tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC February 10, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EST
my: i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for watching. thanks for coming. it's wonderful to have you -- for those of you who go to church today is ash wednesday. anyone have ash on their foreheads? do we have an audience entirely made up of heathens?s the official beginning of lent. i've noticed a lot of people use lent as an excuse to diet. they give up things like chocolate or carbs for 40 days. claim it's for religious pretty sure jesus didn't die to get you ready for bikini season. this year i decided for lent i'm going to give up watching football. it's going to be a long six el like -- as i'm sure you know there was a primary election last night. last night half the state of new hampshire declared officially
they weren't joking. donald trump and bernie sanders won their respective party primaries. it was a great nightzy hair. there were some surprises. on the republican side, governor john kasich came out of nowhere to finish second despite theone has any idea who he is. according to the exit polls, trump and sanders were the number one choice among white voters and since that's the onlyhey have in new hampshire, it worked out well. ted cruz, who won the iowa caucus, finished third. jeb bush was foe in fifth. chris christie came in seventh. carly fiorina finished seventh. feeiorinapped out of the race. carly fiorina needed most of time to chase the 101 dalmatians. christie is back home in new not want to be the family-sized variety pack of klondike bars hiding in his
[ cheers and applause ] here's a map of the election results from last night. you see trump won the areas in red. kasich is the blue. cruz is that little yellow jeb bush is curled up in the hotel position underneath. jeb spent a lot of money to finish fourth in new hampshire. the bush campaign, i spent $1,200 per vote. the truth is that only worked out to be $6,000. for that much money, every one of his supporters an ipad and a pair of lubitons. he's already pulled out all the stops. the only thing left to do now is stop. meanwhile, donald trump right now is on cloud nine, which way, he bought it from the chinese. trump won new hampshire by a
particularly well among voters looking for a candidate who is and among voters who don't at all care what it is, is. this is the scene at trump headquarters last night. >> -- are not getti support they need -- >> zoom in on this guy. watch him go. because he really enjoyed himself. i don't know if they bothered [ cheers and applause ] that is how you make america great again. everyone in america gets two beers each. one. watch this one. >> it also had the function of bringing in a lot of voters fromachusetts, iowa, even connecticut, the crowds were huge. wash that down. i think there's a guy walking around with an extra beer.
trumpville was ebullient. when he gets on stage he insults people. last night he was so happy he had a thesaurus full of nice >> this is something very special. to the most imaginative -- incredible job, very special -- we have very talented people -- they special, special people. successful. so good and so fast and so strong, so big, so strong, so powerful. the finest, great, fantastic, beautiful, really great, terrific. strong, incredible, fantastic. so beautiful. >> jimmy: look at that.rew three sides that day. meanwhile, over on the democrat side, bernie sanders beat hillary clinton 60-38.t graciously. she congratulated senator sanders, vowed to fight harder, then strangled an unfortunate intern who got a little bit too close to her when the results came in.e his
enthusiastic victory speech. >> the government belongs to all of the people and not just a handful ofn contributors and their super pacs. [ cheers and applause ] >> feel the bern! >> jimmy: bernie sanders becomes the first man of both jewish and muppet descent to win a midge primary for a party. tnt's nba coverage, gregg popovich, who is simultaneously the best and worst interview in all of sports, gave what might be reaction yet. >> pop, your impresses of the first quarter? >> we're behind and they're ahead. >> why is more than we did and we were pretty crappy on defense. it's been fun.
>> who trump.eers and applause ] >> jimmy: can you guess the final answer to the question? this is college basketball last night between kentucky and georgia. in the year 2016 you must never trust a fan in a fedora. >> jimmy: not one person tried to help but tr phones. we have a very good show for you tonight. from "the brothers grimesby"hen is here with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] sasha has played a number of
allie g., he was through the whole thing. he has something very special for us tonight. also a talented young actress and singer zendaya is with us.lause ] music from the band called mana, a hugely popular -- [ cheers and applause ] -- band in mexico. star on the hollywood walk of fame. guillermo, you're excited about this. >> guillermo: yeah, i know mana. >> jimmy: a fan. song of mana? >> guillermo: riando soul. >> jimmy: one of my favorites oy i didn't have big dreams. i never dreamed i'd be a baseball player or president or anything. i deeped one day i would get to hear the band mana sing the song." remember that from "sellsmy street" and "the muppets"?
>> jimmy: much ana, everybody! be right back with sacha baron cohen.pplause ] piano music.ally made it, dad. you have to experience this city. that's what you always say. you were right about the food. hi john. hey kevin. an astronaut. one more. it's beautiful, isn't it? may gnaw man gnaw done! book priceless experiences around the globe with... ...your world mastercard.
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>> jimmy: welcome back to the show.n cohen, zen day that, music from mana is on the way. cleto brought his big saxophone out, you know things are getting real around here. new hampshire primary was yesterday. voters turned out in record numbers in new hampshire to cast their votes most hi for bernie sanders and donald trump. every news organization in the country was there. they do theseh the people as they come out of their polling place. so we thought it would be fun to
we sent a camera crew to a realion in new hampshire to have fun with the folks who agreed to stop and chat with us. the result is our inaugural edition of "exit troll."ote today? >> yes. >> were you concerned at all about the reports this morning that hillary clinton tried to cut bernie sanders' brake line? >> no, because i think the media is trying to make hillary bad and they'll day and do whatever it takes to make her look bad. >> what did you think about hillary's announcement she'll make bill her running mate if she gets the hat's fine with me, that's what she wants to do. he's had a lot of experience, been there before, it would be a great help for her as well. >> what was your reaction to she plans to put sean penn on the supreme court? >> i think it was ridiculous. >> what do you find ridiculous about it? >> sean penn is not qualifiedupreme court. >> what was your reaction when
>> the same as it's always been, she's disgusting. >> what did you think when you he's a democrat when it comes down to it? >> i think that's probably the first honest thing he's said. >> if you were 60% less likely to vote which you be 40% more likely to support? >> chris christie. >> okay. were you surprised whens' admission he tried marijuana when he was a kid in the 1920s? >> in the '20s? i'm surprised. my grandfather was from the '20s. the '60s i'd have said, okay. >> do you believe him when he says if he could go back he never would have bought that hashish from the traveling hink so. most people who have been involved with marijuana thought it was a mistake. >> you've seen the photographs from the diner yesterday.d ed leaned over and stole pancakes from an old woman's plate. what were your feelings when you saw those images?
over and take food off an old plate she can kiss her social security good-bye. as she's willing to do that to an elderly lady, then the youth needs to na this morning was seen paying homeless people to vote for her. what was your reaction to that news and are you one of these homeless people? >> i'm not one of the homeless but, i mean -- to pay somebody to vote? i don't think that's -- that's fair. >> have you ever been homeless? >> i have not, no. >> a lot of people are hillary clinton of leaning too heavily on her gender after her comment, "i'm freezing my tits off." >> she said that? >> yeah. go pack to arkansas and climb back into the hole she came out of. >> were you offended by donald he
lake pontchartrain issock? >> this is the granite home we love, that's disgusting. >> would it be disgusting -- >> on his part because there's no piss in the lake. >> how did youp bible, the bible with the donald trump face on the cover? >> people want religion. there's only one god, it ain't trump. i guarantee youu think the fact that jeb bush is offering free back massages to people who will vote for him is crossing a line? is that too much lex nears? >> oh my gosh.true. >> well, i mean, none of this is true. >> yeah. >> like i'm lying about the whole thing. >> yeah, i know. >> california. we have a fun show. music from mana, convenienta is here, and sacha baron cohen. stick around! [ cheers and applause ]
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guadalajara. their album is called "cama incendiada" which, in english nk vodka and smoke in bed. stage! [ cheers and applause ] good job. >> jimmy: tomorrow night on the show, "scandal" is back and tony goldwyn will be here. from "pardon the interruption" we'll have music from alessia cara. please join us then. our first guest tonight is an oscar and emmy-nominated man of u know him as borat, bruno, ali g and now, a nobby. his new movie, "the brothers grimsby" opens in theaters march 11th. please welcome n.
>> jimmy: you look so handsome and normal. which is unusual. >> it is. thank you very much. are you coming on to me? i shouldimmy: translate it however you will. but you do not typically appear on television as yourself. it's a rarity, is that correct? >> that's true.ll soon find out why. no, i think i've been on about twice, think, overall. >> jimmy: you were on our show once many years ago promoting ali g.id borat here. is it a weird thing if i refer to your characters with you in the room? do we predebd don't know who you're talking about. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. okay, we'll just stick with -- >> no i heard he came on here, i hearid come. >> that's not me. >> jimmy: he came on to me in a way. >> i believe that he kissed youre did.
taste nice. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: no guy's that to me. >> they've never said it tastes nice? that's how they get on the show, isn't it? [ audience groaning ] >> i on relax. >> jimmy: he's talking about you, guillermo. >> guillermo: no, no. >> jimmy: this movie "the brothers grimsby" is your first action comedy. >> jimmy: although technically there's always a lot of action in your comedyes. action. usually the people trying to kill you are really trying to kill >> jimmy: because you're doing crazy things to them. >> yes, yes. that's the slight downside with doing the kind of reality-based is it a downside or is it kind of thrilling? >> it's usually not very pleasant, actually. i don't know if you've ever had
chase you down the street while you're wearing a kind of camp hassidic outfit. it's not always that pleasant. >> jimmy: i've never been chased by ve been chased by "star wars" fans. >> fair enough. >> the lightsabers and everything. >> we had one time i did a movie called "bruno." >> jimmy: yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> i was gay austrian fashionista. and it was a romantic comedy. the normal boy meets girl, boy falls out with girl, boyith girl, except it was a boy and boy kind of romantic comedy. >> jimmy: right. >> at the end, the boy ends up with the girl in a baseball game and everyone put up on the jumbotron? we thought i should end up with my boyfriend in arkansas.
would start making out.uld be happy. >> jimmy: that was the idea, huh? [ laughter ] >> that was the theoretical idea. the problem yous can't actually cross a riot. and the idea of the movie actually to end it with inciting a riot in arkansas while me and my costar made out on stage. >> jimmy: so that's the last line of the script? >> yes. >> jimmy: "riot ensues, we make out." >> exactly. so i have a lawyer, actually, who moved to sri lanka. and he has about 15ith him who are the experts in constitutional law and they'll go, you know, in versus arkansas 1964 there was clearly this -- and they'll reference every single -- >> jimmy: they're in sri lanka, they know about american law? >> yes, they've just very 's why we use them. >> jimmy: i see.
>> in case you think that's an offensive accent, it is the one i used for king julian in "madagascar."hat lawyer. [ cheers and applause ] so we're told by lawyers, whatever you do,nge anyone to a fight. so i'm in this cage. and my boyfriend comes into and there are 2,000 locals from texarkana. i don't know if you know texarkana. >> jimmy: i do, yeah. >> they're interesting locals. a few hundredbeen released from jail. nice swastikas on their head. that kind of friendly little symbol. >> jimmy: faactly fans. and i have the fight with this boyfriend character in the movie. and they start booing me. and i panic. i panic i often do not
and so i said, okay, who of youi gonna beat you up! thinking i'm in a cage and no one's ever going to get into the cage and there are all these -- we have 15as state police there as well. who made it very clear that if we contra viened any of the 12 statutes of indecency that i'd be arrested by them. iteing arrested or just being kicked to death, essentially. and, you know, on the phones, my lawyers, "you must do, you can touch the nipple." can i place a hand on the buttocks? yes, but do not let the hand go within three rectum. you know. so i'm there making out with this guy. i'm making out with this guy and my costar tries to put his hand in my rectum. pulling it back. then somehow one of the guys in
you'd refer manner. managed to saw through some of the metallic stakes that were used to hold down the chairs.owing in metallic chairs. anyway, i'm kissing the boy. this is the end the movie. this is gold. i have to finish the movie. i'm lying there kissing this guy.al chairs start landing. so i think, if i lie on my back i can actually just dodge the chairs. anyway. meanwhile i hear,go, go! our security guards said get out of there. >> jimmy: you give 130% for these films. >> i have probably a mental >> jimmy: when we come back we're going to talk about your new movie in which you are not killed, correct? >> i nd applause ] >> jimmy: unfortunately i want to say something -- i do have a little -- we were going to show a clip. you are unable to show the clip.
just -- >> jimmy: our standard practice got passed by mpaa -- >> they wanted to give us nc-17, we did a bit of to and fro -- it's now an r-rated clip. >> jimmy: standard practices here atbc, which isour network censor, said we cannot run the clip. >>o get in between you and standards and practices. but i just think you should show us the clip! >> jimmy: well -- >> show us the clip! show us the clip! all right, we'll figure something out when we come back. lanka? you call the guy in sri lanka. i'll talk to my guys.n here's. [ cheers and applause ] disease is tough, but i've managed. my symptoms was all i was doing. and when i finally told
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hmmm...y fruits nuts and spices. this makes the rest of my life feel very complicated. la rabar. food made from food. folks, you can't make this stuff up. four bandits chose a prius as their getaway car. bravo-niner, in pursuit of a toyota prius. over. how hard is it to catch a prius? over.tually pretty fast. over. very funny. oh look, a farmer's market.some flowers for the car. yeah!
[ cheers and applause ] the home viewers can watch the studio audience watch the clip. >> wait a minute, you're saying i've come on this show for the first time in 12 years, and young to show the audience watching my clip but the people at home will not be able to watch the clip? >> jimmy: exactly. exactly. >> okay.okay? >> it's not okay. but i have no other option. >> jimmy: you don't have an option. i've been instructed to warn our i know you think we're kidding but we're not. that the scenes you're about to see are very graphic,offensive. if you want to leave right now, you have the option of doing that. if you want to leave during the clip, you may do that as well. >> so should i explain what the t? >> jimmy: yes. >> so basically -- >> maybe i'll go in the audience so i can watch while you explain
[ cheers and applause ] >> all right, then.xcuse us, thank you, thank you. excuse us. all right. >> okay, so -- this is a clip from " there is a -- i've taken over your job. okay. so it's basically a james bond-type. i play his brother who's kind of a football hooligan. we end up onwe were in south africa in this bit. and -- something bad has happened.something worse is about to happen. please enjoy watching them watch
[ cheers and applause ]very sorry, i'm very sorry. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well done. that's one of the craziest things i've ever seen in my life. >> well, at some point i will show you the eight-minute cut before the mpaa got r they cut, they didn't cut enough. that was completely insane. the movie is called "the brothers grimsby." it opens in theaters march 11thsha cha baron cohen, everyone.
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every wish is our command when we find ourselves in neverland n appropriate clip to show people. can we say hello to zendaya! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: did you see any of sacha's clip? >> i did not, i'm a littlection. >> jimmy: you should be afraid. >> okay. >> jimmy: what's the first r-rated movie you saw, do you remember? >> yes, i remember it was by accident. well, technically -- the title speaks for itself.gelow: european gigolo." >> jimmy: that was the first one? >> that was the first one, i went with my dad and my mom freaked out when she found out.
know what i mean, it was daddy/daughter date, it was an accident, it happened. >> jimmy: what does that mean an accident? >> i don't think she knew how bad it was going to 'm saying? >> jimmy: i see. how old were you? >> i don't know. too young to watch it. >> jimmy: i see. >> i didn't really get all the humor and everything like that. but i think -- i have a cool re like, if you want to see something, it's r-rated, it scares you, whatever, it's your fault, you wanted to see ng? >> jimmy: you still live with your parents? >> absolutely. >> jimmy: you're not dying to move out? >> no, most teenagers, they're like, i'm gone. for me, honestly, i free trips everywhere. they drive me places. i get to sleep. as much as possible. what else? i mean --our laundry? >> no. >> jimmy: they do not? >> they don't do my laundry. but it's just nice to have them around. you feel protected. you feel safe.ho can wake me
>> jimmy: sounds like you're never moving out. >> never. it's full service. >> jimmy: they drive you places,ver's license? >> no. since the last time i saw you i have gotten a driver's license. >> jimmy: okay. [ cheers and applause ]>> jimmy: why are they driving you still? do you not have a car? >> i have a car as well. >> jimmy: okay. >> because i like to sleep in the car.riving? >> not while i'm driving. i like to sleep. so i let them drive so that i can sheep. >> jimmy: these are not parents, these are yourhave a lot of followers on twitter. you have like 6 million followers on twitter. 20 million followers on instagram. >> yeah a lot. but you have -- i know that you've got your fan group, your fan club i guess they call it. >> yeah. is something that you're trying to change, correct? >> yeah, here's the thing.
>> jimmy: it was trendy, now it's not. >> it's not the cool thing to do, right? >> jimmy: never really was, never really was. >> you know, so we're in a phase of o figure out what our new name is. some of them want deholics. i can't do that. i can' of anything. no on that one. zoldiers. z-force is one of them. >> jimmy: sounds like medication, zoldiers.octor about zoldiers. that. >> jimmy: i thought of a few of >> oh, okay. >> jimmy: this is what i was working on this z-pack? think about it. >> it would be healthy. >> jimmy: it's good, antibiotic, it's nice. >> it's my: the zen-dayquils could be something. the zen-day laborers? the zen-detta.
>> it's interesting.zen-dateline nbc. >> oh, i like it. >> jimmy: you like that one? >> i like it. >> jimmy: i like z-pack. >> i like it too. >> jimmy: they decide? >> it's them. once this goes out i'll let them decide. >> jimmy: good, maybe you can do a poll. >> yeah we can do some type of voting sy people are going to love to be part of the z-pack. >> is that what you're pitching here? that's your favorite? >> jimmy: yeah. >> all right. >> jimmy: well -- >> you heard it here: you're probably not going with zen-dayquils so second to that is z-pack. you are part of the "finding neverland," which is -- youhe album. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's a show, a broadway show as well. in your video, bryan cranston >> so cool. >> jimmy: which is pretty great. >> so cool. he's literally he showed up to the video with a script of the beginning and end he prepared. hey, i want to pitch this to you. i'm like, yo, you're want.
>> of course, of course. by him? >> a little bit. of his work. and him of course i was intimidated. not intimidated but inspired by him. we were there so late. 3:00 in the morning. and he stayed there even after because he read his line lines for me on the reverse. that's a real actor right there. >> jimmy: that's a real actor nowhere to go. [ laughter ] he had no plans. >> jimmy: it's a really good music video. bryan cranston and zen day that,and." it's called "neverland" on "finding neverland" the album. tawn for being here. very good to see you. one other quick thing. i bet $1,000 on you tocing with the stars." and you finished second. i did win the money, i lost $1,000. >> about that? >> jimmy: which means you owe me money, young lady.