tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC April 26, 2016 12:37am-1:38am EDT
>> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- keegan-michael key and jordan peele, music from run river north. featuring the 8g band with will calhoun. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers! >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is fantastic. in that case, let's get to the news. beyonce released her new album "lemonade" this weekend. and when he realized what it was about, jay z released a little lemonade, too. [ laughter ] that's right.
beyonce released a surprise album. of course, when you're over 40 and white, every beyonce album is a surprise album. [ laughter ] she did what? i'll have to go to sam goody and check that out. well, it's that time of year so let's get you caught up. jon is still dead but still maybe not dead. [ laughter ] little finger is still devious. [ laughter ] and winter is still coming. [ laughter and applause ] donald trump did an impression of hillary clinton at a rally this weekend accusing clinton of needing a teleprompter, speaking in a robotic manner and being boring. and then hillary did an impression of donald trump by crushing a poor person's dreams. [ laughter ] historians are suggesting that the appearance of the mona lisa may actually be based on the
image of a young man who served as an apprentice and lover to leonardo da vinci and that this is actually the guy who walked in on them. [ laughter and applause ] a new swiss airplane called solar impulse two crossed the pacific ocean this weekend using only solar energy. said the pilot right before takeoff, "wait, solar impulse two? [ laughter ] did you know we were a two?" a couple in ohio yesterday ran a half marathon immediately after getting married at the starting line. ha, usually you're married a lot longer than that before you hear a gunshot. [ laughter ] a man in massachusetts is converting his funeral home into an ice cream parlor with the slogan, "a taste to die for." [ laughter ] "hey, that's our slogan," said chipotle. [ laughter and applause ]
a new app has been created that allows smartphones to detect body odor. the app is called "messages." [ laughter ] and i just want you to know that i got your message that that joke was a stinker. [ laughter ] and finally, a pet shop worker in oregon was arrested recently for soliciting a prostitute and trying to pay her with an exotic monkey. said her pimp, "bitch better have my monkey." [ laughter ] we have -- we have a great show for you tonight. [ cheers and applause ] the bitch better have my monkey is the high point, but we have a great show for you tonight. we have two of my favorite comedians, two dear friends. they are the stars of the upcoming movie "keanu," keegan-michael key and jordan peele are here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] so excited about that. also, we will have music from a great los angeles-based rock
band run river north is here. [ cheers and applause ] delighted to have them with us. run river north was actually -- they were gonna be on the show the monday that we canceled because i had a baby boy. so that's about a month ago. we just -- [ cheers and applause ] yeah, my son is about a month old. and, yeah, we just had a week off. and any one of those nights he could have cried and it wouldn't have been a big deal because i didn't have work the next day. dead silent. [ laughter ] last night cry city. [ laughter ] so he's got an excellent sense of timing. but he's a good dude. and this was also exciting. red nose day. here's a mug to prove that i'm not making this up. red nose day is coming around soon. nbc is once again hosting a special. it helps children who need it most in the u.s. and around the world. so here's what you can do. you go to walgreen's and you get one of these, this is a red nose, and then you watch and you give on may 26th. it's a great cause, it's a great show. so please check that out. all right, moving on, in order to stop donald trump,
john kasich and ted cruz's campaigns announced on sunday an agreement between the candidates wherein cruz will not compete in new mexico and oregon and kasich will do the same in indiana. this cruz/kasich team-up is like the wonder twins if they had far worse powers. [ laughter ] shape of a lizard in a suit. form of a 63-year-old man with a 22-year-old's haircut. [ laughter ] and while his opponents start working together to stop him, donald trump is also working to reinvent himself and his campaign. and his campaign has all but admitted that the trump we've seen so far is just an act. for more on this it is time for "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: one of donald trump's biggest selling points, a talking point that he repeats at almost every ad or campaign event, is that, because he's self- funding his campaign he's not beholden to washington lobbyists. >> the establishment lobbyists and special interests are absolutely killing our country. the politicians are going to destroy this country.
they're weak and they're ineffective. and they're controlled by the lobbyists of the special interests. i don't want lobbyists, i don't want special interests. the lobbyists will come and see me, but i don't give a [ bleep ] about lobbyists. okay? >> seth: listening to trump is like reading a "west wing" script written by andrew dice clay. [ laughter ] jack be nimble, jack be quick. d.c. lobbyists can suck my -- oh! [ laughter ] so donald trump hates lobbyists. but after a few rough weeks on the campaign trail trump turned to one to run his campaign. a lobbyist and gop political operative named paul manafort. and manafort has not only been a washington lobbyists for decades, he's the shadiest kind of lobbyist, thanks to his firm unsavory client list. >> if you look at manafort's long history of lobbying, it is about as controversial as you can get. >> the firm he helped found develop a niche representing a roster of controversial international clients that has been described as the torturers' lobby. >> filipino dictator marcos, angolan guerrilla leader
jonas savimbi, ousted ukrainian president and putin ally viktor yanukovych. >> seth: he's also represented bane, victor von doom, skeletor, and worst of all, robin thicke. [ laughter ] i'm not saying he crossed the line, i'm saying it's blurred. [ applause ] now, manafort was brought into the campaign in part to help trump run a more traditional operation, and also to assure gop officials that trump, despite his public rhetoric, isn't going to war with the party. which brings to us the second major quality trump and his supporters often hold up as a reason to vote for him, that he tells it like it is. >> you know what my strategy is? honesty. i say it like it is. >> he doesn't care what people think. he tells the truth, what we need to do. >> whether it's the truth or not, i think he tells you the way he feels. >> i have to be myself. donald trump is real. >> seth: "donald trump is real" is also something parents say to scare children into brushing their teeth. [ laughter ] "donald trump is real and he hides under the beds of boys and
girls who have cavities. [ cheers and applause ] and floss. while you're at it, floss." so publicly everything about trump is real but privately his campaign is sending a very different message. manafort met with members of the republican national committee to reassure them that trump would tone down his attacks on the party and, in a leaked recording, made this startling admission about trump's truth telling persona on the campaign trail. >> when he's out on the stage, when he's talking about the kinds of things he's talking about on the stump, he's projecting an image that's for that purpose. the part he's been playing is evolving into the part that now you've been expecting but he wasn't ready for it because he had to first complete the first phase. >> seth: what? are we really supposed to believe trump has just been playing a part to win over conservative voters? you're telling me this was all just an act? >> i love the bible. i love the evangelicals. i love tea party. i love the tea party. i love nascar. i love the south. i love my kids.
come here, kids. [ laughter ] does anybody want to take a ride? [ cheers ] >> seth: no, children, don't go! [ laughter ] once you get into that helicopter, you never come back. he'll put you to work in one of his necktie factories. [ laughter ] let's review trump's list -- the bible, evangelicals, tea party, the south, and nascar. his campaign strategy is basically a game of republican mad libs. [ laughter ] so trump's campaign has now admitted that his personality on the campaign trail is, in fact, a show and that he can change his rhetoric any time he wants. and perhaps the worse part of this is, it's working. after last week's new york primary, trump refrained from his usual tactic of insulting his rivals, and the media went crazy for it. >> you've seen tonight a new tone from donald trump. a new type of temperament. >> the tone from donald trump tonight was so much more -- so much different than i had seen just a couple weeks ago. he didn't call senator ted cruz, lyin' ted. >> no nickname. >> he called him senator cruz. >> you heard donald trump tonight sounding -- you tell me,
more presidential? senator cruz not lyin' ted. did you notice that? >> seth: trump is a genius. he set the bar so low that not calling his competition a liar is presidential. [ laughter ] that's like a girl -- [ cheers and applause ] that's like a girl saying, "he usually forgets valentine's day but this year he got me two scratch-offs and a six pack of coors light. boyfriend of the year." but this trump shift isn't just a case of his campaign aides going rogue. trump himself has been saying a version of this same thing for months. >> i will be changing very rapidly. i'm very capable of changing anything i want to change to. i can be more presidential if i want to be. i can be more presidential than anybody. i would say more presidential. and i've said this a couple of times, more presidential than anybody other than the great abe lincoln. he was very presidential, right? >> seth: but even when he's openly talking about conning us,
he's conning us because trump doesn't even seem to know what made lincoln so presidential. when he was asked the question, "why did lincoln succeed?" trump said this, and this is the full quote, "well, i think lincoln succeeded for numerous reasons. he was a man who was of great intelligence which most presidents would be. but he was a man of great intelligence. but he was also a man that did something that was a very vital thing to do at the time. 10 years before or 20 years before what he was doing would never have been thought possible. so he did something that was a very important thing to do, and especially at that time." [ laughter ] why so vague? did you forget he ended slavery or are you worried some of your supporters are still bummed out about that so you don't want to bring it up? [ cheers and applause ] which is it? here's the thing, we shouldn't be surprised that trump is suddenly trying to reinvent himself, and that his campaign is openly admitting that trump the candidate is just an act.
because trump's entire business career has been built on obsessively manipulating the media. and this goes back decades. for example, "in the 1980s when reporters called the trump organization to request an interview with the boss, they were sometimes referred to a spokesman named john barron." barron spun trump business deals on the phone to reporters, like a planned 1984 real estate project in manhattan called "trump castle," which trump said would be "complete with spires, draw bridge, and a moat." spires and a moat? in manhattan? it takes three calls to my co-op board if i want a door mat. [ laughter ] also, here's the nicest castle in manhattan. [ laughter ] that's the best we could do. so obviously, this project failed, and trump's partner walked away. they sold the land instead. but trump's spokesman, john barron, spun this as a success in the media, telling reporters, "it sure is easier to get a large commission on a $105 million sale than to put up a building." now, nothing about this story
seemed particularly unusual and trump's spokesman continued to represent trump in the media for years, that is, until it was revealed that "the spokesman, john barron, was actually trump hiding behind a fake name." [ laughter ] and, of course, trump's fake name was "john barron." it was either that or "great hugerson." [ laughter ] so it shouldn't be surprise that trump is now trying to reinvent himself. he created a fake persona to sell his product to an unsuspecting public. and now, running for president he's doing the same thing to sell his [ bleep ] product yet -- himself. this has been "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. and please give it up for the 8g band right over there. best band in "late night." [ cheers and applause ] also, very excited about this. sitting in with our band all week, he's a widely acclaimed genre spanning drummer and songwriter who has worked with everyone from b.b. king, mick jagger, ms. lauren hill and public enemy from the grammy award winning rock band living colour, will calhoun is here. [ cheers and applause ] will's latest record "life in this world" is out now on motema
music and is available on itunes and amazon. thank you so much for being here this week will. >> pleasure, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: now, one of the big parts of presidential campaigns are the slogans which brings to us a segment we call "new campaign slogans." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: first up, americans continue to threaten to leave the country if donald trump is elected president. trump says he's fine with them leaving so their changing his posters from make america great again to make america migrate again. [ laughter ] >> leave him alone! >> seth: sorry, excuse me? >> leave him alone! haven't we made fun of donald trump enough with your closer looks and monologue jokes? >> seth: well, it's just he's running for president, so i think he's fair game. >> leave him alone! [ laughter ] poor man. after a hard week of flying from state to state making speeches and doing interviews he comes home to relax and watch a little late night television only to see you ripping him a new one.
leave him alone! [ laughter ] >> seth: now, sir, are you a donald trump supporter? >> i support compassion and kindness. not mean-spirited jokes. if you have to make fun of somebody, make fun of me! >> seth: i don't -- [ laughter ] i don't know you. i wouldn't even know what to make fun of you about. >> well, making fun of the fact that i wear a supporter cup under my swim trunks when i go to the beach -- [ laughter ] just in case a shark wants to bite off my ding ding. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, you shouldn't tell people that. look, honestly we only try to make fun of people who deserve it. >> oh, i deserve it. you can make fun of the fact that i'm afraid of my neighbors and i built a wall around my house and i told them they were the ones who are going to pay for it. >> seth: how did that work out? >> i paid for the wall. [ laughter ] then it fell over on to my house. [ laughter ] >> seth: so you're kind of like donald trump? >> leave him alone! poor guy. just going out there every day working hard as he can to make his family proud. you've got to go and call him
the $10 billion turd. >> seth: i never called him that. >> well, if you did, i'd say leave him alone! >> seth: now, sir -- >> my name is jacqueline. >> seth: your name is jacqueline? >> yes, first name jack, middle initial e., last name lynn. >> seth: oh. so your name is jack lynn, why do you say the e? that makes your name sound like jacqueline. >> because it never occurred to me that i didn't have to say it until this very moment. [ laughter ] you know, i only say it because it was the initial of my grandfather's name who i loved very much. >> seth: what was your grandfather's name? >> elizabeth. >> seth: you know what, sir -- [ laughter ] i think we can just move on with the show. i'm not going to make fun of you. >> oh, but it's so easy. you could make fun of what i do for a living. >> seth: what do you do for a living? >> i started my own line of steaks and i tried to sell them at radio shack. they were called jack e lynn's radio steaks. >> seth: that sounds very similar to trump steaks. >> leave him alone! [ laughter ] >> seth: are you still in the steak business? >> no, i only sold one steak. and you know who bought it?
>> seth: who bought it? >> my grandpa elizabeth. >> seth: you know what? jack, why don't you just sit down and then we'll continue the show. >> oh, great, go ahead, get back to your little show and your easy donald trump jokes. you know what i say to that? >> seth: i'm guessing leave him -- >> leave him alone! [ laughter ] if you need to make some jokes, make fun of me. make fun of the fact that my back is so hairy that when i take off my shirt i look like i have a giant mullet. [ laughter ] or that i named my cat dog and my dog cat and now i'm the one who's confused. or that i have to masturbate with the lights on because i'm afraid of pervert ghosts. [ laughter ] >> seth: i'm sorry, so if the lights are out you don't think the ghosts can see you? >> the ghosts can see me masturbate. [ light laughter ] >> seth: you know what, well guess what? you win, because now we've run out of time so we can't even do that segment. >> oh, well, good. >> seth: all right. we'll be right back with
keegan-michael key and jordan peele. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ (ricky gervais) verizon is the number one network in america. i know what you're thinking, they all claim stuff like that. yeah, but some of them stretch the truth. one said they were the fastest. we checked, it was fastest in kansas city and a few other places. verizon is consistently fast across the country. you wouldn't want to hear from the bloke who packs your parachute, "it's good over kansas." do you know what i mean? so that's, you know... anywhere else, splat. only verizon is the #1 network for consistently fast speeds. and now if you buy a samsung galaxy s7 edge you get one free. insithousands of ouses barrels lay silent. but that doesn't mean they lay idle. in fact, inside each and every jim beam barrel,
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dying. we need a president that's going to talk about it. i believe bernie sanders is a protestor. he's not scared to go up against the criminal justice system. he's not scared. that's why i'm for bernie.
i'm bernie sanders and i approve this message. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: our first guests tonight are
the creators and stars of the very popular show "key and peele" which ran for five seasons on comedy central. they're starring in a new film called "keanu" which opens in theaters everywhere friday. let's take a look. >> you don't know who you're messing with, because you're being crazy disrespectful right now. hey, if you touch one hair on my cat's head, i will kill you! [ screams ] >> help! >> put him down now. putting the guns down. >> yes, that's good. yes, thank you, thank you. >> hey, hey. >> thank you. >> they like keanu? >> we like keanu as well. well, we can agree on that. right, guys? >> oh. i don't think that's going to work. guys -- oh. no. >> help, help, help! help!
okay. [ screaming ] [ bleep ] >> hey, listen. if you let us go i might be able to give you visitor passes to a meeting of senate foreign relations committee if there's not a closed session. [ light laughter ] >> seth: please welcome to the show keegan-michael key and jordan peele. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ gentlemen, what a delight. [ cheers and applause ] >> did you do one of these? >> i did one of these. >> you did one of these? >> seth: there you go. [ cheers and applause ] works every time. >> it works. >> seth: works every time. wrestlers didn't come up with this move because it didn't work. [ laughter ] >> every time. >> seth: so keanu we can tell from the clip, keanu is a kitten? >> yes. >> seth: the kitten is the key to the film. you had a different title to
this movie when you first started working on it. >> yes, we -- at one point were going to call it "new jack kitty." but that was stupid. that was dumb. [ laughter ] >> we went with "keanu." something that -- it was iconic. it was something, it was a celebration of film. and everybody likes keanu. >> seth: everybody likes keanu. a great name for a kitten, if you think about it. >> yeah. >> seth: which obviously you guys did. >> we did. [ light laughter ] for a very short period, but we did. >> seth: this is a movie about two guys trying to save a kitten from a gangland. gangsters, it's gangsters and kittens. >> which is what -- we haven't had enough of those movies. >> seth: no. [ light laughter ] >> there's a dearth of those movies. [ talking over each other ] it's not derivative. yes, there's a very dangerous gang of people who were not the brightest bulbs in pack. they're all the people that got kicked out of the bloods and the crips. they're called the blips. >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> and so we have to infiltrate the gang and find a way to get keanu back. >> seth: and you are not -- you guys do not play sort of guys with gang know-how.
>> no, this is a stretch for us. >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> yeah. >> because we are from the strizeets. but no. [ light laughter ] >> they have to pretend to be like the hardest killers in the world and these assassins. and the ones that definitely are, are the biggest blerds in the world. black nerds. >> seth: okay. [ light laughter ] yeah. >> and so they're going to have to turn up their street knowledge, yeah. >> seth: now, this is -- it's directed by. >> peter atencio. >> seth: who directed all of the "key & peeles." >> pretty much. >> yeah. >> seth: what's wonderful about this film and was so wonderful about -- so much of the cinematic stuff you did on the show, such a great mix of action and comedy. >> right. >> seth: because the action scenes are great action scenes. >> yeah. it's kind of like you can look at it as an action movie with yuck yucks in it. >> seth: yeah. >> or you're looking at a comedy with really good action. that's what peter excels at is just jumping into the genres, any genre we asked him to do on the show he's just done beautifully. >> seth: now, obviously -- i
believe you two to be fans of action films and "key and peele" one of the best sketches you guys are a fan of liam neeson. >> oh, yeah. >> liam neeson. liam neeson's. >> say it right. >> seth: and there's a nice moment where we get a liam neeson mention in the film, which was nice i thought -- easter egg. >> a nice little easter egg for the audience. >> seth: now the valet sketch on "key & peele," so much fun. you guys talking about your favorite movie stars getting the names wrong. did you have any in your five years that you didn't get to that you wish you had done? >> there were a few. >> there were a few, yeah. >> leo decapees. decapsees. decapsees. [ light laughter ] >> leo decapsees. >> he got jacked up by that bear. he was making love with the bear. >> the bear was all up in there. >> and the relevance. i love that movie. the relevance. [ laughter ] >> it's all about that relevance? >> dicapsees. the relevance was relevant to me. >> yo, colin farrells. [ light laughter ] >> colin ferrells. >> coly ferrells. coly ferrells. >> that's will ferrells's brother. [ laughter ] but for some reason he talk funny and we don't know why.
>> we don't know why. he's doing the whole method acting thing where he's doing a character. >> he's been in character for like 24 years. one particular character. >> colin farrells. we have to be here on sethy meyers. [ light laughter ] >> seth: seth meyers. >> seth meairs. seth meairs. [ laughter ] >> seth meairs. we love seth meairs. >> he french, he french, he french, he french. >> funky fresh. [ laughter ] we could go all day. >> you could just do it all day. yeah. >> on that bit, you just put an s. >> seth: that's it. but you gave your secret away. >> bobby deniros. >> bobby deniros. [ light laughter ] >> aly pacinos. >> just put a lee on the front name and an s on the back name. >> seth: there you go. >> that's the formula guys, if you want to do comedy. [ laughter ] you want to do the ballet. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: now, that is interesting because you talk about a formula for that. >> yeah. >> seth: in all seriousness, there is every person i ever knew who tried to write a screenplay has the same book in their apartment called "save the cat" which is writted by a guy named blake snyder. >> blake snyder, yeah.
>> seth: now this is actually the plot of your film is saving a cat. >> yeah. >> seth: but the book is not saying write a movie about -- you took the book more literally. explain what save the cat means in the book. >> it's a dumb book. you can get the whole thing from the cover. >> right. >> and then you just do it. [ light laughter ] >> hello. >> it's amazing it didn't sell more copies. >> the whole concept of that is blake snyder says you get the cat up the tree, then you kind of throw rocks at the tree, you get the cat up the tree and you figure out how does the cat get down. >> seth: yeah. >> and that's what every story should be. set up the problem. >> seth: yeah. >> set up the obstacle then figure out how to solve the problem. >> seth: but in his mind the tree would be something other than a tree. and the cat -- >> other than a cat. >> seth: but they were like metaphors. >> but in jordan's mind the tree was a gang of idiots led by method man. [ light laughter ] >> seth: yeah. method man is the head gangster and he's fantastic. >> terrific, yeah. >> seth: i've seen him be a great actor before. he's very funny in this. i know you to be a huge method man fan. >> huge method man fan. >> seth: what was it like working with him and was he everything that you hoped he would be?
>> crazy. >> and he was more than i hoped he would be. first of all, you look at him. i'm like lip syncing method man songs in my house one night. then all of a sudden, "i want to be in your movie." [ laughter ] hey. it was awesome. >> that's what he was. he didn't say any words for like two days. [ laughter ] >> this dude's looney tunes. he said, "this dude's daffy." anyway, it turns out he's a really playful guy. >> very charming. >> he has fun. we had -- there's a fourth of july party we shot on the fourth of july and the place we were renting, i threw a party and somebody bought $300 worth of fireworks. >> like heavy-duty fireworks. >> seth: for fireworks, is $300 a lot? >> it was a lot. or a little amount of very high quality fireworks. >> seth: which way did you guys go? >> we went both ways, actually. >> a lot of medium-sized ones. >> after we set off a couple of fireworks, method man was like, "this is what they're doing for the city." our fireworks were as big as the new orleans city fireworks. >> and he was going crazy
setting off fireworks in my house. here i am with like my ultimate idol of hip-hop and i have to walk over to him and be like, "you know. [ laughter ] if you damage anything it's coming out of my deposit." [ laughter and applause ] miserable. miserable experience. >> turn into woody allen. >> seth: the things method man is thinking about all times security deposit is so low. >> so low on the list. >> he doesn't care. the whole wutang clan. >> seth: that thing you said about the wutang clan, none of them cared about security deposits. >> and he was cool. he was like, "all right, my bad, my bad. [ laughter ] i'm sorry, man." you just lit a plant on fire. no, he's a great guy. of course he lit a plant on fire. >> seth: so method man is in the film. so another artist who gets a lot of attention in this film is george michael -- >> yes, yes. >> seth: who you use maybe as example of how far away you from -- >> how far away from being street. >> seth: yeah. >> george michael, i'm not going to lie. he is my favorite recording
artist. >> seth: in real life. >> no, that is a lie. [ light laughter ] it is a lie. it is a lie. it is a lie. but i do enjoy his music. >> seth: i enjoy his music. >> but the thing is he worked perfectly because he's english, so that makes him extremely white culturally, but he has a soulful rhythmic voice. >> seth: yeah. >> so there are moments in the movie that work because it's his music. if we had picked somebody even whiter someone like paul simon or something like that. >> seth: yeah. >> the movie would have been 20 minutes long. >> seth: yeah. >> whey would have been like, "that's paul simon. boom." [ laughter ] >> seth: does this answer of george michael makes me think he really is your favorite. [ laughter ] >> i'm busted, seth. you got me. >> seth: how many keanus -- i know when you do films like you don't work with just one kitten. how many did you guys end up working with? >> seven. seven kittens. two rounds of them because the first round of kittens -- they had a growth spurt. >> they're still alive. >> and they were actually expecting the growth spurt. >> they're alive. [ light laughter ] >> seth: i guess that bad way of saying -- how many do you go through? [ laughter ] >> that's hollywood for you. get them in, get them out.
12 weeks old, your career's over. >> seth: you think it's hard for a female actress in l.a.? try being a kitten. >> try being a kitten, yeah. >> you got to take off the fur and get naked. [ laughter ] get hiking. >> get hiking? get hiking. it's a new thing. >> there were literally at one point in time, the trainers reached into one of the cages one time, and i was with her and she pulled out the cat and he had a growth spurt overnight. and we're like, "charlie's done!" [ laughter ] >> somebody caught it. somebody caught charlie. >> somebody caught him with pillow hands. somebody with pillow hands got charlie. charlie was not harmed. he was just disappointed. [ laughter ] >> seth: we have known each other a very long time. >> yeah. >> seth: and out of chicago, we used to know each other and work boom chicago over in amsterdam. when you were here we talked about the house in l.a. that my brother lived in with ike, hayes, dave stassen, just a garbage home. >> a garbage home. >> garbage house. >> seth: worst house you've been in that you knew people lived at? >> it was a palace for rats. yeah. it was. >> it was. [ light laughter ] >> here's the thing.
your brother and ike and hayes were very cruel to the cleaning lady. just by simply existing. [ light laughter ] >> just by being there. >> that poor woman is like, "no, lo siento -- i can't." [ light laughter ] she's like, i can't do it. >> seth: she walked in and thought the devil lived there. >> exactly, yeah. >> seth: the fact -- the most ironic thing of all time is that that place had a cleaning lady. [ laughter ] buried under a bunch of -- >> she couldn't make a dent. >> seth: you guys, you worked together for a long time. i know you have some shared sort of a shared vocabulary of words -- stoink. >> stoink. stoink. >> stoinks. >> you want to stoink something out of the jammer? and then switch to like the swoimps? >> seth: explain to me how do you stoink and where it comes from? >> conjugate it? >> we'll give you entomology first, and then we'll do some conjugations for you guys. >> seth: there you go. >> this is mostly -- we call it keeganese because he just whips out the most fascinating vocabulary. i'm learning new -- every day. but stoink -- i mean, you can stoink a jammer.
>> yeah. >> but you can't jammer a stoink. >> you can't jammer a stoink. a stoink is just about any noun at all in any language. >> seth: right. >> so just hand me the -- just hand me the stoink. [ light laughter ] >> seth: got it. >> and if you really don't know what it is, you go, "the stoinker. the stoinker?" >> yeah. >> "hand me the stoinker." >> you can stoink something. >> you can stoink something up. >> seth: now i'm very confused. >> if you play mad libs and use stoink, you can fill out the whole page. >> with one word. >> one word. >> seth: it's all forms. >> it's all forms. >> hey, look, we stoinked over at that, then he grabbed a stoink. we went to stoinkland to go to vacation with stoinks. >> seth: i can't imagine it's very helpful in conversation? >> not really. >> seth: no. >> not really. no really. [ laughter ] you can make a meeting just last. for a long time. [ laughter ] >> and also if you put the suffix a-t-e on anything. crabulate. stounkulate. rambulate. jambulate. ranipulate. scaculate. flipulate. trenamublate. redripulate. >> seth: meeting's very long. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> seth: how many things did you just do that are against the law? [ light laughter ] >> surprisingly only one.
only one. [ light laughter ] >> seth: stramulate? was it stramulate? >> it was gripulate. >> seth: you guys, congrats so much on the film. it's fantastic. thank you so much for being here. >> thank you so much. >> seth: you're going to stick around, right? >> we're going to stick around. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: we'll be right back. >> we're going to stoink it down. >> seth: with more keegan-michael key and jordan peele. "keanu" opens in theaters friday. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ (man) what i love most about
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gloverwhen i visitedi knew whmy family in georgia.ike when i saw bernie sanders getting arrested for protesting segregation, it was powerful. dr. martin luther king jr. was building a poor people's movement where
blacks, whites, latinos, asian-americans would come together around economic justice, and that's what bernie is trying to do today. i think bernie is with us. that's why i support bernie sanders. sanders: i'm bernie sanders, and i approve this message. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: it has been so great talking to you guys. i know before you went -- you told me there was something you
guys wanted to say before you left. >> yes. >> yeah, yeah. thank you. seth, you know we've been working together for a long time. >> yes. >> i wouldn't trade that for the world. it's great having a partner. but there is a down side. and that of course is that not a lot of people know which one is key and which one is peele. >> yeah, so you know -- and we've been -- we've been key and peele for a long time but people don't seem to know who is key and who is peele. so we thought we would set the record straight and just make it really easy for you guys to remember. so is that cool with you guys? >> is that all right? [ cheers and applause ] >> so wally, do you have those cue cards ready? >> yep, got them right here. >> great, okay. here we go. >> let's do this. let's do it. all right. here we go. >> real simple. hi there, i'm keegan-michael key. no, my bad. that's your card. >> right, yep. [ laughter ] that was weird. starting over. >> unfortunately. >> sorry about that. hi there, i'm keegan-michael key. and what my friend here would say if you met him on the street -- nope. [ laughter ] no, that's your card. we had it right the first time.
>> we had this down -- >> okay. rocky start. here we go. hi there, i'm keegan-michael key is what my friend here would say if you met him on the street because he loves nothing more than to pretend he's me. >> okay, what -- [ laughter ] i don't think this is helping. >> yeah, this is really kind of confusing the way we wrote that. like somebody else wrote it. >> you know what? okay. you know what? i think people tend to be like visual learners, all right? let's just do something, let's come up with something visual. >> yes, right. >> and then we can just do this thing. >> okay, okay, that makes sense. so alex, can you just put our names on the screen right here under us. that should help. >> can do. >> thank you. >> there you go. no, no. >> no, no, no. >> no, the title the way -- no, no, no. >> we're in the wrong seats. >> we're in the wrong seats. >> let's switch. let's switch. >> switch it out. >> alex just take the words down for a second. >> making it more complicated. >> seth: okay, you know guys maybe this is just more trouble than it's worth. you know people if they want to know they can just, you know, google it. [ laughter ] >> google shmoogle, seth, we're on this right here.
let's take a second, we can clear the whole thing up. and then here we go, let's put them on the screen. >> are you good? >> no, no. why would you switch the names, alex? >> why would you switch our names? >> why would you switch the damn names? >> all right, calm, calm, calm, calm. >> switch the names! >> calm down. calm down. >> you calm down, okay. nobody on earth says peele and key. [ laughter ] >> my mom does. >> seth: okay. you know what? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] are you two going to be okay? >> we're fine, okay we're fine. we'll just -- we'll just -- you know what? we'll just give everyone a few easy to remember facts. and then we'll be done. >> seth: well, that's great because we are running out of time. >> okay. so i'm the one who has hair. >> mm-hmm. >> and i've had sex. [ laughter ] well, i don't think that that's a good one. >> i have had sex. >> so have i. [ laughter ] >> have you?
>> seth: guys! >> no, here we go. here we go. this is -- >> all right, this -- this -- >> seth: is it starting now? >> it's starting now. starting right now. >> fun fact about me, this is my home town, baby. new york city in the house. i'm from here! [ cheers and applause ] >> all right. okay. and guess what, though? i didn't eat the cheese plate in run river north's dressing room and tell an nbc page she forgot to bring one in. [ laughter ] >> so what are you doing right now? >> she got in trouble for that. >> seth: okay you know what, i think let's just maybe we'll just wrap it up. we'll just wrap it up. >> this is the last one, seth. >> seth: starting now. >> we're starting now. this is last one. >> starting now. clean plate. i am married to actress chelsea peretti. >> yes. >> and -- and -- [ cheers and applause ] >> that's good, right? that's -- and i am not married to actress chelsea peretti. we're just dating. >> seth: okay, you know what, i think we are done. [ laughter ] one of them is key, one of them is peele. thank you guys for coming. we'll be right back with music from run river north. >> did we take too much time?
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♪♪we'll walk it out togetherve now♪ this is my daughter nova, this is my grandaughter ava they were killed seven years ago. oh bless your heart, oh my gosh. ♪we'll walk it out together now♪ ♪spread a little hope and love now♪ we need to make sure he gets a chance to learn how to do that. ♪we'll walk it out together now america is stronger when we are all supporting one another.
♪spread a little hope and love now♪ i'm hillary clinton and i approve this message. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. tonight's musical guest are a great l.a. indie rock
band who just wrapped a north american headlining tour. in support of their new album "drinking from a salt pond," performing "run or hide," please welcome to the show, run river north. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ lions in the dark with your shadow shadow hanging over me shaking the ground ♪ ♪ your footsteps
footsteps calling out my ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ off to the races but all of these faces keep rolling by me now ♪ ♪ i don't understand these lines in my hand all look the same ♪ ♪ all look the same i think i've changed my mind about a million times ♪ ♪ oh to run or hide oh to run or hide i'm gonna call this out ♪ ♪ i'm coming back somehow i won't run or hide i won't run or hide ♪ ♪ lions tearing apart
i see them breaking breaking but i can't let them starve ♪ ♪ so i let them i feel them feel them tearing up my skin ♪ ♪ i think i've changed my mind about a million times oh to run or hide ♪ ♪ oh to run or hide i'm gonna call this out i'm coming back somehow ♪ ♪ i won't run or hide i won't run or hide run or hide run or hide run or hide ♪ ♪ the lions that you hear you only give what you get ♪ ♪ you're trying to keep this in spit it out
spit it out ♪ ♪ the lions that you give you only give what you get ♪ ♪ tryin to keep this in spit it out spit it out ♪ ♪ i think i've changed my mind about a million times to run or hide ♪ ♪ to run or hide i'm gonna call this out i'm coming back somehow i won't run or hide ♪ ♪ i won't run or hide i think i've changed my mind about a million times oh to run or hide ♪ ♪ oh to run or hide i'm gonna call this out i'm coming back somehow i won't run or hide ♪ ♪ i won't run or hide run or hide run or hide run or hide ♪ ♪
but i believe we need to lift our vision above the obstacles in place and look to the american horizon. to
a nation where every child can not only dream of going to college, but attend one. where quality healthcare will be a birthright of every citizen. where a good job is not a wish, but a reality. where women receive equal pay and a living wage is paid to all. an america where after a lifetime of labor, there is time for rest and grandchildren. a nation that defends our people and our values, but no longer carries so much of that burden alone. i know we can create that america if we listen to our conscience and our hearts and not to the pundits and the naysayers. i'm bernie sanders. i approve this message, and i ask for your vote.
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>> seth: my thanks to keegan-michael key and jordan peele. run river north, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] will calhoun and of course the 8g band. stay tuned for carson daly. we'll see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ >> carson: hey, gang! it's your buddy, carson daly, here, stationed at the w hotel, new york, times square for tonight's "last call." here's what we got coming up. "the girlfriend experience's" amy seimetz is in our spotlight tonight.