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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  April 12, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EDT

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thanks so much for joining us tonight. up next, late show with steven car bear with tom heddlestn and lauren bonanty. see you back here tomorrow. >> jon: stephen colbert, everybody! captioning sponsored by cbs
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( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! welcome to the "late show," everybody! ( cheers and applause ) thanks so much! ( cheers and applause ) welcome to the "late show," everybody. i am stephen colbert. it feels great to be back after having a week off. and you know what one week of vacation does? it primes you for another week of vacation. ( laughter ) i was really-- i was really finding my vacation groove there at the end, you know? it was so nice-- we went down to the bahamas and me and my family ours, captain morgan. ( laughter ) he's a great guy, great guy-- i am worried about him.
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he's got a little problem. >> jon: yeah. >> stephen: and he kept showing up in my mirror at night. ( laughter ) did you have a good week? what did you do, jon? >> jon: i wasn't hanging out with the captain. >> stephen: no! you're not friends with him-- you don't hang out with him ever, do you? >> no, i'm not-- >> stephen: he's a good guy! >> jon: wild, wild guy. yeah, i can't hang with him for too long. >> stephen: so what did you do? >> jon: no, i just was here, you know, and then i went to l.a.-- >> stephen: in the theater? you stayed right here on stage? ( laughter ) >> jon: no, i was, like, here, like, home. >> stephen: home, okay, like in new york city? >> jon: new york city, yeah. i don't want to tell you my address, though. ( laughter ) >> stephen: i'm not asking you for your address, jon. i'm not a stalker. i'm not a stalker. >> jon: i was just trying to imply i was in new york-- >> stephen: in new york the entire time. >> jon: --without telling you where i live. >> stephen: okay. that's fine. i know where you live. i know where you live. >> jon: you do? >> stephen: i do. >> jon: have i told you or did you-- ? >> stephen: no, i found out where you live, jon. >> jon: oh-ho-ha! >> stephen: you've not told me, but i'm not going to have
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as you are and not know where you live. what are you, crazy? what if you don't show up one day, i have to send somebody to get you. >> jon: oh, you can do that? ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> stephen: oh, yeah! ( laughter and applause ) yeah! i can do that, so watch it! hey, you know who else had a great week? bernie sanders. ( cheers and applause ) pretty good. saturday, saturday, bernie won three caucuses, or caucusii-- ( laughter ) he won washington, alaska, and hawaii, where voters said "aloha" to bernie sanders, and to hillary clinton they said "aloha." ( laughter ) that's an exciting three-state sweep for senator sanders. what was that magic that put him over the top? well, it's possible it was this moment on friday. >> now, you see, this little bird doesn't know it.
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all-- ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: yes! ( laughter ) yes, a bird landed on bernie sanders' podium. what are the odds that a bird would be attracted to an old man who looks like he has bread in his pockets? ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) of course this is not necessarily a sign that bernie is the chosen one. it is spring. birds are everywhere. in fact, i've got a bird right here in the studio who's going to help me sing a happy song about spring. come on in, mr. bird! say hi, everybody! >> hi, everybody. hi there! hi there!
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now, mr. bird, do you want to join me in a happy song of spring? >> i'd love to! but first, i want to talk to you about america's vanishing middle class. ( laughter ) >> stephen: okay, wait. are you-- wait, are you the bird that landed on bernie's podium? >> what? no! stephen, that was a finch, i'm a bluebird. so all birds look alike to you? you're a racist! >> stephen: no, no, i'm not a racist! but-- i was confused, i'm sorry. how about we just sing that song about spring? >> well, how about we sing about how 1% of the birds at america's parks get 99% of the bird seed! you know, far too many birds in america-- ( laughter ) ( applause ) yeah, it's true, it's true! far too many birds in america cannot even afford food to regurgitate into the mouths of their young. join the revolution! feel the bird! ( laughter ) >> stephen: okay, i think i've got-- okay, i understand, you're passionate, we've got the message. you're voting for bernie sanders.
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my heart is with bernie, but i'm voting for trump! >> stephen: why, why would you vote for trump? >> c'mon, stephen, my whole family could nest in his hair! ( rim shot ) ( laughter ) >> stephen: thank you. thank you very much. >> there's a lot of room in there. >> stephen: well, fair enough. well, we've got a great show for you tonight, everybody. star of the hank williams biopic "i saw the light," tom hiddleston is here, ladies and gentlemen. ( cheers and applause ) >> oh, he's great! he has charisma. lots of charisma. >> stephen: and from the broadway show "she loves me," laura benanti is here. ( cheers and applause ) >> oooh, love her! love her! love her! >> stephen: and we will have a musical performance from frightened rabbit. ( cheers and applause ) >> oooh, great band, or so i've heard from my friends, who know better about such things. ( band playing ) >> stephen: oh, wait-- i can't hear what you're saying but did you hear that? that's the sweet sound of jon batiste and stay human. say hi to the band, everybody. ( cheers and applause )
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whoo! >> stephen: they are about to feed you the funk worm, but before they do, one more thing: the oculus rift virtual reality headset is available for purchase today, unless you've been wearing one this entire time! ( band playing ) >> announcer: tonight... stephen welcomes: tom hiddleston! laura benanti! and a musical performance by frightened rabbit! featuring jon batiste and stay human.
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show" with stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! oh, whoo! it feels good to be back! it feels good to be back. >> jon: yeah, it feels good to be back. feels good to be back. >> stephen: really great to be back. rested, refreshed, it really feels good. jon, you're a basketball guy. >> jon: right, right. >> stephen: have you been following march madness? >> jon: i-- i don't follow-- i like the bulls. ( laughter ) >> stephen: that's-- i like the bulls, too, i like the bulls, too. but that's-- they're not a college team. so, you don't follow it at all? >> jon: no, i haven't been following march madness. >> stephen: no? >> jon: but i used to-- i like duke when i watch basketball. >> stephen: they played! they played last week. >> jon: oh. >> stephen: they did, yeah.
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now. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: yeah. >> stephen: i was pulling for u.v.a., but they collapsed in the face of syracuse last night. yeah, they-- at the last minute they gave up, like, 27 points to 8 points in the last six minutes of the game. it was the biggest stomping virginia's had since 1865. ( laughter ) yeah, it was sad. so now i've got to go villanova. >> jon: they really messed up. they messed up bad. >> stephen: so you haven't watched at all? >> jon: i'm just doing other stuff when the game is on, so. like, i'm asleep, or i'm eating. ( laughter ) >> stephen: and how late do you sleep? the games are on at night and, you know, how furiously do you eat? you can't get your eyes around a burger to look at a screen? >> jon: i was-- wait... what day is it? >> stephen: it's monday! >> jon: sometimes you lose track, you know. you get into the music and it takes you into another space.
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>> jon: then you just, you wake up and it's time to come back here. ( laughter ) ( applause ) ( laughs ) >> stephen: no, i get it. i totally get it. no, no, i understand. sometimes you wake up and go, oh, it's time to go back there. i know that feeling. >> jon: yeah. >> stephen: one of the things i learned-- one of the things, i know you, like, you spend a lot of time, like, sleeping. >> jon: yeah. >> stephen: and one of the things, one of the things that i learned when i first started off in comedy, actually, there was a woman named josephine forestberg at the second city in chicago which is where i started off, and she said to people who wanted to do this for a living, she said, "oh, that's good, i'm glad you want to do this. be prepared to spend a lot of beautiful days in dark, dirty rooms." >> jon: wow, that's true. >> stephen: which is true. it's a lot of beautiful days in dark, dirty rooms, because you've got to really like this. so when we're on vacation, i like to be outside, you know? >> jon: that's right. >> stephen: i like to go out there, you know, i love being outside. >> jon: yeah. >> stephen: the wind in my hair, you know, the grass under my feet, the park ranger with the flashlight in my face, saying,
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( laughter ) so, one of the things i'm really alarmed about, i heard this news just the other day-- environmental scientists, and this is true, have tested salmon in the puget sound out around seattle, and they found that because those salmon are near all these wastewater treatment plants, the salmon are full of drugs including prozac. and, i don't blame them, because if i spent my life swimming in waste water, i would definitely need a mood stabilizer. so thanks to contaminated water, like this glass we got from the puget sound, okay, scientists found that those salmon also contain flonase, aleve, tylenol, advil, benedryl, cipro, paxil, valium, zoloft, tagamet, oxycontin, darvon, and lipitor. ( audience reacts ) consult your doctor to see if salmon is right for you. ( applause )
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side-effects of salmon may include everything. but here's the real kicker-- the puget sound salmon also tested positive for cocaine. that's right, primo fish flake. bolivian gill powder. neptune's nose caviar. the devil's sea salt. little mermaid's little helper. ( laughter ) frankly, frankly, i'm a little worried about the amount of drugs in our fish. so right now i'm going to check in with friend of the show and puget sound resident-- ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, sammy the salmon. sammy! ( cheers and applause ) >> hello, stephen. whooooooooooooooo! >> stephen: hello, sammy! sammy, tell me my friend, my friend, how are you feeling? >> invincible! i will fight a grizzly bear! >> stephen: okay, calm down. so, what's going on with you and your friends in the puget sound? >> what do you mean, what's going on? are you a cop? >> stephen: no, i'm not a cop.
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if you're a cop, or else this is entrapment. >> stephen: sammy, i'm just worried about you-- with all those drugs in your system, are you okay? >> of course, i'm okay! why, do i look high to you? >> stephen: well, your eyes are a little bloodshot, sammy. you need to face the fact that you have a problem. >> oh, great, now you sound like denise. those are my eggs, too-- i deserve to see them! listen, stephen, can i borrow a little cash? >> stephen: uh, yeah, i guess so, how much? >> $45,000. >> stephen: okay, what, what, why, what? >> i owe money to a loan shark. ( laughter ) >> stephen: okay, let me guess, he's an actual shark? >> no, sharks don't have money. what, are you high? ( laughter ) hold on!! i've just had a great new business idea. it's a bike, but it has four wheels and you can sit inside it and it has a motor. >> stephen: that's a car. >> shut up, i hate you! hey, you want to go to spain for a year? i feel really close to you! >> stephen: sammy, you've got to slow down! >> i'm fine, okay?
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mouth. i'm having some trouble breathing. >> stephen: here, you know what? have some puget sound water. i've got some for you right here, hold on. >> yeeaaaah! me likey! i'll spawn with anything that moves! stephen, you want to dance? let's dance! ( beatboxing ) ( laughter ) look at me now, denise! ( laughter ) ( beatboxing ) ( heavy breathing ) ( beatboxing ) ( laughter ) >> stephen: okay, sammy the salmon, everybody. >> i cannot be killed! whooooo! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: we'll be right back with tom hiddleston.
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new york. what makes it think bigger? go bolder? push for a living wage that's higher. for tuition-free public college. justice that works for all. for a middle-class that... must. be. saved. you do. values. forged in new york. brooklyn born. native son. who knows what we know: we're all in this together. i'm bernie sanders and i approve this message. ( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. my first guest tonight is the talented actor you know as loki
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he now stars as hank williams in the biopic "i saw the light." please welcome tom hiddleston. ( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: i never want to-- i never want to sit before my guest. >> yeah. >> stephen: people are very excited for tom hiddleston! ( cheers and applause ) >> thank you very much, everybody. it's good to be here. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: it's lovely to have you back. this is the second time you've >> well, i had such a good time last time, i thought i'd-- yeah, >> stephen: you were here with "crimson peak" last time-- >> that's right, i was. >> stephen: where you were a definite baddie in that one.. >> yes, i was. >> stephen: you weren't going to necessarily let on how much of a baddie you were when you came on movie-- you're a very bad person. >> yes, i was.
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>> stephen: you did. and you also showed-- you also got a little bit of attention for showing your-- your butt. you showed your butt in the movie-- ( cheers and applause ) or, or as we said-- >> stephen: --your english countryside, exactly. the hill country. >> come to england, it's full of rolling hills. it's a bid for tourism. >> stephen: it is, yeah. well, you've done it again because there is a show in england right now called "the night manager," hasn't come to the united states. starts on amc? >> amc on april 19, yeah. >> stephen: amc, okay, and-- >> oh, good lord. >> stephen: and, your butt stars prominently in that one, as well. there are people who got excited about it. "okay, tom hiddleston's bum deserves his own twitter profile. hashtag hiddlesbum."
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"hashtag hiddlesbum." "good lord, that's an excellent bottom, hashtag hiddlesbum." ( laughter ) >> my parents will be so proud. ( laughter ) >> stephen: yes. trained actor-- you, the royal academy of dramatic arts? >> that's right, yeah. >> stephen: did you-- did you-- >> yes. there's no class in hiddlesbum errata. >> stephen: oh really? >> no, no, that's, yeah-- >> stephen: that's not part of the instrument that they focus on? >> actually, now you mention it, there is a moment, there's always a moment in training where you're given a role where you have to be comfortable with, with nakedness. i think they see it as part of the training, because sometimes if the scene does require it, then i don't have a problem with it. >> stephen: what was-- do you remember what part you were given to train you to be naked? ( laughter ) >> i'm afraid i don't. maybe, i think it was a-- no, it was an edward bond play about the poet john claire. and there's a love scene, and edward bond is very specific that there should be, there
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otherwise he doesn't believe in it. >> stephen: how old were you at the time? >> i was 22. >> stephen: that's an excellent time to be naked. ( laughter ) that was-- that was-- i actually had to do a nude scene once too. when i was young and sort of being an actor-- i was 19. >> right. >> stephen: an even better time to be naked. >> a better time to be naked. yeah, everything's ready at that time. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> stephen: it's true. it's true. >> yeah. thank god we didn't have the internet back then. >> stephen: yeah, yeah. but not only are you a classically trained actor, you're a classically educated man-- you're a scholar of some sort, you went to cambridge university. >> yes, i did, yeah. >> stephen: and you studied classics, that was your focus. what do you do with a classics degree, other than, like, "hey, do you want to know about ovid's metamorphosis? because i translated it." ( laughter ) >> i can tell you about it. >> stephen: yeah. >> apollo and daphne. >> stephen: yeah, what did you-- what was your plan? >> honestly, i didn't know. i'd always-- i discovered strangely i was good at it.
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at school i found i was good at. terrible at math, terrible at science, and then i started learning latin declensions, and i was like, "i know the answer to that." and i just-- >> stephen: sure. ( latin ) >> right, exactly! and then i-- and then i actually became really interested in it. i think those, the stories are so great. i genuinely loved reading "the odyssey" and "the iliad" and plato in the original greek. it's kind of-- it's like reading-- >> stephen: wow. hold on-- ( laughter ) when you-- when people read it in not the original greek, you go, you're not really getting it. ( laughter ) >> you know, you just don't get the-- ( laughter ) >> stephen: is it really? >> something in the-- >> stephen: yeah? >> no, it's a bit like-- i suppose, you know, the french talk about, they wish they could read shakespeare, and they read translations of shakespeare and they have to work their english up to a point where they can read shakespeare in english. and it's a bit like, you know, when you read stuff in latin and greek, it's a weird foundation in language.
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because if there's a word i don't understand, it usually comes from a latin or greek root so i sort of know what it means. >> stephen: i've heard it described that reading a great work of art not in the original language, reading a translation, is like kissing a woman through a veil. >> who wants to do that? ( laughter ) >> stephen: not me. not me. >> not me, either. >> stephen: but speaking of shakespeare, you are now playing someone who has been called the hillbilly shakespeare. >> that is correct. >> stephen: hank williams. he is-- he is sort of-- he is one of the great founders of american modern country music. >> yeah. >> stephen: and, did you grow up with hank williams? did you know who this guy was? >> not really. i mean, i knew the words to "hey good looking"-- i think everybody does. >> stephen: but other than that, there wasn't a lot of hank williams at cambridge? >> no. ( laughter ) not really, no. but it's funny-- when i traced it back, i fell in love with the rolling stones, for example, when i was 15, like everybody
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tonk women" as a 15-year-old teenager in my bedroom, i loved it, but i had no idea what a honky tonk was. ( laughter ) it seemed-- honky tonk seemed very exotic to me and it was a fun word. without it-- >> stephen: the word "exotic" is not generally applied to american country music over here. ( laughter ) >> i appreciate that. but interestingly enough, it is like the fabric of america, all that old stuff, the things you take for granted is quite exotic to us because we don't have it. we have all this other stuff. we have all our history, and-- >> stephen: all that shakespeare stuff. >> pfft, yeah. >> stephen: well, you've nailed the accent. it's a beautiful performance. >> thank you. >> stephen: and let's take a look at it right now. this is a clip between you and your wife, who is played by-- >> elizabeth olsen. >> stephen: elizabeth olsen. jim?
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>> mm-hmm. >> "now, where the inspiration from "move it on over" came from, hank couldn't say. it sure wasn't his own married life-- mr. and mrs. hank williams lead a model life." >> you think that's funny. >> i kind of do, don't you? ooh... >> hmm? >> also says we sold over 90,000-- my god. >> if that's even half true, i wonder what kind of money that really adds up to? >> it adds up to hank williams is a big damn deal. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: very convincing! i'm a southerner, that's very convincing. now, before you played this, did you-- do you play an instrument yourself? >> i mean, i noodled around on the guitar, as much as any student does, i think. >> stephen: i understand you have a very specific instrument you know how to play, that very few people actually master. ( laughs ) i understand you know how to play the spoons. ( cheers and applause )
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>> this is-- this is one of those-- this is one of my special skills with my cv. it's so funny, my mom arranged an engagement party for my baby sister last summer, and she'd redone the whole house, and she'd done a beautiful kitchen, she replastered the walls and everything, and my sister's got very good friends who are folk musicians who are playing in the kitchen that night, and i obviously got over-excited and the next morning came down to breakfast and there were these indentations in the dresser, from where i had been scrambling around in the kitchen drawers and i picked up the spoons and i'd been playing all over the kitchen. but she loves it now, it's a happy memory. or so she says. ( laughter ) this is how for those of you who don't know, i learned this in a lock-in in camden. >> stephen: what's a lock-in? is that jail? >> uh, no.
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its hours and they lock the doors and lock you in and keep serving and you just kind of keep going, basically. ( applause ) and it was an irish pub-- >> stephen: so they lock the doors. >> so they lock the doors and they say, "here's another pint," and then they brought all-- this is an irish pub in camden town. they brought all their instruments downstairs and the obligation was, you can stay and drink if you play music. and so they handed me this pair of spoons, and i was like, i don't know what to do with that. but five hours later, i was an "aficionado." ( applause ) okay, so here goes. >> stephen: do you need anything else? >> i'm good. i just start. ( playing spoons with irish music background )
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>> stephen: we'll be right back with more tom hiddleston! ( cheers and applause ) eh eh ehe eh eh want you teach it to me
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( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody! we're here with our friend tom hiddleston. ( cheers and applause ) and tom-- ( cheers and applause ) who actually, has done a fair amount of damage to the edge of my desk here with his spoons, i want to point out. >> yeah, i'm sorry. >> stephen: tom is playing hank williams in the new movie "i saw the light." now, hank williams was a bit of a-- was a beloved character but a bit of a-- he had a dark side. >> yes, he did, yeah. >> stephen: and, tell me about luke the drifter. i never knew about luke the drifter. who was he? >> luke the drifter was a really extraordinary discovery for me. he-- he-- it was towards the end of his life, once he became a star--
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>> he was 29 when he died, he was one of those stars that burned very bright and not for long. and towards the end of his life, he released these-- they are essentially poems, under a pseudonym of luke the drifter, with mgm records. they didn't make any money. >> stephen: he didn't tell anybody it was him? >> he didn't really tell anybody-- some people knew-- i think fans knew it was him. but they are meditations on the art of life and loneliness and sadness and death. one's called "the funeral," one's called "beyond the sunset." >> stephen: why do you think he wrote such dark things for his audience? >> i don't know. i think he really, he wrestled with himself. i think he had some formidable demons, and i want-- for which i have so much compassion. he became a star very quickly. he had no real support, no one to anchor him, i think. and it was his way of expelling
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there was a huge tension between his charisma on stage-- he was clearly electrifying, people attest to that. he was elvis, before elvis. >> stephen: and he had hit after hit, you know. "hey good looking," "your cheating heart--" >> right, but, but inside there was a vulnerability. >> stephen: now, did you sing before ever doing this part? had you ever professionally sang? >> never sang. >> stephen: really? >> never sang. was never in the choir, never in the band. >> stephen: because you kill it as hank williams. >> thank you. >> stephen: you sing beautifully. >> thank you. >> stephen: that's a very distinct voice. >> well, he's a tenor, i'm a baritone. he was also born in mount olive, alabama in 1923, and i was born in london in 1981. ( laughter ) so, there's some distance between us. >> stephen: well, i, i really wish we could have had you to sing. maybe you-- would you-- would you-- do you feel comfortable singing? ( cheers and applause )
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( cheers and applause ) i feel like-- i do feel like, you know, if you want to see me sing, you should go and see the film. ( audience reacts ) >> stephen: okay. we'll see. okay. hold on. okay, you know what i know? i grew up with hank williams. >> you did? >> stephen: how about "i saw the light." jon, can you? i wandered-- i wandered so aimless life full of sin ( cheers and applause ) i wouldn't let my dear savior in ( in harmony ) then jesus came like a stranger in the night praise the lord
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i saw the light i saw the light no more darkness no more night now i'm so happy no sorrow in sight praise the lord i saw the light >> stephen: everybody! i saw the light i saw the light no more darkness no more night now i'm so happy no sorrow in sight praise the lord i saw the light praise the lord i saw... the light ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: "i saw the light" is in theaters now. tom hiddleston everybody! we'll be right back.
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thank you for dining with us. hope to see you again soon. whoa, whoa, i got this. just gotta get the check. almost there. i can't reach it. if you have alligator arms, you avoid picking up the check. what? it's what you do. i got this. thanks, dennis! if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. growwwlph. it's what you do. oh that is good crispy duck. ( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome back everybody. my next guest is a tony award winning actress appearing now on broadway in "she loves me." please welcome laura benanti.
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( applause ) >> hi. >> stephen: hi, how are you? >> i'm well, how are you? >> stephen: very good. nice to see you again. >> nice to see you again. >> stephen: and congratulations, because you are starring in "she loves me," roundabout theaters producton, studio 54. >> yeah. ( applause ) >> stephen: and it's getting fantastic reviews, fantastic reviews. you're the toast of broadway. >> oh, my goodness. >> stephen: congratulations. >> thank you so much. >> stephen: now, what some people may not know, is that this is-- this is-- this is "you've got mail" with music. >> yes, the movie "you've got mail" is based on the story of "she loves me." >> stephen: based on this. at what point do you say to yourself, "am i tom hanks? who am i in this movie?" ( laughter ) >> i'm always tom hanks! >> stephen: everyone wants to be tom hanks. >> absolutely, who doesn't? >> stephen: well, congratulations. for some of the people out there-- not me. i love broadway. >> i know, thank you. broadway loves you!
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you sent us! >> stephen: oh, you're welcome! >> yeah, we really appreciate it. >> stephen: well, i like to get you people fat. ( laughter ) >> yeah, sure! and it's great right before you sing, just to get real phlegm-y. >> stephen: yeah, a lot of dairy products, very good for performing. >> very good. >> stephen: for people out there-- i love broadway, but for people out there who don't-- who aren't hooked on broadway, give me the 30-second sell for people out there who may not understand why broadway is so great. >> broadway, for me, seeing a live performance, having my heart beat at the same time as a thousand other people, while i sing to them, there is nothing more special than that. i feel like when we can no longer speak our feelings, we sing them and dance them, which we don't normally get to do in real life-- or if you do, you get carted away. ( laughter ) yeah, right. so, that, to me, that's the pitch. >> stephen: i buy it, i buy it. what i like about it is-- ( applause ) what i like about it is that i think people are so good at hiding their feelings from each other, you know, defensively, you go to the theater and you're
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somebody in front of you have a feeling that you're not willing to show. ( laughter ) >> sure. also i think most people can't do pirouettes and sing high c. so that's also part of it too, where you're watching, like sporting events, i feel like are the same way-- not everybody can dunk a basket, so it's-- right? that's what it's called, in sports, dunking a basket? >> stephen: it's dunk a basket. >> it's dunk a basket? >> stephen: dunk a basket, yeah. don't ask jon, he doesn't watch basketball. ( laughter ) >> jon: hey! i play... >> i do, because it's march madness and my husband has it on 24-7. >> stephen: do you-- who are you pulling for? >> the-- people-- who play basketball. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> stephen: they're the best! they're so good! >> i like the people who win. >> stephen: i like those winners, too. speaking of winners. >> yes. >> stephen: you actually-- you know, trump is a winner. >> yes. >> stephen: and trump says we're going to win and keep on winning until we don't want to win anymore. >> okay. >> stephen: now, particularly-- now, we'll get to, in a second, your connection with him, but do you want him to win? >> mmm-nnn... ( cheers and applause )
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how about leave it at maybe, not necessarily? >> yeah, not necessarily. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: but if he does win-- but if he does win, what's fantastic is that you're so ready, like, it might be good for you, if he does win-- >> it might be good for me. >> stephen: --because here you are, here's a picture of you right here, and-- >> you got it? >> stephen: --here's mrs. trump, right there. ( audience reacts ) >> i'm going to have a second career as an impersonator. >> stephen: get a close-up. ( applause ) >> my favorite thing she does-- ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) what's hilarious to me is, i've never actually heard her speak. i've only seen her clap and appear vaguely like she's looking for the nearest exit. you know, where she's just like-- >> stephen: yes. >> but my favorite thing she does is occasionally when he's talking, she'll be behind him and she'll look directly into
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and i feel like she's sending me a message or something, where i'm like, blink once if you're fine, blink twice if you're, like, get me the hell out of here-- ( laughter ) >> stephen: she's fine, she's fine. >> blink three-- blink three times just to show us you can blink. ( laughter ) >> stephen: she's very fine. i've met her. >> you have? >> stephen: no, but i'm going to say she's a lovely woman. >> she's my meal ticket. so let's do this, trump. ( laughter ) make america great again! >> stephen: you know what she has? you know what she has? she has a real zoolander blue steel look. >> yeah, she's got that down, it's a serious squint and a lip. >> stephen: now, besides broadway, you are also, obviously, you are superman-- supergirl's mom-- >> not so obviously, you had to piece that together! obviously, hurrr! >> stephen: you play supergirl's mom on "supergirl," here on the cbs network. >> i do. >> stephen: and her adversary. >> her evil aunt. >> stephen: her evil aunt-- which is different than her evil ant. >> yes! >> stephen: this is her, her evil aunt--
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>> stephen: much more evil! much more evil if it's an aunt! and, now, and now, do you get paid twice because you're doing two characters? >> no, i do not, cbs... ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: when you perform on television and when you perform on stage, do you ever forget when you're performing on television that you're not performing on stage and do a huge-- >> yes, yes! ( laughter ) actually, the first time i ever did anything on television, my very first line, there was sound, you know, we have microphones on and there are sound guys listening, and i came on and i said my line, and i could see the sound guy go, "oh, my gosh!" they're, like, "hey, laura, just talk like a person." i was, like, "all right!" we don't talk like people on broadway. we talk like this... ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: not only-- you're actually married to someone who, we in entertainment call, a human being.
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>> stephen: he is not in the entertainment industry. >> he's a civilian. >> stephen: he's a civilian. does he understand at all what broadway people are like? because you guys, of all people in entertainment, are the most "artsy-fartsy touchy-feely--" >> we're like carnies! >> stephen: "--i want to get to know you," people in the world. like, you will hug for long times and for no reason. >> yeah, i feel like the hugging was a lot for him at first, when we first started dating and he would meet my friends and they would just bear-hug him and sort of kiss him on both cheeks, and he was like, "oh, okay..." but now he's, he's so open, actually, to everything. he's such an amazing man. he loves my theater friends and he gets along with them really well, and they think he's just fascinating-- like, they're seeing something-- like, a bear at the zoo! >> stephen: what does he do? >> he just stands there, not talking and they're like, "what's that like?" ( laughter ) "what's that?" you know what i'm saying? >> stephen: i know exactly what you're saying. >> just being, like, a normal human. >> stephen: no, the humans are very interesting. >> i know! >> stephen: yeah! well, "she loves me" is at
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this is beautiful laura benanti, everybody. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) why do we have aflac... aflac... and major medical? major medical boyyy, yeah! berr, der berrp... i help pay the doctor, ain't that enough for you? there's things major medical doesn't do. aflac! pays cash so we don't have to fret. something families should get! like a safety net! help with food, gas and rent so cover your back, with... a-a-a-a-a-a-a-aflac! learn about one day pay at mmm. bacon is lookin good. let's instabrag. honey, jalapeo boom boom, h-how is there no bacon emoji? denny's new honey jalapeo bacon, part of the red white and bacon menu.
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there are those who say we cannot defeat a corrupt political system and fix a rigged economy. but i believe we need to lift our vision above the obstacles in place and look to the american horizon. to a nation where every child can not only dream of going to college, but attend one. where quality healthcare will be a birthright of every citizen. where a good job is not a wish, but a reality. where women receive equal pay and a living wage is paid to all. an america where after a lifetime of labor, there is time for rest and grandchildren. a nation that defends our people and our values, but no longer carries so much of that burden alone. i know we can create that america if we listen to our conscience and our hearts and not to the pundits and the naysayers. i'm bernie sanders. i approve this message,
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>> stephen: here with the song, "get out," ladies and gentlemen, frightened rabbit! ( cheers and applause ) i'm in the arch of the church between her thumb and her forefinger i'm a worshipper a zealot king, cursed, a devotee of the heady
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she's an uncut drug find the vein and the pulse chased it and for a minute i was floating dead above myself get out of my heart she won't, she won't get out of my heart she won't, she won't i saw a glimmer in the dark and now i know she won't get out of my heart she won't i'm in your purse pull me out and throw me down stick me to your lip and draw a scarlet 'o' there's a name
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the embossing of a branded bull and i don't want you to get out of my heart she won't, she won't get out of my heart she won't, she won't i saw a glimmer in the dark and now i know she won't get out of my heart she won't get out of my heart she won't, she won't get out of my heart
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and there's a heavenly scar that lets me know she won't get out of my heart she won't ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: their album, "painting of a panic attack" is out april 8! frightened rabbit, everybody!
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>> stephen: now stick around for james corden, everybody. good night! ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by cbs


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