you come here.
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more live pictures from the unrest in ferguson, missouri. police say smoke was used in an attempt to disperse the crowd. when that didn't work, they say tear gas was used. this comes as a grand jury decided not to indict officer darren wilson in the shooting death of teenager michael brown. >> president obama addressed the nation tonight asking for peace and michael brown's parents appealed for calm as well in a statement tonight. they will hold a news conference at noontime tomorrow. to philadelphia now, where several hundred people listened to the decision in front of city hall.
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here's the view from skyforce 10 a short time ago. where the crowd marched peacefully down the streets of center city. and we'll have more tomorrow morning beginning at 4:00 a.m. i'm jacqueline london. >> i'm jim rosenfield. thanks for joining us. have a good night.
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- ( helicopter whirring ) - ( roars ) ( siren wails ) ( pop music playing ) ♪ when you're ready ♪ ready, ready, ready ♪ come and get it ♪ get it, get it ♪ when you're ready, come and get it ♪ ♪ na na na na ♪ na na na na na na na ♪ ♪ when you're ready, come and get it ♪ ♪ na na na na... female announcer: it's a great big world and it can all be yours. here and only here. ♪ come and get it.
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>> jimmy: hey, guys. this is a big moment for me and i'd like to share this with you. i'm standing outside the west entrance of 30 rockefeller plaza here on 6th avenue. now as you guys know, bringing "the tonight show" back to new york meant a lot me. i'm so lucky to record our show every day in this great building right here in the heart of new york city. so now, to make it official,
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everyone from nbc, comcast, tishman speyer gave me a gift beyond gifts. and i'd like to share this with you for the first time. i present to you, "the tonight show" marquee. [ cheers and applause ] here we go. let's light it up, boys! 3,2,1! [ cheers and applause ] yeah! let's start the show! >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- tim allen will.i.am musical guest, dej loaf. and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 169. >> steve: and now, here he is -- jimmy fallon!
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♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. hey! thank you very much. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] that's the way to do it right there. welcome, everybody, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show." thank you for being here. you all made it. this is it. this is the show. this is the one to be at. this is it. you guys feeling it? [ cheers and applause ] you came to the right place. you came to the right place. thank you for being here. thank you for watching at home. guys, here's what everyone is talking about. big news today. defense secretary chuck hagel resigned after sources say the white house became frustrated with his often embarrassing and contradictory remarks, at which point biden quietly started
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packing his things. [ laughter and applause ] he was like -- that's right. hagel resigned after receiving criticism for his handling of national security issues like ebola and isis. although i think we knew it was over when he showed how he handles furniture. take a look. >> i had an incident with a a cabinet door. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: when people in the white house said, "don't let the door hit you on the way out," they meant it literally. we don't want you to get hurt. put a helmet on, something. we don't want you to get hurt anymore. "i had an incident with a a cabinet door." [ light laughter ] during a recent interview with george stephanopoulos, president obama said that after his presidency, voters wiil want a, quote, new car smell in 2016. yeah. and americans are like, actually, "we just want to finally put the key in the ignition. we just would like to go. we just would like to do something." [ cheers and applause ] we just want to see it move, anything. put it in neutral, we'll jump-start it.
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over the weekend, president obama played golf with derek jeter in las vegas. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: yeah. jeter enjoyed hearing obama describe what it's like to be president while obama enjoyed listening to jeter describe what it's like to be retired. he's like, "really? you just wear sweatpants all day? sounds so great." and this is little embarrassing. last week president obama was spotted leaving the marine one helicopter shortly after boarding because he forgot his blackberry inside the white house. yeah, his blackberry. [ laughter ] got worse when he had to go back a second time to get his disc-man. he's like, "gotta hear ace of base for the ride." [ impersonating obama ] ♪ all you want is another baby she's gone tomorrow all that she wants ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ it's a beautiful life oh oh oh oh it's a beautiful life ♪ of course, this week in keeping with tradition, president obama
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will pardon a turkey during a a ceremony in the white house rose garden. when he heard that ted cruz was like, "another executive order? who does he think he is, the king?" [ laughter ] another one? but not everyone's happy about this turkey pardoning thing. in fact, peta is asking president obama's teenaged daughters to go vegan for thanksgiving to support animal rights. yep. as opposed to the other reasons teenagers go vegan on thanksgiving -- just to be difficult. [ laughter ] "i decided five minutes ago i won't do this." [ laughter ] "can you shape a veggieburger to look like a flattened turkey, please?" that's right. obama will pardon a turkey at the white house. it always gets a lot of attention. but nobody ever follows up on the pardoned turkeys after they're sent away to live on a a farm. you think their lives would be great, but we tracked them down. a few of them. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: yeah. here's what they had to say. caramel was pardoned in 2 2013 by president obama.
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and he said, "at first it was all autographs, paparazzi, guesting on letterman. after the holidays, everything stopped. i overreacted, i fired my manager who was also my dad. we haven't gobbled on the phone since." [ laughter ] i mean, just, a little sad. next up is hickory. he was pardoned in 2 2006 by george w. bush. he said, "after i got pardoned i went absolutely crazy. booze, pills, huffing spray paint out of a bag and just tons of random sex. i hit rock bottom one morning when i woke up next to a a chicken -- a rubber chicken." [ laughter and applause ] sounds awful. >> steve: that's rough. that's rough. >> jimmy: it just sounds terrible. >> steve: it was bad. >> jimmy: finally, hopscotch was pardoned in 1980 by jimmy carter. and he said, "i was ready to go. i spent all my savings, quit my job, flipped off my boss and my mother-in-law. then they tell me i'm going to live? f-m-l." i mean. [ cheers and applause ] i guess it's a blessing and a a curse. you guys see this last night on "60 minutes"? former u.s. secretary of transportation ray lahood was
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asked about the state of america's bridges. i can't really tell how worried i should be. listen to what he said. >> there are bridges that need to be really either replaced or repaired in a very dramatic way. >> they're dangerous? >> i don't want to say they're unsafe, but they're dangerous. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't want to say you're going to die, but if you go on a bridge, you're not going to live. [ laughter ] confusing. guys, listen to this, during a a recent interview, "game of thrones" actress natalie dormer said that the series could use some more male nudity. yeah, so it's going to be awkward during a nude scene when and actor's like, "sorry, winter is coming." [ laughter ] it came a little earlier today, i believe. a little brisk outside. and everybody's talking about this.
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last night new york giants wide receiver odell beckham jr., oh, my gosh. [ cheers ] he made what people are calling the catch of the year. this is it. this is unbelievable. check out this catch. >> i don't think he stepped out either. that may be the greatest catch i've ever seen. >> he's on the 39, the 40. touchdown. >> you have to be kidding me. that is impossible. >> jimmy: yeah, he snagged that thing like a middle-aged bridesmaid going after the bouquet. like, "out of my way! i got it. get out of my way!" "looks like i'm next in line." one handed catch. amazing. eli manning was like, "nice catch." and odell beckham was like, "crappy throw." [ laughter ] guys, it just seems like a sign of the times here. last week colorado approved the world's first credit union that specializes in marijuana businesses. yeah. so if you think the line is slow at your bank -- [ laughter ] "201, sorry, i forgot.
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oh, man. i need your name and your social security number. oh, man, you see this video on youtube?" finally, i heard about a new device called the sonic decanter that can age wine and make it taste better in just 20 minutes. not to be confused with the other way you can make wine taste better in 20 minutes, drinking wine for 20 minutes. [ laughter ] we have a great show. give it up for the roots, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, welcome, everybody. guys, i just want to quickly mention that starting today apple is partnering with project red on a really cool charity initiative. just go to the app store and look for the apps for red section. for the next two weeks any time you buy something there, all proceeds will go directly to the global fund to fight aids and other diseases.
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[ applause ] yeah. that's cool that apple's doing this. and then next monday on world aids day, a percentage of anything sold by apple will go towards the continued fight against aids. we've turned our computer red in support of this great cause. to learn more about how you can help go to apple.com/red. get involved. [ cheers and applause ] it's fun. real cool. guys, it's monday. we're happy to be back. we have a big week of shows coming up. bill o'reilly will be here. christopher walken will be here. garth brooks will all be here. plus performances from lorde and iggy azalea. >> steve: what? >> jimmy: crazy week. but first we have a fantastic show tonight. from abc's "last man standing," the very funny tim allen is joining us. [ cheers and applause ] i love that dude. he's funny. >> steve: me too. >> jimmy: tim and i are going to go head-to-head in a very special
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thanksgiving-themed scooter race. [ laughter ] that's nice. [ imitating tim allen ] yeah. plus, we love this guy. he's a member of the black eyed peas. he's the creator of the "ew!" theme song. there he is right there. he's a genius. we love him so much, he has a a cool new device that he's invented. it's like a smart band. i got to show you exactly what it is. it's brand new. it's, really, really cool. the one and only will.i.am is here. [ cheers and applause ] [ as sara ] "oh, my god. will is here!" the greatest guy. and we have new music from this new artist, man. i'm blown away. she is fantastic. dej loaf is here, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] you're going to love her. she's good. she is good. big show tonight. guys, it's november. yeah. i can't believe i'm saying this, but christmas is just a a month away. >> steve: i know. >> jimmy: it really is. i don't know what happened. but i'll tell you what i do know. >> steve: what? >> jimmy: everyone loves getting the gift of a good
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book. yeah. [ light laughter ] >> steve: they love it. kids, teens, tweens, everybody. >> jimmy: yeah. but there are a lot of stinkers out there, higgins. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: yeah. so i'm going to help you guys out with your holiday shopping. i'm about to show you some books that you should avoid at all costs. that's right. it's time for my latest installment of my "do not read list." here we go. ♪ do not read do not read do not read these books these books ♪ >> jimmy: now before we start, i just want you to know that every book i'm about to show you is 100% real. these are actual books. you can find them on amazon. check them out at your local library. they are real. all right. let's see what's on my "do not read list" here. this first book is a real page turner. you know i love those, yeah. this is "the disadvantages of being dead." [ laughter ] by a.r.d. fairburn. apparently there aren't many because it's a pretty thin book. you can skip that one if you want to. next up is an instructional book. you like those higgins? >> steve: i love them. >> jimmy: yeah, this is great.
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an instructional book here. this is "motorcycling for beginners." but here's the best part, it's written by a guy named jeff carless. [ laughter ] that's his actual name. i guess that's why he rides motorcycles >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: he born to write this. >> steve: yeah, he was born to write it. >> jimmy: jeff carless. yeah. there it is. "motorcycling for beginners." this next book is for all you cat owners out there. any cat owners out there? [ cheers and applause ] one, two? this is "raising your cat: a a complete and illustrated guide," because these cats obviously have been raised well. they're, uh -- [ laughter ] no other photo? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: you don't have one other photo? >> steve: get the one where they're fighting. >> jimmy: how about the picture where they fought the least? you just don't want a picture of a cute cat or anything? >> steve: no, don't got that. >> jimmy: take a look on the back cover here. they're advertising another cat book called "the silent miaow." >> steve: what? >> jimmy: it really rolls of the tongue, miaow. >> steve: me-ow. >> jimmy: miaow.
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it's a manual for kittens, strays and homeless cats translated from feline by paul galico. not calico. >> steve: no. >> jimmy: why not just change it to -- you're writing a book about cats, take a message from jeff carless. >> steve: yeah, come on. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: jeff carless knows how to do it, paul. >> steve: "my names galico, not calico." >> jimmy: "don't make fun of my last name. a whole book about calicos by paul galico." [ laughter ] i can't help people. here's another pet book. people love pet books. well this is sort of a pet book. this is "painting pets on rocks," by lynn wellford. great book. "hey, jimmy, there's something wrong with your basset hound. it won't stop staring at me and it's not moving at all." [ laughter ] "oh, you mean toby? he's actually a rock that i painted to look like a basset hound because i'm a completely normal human being." [ laughter ] >> steve: i'm writing a book. >> jimmy: i'm not sure if i should show you guys this next one. it might be too exciting. >> steve: ooh. what is it?
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>> jimmy: but i'll do it anyway. "bottles in canada." there you go. over 2,000 bottles illustrated. the collectors guide to seeking, finding, dating, pricing, and researching bottles in canada. this is a hot book. you guys are very lucky to be seeing this. [ laughter ] >> steve: flying off the shelf. >> jimmy: well, let's see if we can see what a canadian bottle looks like. >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: okay, enough. that's it right there. >> steve: hey, hey, whoa. >> jimmy: that's all you get. >> steve: that did not look like a bottle. >> jimmy: that's all you get. canadian bottles. >> steve: that did not look like a bottle. >> jimmy: a canadian bottle. this is it. >> steve: what? >> jimmy: mission accomplished. >> steve: did it taste like beer? >> jimmy: mission accomplished. we're down to our last book. >> steve: oh! >> jimmy: this "the muffin muncher." >> steve: what? [ laughter ] wait! >> jimmy: down here, it says, "helping others makes it easier for them to help you, huh?" that's one way to put it there, i guess. >> steve: is that a camel toe on the cover? what is that? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a dragon. that's not a camel.
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>> steve: that's not a camel. >> jimmy: that's not a camel. no, it looks like a big dragon. >> steve: that's the muffin muncher, right? >> jimmy: yes, that's the muffin muncher. let's see who's behind the story of "the muffin muncher," here. she looks much happier than he does there in that picture. that's all we have for this edition of my "do not read list." guys, if you have a book you think should be on our next "do not read list," i'd love to see it. send your title to our blog at donotread@tonightshow.com. we'll be right back with tim allen! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ ♪ [laughter] ♪ have a cuervo. have a sensitive side. just don't have any regrets.
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cuervo. have a story.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is a a talented actor and comedian who stars on the popular abc comedy series "last man standing," which can be seen fridays at 8:00 p.m. please welcome to our show, tim allen, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: tim allen right there! that's what i'm talking about! he doesn't mess around. tim allen! >> and that's all i got. >> jimmy: tim allen, everybody! ♪ there he goes. tim allen, the great tim allen. that was some entrance. thank you so much. >> i'm tired right now. >> jimmy: no, please. >> so tired. >> jimmy: enjoy some water or whatever you care for. >> oh, wait a minute. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> went to the rockettes. >> jimmy: fantastic. >> just took the family. >> jimmy: did you really? >> yeah, today. >> jimmy: it's an unbelievable show. >> it is unbelievable. >> jimmy: which one freaked you out? the marching soldier? >> that was a good one. just the girls and dancing. new york does -- you can't get a bad meal here. >> jimmy: that's true. >> you really got to search for it. i'll find it, but -- you know, and then the rockettes. my 5-year-old, it was just great. new york does live stuff just -- it's great. >> jimmy: you can't beat it. >> big finish. come on, big finish. >> jimmy: exactly. it keeps going and going. oh, my god, that's the most
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talented dancers. >> it was good, great day. now, am i being correct -- >> probably. >> jimmy: if things didn't go the way life goes, i would have introduced you as tim dick. [ laughter ] >> wow. >> jimmy: i think i knew -- >> right away, i'm back in high school. that's exactly how my life started. my family name, we thought we were german. actually, scottish and it's dick. but you know, and here's the joke, all my family are dicks. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's great. come on. >> the best joke -- everybody was, "hey, is your dad named harry?" no, no, my dad isn't named harry. [ laughter ] you go through high school, you get all this. i worked in the sporting goods store. this old woman, she said, "you should name your kid anita." [ laughter ] i went, "whoa." no, listen! if you hear a good one, you go, "hey, that was rude, but that was good." but abc for a while was doing "good morning america." they stretched it to "good afternoon." and i'm from detroit. so, they had good afternoon.
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that's an o&o there, owned and operated, so they did a "good afternoon" show and i was a a beat reporter. and i was starting to do these -- i make up all thee characters, do all this stuff. they put my name up on the chyron, the little graphic. the guy went, in the control, "oh, hell no, no, no. [ laughter ] oh, hell no. we can't put tim dick up there. think of another name." i go, "well, that is my name." "i don't care whose name that is. you can't put tim dick up there. why not just tim penis? why don't you go the whole thing?" [ laughter ] you got to think of something. >> jimmy: a new name, yeah. >> and i wasn't thinking. i should have had questlove. i've got a name, i didn't think -- >> jimmy: you could've had like a -- >> magnifico or piccolo or cracker barrel. something. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: cracker barrel. >> that was already a cheese. that was taken. >> jimmy: but still. you have to try. >> why didn't i say magnifico? cedric's got a name. cedric the entertainer. >> jimmy: yeah, he just went for it. >> the perfect guy. >> jimmy: allen is your middle name? >> middle name. i just switched it around. >> jimmy: you went with
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tim allen. that's a great name. now we all know you as tim allen. yeah, absolutely. we love tim allen now. >> sure we do. you can tell by the reaction. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ yeah. >> jimmy: they're waiting for another -- >> i think i just pulled something doing that. [ laughter ] i don't know where i got these trousers. >> jimmy: i don't want to be the millionth person to say -- but gosh, i love "toy story." >> oh, thanks. [ cheers and applause ] i sell so many more toys than hanks. that's all i care about. [ laughter ] nobody wants that little cowboy without a groin. nobody wants that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they want the astronaut. >> oh, come on. >> jimmy: do people yell that when you go to the stadiums or whatever? >> the first time i did some other show here in town -- >> jimmy: what? you did another show. >> not today! >> jimmy: oh, my god. >> well, maybe. >> jimmy: that was awkward. >> oh, shoot. well, a day is long. >> jimmy: no big deal. >> no, but in an elevator and some kid's acting up.
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this is why mel blank never did those characters voices outside of the warner brothers cartoons. >> jimmy: oh, sure. >> it's horrible. this kid's acting up with his parent. and i thought it'd be kind of funny. i go, "to infinity and beyond!" and that kid froze, had a a little seizure. [ laughter ] and he's screaming to his mother. that man, that ugly man ate buzz lightyear. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: you didn't help at all. it did not help. you can't do that. congrats on that. congrats. i know they're doing another "toy story." >> "toy story 4," just announced. >> jimmy: oh, i can not wait. [ cheers and applause ] i thought "toy story 3" should have been film of the year. that was my favorite movie the whole year. >> it was so sad, man. >> jimmy: oh, i loved it. >> they showed it to us, when they finished it, the stick drawings. it was really sad and wonderful then. >> jimmy: i cried my eyes out. >> tom gets all the lines, though. >> jimmy: no, no. >> did that come out? >> jimmy: no, no. we'll edit that out. we'll have a voice-over go, "i love working with tom hanks."
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[ laughter ] >> my whole life is this -- "come on, woody. watch out, woody. [ laughter ] woody! woody, come on, woody!" hanks goes on and on and on. >> jimmy: he's got monologues. >> a lot of academy awards. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: give buzz a line! give buzz a line! come on, man! [ applause ] give buzz lightyear a a monologue, something. the spanish twist was great. >> that didn't go well. >> jimmy: not gonna get your that academy award. >> no academy award for that. >> jimmy: well, we're looking forward to number four. also, congrats on "last man standing." this is on fourth season. >> fourth season. >> jimmy: that's fantastic! >> thanks. [ cheers and applause ] a lot like -- i never thought i'd do something again after "home improvement." once i opened up the thought process about doing a tv show -- it's like having a dog that you loved. i really loved "home improvement." eight years, great cast. then you get a puppy. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. but this thing is --
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i just love this cast, and having three girls. i kind of turn it inside out. i work for a sporting goods store instead of the tools. i got three daughters instead of three boys. i couldn't be happier working with this cast and crew. and it's this weird hybrid. i do stand-up all around the country. still do tours, work vegas at the mirage. and then, you go back and work in front of an audience and do tv. >> jimmy: you do your show live, right? >> right. >> jimmy: that's the way you got to do it. >> well, there's nothing like tv. it's one thing we can do that you can't do in any other format. i mean this is -- >> jimmy: yeah. you need the energy of the audience. >> oh, man, i love it. and we've had bits where i can't show them. i send them to you guys, but we won't show them. >> jimmy: but they're fun. you got to make the audience -- >> well, these are outtakes that we can't even put on, because they're just so ridiculous. we had this whole bit where the writers -- they write stuff and even i go, "oh, that's a little awkward." there was a bit where one of the girls was being real liberal. a liberal girl, even fdr would have stood up for something like that. [ laughter ] you got it! you got it! we got 300 people in a room
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going "oh, god, that's terrible." right away, i go, "look, i didn't write this. but let me take another shot at it." and i just kept doing it. "fdr, he would have stood up for that. if he could have stood up." >> jimmy: you keep -- you keep -- >> modulate, modulate. but, you know, i didn't write the thing. it actually aired. >> jimmy: but there's nothing like it. the crackle, the energy. >> one guy laughed. i like that. one guy. he just got it. >> jimmy: no, no. that's my ringtone. i left my phone over there. >> some guy gets it on the way home. oh, i get it. >> jimmy: fdr's in a a wheelchair. >> how weird is that? >> jimmy: you are at the mirage in las vegas. >> yes. >> jimmy: january 31st. >> don't bring your kids. >> jimmy: it's not a a buzz lightyear show. >> no. >> jimmy: this is a a tim allen -- it's a tim dick special, you guys. >> hey, hey! hey, hey, hey, hey! [ applause ] >> jimmy: january 31st, march 7th. just go to mirage.com and see all the dates. >> don't bring your kids! >> jimmy: don't bring your kids
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and go support tim allen. go see him and laugh. have a great time. it's going to be fun. [ cheers and applause ] i'd like to challenge you to a a race, if you don't mind. would you like to try one? >> yeah, we're going to race. >> jimmy: "last man standing" airs fridays at 8:00 p.m. on abc. tim allen and i are racing turkey scooters when we get back. it's fun. come on back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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♪ ♪ it's a marshmallow world in the winter. ♪ ♪
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♪ vivofit. gently reminds you to get moving. join the movement. ♪ [instrumental music] ♪ revealed through the work of its scholars and graduates.
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it has inspired strength and purpose. an enduring symbol of passion and excellence that is not static, but moves among us. a feeling...a shared experience, a reminder that we are connected for life. we are penn state, making our mark on the world. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, everybody. i'm here with tim allen, star of abc's "last man standing." [ cheers and applause ] thank you for being here. thursday is thanksgiving.
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so tim and i are getting a head start on celebrating with a a good old- fashioned turkey scooter race. >> and how stupid do we look? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, we don't look stupid. we, of course, have our helmets on because safety is sexy. [ laughter ] and here's how the race will work. tim and i will go out of the studio, make a left and head down the elevator bank, circle around the arguing family having dinner -- [ laughter ] >> -- every night! >> jimmy: then, we'll head back down the hallway past the crazy aunt who loves pinching cheeks, then pass two hungry pilgrims. then, we'll come around the corner, past an uncle trying to watch football and back into the studio. first one to cross the finish line is the champion. tim, are you ready? >> i'm built ready, baby. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: ready, higgins? >> steve: are you ready? >> jimmy: yeah. we're making a left as soon as we turn? >> steve: yeah, get out that door. >> you start right up. >> steve: go to the left, go towards the elevators. >> that's your left, right? [ laughter ] okay. >> jimmy: my left, yeah. >> all right, okay. >> steve: your right, no, your right! >> okay, your left. >> steve: three, two, one, go! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> ah! >> jimmy: oh, hey! [ talking over each other ] >> jimmy: oh, hey! hello, hello! >> oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh! the champion right there, the man! tim allen! [ cheers and applause ] great race right there. great race! tim allen! will.i.am joins us next. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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get to the terminal across town. are all the green lights you? no. it's called grid iq. the 4:51 is leaving at 4:51. ♪ they cut the power. it'll fix itself. power's back on. quick thinking traffic lights and sewer grids make the world predictable. thrillingly predictable.
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some phones aren't water resistant. some don't have replaceable batteries. some don't have a kids mode that prevents the little fella from sending out that embarrassing photo to the whole company. the samsung galaxy s5 it takes a lot of things to be the next big thing. [phone rings] it takes a lot of things to be the next big thing. hey brian, you free for lunch? this week only, get the samsung galaxy s5 for $1 at best buy.
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my one word to describe ac would relaxing getaway fun unique beautiful serenity shenanigans refreshing shopping surprising happy place you know what i mean? i want to say friendly. exhilarating adventure the boardwalk #nosleep it's a great weekend. there is so much to do here. it's so great to have it so close. it's just a great location, a great place to be. we love atlantic city. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a multiple grammy award winning
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artist and entrepreneur. look at this. his latest creation is a a smartband called a puls -- that's p-u-l-s. which will be available starting in december. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, will.i.am. my man! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: there's so much to talk about. there's so much to talk about. i got to say, got to say thank you, thank you, thank you so much. last time i saw you, you didn't look like this. >> you didn't look like that. >> jimmy: i did not look like this. no, we looked like -- well, we looked like -- we looked like this. yeah. [ cheers and applause ] my name is sara with no "h" because hs are ew. >> ew. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] and you were mir.i.am. >> i'm mir.i.am. i was thinking of other words that were i am-y, but the only one is will.i.am and miriam.
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so i just was like, i'm going to rock mir.i.am. >> jimmy: but i mean, we were here. do you remember this? how it all went down? >> yeah, i came here to do "it's my birthday" with cody wise. and then, afterwards, we were in the back, sound-checking. i was like, "yo, ew." and you were like, "do you know that?" i'm like, "yo, i love that." every time you get one of those, i like share them around and show everybody. because it's like one of my favorite sketches that you do. and then i was like, "you should make a song out of that." >> jimmy: then, i wouldn't -- i didn't leave the room. i was like, "wait, what? you just said make a song about it. let's do it. let's make a song about it." [ laughter ] i was like, "but you said it. i didn't say it. you said it." >> and then, i went home. a lot of times people always say, in our industry, "yo, let's hook up. let's connect." and then nothing ever happens. so, i was like, let me not let that happen and just make the song right now. and then email it to you. because you gave me your email. >> jimmy: i gave you my email and then -- which is will.i.am@yahoo.com. [ laughter ] sorry, i gave my email out. so anyways, you emailed me. me and the writers were trying to write a rap song. we're like, we are rapping.
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we are having -- [ laughter ] then, you, a week later -- not even, right? like a week later you sent us a a whole song. >> except for it didn't have your fast rap on it. then when i got the fast rap, i was like, "oh, man, sara with no "h" is going to out-rap mir.i.am." [ laughter ] like tariq is going to, like, clown me forever. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but you know how long it took me to record the fast rap, man. that's why you don't work with comedians. we did this part. it was like -- ♪ rhyming and rhyming and repetitions ♪ [ mumbled rapping ] and i was doing this whole thing. and we had to do the take over and over again. you just looped the song. and i could just see you in the booth. and you're just like -- [ laughter ] i'm like, "can we do it one more time, guys?" [ mumbled rapping ] sorry, guys. [ mumbled rapping ] sorry about that, guys. [ laughter ] you're just checking out your -- what time is it? no, i got to go. i got to go. but then we released the song. i said, wouldn't it be cool if we broke the billboard 100?
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>> yo, we got in the top 40. no, we got in the top 20. >> jimmy: 20, it was top 20. >> yo, it was like -- >> jimmy: that was the biggest thing that's ever going to happen to me, ever. so i got to thank you. thank you, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ that meant the world. i was like, i never thought i would ever crack top 40. and i was like, ryan seacrest has to say something about our song. it's on the american top 40. elvis duran has to talk. but then, i started getting a a lot of kids on twitter and people on twitter dressing up as "ew" for halloween. look, here's me and you there. [ laughter ] yeah. look at these. look at these dudes. happy halloween. [ laughter ] it was just the biggest, most fun time. i wish you were here. because i was emailing you, like, how crazy i was going. but i wish you were here so i could scream, and jump up and down. dude, this is so cool! >> i was like in my tech meetings. and, you know, because -- when somebody does something and it doesn't turn out right,
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i'm like, "seriously?" so, one of the indian dudes that worked with us just came from bangalore, india. they were like -- [ with indian accent ] "oh, my gosh, will. you sound exactly like mir.i.am from the video with jimmy fallon." [ laughter ] i'm like, "no, what are you talking about? i say ew. i say seriously all the time." they're like, "no, but you sound exactly like mir.i.am. i cannot believe it." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: first of all, i am mir.i.am. and i can say, "seriously, seriously." [ laughter ] >> he was like, "seriously, i sent it to all my friends in india. this is where all the videos -- all the people seeing it is probably in india." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, really? you have a big following in india? >> because all the people who make this with me are from india, bangalore. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: now, tell me about this. please tell me about this. this is a super cool thing. it's puls, p-u-l-s. >> yes. so, it's a company that i founded and started after we had success with beats. the first time we had success, i put this team together and we started creating this device. it's a smart cuff, smartband, that sits on your wrist. you can make phone calls, send instant messages, go on instagram, twitter, facebook,
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count your steps when you workout. it has music. and you don't even need a a phone. >> jimmy: so, it doesn't hook into your phone at all? or you can have any phone and it'll still -- >> no, no, no. this is a computer. >> jimmy: this is it right here? >> yeah, yeah, yeah. you can, like, make phone calls and whatnot. >> jimmy: so, you can call someone? >> yeah, yeah. i'm going to call my mom real quick. watch. >> jimmy: can we get this? do we have a camera angle? we'll blur this out. [ laughter ] your mom's going to be getting calls forever. >> calling my mom, dude. [ ringing ] [ light laughter ] >> hello? >> mom? >> yes? >> what are you doing? >> nothing. >> guess where i'm at? i'm on jimmy fallon showing him the watch. i'm on tv right now! >> that's good. [ laughter and applause ]
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>> jimmy: mom, this is your tv debut. this is jimmy. i want to say hello. >> hello, how are you? >> jimmy: i'm doing really good. you sound really excited to be on television. [ laughter ] i just want to say thank you for your son. he's the most creative, most fun person. we love him so much. was he always this creative growing up? >> yes, it is. yes, he was. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yes, it is -- yes, he was. it's a pleasure talking to you. >> ma? >> yes. >> you freezing up on tv? [ laughter ] >> because you're going in and out. >> no, i'm not going in and out. ma, we're on tv. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: mom! >> ma, i'll call you back. >> jimmy: yeah, he'll call you back, mom. >> yeah, you got music on this bad boy. hold on, check this out. i'm going to play some crazy, funky beats on this piece right quick. [ laughter ] ♪ ♪ ew no seriously
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who likes that ew ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this thing is awesome. no way! so, you don't need a phone. this is the phone. this is the brains. you've got a sim card in this thing, and this is it. that's all you need. >> it's got a sim card. it got a.i. in it. >> the reason why i'm doing this is because i'm telling kids in my inner city that they should take an interest in science, technology, engineering and mathematics. and aim to create apps and get involved in this technological conversation because people want you to be involved. you know, this is just another momentum to get these kids excited around this subject. on black friday, i'm deejaying from my performance version of this watch. and that's this kara ross, blinged out version. >> jimmy: say what? >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: whoa, whoa, wow, whoa, whoa. >> yeah, check out the ice. i'm frozen! [ laughter ] i'm deejaying at bloomingdale's from the device. i got a deejay app on there. on black friday, 7:00 in the morning, i'm deejaying from this kara ross blinged out version. thank you, kara. >> jimmy: go see will.i.am, you guys. oh, my gosh.

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