tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC March 14, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EDT
welcome, welcome. i'm jimmy, the host of the show.g. thank you for coming. thank you for coming, not just coming but thank you for being on time. it's very important.r to spring your clocks forward sunday? how is it that by the way my air bag knows exactly when i'm going to get into an accident, my car can't figure out how to goour for daylight savings time? i hate springing forward. i hate springing forward so much more than i like falling back. i personally am strongly against daylight [ clapping ] thank you, dicky. >> dicky: bless you. >> jimmy: they did a study, there's an increase in fate
probably from looking at your watch, realizing you were supposed to have picked up your kid at preschool an hour ago.ith a clock should have a daylight saving button you'd push. you'd only use it twice a year put that's more than i use the "potato" button on my microwave. loose in this election. tomorrow there are primaries in five states. florida, illinois, missouri, north carolina, and ohio. ohio and florida are the big lorida today, mitt romney hit the campaign trail with governor john kasich who's hoping to beat donald trump in his home state, ohio. romney stumping for kasich in ohio and rubio inwith the idea that he will stop donald trump. he's also got holy cross and iona going into the finals in his ncaa bracket. but he took the stage with air museum that's halfway between akron and canton today. i have to say i love the idea of mitt romney and john kasich teams up. it's like a buddy cop movieth the cop who plays
this is how crazy things are right now. marco rubio, who's still in the race, iso vote for john case nick ohio instead of him. rubio says kasich is the only one who can stop trump in ohio, and he's the only one who can stop trump in florida. trump in texas. then the plan is if they get to the convention, they're going to have dr. ben carson sew all their bodies together tormous super-candidate who just might have enough delegates to win. tomorrow night we'll see how this all plays out. in the a mess on his hands. he has people fired up and not always in a good way. his events have become filled with protesters lately and violence ad to cancel a rally in chicago friday because of security concerns. the secret service had to stop a guy from rushing the stage in ohio over the weekend. in north carolina, an old man protester in the side of the head. now trump apparently has to worry about getting hit with tomatoes. >> let me action plain what happened.
was going up on the stage, i was told by the secret there's a person or two people in the audience that have tomatoes. they are going to throw them at you, we think. if they do throw them, you have to be prepared.n the face with a tomato, let me tell you, somebody with a strongarm at least, let me tell you, it can be very damaging. >> jimmy: yeah, could turn yourf you're not careful. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] can't get hurt by a tomato.et hurt by a tomato with four coats off bronzer on your face. tomatoes are nature's nerf balls, they mean no a seems like he's enjoying this whole thing. he spoke at a fund-raiser in dallas where he took a mom to ruminate about donald trump brand wine.
anybody bought that wine? i want to knowtastes like. i mean, come on. you know that's like some $5 wine. a label on it, they're charging $50. saying that's the greatest wine ever. >> obama's in his "i only have 10 months left so to hell with it" phase. [ cheers and applause ] oscars next year. the big story of the day, bigger than politics, bigger than sports, bigger than anything, was "the bachelor." [ cheers and applause ]the only good thing about daylight saving time is we didn't have to wait another hour to find out who ben chose. it came down to lauren b. and lermo, who did i predict the final one will be? >> guillermo: joyu.
ago i made an, ediction. >> you're agreeing with me, i'm thinking maybe i should have gone with lauren b. well, let's just say these are going to be the final two.ill be the winner. i believe you will date her for a period of four to six months. so i was wrong on the winner but i had the final two,od, considering it was the beginning of the season. and that's why they call me nostradamus, everybody. [ cheers and applause ]in the end ben asked lauren b. to lauren b. my wife and she said yes. they're still this one of the longer-lasting engagements in "bachelor" history. if you watch the show ben had a tough decision. he told both lauren and jojo that he was in love with them. on the same ned out to be a difficult notion for his mother to wrap her head around.
with me with two women. >> yes. so there's still things we have >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. a few small things that need to be seasons, ben's mother "bachelor" history to recognize how ridiculous this show is. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] congratulations to her. so ben was in love with both finalists. so he did what you do in that situation.e proposed to them all. this was probably the most uncomfortable moment of the night, ben let jojo down in the most confusing way possible. >> i don't know if i i found it with you. but -- somebody else more.
[ laughter ] seemed like if this wasn't on camera he'd be engaged to both of them right now, right? so ben is here. lawyer ran b. is here. and tonight we will no, tonight they will be here with us. one of my favorite parts of "the bachelor" is when -- you know when he's just staring into just kind of looking. presumably thinking. well, we went through the whole season of the show and we put this together.
ben! >> hey,my: ben, i'm sorry to looking off in the distance. but yeah, we have to do the rest of the show. so we can't hang on it too long,r enough. >> jimmy: we'll see you, okay. ben will be out here in a moment. thank you, bachelor ben. we have some fun -- break. when we come back, i lend a hand to chris harrison in what might be our most dramatic t. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] an check on them. you can worry about them.ose a car for them.
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maria menounos and music from way. guillermo, show people what you're wearing. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: those are bachelor ben you can actually i would these. we saw a picture of kaley cuoco wearing these and i knew guillermo had to have them. you can wear those to lawsuit tease class. >> guillermo: yeah, sure. >> jimmy: they're form-fitting. >> guillermo: whatever you say. >> jimmy: , if you've ever watched "the bachelor" you're familiar with the way host chris harrison does the announcing. everything is the most dramatic season yet. but for 20 seasons, plus 11 seasons of "the bachelorette" lick he has, it's hard to come up with new twists. this time i decided to pitch in. recording studio where they record this stuff to present chris with new
a little bit. >> coming up dramatic episode in "bachelor" history. will ben propose? if he does, will she say yes? that's all tonight onnal all-new episode of "theimmy: hey. >> what's sflup. >> jimmy: i saw the door open. >> good to see you. >> jimmy: you doing the things with the lines, >> you know how that goes. >> jimmy: doing those awhile now. >> 15 years. >> jimmy: 15 years? >> it's wild, isn't it. >> jimmy: the reason i'm here,t so long, you have to do these things and it gets repetitive. >> a little bit. >> jimmy: i feel like -- i took the liberty s to help you freshen it up. >> some new stuff, all right. >> jimmy: would you mind? >> i'm game to try anything. >> jimmy: here you go, there's your lines. >> okay. >> jimmy: i'll just -- >> fire i'll sit right here. >> okay. season yet. >> jimmy: i figured that way
it can't be the most always. >> every year, right. >> jimmy: seems ridiculous. >> you're right. this season will. >> jimmy: yeah. because it's honesty, you know.ight. >> it's television, though, we're never lost. honesty doesn't sell. >> jimmy: oh, okay. scratch that, we don't have to use that one. >> this is just my opinion, but this is a really cute season. season yet. oh my god. is it cute? >> jimmy: oh, yeah, no. i was thinking, oh my god! is it cute! >> oh my god! >> jimmy: sorry to give you a line. >> gee, cute? omg, this is so cute. >> jimmy: think about it, who wouldn't watch the cutest seasonill watch that. >> i like it. >> jimmy: you have to be a real jerk not to watch the cutest season ever. >> okay. okay -- ready?
dies. extreme. >> jimmy: what if everyone does die? you're going to need it. nt, okay. tonight, ben and the girls solve the mystery of the sunken tugboat. >> jimmy: okay. >> these are the most emotionally damaged women yet! >> jimmy: that's every episode. >> all of them. on this one, all to have sex with chris! that's me! >> jimmy: yeah. i bet some of them do. i mean, probably, right? >> why would they not?ould they not? >> how could they not? >> jimmy: what do they need with these farmers and nonsense. >> unemployed bachelors living in their parents' basements. >> jimmy: you're on tv, you more of these women. >> dammit, jimmy, you're right. thanks, man, this is great. >> jimmy: my pleasure, i'm happy to help, i really am. and thank you for considering my work.
>> jimmy: good to see you. >> jimmy kimmel takes a moment and says his good-byes. this was the most dramatic exit ever for jimmy.w why you would -- you've got to stop this -- >> i can't stop, i've been doing this 15 years. >> jimmy: you can stop if you . >> jimmy: i'm going to leave. don't say anything gotcha. >> jimmy: just be would it. don't put the headphones on. >> just put them down? >> jimmy: just put them t -- >> thanks. >> jimmy: turn around, don't even face the mike. bye, chris. >> see you, jimmy. thanks, buddy. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i said no! i think we might need to have an and vention. thank you, chris. thanks to everyone at "the bachelor." still to come music from unos is here.
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this is her book "the ygirl's guide to cooking," maria menounos is with us here. maria is newly gained, her fiance surprised her on "the howard stern show" last week. i love like that, i really do. and then we -- after that we go all the way to austin, texas action for a special south by sor album is "this is acting." sia from the samsung stage. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night on the show, kirsten dunst, join us, music from jake buggg and later this week harry connick jr., began ra bay from south by southwest with two chains and lil wayne so join us then. earlier tonight, many of you watched our first guest from theo the other first
dvr i'm sorry, say hello to ben higgins and his too yawn his fiancee! [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we'll get it later. how are you doing? >> good, how are you? >> jimmy: doing well. did you watch the finale together? >> not yet. >> jimmy: to be a test. >> yes. this whole thing has been a test. >> jimmy: have you watched any of the episodes together? >> yeah, a few. >> jimmy: couple of weeks ago. >> we kind of stopd? never watch the finale, there's no reason to. >> at least just our part. >> jimmy: watch your parts and zip zipones, yeah. so how long ago were you actually engaged? we just saw it tonight.
>> jimmy: of what year? >> 2012. >> jimmy: wow, that's a long time. okay, so you guys -- you got feel like you knew each gained? >> people ask us that all the yes. because there's not too much i've learned about hern what i thought from the show. >> jimmy: what have you learned about lauren that is different show? >> she loves to sleep in. i'm up at like 7:30 every 10:00. if i try to wake her up to hang out, to have breakfast or something, it's not happening. >> jimmy: yeah, that is good for when you have a baby, let him get and up you sleep till >> jimmy: is that a problem? >> i mean -- no. i've trained him. to >> jimmy: i see. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: lauren, you are a flight attend apt? >> correct. >> jimmy: have you been back to work since this all happened? >> so i january. so it has been airing for about a month and it was a little crazy.
>> jimmy: people recognized you? >> people were so nice, but ite way of my pushing the cart down the aisle. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> i was a little slower pouring drinks. i felt bad. >> jimmy: that is interesting.ne anything and they're all asking. >> everyone wants to know. >> jimmy: have you been together this whole time in yeah. >> they call them happy couples. so the idea is a happy couple is lock two people in a house somewhere around l.a. and y the weekend. >> jimmy: is it always a different house? or is it -- you're like el chapo on the run. >> exactly, all the time. [ at kind of period of time are we talking about here? you're there for a week, two weeks? >> not quite that long. >> three to four days. >> jimmy: this is like a house >> yeah. >> jimmy: a dui maybe .081 or something? >> exactly, right? you're not able to go out to eat?u, bring you food?
the best house we've had yet was in pasadena. it was just a mansion. it was massive. but they had moved out. so this left a couch and a bed. but the show never checked to see if they had wi-fi, cable tetion, a hot tub, a pool. they lock annuals a house for four days and we sit on the couch and stare at eachno tv? >> no. >> jimmy: how much sex can you have? let's be honest, nobod how much sex have you had? [ laughter ]e ] so now you're getting married. and -- i mean, you know. you know how these things go. a lot of the times people don't get married. does that worry you at all? >> no. i'm not worried.orried? >> jimmy: why am i worried? ate when it about worried. i always feel like there's and there's a vacuum at the end
here we are, a couch and a bed. >> yeah. i personally feel very disconnected watching the show.ife has moved on post-show with her. there's never been -- we actually woke up this morning, super excited for each other, have you ever been concerned about the future? and not once has that crossed our mind. >> jimmy: it hasn't. >> yeah, we both agreed that it's nothing we're concerned about. >> jimmy: how hammered do youch yourself on that show? really. >> a lot of tears. being on tv -- yes. >> jimmy: her sit agent home watching it >> just because i'm embarrassed. from embarrassment. then i call her. hon, have you watched tonight? no.'t! >> jimmy: you don't? >> then i do. i've watched a little bit. >> jimmy: to you get upset byfy of this stuff? >> i mean, no, because it know, a little while ago. i think that's why i don't watch it is to avoid the potential.
you were getting into. >> exactly. >> jimmy: when you got into it. my: if you had been the bachelorette, you would have done the same thing, right? >> exactly. >> jimmy: probably with even more people than ben. [ laughter ] ben, you would have beeny okay with that? >> yeah, i would have shrug the a ruggedmy: is there anything about living in secret all this time that botters you, pet peeves? anything i can help you with safe place. >> go ahead. >> so penn is a very heavy breather. out of his mouth. like a very heavy mouthreally? >> i have big lungs. it takes a lot to fill them up. >> that's his explanation for it. >> jimmy: i didn't notice that about you. you're not doing it righthe training part? >> when he's really close to me, i'm like, why are you breathing so funny?
pray for us before we go to bed.e've enjoyed doing, we need a lot of prayer right now. i'm praying and she stops me. can you not pray so loud? >> jimmy: god >> yeah. >> jimmy: are you praying she doesn't see the episode -- >> every time. that's the prayer, over and you're hoping god answers you. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, that was weird. i mean, i can't imagine. that's going to come out. there's going to be a day where you guys have it out.ng to call me out on it? >> jimmy: i think so. >> it might have already happened. >> may or may not have already happened. >> jimmy: it may have already happened. you have to work through that >> jimmy: that's why i i'm here. >> that's why we're here. >> yeah, your advice. >> jimmy: my advice is, get it over with, talk about it, don't let it stew for 18 months you guys are at rehearsal dinner and all of a sudden it's like, oh my god, you
and you're like, whynvite her? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we have a game show set up for you guys to find you know each other. there's a valuable prize attached. ben and lauren are here. we'll be right back with them!] stress sweat. its different than ordinary sweat. it smells worse and it can happen anytime to anyone. like when i ran to catch the train to work and a draft blew re saw my unmentionables. yea and they aren't even cute. hello! laundry day. stress sweat can happen to get 4 times the protection with secret clinical strength invisible solid and clear gel. talk wireless... ...we believe your tax refund should last. all. year. long. don't waste it on a pricey wireless plan. lose the contracts, mystery fees and overages. alk... ...to get coverage on america's largest and most
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>> jimmy: we're back wuds ith ben and lauren of "the bachelor." pass those to ben? then these are for you. please pass a pen to ben as well. >> okay. >>
jimmy: we're going to play kind of a version of like "the f thing. what are we calling this game? we have a thing? here it is. "fiance my name." given the fact that you haven't been together long w quiz you. for each question you get right, you will get a prize. dicky, tell them what they're playing for. >> dicky: ten porcelain microwave and dishwasher safes with coordinating flatware, perfect for casual or formal dining. >> jimmy: there you go.the pants? >> jimmy: this is all -- guillermo, you look great.
>> jimmy: get married in those. >> can i have them? >> jimmy: they might be a little puffy. i'm going to ask you each a question, you have to writeother's middle name? you're playing for a fork. lauren issays ben's middle name is -- go ahead and turn that around. edward. rrect? >> no. >> jimmy: it is so! >> it is. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: let's continue.s. you're playing now for a salad fork. siblings' names. question just for ben. >> yeah, thank you. >> jimmy: and ben? bryant, brett, t?
that was an easy one for lauren. you got a salad fork. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: next -- each of your aiden name. you want to pass on that one? oh, oh! okay.swer. ben is working on his answer. let's see your answers. your answers are? >> oh, ". >> jimmy: oh!dummy. [ laughter ] >> it's fox. >> i knew that. >> jimmy: it's fox? it's not smith? you went with the mosica? you're both smart, all right. very good, income question, playing for a spoon. name one uncle. one uncle.ot.
>> i got this.en, good and reveal -- uncle? dan. and uncle -- john. is there an uncle john or an uncle dan? >> there's an there is an uncle john. there is an uncle dan? >> no. >> jimmy: we're going to give you half a spoon for that one. one more. name of the childhoodf you. childhood pet. ben went right to the card. >> this is a huge part of her life. >> jimmy: oh, that is. apparently not a big part of ben's. >> no, i -- tip of my tongue? no conferring with each other, please.dinnerware at stake here. okay. and? okay, ben, go ahead. reveal? tessa. black lab. >> zoe. >> jimmy: zoe the black lab. congratulations. we're going to give you dinnerware anyway.
you'll get to know each other better. you'll have plenty of time. >> thank you. >> jimmy: ben and lauren, everybody. we'll be right back with maria menounos!] this is a body of proof. proof of less joint pain.. this is my body of proof that i can fight psoriatic arthritis ...with humira. humira works by targeting and helping to blocke of inflammation that contributes to both joint and skin symptoms. it's proven to help relieve pain, stop further joint damagen many adults. humira is the #1 prescribed biologic for psoriatic arthritis. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, . serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened, as have blood, liver and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure., get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if you've had tb,
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>> jimmy: hi there, we're back. still to come, music from sia. got engaged in a much more traditional way, live on "the howard stern show." she's the host of "e! news" and color of "every girl's guide to say hello to maria menounos!use ] >> jimmy: congratulations. it's like engagement night here knowledge i know, love unless the air?ifferently from ben and lauren. you and your fiance kevin dated for how long before you decided to get married? >> it's going to be 19 years in two weeks. >> that seems long good breaking-in period. [ laughter ] >> yeah, we kind of know each
>> jimmy: i think so. at first -- it's funny that whenn "the howard stern show." >> yeah. >> jimmy: was it really a surprise? was it genuinely a surprise? >> are you kidding me? i've never been so shocked orfe. you see the video. i'm like -- just in utter shock. my jaw was on the ground the spire time. >> jimmy: i know you are a big fan of "the howard stern >> jimmy: it seems like kevin is a huge fan of the show. >> yes. >> jimmy: is kevin proposing to you on that show a gift for him or a gift for you? >> i don't what, that show has meant a lot to us as a couple. like back in the day when our families were kind of against our relationship and nobody loved us. we wouldard stern on this twin mattress in this basement, because we were kind of homeless because i was disowned for dating a non-greek. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> it was bad times. we listened to the show and to say, someday you're going to be on this show, you're going to be a big star. i'm like, who this is wacko?
>> jimmy: why is he on my mattress? show many times. howard and beth are amazing. they plotted this behind my back. and beth was helping kevin with the ring. and she was really smart. she told him, delete every ence. maria's smart, she's a reporter, delete everything. >> jimmy: do you go into kevin's texts and e-mails? >> yes. >> jimmy: you do? what?g time. but i do -- okay. >> jimmy: what happened that precipitated the first -- i mean, what was going on at that picious? >> okay, so -- no. this time i was bored. okay? so i was super bored. and i was walkings taping a show. he was doing this new show tonight that starts called "the tomorrow show." and i was bored. he wasn't paying attention to me.ne was blowing up and i started looking through his phone. boring, boring, boring. i left it. thank god i didn't see anything.
>> jimmy: you know you're under oath right now. i don't believe -- i think you saw some things -- >> are you kidding, never. thank god. h to delete his trash. not smart enough? honey, i love you, you're super smart, you know what i mean? he's not super sleuth like that. i said, these e-mails went down, can we look at your trash? i bet they're in there. of course all the e-mails are in there. >> jimmy: did it say how much the ring cost and that kind of i haven't found that out yet. >> jimmy: are you going to look into that? >> i don't care what he spent on it. >> jimmy: the interesting part, besides being an engaged, and i was listening as this was happening. >> you were listening live? >> jimmy: of course i was. at that time,howard -- kevin came in and proposed to you, howard asked you, interrogated you about being hit onpy celebrity men. >> yes.he guy you lost your virginity to before you met kevin.
the engagement by the way. >> way to torture ow kevin's hair growth treatments are killing his sex drive. and how frequently you and kevin make love. >> yes. >> jimmy: kevin pops in and me? did you think it was a joke? >> i did at first, absolutely. i thought it was a total joke. and then -- you're in a moment, almost like a car accident, your life >> that's a great analogy. [ laughter ] for your engagement. >> a million things are going through my head. at firsts playing a prank on me and everybody's going to think he's the biggest [ bleep ] in the world. like a million things are going through your head. my mom had no idea. my dad knew the kevin told him, but he never told my mom. my parents were leaving the room because of the sex talk, somehow they migrated back in time to find out i was getting were at the studio with you? >> yeah. >> jimmy: they heard a lot of stuff, then howard brought them in. i think he invited them in to
>> that will be the next episode. >> jimmy: have you listened back to it? he actually did do that. >> i he did? >> jimmy: you may have been in a cloud of emotion at thelt like i was on drugs? your father declined the invitation fyi. >> all i remember is my dad saying, i love strippers. >> jimmy: i remember you tellingringing your parents to a strip club, which is a whole other segment. >> i did. >> jimmy: did you work on this would be with your mother?om was a cafeteria cook in schools in boston. >> jimmy: they're the best. >> she brought hers up to number one in the state. >> jimmy: like a lunch lady? >> yeah, >> she was amazing too. she mastered cooking really fast, delicious, healthy meals. we sat down to write this book for the everygirl who wants to do thehese are recipes that people who don't cook can cook? >> yes. absolutely. i hold your hand, there are a lot of tips. because i'm just like everybody else. cooking my
i communicated because i didn't speak english growing up. i used to tell -- my teacher showed up to one of my book de teacher. i saw her in the lineup. mrs. bruno! she's like, i didn't know you would remember me. you taught me english!s book! >> jimmy: this looks awfully cloon clean, this is not your cooking ooked for you guys before. you've had my cooking. >> in this apron? >> not in that one. >> jimmy: you did cook last time, all right.erything. >> thanks so much. >> jimmy: the engagement. will you be having a baby soon? [ cheers and applause ] >> we're working on the baby. now we're confused because we've got to plan>> will you have the baby on "the howard stern show"? >> i thought we were going to do that here. >> jimmy: you're welcome toguillermo, scrub up! that's her book, "the
we'll be right back with sia!nd applause ] >> dicky: tonight's music from austin south by southwest ismsung. the nafta trade treaty -- 850,000 jobs lost. special trade status with china -- 3 million jobs lost. now the trans-pacific trade dealca 448,000 more jobs. only one candidate for president has opposed every disastrous deal -- bernie sanders.upported
icky: tonight's music from austin south by southwest is brought to you by samsung. >> jimmy: i'd like to think ben and lauren, maria meologies to matt damon, we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next. first " this is acting" is theal wum. with the song sia! [ cheers and applause ] clipped wings i was a broken thing had a voice had a voice but i could not sing
the line had been crossed had a voice but i could not talk you held me down i struggle to fly now but there's a screamt we all try to hide we hold on so tight we cannot deny eats us alive oh it eats us alive yes there's a scream inside that we all we hold on so tight but i don't wanna die no i don't wanna die i don't wanna die nd i don't care if i sing off key i find myself in my melodies i sing for love i sing for meike a bird set free no i don't care if i sing off key i find myself
i sing for me i'll shout it out like a bird set free i'll shout it out like a bird set free a bird set free snows oh oh oh oh oh i'll shout it out like a bird set free now i fly hit the high notes i have a voice you held me down but i fought back loud but there's a scream inside that wetry to hide we hold on so tight we cannot deny
this is "nightline." >> tonight, the bachelor made his choice, handing over that but picking the one is never simple. tonight, how some online dating sites are trying to make it easy by allowing you to filter potential mates by height, hairy size. but when does preference cross the line into prejudice? >> it's pretty much like every other dating website out with the couple behind wherewhitepeoplemeet.com. trump world. our reporter there as violencel of pepper spray. >> and rhetoric -- >> these people are fascists.