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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  November 25, 2016 1:07am-2:07am EST

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[ cheers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: oh, this is a a special, special performance by a special, special artist. he's a grammy-winning, oscar-nominated, record-breaking artist, who is out with one of the biggest albums of the year. performing "i feel it coming", and the title track to his new album "starboy," give it up for the weeknd! ? ? tell me what you really like baby i can take my time ? ? we don't ever have to fight just take it step-by-step ? ? i can see it in your eyes cause they never tell me lies ? ? i can feel that body shake and the heat between your legs ?
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you don't have to run ? ? i know what you've been through just a simple touch and it can set you free ? ? we don't have to rush when you're alone with me i feel it coming i feel it coming babe ? ? i feel it coming i feel it coming babe i feel it coming ? i feel it coming i feel it coming babe ? [ cheers and applause ] ? ? i'm tryna put you in the worst mood ah ? ? p1 cleaner than your church shoes ah milli point two just to hurt you ? ? all red lamb just to tease you ah none of these toys on lease too ? ? made your whole year
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main main out of your league too ah ? ? side side out of your league too ah house so empty need a centerpiece ? ? twenty racks a table cut from ebony cut that ivory into skinny pieces ? ? then she clean up with her face man i love my baby you talking money ? ? need a hearing aid you talking bout me i don't see the shade switch up my style ? ? i take any lane switch up my cup i kill any pain ? ? i said look what you done ? ? i'm a i'm a starboy look what you done i'm a i'm a starboy let a brad pitt legend ? ? of the fall took the year like a bandit bought momma a crib and a brand new wagon ? ? now she hit the grocery shop lookin lavish star trek groove
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when they hear this song hundred on the dash get me close to god ? ? we don't pray for love we just pray for cars house so empty need a centerpiece ? ? twenty racks a table cut from ebony cut that ivory into skinny pieces ? ? then she clean up with her face man i love my baby you talking money ? ? need a hearing aid you talking bout me i don't see the shade switch up my style ? ? i take any lane i switch up my cup i kill any pain look what you done ? ? oh baby why i'm a i'm a starboy i said look what you done look what you done ? ? look what you done i'm a i'm a star
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i said look what you done ? ? look what you done look what you done i'm a i'm a starboy ? ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my god! ? look what you've done ? oh, man! the weeknd! that's how you do it right there! "starboy" is out now. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen.
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? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks, thanks, thanks to kevin james, tim gunn, the weeknd! [ cheers and applause ] ? look what you've done ? oh! so good. the roots right there of philadelphia, pennsylvania! [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching.
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happy thanksgiving! [ cheers and applause ] ? [ cheers and applause ] ? >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight, a special thanksgiving edition of "late night" featuring hillary and larry meyers. josh meyers. we'll play "how well do you know your meyers?" featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. ? [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, everybody. how are you? [ cheers and applause ] happy thanksgiving to everyone here. happy thanksgiving to everyone at home. and because it's thanksgiving and because a lot of people who maybe spent the whole day trying to avoid talking about politics,
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politics tonight. happy thanksgiving to you. that's our gift. [ cheers and applause ] but we are going to get to the news. [ light laughter ] president obama pardoned two turkeys for thanksgiving yesterday which is scary because one of those turkeys told the parole board that he would kill again. [ laughter ] according to a report from the calorie control council, the average american will eat upwards of 3,000 calories during thanksgiving dinner. of course, the next day it's back to the usual 2,900. [ laughter ] the 90th annual "macy's thanksgiving day parade" was today. and performers included tony bennett and the muppets. "it's nice to meet you, mr. bennett," said a fan to someone that wasn't tony bennett. [ laughter ] jeweler, helzberg diamonds is running a promotion where you'll get a free xbox if you spend over $1,000.
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free ex. [ laughter ] [ audience groans ] nasa engineers are reportedly working on a fuel-less engine that could theoretically take astronauts to mars in less than 70 days. in other words, less time than it took you to get home for thanksgiving. [ laughter ] apple has announced that it will be offering surprise black friday deals this year. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i've never been more confident that a joke is going to work. [ laughter ] than the joke i'm about to do right now. [ light laughter ] justin bieber punched a fan in the face this week in barcelona. [ light laughter ] authorities there have charged him with athault. [ laughter ]
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sometimes -- sometimes you just know you got a good one. [ light laughter ] and finally, the president of south korea is facing public outrage after it was discovered that she used government money to buy over 350 viagra tablets. her staff could face stiff penalties. [ laughter ] [ applause ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight. a continuing thanksgiving family is here. the guests tonight are hilary meyers, my mother, larry meyers, my father, and my brother, josh meyers. we will also be playing another edition of our hit game show "how well do you know your meyers?" so you're here on a fantastic night. also this year the thing i am most thankful for is my beautiful wife gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. and, well i'm the father for a first time. and it's fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] this time of year. it is fantastic to have family.
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"will you have your baby, ashe, on the show for thanksgiving?" about the same amount of people always ask, "will you have your dog, frisbee, on the show for thanksgiving?" and, the reality is it is past ashe's bedtime. so he can't be here. and frisbee is scared of everyone and all things. [ light laughter ] but i did not want to deny everyone our awesome baby and our awesome dog. so here is ten seconds of my baby dressed as a turkey and my dog dressed as a pilgrim. [ audience aws ] ? [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: i think if you watched that, you could tell if my baby could talk, he would be saying "this is great, i love this." and my dog would be saying "i will murder you in your sleep." [ light laughter ]
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i'm married now. i have a baby, but nothing, nothing makes me feel older than when i don't know the new slang terms teenagers are using. and this day -- these days, it seems like teen slang terms are evolving so fast that it is impossible to keep up and there are some new terms that are actually, these are new teen slang terms that are actually inspired by thanksgiving. so we here at "late night" decided to give you a little primer on these new teen slang terms in a segment we call "seth explains teen slang: thanksgiving edition." [ cheers and applause ] let's start with this one. "cornucopia." this is a popular new teen slang term, let's see what it means. the array of drugs you brought with you to survive holidays with the family. [ light laughter ] here it is in a sentence, "i have xanax, and weed but if grandpa starts talking trump, i'm gonna have to break out the vitamin k." #corncucopia. [ scattered applause ] moving on, our next thanksgiving
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here's the definition, when you bring your girlfriend home for thanksgiving, but you're scared of your parents walking in so you just do over the shirt stuff. [ light laughter ] let's see it in a sentence, "mom kept kicking in the door asking if we were hungry while me and melissa were inside. luckily we were just playing some two handed touch football." [ light laughter ] moving on, our next slang term is "cranberry sauced." let's see what it is, it's when your aunt gets drunk before the turkey is even out of the oven. [ laughter ] let's see it in a sentence, "the whole family hadn't even arrived yet and aunt linda a 'i will survive.'" #cranberry sauced. next up, some of you may have heard of a "turducken" which is a chicken, stuffed into a duck, stuffed into a turkey. well this new slang term is "turduncle." and it's a relative who gained so much weight since last thanksgiving, it looked like they swallowed a person who swallowed another person. [ light laughter ] for example, "uncle pete sat down to thanksgiving dinner
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[ light laughter ] #turduncle. our next term is "mayflower." here's the definition, a car full of white people driving to an indian restaurant. [ laughter ] for example, "hey, josh, tyler and brad, i could really crush some saag paneer right now, fire up the mayflower." [ scattered applause ] next up we have, "pumpkin pious." it means the person at the dinner table who insists you say a prayer. for example, "mom's weird friend crystal wouldn't let anyone start eating dinner unti somebody tell that bitch, we jewish." [ light laughter ] #pumpkin pious #mezuzah on the door [ laughter and applause ] our next teen slang term is, "leftovers." here's the definition, the kids from your hometown who never left. [ laughter ] for example, "don't go to the diner on first street when you're home for thanksgiving, everyone there is a leftover and they want to catch up." [ light laughter ] next up, we have "pardoning your
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to masturbate but then decide to -- not to at the last minute. let's see it in a sentence, "i locked myself in the bathroom but when i closed my eyes all i could see was my topless aunt linda singing 'i will survive.' decided to go ahead and pardon my turkey." [ applause ] our last teen slang term is "macy's parade." it's when your cousins go outside and smoke weed and then float back into the house. [ laughter ] for example, "sean and patrick disappeared for, like, two hours during thanksgiving, then they hovered into the house and ate #macy'sparade. that was "seth explains teen slang: thanksgiving edition." we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] ? ? enjoy your phone! you too. (inner monologue) all right, be cool. you got the amazing new iphone 7 on the house by switching to at&t...
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? [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody, give it up to the 8g [ cheers and applause ] you know what, it's thanksgiving. let's look at that video one more time. ? >> seth: here's my impression of ashe getting into his turkey suit. [ light laughter ] and here's my impression of frisbee getting in her pilgrim suit.
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continue, there's something i have been meaning to get off my chest for a while now, and, well, you know, i usually don't air my personal opinions on the show and this one has actually gotten me in trouble in the past. but i'm sorry, i have to say this, thanksgiving is too close to christmas. >> at this point in the broadcast, seth launched into a 60 second obscenity laden tirade about thanksgiving and his opinions about its proximity to christmas. network policy prevents us from broadcasting his comments, but due to a tic were unable to edit this portion of the show. in summay, seth believes having two turkey-eating holidays within a month of each other is totally wack. [ light laughter ] he suggested the fitness industry was in bed with the holiday industry, just trying to fatten people up to sell gym memberships in january. [ light laughter ] he paused to wonder who benefits most from this arrangement saying "i bet santa gets all the free equinox classes he wants, which probably isn't a lot. let's face it, dude is a chunker."
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towards thanksgiving food, claiming you can't spell stuffing without "f-u." [ light laughter ] which is accurate, however, he also claimed you can't spell "oboe" without "boobie" which is inaccurate and also irrelevant. [ light laughter ] seth then began listing things he'd rather do than go shopping on black friday. a list that included fist-fighting a gorilla, sticking his junk inside a nutribullet and drinking an entire bottle of window cleaner. [ laughter ] then sensing the audience didn't believe him, he lifted up a bottle of window cleaner, nearly all of the bottle. [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers ] he quickly followed this by saying, "and yes, mr. demille, i am ready for my close-up." [ light laughter ] seth then turned to the close-up camera and smiled the worst smile you ever did see. [ laughter ] seth then complained that having to see your family twice in two months was just too exhausting, claiming "they're always up in my grill." at which point seth's brother,
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buttmunch." [ light laughter ] to which seth replied "don't call me buttmunch, douche-nozzle." [ light laughter ] to which josh replied, "don't tell me what to do, fart-knocker." [ light laughter ] to which seth replied, "try and stop me, chode-smoker." [ light laughter ] to which josh replied, "make me, turd-burglar." to which seth replied, "eat my farts, dill-weed." to which josh replied, "ooh, dill-weed? that's quite the insult coming from a dill-hole." [ light laughter ] step too far and seth's feelings were so hurt that josh felt immediate guilt. [ audience aws ] realizing he had crossed the line, josh began apologizing profusely. things seemed to calm down as they went in to hug, but then josh kneed seth in the dick. [ laughter and applause ] at this point, seth's mother said, "larry, we have to do something about this." to which seth's father replied, "i'm going to give my love to the winner." [ laughter ] nbc would like viewers to disregard seth's opinions about thanksgiving, as they do not reflect the network's position and do not make any sense.
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>> seth: and you can take the heat and keep your turkey out of my kitchen. woo! that felt good to get off my chest. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] ? ? hon, i don't know if i deserve this - apers! your usual? not for me - for him. hon, you have something in your hair. would you like an oatmeal scrub? i already ate, actually. hon, we listen to carol. make my eyes pop? is this supposed to happen? (screams) i'm just kidding. we should do this more often. hold hands? no, sit in crazy chairs. get together and shop small on small business saturday.
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? ? ?
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? [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. our guests tonight are three of my favorite people in the world.
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[ cheers and applause ] ? ? [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: there they are. third year, we start letting you guys be in sketches. [ light laug ] we're going to obviously talk about our family a lot. everything we will say tonight is honest and truthful. and i feel like we need to say that. because as you've pointed out in the past, there was a time where i took some liberties with our family history. >> yes, it's true. in seventh grade you had to write a family history, which all the kids said it was a big year-end project. other kids are interviewing their grandmothers and grandfathers and so we kept saying to you, how's it coming? you say, yeah it's coming, it's
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it's good. want to call grandma? yeah, i'll call. want to look at family albums? yeah. [ light laughter ] and so, and hilary was a teacher in the same school that he went to, so if he didn't do a good job, she was going to take -- hear about it. >> seth: yeah. >> and, but anyway, the night before, how's the family history coming? i'm all set. we go to bed, we wake up, we could hear the printer in the morning printing. [ light laughter ] so like really good parents, we completely forgot about it and the school year was over and hilary's cleaning out the backpack and i come home from work and she said, here's the family history. so i start, i read the first page. at the bottom it says i can't wait to turn the page. the teacher wrote this. so we flip it, read the second page. at the bottom, it says what an interesting family. now, the highlight of the second
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emigrated from lithuania with about two kopeks to her name, according to his history, she was an olympic equestrian. [ laughter ] and, anyway, yeah it's seventh grade. it's four, five pages. he comes home that night and i remember saying to you, i said, well, i read your family history. you said, "dad, i got an 'a,' it was really good." [ light laughter ] and i said, yeah, but it's not our family. and he said, what were they going to do, fact check it? [ laughter ] >> seth: i took advantage. >> he took advantage. >> seth: i took advantage of a hole in the system. >> that's right. [ light laughter ] >> seth: i should mention, by the way, you have a cocktail right there, mom. i have a cocktail here. do you guys have your cocktails there? >> yeah i'll get you one, here you go. >> seth: there's yours. >> i kind of -- >> seth: oh you're nervous. you don't want to have a drink yet? >> i'm too nervous. last year we did this in the daytime. and it was much easier for me. but now, what time is it at night? i mean i've -- >> seth: well the fact that you
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also backstage -- [ inaudible ] >> yeah, but she has asked me what time it is three times. in the last half hour. >> seth: i think the more problematic thing was her saying, "it's so much easier to have a drink in the daytime." [ laughter ] >> i didn't say that. >> seth: all right, now i want to ask her this, because i think a lot of people are at home right now might be going to high school reunions. that's something that happens over thanksgiving weekend. but both of you have your fifty year reunion this year. >> 50th high school, yes. >> seth: and you both went to each other's high school reunion >> called me from mom's phone, so, at hers. >> yes. so we call my mother, hurry. it's a nickname. and so my phone rings, and it says hurry. i answer, i say hurry. because that's what you do. [ light laughter ] but it was my father, it was yarry. he's like, hey, i'm at this reunion, it's awful. [ light laughter ] i don't know anyone. these people are so old.
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[ laughter ] he's like, i don't know, man, they look old. [ light laughter ] and i was driving, i was going to a friend's house to watch the college football game and he's like, like, can you -- do you want to talk? i was like, well, i mean, i'll talk for the rest of this drive. and he's like, i'll do anything to not -- >> i don't want to go back in! >> he's like, i can see how much i remember of "green eggs and ham," like i'll do anything right now. >> seth: there you go. >> yeah. >> seth: now, but you, you found on. >> yes. >> seth: he wasn't at the reunion, right? >> no i haven't seen him since high school. >> seth: this was your high school crush. >> yes. >> seth: and nothing ever happened with him. >> no, he would come to my house all the time. >> seth: don't sound so disappointed. [ light laughter ] >> so he had in high school, he had one of those 5 o'clock shadows. nobody had that. >> seth: uh-huh. >> crazy, swarthy, big, tall, greek guy. >> seth: okay. >> like a greek god.
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asked me out. i thought, never, to a prom or anything. >> seth: uh-huh. >> so i'm at the reunion, i'm sitting there, and his best friend sits down next to me, he says, "oh my gosh, mark was crazy in love with you." i said, no way. i said, "why didn't he ever ask me out?" he was too shy. said, "why wouldn't you ask him out?" i said, "in the sixties nobody did that." [ light laughter ] right? >> seth: yeah. >> i was a good girl. >> seth: yeah. >> so then the next night i go to my book group. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> i shudder to think what he's doing. >> seth: so you go to your book group. >> so the next night i go to my book group,and there's eight women there, my friends, and i relayed this story. >> seth: sure. >> and they said, "well, do you know what he looks like?" and i said "no, i just have his high school reunion picture." >> seth: sure. >> they said, "you know you can google people." >> seth: oh, right. >> i said, really? >> seth: yeah, you had no idea. >> no 'cause i don't -- >> it's in all the papers. google. >> but i didn't know that you could get a picture of somebody.
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>> seth: a current picture. >> current picture. guess who he looks like? >> seth: who? >> a dead ringer. [ laughter and applause ] a dead ringer. >> seth: you got a type. >> i do. >> seth: so in the end it was -- >> well, he was swarthy and greek. i don't know what happened to him. [ light laughter ] >> i don't have my phone on me. i don't exactly have a beard. like, i haven't shaved since last thursday. so, i don't know. >> seth: there you go. well it all worked out, i think. 'cause, i mean, you could have ended up with him. he looks the same but then you wouldn't have poshy and i. >> that's right. it all worked out perfect. >> seth: all right, we'll be right back with more "
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z25egz z16fz >> okay, over here, rambo. say fromage. yeah no expression whatsoever. good choice. okay. little sis, step on up. hey, out of my shot, special ed. >> hey be nice. they're just kids. >> they drew first blood, not me. >> guess now isn't a good time to tell you i'm pregnant. >> you're preggers? >> i'm kidding.
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talk about how many rugrats we're going to have. i used to think six, but after today, i'm not so sure. >> seth: welcome back to "the late night," everybody. [ cheers and applause ] that was my brother, josh. and a clip from the second season of his show, "red oaks" on amazon prime. check it out. it's a fantastic show. and so now we're back, very exciting. one of the things that's happened this year obviously, is you're grandparents for the first time with baby ashe. and has it been as exciting as you thought it would be? >> it's pretty exciting. >> yeah it's great. >> yeah. >> seth: we post photos every guys can keep in touch. >> yes. >> seth: you were very excited he started crawling. >> yes. very excited. and i didn't know you could do that. videos and pictures every day can come to people. [ light laughter ] who knew? >> seth: google and video in the same week, this must be a real -- you know, they also have watches that tell you what time it is. [ light laughter ] >> i just have a bracelet. >> you should see her expression when she opens the mailbox and sees the mail. [ light laughter ] wow. >> seth: how does it happen? >> i will say on the video front, like, i'm so happy that
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and he was sort of tricked with a ball and he came forward and it's great. because it was like, i love him and he's adorable, like, it's undeniable, but there was to me, there was a really dark period of just when he first started eating solid food. >> seth: yeah. >> it was like 45-second videos, like, he really loves this salmon and asparagus. [ light laughter ] and he was just, like, be mashing the food against his face and it's like, he's so cute and he's so great. >> seth: so you were happy with the crawling v. >> absolutely. >> yeah. it was, yeah. because i was also waiting for something to happen at the end of those videos. [ light laughter ] >> that he would eventually get the food in his mouth. >> yeah. there's never a turn. >> seth: well look, i'm going to give him all these notes. [ light laughter ] >> please, please. >> seth: and i think this is actually a nice segue because the meyers family is obviously very honest about how they feel about things. giving notes is something that certainly you two have never been loathe to do. josh, there's -- you've been watching every episode of the show. >> yeah.
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>> well, i love you sitting at the desk to start, but when you used to come out and do the standing monologue, you would say, how's everybody doing, are we well? is everybody well? which is grammatically correct, but you sound pricky. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> you don't do that anymore. [ laughter ] >> seth: well, um. [ laughter ] and now, dad, recently you got on the phone with me, and this isn't really a note for me, you have a note for some guests. >> yeah, most of the guests, if you watch other talk shows, which you shouldn't really do. [ laughter ] but if you watch other talk shows, you see they cut to commercial, everybody sitting there, they're having conversation, maybe it's real, maybe it's put on, but on this show every now and then, just as they get ready to go to the commercial before they do it, a guest starts to leave and it drives me crazy, like they can't wait to leave. >> seth: yeah. and he called me and said, you got to do something about that. [ light laughter ]
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he said, you got to tell them again. [ light laughter ] so this is it. this is the message. >> velcro, something. >> seth: one of the other things about having a baby that my wife is most afraid of is we, as a meyers family, have a vocabulary that was created when we were babies. >> right. >> seth: so we as adults already have baby talk as part of our life. >> yeah. >> seth: my wife is afraid we are going to teach him baby words as adults and he's going to think those are the real words. like just some quick examples. can in unison say what the meyers family calls them. banana. >> bini. [ light laughter ] >> seth: elephant. >> hensent. >> seth: dinner. >> dinwars. >> seth: yeah, yeah. and so alexi has voiced her concern about this, to you. >> yeah well she -- like, we all -- you all call me posh. >> seth: yeah. >> and like alexi slipped at one point and called me posh. and that was sort of the first dipping her toe in the water. >> seth: she didn't want to call you posh. >> not at all. >> seth: yeah. >> and she also has said to us,
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these words so often. >> seth: we juse wear people down. [ light laughter ] >> because we're not going to change. >> seth: yeah. >> no. >> seth: as we mentioned, our nicknames, hurry, yarry, poshy, soofie. ashe, you've been saying ashe is a tricky name to make a nickname. >> yeah, because it's like your names are one syllable but you can make them longer but can't really -- i can't figure out what to put on ashe. >> seth: yeah, ashey just is not as much fun. >> ashey, no, it's not good. >> seth: but you actually, years ago came up with what you wanted to call thrs >> poncho. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] and you want to explain that real quick? >> yeah, when i was a kid, there used to be a tv show called the "cisco kid." and the "cisco kid" was sort of the hero and his sidekick who was kind of comic relief was poncho. and so, not only do i want to call him poncho, but i don't want to be called grandpa, i want to be called cisco. [ laughter ] and if you saw the pictures earlier, he's comic relief.
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obviously, we'll see him this weekend and when i say to ashe, here's grandma hurry and here's the cisco kid. [ light laughter ] alexi's eyes roll out of her head. >> yeah. >> seth: all right. so that's a little bit of the background of the meyers. but when we come back, we'll play our favorite game show, "how well do you know your meyers?" right after this. [ cheers and applause ]
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? [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back. it's thanksgiving, which means it's a great time for families to find out how much they know about each other. and we're the meyers family, so it's time to play "how well do you know your meyers?" [ cheers and applause ] ? ? >> seth: the game is simple. i will ask my family trivia questions about the meyers family. now, if you've watched in the past, you'll remember my
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hospital so we are joined by her sister, classandra. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> hi. >> seth: i was so sorry to hear cassandra was in the hospital. >> she's not in the hospital anymore. >> seth: oh, that's good to hear. >> she died. >> seth: oh. [ light laughter ] classandra, is that true? [ laughter ] all right. i'll take the cards now. no, i -- we need them. i need that. [ laughter ] give it up for classandra, every. [ cheers and applause ] josh, the first question is for you. where was the worst vacation we ever took as a family? >> busch gardens? >> seth: classandra, show me the answer. molasses pond. [ laughter ] that was the answer we were looking for. >> why didn't i get a chance? >> seth: what? >> why didn't i get a chance? >> seth: that's not how it works this year. >> oh, my gosh, i already would have been 1-0. [ laughter ]
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that you loved that trip. >> seth: did you like molasses pond? >> i loved molasses pond. >> seth: well then, you don't deserve a point. [ light laughter ] mom? >> yes? >> seth: you ready for your question? >> yeah, i hope i know it. >> seth: we're going to show you a video on this tv screen. >> okay. >> seth: mom, tell uses what this is. [ indistinct chatter ] >> i don't know. it's you two somewhere. but what -- >> seth: let's try looking at it one more time. >> all right. are you on a - aru i don't know what it -- [ laughter ] >> seth: classandra, show us what it is. it was a face swap video. >> oh come on -- videos, you know my history on videos. [ laughter ] no fair. >> seth: but subway was a good guess. [ light laughter ] >> yeah. >> there was also a tornado when we went to busch gardens. >> seth: that's true. there was a tornado. it was still better than [ bleep
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little, what would you call us when it was time for us to take a bath? >> dirt ball one and dirt ball two. [ light laughter ] >> seth: classandra? that's right. [ cheers and applause ] classandra, give my dad his first point. and of course, points here in the meyers family are sheep dogs because we've only had sheep dogs for our entire life. and what have been the five sheep dogs' names, dad? >> the first one was albert. then there was albert. albert. >> albert. >> albert. and albert. >> seth: yeah, there you go. that's right. [ applause ] all right. moving on to round two. josh? in high school, you ran for student council president. on one of your posters, you put your head on the body of a male model. the text on that poster read "it's a good day for the women of west when josh does" what? now, before we continue with round two, i want to remind you in round two of our game, you
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in this case, baze is our head writer, alex baze. [ cheers and applause ] so if you need help with a question, much like phone a friend on "who wants to be a billionaire," baze is here for josh. here for you. josh, the question is for you. in high school, you ran for student council president, on one of your posters you put your body on the head of a male model. the text on that poster read, "it's a good day for the women of west" when josh does whwhat? >> i'm going to ask a baze. >> seth: all right. baze. in high school, josh ran for student council president. on one of his posters he put his head on the body of a male model. the text on that poster read "it's a good day for the women of west" when josh does what? >> i don't know. [ laughter ] you know why i don't know? i didn't grow up with you. and when you talk about growing up, i don't listen. [ light laughter ] you know why? i'm busy writing a monologue every single night. and don't take this the wrong way, but the rest of the world
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[ laughter ] >> oh, that's cold. >> you're not -- i'll be right with you, miss. [ laughter ] you're not the house of windsor. also, you're too close with your family and it's weird. [ laughter ] you know what, next year we should do "how well do you know baze?" the first question is for you, seth. where am i from? >> seth: what? [ laughter ] >> we've known each other 15 years. where am i from? >> seth: the states? [ light laughter ] >> you're lucky your family is here, bro. [ light laughter ] >> seth: well, that backfired. [ light laughter ] all right. back to you, josh. high school, you ran for student council president. one of your posters you put your head on the body of a male model. the text on that poster read, "it's a good day for the women of west" when josh does what? >> forgets to wear clothes. >> seth: classandra? forgets to wear clothes is correct. [ cheers and applause ] and we actually have a photo of that poster.
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can't believe they didn't take it down. [ light laughter ] >> seth: moving on, mom. the question is for you. >> oh, gosh. >> seth: when josh and i came home from school, what was our most requested snack? >> all your meats and cheeses? >> seth: all your meats and cheeses. classandra? that's correct. [ cheers and applause ] >> wait, wait, wait. where did you grow up, on a cruise ship? [ light laught want to know was a snack was at the baze household? some hard tack and a pack of cigarettes. [ laughter ] >> seth: do you have anything else to add, baze? >> yeah, happy thanksgiving. i'm going to go write some jokes. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: definitely -- definitely the last year for "ask a baze." moving on to you, dad. [ turkey gobbling ] oh, and that sound means it's time for a video question. and tonight's video question comes from actor/comedian
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>> the question is, who was hilary hitting on at the afterparty the year seth hosted the emmys? >> seth: dad, who was mom hitting on at the afterparty, when i hosted the emmys? >> i have a two-part answer to that. [ light laughter ] >> seth: okay. >> the first part is idris elba. >> seth: okay. >> and the second part is, i'm going to miss baze. >> seth: oh, yeah. i'm going to miss baze too. >> i'm going to miss baze. >> seth: the answer is idris elba. retta, what did you have to say? i see you hillary and i feel you. [ laughter ] >> seth: all right. give another point to my father, classandra. [ cheers and applause ] all right. we go to round two, what do we got, we have two for my dad, one for josh and one for my mom. it is the final round. classandra, how are you doing? >> sad. >>eth: why, because cassandra's gone? >> no, because baze left.
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[ light laughter ] >> seth: okay. [ light laughter ] so you also think my family is weird? [ light laughter ] okay. here we go. final round. [ bells jingling ] oh, and that sound means we're switching it up and it's time for how well do you know your ashes? ? okay. in this round the questions will be about my wife's family, the ashes. my in-laws who are not here because they a c so the first question about my in-laws is for you, josh. tonight after dinner we will watch our beloved pittsburgh steelers play the colts on nbc. how many members of the ashe family will join us? >> zero. >> seth: classandra? zero is correct. [ cheers and applause ] my wife's family thinks sports are dumb and a waste of time, and yet they are cool with karaoke. [ light laughter ]


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