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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  December 25, 2014 11:34pm-12:37am EST

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>> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- whoopi goldberg, rashida jones, chef tom colicchio
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and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: gobble, gobble. >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: happy thanksgiving! thank you so much, everybody. that's what i'm talking about. welcome to "the tonight show," everybody. happy thanksgiving, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] happy thanksgiving.
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i hope you all had a great meal with your family and that all your siblings are doing just a a little bit worse than you are. i just really -- [ laughter ] "pass the bar. i mean gravy. i passed the bar. it doesn't matter, doesn't matter." of course, today was the macy's thanksgiving day parade. oh, man. you know, i can still remember when i was a kid, sitting on my dad's shoulders so i could see everything. my dad saying, "why the hell are we doing this, when we're just watching tv?" [ laughter and applause ] it felt exciting, you know? everybody loves the macy's parade. this year, kids got to see elmo and big bird and the power rangers. unfortunately, they were all times square performers being led away in handcuffs. [ laughter ] but still, the kids got to see them and wave to them as they were going into the police car. they're really nice. there were actually six new balloons in this year's parade, including pickachu and the red mighty morphin' power ranger. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: yeah. those are the -- those are the two new balloons. [ laughter ]
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guess they came before and after the spin doctors float. ♪ if you wanna call me baby just go ahead now ♪ and if you want to tell me maybe ♪ [ cheers and applause ] we've got a new balloon this year, little orphan annie. >> steve: and felix the cat. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: andy capp. kids love andy capp. there were a lot of new balloons this year. there was also thomas the tank engine and the pillsbury doughboy. but the real crowd-pleaser, as you'd expect, was the new butterball turkey balloon. check this one out. isn't that cool? [ laughter ] it was fun. that was great. i'm sorry, can we see that again? that's the kim kardashian balloon, i apologize. [ cheers and applause ] #broketheparade. #broketheparade, everybody. [ laughter ] it's 2014, you guys. get with it. >> steve: oh, my gosh.
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>> jimmy: you guys, get this. a restaurant here in new york city is offering a a nine-course thanksgiving dinner package that came with dance lessons, a shopping spree and grandstand seating at the macy's parade for $35,000. [ audience woos ] it's the perfect gift for a a husband to give to his wife and her gay best friend. [ laughter ] they can enjoy dancing and shopping. guys, i don't know if you guys are going shopping tomorrow, trying to get some good deals. but i just read that millennials -- you know, people between 18 and 29, they're called millennials. [ cheers ] that's my millennials, the fallennials. >> steve: it's millennials. >> jimmy: it's the fallennials. yeah, they're my -- people who are fans of "the tonight show" that are between the ages of 18 and 29 -- >> steve: are fallennials. >> jimmy: -- they're most likely to shop in stores for black friday because they like the experience. also so next year they can and try top grandpa's stories about being in an actual war. [ laughter ] "i spent years in a foxhole." like, "yeah, well, i had to wrestle a nun for ear buds, so --
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kind of the same?" [ laughter and applause ] this is just crazy. i heard that competitive eater joey chestnut ate more than nine pounds of turkey to win a a turkey-eating contest last weekend. [ scattered cheers ] that's great. he would have celebrated, but he fell asleep for two days. [ laughter ] we'll find out when he's awake. they found him drooling with his pants unbuckled. >> steve: really? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: a lot of people around here you guys are very, very excited about this. lottery officials here in new york were searching for the owner of a winning $1 million powerball ticket before it expires on december 11th. but me? i don't need to check my lottery tickets because i've already won the greatest prize of all -- you guys. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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so, listen to this, you guys, it's rumored that a -- [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] -- it's rumored that the trailer for the new "star wars" film will be featured before the next "hobbit" movie in december -- [ laughter ] then, "hobbit" fans say -- [ laughter ] "oh, great now the theater is going to be full of nerds." and, you know, you go, come on. give me a break. guys, look. [ laughter ] >> steve: i know you think my baby takes the morning train. >> jimmy: hey, guys. hey, important information here, all right? alert. [ laughter ] if you're thinking about visiting venice, italy, any time soon -- >> steve: right. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: apparently tourists in venice can face up to $600 fines for having noisy suitcases with loud wheels.
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residents were like, "we are fed up these-a loud-a noises, with all the rolling around with the suitcases! what's going on over here? i cannot-a hear you!" [ indistinct yelling ] i'm going to sleep! why you awake-a? all the wheels-a! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] $600 fine. well, this is the nice thing to think about this time of year. according to a new study, the u.s. is tied with myanmar for being the world's most generous country. [ audience aws ] the u.s. said, "you know what? you guys can have the title." [ laughter and applause ] and myammar said "thanks" and the u.s. was like, "ha, that was a trick! we're the champs! that's right! we're the most generous ever, got it?" [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: we have a great show. it's the thanksgiving show! give it up, give some thanks for the roots, everybody! ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. thank you for watching, everybody. we're so happy here. we have a great show tonight. who better to celebrate thanksgiving with than one of our favorite people? whoopi goldberg is here! [ cheers and applause ] she's in the movie "top five" and you know her from "the view." also, another one of our favorites. we love it when she comes to visit. our buddy rashida jones is stopping by! >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're talking about the new nbc show that she produces called "a to z." and there might be a holiday medley. maybe. [ audience oohs ] never happened before. >> steve: ever. >> jimmy: ever. >> steve: never. >> jimmy: you never know what's going to happen. >> steve: it's crazy. >> jimmy: it's just -- the whole thing is insane. >> steve: just giving thanks. >> jimmy: thank you. >> steve: thank you. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: also, guys, we're going to be cooking. what are you going to do with these turkey leftovers? you got all these leftovers. "oh, make a sandwich." yeah, i know. we got that.
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we have different ideas. we got a genius here tonight. cooking up some turkey leftovers with chef tom colicchio, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] top chef! he knows what he's talking about! >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: sandwiches, please. that's easy. i don't know. i don't know. today is thanksgiving. you know, it's a day of giving thanks. so, i thought, you know, what better day to write out my weekly "thank you notes" than tonight? is that -- [ cheers and applause ] i appreciate it. you guys are the best. hey, james, i love you, man. can i get some "thank you note" writing music? ♪ >> steve: hey. he was smiling and now -- >> jimmy: now, he's like -- he's listening to sheena easton in his head, you can tell. [ laughter ] ♪ my baby takes the morning train ♪ >> steve: we can hear his song. ♪ he works from 9 till 5 ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: weird thing. it's a weird lighting thing. his face -- if you're here -- [ laughter ]
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lighting thing. we've got to fix the lighting here. >> steve: wow. you're wearing a tie. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, thanksgiving, for being a day to spend time with your family. and thank you, football, napping and alcohol for providing me with the only way to make that tolerable. [ laughter and applause ] ♪ thank you, vice president joe biden, for meeting with leaders from turkey this week. and then having to apologize for cramming stuffing into their butts. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: whoa, hey! >> jimmy: biden! get in here! >> steve: can you pardon them? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, we can't pardon them. ♪ thank you, the pillsbury doughboy balloon in the thanksgiving day parade, for looking like the love child of baymax and a nirvana album cover. [ laughter and applause ]
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[ imitating doughbioy laugh ] >> steve: nothing says loving. [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, yams, for sounding like sofia vergara trying to say "jams." [ laughter ] [ as sofia vergara ] "i love this station! they play all my favorites yams! was that yock yams?" [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: yim yames. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, people who offer to bring the cranberry sauce to thanksgiving, for basically saying, "i'm really good at using a can opener." [ laughter and applause ] we've got that covered. [ flatulent noises ] [ laughter ] [ flatulent noises ] [ squeaking ]
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[ gibberish ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, turkey basters, for not being called bird squirters. [ laughter ] >> steve: i got to pick up a a bird squirter. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, people who ask to borrow tupperware for thanksgiving leftovers, for basically asking, "hey, can i have some of your tupperware forever?" [ laughter and applause ] you'll never see that again. >> steve: yeah, that's gone. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, dogs, for making grandma think everyone ate her green bean casserole. there you go. thank you so much. there you have it. those are my "thank you notes." we'll be back with more of the "the tonight show"!
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ my name's louis, and i quit smoking with chantix. i had tried to do it in the past. i hadn't been successful. quitting smoking this time was different because i got a prescription for chantix. along with support, chantix (varenicline) is proven to help people quit smoking. the fact that it reduced the urge to smoke helped me get that confidence that i could do it. some people had changes in behavior, thinking or mood, hostility, agitation, depressed mood and suicidal thoughts or actions while taking or after stopping chantix. some people had seizures while taking chantix. if you notice any of these, stop chantix and call your doctor right away. tell your doctor about any history of mental health problems, which could get worse while taking chantix or history of seizures. don' take chantix if you've had a serious allergic or skin reaction to it. if you develop these, stop chantix and see your doctor right away as some can be life-threatening. tell your doctor if you have a history of heart or blood vessel problems, or develop new or worse symptoms.
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get medical help right away if you have symptoms of a heart attack or stroke. decrease alcohol use while taking chantix. use caution when driving or operating machinery. common side effects include nausea, trouble sleeping and unusual dreams. i love myself as a non-smoker. ask your doctor if chantix is right for you. lenny: oh you got here early... julia: no, i've been here all night. these are my new year's resolutions. i'm going to be the prettiest girl in all the land. lenny: then you should get to old navy's after-holiday sale. everything is up to 75% off. julia: 75% off? get out of my way!!!! get out of my way!!!! a piece of cheese. a simple act can forge a connection with the barkeep. and i'm making a metaphor for you. cheese, in this situation, equals money. just tip your bartender. ♪
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before she bought something for her husband... something for buster... and a little something for herself, nancy grabbed her iphone 6 so she could pay with her bank of america card using apple pay. the new, easy, secure, smart way to pay with a simple touch. that's the convenience of innovative connections. that's bank of america.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody! happy, happy thanksgiving, everybody. happy thanksgiving. you know, 2014 has been a great year in music. but as much as i've loved all the songs from this year, there's nothing i love more than holiday music. whenever i hear it, it just makes me wanna sing, you know? and i just -- >> hey, jimmy. [ cheers and applause ] are you thinking what i'm thinking? >> jimmy: hey, rashida. wait, wait, wait. are you saying change the words of popular songs to make them about thanksgiving and also about hanukkah and christmas? [ cheers ] >> yes. >> jimmy: let's do this! [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ ♪ first course first i'mma eat it get seconds then i go reheat it ♪ ♪ and everything is so delicious so don't clear my plate until all my turkey's finished ♪ ♪ i'm so hungry you already know so pass the stuffing and the green bean casserole ♪ ♪ i'm so hungry did you taste these rolls don't skimp on the mashed potato-o-oes ♪ ♪ yeah my mama she cooked me a turkey with all the sides ooh wop-bop ba-ooh wop-wop ♪ ♪ then she made me some cranberry sauce and then 12 pumpkin pies ooh wop-bop ba-ooh wop-wop ♪ ♪ because you know i'm gonna gain some weight gain some weight need sweatpants ♪ ♪ i'm gonna gain some weight gain some weight need sweatpants ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ oh, won't you drink with me i hate my family ♪
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♪ they're insane it's plain to see so won't you drink with me ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ stuff a duck inside a turkey's butt turducken for what turducken for what ♪ ♪ ♪ turducken for [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you know what to do on this hanukkah dreidel dreidel dreidel dreidel dreidel dreidel ♪ ♪ my secret santa don't my secret santa don't my secret santa don't want none ♪ ♪ unless you got gifts, hon ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i've got a special thing i like to drink i like to drink it when it's christmastime ♪
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♪ just take some nutmeg and some cinnamon and then you mix it up it tastes so fine ♪ ♪ egg nog into your mug just add some whiskey egg nog getting you drunk i'm feelin' tipsy ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ mistletoe mistletoe i just bought a bunch from the store ♪ ♪ mistletoe mistletoe i'm gonna hang it from my door ♪ ♪ i don't care who i kiss today let your tongue stick out ♪ ♪ cold sores never bothered me anyway ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: butterball. [ laughter and applause ] ♪
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>> christmas ball. ♪ he had a big red suit with a sack full of loot and eight reindeer in the sleigh ♪ ♪ had a big round belly like a bowl full of jelly and he came through christmas day ♪ ♪ >> santa claus! ♪ ♪ >> questlove: santa claus! ♪ >> jimmy: hey santa! ♪ you guys, rashida jones, the roots. happy holidays! stick around, we'll be right back ladies and gentlemen! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] people across america are taking advantage of sprint's cut your bill in half event. what's that in your hand? um... my at&t bill.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is an oscar, an emmy, a tony and a a grammy-award winner. she also co-hosts abc's "the view" and starting december 12th, you can see her in the new chris rock movie "top five." oh, my gosh, it's so funny. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, whoopi goldberg! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> wow, wow, wow! oh, my gosh! >> jimmy: whoopi! whoopi goldberg!
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[ cheers and applause ] >> ah. hi! >> jimmy: it is so nice to see you, whoopi. >> it's nice to be seen! oh, my gosh! >> jimmy: i love you. what did you bring me? what did you bring on thanksgiving of all -- >> it's thanksgiving and i brought you a black turkey. >> jimmy: thank you so much. [ laughter and applause ] a black turkey. >> i try to -- i try to carve turkeys to look like myself. [ light laughter ] so, i brought you this. >> jimmy: it's a black turkey. this is a giant -- this is a a chocolate -- >> it's a giant -- here, you have to -- >> jimmy: a chocolate turkey. >> the great folks, a friend of mine's mom makes these. it's a company called hebert. look at her. look at that. >> jimmy: oh, yes. [ cheers and applause ] who made this? >> hebert's candies. they actually -- i believe were one of the first companies to bring white chocolate into the united states. i think this, but, i could, you know, i think a lot of stuff
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that is coming from somewhere else. >> jimmy: yeah, you just go on wikipedia to make stuff up, yeah, yeah. >> but my friend -- >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. this is gorgeous. you always bring me something so cool and different and fun. >> well, i keep trying to outdo myself. but i knew i couldn't come up here butt naked, so i thought i'd bring you -- >> jimmy: and we've asked you numerous times to do that. >> you have requested to be naked many times. >> jimmy: wow, this is like almost -- is this solid? >> it's solid dark chocolate. >> jimmy: it's the real deal. the roots will be eating this after the show, man. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: and we've enough to go around for the whole audience, too. >> yeah, i think so. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. >> thank you, baby. >> jimmy: thank you for this. i appreciate it. happy thanksgiving. >> happy thanksgiving. >> jimmy: do you cook on thanksgiving? >> yes, it's the one of two times that i ever cook. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what is the other time? >> christmas. >> jimmy: yeah. so, thanksgiving and christmas. >> christmas, yes. >> jimmy: what do you make on thanksgiving? >> i make turkey. i make it the way my mom made it, which is you put it in at 9:00 and you get up all through the night and you baste it. and it's really moist and
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delicious. and when you wake up, you smell it in the house. and it reminds me of my mom. and it reminds me of my big brother, who i love and adore. hi, clyde. >> jimmy: it's the greatest. isn't it fun? >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's a fun, festive day. >> listen -- i don't know about everybody else, but with all that's been going on in the world, i need some holidays. i think everybody needs -- you know? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i need something. i need something. >> i just -- i just wanna -- >> jimmy: i want to laugh and smile. >> just a little bit, you know? i know there's bad stuff in the world. but damn can i just have five minutes of rejoicing that my family is here, my friends are here? i just want to give that for a a minute and then i'll go back to being mad about stuff and trying to fight stuff. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> i just need a minute. >> jimmy: just give us a a minute. that's all we're asking for. >> i don't want to look mad or anything, but i want a minute. >> jimmy: no, exactly! everyone, just take one minute. >> yeah. >> jimmy: right now. no -- >> call somebody you like. >> jimmy: yeah, just call
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someone you love. >> you know what? go to your windows right now. >> jimmy: let's do this. >> open up the window, yell out the window, "i just need a a minute!" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. let's do it on the count of five. ready? five, four, three, two -- i just need a minute! that's all! let's get that all over the place. hashtag it. get it trending. "i just need a minute." >> yeah, i just need a minute. [ applause ] >> jimmy: you really do. i love it. i love that you said that. thank you. >> well, because, you know, when i was a little kid, holidays -- my mom made sure because we didn't have any money. she made sure that we felt like we were millionaires because we had each other. we had the little turkey, you know? >> jimmy: i never had turkey. >> you don't like turkey? >> jimmy: oh, i love turkey. i said we never had it until thanksgiving, you know? >> well, nobody ate turkey until thanksgiving! [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: we'll have turkey for dinner on thanksgiving. >> they were mad. turkeys were mad for years because no one paid any attention to them. and when they weren't looking, here we come, trying to get them -- put them on the table. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. get them on there. >> you know? but it was like, you know? and then you had time. you know, you had some time. put down your -- >> jimmy: gadgets and things -- >> --phones and your gadgets. just talk to somebody. it's hard, i know. i know. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do it. just make it a day. >> one day a year. >> jimmy: one day a year, just talk to the family. >> talk to them. look them in the eye. >> jimmy: talk to your family. >> see who has bad breath and then tell them. [ laughter ] that's just me, you know? >> jimmy: let's talk about your family. i expect you've been so busy, busy, busy. >> yes. >> jimmy: your daughter, your beautiful daughter, has a a reality show? >> that crazy girl. yes, yes, yes. >> jimmy: a reality show? >> she has a reality show. >> jimmy: now, what is it called? >> i think it's called "according to alex." >> jimmy: alex, okay. so, it's alex. it's "according to alex." >> yes.
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>> jimmy: they just started shooting it just recently? >> yeah, they did. i guess they've been shooting since -- actually, since my birthday. i went to vegas, which is something i do each year, to celebrate my birthday. and -- because my oldest granddaughter also is born on the same day, you know. most kids who have a baby will give you, you know -- maybe for your birthday, they give you a a belt or something. but my kid gave me a baby. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] how nice is that, see? >> and now, the baby is like -- 25. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] >> and has a baby. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah. the very strange charlie roe. >> jimmy: that's right, that's right. >> she's a gorgeous kid. >> jimmy: last time you were here we saw pictures. >> yes, yes. speaking of which, i digress. baby good? >> jimmy: the baby's fantastic. thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] >> so, we go and we do this thing. she says, "well, i've been working on this thing and we're going to do a reality show." i said, "when you say 'we' --"
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> " -- who are you talking about?" >> jimmy: yeah, because i ain't having it. >> all of them over there in los angeles. and it's the craziest group of people. i mean, i love them all. they're very strange. they're best friends and they're just weird. you'll see. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. we're all weird. i feel like you watch these shows and you're like, "oh, yeah, i could do one of these things." >> yeah, but they're weirder. and my daughter is really funny, like, biting funny. and so, she and her best friend are always trying to figure out -- and they've been doing this without cameras -- but they've been trying to figure out because they've raised their kids, what should we do? because we're women of a a certain age. this is them. oh, well, let's go skydiving. >> jimmy: no, yeah, no. >> black people don't skydive. >> jimmy: no, no, no. >> no. [ laughter ] how many pictures have you seen of happy black people falling out of planes? none. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how is your other family? how is everyone on "the view"? you've got a couple rosies -- >> couple of rosies and a a nicole. >> jimmy: and a nicole, which is great.
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>> and it's fun. you know, look, we have some fun. we talk about stuff. we talk about bizarre stuff sometimes. and sometimes we talk about really heavy stuff and sometimes we don't agree and it's kind of great. >> jimmy: that's why we watch you guys. that's why it's called "the view." it's not the "same view." >> well, that's what i thought. but, you know, sometimes people get all freaked out. >> jimmy: oh, don't get freaked out, guys. it's a show where people have views. >> well, i had to check people a couple of days ago. >> jimmy: yeah, you did. >> i did. >> jimmy: you have to. >> yes. >> jimmy: that's part of the game. >> --on me. >> jimmy: no, that's all whoopi. >> unless you got a check. >> jimmy: nobody puts whoopi in the corner. you know that. >> no, no! >> jimmy: nobody puts whoopi in the corner. [ cheers and applause ] >> no. >> jimmy: we've got your back. >> thank you. because i don't like the corner. >> jimmy: then, you're also doing "top five." >> yeah, oh, yes. >> jimmy: gosh, "top five." this is chris rock's new movie. man, oh, man, he went for it on this one. >> he has done such a a magnificent job. >> jimmy: this is the one. >> that you just go, "oh, thank god!" >> jimmy: it's funny. >> i mean, it's wet your pants funny all the way through. no, it is. >> jimmy: it's great. oh, my goodness. >> you don't even have to be a a woman of a certain age. [ laughter ]
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you will just -- you know? no, because, come on. >> jimmy: no, i know what you're saying, yeah. >> you know. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you're going to be 34. if you had a baby, you're wetting your pants, sorry. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hey, it's -- there's one scene in particular that a a lot of people are talking about. it's a strip club scene, but it's you, jerry seinfeld, adam sandler and chris rock. >> and chris rock, yeah. >> jimmy: let me tell you something, it is insane. is it improvised? is that scripted? >> it's improvised. it's improvised and he -- you don't know half the stuff that happened on that set. but it's very funny. but for me, the greatest scene in this movie is cedric the entertainer. that's all i'm going to tell you. you -- >> jimmy: no, i know. cedric the entertainer. no, i love that guy, too. the hotel hangers made me laugh. >> yes, absolutely. >> jimmy: every little bit you'll see, but gosh, it's funny. >> yeah, it's fantastic. >> jimmy: but it was produced by kanye and jay-z.
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>> apparently, yes. >> jimmy: yes. [ light laughter ] and chris, and chris rock. but also, i want to say the music was supervised -- >> by -- i'm sorry, was it you, baby? >> jimmy: executive music producer, questlove! >> questlove. [ cheers and applause ] yeah! ♪ >> jimmy: no, you can't play that for yourself. you can't play his own da-da music. it's a visual ta-da. >> how about ta-wang? >> jimmy: ta-wang! ♪ >> there you go. >> jimmy: yeah, there you go. >> jimmy: i want to show everyone a clip of the very funny whoopi goldberg with chris rock. this is "top five," is the movie. check it out. >> so, how are you doing? >> i'm all right. i mean, all that stuff that's on tv, that was -- that was just for the show. i'm not really drinking. >> okay. i got married a lot of times. you've been at several of my weddings. so, i always knew that wasn't what i was into. i wasn't into the wedding and everyone knew it. i should have been into the guy, as you should be into the girl.
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>> jimmy: see? that's good. [ cheers and applause ] you're giving him advice. >> yeah. >> jimmy: a little -- a little marital advice there. >> i'm working it out because i'm in the midst of writing a a relationship book. >> jimmy: in real life? >> in real life. because i just listen to people say dumb stuff and it freaks me out. i don't get it. like, they say, "well, you know, i wanted the guy to -- i need a man around the house to like do stuff for me." what do you need him to do that you can't do? because if you're waiting for him to do it, you're dumb! [ laughter ] learn how to do it yourself and then you don't have to wait. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's a preview. that's just a snippet of the book. whoopi goldberg, you guys. we love you so much. happy thanksgiving. "the view" airs weekdays on abc. "top five" is in theaters december 12th. rashida jones joins us next. come on back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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[ kevin ] this is connolly, cameron, zach, and clementine. we have a serious hairball issue. we clean it up, turn around, and there it is again. it's scary. little bit in my eye. [ michelle ] underneath the kitchen table, underneath my work desk, we've got enough to knit a sweater. [ doorbell rings ] zach, what is that? the swiffer sweeper. the swiffer dusters. it's some sort of magic cloth that sucks in all the dog hair. it's quick and easy. pretty amazing that it picked it all up. i would totally take on another dog. [ kevin ] really? ♪ [ kevin ] really? have a cuervo. have a sensitive side. just don't have any regrets. cuervo. have a story. too bad some cash back cards only let you earn bonus cash back at a few places.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you know our next guest this evening from hit movies like "the social network" and "celeste & jesse forever." she is also the executive producer of "a to z." it's a smart, very funny show it's at 9:30 pm thursdays here on nbc. please welcome back to the show one of our favorites, rashida jones everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: rashida, welcome to the "tonight show." >> thank you. >> jimmy: you look gorgeous as always. >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you for doing that bit earlier when we sang. >> are you kidding? it's like the highlight of my year. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so fun. >> i love it. >> jimmy: we've done it now every thanksgiving that i've been on television. >> yeah.
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>> jimmy: late night television. >> yeah. >> jimmy: every thanksgiving we get together. >> it's tradition. >> jimmy: it's a tradition, yeah. so thank you for doing that. >> my pleasure. >> jimmy: i don't know if people know you got the chops. you got the props. you can do it. >> i got the chops, i got the props, i got the roots. >> jimmy: i mean, come on. [ cheers and applause ] >> i can't go wrong. >> jimmy: wait, there's a a certain thing i have to talk to you that i know you can't talk about. so i'm going to bring it up, and you can just sit there. >> wait. >> jimmy: and sit there and you have to react. >> i was saying today that i feel like there's some sort of sign of success is when you can't talk about things. >> jimmy: yeah. >> like, that's when you're like, i made it, because i can't talk about it, you know. like if you're in the cia, yeah, i'm sure, but like. >> jimmy: but i know you. i know you can't talk about this. >> i know. >> jimmy: your mom is peggy lipton. >> she is. >> jimmy: she was on "twin peaks." >> i can talk about that. my mom's peggy lipton. [ laughter ] that part i can talk about. >> jimmy: yeah, that part you can talk about. but she was on "twin peaks." >> yes. >> jimmy: and i heard a rumor that "twin peaks" ia coming back and they're getting the whole gang back together and everyone's going to be back for the new "twin peaks." >> i can't talk about it. [ laughter ] see? i mean that's not my, it has nothing to could with my success but i can't talk about
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it. >> jimmy: you're not allowed to talk about that? >> no. >> jimmy: but you know about it? >> maybe. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you, rob lowe and the baby, you guys, in the final season of "parks and rec," you guys are coming back? [ cheers and applause ] >> yes, we're coming back. >> jimmy: and can you tell us a a little bit about what you guys are doing? >> can't talk about it. [ laughter ] not going to talk about it. >> jimmy: you can't talk? >> can't talk about it. >> jimmy: but you already shot it. >> yeah. i can't talk about it. >> jimmy: cannot discuss what happens? >> cannot discuss it. under wraps. >> jimmy: okay. this is a crazy thing. that i can't even believe you kept it secret from me. i can't believe this! >> i'm sorry. >> jimmy: shaking. because i know you went off to work with pixar and you said, oh, it's just something. it's a script and i can't talk about it. you're writing "toy story 4." >> yeah. >> jimmy: dude. i mean. [ cheers and applause ] did you know that? ♪ >> jimmy: yeah. she never told anyone. this is -- >> i'm co-writing it with
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will mccormick. >> jimmy: yeah. willie mac. you and willie mac, will mccormick. you're co-writing one of the biggest movies in the history of the world. what are you talking about? i can't believe you didn't tell me this. can you tell me anything about it? >> i can't talk about it! >> jimmy: oh my gosh! [ cheers and applause ] it's frustrating. >> doesn't that make me seem powerful, successful when i can't talk about things? >> jimmy: yes. you are very powerful, very successful. >> i hate, by the way, i hate it. i'm such an open book. >> jimmy: i know. >> it's so hard for me. >> jimmy: and how is pixar? is it just fun over there? >> it's awesome. >> jimmy: you can say that? >> yeah. i can say it's awesome. >> jimmy: they zoom around in segways, right? [ laughter ] >> i don't want to ruin your fantasy so i'm going to say i can't talk about it. [ laughter ] sure. >> jimmy: i figure that everyone over at pixar they're like, hover boards, and just like floating around. eating like space ice cream. dehydrated ice cream. >> everybody floats above the ground. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> and everybody's eating space food. >> jimmy: i'm so happy you told me that. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you so much. here is something you can talk about. >> yes. >> jimmy: "a to z." >> yes. >> jimmy: thursday nights, it's on thursday nights at 9:30 on nbc. >> yes. >> jimmy: and he's the deal, here's why i'm bringing this
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up. the time and the, the schedule. thursday night at 9:30, because it's up against a little show called "scandal." >> yes. and it was up against a little show called football. have you heard of it? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i mean these are two giant things to be up against. oh, no, don't cry. please. >> that's all men and all women. like you got to go for pets. >> jimmy: there's people in between there somewhere. [ laughter ] >> yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so it's all men, all women. so look, here's the deal. so you guys got to pbr it. is that a thing? >> i think -- pet, pet, yeah, pet video recording. >> jimmy: pet video recording. >> tell your pet. >> jimmy: tell your pet to record this device. no dvr it, tivo it. whatever you got to do. or watch it live. >> is it -- has anybody seen "a to z"? [ cheers and applause ] oh good! okay, great. it's been such a good show. i'm so proud of it. i'm executive producer. >> jimmy: a stands for andrew. >> andrew. andrew and zelda. >> jimmy: zelda. >> z is for zelda. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but it's also, it like a a comprehensive account of a a love story, from a to z. >> jimmy: yeah, and the thing i like about this, the first episode, the pilot episode they tell you, hey, these guys dated for --
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>> they're going to be together for eight months. >> jimmy: eight months. >> three weeks, five days and an hour. >> jimmy: that's all you know. >> yeah. >> jimmy: so you don't know how it ends. it could end in a marriage. it could end in a breakup. it could end up in a -- >> murder. what? no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: scandal. that's scandalous, though. >> you know. >> jimmy: scandalous. >> don't watch "scandal." >> jimmy: he could get drafted to a football team? [ laughter ] you don't know what's going to happen. >> but you have to stay tuned to watch. >> jimmy: yeah, just watch it. it's a well-done show and something different for once. >> yeah. >> jimmy: not the same old sitcom-y thing. it's actually beautiful and nice. just watch how it unfolds. can you get past episodes on netflix, or anything yet? or nbc.com? >> yeah. on demand. nbc on demand. >> jimmy: nbc on demand, come on. you guys. that's channel 4999854. [ laughter ] you know. >> only if you live in idaho. >> jimmy: you know it. it rolls off the tongue. nbc on demand, channel 4999854. [ laughter ] and check out "a to z." i want to show a clip. here's andrew and zelda in the new nbc show "a to z."
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check it out. >> surely you must have a a period of time in your life that you look back on and shiver in embarrassment. >> yeah, my first kiss. amy ritmiller did it in front of her parents. >> bite me. >> well for me it was when i wanted to become a singer, which spanned the first 15 years of my life, but then i grew up, and i got it together and i would really appreciate it if you never mentioned it again and if you never play that song again. >> hey, i really want to hear that song. ow! ow! jeez. you pinch like a dude. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we love our pal, rashida jones, everybody. watch "a to z" thursdays, 9:30 pm. she can talk about that. right here on nbc. tom colicchio is cooking leftovers after the break. a new twist. stick around everybody. it's good! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ my mac is great, ♪
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i hear you're quite the expert at waking people up in the morning. let me show you how grandma does it. ♪ you're daddy made this when he was a little boy. ♪ this is your dad in my house, where he had his first christmas. thanks for making the coffee. well look who's up. i'm really glad you're here, mom. me too. ♪ look who's here! me too. your phone makes a so put it down...ster. and pay attention to the people you're with. because the universe is sending you the most magnificent text of all. a drink. lenny: oh you got here early... julia: no, i've been here all night. these are my new year's resolutions. i'm going to be the prettiest girl in all the land. lenny: then you should get to old navy's after-holiday sale. everything is up to 75% off. julia: 75% off? get out of my way!!!! get out of my way!!!!
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. oh, my gosh. happy thanksgiving. our next guest is a james beard award winner, who you know as the head judge on the emmy winning show "top chef" which airs wednesdays at 10:00 pm on bravo. also this january, you can see him host and judge on bravo's brand new show "best new restaurant." ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm thanksgiving welcome to chef tom colicchio. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: thanks for being here, buddy. thank you for being here, my friend. loving "top chef," by the way, in boston this season. >> boston, yeah, yeah. great season. >> jimmy: i love boston. oh my gosh. you know i love boston. fenway park. how is schlow doing? >> schlow's great. he's the man. he's got the baby now. and he's just loving life. >> jimmy: i love michael schlow. this is good. now look, everyone's got leftovers from thanksgiving. you can always do the sandwichs. that's easy. >> right, that's easy. right now, though, thanksgiving night, how many dudes do you think are sitting there with the refrigerator open, looking at it going, "what am i going to do? what am i going to eat?" and they're picking at it? we know that, right? so, but you know, so everybody does the sandwich thing. why wait until the afternoon, the following day? so let's start off with breakfast. so what we do, you can start chopping all of this -- this is all our leftovers here. so we have roasted root vegetables, we have brussel sprouts and bacon, and of course we have stuffing and the turkey. just start chopping. >> jimmy: okay, i'm gonna start chopping. here we go. >> do your thing. >> jimmy: i think i'm good at this. >> yeah, go ahead. chop, chop, chop. [ laughter ] keep chopping. >> jimmy: see, this is great. >> chop that, too. >> jimmy: my new restaurant not opening, by the way. [ laughter ]
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still not opening, weirdly enough. okay. >> i need you to fry some eggs. >> rashida: okay. >> can we talk about that? >> rashida: yeah, let's talk about it. >> talk about fried eggs. a little hot, but go ahead. go ahead. lets just take this off, guys. we've got to crack it. [ laughter ] there we go. that's one. >> jimmy: so you're going to crack some eggs. >> once this is all chopped up -- >> jimmy: yeah, this is chopped up. i did a good job. oh, hey! [ laughter ] give me one of those cocktails, if you don't mind. thank you, yeah. >> you know, i didn't want to do this before you were chopping. you like your fingers. >> jimmy: actually, no. happy thanksgiving. >> happy thanksgiving. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: that's delicious. so you just chop these brussel sprouts, sweet potatoes, squash, turkey, stuffing. chop it all up. >> and it's all chopped up. and it goes in the pan. we're making a hash. >> jimmy: what are you doing, olive oil? >> a little olive oil. >> jimmy: salt and pepper too? >> just kind of work it nice and slow. yeah, salt. salt. salt and pepper. >> jimmy: and then -- quest, good job. you and rashida, good job. by the way, you didn't really do the hard part.
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you have to get it out there right? >> we're going to get it out of there. now, again, there's no recipe here. this is your own thing. this is your home, you have your leftovers, do your own thing, okay? so after that, eggs are frying. >> jimmy: pretty good. little raw. sushi eggs, that's good. [ laughter ] the new thing everybody is doing. >> go ahead. go ahead. let me see that. come on. go ahead. yeah, come on. let's do it. [ rashida grunting ] go for it. >> rashida: i can't. >> that was a good job so far. you guys are doing great. >> jimmy: at least someone did their job over here. [ laughter ] clearly. [ cheers and applause ] this is a chop -- >> rashida: yeah, you killed it. good job. >> jimmy: it ends up looking like that, which is great. >> okay. [ talking over each other ] >> jimmy: watch what he does. this is the chef, he's the master. it's all good. >> we're gonna make this happen. we're going to make this happen. >> jimmy: you can make that happen and at least get one out of there. see, that's no time, he just does that type of stuff. [ cheers and applause ] >> we'll make it happen. okay, go.
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then we have our eggs and -- [ laughter ] our fried egg goes on the hash. >> jimmy: ahh, that's what i'm talking about. happy next day thanksgiving, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] beautiful right there. my man, tom, thank you so much for being here. happy thanksgiving. best for the family. we love you, buddy. happy thanksgiving. >> you're the best buddy. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you guys, check out "craft," "craftstar," "witchcraft," "colicchio and son," "craft shakin bacon." he's the best. tom colicchio. "top chef" airs wednesdays at 10:00 pm on bravo. check out "best new restaurant" premiering in january on bravo. more after the break. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to whoopi goldberg, rashida jones, tom colicchio and the roots, ladies and gentlemen. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching, everybody. happy thanksgiving! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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