tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC March 1, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EST
[ cheers and applause ] for coming out. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. on this super tuesday. -- or it almost was today. this year as you know super tuesday, this year only, will be followed by horrified hter ] there was voting today in 13 states with hundreds of delegates at stake. i think this was interesting. jeb bush spent his super tuesday. you know, he's not running now. he spent his super ironing and reironing his tommy bahama shirts. [ laughter ] every cable news channel covered every morsel of everything from today, and the funny thing is the election -- this election is still 250 days away. you'd think the red carpetkz is long.
i mean, it goes on and on and on. donald trump has been -- he's beenfailing to immediately condemn an endorsement from former ku klux klan leader david duke. trump blamed his hesitation on a bad earpiece. or maybe he said ot sure. [ laughter ] something was bad. he said he couldn't clearly hear what jake tapper of cnn was asking him. so this morning george asked very plainly a question that it is crazy he even had to ask. >> so are you prepared right now to make a clear and unequivocal statement renouncing the support of all white >> of course i am. of course i am. i mean, there's nobody that's done so much for equality as i have. florida. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's the example. maralag. so a private o everybody as long as you can afford the dues, which are $100,000 a year. [ laughter ]
open to almost nobody. he actually said the words, done so much for equality as i have." i mean, there's got to be one person. right? rosa parks maybe off the top of my -- nelsonalthough none of those people opened mara lago to everybody. [ laughter ] and then he went ahead and won super tuesday. not all the polls are closed but so far as i walkedbernie sanders won his home state of vermont, clinton and trump won everything else. this primary campaign so far has been very entertaining but also very disturbing, especially forblicans. senator john mccain, who as you may recall ran for president in 2008, was on "the o'reilly factor" last night where he openly state of discourse among his party's candidates. >> putin is dismembering ukraine. the middle east is in chaos thanks to this feckless foreignled leadership of barack obama. and what are we talking about?
people's ears and throwing waterking about the size of people's hands. that's not -- the american people deserve a lot better. >> you'd think -- because i don't think we do. i feel like we might be getting exactly what we deserve. even if or when trump does get the nomination he's going to have his work cut out for him.ew cnn poll, both hillary clinton and bernie sanders would beat him in a head-to-head match-up if it happened today. the poll has hillary winning 52% to 44% and sanders winning 55% to trump still has a strong lead among registered voters who collect pocket knives. [ laughter ] ight released the last batch of those e-mails from hillary clinton's private e-mail server when state. about 3,900 e-mails were made public np one of them she recounted what she k5u8d the
woman who shouted at her husbandpublic event that her father circumcised bin laden. another e-mail, hillary snapped at an aide for getting the wrong. the aide, a woman named monica hanley, corrected her error. she wrote it's rafik not rasik. but it was too late. hillary wrote back, that's too bad, since i use the the wrongt only be given correct information. if you're hillary clinton's aide and your name is monica, you right? [ cheers and applause ]ten months and like 52,000 e-mails later the only thing we end up learning from all these e-mails we looked at is that hillary clinton is much more borirked at sony.u know the price of stamps is about to go down? for the first time since 1919 the stamp is going from 49 cents to 47 cents.
invested all my savings in those damn forever sta price is going down. the post office begged congress tos. they estimate, the post office says, the two-cent decrease will cost them $2 billion a year, and they're not in such great shape in the first place. but congress is insisting on cutting that price by two cents. it's weird how congress loves the free market so much except foe're going to keep communist. [ laughter ] i know the lines are long, but let's not mess with it. st. patrick's day is coming up. and there is a -- there's a st. patrick's day themed cookie cutter that's been attracting a lot of attention because of its unique yet familiar shape. now, this is it. [ laughter ] it is available for $14.79. it's the somewhere over the rainbow pot of gold st. patrick's day cookie cutter.
for free if you have prime membership. these are the cookies that it 's wishing us a happy st. patrick's day or a sad one, but -- [ laughter ] how did that make it past the initial planning phase?ed and went hey, what's going on with these? [ laughter ] people love it, though. it has four stars on amazon. but this is a one-star review. and it's my favorite. it's from subaru man, who the church social.applause ] i can't wait to see subaru man versus batmaru man. kennedy, the great actor, passed away on sunday. he was an oscar winner who died on oscar sunday. tribute. career.
he was in "airport," "naked gun" movies. he was a great actor, but this is how cnn chose to remember him. "george kennedy, beefy character 91." [ laughter ] hollywood is tough. you know, even in death they expect you to be thin. [ laught. dogs -- you can train dogs to do a lot of things, but this is something i've not seen before. in brazil they're using dogs at tennis>> four shelter dogs rescued from slums and abandoned lots around paolo were trained as ball dogs for the brazil open tournament. their job, to retrieve balls that went out of bounds. even if he does get the ball slobbery serve. this is something i'm probably overly excited about but last we app called masquerade. it's msqrd. my kid showed it to me. what it does is it lets you -- let me try to do this properly.
like -- kind of like leonardo -- that's a leonardo dicaprio. i should just stay like this.e's snoop dogg. i should stay like this. i wonder if i can get in trouble for doingthere's -- you know, all sorts of faces. the joker. and then -- and they made one of me. so this is me now with my own head. [ cheers and applause ]then there's a monkey. not only making one of me but even better, they made one of guillermo too. come here, nd. [ cheers and applause ] stand on this side. we'll do this. okay. so now there's guillermo as me. ] and now i'm going to move my head in and i'm guillermo.
say and then i'll say something you would say. >> i'm sorry, matt damon, we apologize. we ran out of time. ] >> jimmy: it's okay. [ laughter ] so thank you, masquerade guys, for doing that. we appreciate it. i figured we'd wind up on fat booth. so i'm very we have to take a break. when we come back, the l.a. clippers have a new mascot and we have a special super tuesday edition of liewitness news that will dishearten
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way. but first the clippers last night unveiled a new mascot. they haven't had a mascot since 1985. they had a character named sam dunk, which -- that's sam ughter ] just an old white guy in tight pants. looks like one of the old guys on the muppets. but sam was retired when the team moved to l.a., i guess. and nowter to entertain the kiddies. that's it. >> come on, clippermy: that's chuck the california condor. for real. what is going on here? indeed. and just like that, the lakers are back on top.use ] let's look at chuck.
sit around and designe could put a big blue nose [ laughter ] good choice with the name, too.th chuck. you won't have any problems there. personally, i think this should mascot. everyone loved her.? okay. [ laughter ] back to politics. today as you know is super tuesday. and there's always pressure to seem like you're participating when it comes to politics. whether you are or not. so this afternoon we went out on the street here in hollywood to ask people if they voted today.hile there were contests in 13 states today california wasn't one of them. california primary doesn't happen until june. so there's no way thate cast a ballot in person. but did that stop them from claiming they did? let's find out. in this super tuesday edition of "lie witness news." huge day in california.
who did you vote for this morning? >> hillary clinton. place? >> pretty crazy. pretty crazy. but yeah, about it. so -- >> super tuesday today. >> oh, yes. i voted for trump. >> this morning here in yes. >> what was your polling place like? who was there? >> oh, yeah. it was at the city hall in norwalk, down in norwalk, and i was just voting right there. a lot of people. you know, it was kind of packed.t. nice little turnout. >> huge morning in california. it's super tuesday. morning? >> hillary. >> and what was your polling place like? was it crowded?? yeah. >> how were the lines at your polling place this morning when you voted? >> the lines definitely were long. it was a lot of mixed supporters. definitely there for bernie. for -- some people for trump. but i definitely saw a lot of out-turn for 4i8ry. >> big morning in california. super tuesday.e for? >> oh, bernie sanders all the way.
a democrat out of the green party in order for me to get him in. >> how was your polling place this morning when you voted? >> oh, it wasn't too bad. buzz, the excitement. there was -- there's actually a lot of people out voting, which i wanted to see. >> did you vote this morning on super tuesday? >> i did. >> who did you voteonald trump. >> what was that experience like for you voting this morning? >> it was pretty smooth, yeah. >> did you have to pay a little bit? they were charging $5 at the a little bit. >> what were you charged, 5 or 10? >> 10. >> 10, wow. >> big morning in los angeles. who did you vote for atg place? how was the polling place? >> it was good. you know, full of people. just rocking it out, hanging out. you know, meeting and greeting. and of course not saying who we were going to vote for.e giving out a little swag this year at polling places. what did you get? >> i got a great coffee mug that pretty much said thanks forday. >> were you excited they were giving out cookies and juice this year at the polling place? >> yes. juicy would take.
>> what flavors did you see?chocolate chip, i believe. >> did you like that new hologram voting system? >> it's interesting. but i was can go wrong when you're introducing systems like that. so i'm always kind of like skeptical when it comes to some of that. i'm just an old think about the new voting system this year, where you could vote by blinking your eyes? >> yeah. i don't -- i wasn't too fond of it. i felt like, you know, manipulated. i mean, who really knows how that works and who's in charge and how the votes get tallied? but i mean, whatever. it's the age of technology, think donald trump is an honest guy who can get the job done? >> i think he could. i think he has good views on what his plans are. guy? >> i'm pretty honest. >> would you like an "i voted" sticker? >> yeah, i would. >> thank you. ]
>> did you get an "i voted" sticker? >> i did not. they ran out. >> would you like one now? >> i would love one. >> great. >> did you vote super tuesday? >> i did. >> and what was the polling place like? was it busy? >> no, it was kind of normal. i was surprised. >> what surprised you most about voting this he way people were just talking about some of the candidates and stuff. >> who did you vote for this morning? >> i'm going to be honest.lly honest? >> yeah. >> donald. >> okay. thank you so much for your honesty. >> of course. of course. [ cheers and applause ] had i voted tattooed on his body. we have a great show. music from miike snow. from "the walking dead" ross marquand is here. and we'll be forte. so stick around.
icky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by chevrolet. find new roads. rotisserie-style chicken raised without antibiotics? it's what we do. that same chicken pulled by hand? it's what we do. freshly-baked bread and crisp veggies? it's what we've always done.tisserie-style chicken sandwich from subway. fresh is what we do. the exact moment you know you love a home,o get
it's called " three." miike snow from the samsung stage tonight.nd applause ] tomorrow night morgan freeman will be with us, martha plimpton will be with us, and we'll have music from charles kelley. and on friday, for those who encore airing of our " live after the oscars" special, with ben affleck, chris rock, tracy morgan, nathan lane, matthew broderick, henry cavill, jesse eisenberg, n, alicia vikander, and sadly, matt damon slithers his way in here. [ cheers and applause ] that will be aired again on friday night at. our first guest tonight is an emmy-nominated actor and writer with one of the funniest shows on tv. through a vast and underpopulated nation in " the last man on earth," it airs sunday nights on fox.
lause ] what a beautiful -- you brought some baked goods. where did you get these? [ laughter ]ngry, and so i took matters -- >> jimmy: i didn't know we had an oven back there. isn't that unbelievable. would you like one? >> i'd love one. >> jimmy: where do you --m the top? [ laughter ] i'm going to start from the bottom. mm. actually, not very good.k you so much. if you want to throw the rest of that there, we'll finish those privately later. [ laughter ] i'm glad to see you. and i'm going to say, i was a little bit worried about you pictures of you -- well, i have the picture that i saw of you that got me concerned at the critics' choice awards, which was in laughter ]
immediately that this was not a fake. this is not a skinhead wig or anything like that. >> no., huh? >> yes. unfortunately, that is a real thing that i -- yes. >> jimmy: that you did. >> yeah. >> jimmy: here's another you with that handsome couple.] you see you treated jen to the hairy i'd and justin got the bald side. in a way it's a half jesus.ughter ] lex luthor. jesus. [ laughter ] this is -- i hope for the show you did this? >> it is absolutely for the show.eally say why we're doing it for the show, but it figures in there somewhere. it ruin -- jason sudeikis.
and he has seen me in full beard. he's seen me like this. and he saw i really messed him up. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how long -- >> it will take some good parenting. >> jimmy: how long did you have that? >> about four weeks. >> jimmy: and what is it like when you're walkingle see you like this? >> it's not good. [ laughter ] i mean, people treated mei had the big beard. but you know, from certain angles you can't even tell that anything's going on. so if people were looking -- this was the hairy side. if people were looking atght on over here it just looks like a normal ugly beard. but then if i would turn at all this way, it's just like thisg at you. [ laughter ] it was a very interesting adventure for about a month. >> jimmy: i would imagine driving would be weird. >> as able to avoid cops. >> jimmy: did you have to go to anything important and be like
>> this was -- theng was i had to go to my buddy's dad's memorial. it's not a very respectful look. but there's nothing i could do. they were very nice to me. [ laughter ]ed to stay in the back behind some flowers. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, it was nice of you to go in that condition. >> yet's pretty crazy. by the way, i just want to say, i saw the first episode of the show this year. and you're not in it, but it's fantastic. thank you. >> jimmy: you are the last man on earth. you're not even in that show. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but it's so funny. >> thanks very much. >> jimmy: i know it's your show. for it. >> no, this one we handed the reins over to jason sudeikis. >> jimmy: he did a great job. >> he's am for people to see it. he's -- i don't want to say anything more about it.
are you a little bit neurotic?l? >> yeah. [ laughter ] for the most part. i've got problems. >> jimmy: how does that manifest itself?e problems. >> i have pretty -- i don't know. i wouldn't say like severe ocd don't know. it's like a medium ocd 's like a lot of checking faucets and stoves and stuff. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> but completing tasks and -- you repeat things do you count -- orders. i mean, now it's sounding super hat picture it's like painting this very, very bad -- i'm a good guy. [ laughter ] you know, i'm normal in some that's -- >> jimmy: well, everybody's normal in some ways. >> you edit stuff out of the show, right? you don't keep everything. >> jimmy: no, this will all be
>> oh, great. >> jimmy: we're learning about you. like are you hard to live with? are you -- me. so it's -- [ applause ] >> jimmy: is that why nobody lives with you? that -- figured out the answer to that question. >> jimmy: do you want to lay down on the couch and we can talk -- i'll talk to your hairy side, and then i'll talk to your bald side, and we can come up with together. >> i'm a nice person. i'll tell you, i'm a good person. >> jimmy: you seem like a nice person. >> and not mixed up in any way. and that was an act tell you guys that i'm messed up. i'm doing great. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. we're going to -- why don't we take a break, and we'll- >> can i get some water? >> jimmy: we'll get you some water in a very clean glass, and we'll be right back with will forte after this.
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the break. one thing we were talking about is how great your show is. but then the last line before the music came back, we cameal, he said, "i haven't watched any of the bachelor this year." >> i've been super busy. and last time he was here henging farmer chris out. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it was a very exciting thing. >> jimmy: the bachelor farmer, chris. he would live with youbody. [ laughter ] >> you know, i'm going to keep going on my own path and see what happens. but i intend to watch everything. i've got them all on tivo ready>> jimmy: so on this show if you have n't seen it you're not technically the last man on earth but we think you are at the beginning when the series starts but you go all over thet live in whatever house you feel like living in. part of the show takes place in malibu. but you shoot that -- do you shoot in malibu? >> we shoot -- i mean, there are some beach in malibu, but the -- all the -- the house, which is supposedly
our studio is in jimmy: for those who don't know, people who live in l.a. know chatsworth. >> yes. >> jimmy: just give a little bit of a description of -- >> people know it. they just don't know they know or porn hub. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's number one. >> yeah. we are two blocks from a dildo pipe dreams. >> jimmy: made in the usa. >> yeah. the other side of it is basically -- the other side of it is the porter ranch methane leak.e've really got it coming from both sides. >> jimmy: it's a beautiful part of the country. it really is. >> ery nice parts there. you get up in the hills and you guys, go to chatsworth. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: are you worried about being allowed back into hat's that? >> jimmy: pipe dreams is the place? oh, i want to ask you about -- speaking of photographs. not a great photo.
>> i actually went to a u2 concert a long time ago with jason sudeikis, andhe -- i can't remember which of us. somehow somebody knew somebody who was up in a box with president clinton. they offered to introduce you. so we said, yeah. we would love that. so jason and i went up there. we met him very briefly. and then somehow got invited post-dinner where we like got into the clinton motorcade. we were not in the car with him. we were like two -- several cars away from him.ive you a ride? >> he did. indirectly give us a ride. >> jimmy: oh, you jumped in one -- i see. into their cars. >> anyway, things got very special. because we get to which turned out to be more of kind of like a small dinner party. like there are maybe like 40 people. i think sean penn was there and like u2 showed up. been there.
but when we get to the actual place, i had to pee. so i president clinton had to pee at the same time. so like he walks in front -- like in front of me. and i'm right behind him. i kind of end up at -- there's one urinal, and me and this other guy are waiting behind. we both kind of tied for when we got there. [ laughter ] so president clinton is peeing. and like there's this moment where me and this other guy look at each other like, who gets the honors? [ laughter ] and this other guy, the mosteat ever, he just nodded at me. like go for it. >> jimmy: wow. >> so i got to pee after the president. >> jimmy: rs and applause ] if you were a dog, that would be an amazing story. >> the only time ever that i've stepped up to a urinal and taken
>> jimmy: so you're not that ocd. >> i promised myself i wouldn't get political tonight. i'm sorry.my: will forte, everybody. "the last man on earth" sunday nights at 9:30 on fox. we'll be right back with ross marquand. [ cheers and applause ] re walking, rolling and rocking it feels so sweet when we rock that beat! feels like i'm dreaming, but i'm not sleeping
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: still to come, music from miike snow. our next guest is a very talented actoropular shows in all the world. he plays aaron on " the walking dead," which airs sunday nights on amc. please welcome ross marquand. use ] n i offer you a cookie? >> it looks very nice. but i think i'm all right. >> jimmy: how are you doing? i heard this is your first talk show. >> it is. well, i did do a talk show recently. i was on [ speaking spanish ] and i think guillermo was on there too.ne with the clown?
>> jimmy: how did you wind up on that? >> you know. you know the right people. >> jimmy: do you hablo aking spanish ]. >> jimmy: sounded pretty good. >> mas o we've had quite a few cast members from "the walking dead" on the show. you look very nice. in a suit and not covered with filth and blood. >> it's a funny thing. we do tend to find ourselves in situations absolutely drenched in the stuff. so. >> jimmy: and off the set as well i imagine because you go home and you can't really wash that. and what's the point of washing it off? you have to do it again the nextue. actually, we're doing the mid-season premiere over my birthday over the summer and i actually had my buddy's wedding to shooting all night long for two nights in a row, and right around 7:00 in the morning i looked at the clock and i'm like oh, my god, i have an 8:15 flight andnched in this stuff, i don't know if i'm going to make the flight.
director looked at us greg nicotero and he said go. so i ran to the van, tore offs i could and drove in my street clothes up to the airport still just covered in blood. right? hrough tsa surprisingly easy, which i found a little disturbing. [ laughter ] that was kind of odd. >> jimmy: nobody stopped you? >> nobody stopped me at tsa. they were like yep,s out. that's fine. go ahead. [ laughter ] but when i got to the gate they were shutting the gate. and i said oh, no, no, no, please, you've got to let me on the flight. it's my buddy's incomprehensible. i'd been up for days. i said you've got throat me flight if i miss the flight i'm going to miss my bud yis wedding please let me on the flight. and they said sir, are you okay? are you all right? and i said my blood. whoa! that came out wrong. it's -- and finally she said i'm going to have to call my supervisor. sought comes from the other end of the terminal five minutes. and i'm just praying, you just closed the door. let me on the flight. she comes over and says sir, are you okay? yeah. it's not mye blood.
is it okay if i get on the flight? she's like okay, what show are you on? "the walking dead." oh. do you mind if we do a selfie?and i'm like, if i take the selfie lu will you let me on the flight? she's like, yes. >> jimmy: there you go. >> the selfie paid off. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i will tell you that i saw you -- you made an online video. what did you make that online video for? >> for>> jimmy: for "vanity fair." and it's so unbelievably good. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you do all these different impersonations. more than any -- i think anyone i've ever seen do. andent. and i was thinking it would be fun he academy awards were sunday night. i'll give you a name and you give a quick acceptance speech for each person it's a challenge. but you feel up to it? >> sure. >> jimmy: i don't want to put
[ cheers and applause ] over there. we have a list. congratulations, ross. the mcconaughey. >> well, i tell you what. i mean, this is just -- this is something else. this is stellar. this is,tellar. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: john c. reilly. >> oh, john c. reilly.this is -- this is -- this is kind of special. i mean, this is like really extra special. i mean, this is like super duper extra sprs and applause ] >> jimmy: nobody does that one. antonio banderas. >> okay. pussof love. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this is a classic.
christopher walken. >> oh, christopherr. you're beautiful. the way you glisten makes me aroused. applause ] >> jimmy: here's a guy who does a lot of impressions himself. kevin spacey. >> oh, kevin spacey. sure. sure. i wish i could say that i was surprised by this i mean, who are you going to choose? matt damon? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: do you do any of >> matt damon, i don't do his voice but i do like a micro impression. he's just always trying to restrain a smile it seems like. he's always -- he's doing the --ke -- [ applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> i love it. it's specifrrible, right? it's terrible. >> he's terrible. he's the worst. [ laughter ]
>> i was like totally in the. [ applause ] i'm sorry. did i win this for best actor or best song? i actually don't know. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right.y. >> okay. pineapples. quinoa. goji berries. floating around in space. >> jimmy: here's a guy who didn't get a chance to give a speech. you can give it for him. sylvester stallone. >> oh, yeah. i mean, i didn't win, you know. really? i thought this was supposed to be thee year. i mean, i got knocked out by mark rylance i? never even heard of the guy. come on. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well done.caine. >> michael caine. oh, sure. where are my notes? oh, dear. i think i must have left them in the rolls-royce. >> jimmy: one more.le. >> christian bale.
that i'd like to thank. first off -- are you starting to play music?eech, mate? are you [ bleep ] joking, mate? are you serious? no, no, no, no. you and me, we're done, mate. absolutely done. i can't believe it. [ cheers and applause ]marquand. watch him on "the walking dead" sunday nights on amc. we'll be right back with miike snow. [ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: the "jimmy kimmel
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[ cheers and applause ] this is a special edition of "nightline." super tuesday. >> tonight, the super tuesday showdown.nd donald trump leading the pack. now on a likely collision course in the november election. >> get them out of here, please. >> but party unite behind their controversial front-runner? or is it a fight all the way to a contested convention? senator bernie sanders on his home turf. >> it is good to be home! >> but is this delegate tsunami keep sanders down? >> if you don'tdonald trump -- >> and can cruz launch an effort to keep trump from the