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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  June 9, 2016 11:34pm-12:41am EDT

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- president barack obama, musical guest madonna, and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: p-o-t-u-s! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: hey! thanks! enjoy yourself. get ready. i know, it's big. get ready. please. i know, it's big. it's gonna be fun. welcome. welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] welcome. welcome to "the tonight show," everybody! [ cheers and applause ] you made it. this is the show. i'm your host jimmy fallon. and man, do we have a big show for you guys tonight. [ cheers and applause ] the president of the united states is on the show this evening, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] that's right. president barack obama is here, which means even he can't score
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tickets to "hamilton." it's sad. [ laughter and applause ] it is sad. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: but it's such a hot show. well this is very interesting, president obama was one of the five youngest presidents in u.s. history upon taking office. and this is weird, he'll be one of the oldest presidents in u.s. history upon leaving office. take a look at that. [ laughter and applause ] isn't that unbelievable? >> steve: that's odd. >> jimmy: isn't that odd? >> steve: that's odd. >> jimmy: that's weird, yeah. of course, it's stressful being president and not everyone's always happy with you. in fact, many members of congress have stated they've felt the president had been aloof or distant with them, and complained that he didn't spend enough time with them. [ light laughter ] here's my question, if you're best friends with jay z and beyonce, would you waste time hanging out with members of congress? [ cheers and applause ] [ as obama ] "hey, honey, i'm gonna see what harry reid's up to this weekend. hey, harry, what's banging?" [ laughter ] actually, the president, he has a lot of -- a lot going on as he wraps up his term in office including the construction of his official presidential library, which will be built in chicago.
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it will be a place -- [ cheers and applause ] beautiful. it will be a place devoted entirely to obama and his achievements, or as that's also known, msnbc. and it's just very interesting. [ applause ] actually, so much has happened during president obama's administration. obamacare was passed. same sex marriage -- [ cheers and applause ] same sex marriage was legalized. he worked with 11 other countries to sign the historic trans-pacific partnership. whereas donald trump just walked around epcot and insulted every country. [ laughter and applause ] [ as trump ] "holland, you're clogs are ugly. belgium, i hate your waffles." [ laughter ] speaking of trump, the co-founder of home depot recently announced that he is supporting donald trump. he wasn't planning to, but when your colors are orange and white, you kind of have to go with donald. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: he didn't want to. >> jimmy: you're supposed to do it. you got to do it. no matter what you think about trump, or hillary for that matter, president obama still
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has eight months left in office before his second term is up. naturally, this is a time to look back on all he's accomplished over the past eight years. you know, i was going to make a a joke about this but i -- [ laughter ] i don't think it needs a joke. i think it needs to be slow jammed. you know what i'm talking about, tariq? >> tariq: yeah, jimmy, i think you're saying you'd like to slow jam this news. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: that's right. i wanna slow jam the news. and i'm not the only one. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ]
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>> hello. [ laughter ] i'm president barack obama, and i too, would like to slow jam this news. >> jimmy: hit me eight times! ♪ ♪ [ cheers ] >> it's been an honor and a a privilege to serve as your president over the past eight years. when i first took office, our nation was facing one of the worst recessions in its history. since then, we've added more than 14 million new jobs and lowered the unemployment rate to under 5%. through the actions of my administration, we were able to stimulate the economy and get our country back on track. ♪ >> jimmy: aww yeah. [ laughter ] president obama stimulated long-term growth. [ laughter ] ♪ in both the public and the private sector.
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[ laughter ] ♪ in 2008, the country wasn't feeling in the mood. it was too tired, stressed, said it had a headache. [ laughter ] ♪ barack lit some candles and got some silky satin sheets. ♪ silky satin sheets now >> jimmy: told the american people, "yes, we can." ♪ yes we can it's all right he created tons of jobs for you and me ♪ ♪ and he's got one more left for hillary ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> as president, i'm proud of the many progressive steps our country has taken in recent years, both socially and environmentally. the united states has been a a leader in developing clean energy to ensure the health our planets for future generations. thanks to the affordable care act, an additional 20 million americans now have access to quality health care. and same-sex couples across the
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country now have a a constitutional right to marry. [ cheers ] in short, climate change is real. health care is affordable. and love is love. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: mmm, mmm, mmm. ♪ commander in preach! [ laughter ] ♪ you gotta listen to my man, bareezus. [ laughter ] ♪ he's accomplished a lot in eight years. even when congress tried to block him, he found a way in through the back door. [ laughter ] ♪ when republicans gave him lemons, he made so much lemonade, beyonce started calling him "baracky with the good hair." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ baracky with the good hair his first two terms ended in such a hurry wish he could ♪ ♪ go for three like my man steph curry ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> now, now, there will be no third term. i can't stay forever. besides, daddy's got a hawaiian vacation booked in about 223 days. [ cheers ] but who's counting? that being said, the american people face an important decision this fall. the entire world is watching and they look to us for stability and leadership. now, i know some of the presidential candidates have been critical of my foreign policy. i don't wanna to name any names. ♪ he's talking about donald trump ♪ [ laughter ] >> but i believe that it is of the utmost importance to work alongside other world leaders. that's why i signed the iran nuclear deal. that's why we reopened diplomatic ties with cuba. and that's why i negotiated the new trade deal called trans-pacific partnership, or tpp. ♪ >> jimmy: now, hold on there, prez dispenser. [ laughter ] ♪ are you saying you're down with
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tpp? >> yeah, you know me. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ look, jimmy, the tpp allows american businesses to sell their products both at home and abroad. the more we sell abroad, the more higher paying jobs we provide here at home. it's that simple. ♪ >> jimmy: so what you're saying is, this trade deal will help put everyday americans back to -- ♪ work work work work work ♪ work he put us back to work work work work work ♪ ♪ he put us back to [ cheers ] >> work, work, work, work, work. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: now, mr. president, since you're here, i gotta ask, have you been watching all the election coverage this week about donald trump? ♪ >> no, but i have been watching my new favorite show, "orange is not the new black." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: whoa, whoa, whoa. i'm gonna need you to netflix and chill. [ laughter ]
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i get it if you're a little wound up after all this time. i mean, i can't imagine what it'd be like to do the same job for eight straight years. >> jimmy, you probably never will. [ audience ohs ] ♪ does obamacare cover burns ♪ ♪ >> america's best days are still yet to come. >> jimmy: thank you, mr. president, for all that you've done. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ this country's on track and that is a fact once you go barack you will never go back ♪ ♪ thank you for leading the red white and the blue ♪ >> jimmy: and that is how we slow jam the news. >> oh, yeah. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: give it up for the president of the united states, barack obama! double mic drop! we'll be right back with more of "the tonight show!" come on, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ if you think you've seen it al,
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everyone! what a show we have for you tonight. [ cheers and applause ] this is a very proud moment for us. this is some history tonight. the first sitting president to ever be on "the tonight show" in new york. the 44th president of the united states, barack obama is here this evening. [ cheers and applause ] that's amazing. not only is the president here but we have a musical guest tonight who is an icon. give me one time. ♪ she's the coolest. ♪ she is the sexiest. ♪ she is the queen of pop. madonna is here tonight! [ cheers and applause ] oh! she's doing one of my favorite songs. and she's going to play with the roots. i'm just so excited and thankful and i think she has the hots for me. [ laughter ] guys, you guys ready to go? let's get it started right now. all right, here we go. please welcome the 44th
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president of the united states barack obama. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. >> thank you! >> jimmy: thank you for being here. >> we haven't lost it, man. we can still slow jam. >> jimmy: you can slow jam. >> oh, man. >> jimmy: you know how to do it. welcome on behalf of "the tonight show" and new york city. welcome to -- >> it's great to be here. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is history here, because it's -- "the tonight show's" been in new york for years, but it's never had a a sitting president here. so this is the first time a a sitting president -- >> interesting. >> jimmy: is sitting here. [ laughter ] >> my advance people didn't tell me that. [ light laughter ] i'm not sure i would have done it. [ laughter ] is there a reason why other
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guys didn't do it? >> jimmy: no, yes, no, no. no, there hasn't -- yeah, exactly. the final -- this is the final eight months of your presidency. >> yeah. >> jimmy: are you getting a a little sentimental? gettin' a little weepy? >> no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: come on. >> no, look -- this year's really busy. just like last year was busy. i keep on thinking, all right, at a certain point, things are gonna kind of ease up. and they haven't. and we've gotten a lot of stuff done. you know, i had a cuba trip. i just came back from vietnam, hiroshima. so the work keeps you occupied. every once in a while, you start thinking about the people you've worked with. and that's where you start getting a little sentimental. but you try to fight it off, because you don't want to be crying in the oval office. [ light laughter ] it's a downer and then people would think, my god, you know. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how can you be our leader? >> if you see the president crying -- >> jimmy: every day. >> it could be a problem.
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[ laughter ] could be a problem. so, i try to screen it out. >> jimmy: when is the last day -- like, when do they say you got to have your bags packed and you gotta get out of here? >> i don't know. i should find out. [ laughter ] it's actually amazing, because they literally move all your stuff out in one day. you are living there. and then suddenly -- it's not all out on the south lawn. i mean, they pack it up. [ light laughter ] but they will move it to wherever it is that you want to move it to. and so you're living in the white house up until inauguration day. inauguration day, you're out of there. >> jimmy: and i read on the internet, i don't know, i believe everything on the internet. [ laughter ] and i read that you guys are moving -- you guys are moving, like, two miles away from the white house. >> we will be staying in d.c. because my younger daughter will still be in school and the idea of her having to transfer
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schools, move to a new city halfway through high school would not make me popular. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> i will say it that way. >> jimmy: i thought you were just being like that kid that graduated high school and just never left. like, "hey, guys, how you doing?" >> i mean, it is a little depressing. if you're kind of -- you're like the old guy at the disco, right? >> jimmy: having a kegger on the least lawn, everybody. all right, all right, all right. no, you gotta leave. you have to go, sir. >> people whispering. "he's still here." >> jimmy: what do we say to him? somebody talk to him. but you've done -- i gotta say, you've done a great job with your daughters, because i have two daughters as well. >> can't beat daughters. >> jimmy: you can't, right? >> you cannot beat daughters. [ cheers and applause ] sons out there, i'm not offending you, i'm just stating a fact. can't beat 'em. >> jimmy: yeah. i saw a picture of -- does sasha and malia, do they enjoy living in the white house? they can't wait --
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is it like "frozen" for them? hey, we're sisters. do you wanna build a snowman? [ laughter ] you live in a palace. like, is it fun? >> i think malia, who will be graduating this week, is very eager to get out of there. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what is that going to be like, the graduation? >> i've got some sunglasses and i'm just gonna -- >> jimmy: you're getting' weepy there. >> one more example of the president crying. >> jimmy: you can't, yeah. >> sasha, she was younger when she got there so she's more accustomed to it. but, you know, they've handled it so well. they are wonderful girls. they're smart and funny. but most importantly they're kind. they don't have an attitude. this is the thing michelle and i were most worried about when we got there. we thought, you know, how's this gonna work? you've got these butlers and you've got, you know, guys saluting. and it's a testimony to michelle and my mother-in-law that they have just turned out to be incredible kids.
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i could not be prouder. >> jimmy: i saw a photo of them at this event they were at. sasha was talking to ryan reynolds, hollywood hunk ryan reynolds. [ light laughter ] >> he's a good looking guy. >> jimmy: he's a good looking guy, yeah. >> he's better looking than us. >> jimmy: he is, yeah. but it's the best because malia's in the background behind ryan and she's going "yeah." [ laughter ] i have the photo, because i found it. 'cause it's my favorite. look at how cute that is. [ laughter ] you have to make t-shirts and embarrass sasha on her birthday and make all of her friends wear them. >> i think it's fair to say i embarrass her without t-shirts. yeah, it's actually one of my great gifts is embarrassing sasha. >> jimmy: as a dad, yeah. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: but you must be great and the first lady as well, but also you give advice to kids all the time. you get asked to do commencement speeches. >> just gave a couple. >> jimmy: yeah, which were -- there was one quote that i really enjoyed, you said democracy requires compromise even when you're 100% right.
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>> yeah. >> jimmy: did you get that from michelle? because i think -- i've been married a few years. [ laughter ] >> that was a marital tip as well as -- as well as a tip about democracy. you know, it's true. the point i was making -- i made a couple points. one is despite the news, despite all the rancor, the truth is if you had to be born at any time in human history, and you didn't know who you were going to be ahead of time. you didn't know you were going to be jimmy fallon. you would choose now. because the world is actually healthier, wealthier, better educated, more tolerant, less violent then it has ever been. i was in hiroshima and thinking about the fact that during a a five, six-year span, 60 million people were killed around the world. i mean, it was just devastation. and for all the problems we've got now, what i wanted to
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communicate to folks was there's a reason to be hopeful. we've got challenges, but we can deal with them. what we also have to do, though, if we're going to deal with them, is we have to recognize democracy means you don't get everything you want when you want it all the time. and, you know, this is something you're teaching your 3-year-old, but somehow congress sometimes doesn't get it. sometimes in our politics we expect to get everything. this is a big, complicated, diverse country. we've got to be able to talk to each other and listen and occasionally compromise and stay principled but recognize that it's a long march towards progress. >> jimmy: speaking of compromise, when you leave the white house, you're going to have to kind of compromise a a little bit. like, do you remember how to do stuff? [ laughter ] do you take money out of the atm? >> the atm thing, i remember. pressing buttons on elevators i'm worried about. [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: it's gonna blow your mind. it's really fun. it lights up. it's really fun. >> you know, look, i was this cool high-tech guy when i got there, right. and i was the first president to have a blackberry. [ light laughter ] and so years pass. and no one else has blackberries. [ laughter ] and, you know, i've still got the clip from on the belt. >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. >> right, and then, finally, this year, they said, good news, mr. president, we're going to give you a smart phone instead of a blackberry. i thought, all right, this is cool. i've been seeing malia and sasha doin' all this. michelle's got three of them. she's texting and all this. so i'm excited. i get the thing and they're like, well, mr. president, for security reasons, it's a great phone, state the art, but it doesn't take pictures, you can't text, the phone doesn't work, you know, you can't play your music on it. so basically it's -- does a a 3-year-old have one of those play phones? [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: that's what they give the president of -- >> it's got like the stickers on it. >> jimmy: i'm going to call minnie mouse. hello, minnie mouse, are you there? >> your imaginary friend. that's the phone i've got. >> jimmy: more with president obama after the break, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] stick around it's going to be fun! ♪ what's it like to be in good hands? like finding new ways to be taken care of. home, car, life insurance obviously, ohhh... but with added touches you can't get everywhere else, like claim free rewards... or safe driving bonus checks. even a claim satisfaction guaranteeeeeeeeeee! in means protection plus unique extras only from an expert allstate agent. it's good to be in, good hands.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. we're here with president barack obama right now! [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: now, we have to -- we have to, have to, have to talk about the election. >> do we? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: we really do, yes. i think so, yeah. now, this past week, hillary is now the presumptive nominee for the democrats.
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and you talked to hillary. >> i did. >> jimmy: did you talk to her during -- as she's running? do they ask you for advice? >> yeah, i've actually have spoken to hillary and bernie at certain points during the campaign. i don't know if they asked me for advice, but i give it anyway. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they wouldn't -- >> you know what, it was a a healthy thing for the democratic party to have a a contested primary. i thought that bernie sanders brought enormous energy and new ideas. he pushed the party and challenged them. i thought it made hillary a a better candidate. i think she is whip smart, she is tough, and she deeply cares about working people and putting kids through school and making sure we're growing our economy. so my hope is that over the next couple of weeks, we're able to pull things together -- and what happens during primaries, you get a little ouchy.
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everybody does. when hillary and i ran in 2 2008, you know, your staff and supporters, they're popping off. somebody's reading -- did you see what -- and they start spinning stuff up. >> jimmy: sure. >> so there's a natural process of everybody recognizing that this is not about any individual, but this is about the country and the direction we're going to take it. i think we're going to have a a great convention and we'll do well. >> jimmy: is bernie going to endorse hillary? >> well, i'm sure they're going to have a conversation. >> jimmy: is he ever going to drop out? [ light laughter ] or he's going to stay in? >> i'm going to be talking to him tomorrow. he's going to be coming to the white house. the main role i'm going to be playing in this process is to remind the american people that this is a serious job. this is not reality tv. i've seen the decisions that have to be made. and the work that has to be done.
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and i have a lot of confidence that if the american people are reminded of what's at stake and all the incredibly important issues that we got to get right, that they're going to make a good choice. that's what they usually do. >> jimmy: speaking of reality tv, i don't know if you saw "celebrity apprentice." >> i did. >> jimmy: it's a great show, yeah. [ light laughter ] has donald trump called you for advice or talked to you at all? first of all, you've given some pretty good advice so far if you have. has he called and talked to you? i would call you if i was running. >> no, no, he hasn't. no. >> jimmy: no. [ light laughter ] >> not that i know of. >> jimmy: you think the republicans are happy with their choice? >> we are, but i don't know how -- i don't know how they're feeling. [ cheers and applause ] actually, you know what -- [ laughter ] that was too easy.
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but, but -- the truth is actually, i am worried about the republican party. i know that sounds, you know -- you know what it sounds like. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> but democracy works, this country works when you have two parties that are serious and trying to solve problems and they've got philosophical differences and they have fierce debates and they argue and they contest elections. but at the end of the day, what you want is a healthy two-party system. you want the republican nominee to be somebody who could do the job if they win. and you want folks who understand the issues. and where you can sit across the table from them and you have a principled argument and ultimately can still move the country forward. i actually am not enjoying, and i haven't been enjoying over the last seven years, watching some of the things that happened in the republican
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party. because there's some good people in the republican party. there are wonderful republicans out in the country who want what's best for the country and may disagree with me on some things, but are good, decent people. but what's happened in that party, culminating in this current nomination, i think is not actually good for the country as a whole. it's not something democrats should wish for. and my hope is that maybe once you get through the cycle, there's some corrective action and they get back to being a a center-right party and democratic party being a a center-left party and we start figuring out how to work together. >> jimmy: was it harder for you going in as president and realizing, well, people are going to go, like, not work with me? the republicans are not going to work with me. >> it exceeded my expectations, because when i came in, we were in the middle crisis. and usually your hope is, all right, we can play political games, but when stuff is serious, when we're losing 800,000 jobs a month, when we've got 180,000 troops in
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afghanistan and iraq that we're going to buckle down here for a a second, put the politics aside and just get stuff done, and that did not happen. >> jimmy: like what's the supreme court thing? what's happening with that? because i know there's a seat that need to be filled. >> so this is a good case in point. the supreme court makes the laws, interprets the law of the land and it's binding all across the country. and right now, we're supposed to have nine supreme court justices because -- you know, the passing of justice scalia, we only have eight. and so it's hard for the supreme court to do its job. now, i've nominated somebody who uniformly everybody, including republicans, acknowledges is probably one of the most qualified guys who's ever been nominated for the seat, merrick garland. >> jimmy: merrick garland. >> merrick garland. >> jimmy: very common name. >> he's the chief judge of probably the second most important court in the land. he's been a judge longer than many of the judges who are now
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justices on the supreme court. republicans in the past have said he has impeccable credentials. he's smart, he has a good temperament, he knows how to work with people from all political spectrums. some of them won't even meet with them. so far, at least, they haven't given him a hearing. and that's an example of where if the process of democracy starts breaking down to that degree where you can't even show the courtesy of meeting with a guy who you know is qualified and you won't give him a hearing, because you want to wait and see if maybe your guy wins the election and nominates somebody. then you start seeing the court system breaking down. you start seeing vacancies. people can't get access to the courts. and you see the country start dividing in ways that's really unhealthy. so that's a good example of my hope that the republican party steps back and reflects and says, you know what, that's not the way we should be doing
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business. because we don't want democrats to be doing business if we have a republican president. >> jimmy: like, would you ever think to do that job? because you're a lawyer. can you appoint yourself? >> appoint myself? >> jimmy: yeah. >> you know -- >> jimmy: aren't you happy i'm not in the white house? >> i am. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: bad idea. that's a bad idea. >> i mean, i look pretty good in a robe. but it's not something that i think is the best way for me to use my time after i get out of office. >> jimmy: we have a lot of guests on our show and they always have stories about meeting you. and fumbling and getting nervous. i don't know if you remember the first time i met you and the first lady, i was doing stand-up comedy at a barbecue for military families. >> that was great. we so appreciated it. >> jimmy: thank you. i loved it as well. i was opening up for the foo fighters. it was fourth of july in the white house. i get there. i was so nervous to meet you. i was googling how to say hello to the first lady. like, do i say hello first
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lady, mrs. obama, mrs. obama, first lady. i didn't know how to say it. >> i think you actually said all of them. >> jimmy: i think i did too. i wore a three-piece suit that day because i was very -- i just wanted to impress you. [ light laughter ] but it was an outdoor event on the fourth of july and i remember i got there and dave grohl was there in board shirts and a t-shirt. he goes, "you look hot." i go, "i really am, it's really boiling. this is crazy." i go, "aren't you -- meeting the president?" basically saying, "we're the foo fighters." i go, yeah. and then we wait in line, because we're going to get our picture taken with you guys. i was so nervous to meet you. i went up and i was practicing, like, "hello, first lady, mrs. first lady." and i walk over and the first lady starts laughing and looking at me. she goes, "oh, honey, oh, my gosh, so sweaty." [ laughter ] true story. loosened my tie. and i looked at you and you had a short-sleeved shirt and khakis on. i go, "hello, mr. president,
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sir." and you go, "didn't you get the memo? it's a barbecue." [ laughter and applause ] they took the picture and they escorted me out. and then i hadn't seen you since. [ laughter ] i was just wondering, do people get -- do you have any stories like that, where people are just so embarrassing like that and you try and make them feel better? >> nothing that embarrassing. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm sure -- >> i think that was actually the peak of awkwardness. >> jimmy: yeah, perfect, thank you. can i just ask you just straight up, what is the first thing you're going to do when you leave office, do you know? >> i'm going to get some sleep, that's for sure. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you know, it's actually a a moving thing. you're talking about sentimentality. but i remember from my inauguration, seeing president
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bush, you get on marine one and that's the last time you get on marine one. they fly you to andrews air force base. then you get on air force one and it's your last flight. then they'll take you anywhere you want. i think it's fair to say it will be some place warm. because it's going to be january and every inauguration has been freezing. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and then, you know, i think michelle and i will take a a break somewhere for a couple weeks. you know, let the girls manage for themselves. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> hopefully, they'll be okay when we get back. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: if you need to stay warm, i have a three-piece suit for you. >> oh, no. >> jimmy: i have a fun idea for you after the break. can you stick around for a a little bit? >> i can stick around for a a little bit. you guys, president obama and i have something fun planned after the break. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: welcome back to "the tonight show." we are here with the 44th president of the united states, barack obama. thank you so much, again, for being here. >> it's been fun. i'm having a great time. >> jimmy: oh, good, good, good, i'm happy to hear that. you're nearing the end of your second term. you must have a lot to be thankful for yourself. >> i do. >> jimmy: and i thought maybe if you'd like, you're more than welcome to write out some thank you notes right now. [ cheers and applause ] >> oh, that's a good use of my time. >> jimmy: let's do that. >> right here? >> jimmy: yeah. >> okay. >> jimmy: right there. here you go. i have notes for you right here. >> you got the cards? >> jimmy: here's a card. here's a pen. [ light laughter ] >> that's a nice pen. can i keep it? >> jimmy: of course, yeah. [ laughter ] >> all right, roots, can i get some thank you note writing music please? ♪ >> jimmy: there goes james.
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>> thank you, my 2 2008 slogan, "yes, we can." or as i now like to call you, "yes, we did." [ cheers and applause ] [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i'll write one now. >> okay. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, president obama's birth certificate. he used to carry you around to prove he was american. now he needs to carry around to prove he's only 54. [ laughter and applause ] that's not -- >> what? >> jimmy: i did't -- don't know how that got there. i don't know how that got there. [ light laughter ] you're in trouble. >> thank you, questlove's
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hairstylist, for inspiring me to bring back the "obama-fro" after i leave the white house. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, not bad, not bad. good-looking guy. ♪ thank you, hillary clinton, for possibly becoming the first f -- president. i would have said "female" but someone deleted the "emale." [ audience ohs ] [ cheers and applause ] hey! you're going to get in trouble for this. you can't leave these around. i'm appalled. i'm so sorry. hey, you're in trouble. >> i'm not sure this is a good idea. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, please. >> should have done thank you notes on my own. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: after you. where's my music? [ light laughter ] ♪ thank you, congress, for
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spending eight years wishing you could replace me with a a republican. or to put it another way, how do you like me now? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. you know how to do this. i have one final -- one final thank you note. here we go. ♪ thank you, president obama, for serving our nation with dignity, class, patience, eloquence, optimism, and integrity. thus marking the first time anyone has sincerely said, "thanks, obama." there you go, right there. [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much. our thanks to the 44th president of the united states, barack obama! [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. she recently wrapped her wildly successful "rebel heart" tour which grossed over $190 million making her the highest grossing solo touring artist in the world. oh, i love her so much. performing "borderline," please welcome madonna! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ something in the way you love me won't let me be i don't want to be your
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prisoner so baby won't ♪ ♪ you set me free stop playing with my heart finish what you start when you make ♪ ♪ my love come down if you want me let me know baby let it show honey don't you fool around ♪ ♪ just try to understand understand i've given all i can cause you got ♪ ♪ the best of me borderline feels like i'm going to lose my mind ♪ ♪ you just keep on
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pushing my love over the borderline borderline ♪ ♪ feels like i'm going to lose my mind ♪ ♪ you just keep on pushing my love over the borderline borderline ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ something in your eyes is makin' such a fool of me when you hold me in your arms you love me till ♪
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♪ i just can't see but then you let me down when i look around baby you just ♪ ♪ can't be found stop driving me away i just wanna stay there's something i ♪ ♪ just have to say just try to understand understand i've given all i can ♪ ♪ cause you got the best of me borderline feels like i'm going to ♪ ♪ lose my mind you just keep on pushing my love over the borderline ♪
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♪ borderline feels like i'm going to lose my mind you just keep on ♪ ♪ pushing my love over the borderline borderline ♪ ♪ keep pushing me keep pushing me keep pushing my love come on baby ♪ ♪ keep on pushing my love come on darlin over the borderline yeah ♪ ♪ la la la la la la la la la la la la la la ♪ ♪ you just keep on pushing my love over the borderline ♪ boderline ♪
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♪ keep pushing me keep pushing me keep pushing my love keep on pushing my love ♪ ♪ come on baby come on darlin over the borderline borderline ♪ ♪ la la la la la la la la la la la la ♪ ♪ you just keep on pushing my love over the borderline ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. i've been waiting all night for this. >> jimmy: madonna! >> thank you. push me over the borderline. push me. >> jimmy: we'll be right back, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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okay, ready?
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