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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  December 12, 2014 11:34pm-12:37am EST

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deciding between buying is no longer a problem. healthy pa offers name-brand health insurance for the cost of a few basic groceries. if you're uninsured, call or apply online today. >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- martin freeman, megan mullally, musical guest, yusuf cat stevens,
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and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 179! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about right there. hey, guys, how you doing? [ cheers and applause ] welcome. thank you so much. happy friday. welcome to "the tonight show," everybody. you made it. you're here. this is it. [ cheers and applause ] it's a great show. welcome, welcome. thank you so much for being here, you guys. here's what people are all talking about.
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i saw that next week, joe biden will assist in the 35th annual light of the national menorah at the white house. [ laughter ] when he heard that, smokey the bear was like, "hold my calls. i just don't think it's going to end well. that's all." [ laughter ] speaking of biden, this week, he said that he will finally decide on a potential 2016 presidential campaign by the spring or summer. [ laughter ] then he was like, "whichever comes first." [ laughter ] and this is pretty interesting here. according to a new poll, jeb bush is the only potential 2016 candidate that would beat hillary clinton in the state of florida. [ light laughter ] that's what they're saying. but that could all change if pitbull gets into the race. [ laughter ] he's very big in florida. they love him. >> steve: he's very big. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ santa's in miami ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: some more political news -- it was just announced that
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congressional republicans will hold a two-day summit in hershey, pennsylvania in january. while hershey is a well-known tourist destination because it's the home of hershey's chocolate, lawmakers say it's strictly a business trip. it is. for instance, missouri congressman billy long said, "i can't wait to get to hershey and sink my teeth into this summit." [ laughter ] he can't wait to sink his teeth into the summit. texas congressman, blake farenthold says, "who's going to chair this meeting, i nom-nom-nominate myself." [ laughter ] next, congressman kenny marchant said, "sometimes you got to take the fun sized steps to make the king sized changes. [ laughter ] eventually, it all melts into something you just shove in your whole face if want because you're an adult." [ cheers and applause ] next, congressman joe pitts said, "are the buildings made out of chocolate in hershey? if they are, we should think about having the meeting somewhere else, because i will eat a chocolate building. you know what? let's keep the meeting in hershey." [ laughter ] and then, finally -- finally, congressman tom cotton said, "i
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don't see what all the fuss is about." [ laughter and applause ] he doesn't get it. >> steve: he doesn't get it. >> jimmy: some people don't like chocolate. >> steve: they don't like it. >> jimmy: i thought this was nice. during his weekly address the other day, pope francis -- we love pope francis. he's a good pope. [ cheers ] pope francis assured the crowd that all animals go to heaven. and then cats were like, "have you met us? we're evil." [ laughter ] this is very exciting. yesterday, the golden globe nominations were announced, but some people are upset that "the walking dead," "modern family" and interstellar were all snubbed this year. [ audience oohs ] it's okay, though. president obama has issued an executive action, granting them all a passed nomination. [ cheers and applause ] [ imitating president obama ] this is bogus. everybody knows it. speaking of movies, new research has found that the average adult subscriber spends a little over five hours per week watching netflix, and a a little over six hours per week navigating through netflix. [ laughter ]
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go back -- back. b-a-c-a, oh, man. i don't -- am i in tv. what genre am i in? [ light laughter ] if you have kids, you might want to listen to this. i just read that more public schools are offering single sex classes in an attempt to keep boys and girls less distracted. when asked if it was helping, kids were like, "sorry. what were you saying? [ laughter ] playing minecraft." [ laughter ] did you see this? during his trip to new york city last week, prince william revealed that his son prince george loves playing games on his ipad and that it's a great way for him to learn about electronics. you know, because you do not want that kid hitting the job market without any skills. [ laughter ] prince george -- [ cheers and applause ] -- i think he'll be fine. hey, guys, we are in week 15 of the nfl season and sunday night's big matchup -- [ applause ] -- sunday night's big matchup is between the
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philadelphia eagles -- [ cheers ] and the dallas cowboys. now -- [ cheers and boos ] now, as you know, at the end of every season they give out awards like most valuable player. but they also give out awards during the season. sort of like ones in high school yearbooks, like most likely to succeed, class clown, stuff like that. so, with that in mind, it's time for "tonight show superlatives." here we go. ♪ "tonight show" superlatives ♪ >> jimmy: our first player is nick foles. he's the quarterback for the philadelphia eagles. he was voted "most likely to be the love child of ryan gosling and macaulay culkin." [ laughter and applause ] congratulations. next player is jeff maehl, he's a wide receiver for the eagles. he was voted "most likely to be in an nfl boy band called eight-point touchdown." [ laughter ] pass me the ball, girl. [ applause ] next up is ronald leary from
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the dallas cowboys. he was voted "most likely to be watching his white coworkers dance at the office christmas party." [ laughter and applause ] next, from the eagles is riley cooper. he was voted "most likely to be a troll doll after he just got out of the shower." [ laughter and applause ] anybody got a blow dryer? next from the eagles is matt barkley. he was voted "most likely to be draco malfoy's mugshot." [ laughter and applause ] next up from the cowboys is brandon weeden. he was voted "most likely to say, 'this is my first time' every time." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: oy. hey-o! >> jimmy: next up is connor barwin from the eagles. he was voted "most likely to ask his barber for 'the macklemore, but worse.'" interesting. [ laughter ] next up from the eagles is chris maragos.
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he was voted "most likely to purposely leave the egg avatar up on his twitter profile pic." [ laughter ] next up from the cowboys is terrell mcclain. he was voted "most likely to have had his first word as a a baby be 'damn!'" [ laughter ] next up from the eagles is bo allen. he was voted "most likely to be mario batali auditioning for 'lord of the rings.'" [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: it's a great award. >> jimmy: next up from the cowboys is l.p. ladouceur. he was voted "most likely to end every conversation with 'y'all stay sassy!'" [ laughter ] and finally, from the cowboys, we have anthony spencer. he was voted "mr. lowercase t." there you go, guys. those are your nfl superlatives. we have great show! give it up for the roots! ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah! this will be a hot show tonight. thank you, guys, for being here. thank you for watching. we have a fun show. he is hosting "saturday night live" this week, and he stars in the new movie "the hobbit: the battle of the five armies." martin freeman is here! >> steve: come on! [ cheers and applause ] lovely man. >> jimmy: "the office," "sherlock." >> steve: "fargo." oh, just great. >> jimmy: "fargo," "love actually," yeah. martin and i are going to strap on some antler helmets later on in the show for a game of antler ring toss. you don't want to miss that. [ cheers ] it's going to be fun. plus, she's a funny and talented actress starring on broadway right now. megan mullally is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] here's her play right there. and we have a performance from yusuf cat stevens, right there!
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[ cheers and applause ] fantastic. guys, we have exactly eight shows left before we go on christmas break. which means it's time for a new "tonight show" tradition. it's time for "12 days of christmas sweaters." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ 12 days of christmas sweaters eight days left ♪ >> jimmy: that's right. every show between now and christmas, we're giving one lucky audience member an awesome christmas sweater from the countdown to christmas cabinet. [ cheers ] yeah. and since there are eight shows left, let's open door number eight. [ drum roll ] >> you ready? >> jimmy: yeah. ooh! [ cheers ] ♪
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wow. this is -- [ cheers and applause ] beautiful christmas sweater. now, lets see who's going home with tonight's sweater. everyone, look at your seat number. [ cheers and applause ] now, if i call your number, i need you to jump up. let me know where you are. quest, can i get a drum roll, please? [ drum roll ] look at your seat number, guys. who wants this -- who wants this christmas sweater? [ cheers and applause ] [ drum roll ] >> jimmy: 242! ♪ yes! there you go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ yeah. >> yeah! >> jimmy: gotcha. well done. well done. there you go, buddy. congratulations. >> thank you. >> jimmy: what is your name?
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>> swinton. >> jimmy: swinton. >> yeah. >> jimmy: swinton, where are you from? >> atlanta. >> jimmy: atlanta, oh, my gosh. so, atlanta, you go to atlanta. they also call it hot-lanta. >> hot-lanta. >> jimmy: but you know what? sometimes, it gets a little chilly in atlanta. >> that's what the sweater's for. >> jimmy: yeah, and that's when you need a christmas sweater like this guy. >> yeah! >> jimmy: i mean, take this thing off. this is ridiculous. i mean, that's -- a thing of the past! [ cheers and applause ] here's the future right here. swinton, go for it. i think it's going to be fantastic. i don't think you know anyone who's got a sweater like this. oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. [ cheers ] ah -- yes! that looks fantastic. ah, that looks great. how do you feel? >> like a new man. >> jimmy: yeah, you are a new man! congratulations, buddy. >> thank you! >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. stick around. we'll be right back, you guys, with "thank you notes." swinton! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ so many gifts to buy at so many stores.
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[ringing] [french accent] hello, pierre's bistro. uhh, i'd like to make a reservation. [french accent] there's nothing available! goodbye. c'mon dude. don't hang up on me. try again. call me from the ipad. [ringing] [french accent] huhh huhh huhh. you call me back on ipad you think i give you a reservation! you will never get a reservation! table for four. [french accent] never! ♪ that's all i crave.e that's where this comes in. only nicorette gum has patented dual-coated technology for great taste. plus nicorette gum gives you intense craving relief. and that helps put my craving in its place. that's why i only choose nicorette. hit him with a hard count,ine. see if they'll tip their hand. the nfl trusts duracell quantum to their game day communication. they're blitzing up the gut! get out of the pocket! hut! duracell quantum. lasts up to 35% longer than the competition. from their favorite aunt? boy: is she here? julia: yeah. i am. girl: mom says you give fancy gifts because you don't have a boyfriend. julia: i don't have a boyfriend.
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i have lots of boyfriends. ask around. presenting estaban! girl: he's allergic to hay. julia: then don't eat the hay. jenny: ok why don't you guys look under the tree, there's one more present for everyone. julia: wait what's happening? but what about... kids: wow. thanks, mom! julia: do you always have to one up me? where did you get this stuff? jenny: old navy. they are having a sale right now with gifts for 2,4,6, and 8 dollars. julia: i gotta go. gotta go! hang on estaban, we're going shopping.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey everybody, welcome back. guys, today's friday. that's usually when i catch up with some personal stuff. you know, i check my inbox, return some e-mails and of course, i send out thank you notes. and i was just wondering. [ cheers and applause ] i'm running a bit behind today, so i thought -- i was just returning a bit behind. something went down with my grandmother and i just don't want to -- >> steve: how is your grandmother? >> jimmy: what's that? >> steve: how's your grandmother? >> jimmy: i just don't want to get into it. it's not a big deal. >> steve: are you sure? you seem -- >> jimmy: we'll go on, have a a great time. what's that? >> steve: you seem pretty busted up about your grandma. >> jimmy: it's just, around this time of year, just reminds me of what happened last year. >> steve: what happened last year? >> jimmy: it was christmas eve and -- >> steve: right. >> jimmy: i just -- i don't want to get into the it. [ laughter ] [ audience aws ] no, it's just the bells. the bells are freaking me out. they're just -- [ laughter ] >> steve: why? why would bells freak you out? i don't understand. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: last year. >> steve: yeah? >> jimmy: my grandmother got run over by a reindeer. >> steve: oh, my gosh -- [ laughter and applause ] i didn't -- i didn't --
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>> jimmy: just walking home, i guess. she was leaving. >> steve: where was this? >> jimmy: our house. >> steve: when, what night? >> jimmy: christmas eve. >> steve: oh, my gosh >> jimmy: we were just hanging out. i think, i gave her a few eggnogs. i don't know. i had a couple. i wasn't that tipsy, you know? >> steve: right. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i didn't think -- she said something about how she forget her pills. >> steve: she takes a lot of meds, yeah. >> jimmy: she was gonna -- yeah. she forget her night pills. >> steve: her night pills, yeah. so she leaves the house. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: as she was leaving -- >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: it makes me laugh, thinking about how she used to say -- [ old lady voice ] "my night pills." she used to say it funny. [ laughter ] >> steve: she was so cute when she said that. >> jimmy: she was cute when she said that. so, she went off, staggered out like, we dragged out of out the front door, like hitting the walls. i didn't look at her, you know? [ laughter ] and i went to sleep, because -- >> steve: christmas eve, sure. >> jimmy: waiting for santa. and then i woke up, next day. and went out to go get the paper. >> steve: right. [ laughter ] oh, my god. her corpse was there? her corpse was -- in the ground? >> jimmy: my grandmother's
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laying face down and i saw her and she had -- hoof marks. [ laughter ] >> steve: where? on her back? [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: she had claus marks on her back and she had hoof marks on her forehead. >> steve: oh, no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: she was topless. >> steve: oh, my gosh. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: the whole thing. her wig was blown off. >> steve: really? i hope this didn't shatter you and your grandpa's faith. >> jimmy: oh, no. we still believe. >> steve: okay. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: can i write out some weekly thank you notes, is that all right? hey, james can i get some thank you note writing music, please? thank you. ♪ [ laughter ] yeah. this is -- >> steve: what is that? [ laughter ] oh, my gosh. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, new defense secretary nominee ashton carter, for having the name of a teenage heartthrob and the haircut of a lego man. [ laughter and applause ]
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>> steve: just like this. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, gingerbread man, for being the cookie version of a a chippendale's dancer. ♪ [ rhythmic clapping ] >> steve: cinnamon. [ laughter ] >> steve: when was the funeral? >> jimmy: what's that? >> steve: when was the funeral? i didn't even hear about the funeral. >> jimmy: we had a, just a a quick thing. she was cremated and we just didn't want get to into a whole big thing. we just did a -- it wasn't a a real big funeral or anything. just, family gathered around, talked about -- what a just a a crazy thing -- >> steve: what a great lady she was. >> jimmy: she was fantastic. i keep thinking about it. we were putting the candles back and everything, away, after the -- they were blue and silver. >> seth: right. >> jimmy: it looked just like the wig that was found in the tree two blocks down. it was very windy that night. >> steve: oh, awful.
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>> jimmy: i didn't even know she wore a wig. >> steve: i didn't either. i didn't know she died. i'm sorry. >> jimmy: i sold the story to "dateline." [ laughter ] it's all in the family, nbc gets good ratings. lester holt's a friend. >> steve: exactly. keith morrison came by. >> jimmy: helped him out. keith morrison came by, just finished the interview this past weekend and -- [ imitating keith morrison ] >> steve: they found claus marks. [ laughter ] awful. again, sorry. ♪ you cremated her, right? [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: not me, personally. [ laughter ] >> steve: okay, i'm sorry. >> jimmy: yeah, it was me personally. >> steve: okay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it was a weird cremation kit i got. >> steve: saved a little bit of money. she was very frugal. >> jimmy: it was for animals. like small pets. >> steve: yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: look, i didn't know what was gonna happen. you never know what's gonna happen. i didn't know what my schedule was like. so -- piece by piece. [ laughter and applause ]
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terrible. it's terrible. don't make me talk about it. >> steve: i'm sorry. >> jimmy: don't make me talk -- just an awful thing to think about. [ laughter ] yeah. ♪ thank you, people who wear face masks in the cold weather. for making yourself feel warm while making me feel like my life is about to end. [ laughter ] don't hit my face. >> steve: it was a good choice. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, rico suave singer gerardo, for claiming to have slept with over 500 women. which explains your newest hit -- ♪ ♪ mucho herpes ♪ [ laughter and applause ]
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>> jimmy: it's a good song. >> steve: it's a great song. love that song. >> jimmy: mucho. ♪ thank you, cardigans, for being a great way to feel warm and old at the same time. [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, macaroons, for not being called gay sliders. [ laughter and applause ] they're not. >> seth: they're not called that. >> jimmy: they're called macaroons. >> steve: thankfully they're not called that. because it'd be rude. [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, holiday cards for giving me an annual update on how ugly my friend's kids are getting. [ laughter and applause ] there you guys go, right there. those are my thank you notes. we'll be right back with martin freeman, everybody. come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you know our first guest from his emmy award-winning role in the television series "sherlock." and yesterday he earned a a golden globe nomination for his work in the acclaimed series "fargo." he'll be hosting "saturday night live" tomorrow. and on december 17th, you can see him in the highly anticipated new movie, "the hobbit: the battle of the five armies," which is in imax 3d. please welcome to the show, martin freeman! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: martin freeman in the house! that's what i'm talking about! >> thank you, thank you. >> jimmy: man -- >> i couldn't help that. i couldn't help it. >> jimmy: you had to do it? you had the dance. >> it's not every day you come out to the roots. >> jimmy: no, exactly. not every day at all. but, i have to say congratulations, also, on your golden globe nomination for "fargo." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] that's exciting. >> thank you. >> jimmy: that's super cool. then also, on top of that, you're hosting "saturday night live." >> do you know show? >> jimmy: nope. i've never seen it, but i've heard of it. >> hell of a show. >> jimmy: i hear it's pretty fun. >> hell of a show. >> jimmy: "saturday night live," tomorrow night. do you know about the show? 'cause i know you're from england. >> of course, i know very much about the show. weirdly, it's still not on terrestrial tv -- >> jimmy: no, they don't have it. >> we don't get it. but, so, you know, you have to go onto the internet or buy all the dvds or whatever. but, yeah, i'm very, very aware of the show. yeah. >> jimmy: are you excited? are you ready? are you nervous? >> i'm excited. i don't know if i'm ready.
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>> jimmy: oh, yeah. no, i think you are, yeah. >> you know, it's hard. you know, it's hard work. you know, long, long hours. and i get the easy part. the writers and the other cast members, they're working pretty much around the clock. >> jimmy: oh, they're fantastic. it's going to be good. >> i hope so. i hope so. >> jimmy: definitely will. this is the time of year i think would be exciting for you. it's the holiday season. i think, if i were you, i would be stopped in the street and everyone would be like, "you're from 'love actually.' oh, my gosh." >> there's a bit of that. >> jimmy: they play that like, nonstop starting -- >> they do in the states, huh? >> jimmy: yeah. we love "love actually." [ cheers and applause ] that's a great -- great casting in that. >> thank you. no, well, yeah. it was lovely to do. >> jimmy: people come up to you and -- oh, my gosh. >> i've been asked by americans before at airports, "have you ever done anything other than 'love actually'?" [ laughter ] we love "love actually." you're amazing. have you done anything else? excuse me? >> jimmy: hello, i've done so many things. i first knew you from probably "the office", i guess. or ali g maybe?
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>> yeah, we did them about the same time. the ali g movie came out about a year after the first "office." >> jimmy: yeah, first "office." you were amazing that and then "sherlock." i mean, the bbc "sherlock" -- [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: and then, of course, the biggest thing of all time, "the hobbit." [ cheers and applause ] >> can you just keep saying things that people keep cheering? >> jimmy: yeah. pizza. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> thank you. >> jimmy: taco. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ mucho. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] herpes! ♪ >> don't get me started. >> jimmy: no, i won't get you started on that. >> my brain's doing all sorts of things now. >> jimmy: don't do that. don't do that. don't do that. but here we are. this is the biggest movie ever. we were joking backstage. you said that you were a little upset that you were not in the "harry potter" films? because you're in a giant franchise. you're in "the hobbit." it's one of the biggest movies of all-time. >> for a long time, i was one of seven british actors who was
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not in harry potter. [ laughter ] so i was feeling -- come out and -- yeah, yeah, "harry potter." i was already an adult by the time they were coming out, so i didn't get quite their appeal. and i hadn't read the books. and it was only when i became a a dad and they started -- you know, my children being interested in them that i thought, oh, these are great and they're fun, and i love watching them as a family thing. but for a long time it was me and six other people going -- staring through the window, like, you know -- >> jimmy: you forgot about us. absolutely. how old are your kids? >> six and nine. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. that's so cute. so you're reading to them now. congratulations on that. >> thank you. >> jimmy: but, i mean, are they excited dad is the hobbit? do they get to see these or no? >> no, they do. there are some bits that are a a little bit dicey. big spiders in this series. there are some scary bits, and some of it is kind of dark. >> jimmy: trust me. i get scared, yeah. absolutely. [ laughter ] >> there is, as they say, "mild peril." but they're very proud -- proud that their dad is in it. yes. >> jimmy: yeah. also 3d, imax.
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imagine being a nine-year-old walking into an imax. >> i've not even seen it in imax. >> jimmy: really? >> have you seen -- you haven't seen it? >> jimmy: yes, of course i've seen it. absolutely, yeah. you're amazing in imax. much bigger. much bigger. yeah, yeah. but it's unbelievable. you submerse into this world and it surrounds you. it's just the most fun thing in the world. they're kind of made for these giant screens. >> they sort of are. i think what peter jackson's strength is, though, as a a filmmaker -- as well as working on that scale and the epic nature of it -- he always wants you to care about characters. always wants you to care about story. so in the midst of a huge battle sequence, or whatever, some of the best choreographed battle scenes i've ever seen -- he will always come back to the eyes, you know? and the cost of this violence and the cost of this battle. it's not just the sort of boys shoot 'em up movie or whatever. it's always still about character. >> jimmy: and this is the last one. right? >> it is. the third of the three. unless you know something i don't. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, i do.
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there's going to about movie -- it's a surf movie. it gets weird. but it's still in imax, so it's going to be fun. the hobbit surfing is really fun. no, but this is it. this is the final -- are you sad? a little emotional? bittersweet? >> no, i'm not sad. the last day of shooting got kind of emotional. but saying good-bye to people realizing, you know, you'd spent on and off 2 1/2 years of your life with those people. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, because from beginning to end it was 2 1/2 years. >> jimmy: a great cast of people. ian mckellen. >> lovely. amazing, yeah, amazing. lovely cast and crew. yeah. as you're saying good-bye and you realize, god, this is it now. that's slightly emotional. but really it's just relief that you can now share it with an audience. >> jimmy: yeah, i want to show everyone a clip here. this is martin freeman in "the hobbit: the battle of the five armies." take a look at this. >> my lord, dispatch this force to ravenhill. the dwarfs are about to be overrun. thorin must be warned. >> by all means warn him. i've spent enough elvish blood in defense of this accursed land.
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no more. >> thranduil. >> i'll go. >> don't be ridiculous. you'll never make it. >> why not? >> because they will see you coming and kill you. >> no, they won't. they won't see me. >> it's out of the question. i won't allow it. >> i'm not asking you to allow it, gandalf. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, it's fun. it's fun. it's a great, big, exciting movie. martin, we like to play games with our guests on the show, when we have them on the show. and i was just wondering if you'd like to play one with us. it involves antlers and rings. >> i'd love to, please, yes. >> jimmy: there we go. more with martin freeman when we come back. playing a game! it's fun! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. i'm here with martin freeman. [ cheers and applause ] and we are playing a game of "antler ring toss." it works like this -- we're going to stand on opposite sides of the studio. each of us wearing these antler helmets and holding a bunch of brightly colored rings. >> oh, god. >> jimmy: we're going to take turns tossing the rings at one another's antlers. the first one to hook three rings on their opponent wins. >> great. >> jimmy: are you very competitive man? >> reasonably. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: here we go. are you ready for "antler ring toss"? >> who, me? >> jimmy: yeah. >> oh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yes! >> that's the entire reason i came. >> jimmy: okay, let's do this. all right, here we go. ready? [ cheers ] you go first. >> okay. >> jimmy: after you. ♪ [ audience ohs ] [ cheers ]
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[ laughter ] ♪ [ audience ohs ] ♪ >> that was awful, awful. >> jimmy: no, it wasn't. there's no reason that you should be good at this. [ laughter ] >> come on, martin! oh. and there's every reason you should be good at it. >> jimmy: that is true. [ audience ohs ] ♪ >> jimmy: it feels good. it feels powerful. ♪ ♪ [ audience ohs ] >> i think they're getting faster.
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ohh. >> jimmy: moving target. >> hey! ♪ [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: all right. come on. [ laughter ] sorry, sorry. that was -- >> oh, man. >> jimmy: okay. yes! the tiniest -- the hardest one! [ cheers and applause ] oh, you're a good man. that's what i'm talking about! martin freeman, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] "the hobbit: the battle of the five armies" is in theaters everywhere december 17th. megan mullally joins us next, everybody. martin freeman! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ julia: who's ready for their favorite present from their favorite aunt? boy: is she here? julia: yeah. i am. girl: mom says you give fancy gifts because you don't have a boyfriend. julia: i don't have a boyfriend.
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even the chance to meet gwen stefani. ♪ let's spark the fire. cool hair ah! haha priceless. ♪ everybody let's go! it's customer appreciation at subway! we're saying thanks with two of your favorite six-inch sandwiches for $2 each! the meatball marinara and the cold cut combo. join our customer appreciation celebration today. subway. eat fresh. i hear you're quite the expert at waking people up in the morning.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a two-time emmy award winning actress who you can see in the new hit broadway show, "it's only a play," at the gerald schoenfeld theatre. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome megan mullally! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you look beautiful. welcome. thank you for being on the
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show. i appreciate this. >> thanks for having me. >> jimmy: oh, please. i should say, before we even start -- i wanted to say how great you were in "alexander and the horrible, terrible -- >> "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day." thanks. >> gosh, you were so funny in that. >> oh, thank you. >> jimmy: i mean, we don't see each other that often, so i can tell you this stuff. >> well, that's very nice of you. i only worked on it for a a couple of days, but it was really fun to do. great director, and -- >> jimmy: you just hit a home run. it was just so funny. >> jennifer garner told me she was afraid of me. >> jimmy: why? >> because i played a really mean character. >> jimmy: no, you're so funny. she was not really afraid. >> i think she was kidding. >> jimmy: oh, definitely. >> i hope. because she's really nice. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: she's really nice. but it's good to see you. we've known each other a long time. >> i know, i know. >> jimmy: where, we first met -- >> well, i met you first -- molly shannon's last show, they had a party for her up on the rooftop of something. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> yeah, yeah. and we were chatting. you were being very friendly. [ laughter ] and i had just started dating mr. nick offerman and -- [ cheers and applause ] we were a new romance at that point.
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and he came, like, barreling over to like break it up. so i don't know. i don't know. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did he really? >> i don't know if he thought -- i think he thought something was happening. >> jimmy: wow. >> but i don't think we did. i think maybe he did. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how is he doing? how is nick? >> he's great. he's shooting -- they're shooting their last episode of "parks and rec." >> jimmy: oh my gosh. >> tomorrow's their last day. [ audience aws ] >> jimmy: is it tomorrow? oh, really, really? oh, gosh. yeah, everyone's going to be emotional. >> yeah. >> jimmy: there's so many fun, nice people on that cast. >> i know. it's the best cast. >> jimmy: we love them so much. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you're on broadway. this is very, very exciting. >> i am. >> jimmy: this is a big deal. it's super fun. i mean, everyone's talking about this. you're shattering records. it's matthew broderick. it's nathan lane. it's megan mullally. you get to see you guys all acting. it's super funny. i can't wait to see it. i've just heard. >> yeah, come see it. i'm in it for three more weeks. so hurry! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, exactly, yeah. but you're just shattering records. it's not the first time that you've been on broadway.
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but do you remember the first time going to see a broadway play? >> yes, it's kind of crazy because the first broadway play i saw, i was 16, and it was in the exact same theater where we're doing this play now. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah. it used to be called the plymouth, and now it's called the schoenfeld. which is a much more poetic name for a theater, of course. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> but anyway, it was "equus." it was this play called "equus," and it was the big thing at the time. that was, you know, in the '70s. and my parents took me. and it was this really serious show. and at the very end, the lead guy -- who was this young kind of cute guy -- takes off all of his clothes and jumps up and down. and i have never seen a man naked. and so there's a lot of things happening. there was a lot of like -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> kind of this action. like it was just very -- yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: we'll have to bleep that out, yeah. we'll have to blur that out on television. were your parents -- >> i couldn't make heads or tails of it, so to speak. [ laughter ] and i had no idea what was going on.
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i was just -- i was like this. and my mom knew that i'd never seen -- we're with my mom and my dad, you know? my dad's like freaking out. my mom got very -- we started giggling. we couldn't stop. like overcome. because she knew that i'd never seen a naked man. and we literally ruined the entire like dramatic apex of the play for the entire audience. >> jimmy: that was supposed to be a big dramatic scene where the guy's jumping up and down? >> yes, and his name was peter firth. so he was my firth. >> jimmy: he was your first. he was your first peter. he was your first peter, really. [ laughter and applause ] >> oh my god! yeah. >> jimmy: we had to do it. up top, man. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: now, this guy here -- it's kind of inside baseball, we should tell everyone. this is almost about people waiting to see a broadway show open, right? "it's only a play." >> it's like right after the -- the opening night of what's supposed to be the big broadway smash hit of the year. it's just directly following the performance.
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and there's an opening-night party. and my character -- i'm the producer of the play -- kind of slightly dim-witted producer of the play. in my fabulous penthouse apartment. and we're all nervously waiting for the reviews. specifically the "new york times" review to come out. >> jimmy: which really makes or breaks a play. what if the "times" say it's a a hit or it's a flop. >> exactly. and i, in real life, pretty much almost exactly disagree every single time. what they don't like, i love, and vice versa. i don't know what that means. i guess i'm not very smart. >> jimmy: no, it's perfect. but the title is always tricky too. people go, what's the name of the play? >> "it's only a play." people are like, "no, what's the name of it?" i'm like, "it's only a play." they say, yeah, but -- >> jimmy: what is it? >> it's not a musical, but what's the name of the play? >> jimmy: who's on first? >> it's like who's on first. i'm so sick of it. >> jimmy: no, no, no. come on, now. this is fun, and you love it. you look forward to saying it. >> no, i'm sick of saying that because it's so confusing.
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>> jimmy: no, because -- >> i'll just carry this around with me. >> jimmy: yeah, you can do it. and it carry it around. it's very exciting to do that. >> no, it's great. it's just hard to explain. >> jimmy: terrence -- >> terrence mcnally wrote it, and jack o'brien directed it. nathan lane, matthew broderick. >> jimmy: i mean, come on. go see her. only three more weeks, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i'm so excited. i want to come see you. i'm, going to surprise you. say hi to nick. best to nick. megan mullally, everybody. go see her on broadway. "it's only a play" at the gerald schoenfeld theatre. we'll be right back with music from yusuf "cat stevens," everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ get ready for some german engineered holiday excitement.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a member of the rock and roll hall of fame and is in the midst of his first u.s. tour in more than 35 years. he's here tonight to perform "you are my sunshine" from his latest album "tell 'em i'm gone." please welcome back to the show, yusuf cat stevens! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ you are my sunshine my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are gray ♪ ♪ you never know how much i love you please don't take my sunshine away ♪ ♪ ♪ the other night as i lay sleeping i dreamt a light entered my heart ♪ ♪ when i awoke found i was mistaken ah, but the curtains were still blown apart ♪ ♪ ♪ you are my sunshine
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my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are gray ♪ ♪ you never know how much i love you please don't take my sunshine away ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ my mama once told me what the soul should know it's about the devil how i hate him so ♪ ♪ and he'll be crying if we don't frown and keep on smiling
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he'll stop hanging around ♪ ♪ you are my sunshine my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are gray ♪ ♪ you never know how much i love you please don't take my sunshine away ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yusuf cat stevens! see him live sunday in los angeles. visit thetonightshow.com for an exclusive bonus performance. my thanks to martin freeman, megan mullally, yusuf cat stevens and the roots right there, ladies and
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gentlemen! stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great weekend. hope to see you next week. bye-bye, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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